2024, Lucie Guest (Christmas at the Chalet) -- download
The Draw: Had to watch at least one Ashley Williams movie this season. Do I have my fav Hallmarkie mains? I must, right?
HERstory: OK, this is one of the "elevated concepts" that Kent mentions, as in its not trying to do a Hallmarkie formula, but play with a whole "original" idea. Its not actually original at all, but for Hallmark, it might be? Anywayz, basically this movie is an "The Amazing Race" rip-off but focused on Xmas and set in the US. Also, the poster and the opening credits are basically a nod to Catch Me if You Can" which makes no sense, cuz this is not a caper movie.
Anywayz, Avery is an elementary school teacher who really wants to start up an after-school reading program. Wes is a retired hockey player who was a lead slap-shot score-er (?) with the Chicago <name that is not Blackhawks> and is looking for his Next Big Thing but is always being upstaged by another, more popular, retired hockey player. Avery's sister signs her up for "The Great Holiday Dash", the aforementioned rip-off of "The Amazing Race", and so does Wes's agent, as an opportunity to get his face out there again.
Avery is really really not athletic, but she is good at puzzles, but she goes to her sister's gym to begin working out in the .. I dunno, couple of days before the competition starts, cuz that is how exercising works. No matter, it serves to introduce the couple as they irritate each other over exercise equipment.
Next day, guess who bumps into each other? Aaaaand to top it off, they are assigned, randomly, to team up together. The host Keegan claims this is new for the show, but... aren't they all team based? Anywayz, lots of other cool couples get highlighted so we have other characters to root for, and they all get to wear bright red, embroidered bomber jackets ("Team Slay Whaaat!") I don't know why, but I really want one of those jackets.
Anywayz, the idea of the show is that they crack open clue notes, which then presents to them a riddle which when answers leads them to the next city, and the next clue. First up, its off to Chicago's Germantown, cuz I guess Chicago has some German roots? In an over-the-top festhall they have to crack walnuts. Wes's other hockey player rival can crack nuts with his hands; Wes and Avery need a tool and come out of the gate last. A note about the game is that when a team comes last, they are eliminated, which allows us to ignore most of the teams as the movie goes along, cuz they go bye-bye.
Next, jump on a plane. Like the actual reality show, it dances right past how they book and pay for the flights, but they all get jammed on a plane bound for .... y'know what, I don't remember each city they went to, nor each competition. Maybe notes would have helped. Either way, as the games progress, Avery's book smarts help them out in pretty much every competition, but for a few times when it requires physical acumen, and Wes overcomes his ego and helps out. The rival hockey player doesn't take long to be eliminated cuz he's saddled with a puck bunny, and city after city the two warm up to each other, and soon it is down to just three couples: our two mains, a mother & proxy daughter team, and two gay guys who hate their wage slave jobs and want to open a resto and who are soon making googley eyes at each other.
To add to the "fun" the producers start to notice Wes and Avery are making their own googley eyes, and ask Wes to play it up for ratings. He feels icky about it, but complies, eventually his real feelings overcoming what he is doing for the show. That is, until Avery catches the producer and Wes talking about it, and she stalks off before he tells the producer to bugger off. Complication!!
But no matter, Mr Producer eventually comes along and sets things straight with Avery just in time for the two to win the competition. At the winning ceremonies, the two offer up portions of their winnings to the other finalist competitor teams, helping The Gays open a resto, Proxy Daughter pay off her student loans, and Proxy Mom get a scholarship in her late daughter's name. And the two kiss.
The Formulae: A dearth of them, but we start with Grumpy with Each Other, which hasn't been around for a while, and of course, we end up with a complication which takes about five seconds to clear up. But beyond that, nothing much memorable.
Unformulae: This is more a romantic pseudo-reality show than a proper Hallmarkie, but that's alright, maybe I need to open myself to more tropes to label.
True Calling? Sure, I guess its an Xmas based reality show but why not just call the actual competition "Jingle Bell Run" ?
The Rewind: The shot of the Boston-based ski resort which has giant snow-capped mountains in the background. Massachusetts might have a few small ski hills, but nothing "resort in the mountains" level. It was just ... weird. I mean, don't they know Americans are watching?
The Regulars: Ashley Williams and Andrew Walker are Hallmarkie Royalty. Recognizable Canadian Face, James David Lewis, who played the show's weird host, has done a few Xmas Hallmarkies, but even more of the Hallmarkie-style murder mystery shows. I may love me some milquetoast murder-of-the-week crime shows but even I cannot fathom watching a Hallmarkie style one. One of The Gays, Brad Harder, has been in a handull, including The Christmas House.
How does it Hallmark? Its outside of concept but its mostly a fun movie? But Wes and Avery seem like they could be better friends, but maybe its just the two veterans of Hallmarkie Land being fatigued over making googley eyes (yes, some day I will have to start including screenshots with actual googley eyes) to each other, but the chemistry is not exactly there. Sure, the two leads are really charming and always sweet AF, but I didn't buy them falling for each other.
How does it movie? It tries, it really does, but it doesn't even come across as being a basic Xmas-themed comedy movie.
How Does It Snow? Nothing, but it does have an excuse that it spends most of its time in areas not expecting snow. I mean, it tries in west Texas when it uses a "snow storm" as an excuse to cancel flights, but.... ?
No comments:
Post a Comment