2024, d. Ryan Landels - Hallmark/W Network
The Draw: High concept Hallmarkie? Let's go!
(Liveblogging my watch because of time constraints today)
HERstory: The movie opens with flipping through channels before the bumper tells us "You're watching the Harmony Home Network, the channel with the most original holiday movies" and this week is a "Sugarplum" movie marathon of the channel's most popular franchise. But wait! There's a contest to find the most Christmassy house where "Sugarplum" would feel right at home.
Cut to the "real world" where we meet Evelyn who we can tell from her pencil skirt and wine-coloured blouse that she's a busy business woman, plus she's on the phone talking about something important. She has fruitcakes going in the oven and yells for Ben (husband) and Max (son) to get ready. Teen Nina is focusing on her music instead of cleaning her room, and wants to go to the Berklee School of Music instead of the plan mom has set out for her. (Nina is a deadpan, sarcastic redhead of the deadpan, sarcastic redhead variety. See also: Natasha Lyonne, Lauren Ambrose, Sarah Snook, etc).
Ben is working on a miniature model for his boss at the architecture firm. He complains about being micromanaged...by his boss, but it's clear he's getting it at home too. (Ben clearly gravitates towards a certain type a' person...). Teen Max is making dance videos but never posts them. He's not fitting in at school.
Family meeting. The Holiday Checklist: 5 thinks Evelyn mom used to do to make Christmas perfect. She's so "type A" (like this is 2016 all over again), Mom needs everything perfect and plans things out the wazoo, but the family all has their own lives and can't stick to the plan. She wonders "when did this family give up on Christmas".
But just for comparison, we meet neighbour Debra who is even more type A and particular about *everything* and complains to Evelyn (who is tossing out her burned fruitcakes in the garbage can) about "strong smells" like mulled cider and... burned fruitcakes.
At work, Evelyn's assistant is watching Sugarplum movies at her desk, and while mildly annoyed, Evelyn seems to be elated to have someone to talk Sugarplum movies about, and they start discussing the rules of the movies like: every house has to be perfectly decorated, whenever there's a perfect gift for a loved one they always manage to get it, and at the end of the story it's always tied up with a perfect kiss on Christmas Eve. Evelyn's so "type A" she's even too hyperfocussed on discussing Sugarplum movies to the point of annoying her assistant (and probably putting her off of watching Sugarplum movies ever again). What does Evelyn do at this busy office? Not established. What does she ask her assistant to do? Pull her Christmas decoration bins out of storage. You know, work shit.
Evelyn returns home, lamenting about how she wants everything perfect and nothing is ever perfect. Even her assistant basically told her to relax her expectations and give up on the Holiday Checklist. (This is clearly a "lesson movie" where our protagonist has to learn to let go of her standards and just accept (and love) her life for what it is.) Her house, by the way, is open concept and spacious, not cozy and cluttered with Christmas like most Hallmarkies. And the decoration bins were accidentally sent to the office instead of her house. (I guess her beloved assistant isn't great at her job?) So Evelyn, with "a perfectly decorated house" #1 on on her checklist, goes back to the office to pick up the "bins" which turns out to be a large box with no tape on top, or on bottom as it seems (how did it even make it to the office?) and everything spills out. It's a real random assortment of ornamental crap that doesn't seem at all what one would need to make the "perfectly decorated home". She picks up a gold star tree topper which has writing on it that says something about granting a worthy wish.
Suddenly, her assistant's monitor pops up, and it's a "Sugarplum" movie playing. Jess looks at Sugarplum and decides to wish for a more connected family, a magical Christmas like in the movie, one where she checks of every item on her list, and she wishes for a Sugarplum Christmas. The music swells. Nothing happens immediately. She deflates. Then the star starts glowing, the lights in the office start going crazy, the monitor starts flickering, and suddenly Sugarplum pops out of the TV.
Sugarplum is surprised but somewhat unphased by her new surroundings. She asks Evelyn to point her back to her perfect small town of Perfection. Evelyn tells her she's come out of the movie, and Sugarplum says "we're outside the movie? That's not supposed to happen." (Ugh, this movie may have just lost me here...Sugarplum, the character from the holiday TV movies is already aware that she's a TV movie character...that just doesn't work for me conceptually...let's see how it plays out). But learning that Evelyn made a wish on a Christmas star perks her right up... "It's Christmas Magic!" Suddenly she's into it and wants to help Evelyn with the perfect Christmas. "Does the town bakery need saving?"
Evelyn thinks she's having a breakdown. The janitor shows up and can see someone is with Evelyn, but part of the magic is only Evelyn can see she's Sugarplum (you know, from the movies). "Why isn't everything covered in Christmassy snow?" "Because it mostly rains here, like, a lot". (It's Seattle, so, fair). Sugarplum poo-poos the list... but because Sugarplum has a book... a book called "The Rules" ("Rule 142: Flannel is a natural aphrodisiac").
"Rule 61: Whenever a holiday traveler is stranded in a faraway place, they'll be invited to find a harmonious home with new friends." What Sugarplum knows is following the rules leads to a happy ending. So Sugarplum is back at Evelyn's home, under the guise of an old college friend passing through for the holiday Sue Garplum (but sleeping on the couch? I can't believe this is to Sugarplum's satisfaction).
First thing in the morning, Sugarplum has a whole crew decorating the house to the nines like a holiday movie, and the bill, handed to Evelyn is $5300. Sugarplum is shocked that these people aren't just doing it out of the kindness of the holiday spirit. She also doesn't understand sarcasm. Nina is suspicious, but Max likes her (I like you too!). Sugarplum has a plan to cover the cost of the decoration, by pawning a tiara she was given by the Prince of Armstrongia. She has whole bag full of flawless jewellery from all the various princes she met.
Sugarplum is shocked to learn that Evelyn is a big city girl who didn't turn her back on her career to find love in her hometown, and insists on seeing her at work, because she's just never seen the like before. Evelyn, I guess, is a lawyer? And her client is trying to keep her family ski lodge/Christmas tree farm out of the hands of a ruthless developer. And the client (Hallmark regular Fiona Gubelmann) and the developer (Hallmark regular Victor Webster) can't stand each other. Oh, of course this sounds right up Sugarplum's alley. She knows all the rules for this scenario. The fact that she so easily fixes the scenario with the perfect Hallmarkie solution shocks Evelyn, but it also frees her up for the holidays to spend more time with the family. Checklist item #2 done.
Item #3, Christmas shopping, and Sugarplum is into it. But Nina wants limited edition headphones sold out everywhere, and Sugarplum doesn't understand. But they learn there's a competition to win prizes at the store. The competition is all Christmas related like gift wrapping, snowflake making, knitting, gingerbread house decorating, and of course Sugarplum is excessively amazing at all of these and wins the headphones.
Oh and it turns out that the home decorating service entered her home into the Harmony Home Networks' most Christmassy home competition. (Rule 51: When a festive competition is introduced into the story, a fun and winning new perspective on the holidays is guaranteed for all... you know what, I want a copy of this book. Is it at Hallmark stores?).
It's career day at school, and Evelyn was supposed to go to Max's school, but she needs to work on the deal, so Sugarplum subs in. But telling her movie stories starts embarrassing Max in front of the class (especially the girl he likes). But she gets him to shake the magical snow globe Santa gave her and it snows inside the school. The kids have a snowball fight indoors, and suddenly the girl he likes is impressed with him.
[Omigard, fast forwarding as this is only the halfway point]
Nina wants to talk about her Berklee scholarship application, but Evelyn pushes her off to talk about getting selected as a finalist for the most Christmassy home. All the perfect things Sugarplum start going awry just as Evelyn is starting to embrace the rules ...like Sugarplum gets arrested for "vandalizing" the school in "a snow-related incident". And it's all because Evelyn is paying attention to "the perfect Christmas" instead of her family's needs.
Evelyn turns up as Sugarplum's lawyer and despite being a contract lawyer it seems she keeps up on the criminal code and other laws. She has Sugarplum released into her custody (her fingerprints are snowflakes). Ben has his project due date updated to Christmas Eve, Max is suspended from school, and Nina is not happy with mom, feeling ignored.
"The Rules" are backfiring. The Christmas magic is fading. Sugarplum is in huge, huge trouble...and not the legal kind. This is a Frosty is melting kind of scenario.
But maybe reinvigorating the magic is finishing the Holiday Checklist, and #5 is making a memory as a family. Evelyn thinks this needs to winning the TV competition...but Sugarplum is unsure that this is the right approach. Max wants Christmas Eve traditional eggnog, and Nina is anxious about her performance which is happening right after the broadcast and Ben is stressed about work...and all Evelyn is focusing on is the competition. Everyone turns on Evelyn's plan for "a perfect Christmas" and maybe it's finally clear to her that she's, quite literally, lost the plot.
Evelyn has kind of gotten everything she wished for, but it was all for her, and not for her family. Sugarplum advises letting this Christmas be "perfectly imperfect". Evelyn sends the TV crew home and races to Nina's pageant, where Nina's freaking out because the Berklee admissions officer is in the audience? It's up to Mom to finally encourage her daughter instead of holding her back. Evelyn also tells Ben that she's going to live in the moment and needs Ben to live in the moment too. Just then his boss shows up (yes at the school), but Ben gives him a stern talking to and threatens to quit if he doesn't get more time with his family. Nina's performance is a peppy poppy and upbeat tune (if a little generic) and she gets a standing ovation.
Ben's boss turns up at the house and has had a change of heart, and all the storylines have come together with a happy ending. Sugarplum has to return to Perfection, but with lessons learned from being with Evelyn and family, that maybe it's the imperfections that make the perfect Christmas.
Evelyn and Ben have a "mistletoe moment" that Christmas Eve kiss, and the family sit down to watch a Sugarplum movie...only for Ben to ask... "Is it just me, or does Sugarplum look...a little familiar...?"
The Formulae: It's constantly talking about "The Rules" and showing "The Rules" in action (even if it only covers a fraction of a book which contains hundreds of rules).
Unformulae: Well, "The Rules" start falling apart, but they need to fall apart in order to come together.
True Calling? "Sugarplummed" feels like Hallmark trying to force a phrase into the lexicon. It means nothing until you watch the movie, but once you know what Sugarplum is, it does make sense, even if Sugarplum is a horrible name even for a Hallmarkie-within-a-Hallmarkie character (the preciousness gets more intense the more Meta things get).
The Rewind: Every time they cut to "The Rules", the character always reads one page, but there's a second page on screen they don't read, so the rewind is to see some of the other Rules not employed in the film.
The Regulars:
Maggie Lawson (Psych) is Evelyn, and is a Hallmark regular including a veteran of the Christmas In Evergreen series.
Janel Parrish (To All The Boys...) is Sugarplum, and is also a Hallmark regular, including Never Been Chris'd.
Brendon Zub is Ben, and he's been all over the holiday romances (Hallmark and Lifetime) and not just the Christmas ones.
Plus the aforementioned cameos by Hallmark superstars Fiona Gubelmann and Victor Webster having their own intoned cliche holiday romance in the very far backdrop of this film.
This is writer-director Landels' second Hallmark, after Santa Tell Me. I think this guy has the juice for making vaguely meta-but-not-too-meta Xmas fantasy movies. Hope to see more.
How does it Hallmark? This honestly doesn't feel like a Hallmark movie at all. Hallmark has deviated so far from the formulaic "holiday romance" over the past few years that now they're just kind of making legit "Christmas magic" movies that play in their own space without needing to adhere to "holiday romance" tropes. For a meta holiday movie, this one swings away from the romance and instead focuses on, as predicted, teaching a lesson to the main character.
How does it movie? Honestly, this felt like an old-fashioned, pre-Hallmarkie Christmas movie. It's not theatrical grade, but it stands up with the more enjoyable fantasy TV Christmas movies pretty well. It's charming, well-acted and it turns out I flat out loved "The Rules" as a storytelling device. There's a total Mary Poppins vibe to Sugarplum and even though her movies-within-the-movie character is of the "holiday romance" persuasion, she adapts quickly to the scenario at hand and is ready to help. She's even got a bag of holding within which contains multiple wardrobes, countless precious jewels and more. I could see this being a franchise movie where Sugarplum is called out to help in all different sorts of Christmas movie scenarios. I figure the third film would focus on Sugarplum herself with things going wrong within her own world.
As noted, I was worried the meta-ness of the story would wear on me. The last movie I recapped, A Hollywood Christmas, was a more-of-the-same meta-holiday romance, and to be frank I'm kind of tired of that subgenre. But this type of meta-as-Christmas-magic really works for me and it stands out from the pack. It's not transcending anything, really, but it was quite enjoyable. I do wish it were funnier, but Hallmark, generally, has a hard time with comedy.
How Does It Snow? It's Seattle, so it rains (I'm guessing it was shot in the springtime, given the sunnier scenes are real sunny). But the magical snow globe makes it snow indoors, twice.
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