3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): Superman

2025, James Gunn (Super) -- download

Well, I freaking loved that.

Like Kent, I wanted more, but unlike Kent I was not disappointed nor dissatisfied with what I got. After all, I was never a discerning Superman fan, and I was most definitely not a great fan of the Christopher Reeves movies, maybe just hints of childhood nostalgia. I was conversely  hugely disappointed with Man of Steel (wow, actually, only, three paragraphs) and therefore, not surprised I liked this movie more than any other previous cinematic version. It was already assumed, as a fan of Gunn, I would automatically like it, but.... wow, I really loved it. I had so much fun, I grinned during so many scenes, even the eye-rolling comic booky ones.

So, having not seen this in the cinema, and having already asked Kent (F2F) to go out of bounds from his post, I was going in with more or less a tempered expectation. I wasn't sure how I was going to feel about being dropped into an existing superhero world, one where we get zero explainer. Its not like I am unfamiliar with the Superman world, but considering Mr. Terrific takes majorly front seat in this movie, and I have a barely passing knowledge of him, I was wondering if I might be feeling overwhelmed. 

Nope. It all worked.

The movie begins with Superman's (David Corenswet, Twisters) first defeat of his career, being battered bloody by The Hammer of Boravia, the metahuman response to Superman's interference in the affairs of Boravia, after she tried to invade the lesser developed Jarhanpur. I am assuming a single punch sent him half way round the world to smash into the snows. Supes whistles for his dog and Krypto comes running, little red cape and all. Krypto is not a Good Dog -- he bounces on the injured Superman probably cracking a few ribs, before the barely conscious man convinces the dog to take him home. Home is the Fortress of Solitude which rises from the snow & ice of Antarctica, where Superman is welcomed by his robots, little capes and all. The robots help him heal by the light of the yellow sun.

Of course, Alan Tudyk voices one of the robots.

The Hammer flies into a trans-dimensional portal, which leads him to Lex Luthor's lair, because, of course, Luthor (Nicholous Hoult, Nosferatu) is behind this. Also, Luthor's henchmen, The Engineer (Angela Sarafyan, G20), tries to follow Superman into the Fortress, just as it is swallowed up by the ice again. How vexing for Lex!

All healed up, Superman flies back to Metropolis, where we meet the Daily Planet and Lois (Rachel Brosnahan, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel), and he puts on the glasses to become Clark Kent, the man nobody ever recognizes as Superman, and also the reporter who always seems to have a Superman interview, and also.... whoah, didn't see that coming, Lois's boyfriend. She knows he is Superman. She also is rather hard on the poor fellow about his political interventions, playing more than just a Devil's Advocate against what he saw as just Doing the Right Thing. Clark / Superman is more than a little annoyed she doesn't see it that way. They almost break up.

Hmmm. This is the age old commentary on superhero antics -- what gives these super powered yahoos the right to stick their nose into human affairs? Sure, everyone appreciates them stopping super villains, and evil alien invasions, and giant monster attacks, but when they interrupt purely human on human political agendas, is that crossing a line? There are some whiffs of Gunn's making political commentary here, without the movie actually saying anything concrete -- but someone has to stand up for What is Right.

There are also whiffs of social media and bot / troll generated outrage against Superman and his woke agenda.

Next, KAIJU FIGHT ! Lex needs Superman distracted so he tosses a lil cootie patootie creature into Metropolis which, just add water, becomes a colossal monster. That allows The Engineer (Angela) and Lex, and the mysterious Ultraman (who was also pretending to be The Hammer of Boravia) to break into The Fortress of Solitude, make quick work of the robots, take down Krypto (they hurt the puppy?!?!?!) and hack Superman's crystal computer, capturing an incomplete message from Kal-El's Dad Jor-El (Bradley Cooper, The A-Team). That can't be good. Back in Metropolis, Superman battles the kaiju with the help of a trio of other superheroes, officially unnamed but monikered by Green Lantern (the douchey version, aka Guy Gardner; Nathan Fillion, The Rookie) as "The Justice Gang". While Superman saves people, dogs and squirrels from being crushed by falling buildings and monster feet, he wants to stop the creature without killing it. But the Gang is more practical, much to his consternation, and they kill it. 

I wonder where they store dead kaiju, and whether Hannibal Chau helps.

So, not a political agenda based battle, and he saved squirrels, so should be an easy win on social media, no? No. Lex has translated Jor-El's lost message and (yoink; pull at collar uncomfortably) apparently Krypton Wanted Earth Women. Yeah, they may have tasked The Last Son of Krypton to come to Earth and be a shining example to the measly human beings, but part of that "shining example" was taking over and having a harem. Lex's real superpower, that of completely mastering negative publicity, takes over the hearts & minds of Metropolis, just like that scene in Spider-Man: No Way Home where someone splashes green paint all over Peter. Its an unrealistic turn of events, and yet given the world we currently (mid-2025 folks) live in, where people are accepting utter ridiculous, downright evil, situations as normal, its not entirely implausible. 

Things go from bad to worse (I just read that Elmore Leonard demands you never use that phrase; I suspect he would cringe at most of my idiom laden writing), when Supes turns himself into the US Govt and they hand him over to Luthor for incarceration, who just happens to have a pocket dimension populated with anyone who has annoyed him: ex-girlfriends, ex-employees, meta-humans he couldn't control and failed experiments. Its like the storage facility from The Cabin in the Woods but morally worse; fewer literal monsters. Clark is controlled by Metamorpho (Anthony Carrigan, Barry), a meta-human who can assume the shape of any material, including Kryptonite. In turn, Metamorpho is compelled because they have his infant son. To drive home the point of Superman's helplessness, Lex murders one of his most avid admirers, an average Joe named Malik Ali (Dinesh Thyagarajan, Good Egg), in front of him. That cements it for Metamorpho and he engineers Superman's escape. Meanwhile, on the other side of the dimensional portal Lois has convinced Mr. Terrific (Edi Gathegi, Twilight) to help and they appear just in time to help the heavily weakened, but by no means down for the count, Superman.

OK, you are pushing the envelope now, on cliches, and [DAMMIT] you've got me doing it.

Terrific Lois ("DC Comics Presents") takes the slowly recovering Superman to his parents. Not his birth parents, obviously, but the Salt of the Earth adoptive parents: Martha & Jonathan Kent in rural Smallville, Kansas. These are the people who raised him, who imbued upon him a sense of right & wrong, who gave him his moral compass and established what he should do with his powers. But Pa Kent (aka Mush) reminds Clark that it was not his birth parents' message, not even their upbringing that made him what he is, but it was his choices. He chose to become a red & blue suited superhero who goes out every day to save people.

We love these Kents. No "Man of Steel" tragedy, no difficult choices, just a couple of down to earth loving, supportive people. But then again, we are biased in favour of Kents.

So, Superman has escaped and Lex is incensed, utterly enraged, and decides his best course of action is to sacrifice Metropolis by allowing his dimensional rift to start tearing the city in half. Even his cadre of loyal henchmen (who ARE these fucks anywayz; how can so many people be so complicit.... <looks southward> ... nevermind) are not convinced this is a good idea, as an unfettered dimensional rift will eventually want to eat up the entire city, planet, solar system, etc. But Lex knows that this will draw back Superman from where ever he is hiding. And probably because he just likes doing evil shit.

I am realizing, that I might be out of practice in doing these long winded, entirely unnecessary recaps, as its just not capture the "fun" of the movie. For example, no mention of Metamorpho becoming an acid, splashing the Raptors and presumably killing them. Great scene! Also, the social media troll monkeys. THE MONKEYS EXPLAIN OUR WORLD !!!

Meanwhile Eve (Sara Sampaio, Wife Like), Luthor's current vacuous social media obsessed girlfriend, is secretly in love with Jimmy Olsen ([!?!??!] Skyler Gisondo, Santa Clarita Diet) and willing to provide him evidence against Lex as long as they can hang all weekend. Alas, all the dirt that Lois requires for a pro-Superman anti-Lex story is behind the scenes in Eve's endless stream of selfies. I am not convinced telling the world some rather simplistic "Lex wants to run a country" fact would turn the tide of public support, considering his army of monkeys at keyboards.

While Superman punches it out with Ultraman, before tossing the clone of himself (!!!) into a black hole and flying back to Lex Corps to actually close the rift, the Justice Gang head to the Boravian border to deal with the once-again-invading army. Apparently the moral quandary of interfering with other country's affairs doesn't apply to them, but they probably don't care, and the world doesn't care as they are non-alien vigilantes. And murderers; Hawkgirl (Isabela Merced, The Last of Us) just drops the Boravian Prime Minister Ghurkos (Zlatko Buric, 2012) from a great height. More Gang than Justice. Metropolis is saved, Jarhanpur is saved, Superman's reputation is restored and Lex is arrested. Oh, and his prison is emptied. We end off the movie with a cameo from a drunken Supergirl.

I agree with Kent; there is sooooo much in this movie, it is almost overstuffed, but by taking the four-colour stripped down behavioural approach, Gunn has made the movie so utterly rollicking that you don't care if things don't always make entire sense. But even as he stuffs the movie to bursting with Big Details, he still has so many fun little details, like Malik Ali helping Superman out of a hole, or Superman saving a squirrel, or how he catches a falling building with his hands (it should just collapse around him, unless he spreads his gravitic flying power across the building's entire surface), or even utter mundane things like Lois parked in the roundabout outside the massive sprawling, and seemingly mostly empty Hall of Justice. I just enjoyed so much about the movie.

I think I need to go back for a rewatch already.

KWIF: Superman (+2)

KWIF=Kent's Week in Film.

This Week:
Superman (2025, d. James Gunn - in theatre)
Raising Arizona (1987, d. Joel Cohen - hollywoodsuite)
The Awful Truth (1937, d. Leo McCarey - hollywoodsuite) 

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Superman is exactly the type of comic book movie I dreamed about all through the 1980s and 1990s, one that just drops you in the middle of an active superhero universe, assumes you already have a basic foundation on who these characters are, and goes from there. And boy does Superman go.

It's a lively, adventuresome, superheroic comic book of a movie, and yet I didn't leave completely satisfied. My whole family came out buzzing, having really, really enjoyed the film quite thoroughly, but I couldn't exactly match their energy. I wanted to love James Gunn's Superman, but I don't. I like it quite a bit but there's something holding me back.

This is, without a doubt, my favourite Superman movie, but then I never really cared for any of the others despite being a lifelong Superman fan (the familial surname in common kind of made it mandatory). David Corenswet is a great Superman, doing all the things I wish we'd been able to see Christopher Reeves or Henry Cavill do, both action wise and in a legit superhero universe. Corenswet's Clark is almost indistinguishable from his Superman, which may be the point, or maybe it's that there's not much time for Clark Kent in this film. This is the pure-hearted, people-first, happy-to-help Superman I grew up loving. There's no mopey Superman with a messiah complex here. Also, Gunn, in dodging past the character's origin story, minimizes the burden of Krypton, and, in fact, finds a jettison point so that it doesn't really ever have to be dealt with in this new DC cinematic universe again (despite Bradley Cooper being cast as Jor-El in an unglorified cameo).

Rachel Brosnahan is an incredible Lois Lane, I fell in love with her instantly...and she doesn't get rescued by Superman once this film but still feels integral. Incredible. She's also not fixated on Superman, not in the slightest. She's likes the lug but the world's too be a place to keep Lois' attention in one spot.

Nicholas Hoult's Lex Luthor is an evil slimy supergenius billionaire. We don't have any of those in real life (most of our evil slimy billionaires aren't geniuses) so Hoult is drawing from something other than just the real world. Plus his motivation this time is envy, jealousy, and pure hate (there's still a land scheme of sorts on top of everything though, as is tradition).

I could fill another dozen paragraphs talking about the rest of the cast, including the Justice Gang (Edi Gathegi's Mr. Terrific lives up to the name, while I don't think there's been a more note perfect page-to-screen translation of a Superhero than Nathan Fillion's Guy Gardner [iykyk]), the Daily Planet crew, Luthor's henchpersons, Clark's family, the Superman Robots, and, of course, Krypto.

It is a very well-stocked movie. It has a very large assembly of characters, and it moves fast. I thought at first that, perhaps, Superman was overstuffed, that there's too much going on, with too many characters. But that's not true. I never had a hard time tracking what was happening or why or to whom, and I was never unclear on character motivations. No, what I was thinking was "overstuffed" was actually me just wishing for more time with these characters, more time with this story, and more time in this world.

This is compressed storytelling. In the comic book realm, it used to be you would pick up a single superhero comic book issue, you would get a complete story. The 1980's really started serializing comics like long running soap operas, and by the 2000s the industry had basically solidified the five-or-six issue storyarc as the norm which has sustained ever since. "Decompressed" storytelling they called it.

I want Superman to be decompressed. I want more time with Lois and Clark and how things weigh on their relationship. I want more Daily Planet bullpen banter. I want Lex to really stoke the flames of public outrage against Superman, I want Clark and Lois to have more time with Ma and Pa Kent, I want more time at the Hall of Justice...I just want more of all of this and I feel let down that I don't have it.... that I just have this highly entertaining 129 minute film that is at once a filling meal that still makes me want more. This film, despite being part of a superhero universe, is self-contained. It's not setting up anything beyond the immediate story. 

Compared to other Superman films, the weakest point is the music. James Gunn is so used to constructing his movies around a soundtrack, and here he's opted for, mostly, an original score, but it just doesn't have the same delicious bite or synergy like the Guardians of the Galaxy trilogy or Suicide Squad. It's not terrible but I did find the score drawing my attention away from the events on screen from time to time, and not for positive reasons.

In some ways, Superman feels very experimental. It isn't following the rules that its predecessor superhero movies have followed, and it places itself into a reality the one could call escapist. It's a film where a guy in a cape and underwear on the outside has superhero pals and an unruly dog in a cape. Hard to mistake that for the real world. 

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In my teenage years as a budding cinephile, I watched Raising Arizona and, quite specifically, did. not. get it. It was one of those films that came highly recommended and critically lauded that completely went over my head.

Coen Bros. films can be like that. I remember coming out of The Big Lebowski having had an absolutely miserable time, only to fall deeply in love with it upon repeat viewings. My second viewing of Raising Arizona, a decade later, didn't go any better than the first. I don't think I've ever done a Coen Bros. ranking, but if I did, it would have remained in the bottom of my Coen Bros. rankings since that first viewing. 

I'm a more wizened film viewer now, with quite the affinity for most of the Coens repertoire, so surely this latest viewing of Raising Arizona will yield the dividends I always expected. 

Which it did. But...

I still didn't like it. I understood it this time, but I don't think it works. I feels like the prototype for a Coen Bros. movie. The basic tone and sensibilities, the small-stakes crime, the comedy and sentimentality are all there, but they're just not hitting the rhythms the way they would in their later films. 

I liked Nic Cage's H.I., a compulsive robber of convenience stores (with an unloaded weapon) who just keeps rotating through the local prison's revolving door. During every turn of the door, he finds time with Holly Hunter's Ed, a police officer whose main duty seems to be mugshot photos and fingerprint stamping. They fall in love and get married. H.I. goes straight and gets a job and things are good, until they find out they can't have kids and H.I.'s criminal record keeps them from legally adopting. Ed gets depressed, quits her job, and the joys in their life diminish.  And then local furniture magnate Nathan Arizona (Trey Wilson) has quintuplets and, according to one newspaper report, claims it's too much to handle. So Ed and H.I. get it into their mind to abduct one of the babies.

As a premise for a crime caper, the script does a fairly good job at showing us just how desperate Ed and H.I. are for a baby, and yet I still don't buy that anyone without a serious mental illness, would steal another person's child. The premise fundamentally doesn't work for me. It's a different story if they find the baby, become attached and fight through their guilt and jump through hurdles to try and keep it, but to proactively go out and steal a child is a big fucking ask that I just can't get behind.

There's a slapsticky sequence with H.I. in the quints' room trying not to make noise and negotiating all the babies as they quickly become too much for him to handle. This is still early in the Coens career (not far off from scripting the live-action cartoon that was Crimewave with Sam Raimi) so their comedic tone still owes a debt to Looney Tunes, something they wind up grounding a lot more in their later movies. It's so close to working here but can't quite grasp it, which is so much of the film for me.

Just as the new family unit is trying to cohere, H.I. and Ed are paid a visit by Gale (John Goodman) and Eville (William Forsythe), H.I.'s friends from prison who have just busted out and are on the lam. They start to ride H.I. about his straight-and-narrow ways, posing that tired-even-by-1980's-standards cliched question of "who wears the pants in the relationship". One thing leads to another and the film descends into a third act clusterfuck of people angling for the baby, including a bounty hunter H.I. envisions comes straight from hell (played, of course, by Randall "Tex" Cobb).

The third act, where everything falls apart in madcap fashion, should be a triumph, and there's glimmers of the Coen Bros. genius that's to come, but it doesn't all congeal. For instance, the fourth party, H.I.'s former boss, should really be in the baby-grabbing mix during this final act. But Goodman and Forsythe's part in it all is so good, I wish we had been following their characters all along instead.

The film's resolution is poppycock. It's the correct emotional payoff, and the Coens do their damnedest to get away from the Hollywood happy ending, but the scenario, just like at the start, finishes with a suspension of disbelief I can't buy into.

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I often think of films from the 1930s and 40s as being primitive, of their time, puritanical, having little to offer in a modern context. And so I tend to avoid them, even though my experience with films from the era have proven that, hey, adults made some of these things, smart adults with skill and talent and vision. Just because they were beholden to certain standards of "social decency" doesn't mean they can't be entertaining, insightful or artistic. I think I continue to avoid golden age of Hollywood movies because I really don't want to have to wade through the dreck, the studio films that were churned out as the "content" of the era. I need to basically trust the consensus on what the good ones of the era are, but I naturally distrust the consensus. It's a burden.

After watching The Awful Truth, I feel a much stronger desire to watch more screwball comedies of the era, particularly those starring Carey Grant. If you've seen a Carey Grant comedy, you know why. The man is a gifted comedic performer with wonderfully understated physical gestures and facial muggings that can accentuate an already delightful script (and no doubt save a film with a less than punchy one).

The premise here finds Jerry Warriner (Grant) coming home from a trip away to an empty house, only to have guests arrive with no hostess. When Lucy (Irene Dunne) finally shows up, she's escorted by a swarthy Frenchman who proclaims to be her voice coach. They were waylaid overnight by car issues. The suspicion is immediate, Jerry doesn't trust a word his wife or this Frenchman say, but it's probably because he knows he's been lying himself, having told his wife he went to Florida but brought home a basket of California oranges. The distrust in the marriage going both ways leads to a big blow-up and divorce court (with custody of their beloved mutt Mr. Smith a heated part of the battle).

They have to have a 60 day trial separation before the divorce is finalized. Lucy moves in with her aunt who introduced her to the neighbour, an Oklahoma oilman named Dan with a slow drawl and dim sense of humour. Dan falls in love with Lucy instantly, and Lucy mainly plays along knowing it will drive Jerry crazy, which it does, but Jerry's sabotage leads Lucy to realize she still loves him and the short engagement is called off, but Jerry is likewise moving on.

A short time later, Jerry is seen with a debutante and Lucy is envious. With only days to go before their divorce is final, Lucy insinuates herself in Jerry's life, and interferes in his budding relationship by posing as his sister.

Things explode, they reset, they explode again, and eventually after a few of these cycles, there's the expected resolution of Jerry and Lucy rekindling their partnership, and it's a pretty delightful ride, if a wonky and lopsided one.

To start, Lucy's suspected infidelity is paid a disproportionate amount of attention compared to Jerry's, which is brought up in the opening moments of the film, and really, never again. The first act of the film introduces the couple, breaks them up and establishes their not-so-bitter trial bitter divorce. The second act is all about Lucy's relationship with Dan, Jerry's interference, and bringing back the French vocal coach (to an incredibly funny denouement). The third act then has to wrestle with Jerry's new love interest, Lucy getting in the way and then contriving a scenario that will pull Lucy and Jerry together again.

It's this final act that needs more breathing room and doesn't fully work. Lucy's "drunk sister" routine is incredible (Dunne is every bit as gifted as Grant is comedically, and maybe even more) but following that sequence, it's a pretty contrived situation that leads to some unusually quiet romantic tension and just the itsiest bit of bedroom smouldering that calls for some sexiness from the leads but (given the times) isn't allowed to get there.

By and large, though, The Awful Truth is a romp, a bustling good time with a scene-stealing dog and hilarious dialgoue and delightful characters. I do need to see more of these from the era.

KWIF: Thunderbolts* (+1)

 KWIF=Kent's Week in Film. Some weeks are more fruitful than others. Some weeks are just a full kick in the fruits.

This Week:
Thunderbolts* (2025, d. Jake Schrier - in theatre)
Superman: The Movie (1978, d. Richard Donner - DVD)

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We're all aware (every single last damn one of us) that the Marvel Studios' output post Avengers:Endgame has not felt nearly as exciting as the 10 years that led into it. It was a pretty monumental achievement up to that point, building up a shared universe and a roster of beloved characters leading into an epic two-part event that gave a pretty satisfying sense of closure to the whole thing, even as it teased that it would be carrying on.  In their hubris, the studio thought they could just do it all again, build up a new roster of favourite heroes and build towards something epic once again. But they weren't banking on a few things... the pandemic, the streaming wars, and superhero fatigue (as well as a certain someone being arrested for assaulting his girlfriend) all collided, contributing to softened (or obliterated ) box office attendance.

"Phase 4" of Marvel was overconfident in its plans and the audience's appetite for them. Seven films, eight Disney+ series, and two specials felt like a bombardment even to the avid fan, and to some, it seemed too much like homework, despite maintaining a generally high-level of quality. "Phase 5" has been Marvel's wobbliest because of late stage course corrections and casting shake-ups, but also because it's stories been so utterly reliant on what has come before.

Quantumania required you to have watched prior Ant-Man movies as well as Loki season one. Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 3 was the third in a trilogy but also needed you to recall the events of Infinity War. The Marvels had the Captain Marvel movie as well as the Ms. Marvel, and Wandavision streaming series all as pre-requisites. Deadpool and Wolverine  assumed you were familiar with the majority of the Marvel output from Fox. The latest Captain America sequel asked its audience to recollect the events of the much ignored 2008 Incredible Hulk film as well as the Disney+ Falcon and the Winter Soldier show. Marvel effectively leaned in to whisper in its audience ear and dare them to keep up, not realizing that they seemed to be turning people off as much as they were turning them on.

Thunderbolts* is not immune. It stars characters previously introduced in Black Widow, Falcon and the Winter Soldier, and 2018's Ant-Man and the Wasp, but the difference is it doesn't fully rely upon you having seen those pictures to understand the characters... well, most of them.  

At the center of the picture is Black Widow Yelena Belova (Florence Pugh). What you need to know about her is her sister died, and she's been depressed. She feels aimless and disengaged from the world, and is looking for meaning and connection. She reaches out to her estranged father Alexei Shostakov "The Red Guardian" (David Harbour), whose pep talks leave something to be desired. She's working black ops cleanup for a horrible woman,  Valentina Allegra de Fontaine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), the CIA Director who facing a senate impeachment trial (revolving around the illegal activities she has Yelena cleaning up). Yelena wants a change.

On her next assignment, Yelena is sent to take out a rogue operative, "The Ghost" Ava Starr (Hannah John Kamen), only to face off against one-time Captain America John Walker (Wyatt Russell) who is there to kill her, and then the Taskmaster shows up to kill John while The Ghost is there to eliminate Taskmaster. As they melee they begin to realize they've been played and find themselves in Valentina's deathtrap, and must rely upon each other to escape...along with test subject Bob (Lewis Pullman) who is awakened from his containment chamber.

Rescued from their predicament by Sergei and Senator Bucky Barnes (Sebastian Stan) they form an unlikely alliance to take down Valentina, only to find out that the experiment done on Bob has turned him into an unbeatable "super-man", who Valentina wants to use as the ultimate weapon for ultimate control, only Bob has a darker side that comes out and it could threaten everything.

Yelena's not the only one unsatisfied with her life. The film nimbly uses Bob's psychic abilities and his darker half to provide insight into some of the other characters' dark states.  Bob's history as well is one of trauma, substance abuse and bipolar disorder. 

I was not expecting a Marvel film to center so specifically around depression like the Thunderbolts* does, addressing it from the first impactful moment. It's a story about a group of people looking for a way out of the darkness and looking for purpose and finding at least something to grab onto, which is, in part, each other.

This is Yelena's movie.  Even though it is a ensemble picture, Florence Pugh is clearly the star. Marvel chose wisely in putting her front-and-center. Pugh is one of the best actors under 30 working today. She is one of the most emotive people on screen, her expressive face can convey joy, pathos, fear, whatever better than almost any other performer. She's an absolute powerhouse in a tiny body.  I believe a Marvel movie has only ever once brought me to tears (Peter's dusting in Infinity War) but I teared up three times in Thunderbolts*, all of them triggered by Pugh's performance.

Harbour is big and brash and loud comic relief as the over-eager, self-aggrandizing Red Guardian, which can be a lot but thankfully is in mostly the right dosage in this ensemble. Louis-Dreyfus delivers both a funny and boo-hiss worthy performance, while Stan provides the stabilizing backing board to the whole piece, making it feel very integrated with the MCU just from his presence. Russell's John Walker was a pretty difficult pill to swallow in Falcon and the Winter Soldier, but here navigates between light and dark much more nimbly, and showing real big screen presence without stepping outside of the character.  Hannah John Kamen's Ghost is perhaps the most underserved character in the film (next to Olga Kurylenko's Taskmaster) but her presence in the ensemble is welcome.  Louis Pullman's Bob has probably the most difficult job, being the only first appearance character of the bunch, and he navigate Bob's multiple personality disorder tremendously well...from his nearly hapless civilian to the above-it-all Sentry to the scary-as-hell Void.  Seriously, the Void is probably the scariest villain Marvel has introduced yet.

There is a climactic sequence in the third act in which Yelena, Bob and the team have to confront a manifestation of trauma, and if the film let me down at all it was in not exploring the traumas of every Thunderbolt in the film... I don't think it would have eaten up much time but it certainly would have provided more insight into the secondary and tertiary characters.

Thunderbolts* has been well received because it's a Marvel movie that puts its characters at the centre and lets the situation build around them, rather than building a team only to have them stop a tangential enemy. It's confidently scripted to be self-contained and not aggressively easter-egging the audience or distracting them with set up that's going to pay off in some other film some other time.  Yes, there is a post-credits sequence teasing something more, but it does so in a way that deftly extends the film at hand and doesn't feel like a random aside. 

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Richard Donner's 1978 production of Superman is a minor miracle in its own right. So many things could have gone wrong (and many things did go wrong) but a lot of things went very very right, starting with the casting of Christopher Reeve as Clark Kent/Superman. Reeve's very gifted physical performance distinguishing Clark from Superman is the best special effects in a film full of them. Reeve gives Clark a clumsiness that just borders on slapstick without teetering over into it. His tall, broad-shouldered, beefed-up frame, in Clark's drab suit, oversized glasses and greasy combover turn a beautiful specimen of a man into a slouching, slumping, oafish character that not only do you not want to make eye contact with, but you wish to actively forget about him.

Thus stems the conflict of Clark's love triangle with Lois and his superheroic alter-ego... he's too good at making himself invisible, whereas Superman's putting it all out there and Lois is completely ready and willing to take it all in. Superman's penthouse apartment rendezvous with Lois, leading to a heavily flirtatious interview, is the best scene in this movie, and it establishes a real connection between the two characters. Unfortunately the film does not pay off this connection, and actively separates the two characters for most of the third act.  It should also be noted that the two only meet in the second act of the film, as the first act is split in two parts, one on Krypton and one in Smallville, both dealing more with Kal-El/Clark/Superman's parents than with the character himself.

The first 40 minutes of this quite bloated movie is spent on establishing Superman's backstory, his lore, and it's all quite decently told (I like the Krypton piece quite a bit, Marlon Brando's Jor-El is a commanding screen presence, even if the actor was kind of checked out and reading his lines off screen). The second act establishing Metropolis, the Daily Planet, Superman's supporting characters and his nemesis Lex Luthor (Gene Hackman) is the meat of the movie.

It all slumps pretty direly in the third act as it sets off on the journey of enacting Luthor's land-grab plot, which involves a complex scheme to trigger the collapse of the San Andreas Fault. Surely in hatching his scheme a do-gooder such as Superman would get in the way, so Lex figures out how to stop him and hatches another elaborate scheme to eliminate his problem, with Kryptonite.

The third act is all shenanigans, as Luthor executes his schemes, and the result is Clark disappears, Lois is off on her own, and everything is set outside of Metropolis. It culminates in Superman saving the day, of course, but Lois is killed in the process...so Superman flies as fast as he can reversing the rotation of the Earth which turns back time so he can save Lois. No, I'm not sure how it works either.

Despite being a Superman fan as long as I can remember, I've not only never loved this movie but I've never even really liked it. The opening segments on Krypton and in Smallville could be truncated or even eliminated altogether. The film only really feels like it starts when Clark enters the Daily Planet building, and then screeches pretty much to a dead halt once it tries to establish a plot.  

I hate the spoken word poem Lois recites when she is flying with Superman, I don't much like Luthor's bumbling henchman Otis (Ned Beatty) and the logic of this film's turning back time has always drove me crazy.

There are parts of Superman: The Movie I like, but generally I find it pretty tedious and it's never been what I've been looking for in a Superman movie. I've yet to get a Superman movie that delivers what I want out of a Superman movie, which is for it to feel like a good story from the comics. It seems like directors and the studio are always too afraid to do that.

3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom

2023, James Wan (M3GAN) -- download

My viewing of this movie sort of mirrors my write-up of the first movie, in that I was compelled to rewatch Aquaman to remind myself of the story, but I didn't. Maybe I should have, for at least, according to the writeup, I was somewhat entertained by the first. I am not even sure I was entertained by this one. I just didn't like very much of it, and to entirely contradict my opinion during the first, I did not like (at all) how Jason-Momoa everything was here. Maybe I am getting deeper into my Cranky Old Man phase of life, but fuck, he was annoying.

As for needing to rewatch, that's alright cuz they do a decent recap at the beginning of this movie. For people like me, I gather, who only saw it once and don't recall a fucking thing. I don't remember the movie being about Orm at all. I swore it was all Black Manta (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, The Matrix Resurrections). I thought this movie was going to be about Orm (Patrick Wilson, Hard Candy; is he intentionally supposed to look like original blonde DC Aquaman?) and was very confused about the recap including his capture -- shouldn't that bit be a proper movie, and not just a preamble? (dude, really?) Anywayz, doltish memory aside, I was glad for the recap.

Which is then followed by a non-recap catch-up of what's been going on SINCE the last movie. Essentially National Lampoon Atlantean Royalty. Aquaman (Jason Momoa, See) got married, had a son whom he is raising on the surface with his father the lighthouse keeper (Temuera Morrison, The Book of Boba Fett). Mamma Mera (Amber Heard, Drive Angry) doesn't seem to ever make an appearance as, rather than killing off the character, they retain her role but diminish it so much, its a disservice to us the viewers as well as the cast. Anywayz, Aquaman hates being king but loves being daddy and loooooves that his son can talk to fish sea creatures the same way he does. He also gets peed on. We are supposed to laugh. I am not a daddy, so maybe I don't get the funny?

Meanwhile Black Manta and his Awkward Scientist (Randall Park, Fresh Off the Boat) are trying to recover from BM getting his ass kicked in the last movie. That recovery ends up entwined with said Lost Kingdom when BM finds the (proper) trident of Underwater Sauron (Pilou Asbæk, Ghost in the Shell). BM ends up gathering up the remaining glowing green cannisters of a planet-killing toxic power source to do Bond-ian Villain things with. And that heats up the planet, and that causes havoc in Atlantis, and they want to blame The Surface World, and... well, Crabby King AM has to break out his brother to convince him to help find BM and save both worlds.

At this point, having recently rewatched Wakanda Forever I am once again merging the two movies in my head. Oh yeah, here they DO call themselves Atlanteans, and while they DO hate the Surface World, its more BM wishing to destroy.... both? But the Atlanteans do see The Surface World as the cause of all woes, so yeah, they want to destroy Wakanda, I mean The Surface World.

The movie is, once again, very very pretty. The colours, especially in my 4K pirate copy are soooo pretty and bright and stunning. The action is rote, and I did not find it very inspiring, but for the bit in the desert. AM's wahh-hoo's were driving me bonkers. His college-bro antics did as well. In the end, Underwater Sauron doesn't really play much of a role, definitely not enough for his realm to get into the title, but whatever, its a plot point so we can get zombies and monster-fish and whatnot.

To repeat, I did not like this movie very much, but as we well know, that won't stop me from rewatching it some time down the road. I might even end up doing a single post of the last 6 months of rewatches, a couple of lines each? My dislike of a movie often tempers with age, but only if inspired to watch it again. And I have never been inspired to rewatch the first Aquaman so that must say... something?

Kent's post. I guess we agree, but he does have more fish-skin in the game.

3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): Blue Beetle

2023, Angel Manuel Soto (Charm City Kings) -- download

Hey superhero movie directors. I would prefer if you didn't always try to make (Marvel's) The Avengers only to end up making Iron Man 2.

I am not going to do my usual recap of the plot of the movie, not even a fun-panning one, because ... well, I just cannot be bothered. I did not really enjoy this movie, and it all comes down to the expected reason -- superhero movie formula fatigue. While striving to make a superhero movie for the latinx experience in the US and a nostalgic feel for "classic superhero movies", it ends up just feeling like an off-budget movie with lots of money. It has a tenuous connection to the DC Universe at large, and as we know from the Gunn and Safran takeover at DC, it will have little inclusion going forward. Think of this as just another abandoned property like Black Adam was. If you want a really, true to form, superhero movie franchise for the latinx experience, go watch the Sharkboy and Lavagirl movies from Robert Rodriguez which are way more fun.

Why wasn't it fun? Primarily, for me, because it comes from the scream-at-you school of film making. Everybody in the movie is always screaming for one reason or another. Jaime screams when the blue beetle scarab merges with his body. His entire family screams when they see it. The Bad Guy screams when he absorbs the blue beetle energy converting it into red Bad Guy energy to make his own tubes & nanites (???) armour. Jaime's Crazy Uncle screams for many reasons, including the constant destruction of his pickup truck, which strangely continues to function until the plot no longer wants it to. His Nana screams as she slaughters black suited henchmen with her disco light chain gun (?!?!!). His family screams and moans at the death of a key character. The supporting characters scream every time something tense happens. Since the movie is so intent on going from scream scene to scream scene, it gives us lots of stock tense moments to be screamed at.

At this point in the waning golden years of superhero movie making, I am not sure what they can do to make a movie I will enjoy. Not everything needs to be uber-gritty The Batman but I would prefer if they would at least attempt to be as characteristic as that movie. I mean, if you want an example of how to do a movie from a DC character but to stand out from the crowd.... <waves two arms maniacally in the direction of The Batman>. Sure, it draws upon some of its predecessor energy, but it is still so distinct. This movie just felt like someone made a vision board of all the other superhero movies they wanted to be like, tossed in some purple neon synthwave Hotline Miami obsession and flipped through the comics for some names and cute connections. 

We Agree: The Flash (was bad)

2023, Andy Muschietti (It) -- cinema

So, I guess I have a new benchmark for bad movies? And I don't mean Bad Movies, like the creature features and disaster flicks that I so love, but terribly executed blockbusters that are just not well done. And also not incredibly well executed flicks that I just don't care for, because I don't like the execution style (e.g. Thor: Love & Thunder; I have since tried to rewatch this movie, twice, only to solidify my dislike for it). This movie just made so many, so very very many, bad choices.

Of note, I will write this up in my drafts with a smattering of my thoughts, and then once Kent has posted his ... post, I will (have) add(ed) in some direct response/reactions to his commentary. Probably just a lot of shouting, "This! I meant this!"

Andy Muschietti looks like the supporting character in a bad action movie, either the sleazy side-kick drug dealer, or hench goon to an Eastern European arms dealer. Not sure why I have to share that, but there it is. And he does his cameo as someone who has their hotdog stolen by the Flash. Speaking of cameos, yes that was Nicolaj Coster-Waldau getting his pizza stolen by the Flash. I know he was in Mama but I guess they are not ... friends?

I don't like Ezra Miller, and I am pretty sure that was before they came out as a sleaze bag. I didn't like their meant-to-be-sympathetic villain in the Fantastic Beasts movies, but was only mildly amused by them in the Justice League movies. They were pretty much playing themself in Asking for It and The Stand, which is to say a messed up asshole. So, I am not sure I would have been able to connect with them as The Hero on any level, especially since the whole motivation of this movie is for us to sympathize with him (this stays, as the character is a Him) despite having obviously flawed choices.

Now if I was a Big DC Superhero Fan, I might be able to sidestep whom they have cast as Barry Allen, for the sake of seeing your Hero on the big screen. But, despite being an avid comics reader for three decades, I was never really immersed in any of the DC characters outside of Superman, Batman and The Sandman. I know I have read tons of Bronze Age comics but I cannot say I really know much about The Flash nor Barry Allen. He was probably just the supporting Justice League-r in whatever  I was reading, and I definitely did not read any Flash comics directly. I also did not watch the CW show. I don't know his proper character so cannot be offended by this portrayal, and yet...

I am relating this to say I have no particular expectations for the character, but yet I still think of the character style choices of Miller as just fundamentally flawed. At least in Justice League movies, he was just somewhat irritating, but they wanted a younger, eager character so I went with that. But here, he just seems... off. As Kent says:

"...this character, who is twitchy, anxiety-addled, seemingly neurodivergent (except when he's not), is inconsistently written and likewise inconsistently played. Whatever type of person Barry Allen is supposed to be, Miller either struggles to find him, or struggles to convey him."

And don't get me started on Barry 2.

OK, I have jumped quickly into the I Don't Like-s without really saying what the movie is about.

This is The Flash after the Snyderverse Justice League movie, after they have pulled together as a team and saved the world (at least once). But the movie opens with Barry Allen again late to his Crime Lab job, which they kind of hint as being related to his superhero duties but also to him just being... late. Hah hah, fastest man alive is always late. But then, related to his superhero duties, he is whining about being the "cleanup man", always being called in to support the League instead of leading the way. The movie solidifies this via a 20-odd minute sequence focused on saving babies, and a therapy dog, from a collapsing building, while Batman chases down the Bad Guys and their weapon of mass destruction. He is initially sent in to deal with the water & power. The babies are collateral damage.

I am thinking here that one of the Purple Suits told Muschietti that he had to do a Dead Pool style opening sequence, focused on the irreverent comedy. Oooo!!  Babies in danger! One's going to be splashed with acid, another is going to be squashed! Barry has to do a weird Rube Goldberg in ultra-slowmo to save all the babies, and the dog, and the nurse, within the seconds he has. Also while snacking. Barry's "snack hole" seems to be a running gag all through this movie -- see above cameos.

But this sequence was just bad. It looked bad, it set a wrong tone, it just did all the things badly. Did I say it looked bad? This is a decade-ago level video game cut scene CGI. The movie literally begins by establishing our hero as a clown. And it contributes nothing to the rest of the movie.

This leads (in no way whatsoever) to Barry once again lamenting about the past, and his mother's death, and his father's unjust persecution. The evidence at hand all seems circumstantial, but its enough to convict, and despite Barry's chosen profession, he is not able to point out the flaw in the justice system. Instead, Barry runs away into The Past. Well, no not quite, into The Bad CGI Time Arena !!

You see, The Flash is able to run (in his incredibly stupid looking way) so fast that he ... enters the multiverse? Oh, I have no idea what they are trying to convey. Is it a mythical place? Is it a cognitive representation of the access he has while in the Speed Force? Is it just sciency-fiency gobblety gook to cause Barry to "break the Universe" for the sake of his mom? Yes folks, yes it is. Barry sees his chance, and despite knowing its a bad choice, he tweaks the past allowing his mother to survive. Not sure how though; just because his father never goes to get tomatoes, does that stop Random Murderer on coming into the house? Does his father fight off said Murderer? Do they even explain what said Murderer was all about, like all proper Uncle Ben moments do? Nope, Barry changes the past which changes the (a) future but he returns to... ten years in the past. Why? No reason but Plot Thickening. 

You see, Barry has fucked things up, as changing one point in the past doesn't just change the future but also changes the past even further. Everything is messed up. And altered. Or so he learns from Batman, but not his Batman (Ben Affleck) but the Michael Keaton Batman, who actually did a pretty good job making the world a safer place, and has retired. BUT the Justice League never appeared, Superman is not on the scene, Arthur Curry was never born, Wonder Woman is probably still hanging out of Amazon Island (the place where all the brown boxes are born) and nobody is around to fight with Zod when he shows up ready to fuck the Earth up. Oh, they do find a Superman alternate/sub-in in Supergirl, the scowling, traumatized cousin tortured in a Russian gulag for years, but that doesn't matter. This Universe, or at the very least, the Earth in this Universe, is fucked. And there is nothing that the Barry's, and Batman can do about it.

So, Barry has to go back into the Time Arena of Incredibly Rubbery CGI, to Not Save His Mom. Barry 2 is not happy about that, nor is Scary Barry. But, hey, contemplative other Supermen from other Universe Nickelodeon Spheres are watching. So he leaves the tomatoes on the shelf, albeit with one minor tweak, and the world is fixed. Kinda. Sorta. Maybe. I still like George Clooney Batman.

Did I like anything about the movie? I actually liked Scowly Supergirl, in what little characterization she had. As Kent said, "she's a presence more than a character." I liked seeing the updated Keaton Batman fighting with 2023 choreography. I liked seeing the Nick Cage Superman sphere. And I did chuckle a few times, at moments they wanted me to, and I was moved a few times, at points they wanted me to be, so I guess I was more entertained than disappointed? I mean, how could I be disappointed when I went knowing it was going to be terrible? It was, in fact, more terrible than I expected but... "it's good-bye and good riddance to the Snyderverse." So hey, we got that.

Where the quotes came from, in the Kent-iverse.

3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): Shazam! Fury of the Gods

2023, David F Sandberg (Lights Out) -- download

Zachary Levi freaking out (OK, really just more protesting vehemently; no need to click-bait myself) on the internet over lack of theatre sales, and pretty much begging people to go see it, did not save this movie from quickly being relegated to Online (is Online now the bottom shelf of the video store?).  I am not quite sure that is the punishment some see it as, but more a calculation based on the downward decline of sales in cinema against an already predetermined date. BUT in this instance, it felt like a desperate attempt to stave off.

But, despite his fervour, its just not a very good movie. I haven't done my "old man state" in quite a while, and fell asleep at two distinct points in the movie, if but for only a few seconds. And we kept on wondering who the audience was for the movie. It felt like it was meant for 12 year old's, but the movie itself is about said kids aging out of that awkward stage into young adulthood.  Sure, some of us hang onto that immaturity (until well into 50s?) and need something to urge us into the next phase, but that still leads us wondering who this incredibly immature movie was meant for.

When We Last Left Our Intrepid Adventurers, Billy Batson (Asher Angel, a bunch of his own music videos; he seems to be having his own Billy Batson coming into age journey) had shared his magic with his foster family; well, the siblings, with his parents quite in the dark regarding them constantly disappearing. The new Shazam Family (apparently, Shazamily; really?!!) is only somewhat taking to their new superhero roles, often causing more collateral damage than Saving The Day. And the daily news outlets never stops reminding them. 

They have also awoken some... Greek Gods? Even Hand Waving away the race thing, the Daughters of Atlas (deposed titan, not god) don't even bear any costuming even closely connected to the Greek God mythos and are just magical Super Villains bent on getting back the powers/magic given to the Shazam Family (nope, not gonna use it) for their own. There are fights, TONS of collateral damage (like, Man of Steel level) and a dragon made of wood. There are quips and betrayals and meet-cutes, deaths and resurrections, and a few cameos by SnyderVerse characters which connects it to... just what now?

So yeah, I fell asleep for a few seconds, here and there, during the dragon battle so it did not stay with me. Little of the movie did, and I think that had nothing to do with an Old Man Falling Sleep and maaaaa-ybe Levi should have looked at that?

3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): Black Adam

2022, Jaume Collet-Serra (Run All Night) -- download

I saw the director's name, and assumed this was one of those situations where Hollywood took a rather well known European director and assigned him a blockbuster. But then I looked back at his repertoire and was reminded that most of his stuff as been the B-movie thriller stuff I usually enjoy, nothing high falootin' at all.

That said, I did not enjoy this movie. 

Sure, I went so far as to download a 4K copy and it was spectacular in its colours and visuals, even not on the Big Screen, but I kept wondering what the point of the movie was. Its part of one of the n-th versions of the DC Cinematic Universe, connected in one form or another to the most recent movies, yet divesting itself enough to leave us wondering just why Superman or Wonder Woman haven't shown up to deal with a demi-god level powered being slaughtering folks in.... the Middle East? As to why Amanda Waller sends a black second-grade Batman (Hawk Man; I know he's more than that, but in this movie he seems to be a rich guy with lots of toys, and only one real teammate) to deal with a brown-skinned super man -- there's an ire generating tweet in there somewhere.

Khandaq-not-Wakanda in ancient times has a kid rebelling against a mad king who is stripping the country of its valuable metal eternium-not-vibranium, until the Council of Wizards gives the kid SHAZAM powers and he kills the mad king. Fast forward to now and Khandaq is definitely not Wakanda, having been exploited for its metal (though we never see what they do with it) by many invading forces, this most recent time being Intergang. Adrianna and her brave band of freedom fighters are trying to find the Crown of Sabbac, an eternium forged crown worn by the mad king, supposedly containing demons, so they can... oh, I don't remember. But they fuck up and wake up Teth-Adam. Does "teth" mean black? Who knows, but it might as well. In a rollicking, high body count battle, Adam floats around zapping soldiers to death with lightning, but saves Adrianna so she can escape with the crown. This first fight is spectacular, all not-super Superman style action of invulnerability, flying and glorious mass destruction, if you like your super men slaughtering dozens. It ends when he gets blown up by an eternium missile. Ooo, he has a not-kryptonite weakness? Nevermind, as they pretty much forget that for the rest of the movie.

Teth-Adam wakes up The Justice Society (well, two of them) at the behest of Amanda Waller (?!?!) and two subs: Cyclone and Atom Smasher. None of this made any sense to me, and I even have a passing knowledge of these characters. A supe with Superman level of power has awoken, and I would understand if they were sending in a B-grade team for recon and intel, but nope, Carter Hall / Hawkman decides to try to beat the shit out of this new SuperVillain, bringing along two junior superheroes and Dr. Fate, who keeps on taking off his fucking helmet, so we can see his face. Hall just growls and threatens his way through the entire movie getting his ass regularly kicked, despite him having his own standard-level super strength. The rest quip and smirk: Dr. Fate is old and full of wisdom and magic, Atom Smasher just inherited the suit and the powers, and Cyclone is young, but seems solid enough and has the most glorious not-Starfire purple hair. Despite good efforts, and tons and TONS of collateral damage and (not depicted) deaths of hundreds (with the destruction they cause, it could not be avoided) they barely scratch Adam. Call the Justice League? Not yet.

The thing is, if they had just left him alone, he probably would have floated away. He wasn't interested in being Khandaq's resident superhero, despite his growing affection for Adrianna's enthusiastic son Amon. He seems non-plussed about all the technology despite learning it is 5000 years later and just glowers his way through most scenes, seemingly forgetting doors exist as he slowly, almost gently, continually smashes through Adrianna & Amon's apartment walls. They are not getting their damage deposit back. I did chuckle when the movie finally acknowledges that bit. But still, if Hall had just stopped beating his spinny mace on Adam's head for a moment, things might have ended sooner than they did. But all this battle is McGuffiny for the real stakes are the Crown of Sabbac, which the leader of Intergang wants so he can resurrect/summon/transform into a demon-king of Khandaq. Call the Justice League? Nope. We now have a CGI villain reject from Diablo III game to fight.

So, why didn't this movie work when pretty much all the Marvel movies do. Bias? Somewhat. Familiarity? Eventually. But they all, even the worst of them, have a digestible structure and work with us to build bonds to the characters. This is supposed to be the anti-hero movie, and purposely skips building any bonds to any character other than The Rock. But despite some lame attempts at justification (he was fighting evil), he is just not a likeable character. Even the middling production in Samaritan did a better job connecting us to a villain than this movie does. It all just ends up feeling... so empty.

Hopefully, now that James Gunn has some control over the cinematic aspects of the DC universe, we will see improvement on the screen, for I can unabashedly say that his movie, The Suicide Squad is the best thing in the DC cinematic universe and it does an incredible job of making us like/enjoy anti-heroes. I am not saying the same tone should have applied to this movie, but... there should have been something, anything, to make us actually like Teth-Adam beyond who is playing him?

Kent's post - we agree.