T&K's XMas (2024) Advent Calendar: Day 11 - Christmas by Candlelight

2023, Brian K Roberts (A Christmas Letter) -- download

Note: I need to find my "red truck notebook" and begin taking notes again on these movies. They are already starting to jumble up inside my post-flu brain.

Side Note: When starting my write-ups I often look for someone else who has done a review or recap and for some, likely because of a definite lack of interest in the movie, the only sites that post anything are these ultra-Xian pro-family pro-"American Values" sites. I get that Hallmarkies are designed to appeal to a certain American-centric mindset but it almost turns me off to watch a movie that gets a "good review" from these sites. Its not so much as what the movie is about, but more about what the movie decides to leave out that appeals to these sites.

 The Draw: I don't know, I don't remember why I downloaded this one. Its about a candle maker and I am not sure why that would appeal to me. Maybe it got a good review somewhere?

HERstory: There might need to be two versions of this post, one that is family-friendly and one that recounts the running dialogue between The Peanut Gallery and myself once we made the connection between the "lifestyle company" that Female Main Juliet works at and Goop, the lifestyle company started by Gwyneth Paltrow. If you know anything about Goop, you might remember a certain ... candle scent, and since this movie is about candle... scents, well I will stop there as this is the family-friendly version.

Yes, Juliet (Erin Agostino, Murdoch Mysteries) works for a wellness company and sales are not as peak as boss Hilda (Shauna MacDonald, A Nutcracker Christmas) would like so she tasks Juliet with a just-before-Xmas impossible task -- find a small item to drive sales to the website. Juliet has a promotion in mind so if she succeeds at the task, maybe Hilda will consider her for it. So, she puts her Xmas plans (spend the holiday with coworker Lucy [Kimberly-Ann Truong, Take Note] and her family) on hold and begins to work work work. Also, she has by the end of the day to come up with pitch. Hilda is a <word that rhymes with pitch>

She ends up on Queen West (not really, but its shot there) which has transformed over the past few decades from cute quaint shops and grotty businesses catering to the "downtown mindset" to shop after shop of upscale boutique-style places catering to an income bracket far outside my own. She happens across a candle shop that might as well be "Rose's Apothecary" from Schitt's Creek. 

And to answer The Peanut Gallery, no, Noah Reid (Patrick on 'SC') has not been in any Hallmarkie, but I agree, he'd be perfect for them. Hallmarkie Gods, make it happen !!

Anywayz, candleshop run by Tom Turner (Harmon Walsh, Best Christmas Party Ever), and he immediately shoots Juliet down. He had a bad experience with a partnership not so long again and it soured him to Big Evil Corporations like Goop Juliet's place. He probably also doesn't want to make a candle scented like hoo-hah (you said this would be the family friendly post!!). Buuut Juliet still pitches it to Hilda, sans hoo-hah.

Meanwhile Tom has had a heart 2 heart with his sister Maya (Anna Douglas, Workin' Moms), who takes care of his daughter Olive (Eadie Murphy, Designing Christmas) when he isn't available. He needs money; sister says he cannot afford to at least look at the idea, so he swings by Juliet's place and drags her out into The Outside, because that is where he thinks best. He agrees with the idea as long as she buys into his all-natural hand-crafted approach.

Now let's just blow right past the idea that AN ENTIRE LINE of candles cannot be designed and PRODUCED in under two weeks. Unless Tom has a sweatshop hidden under the second storey shop (called "Pure") he cannot possibly make enough candles to sell on a website. But no matter, first we have to get there, as in spend lots of time talking about his creative process, and how he feels about candles, how they are tied to his Dead Wife, how choosing the right scent combinations can elicit memories more powerful than memory, how you can eat homemade sandwiches wrapped in napkins on a park bench in December (!!!), how he never seems to ever actually WORK at his store. But they do it; they montage a candle making session and make The Perfect Seasonal Candle.

Except they cost $150. Even Hilda comments that nobody in their right mind would spend 150 bucks on a fucking scented candle. Well, maybe Goop-heads would, but no matter, as this was supposed to be a small gotcha-item to drive traffic to the website. So Hilda pulls another terrible idea out of her ass -- make cheaper candles, of cheaper ingredients (ingredients? sounds like you eat them... materials?) and with COLOURS ! Tom hates the idea, and it Ruins His Vision. But he cannot ignore the money so he compromises.

Then the big betrayal is dropped. Hilda has drafted a contract that makes it impossible for him to comply. The fine details say he has to produce thousands of candles in the second year, and that is just not reality for him, and if he changes, expands, then he won't be doing the vision of a candle shop that he and his Dead Wife had. He is betrayed, just as he was beginning to fall for Juliet. Not sure why he cannot just Not Sign the Contract, or pull a Hallmarkie standard of knowing someone who knows someone who knows a lawyer, but no, he would rather put on Sad Puppy Face.

The last few days before Xmas is the press conference for the new, already uber popular scented candles (I assume "ginger bread" and "pine tree"; by now I have dialed out) and Tom's heart is just not in it. He really has nothing to say on camera until Juliet pulls her own idea out of her printed-dress covered ass -- that the follow-up line of candles will be produced by another company under Tom's direction; he won't have to be responsible for the el-cheapo knock-offs of his own product. Hilda is way-not-happy but Juliet doesn't care, and the gimmick (candles drive traffic) has been way more successful than they thought it could be, so sure, Juliet gets her way, and convinces Hilda that Tom would have just been a liability anyway. Tom overhears that of course.

But Juliet has one last sneaky sneaky nice nice up her very-tight printed dress sleeve. You see, Tom's mother, Olive's grandmother, couldn't come to Xmas this year because she runs a charity and they lost a major donor and now she has to spend all season focused on said charity. This is an interesting side-comment on Tom's economic bracket -- older women who run charities are always uber-wealthy and usually do it for the whuffie (meow meow beans?) / social credit. Anywayz, Gramma cannot come cuz of money. Sooooo Juliet convinces Hilda to let her choose their company's Big Donation and becomes the donor Gramma needs to come home for Xmas. Ahhh that was sweet Juliet and between that act, and Tom's pushy sister, he forgives her. Now he has his candle deal he can fulfill, which doesn't compromise on his integrity, pays all his debts, actually gave his shoppe some exposure, and none of his candles had to smell like hoo-hah. Happy Happy!

The Formulae:A work work work person assigned an impossible task just before the holidays which puts them in line for a promotion. A small business owner who is not doing so well but still feels the need to put his integrity before moola. And hoo-hah. A Dead Mom. A thin reason so a relative cannot make it home for Xmas. A Xmas Market where Tom and Juliet go to find inspiration, i.e, steal other people's ideas. We do get a montage of candle making that is more the home-hobbier version than someone who runs a shoppe that sells them year round. Toronto pretending to be... Chicago? I forget where the movie's Big City was.

Unformulae: No PST -- it all takes place in The Big City. There is no Xmas Event, so no need to wear an ultra-tight only-red not-printed dress. 

True Calling? There is a brief moment where the power goes out and indeed, they are "by candle light", but its a flimsy attempt to build a scene so the movie's title means something?

The Rewind: Nothing. And to be honest, I am always disappointed by a Hallmarkie that doesn't present me with at least one "oh, look at that!" moment of mockery, but so many of late are so milquetoast they don't even any opportunity to mock. Alas, for this one, we provide our own running gag that is decidedly non-family-friendly all centred around... you guess it... a certain candle scent.

(Can I get a, "HOO HAH !!")

The Regulars: Every single lead in the movie has done at least one other Hallmarkie, but Main Lady has done a ton.

How does it Hallmark? As a Hallmark romance, its pretty by the numbers, but as a Hallmarkie Xmas movie it was severely lacking in Xmas.

How does it movie? Do we ever provide anything for this category?

How Does It Snow? Barely any? Not even enough for me to think about....