Xmas Leftovers: There's Something in the Barn

2023, Magnus Martens (TV Good Behaviour) -- download

I never got from Kent's post that this was an actual Norwegian movie, and with all those opening shots and all that real, GLORIOUS snow, I somehow expected more of the movie. I mean, I have more of a tolerance for terrible horrible movies than Kent does, and if he kind of liked it, I thought it would be decent enough? 

No, not really.

Bill Nordheim (Martin Starr, Spider-Man: Homecoming) is Norwegian-American and is bringing his family from California to Norway, to the house he inherited after his uncle passed. They must be really down on their luck to make such a massive move. At first I assumed they were just coming here for Xmas to close up his uncle's affairs, and show the kids where he comes from, but no, they want to start a B&B.

On the land is a barn, and in that barn is a "barn elf", a "Nisser", basically what IKEA has distilled into a gnome. But like all mythos, all is not soft and cuddly and cute; there are rules to be followed when you have a resident elf, and of course, the movie is all about breaking those rules so that we can have the elf go all "don't feed the gremlin after midnight" on the family.

This is a very sloppy, uneven movie, that despite itself, was ... kind of fun? I mean, its not like Gremlins was considered Oscar material in its time, but that is it with the comparisons, because at its heart, Gremlins had heart; this movie does not really. I don't like the family, and while they are not horrible, they are cardboard "family with issues". Teen Daughter, who I couldn't get past her Norwegian accent constantly slipping through, is typical dismissive and cranky, Dad is an oblivious buffoon, Step Mom is annoyingly optimistic, but by design, as she is a life-coach, and the kid is the kid. Meanwhile, the village Norwegians are basically the country's versions of country bumpkins, present only to fill background and die at the hands of the angry elfs. You would think there would be a rule that the elfs are not allowed to harm humans other than who angered them. I mean, if they go around killing willy nilly everytime they get pissed off, you would think there would be professional elf hunters taking out the pesky buggers.

Its a horror movie, so of course there have to be deaths, but mostly its just chase chase chase, with only a few incidental deaths so the family can be dabbed in blood in later scenes. The deaths are not particularly inventive nor do they really try to, but these elfs are not exactly invulnerable supernatural killing machines. A few self inflicted gunshots takes some down and a broom handle makes a nice skewer. For the most part, they are just scary murderous little folk. And, as Kent also said, better to just rewatch Rare Exports and its exploration of Xmas Horror.