2024, Christie Will Wolf (A Cookie Cutter Christmas) -- download
The Draw: Cuz Kent asked me to watch it? I suspect, for two reasons: because its about a trope-laden PST, much like Evergreen, or because its shot in Nova Scotia, Mahone Bay in particular, which is truly one of those lovely PSTs that I adore, even when its not Xmas.
Note: The linked post looks wonky because The Peanut Gallery deleted her Twitter account after it became the stinkiest of all stinky social media sites, Muskland.
HERstory: Beatrice (Megahn Ory, Hudson & Rex) and Emilia (Lindura, Christmas Time Capsule) are roomies. Bea is an orphan who is not very fond of Xmas because she never really got the whole experience having spent her childhood in foster homes. Buuut Emilia has a special treat in mind for the two of them for the holidays -- a trip to Christmasland !! Its like Christmas Island but without the 'I'. But seriously, its a town in New Hampshire that goes all-in for the Holiday Movie Experience, and Emilia loves the idea. Bea does not. Over burned cookies we start a "No, I will not go to Christmasland with you!" montage, but in the end Bea gives in as it could be a good story -- she is a journalist who does puff pieces and this is the puffiest.
Meanwhile Ethan Crane (John Reardon, Hudson & Rex) is coming home to Christmasland from Boston. His mom Carol (Cathy Jones, The Grand Secuction) runs the Inn and he is expected to pitch in and help her out, starting with a list of chores the length of his arm. There is a slight hint with these scenes that its how Emilia is describing Christmasland and maybe not quite real.
The girls are soon on the long wintry road to Christmasland, and if I didn't know better, the overhead shot of them driving the lonely road would tell me they are about to head into a horror movie. And they even break down with a flat, and no spare. Emilia is right there with it, commenting how this ALWAYS happens in the Holiday Romance Movies (she is right) and it shouldn't be long until the handsome man arrives in his (red) truck. She is right, as Evan appears with a puppy in his back seat and an offer to drive them into town. Emilia is delighted. Christmas Magic has begun!
When they arrive at the Inn, they meet Carol and settle in for the night. The next morning they also meet another guest, Porter Bryant (Kevin Hanchard, Hudson & Rex), and Emilia is immediately smitten. She is going to do pre-arranged Xmas Stuff (egg nog tasting; Bea is lactose intolerant) so Beatrice is going to just have a wander around the lovely PST. Carol sends Ethan to play tour guide.
At this point they should just include the entire main cast of "Hudson & Rex" and be done with it, including Diesel vom Burgimwald who plays Rex the police dog.
Migawd the setup of the PST is absolutely lovely, but it was shot in Mahone Bay and that place is lovely year round, even if not all fake-decorated for fake-Xmas. Ethan is sweet enough to know Bea needs real coffee, not a candy cane confection, and they grab one BUT also make a run by the famous local bakery for a famous cupcake, where Beatrice is coaxed into The Baking Competition, even though she cannot bake. They also do some maple syrup over snow tasting but Ethan implies its more local flavour, as opposed to Christmasland Experience Flavour. Liar.
Later that evening the ladies dress up to the nines for dinner at the rustic country Inn, which is weird, and not a red dress event at all, but sure. Ethan stays in plaid. They learn that Porter is here "on business" and is rather evasive. Emilia is beginning to suspect he is an actor in on the whole "experience" but is also kind of falling for him.
Later? Next day? One of the troubles I have with these movies is the timing. Events have to jump from set-up to set-up, often only showing us a briefest moment to fill up the entire day. But both "couples" and they are definitely acting all paired-up by now, even with the assumptions of "experience" end up on horse drawn carriage rides (not enough snow for sleighs) with Ethan and Bea ending up at his grandfather's little quaint place. He claims its a small break and he has to do some search for his mom's missing crystal angel ornament (very sweet story how her husband got it for her, and after he died, it inspired her to get out of a depressive funk) but he also mixes in some really romantic-times by playing a slow-dance on the gramophone and getting all close close with Bea.
Next morning! The girls are creeping around discussing how Porter is trying out lines in a mirror so he must be an actor, and Ethan catches them being weird. To claim not-weird, they claim they are trying to find the creakiest door -- totally not weird. Its an actual chuckle moment, "Oh... cool... alright." But now we have to do the baking montage, as Ethan will help Bea out with his Gramma's recipe and they even throw flour at each other during the montage. Again, Christmasland experience or Xmas Magic happening? We are meant to be unsure. Not even the mayor being named Kris makes me think actual Xmas Magic is intended here. And Emilia is tickled pink at how all the tropes are falling into line, even the almost-kiss. Even later, Bea wins the baking competition and Shelley the baker who usually always wins is grumpy. It might all be a setup but Bea is truly falling for Ethan.
Also love the line the Mayor delivers that one of the bakers is "...from Mahone Bay" though the movie is very clear this is in New Hampshire.
And the complication comes around. Ethan's gorgeous Big City Ex shows up trying to rekindle things. Bea catches them mid-hug and now even she is seeing the tropes happening, and thinks she's being conned all along. She's hurt and upset and runs off, where she bumps into Shelley the Baker (Kirstin Howell, Haven) who does admit the whole Bake-off was a setup ("Did you even try your own cookies?") but she also sees that Ethan has been acting "off script" the entire week. Still, Bea is not sure she can trust anything and wants to leave, until she finds the Crystal Angel Ornament and it feels like maybe a little Xmas Magic is happening all on its own. Ethan explains that while he was originally a setup, to "handle the Grinch" (she is the requisite not-invested guest who has to be distracted so the other guests can have the experience) but he truly started to fall for her. They make up and finally kiss and ... will live happily ever after? Who knows, she still has a city job.
The Formulae: Emilia is constantly pointing them out for me, but that the movie starts with them being picked up on the roadside by a handsome hunk in a red truck (alas, not vintage) kicked it off for me. And the rest of the PST is Xmas Overload, which is absolutely delightful. But we got plenty of heart 2 heart moments, plenty of Xmas confection drinks, a carriage ride, a baking contest, a baking montage, an Xmas tree decorating scene (Bea has never decorated a tree before, which is weird, cuz why doesn't Emilia have a tree in their flat?) and a couple of interrupted kiss moments. The fun in the movie is wondering where the line between Christmasland setup blends into actual Holiday Romance Movie magic actually happening. Oh, and there is an actual Business Work Work Work thing going on, but its Porter who is a token Rich Guy here not to buy out something PST related but actually invest in expanding the whole idea of Christmasland. Good thing the experience worked perfectly on him. Ph, and as always, there are plenty of Dead Parents.
Unformulae: There's no job complication, and her job (puff pieces) barely even plays into the movie. They don't get trapped in Christmasland, as there is no flights-cancelling-and-roads-closing snow storm. In fact there is barely any snow in play.
True Calling? I am not quite convinced it does fit the title, as there is very little discussion of the idea of Xmas Magic beyond the meta-textual discussion of Holiday Romance Movie tropes at play. And believing in Christmas is not required to fall foe the tropes.
I also hear the guy at Yonge & Dundas ("BELIEVE !!") every time I read the title.
The Rewind: The Mahone Bay-isms. If you looked closely in the background, you could keep on catching them forgetting to hide a few signs here and there, which claimed very clearly they were in Mahone Bay. Also, in the Inn there is a large painting of Halifax in the lobby.
The Regulars: The director, though this is my first exposure to her, is a mega-Hallmarkie director. Does that count? Meghan Ory has done only a couple, but I love that she also did an episode of Hudson & Rex. Reardon has also only done a few. Meanwhile mononym-ed Lindura, who played roomie Emilia, has done a TON. I don't know why, but I am disappointed that this is Cathy Jones first.
How does it Hallmark? It both provided some fun meta Hallmarkie playing with the tropes but also follow one of my favourite of the patterns, the absolutely lovely PST that dives deep into Xmas. As a romance, the budding affection between Ethan and Beatrice was very believable and the googley eyes surpassed expectations. I think this has hit the mark for me, a best of the season so far. Thanks Kent!
How does it movie? Meh. When I say "I loved this one" its not like I recognize it as a Good Movie, as it isn't. But it is what it is, and while I have admitted in the past to actually MORE enjoying the ones that are so bad, they need to be mocked, I do enjoy the ones where everyone is invested and its actually sweet and it dives DEEP into Xmas.
How Does It Snow? LOL not at all. You can often see melting "ice rink shavings" in the background but for the most part they don't even try, but for one scene outside Ethan's grandfather's place where you can almost see the crew standing on a crane with a wind machine, dumping soap flakes so we can see a blustery day.
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