Showing posts with label magic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label magic. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 28, 2026

3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): Dust Bunny

2025, Bryan Fuller (writer of Hannibal) -- download

Wait, what? This is his feature film directorial debut? OK, I knew he was primarily a show-runner and writer for TV, but ... OK, I guess so. Your alternate reality is weird.

Also, pre-amblish in saying, its only mid-January but I predict this will be one of my favourite films for the entire year. As Kent said, "What a fucking delight."

Also, as Kent said,  "What if Leon: The Professional was made by Jean-Pierre Jeunet [sic] instead of Luc Besson".

We Agree.

Tempted to just point at Kent's post and say, "Yeah what he said," and that wouldn't be the first time I have thought that in the 10+ years of this blog, but its still cheating.

I am [mostly] not going to recap. But this movie is about a little girl ("Erora" ... "Aurora" ... "Uhrora" ... "AURORA" ... "That's what I said.") who fears the monster under her bed, the one which will eat you if you walk on the floor. It arrives one night, as a mote of dust through an open window -- I was thinking how unclean is this city that finger sized balls of fluff float through windows -- and evolves into a coot wittle fuzzy wuzzy bunny-kin, i.e. a dust bunny. After the thing evolves even further, into a magic-powered (how could it not be) eating machine, and devours her parents, she knows she has to do something.

Living across the hall is the impeccably dressed... OK, maybe not impeccable, he is not Hannibal, but more eclectically dressed Intriguing Neighbour (Mads Mikkelsen, Polar) -- nicely patterned track suits meet silk pyjamas. How does she know he can help her? She doesn't but after following him one night to China Town, she sees him in action against a dragon. Well, a bunch of China Town villains underneath a dragon-dance costume, but her imagination sees what she needs to see.

Aurora (Sophie Sloan, Chemistry of Death) procures his services by robbing the collection plate of a church. He questions how she knows a word like "procure". And thus begins a battle of wills & wits as she gives him no choice but to be involved in slaying her monster.

In case you need the warning, hereafter are Spoilers. 

The monster is quite real. She wished him up, ages ago. This is not the first foster family it has eaten. And some of those foster families were nice. But, in little girl logic, she also wished up her Intriguing Neighbour, to deal with it. Meanwhile he is ... an assassin? Its never explicitly said but he does violence, has enemies and a handler. The handler (Sigourney Weaver, The Gorge) is presented as many have been in such movies -- you approach her in a funky restaurant, where she sits at a table that affords a view of all who come and go. She is mysterious, callous and thinks Aurora should die for having witnessed what he does for a living. Except, when they enter her apartment under the cover of nighttime, they are in the monster's domain, and they step on the floor. Gobble gobble.

Migawd this movie is lovely to look at. Sure, as we know (and love), Fuller is known for his shows having a particular look & feel. Hannibal was his most straight-laced show but the costuming and set decorating was out of this world. Dust Bunny is set in a uber-stylized New York City that I had to build towards believing it was actually NYC. At times, I thought it was an unnamed Eastern European city, at times, it was a London where Aurora might run into Paddington. But eventually, enough set pieces appear to establish it well as NYC, but one unlike any reality we live in. And the apartment building they live puts the Arconia to shame, such wild aesthetics! I swear the wallpaper in the entry hallway of Aurora's apartment changed depending on the mood of the scene.

This is a movie that wears its whimsy on its brocade sleeve. But that's to be expected in a movie about a monster from under the bed, but also in the Fuller oeuvre, its grim. The monster basically eats almost everyone by the end of the movie, but there is also a bonding scene through body dismemberment. It is so much like a proper faery tale in that it is colourful, magical and entirely violent. And delightful!

Monday, December 8, 2025

Toast & Kent's XMas (2025) Advent Calendar: Day 8 - Enchanting Christmas

2024, Brian Brough (Christmas Angel) -- download

Not to mixed up with Enchanted Christmas, a 2017 Hallmarkie starring Alex PenaVega of Spy Kids fame and her IRL husband Carlos.

Another from the leftovers bin and ... oh, gawds it turned out to be a terrible terrible knock-off of Hot Santa... wait, what was the movie called again? Oh yeah, Hot Frosty ! Hot Santa is that fashion model white bearded dude. Anywayz, as Peanut Gallery says, they are both just Pygmalion myth rip-offs.... but can you really rip-off myths?

Remember when I thought of watching nothing but off-market Hallmarkies? This should nail that coffin shut. Well, once I clean my leftovers bin out. 

Meta: While Googling this movie, I found a Reddit thread from someone who thought it was an actual Hallmark movie and was shouted down, as is the way of Reddit, by people who found it to be a GAF (Great American Family - the Xian "competition" for Hallmark; Kent and us discussed it in comments last year) but its really just an off-market indie movie sold to Amazon in the US... but not available in Canada on Prime.

The Draw: Most likely because it was a gender-bent knock-off of Hot Frosty.

HERstory: Technically it starts with HIStory. We start with the snowy wintry probably mountain PST flyover and a one room shack quaint log cabin where Single Dad Ben (Brando White, Dashing in December) carves ice, for money, but is still down on his luck due to overdue hospital bills from a recent accident. The bank is denying his loan. Poor Single Dad Ben.

As poor Single Dads do, they want to give their only daughters a perfect Xmas but are short on cash, so daughter Annie (Ava Jarque, The Housewives of the North Pole [?!?!?!?]) doesn't actually want anything. Instead she wishes on a... star? Snowfall? I don't remember, but Ben says he will carve her an Ice Princess as an early Xmas Gift, something out of a book he reads to her, a princess in a Green Dress... meh, I prefer Red Dresses.

It was at this point in the viewing I remembered why I downloaded the flick -- that it was to be a Hot Frosty knock-off! So, while I lasciviously commented, "Will she appear naked?" I had to remind myself that Frosty had appeared naked but for the magic scarf he was wearing, because he was a snowman only wearing a (magic) scarf & toque. Ice Princess is carved wearing a dress, as per the story.

Anywayz, the carving is ... well, its ugly - a grimacing simulacrum of a girl. But Ben has worked hard on it, late into the night, so Annie can see come morning. But the next morning, they approach the statue and ... oh noes, its just a pile of broken ice blocks. Something weather related must have broken it! Ben promises to do a new one, but it won't be ready for Xmas. Sad Annie.

Of note, there was a severe lack of any special effects when the "magic" happened. Its a sign of how lacking in any budget this movie has.

Anywayz, Ben has to leave Annie all alone in the woods while he heads to town to talk about a job for Dick Richman (John Donovan Wilson, Santa, Maybe), a real estate bro who really dislikes Ben but needs something special for his part in the town tree lighting ceremony. Or Christmas Fair. Something community related but which plays so little a part in the movie, I no longer recall.

While Ben is out, Annie finds a pretty blonde (well, bleached blonde with roots showing) lady in a green dress lost in the woods. Magic! She's very confused; after all she's a brand new person. Annie names her Jade Frost (Emily Sweet, Boss, Your Wife is Super Cool) and invites her in for hot chocolate cuz she's cold ("..and now I'm wiggling...") -- luckily there is no need to maintain a sub-zero temperature for Jade, so the hot drink with puffy white things goes down well. Annie comments on Dead Mom; Sad Annie has magic-ed herself up a new mom! But when Dad shows up, she has to explain why this strange hot lady is in their house. Enter a lie only an 8 year old can tell -- she's a teacher at her school and there was an apartment leak and she has no where else to go, so Annie offered her the spare room (in their one room shack which is "bigger on the inside") for a few weeks. Dad, expectedly, freaks. Who are you lady? Get the Hell out of my house! I don't care if you have nowhere to go and no family and no money for a motel and... no coat! Get out of my house! Well, if the movie had more emotional energy than a damp blanket, it might have gone that way, but he does ask her to leave. But immediately after, noticing she has no coat, he relents and ... roomies! Happy Annie.

The little family has dinner, where Jade is surprised that food has taste, and has trouble answering the most basic questions about ... well, basic human interaction. But that's OK, she's a hot blonde, so Ben overlooks. The next day, Jade will need clothes other than a green dress, so Annie grabs her savings and heads to the local thrift shop. The scene decides its important to point out that Jade is good at math. After shopping comes the first trope, a stop at the local Kids Crafting Event, where Jade impresses everyone by making a very pretty stocking, and is nice to people and meets... well, low-rent Santa masquerading as a school janitor. He tells Jade the rules of Ice Princess-dom, wherein if she doesn't convince Ben to accept that Magic Made Her and still accept her as a person (which, technically, she ain't) by Xmas Eve, she will turn back into ice.

Seriously, low rent Santa gives off more ex-biker now school janitor while on parole vibes than friendly magic monger.

So, Ben has that sculpture to make for Dick Richman which involves Santa and his sleigh and his reindeer, so Ben needs inspiration from .... real reindeer. He says, "I mean elk" which makes me think of the whole European vs North American debate of elk vs deer vs moose, but these are proper reindeer, not elk. Jade's drawings are MUCH better than Ben's, so I guess magic is required for good art? This is supposed to be the establishment of some rapport between the two but all her responses are one, two or three words. This is not dialogue, this is not conversation. I know its supposed to reflect the idea she is a New Person, but doesn't it come off as weird to him? Like, not attractive? Or is this idealizing her as the perfect Trad Wife, who is pretty but has few words and fewer thoughts.

Then we get another crafting event (candy apples), key to showing how well Annie and Jade interact together, and how considerate Jade is, this time adding in some Annie complication around a boy she likes (he's a bully) and a boy who likes her.  Because this movie didn't take the "learn life from watching Netflix" shortcut, all we get are more examples of Jade responding, "I don't know," to every question asked of her.

All this leads to Annie suggesting they go on a date. Ben asks Jade out for dinner, at a local busy, noisy diner where they run into Dick Richman who is jealous of Ben dating a hot blonde, criticizes Ben's choice of resto (which he is standing in, at that exact moment) and knocks over a waitress in his frustration that Jade lack of enthusiasm with his slicked back pony-tail. Dick Richman departs after basically screaming, "I'll have my revenge!". Ben and Jade go outside for churros, hot chocolate and more weird, awkward magic advice for Jade, from Janitor Santa.

Dick Richman's revenge doesn't make sense. He decides to ruin Ben's sculpture, the sculpture he commissioned, the sculpture he is using to win cred with the town mayor. Dick Richman ain't so smart. Exceeept, instead of a pool of water, Ben finds slightly melty reindeer which he re-carves into slightly smaller reindeer.... they don't even try to reference the "eight tiny reindeer" idea.

So, final day. Christmas Fair, Ben's reindeer sculpture is a success, which I guess is supposed to imply more work in the future (??) but, finally, Ben learns that Jade is not a teacher who needed a place to stay. Outraged, he confronts her and Jade tells her story, which Ben translates as Con Woman. So, the clues weren't there all along? Anywayz, Ben yells, Jade cries and runs away, knowing she is about to be iced. Janitor Santa has some words of "wisdom" for Annie (really, she should be creeped out by this creepy Santa) and then Janitor Santa asks Ben one question (which I don't recall) but it is enough for Ben to be attacked by a montage of memories scene, one where a normal person would go, "wow, she was really clueless" but he interprets as, "oh maybe she was actually a magic girl made from ice & wishes!" and so Ben & Annie hop in his broke-ass pickup to chase after Jade.

Meanwhile Jade has walked home faster than they could drive and... turned back into ice, dress and all. But never to be defeated by time-laden Xmas Magic, Ben gives the ice statue a heartfelt confession of love and as the two walk away broken hearted, the lack of special effects turn a blue light bulb on behind them and... Jade is a person again. The two kiss and will now have to deal with the complications of proper ID, her first period (as Peanut Gallery pointed out, will be rather shocking), and all the other stuff involved with ice becoming people.

The Formulae: OK, there is a PST (apparently its also called Stone Bridge which we never see any reason for) and a Christmas Fair / Tree Lighting and an Xmas Deadline and lots of hot chocolate and Xmas Activities and a Green Dress and a complication and a Dead Mom.

Unformulae: But for the most part, its pretty much not on formula, given it wants to be the Hot Frosty knock-off with the whole Cinderella midnight deadline but she's the pumpkin. There is no complicating Big City and no, common enough to all the other Hallmarkies I have watched this season, massive family house ("bigger on the inside" one room shack doesn't count). There is also no work work work to complicate her pretty empty head. 

The house thing has been brought up before, but usually someone in a Hallmarkie is uber-rich. Late Stage Capitalism is a thing in these movie and unless it is imperative to the plot, usually have more money than wits.

True Calling? No, I am going to say that Christmas was never all that enchanting. They could have gone with Christmas Enchantment and that's even available, but didn't.

The Rewind: No rewind, but I cannot  help but keep chuckling over Jade's utterance of "now I'm wiggling" which sounds naughtier than confused description of shivering.

The Regulars: Nobody; this is so far off track, these people are barely actors let along regulars.

How does it Hallmark? So, even a non-formula movie can Hallmarkie the #@!% out of things by focusing on the core ideal of an emerging love. But in this Pygmalion thing its kind of creepy to begin, especially with the "born sexy yesterday" trope in play. But not only can these two not act, but there is no way the scripted interactions between the two should lead to anything but horniness on his part. I am not sure she, who has difficulty understand hunger, would understand attraction. Basically I am saying they had the chemistry of wet snow. 

How does it movie? Astoundingly terrible. One thing I noticed about the zero-budget flicks is a lack of background ... anything. There are barely any extras, and most don't have any contribution to the movie. Almost all shots are close ups with massive amount of bokeh. Sets are minimal, and the most basic location shots. All the dialogue is flat, the interactions empty and the characters wooden. Also, as previously mentioned, the movie cannot afford ANY special effects, not even simple lighting effects beyond a blue bulb lighting off camera.

But in some weird masochistic way, this movie was a lot of fun to recollect and write. Maybe I crave the terrible?

Oh oh, something from my notes!! At least half a dozen times, when they did the requisite "fly over shot" of the PST, I could have sworn it was done by AI, which will emerge as the poor-man's CGI in movies to come. Its chilling to consider....

How Does It Snow?  In town, not at all. Like not cold, typical shot-on-a-set stuff, but when they are around his cabin in the woods, its all massive amounts of REAL SNOW with banks and snow piled high on branches.

Friday, June 6, 2025

3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): Flow

2024, Gints Zilbalodis (Away) -- download

Kent flowed.

OK, its about time I wrote about something that was not only in my bin for a while, one of the Should Be Watching, but also because it was entirely worth waiting for. This was not only everything everyone said it was (Best Animated Feature) but it was beautiful to watch, beautiful to listen to, and one long Cat Video. Also, its PoAp.

Some planet after some event. Maybe its Earth maybe its a Ghibli world, but that doesn't matter. We have a world without humans but the remnants of humanity, the refuse left to grow over, leaving lots of room, and peace for the surviving animals. A little black cat (OK, the director says it was "dark gray" but I am partial to black cats, so he was black for me), for one, who lives in a house once owned by an artist, where he sleeps on a made bed that is only easily reached by the lithe little jumps a cat can reach. That is, until the waters come.

The movie begins with a tense encounter between the cat and a pack of dogs, not a feral looking scary bunch, but a pack of once-pets, but still cat/dog, so conflict. Until they are all swept away by a flash flood. The cat does find refuge, briefly, back at his home, the lovely artist's shack surrounded by cat sculptures, but the waters continue to rise quickly until the cat finds himself perched high upon a stone cat. When that  too is under water, he is picked up by a capybara in a sail boat. 

Yup. Too cute.

Thus begins a "road trip" movie, a journey towards... well, we never really know what, but in a world overwhelmed by water, I imagine they were looking for dry land, and a time when the waters aren't rising.

There are no humans in this movie, so there is no dialogue as these are not "cartoon animals", but there is no lack of communication, albeit fantastical in nature. The cat is constantly mewing and meowing, in the manner we are accustomed to, which is in turn for our benefit, as cats sans humans don't often make those noises. But the other animals he encounters interact with him in very definable manners. The capybara is helpful and looking for companionship. The secretarybird that joins them is domineering, stoic and their navigator... he seems to know where he is going. The meercat lemur is frenetic, a covetous collector of human things. And the golden retriever is a typical big, goofy pal who didn't share in his pack's desire to chase a cat in terror. They are all gathered together on the boat on their way... somewhere.

This movie is just so beautiful to look at. Obviously inspired by the films of Miyazaki, everything is bright and beautiful and mystical. Their journey is punctuated by the constant slow rise of the waters, now deep enough that whale-creatures join them on their journey, at least one finding itself bonding with the cat. This is not our Earth and in the distance, just over the horizon, the massive monoliths that the secretarybird guides them to are ominous, magical.

They say the journey is more important than the destination, and in the end this applies to the movie succinctly. They do reach the monoliths, there is a beautiful, mysterious interaction but then the waters recede, disappearing, pulling back, as if  they were not even there. Where does the water go? Why is the land not saturated and destroyed after being underwater for so long? What about the whales? What's next for our cat and his friends? No answers but your own headcanon. And it doesn't matter, doesn't diminish from an absolutely lovely movie.

Also, I would love to see some lemurs wearing pots as hats.

Friday, May 2, 2025

ReWatch: Constantine

2005, Francis Lawrence (Red Sparrow) -- download / The Shelf 

Yes, I have this on The Shelf, but no, we haven't started a project yet, and I don't think we did a tag? Anywayz, the movie was made 20 years ago and this year it came out with a nice, crisp, beautiful looking 4K copy. Did I buy it? Gosh no, but I sure downloaded it, and geeze almighty, it shure is perty.

Yes, there is a Tag. Use it.

In 2005 I was not that far removed from my fondness for the Hellblazer comic. John Constantine was an anti-hero, a swearing, smoking, betraying spell-caster in a modern urban environment, who was constantly at odds with Hell. He carried the air of a supernatural noir detective with a constant halo of cigarette smoke and an iconic camel trench coat, but with a hint of punk via his spiky/messy blonde hair. John Constantine was not a nice guy, not a good guy.

Then it was announced that Keanu Reeves would play John. Despite the goodwill he generated from The Matrix, he is and will always be the "whoah" guy. Few were pleased; even fewer were pleased by moving it to America, switching out the camel coat for a short black trench, and leaving Keanu with his dark hair. I recall being hesitant but also realizing I would probably just enjoy the idea of a contemporary magic-realism thriller. I also recall being less than thrilled by a lot of it, and yet, it must have stuck with me well enough, to eventually end up on The Shelf. Twenty years later, I am more than just a nostalgic fondness for the movie, I truly, really like it, Keanu and all. 

In Mexico two men who appear to be homeless addicts are literally just scratching in the dirt in the ruins of an old church. They are not just any old wooden classic church remains, but some brutalist concrete frame that just screams ritual. One of the men puts a foot through the floor / ground and finds... something. Its the Spear of Longinus, the Hofburg Spear version of it in particular, the blade that struck Jesus in the side, killing him. We are given the impression he is possessed by it, but I see something more, for it is just a tool and it is those desiring the tool that possess the man, making him invulnerable to harm (he steps onto a road, is struck by a car, it destroying itself around him, like he was Superman or The Hulk) and setting him on a path... north.

Meanwhile in LA, John Constantine (pronounced, scandalously, -teen; Keanu Reeves, John Wick) is asked to look into something by Hennessey (Pruitt Taylor Vince, The Mentalist), a priest who looks more street beggar than holy man. With John's intro, we get all the little details: the trench (albeit altered), the white shirt with tie askew, and the cigarettes. This was twenty years ago when the cinematic world still considered smoking on screen as taboo. But that is absolutely necessary to the character portrayal. As are the consequences.

That opening exorcism just smacks of style. Sure, its a rote Christian style exorcism but the man performing it is more a noir gumshoe taking out the trash than a man performing a holy ritual. He's angry, vindictive, ruthless, and more than a little pissed off that the demon inside her is not following the rules. We even get a hint of a popular comic sidekick character -- Chaz the cab driver (Shia LaBeouf, Holes), now a bit diminished as a youthful paranormal investigative wannabe who John has no problem using up. Anyone who read the comics saw where that relationship would go.

Then we get the story setup. A suicide, and Angela (Rachel Weisz, The Mummy), a police detective, a twin, who cannot believe her sister, a Good Catholic, would commit suicide, despite her incarceration inside a mental health facility. While she goes to her parish priest for consolation, confirmation her sister is not in Hell, John is in the same church to confront the Angel Gabriel (Tilda Switon, Orlando), angry at the fact that the legions are no longer following the rules. John reminds Gabriel that he has been doing his job well, finding demons who break the rules and deporting them back to Hell. But this one was not just possessing, but actually trying to manifest itself on Earth. That's entirely against the rules. Gabriel doesn't care, and only sees John as trying to bargain his way to Heaven. He is, of course, but that's not the point.

Oh, and Gabriel is a "half-breed", while it is not fully explained, they are lesser versions of angelic and demonic beings able to actually walk around on the Earth. The half-breeds are always conspiring against each other but are not allowed direct intervention. The implication is that they have been on Earth for a while, and "mingled" with us. And yes, there are half-breed demons as well.

And that's the setup: the Holy Lance, demons breaking the rules, a death by suicide, and John trying to pull together all the details. He tasks Hennessey with finding out more, badgering the man into taking off the talisman that protects him from... the voices. John doesn't care about the cost on the man's sanity; John's an asshole. He's also an asshole to Angela, the detective, starting when she seeks him out for assistance about her sister's place in the afterlife, and we get to see a ritual John casts to temporarily visit Hell, where he does indeed find the sister's soul. Angela is not happy with that news. John also tells her he himself is Hell Bound, as he committed suicide as a teen, so he knows where he eventually will go.

To confirm to Angela that something supernatural is going on, something even more out of the "ordinary", something involving Angela and her sister, we are given the incredible street scene. On a quiet LA street, as Angela is leaving John, the street lights go out, but more so, all light fades, and sounds are heard -- wings, talons. As the darkness encroaches on the two, John lights up something. In previous viewings, I thought it might just be a cloth soaked in alcohol, but now we believe it might be something more, maybe a holy relic he had in his pocket, something that when ignited could keep manifested demons from attacking them, its holy light & fire sending them back to Hell in droves, leaving naught but ashes. And confirming to Angela that Hell has come to Earth. And it wants her.

The holy relics. Another comics sourced character, Beeman (Max Baker, The Island), presents John with a bunch of "stuff", items with supernatural significance, to help John on his ... quest. Meanwhile Hennessey has learned... something, and the demon Balthazar (Gavin Rossdale, musician in band "Bush") is not happy about it, doing some evil magic on on the man, who drinks himself to death in the briefest of moments. Direct intervention; naughty Balthazar. John finds Hennessey with a symbol on his hand, a symbol Beeman says is for Mammon, who is Lucifer's wayward son, who is part of a prophecy wherein he takes over the Earth with the help of "divine essence" and a powerful psychic. Said powerful psychic was to be Angela's sister, but she died. And the Beeman is killed as well, and John is attacked by a full-blood demon on a street, only protected by one of Beeman's relics, a matchbox full of screeching beetles, little bugs that demons cannot abide the sounds of. Angela admits she also has the same psychic powers as her sister. She is abducted right from under John's nose, and this little coup is underway.

The final act, the confrontation, the battle for Earth's sanctity. In the hospital with Angela's sister died, the hordes of demon half-breeds have gathered. John assaults the place with his holy relic weapons, including a "gearing up scene" produced shotgun that fires dragon's breath from holy shells. Its ridiculous, very Hollywood, but its fun, smacks of the vampire death club scene in Blade. After dealing with the minions, he pulls Angela from the pool and interrupts Mammon's return. But then Gabriel returns, a turncoat, jealous of humanity's favour from God, hoping to see Mammon wipe the planet clean of the human taint. When all seems lost, John cast aside and injured, he does a Hail Mary (religious pun intended) -- he cuts his own wrists knowing that there is one soul that the King of Hell, Lucifer himself (Peter Stormare, Armageddon), would come to Earth to collect. That gives John the chance to show daddy dearest what his son is up to. Lucifer deals with Gabriel and his son and then offers John his life as thanks for catching all this. Instead, in an act of unexpected selflessness, he asks Lucifer to release Angela's sister's soul from Hell, forgive her suicide. So, with John's soul being dragged behind him Lucifer begins a trod back to Hell when.... selfless act rewarded ! John's forgiven his cardinal sin and will be going to Heaven instead. Not to be foiled, Lucifer decides to heal John, of his wounds, of his terminal cancer (remember, the integral smoking?). John is properly saved.

This whole final act is incredible. I remember thinking Peter Stormare as Lucifer was far too camp, but over the years, I have not only softened to him as The Devil but love it now, fully. He's always been a bigger than big actor so his over-the-top Satan is delectable. He didn't need to be overshadowing to be intimidating. He obviously has it in for John, and while its not clear to the non-comic-reader, has been messing with Lucifer's plans for ages. And Gabriel -- cocky, self-important Gabriel who hates Earth and humans is now one of them... us, except for those stubby, burned bits of wing bone on their back. Tilda Swinton is so great as the non-binary angel.

Yah, still love the movie, and this 4K copy was just sooooo pretty. The colours, even though most of them are earth-tones, are clear and lush. The sets look incredible, from John's big industrial loft style apartment but with the odd wood detailing everywhere, to the bowling alley in which Beeman hid, with its soul bottles hanging everywhere, to that initial apartment complex where John exorcised the demon in he opening act, so large and from another era, very noir, very LA, almost cyberpunk. Keanu had already pulled away (mostly) from his "whoah" personality with The Matrix movies, but here he's embracing the bastard. He is surrounded by a bunch of character actors who play up their parts well.

Some final thoughts. I always felt, and still do feel, that the Angela character, while integral to the plot, is handled... rather extraneously. She's a cop but we barely see her investigate. Her character is a pawn for the most part. There was originally supposed to be a love interest for John, a demon half-breed played by Michelle Monaghan, but that was all cut out, leaving most viewers wondering why she has a brief scene in the final act, no lines, she is just blown away by the shotgun. I never liked the way they presented Chas, the cab driver who was always one of my favourite characters from the comic, who is played by Shia LaBeouf in the movie in "huh huh, can we Spike, can we fight demons Spike!" lapdog who, like all John's friends in the movie, dies. And finally, Papa Midnight, or just Midnite, a voodoo priest that dislikes John but are more peers than pawns is a classic Magical Negro (trope term), but with bite and is the template for a lot of characters in urban fantasy movies to come. Its almost turning the trope on its head. In the comic, he was just another rival of John's, another example of a magician/sorcerer from a different culture, that John runs into, but that's lost to the movie so only the trope remains, and Djimoun Hounsou just owns it.

Despite hints of a sequel, one which could be interesting now that Keanu has replaced Neo with Wick, I am not sure it is really needed, and would only be a disappointment.

Monday, March 10, 2025

KWIF: Mickey 17 (+4)

 KWIF=Kent's Week(ish) in Film.

This Week:
Mickey 17 (2025, d. Bong Joon Ho - in theatre)
Bravestarr: The Legend (1988, d. Tom Tataranowicz - YouTube)
Red Rooms (2023, d. Pascal Plante - Crave)
Problemista (2023, d. Julio Torres - Crave)
Wicked Little Letters (2023, d. Thea Sharrock - Crave)

---

Mickey 17 is a satirical sci-fi romp from the fantastic Korean filmmaker Bong Joon Ho. His vision for the film is one that is delightfully odd, replete with director Bong's usual nuanced touches and social commentary, but this is the first of his films that I've seen where he seems like he's wrestling with the construction of the narrative.   

The plot finds Robert Pattinson's Mickey on the run from particularly sadistic loan sharks after his macron business failed, and his only hope of outrunning his fate is to get on board one of the long-distant colonizing space ships (as is noted, the environment of Earth is becoming increasingly uninhabitable and so competition for spots on these ships is fierce). Mickey's got no particular special skills, knowledge, or influence so his only option is to take on the designation of "Expendable". As such, Mickey's physiology, personality and memories are downloaded and should Mickey die in the process of doing his jobs (all jobs which are all but guaranteed to kill him, such as being the guinea pig for catching the virii on their new planet, and for testing vaccines to inoculate against them).

There is a tremendous exposition dump in the first act of the film that would feel interminably long if it weren't so entertaining.  A lesson we've learned from, like, time loop movies, is dying over and over again can make good comedy fodder.  It also squares us up for the politics of the era (not too dissimilar from our own) and that the spaceship Mickey is aboard is led by failed presidential candidate, and definite center of a cult-of-personality, Kenneth Marshall.  As played by Mark Ruffalo, Marshall is like a mix of Trump, Musk and televangelist Jim Bakker (with Toni Collette being his sauce-obsessed, intellectually superior co-conspirator, ala Tammy Faye). Marshall is an absolute clown of a human being, an absurd egocentric who has failed upward with the support a gullible populace. He's uncomfortably comedic, and just as reprehensible. Ruffalo puts on a good show.  

When we first meet Mickey, he's the 17th version. He has fallen in an ice cave and left for dead. But the native potato bugs rescue him.  Being a man made of soup, he just thinks his meat is bad, and the potato bugs rejected him. Returning to the ship, he comes to find that his replacement, Eighteen, has already been made, and the woman who's always by his side, Nasha (Naomi Ackie) is already cozied up with him. Eighteen is a much brasher, no-nonsense version of Mickey, while Seventeen is much more timid and reserved. The two of them, through a series of increasingly odd events, spark a revolution aboard their ship, but first spark outrage being Multiples, an affront against God and all that's good apparently (as a soul can't be shared between two bodies, or so they say).

Following the massive international and award-winning success of Parasite in 2019, Bong Joon Ho got a budgetary upgrade for his follow-up, Mickey 17. The film's price tag at nearly $120 million is well over double his next most expensive film (Okja, for the record) and triple that of Snowpiercer which played like a blockbuster, but was made pretty modestly.  In Mickey 17, it's all up there on the screen, though. The sets are plentiful, and feel all of a whole, creating a world aboard a spaceship that is tangible and lived-in. The alien planet that is the destination is a desolate and frigid place populated by a race of gigantic potato bugs, and, yeah, it's all well-realized too.  Could Director Bong have made this on a slimmer budget? Absolutely, but it wouldn't look nearly as good.

Pattinson and Ackie are great together, and I loved how Pattinson seemingly channelled Joe Pesci from Home Alone for Seventeen but Joe Pesci from Casino for Eighteen.  I enjoyed watching the movie, quite a bit, it is so fun and weird, but I didn't come out loving it as I had hoped. Nothing sticks out as particularly bad, or egregious, but it doesn't quite all gel together smoothly. There's not really a clear message to the picture, as it seems to be working through a multitude of societal critiques.  I think were this a film from the 1980s and I'd just seen it for the first time, I would be just agog, absolutely blown away by it, so maybe I just need to give it a little time. In the end, even if it is more of a lark than another Oscars-worthy movie from Director Bong, it's still an entertaining picture that should be worth a revisit.

---

The 1980's were the golden age of action figures. G.I. Joe, Masters of the Universe, Star Wars, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Transformers were the top tier "boys toys" lines of the era, bolstered by syndicated cartoon series or big franchise movies.  These major properties still live today not just out of nostalgia, but a rich sense of world building that keeps sparking the imagination of young and old alike.

The pervasiveness of these toy lines was in part due to the loosening of restrictions around advertising to children, and so the accompanying weekly (or daily, in some cases) cartoon became a necessity when launching any new toy line.  It was no guarantee to success, however, and each also-ran toyline has its own unique story to tell (see the excellent pop-culture histories on the Secret Galaxy youtube channel).

Filmation, makers of the fine He-Man and the Masters of the Universe and She-Ra: Princess of Power cartoons wanted to find success with their own ideas, not just producing cartoons based another company's intellectual property. Long story short (again, watch Secret Galaxy's recent retrospective), Filmation brought Bravestarr, a mash up of nearly everything popular in the 80's -- sci-fi, westerns, magic, and superheroes (it only needed dinosaurs) -- to Mattel, and the toy company ran with it... but too fast for Filmation. The plan was for Bravestarr's origin story to debut in theatres in the summer of 1987 along with the toys, followed by the ongoing series in the fall to bolster continued sales of the toys, but Mattel jumped the gun, excited to get the toys on shelves for Christmas 1986...where they died on the vine.

The cartoon series debuted on time, in the fall of '87, but the movie was delayed, and released in 1988 with little to no fanfare, the toy line already languishing on shelves and Mattel having moved on. Filmation as a studio was sunk and Bravestarr: The Legend was all but forgotten (in fact it was only upon watching Secret Galaxy's recent video that I even learned there was a Bravestarr movie).

Did it deserve its fate? The toys have become a bit of a cult classic, certain toys reaching pretty astronomical prices in the nostalgia-laden aftermarket, but unlike the big names of the 80's, there's been no revival for Bravestarr (maybe in part because licensing is a bit of a clusterfudge). But having caught the feature (it's on youtube), I have to say...I would have freaking loved this as a kid, and I quite like it now.

There aren't a lot of toy lines or multimedia properties, even to this day, with a person of colour as the lead, and most lines feature no Indigenous characters at all. Bravestarr is a series built around a futuristic society where a Native American is the titular hero.  "The Legend" is Bravestarr's origin story, and it starts with the history of Bravestarr's people, a civilization of Native Americans with very advanced technology and magics, being assaulted by Stampede, a power-mad invading force that wants to take the civilization's power for its own. I don't know if the allegory of colonial genocide was the intention, or if they just kind of stumbled into it, but it's there. 

Bravestarr's people escape to the stars as the planet is literally destroyed by Stampede's greedy thirst for power (again with the allegory), and only settle again when a new colony on the planet "New Texas" is formed as a result of the "gold rush" like atmosphere for the precious fuel jewel Kerium. But the planet is already besieged by Stampede and his proxy, Tex Hex. So the mayor of New Texas sends for help, which comes in the form of Bravestarr, the newly recruited galactic marshall, joined by J.B. the tough woman judge (and love interest) appointed to the planetary county.  He's there to clean things up, but he fails...at first.

It takes Bravestarr reconnecting with his roots, granting him great powers (strength of the bear, speed of the puma, eyes of the hawk, and ears of the wolf, all very nicely visualized in the show), and joining forces with the indigenous Prairie People of the planet that he is properly able to take on the evil forces New Texas faces.

In total, "The Legend" is an unevenly told story, waffling in and out of exposition, at one point running through a montage of, I presume, all the action figures available to buy. It makes use of the same well-trod 80's mold of good-vs-evil toy cartoons, and of the equally well-trod origin story formulae (that would get a workout for a good long while to come). But at the same time, the combination of influences and genres does make for a unique scenario that is quite enticing, and the animation is, often, quite stellar. Filmation's cartoons of the 80s were always a cut above. They were know to reuse animation to cut costs, but their beautiful background paintings and live-model character references always made their work stand out. Here, it's animation meant for cinematic release, so it's at another level to what we're used to seeing out of the studio's TV output. Anime influences can be felt in the work, and the visualization of Stampede is an homage to the classic Disney moment in Fantasia, "The Night on Bald Mountain".  It's all really a cut above.

The story ebbs and flows, showing signs that the Filmation team isn't fully comfortable working in feature length storytelling, but for the most part it's a satisfying watch (in spite of a frequently grating synthesized orchestra score). What gives me pause is the general conceit of using non-descript Native American culture as backdrop for a sci-fi-superhero-western meant to sell toys, a literal commodification of the culture. It would feel less...icky... if there were more Native Americans directly involved with the whole production. Bravestarr is voiced by a white man (Pat Fraley) for cripes sake! Representation matters, not just for what we seen on screen, but who is telling the stories behind the scenes. From my limited caucasian perspective, it seems like none of Bravestarr is meant as offensive, but it's also not doing the good work either. I would love for a First Nations or Native American creative team to revive this property with authenticity. I can imagine a Sterlin Harjo production would be pretty phenomenal. Maybe it's possible if the Masters of the Universe movie does well next year, creating a surge of toy property movies. 

---

Red Rooms (or Les chambres rouge in its native Quebecois tongue) opens on the face of a attractive woman sleeping. Her surroundings are grey, and she is somewhat bundled up. The colour saturation is almost non-existent, intoning the chill of her surroundings. After waking she bundles up her blanket and makeshift pillow, and determinedly walks down the street. Her full-length wool coat is tailored perfectly, she looks far too beautiful and put together to be unhoused...but we don't know. We next see her entering a building, being scanned, having her possessions checked at security, and once through she finds her destination...a smallish courtroom where she sits in the back of three aisles. 

We learn that a case is just beginning in this courtroom, with the prosecution and defence delivering their opening arguements. The case involves the kidnapping, assault, mutilation of three teenage girls, and the prosecution alerts the jury to the fact that there is video footage of two of the three murders that were filmed and sold on the dark web. It's a grisly story, and as the lawyers deliver their speeches, the camera floats around the courtroom, sometimes fixating on the attorney speaking, or the one who is not, or the accused sitting in a plexiglass box looking bored, or on the woman we met in the opening frame of the film.

This is Kelly-Anne (Juliette Gariepy), she is ostensibly the film's protagonist, but for much of the film she is basically unknowable. Kelly-Anne is, we learn, not homeless, she just camps out each evening nearby the courthouse in order to keep her seat in the small viewers galley.  She is a model, she is also an avid (and successful) online poker player, and she is very web/computer savvy (she hacked her off-the-shelf AI assistant and operates it off a private server). 

Kelly-Anne, we see, fixates on the mother of one of the victims in court, more than she even leers at the accused, and she seems slightly paranoid when the crown's cybersecurity expert looks at her too long. We just never understand why. She is caught by press coming out of the courtroom, but she doesn't seem interested in speaking to them, unlike the other young woman, Clementine (Laurie Babin) who ventured in from Northern Quebec to watch the trial with an unhealthy fixation on the man on trial.

Clementine thinks she's found a kindred spirit in Kelly-Anne, but the model/hacker gives nothing away. She never confirms which side she's on, just that it seems very important to her to be in attendance at the trial.

The score to Red Rooms is exceptionally minimal, to the point that the soundtrack of the film, anytime we're in Kelly-Anne's high-rise apartment, is simply the whistling of the wind as it scrapes the side of the building. The possibilities of what Kelly-Anne's interest in the film are plenty... like, was she an early survivor of the accused, or is she like Clem just obsessed with him, or is she a true crime junkie, or was she an accomplice or somehow involved, or even the murderer. Whenever Gariepy supremely reserved performance threatens to tell on her, she does something else -- sometimes overt, sometimes nuanced -- that completely undermines prior assumptions. Her behaviour gets pretty whackadoo late in the film, and it's not entirely certain if it's performance, and if so, for whom.

Red Rooms quietly made some 2024 top ten lists of critics I follow, and from the capsule reviews I was expecting something more... conventionally thrilling, and was so happy to find that it got my heart racing because this curiosity that is Kelly-Anne is such an unknown quantity.

This is, as I like to say, a deliberately paced film, and definitely not for the impatient. It makes you squirm because of subject matter, and the time it spends contemplating it, and the time spent with these people who are perhaps too interested in it.  It is an unsettling film despite having no overtly grotesque visuals, just the insinuation of them, of knowing they exist, and sometimes hearing vague audio and seeing peoples' reactions to them. If it is a film commenting on anything, it is our society's fascination with murders and murderers, and how often, in the process of examining this fascination, victims and their stories are forgotten.

---

Julio Torres as a comedian, performer, writer, and artist is a very distinct voice. It's not just that he was born and raised in El Salvador, nor that he is a queer performer, although both are very much a part of his presence, whether on stage or screen. No, what makes Torres so distinct is he is an unapologetic weirdo whose sense of humour can best be described as obliquely surreal. His comedy special, My Favourite Shapes, in which he sits in the center of a conveyor belt that enters and exits off stage behind him, and dispenses oddball toys and abstractly shaped objects which he then discusses as he presents them to the audience by way of a projector...well, it's one of the most unique comedy routines I've seen in a long time. It was bizarre, strangely frivolous and yet seemed deeply personal and spoke much to Torres' voice and how he sees the world.  He's also the creator of Los Espookys, the hilarious Spanish language HBO show about Mexican hipsters who put their homegrown special effects makeup to work via a haunting-for-hire enterprise, and as a writer on SNL he wrote one of my all-time favourite sketches, "Wells for boys".

Problemista is Torres' first directorial effort which at once seems both personal and yet distant from connecting to real emotions. It can be a challenge for creators who excel in the surreal to ground their work with the relatable. They are capable in inviting you into their unique point of view, but have a much harder time with helping you understand them.

In Problemista, Torres plays Alejandro, a sensitive young man who finds himself in New York with the desire to work as a toy designer for Hasbro, but instead winds up, through happenstance, being the personal assistant to an artist's widow, Elizabeth, played by Tilda Swinton. What a get for a debut feature.

Alejandro, facing deportation, is left dangling on the end of a thread as Elizabeth yo-yos him around. He's desperate enough to work for this woman who is, at best, unhinged, at worse severely mentally unwell. She is loud and irrational and seems to get her way primarily because people will do what she wants just to get away from her (or get her away from them). She seems to live in another reality and definitely not interested in being part of the polite society we'll talk about in our next film.

Swinton delivers a tour-de-force performance, sweeping into every scene as Elizabeth, sucking all the air out of the room, and then telling everyone around her it's not enough and that they need to give her more. I've worked for a woman like this some time ago.  She was a person who lived in a world that only rotated around them, and considered other people infrequently, if at all, unless they could serve her agenda in some way. Elizabeth is a tad more extreme than this ex-boss of mine, but not by much. People like Elizabeth exist, and I've seen them. They're awful.

Torres' demure performance as Alejandro, complete with an affected shuffle-step walk, and a shrinking inside himself physicality, is one meant to be dominated by Swinton, and pretty much anyone else he encounters.  But unlike The Devil Wears Prada, where an assistant discovers their absolutely horrible boss is human human afterall, there's no such discovery for Alejandro. In fact, he seems to see Elizabeth in a light nobody else does, he seems to understand her and her motivations and her objectives, somehow...and he actually learns from her how to be more confident and assertive. 

It's not a hard film to like, but it's a difficult film to love, because Alejandro's demureness is so easily overshadowed. It's a fine line between playing a shrinking violet character and disappearing as a screen presence. Torres keeps the film, and Alejandro's life just weird enough to remain interesting. I was expecting this to be a much weirder film. The opening moments, taking us through young Alejandro's toy obsessed childhood with his artist/designer mother, is visually very vibrant and odd, but it's fleeting. Torres' New York (probably for budgetary reasons) isn't nearly as surreal. There are only glimmers of Torres' inventiveness, like his toy pitches to Hasbro, his visualization of the rigged system of American immigration, and a decidedly uncomfortable personification of Craigslist. 

I was hoping Torres would explode out of the gate as our next Michel Gondry, but it looks like we're just going to have to be patient.

---

My grandmother - my mom's mom - was a woman of propriety. Things had to be a certain way, like the way a table was set, or a bed was made, or a home was kept. We had to behave and speak a certain way in being part of a polite society. Many subjects were not to be discussed, and most definitely certain words were not to be said. I recall having my filthy mouth washed out with soap once or twice (the lesson being "don't swear around Grandma").

I considered this propriety to be a generational thing, but upon contemplating the message of Wicked Little Letters, it is much more the product of sexism and abuse. It's not generational, it's cultural. The expectation of women as subservient, of taking care of cooking and cleaning and otherwise staying out of the way. In this type of culture, women are barely permitted freedom of thought or expression, they certainly aren't permitted education or agency. There are seemingly more of these cultures around the world today than aren't.

Set in the southern coastal English town of Littlehampton post-World War I, Wicked Little Letters, is the true-ish story of decorum being scandalously broken by way of a series of wicked, nasty, filthy letters delivered to one Miss Edith Swan (Olivia Coleman, Secret Invasion), at this point a spinster still living at home in her mid-50's, still under the thumb of her controlling father (Timothy Spall, Chicken Run).

The most likely culprit is their next door neighbour Rose Gooding (Jessie Buckley, Men), a widow and single mom, and also an Irish immigrant and a real liberated woman, whose no-holds-barred, profane way of speaking bemuse and shock in equal measure. As Rose states, though, she has no reservations about expressing herself, so why would she resort to writing anonymous letters to say what she would already say out loud?

The scandal hits national level, and Rose is an easy scapegoat. The film is very clear about the hypocrisy of this mass propriety, as the men expect women to behave a certain way, to be unsullied by any awareness of lewd or profane words or acts, and yet in closed quarters the men talk this way about such things with jovial frivolity, as "Woman Police Constable" Gladys Moss (Anjana Vasan, We Are Lady Parts) witnesses. She is torn between "knowing her place" as the town's first woman officer, and actually serving justice, when her male counterpart is an idiot and her superior is lazy. ACAB, man.

It's difficult to talk about the film without revealing the writer of the letters, so we'll discuss more some of the subject matter after the Spoilers cut, but just to say that it's not actually a mystery that the film holds close to its chest and it reveals the answer to the audience (but not the characters in story) about the midway point.

Coleman and Buckley are both phenomenal actresses, and they're both excellent here.  I don't think I've ever seen Coleman deliver a bad performance, and she is has a lot to do here, as Edith is torn between the expectations of her from her father, her lapsed friendship with Rose, and the notoriety that she's received as a result of being a victim of the letters. Demeanour shifts are frequent, and Coleman has mastered her control of nuanced facial expressions. I don't know if I've seen Buckley in a role like this before, where she's sort of comic relief, but also an emotional lynchpin. She has a zeal, a liveliness, and an untamed natuer that flies in the face of the stiff-upper-lip/well-I-never crowd that is so delightfully appealing. She is the antidote to the buckled-down, boring existence of Littehampton.

The film utilizes colour-blind casting which is in equal measure admirable and distracting since nothing is ever mentioned about anyone's race or background. I know I was expecting the elder Swan, when ranting about his neighbour Rose, to bring up her Black boyfriend in a derogatory way, but he never does. The film holds squarely in its lane in examining sexism. Even its critique of the police, and their structures winds up rather toothless in the end.  It's a film that says much, and rewardingly, but had the potential to say even more.

[Toastypost]

**SPOILERS**


It's really to no one's surprise when we find out that the writer of the letters to Edith Swan is none other than Edith herself.  The letters seemed to be spurred by befriending Rose, and revealing in her liberation, but then having that friendship quashed by her father. So she, in secrets, begins to liberate herself by way of writing the most foulest things she can think of. That those thoughts are directed at herself is a product of a caged woman loathing her inability to escape the cage, and it's telling that when the letters extend beyond her, that they are directed at the other women of the town, she's admonishing them all for their upholding of the systems that keep them down. It's equally telling that she never writes a letter to the person she fears the most, her father.  Edith's greatest sin is not writing the letters, but letting Rose take the fall. In her admiration (and emulation) of Rose, she also cant escape her patriarchal thinking, that Rose's liberties as a woman are somehow criminal and deserve to be punished and reigned in. Afterall, why should Rose be allowed to curse and cavort so freely when Edith cannot?

It is a bittersweet ending when Edith is found out and sentenced and carted off to jail. She is a victim herself, afterall, and yet, being sent to prison allows her freedom from her father for the first time in her life. The downside is it is still jail, though, and whose to say she won't encounter a whole institution of men (and women) looking to subjugate her just like her Father?

I think back to my Grandmother, and it's distinctly possible she had a father who was somewhat like Edith's father, who demanded a certain discipline and propriety, and that her mother would have upheld such structures in the household [edit. not exactly a true assumption on my part, but generational trauma resonates in expectations and behavioural norms].  I know my Grandmother had husbands who were maybe less forcefully demanding, but expectant of such norms. My Grandmother also worked, she had a number of jobs throughout her life which began out of necessity, having fled an abusive relationship with two small children. Despite marrying again (and again) she retained a definite drive and work ethic, perhaps a desire to stand on her own two feet, to not need to rely upon a man financially. In her own ways, she broke free of the patriarchy despite being unable to let go of its legacy of teachings. She was a remarkable woman who led an impressively active life well into her late 80's before dementia robbed her of her resources, and I miss her. 


Saturday, December 7, 2024

T&K's XMas (2024) Advent Calendar: Day 7 - Christmas at Cartwright's

2014, Graeme Campbell (Degrassi: The Next Generation) -- Amazon

The Pirate Computer has been offline so I have been "forced" to dig through whatever Amazon, and my other streaming services can provide me. I would say the pickings are slim, but aren't the pickings always slim (well, minus cookie fattening) when it comes to Hallmarkies?

The Draw: We actually started the evening watching one called A Frosty Affair which started with an interesting premise -- a woman who has been working a remote community teaching post needs to make it to The Big City a nearby town for her wedding. Then she gets snowed in -- like REAL snow, like there are actual snowbanks and actual drifts and everyone is getting around on real snow mobiles. But about 20 minutes into the movie I caught onto the fact, it wasn't an Xmas movie, and on top of the astoundingly terrible performances by everyone, including the lovely Jewel Staite, I had turn it off and find something else.

So the draw for this one? Alicia Witt.

HERstory: This proper Hallmark Channel movie opens with Nicky (Witt, Longlegs), a single mom who has lost her job just before the holidays, and is going from retail outlet to retail outlet looking for even just seasonal work. I just didn't buy it that nobody was hiring unless she started her hunt rather late in the season, but even then, every store in creation has to fire / loses a flake-out so she should have been able to find something. 

But no matter, her neighbour finds out about a position opening down at Cartwright's, the high end department store downtown, the one that is totally not The Hudson Bay on Queen St, nope not that one, no siree, not its signature windows, nor its people dressed in The Bay colours. Anywayz, she doesn't think she has a chance, even with the fancy borrowed dress she is wearing, but she goes. In the waiting room she has dropped her resume, which is returned to her by Nice Guy Bill (Gabriel Hogan, Tacoma FD), a department head who is actually impressed by her resume. Alas, the hiring manager is Fiona (Gabrielle Miller, Corner Gas), who likes Bill, and doesn't want Nicky within 500 yards of Bill.

Of note, there was an earlier daughter-mommy bonding scene where two things happens: 1) daughter decides mommy needs to start dating again, and that date needs to be named Bill; and 2) while walking down an obviously-summer but winter-dressed street (there are bright green oak leaves on the trees over bright green grass), they find an "angel coin". Not sure that is a real thing, but daughter says it is, and the pudgy, bald angel on the coin proves it; said coin is supposed to provide a token upon which to wish.

So, Nicky doesn't get the job, because of Fiona of course, but while trying to get out of the store, she gets stuck on the "employee's only" second floor, where she gets locked in the Santa Dressing Room. As she is trying to get out, a random stranger yells at her about being late, even though the Santa position is highly paid with benefits. Ding! Nicky dresses up as a rather svelte Santa and follows the random strange, whose name is Harry (Wallace Shawn, The Princess Bride) and who looks an awwwwful lot like the head on the coin. He also bears a pin that says "Cartwright Christmas Consultant" and claims he is "from Corporate". Nobody argues. He sets up Nicky on the Santa seat and gives her a magical wink that gives her the ability to read what every kid really wants/needs, and thus she becomes The Perfect Santa even with her barely disguised voice (which the Peanut Gallery claimed made her sound like Invader Zim) and is an instant hit with kids and staff alike.

She also keeps bumping into Bill -- in the elevator, in a coffee shop, at the Xmas tree lot, where he is always friendly, flirty and Nicky obviously feels the same. Daughter (OK, give her a name) Becky also likes the guy. They even try to have a date, but when Bill proclaims a need for honesty in everything (his previous fiance was cheating on him) which gives Nicky cold feet, cuz she cannot afford to come clean about the Santa Subterfuge before the holidays end, as she needs the money.

And then the complication happens. I am pretty sure Fiona tasked a security guard with poking around cuz she didn't trust The Santa, and he catches Nicky at the end of her day -- sans Santa suit. He drags her in front of Fiona and Mr. Cartwright (Ron Lea, Orphan Black) as a shoplifter, and she is forced to come clean as to the Subterfuge. Bill appears to and gets hurt over the deception. Fiona fires her ass.

Note: Mr. Cartwright was not actually named Mr. Cartwright as he was not the store founder or whatever, but he might as well been. He was just one of the big bosses.

Oh, I should mention, Clarence Harry the Angel slash Christmas Consultant has been called away by "the big boss" on another task and isn't present to help her out. He also previously confided his angel nature with Becky because she caught her mother in flagrante (sounds dirtier than the phrase's definition) and was hurt -- but he set it straight so she would know exactly how dedicated a mom Nicky is. 

Buuuut the local news has learned of Nicky's story and is blasting it everywhere, talking about the dedicated mom who played the beloved Santa to all the city's kids. Oh, I should say the Big City is Chicago not Toronto. Definitely not Toronto. Anywayz, said story is learned of by Mr. Cartwright, and he invites Nicky to meet with her. I don't recall exactly why but she goes, and all the staff she worked with is there to apologize. Now that they know the true story, they want to make amends, including Mr. Cartwright firing Fiona and giving Nicky her job. She also learns that Harry the Christmas Consultant was not employed by the store. So, two frauds? Mr. Cartwright doesn't seem to care, he has the woman who made the best Santa ever.

Later on at home Bill shows up. He confesses why he was so hurt, not that she was deceiving people, but because she didn't feel she could confide in him. They make up and kiss. Happy Ever After. Oh, Harry already has his wings, so no bell ringing, but he gets some kudos from The Big Guy.

The Formulae: Is shooting an Xmas movie in what is obviously NOT the winter season one of the formula elements?  I think so. But for the most part, this movie did not follow the standard format as its one trying to do something different. In doing the Santa Subterfuge, you could say she is in fear of losing her "important job" (Santa) if she connects with the Main Dude? Oh, they do do the tree lot !!

Unformulae: So, its not about coming to a PST from the Big City -- its all Big City, all the time. THere is actually a rather lack of Xmas-y setup and situational trappings because..... well, the movie is dominated by Store Santa Mode, and all the kids on his/her lap. So, no Xmas Market, no hot cocoa, no skating on a pond, etc.

True Calling? Yes. Yes, the movie almost entirely takes place inside the store.

The Rewind: Not so much as rewind but the green grass and green trees almost had me pause to confirm it, as did the "angel coin" and its pudgy bald guy depiction.

The Regulars: Alicia Witt and Gabriel Hogan have done a respectable number of Hallmarkies. That's about it.

How does it Hallmark? Somewhat? I mean, its obviously doing the "little bit of Xmas Magic" thing instead of the formula, but it does make a nice, if somewhat tempered connection between the leads. 

How does it movie? No, not even as a low-grade It's a Wonderful Life rip-off where an angel intervenes to make someone's life better.

How Does It Snow?  LMAO, they didn't even try.

Saturday, November 23, 2024

Watching: Over the Garden Wall

2014, download

I am often, in my head and on this blog, whinging about how most things are just "meh" or on occasion, "OK". But on rare occasions something comes along and I yell, as I did on social media (FB, cuz yer old), "OMG, how am I just hearing about this?!?!" And I heard about it from Marmy, who saw the 10th Anniversary Short on YouTube. That was followed by me finding the original short film, or pilot if you wish, called "Tome of the Unknown". And after that, a quick run for the full mini-series, which is commented on below.

And that's a rock fact !!

What 100. Wirt and Gregory have become lost in the Unknown, basically a fairy tale forest. A bluebird named Beatrice, a cursed girl, joins them and the three have a bunch of adventures while trying to find their way out of the forest. The Unknown is a weird place full of fairy tale monsters, a woodsman cutting down haunted trees, a stalking Beast, Mississippi river boat frogs, American folksy vegetable people, etc. Its an odd mashup of Americana circa the 40s-50s and traditional magical stuff that plays out like a shroom dream. Eventually we learn what's really going on, and that's a bit disappointing.

1 Great. The dynamic between Wirt, a worrisome teenage boy, and his utterly bonkers little half-brother Gregory is probably the best thing about the show. Wirt tolerates Gregory's scatter brained, always optimistic approach to the world, and while he seems to genuinely seems to care for his brother, the kid's clearly ... odd. There is no explanation as to why Greg walks around with a tea pot as a hat and carries a frog he constantly renames, nor why Wirt kind of looks like a attic trunk wizard, until there is... and again, that's a bit disappointing. And while we are in a fairy tail like environment, the characters are clearly from modern times, though not really out of sorts with the idea being in a fairy tale... they just need to get to the other side of the Unknown and everything will be alright.

Wirt calls him "Greg" for the most part, but really, he's a Gregory.

1 Good. The weird mashup of Americana with fairy tale is fun and weird and disjointing. And along with that ideal comes a ton of music & songs, which are all sorts of folksy, quirky jazz diddies, which are, to quote Elijah Wood, "if this show were a record, it would be played on a phonograph." I am sure that for music nerds there is a whole breakdown as to the stylistic choices made, and the musicians chosen to score the show and write & perform the songs.

1 Bad. Honestly, I didn't care that the show "explained" away the weird and wonderful world Wirt and Greg were travelling through. I like my weird to be weird for weirdness sake. But, given that there were obvious hints as to the why's and how's, I cannot begrudge the idea they did that episode. Also, along the same line, the "pilot" was a short on its own, and it was just a few shades weirder / more magical than the show itself. I wish it had embraced that odd stylistic choice and doubled down on it, instead of softening it a bit to make an entire season. 

SPOILER.

But, as a meta aside, like the show turned out to be just a dream / transportation to a magical world while the kids were drowning in an icey lake, once I woke up from the show (finished watching it) it kind of fade, like a wonderful dream you just want to get back to. I hope it can find a permanent spot somewhere in my brain so we can return each Autumn for a rewatch.

Monday, November 18, 2024

KWIF: Hundreds Of Beavers (+4)

KWIF = Kent's Week in Film, which in this case is actually Kent's Week in Film two weeks ago and then again this past weekend. Assuming I finish this post this weekend.

This "Week":
Hundreds of Beavers (2022, d. Mike Cheslik - Tubi)
Cast a Deadly Spell (1991, d. Martin Campbell - HBO)
Absentia (2014, d. Mike Flanagan - AmazonPrime)
Hush (2016, d. Mike Flanagan - Tubi)
Emilia Pérez (2024, d. Jacques Audiard - Netflix)

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A lot of movies have tried to emulate zany cartoon energy in live action. It so rarely works. Whether they're taking inspiration from Tex Avery or Chuck Jones or they're trying to put live actors into a Hanna Barbera or Jay Ward property, the results have mostly been of the "not great" sort. Outside of films that blend human actors with animated characters (again, more misses than hits), the only flat out successful humans-as-cartoons production I can think of is Stephen Chow's masterpiece, Kung-Fu Hustle.

Hundreds of Beavers (surprise! It's not porn!) isn't quite that level, but as an independent production it is quite ambitious and remarkably clever in its aping of animated forms. The film's creators, director Mike Cheslik and star Ryland Brickson Cole Tews, credit the slapstick of the 20's and 30's silent and black and white era of cinema as inspiration, but it's hard to not see the Loony Tunes influence painted all over the first act, especially as characters pop in and out of rabbit holes that join different points of the terrain.

The film opens with a merry melody that spells out the disaster that befell our applejack-selling protagonist, a drunkard name Jean Kayak. Left with nothing in the dire 1800's winter wilderness, Jean is forced to learn how to hunt and trap in order to survive, and square off against the ingenuity of the wild animals he cohabitates with.

He finds the trading post where he can exchange his hides or fish for goods that will level up his trapping ability. The trading post also houses a fair belle who can skin a carcass in record time, and their flirtatious connection in the lonely wilderness is much to the chagrin of her father. 

The "animals" of the film -- beavers, wolves, racoons, rabbits, even a horse -- are just people in cheap mascot suits, but in washed-out black-and-white contrast, the cheapness has kind of the perfect effect.  Especially early on, it's the suits as much as anything else that establish the surreal world of the film.  

The environments are snowy and vibrantly white, which gives director/editor/effects creator Cheslik all he needs to disguise his deceptively rudimentary effects. As much as the film takes inspiration from slapstick and cartoons, it's also feeding off of video game structures at their most primal level. Feeling much more "Commodore 64" than "X-Box One", Hundreds of Beavers finds over it's hero levelling up and level restarting constantly over its 108 minutes, until its final act which goes full-blown Super Mario as Jean Kayak must navigate his way through the massive and intricate fortress the beavers have constructed. There's a Temple Run chase, a Frogger-like crossing, there's map discovery and puzzle solving of the try and try again variety. 

The film's title card doesn't really emerge until the 30-minute mark, complete with another song and credits, but it feels like it should be at the point where a cartoon with this kind of energy would normally end. Yet it keeps going for [time check] another 75 minutes. From what we've seen to this point, it doesn't feel like there's enough juice to sustain another 75 minutes, but it's a clever switching of gears, changing the pace and rooting down into the silly character drama, establishing relationships and rivalries and running gags that, quite astonishingly, actually sustains the enjoyability and fun of the production.

I should also note the film is completely silent, or at least, there's no spoken dialogue (what dialogue there is we see on olde-style screen cards). The score, from Chris Ryan is absolutely essential to the success of the film, and it's flawless. It's doing so much heavy lifting in a film where every element is pulling more weight than it should bear.  To me it felt like Terry Gilliam drawing Looney Tunes but directed by Guy Maddin. It's irreverent, pushing boundaries, but also reverent towards old cinema styles. It's a film that shouldn't work at all, and that it not only works, but works resoundingly well and manages to sustain it's total running time is an absolute feat (even if I think shaving off 20 minutes would have done it some good).

Dam fun and dam enjoyable.

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Cast A Deady Spell is a fantasy-noir set in an alternate 1940s where everyone seems to have some capability to use magic. It's a film that stars Frank Grillo precursor Fred Ward (Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins) as former cop, now hardboiled P.I. Harry Philip Lovecraft, a good detective who refuses to do magic.  A case comes his way to recover a stolen book, the Necronomicon, which leads H.P. to a swanky club owned by his former partner, an ex-dirty cop also named Harry (Borden, as played by Clancey Brown, Highlander). Singing at the club is Borden's girlfriend, H.P.'s ex, Connie Stone (as played with full femme fatale sultriness by Julianne Moore, Boogie Nights).

There's undead henchmen, gargoyle spies, deadly magic, and clever tricks, not to mention the looming threat of a Lovecraftian elder god. It's a film full of special effects, extensive prosthetics and make-up, not to mention being a period piece, so it's all quite stylized.  Martin Campbell, not yet the man behind Goldeneye, or The Legend of Zorro, or Casino Royale, but he's been in the game for 20 years at this point and shows off all the skills that would put him at the helm of some truly great action and genre pieces [and, to be fair, some not so great ones *cough*Green Lantern*cough*). While not the most lush visual production, everything work quite well in unison. There are no flat beats, no wrong notes, it builds its world adeptly, leaning both into its fantasy and noir influences (it's far heavier on the noir, and it abandons any real attempt at the horror side of Lovecraft).  

So I have to ask... why have I never heard of this before? I know all manners of sci-fi, horror and fantasy films from the era, including a broad range of low budget, direct-to-video garbage (now on Tubi!) but I've never heard of this film from a known director of some renown, with a handful of quality (and, in Moore's case, A-list) actors, with really good special effects, and a thoroughly enjoyable production. 

The answer comes back to the same problem we're facing with streaming: movies that don't go to theatres get lost. They get no promotion, and so there's no awareness of them. They don't get a second life on video, so there's no secondary "new release" push. They just live on in the archives to be randomly discovered. Oh, here's a Jennifer Lopez sci-fi movie I've never heard of, or a hanful of Chris Pine action movies that nobody knows existed, or movies starring Chris Evans we've watched and all forgotten about. Without being released to theatres where it would reveive even a modicum of marketing push, there's no sustaining a movie in the consciousness. They just disappear, a faint whisper of a memory when playing a movie trivia game.

Even now, at the end of this write-up, I've already forgotten the name of this film and had to scroll back up to read it.

[Side note: there is a gay and a trans character in this film who are a couple, and I'm not certain how I feel about their representation. H.P. drops casual slurs and gets physically rough, which I feel is to the detriment of H.P.'s characterization. At the same time, I feel like the couple are treated sweetly and sympathetic by the filmmaker and script, and their fate is tragic which may fall into the "kill your gays" trope, but also so many people die in this thing...so Idunno. Is it inclusive or exploitative?]

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As noted on my previous post, I'm all aboard the Flanagan train, and I'm wading knee deep in the Mike Flanagan waters, but I'm starting to worry it may be too much too soon.  After watching Midnight Mass, I started trolling Toasty's Flanagan reviews past, and I decided to hit up a personal favourite of his, Absentia. Both Midnight Mass and Doctor Sleep impressed me so much I really needed to go back and see Flanagan's beginnings.

Watching Absentia reminded me of watching the films of Benson and Moorehead, The Endless and Resolution... just supremely well executed small-budget indies that intone much grander conceits and ideas without needing any real budget for it.

Here, a woman is in the final stages of having her husband declared dead in absence of a body after 7 years. She's pregnant, having become close to an officer on the case, and she's looking for a new start on life. Her sister, fresh out of rehab from heroin addiction is there for the mutual support feedback loop. 

A couple weird things happen to the sister, and then the husband returns. Questions are asked, emotions are heightened, and the whole world seems to go pear-shaped. The sister's maybe relapse-fuelled investigation yields dozens of disappearances in the neighborhood in all recorded record. There's something going on here. It only gets worse from there.

It's an early example of what Flanagan seems to do exceptionally well, which is set up a supernatural scenario, maybe even a horrifying one, and then let his characters live in that world, getting really intriguing reactions from them as they try to psychologically rationalize what is happening to them, or get a little off kilter from the realization that their understanding of the world is completely upended. Flanagan also likes to toy with religious themes as well as ideas of perception, and with the sister's substance abuse history, her view of what is actually happening is perhaps distorted.

I liked the film a lot, but it's let down by many of its performances. I've noted that Flanagan enjoys giving his characters a monologue (we've watched The Haunting of Hill House since I watched Absentia and that show is absolutely rife with them). It's a stylistic choice of his, as he must know it's utterly unnatural for people to monologue like that in the presences of others. What has made it tolerable in most of his productions is skill of the actors in delivering their speech, but here, these indie, probably novice actors, can't quite get there, and they come off pretty clunky.  Also, the only "name" actor in this is Doug Jones, and I would have loved to have so much more of him.

I tried to watch Hush immediately after watching Absentia but it's a film starring a deaf character (unfortunately not an actual deaf performer, instead co-writer and Flanagan's wife Kate Siegel) and I was multitasking so I couldn't track the subtitles and had to stop early on. What I didn't know was that within 15 minutes there's no more sign language and most of the film is pretty wordless.

The gist is Siegel plays a deaf writer who is terrorized by a serial killer. The killer has murdered her neighbour and now is outside her home holding her hostage, toying with her rather than going straight for the kill.  It becomes a tense cat-and-mouse game as the killer waits to see what his victim will do, only she starts incrementally getting the better of him, though not without taking a few hits herself.

I don't like home invasion thrillers/horrors. It's a definite thing that causes me anxiety, so movies like this, even when they're not particularly very good, are still pretty effective in raising my blood pressure, and that's really all Siegel and Flanagan are banking on here.

It feels like a small, contained indie production, like Absentia, but with much better cameras and lighting. It looks good. And if you don't think, like, at. all. about it, it's pretty intense. But the more you start looking at it, the more the flaws become apparent. 

The mask the killer wore had a texture of melted flesh, with a slight smirk on it, which gave the killer a cockiness that made sense when he decides to toy with her. But he very quickly reveals his face and the threat level drops sooo many notches once he does.  Something about that mask really brought out the angry, misogynistic alt-right white kid vibes that dissipate once we see John Gallagher Jr.s face.

There's also not much, if at all, in this home invasion/hostage thriller that utterly necessitates the lead character being deaf, except for the gruesome opening murder scene in which Siegel's bloodied neighbour is banging on the patio glass with Siegel completely oblivious. It's not an essential element to the story, or really, the character.

Siegel does a very good job at alternating between afraid, in pain, and steeling herself to do something probably stupid or brave or daring. She's the defacto final girl by nature of being pretty much the only girl in the cabin in the woods.

Overall, I was entertained but it felt like it was maybe a 30-40 minute short film stretched out into a feature length, and it's easily the weakest and least Flanagan-esque of his works I've seen so far.

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It's been a stressful few weeks at work with time being eaten up by demands in the off hours, so while I was working on a volunteer project I did so with Hallmarkies as a backdrop. I got three of them in before I finished by project and once complete I needed something ... not so trashy and mindless to watch.  I had clocked that Emilia Pérez was available on Netfilx and it was one of those titles I had stored in the back of my brain, even though only had a vague memory of what it was.  What I knew was it was boldly a musical about a drug kingpin who is a trans woman and wants to transition. It also won the Jury Prize at Cannes.

What I also learned, less than a minute into the film, is it's set in Mexico, almost completely in Spanish and stars Zoe Saldana (as well as Selina Gomez, of the familiar names), all from a white, cisgender French director.

Saldana is, Rita, an exceptionally competent lawyer overlooked by her superiors because of racism. She's approached by drug kingpin Manitas in secret with the promise of untold riches if she can help source out his transformation. Manitas tells her his whole life is a condition of his circumstances and as wealthy and powerful as he is, he cannot live this life anymore. He would commit suicide, if not for the desire to first live life as she truly would like to live it, to experience the world as her true self.

Manita's wife (Gomez) and children are escorted to Switzerland by Rita, while Manitas undergoes her surgeries, and Manita's death is faked and reported on television. Satisfied with the job, Rita is set free, with her riches, to live her life. 

Except, four years later, Rita, now living big shot lawyer life in London, meets Emilia Pérez, and Rita soon fears that this is a spectre from her past coming to kill her. Instead Emilia once again wants her help to bring her family back to Mexico, under the guise of being Manitas' beloved aunt.

While settling in, Emilia and Rita meet a woman searching for her son, who has been missing for 10 years. Emilia knows through old connections she can find out where the body is buried, and does. Emilia soon finds a path for her wealth and atonement for past sins, in trying to uncover the whereabouts of the hundreds of thousands of missing persons, all likely a victim of the drug cartels of which, in a past life, she was a part.

It is indeed a bold film, weaving between its criminal elements and its trans elements, it's attempts to be both an ally to trans women and innocent victims of the drug trade in Central America, all while jutting in and out of song and dance numbers that, more often than not, never fully flourish, or feel complete. The lyrics dip in and out of singing and dialogue in a way that's largely unsatisfying. Some tunes that have catchy hooks never play out in full song. I never thought about pulling up the tracks on Spotify because they never felt like whole songs.  

The nature of this hesitant musical is intriguing in its own right, and I found myself drawn to its rhythms, its beautiful costuming, its lush colours...even its dingy settings were captured so perfectly. But all the while  I was feeling uneasy in my gut with how it was portraying its transness, its victim advocacy and its conceptualization of the drug trade.  It all felt... at least to some small degree... exploitative.

I never truly got a sense of the characters in the film, what they actually were feeling. In a musical, emotions are supposed to come out in song, but the emotions presented seemed beside the plot of the film. I didn't connect with these characters like I wanted to, and every turn that sent the plot in a new direction seemed to put more distance between me and them.  I think the performances throughout were fabulous, but the material let them down.

I came out of the film feeling like I watched something very unique, but I didn't feel enriched by it. I didn't feel like the film ever really dealt properly with the material it was presenting. I was entranced, but not enlightened.

In watching the film, I was reminded of Annette, another askew musical by a French director that couldn't be more different, story-wise, and yet tonally felt so much the same.  Probably a very fucked up double bill to explore one night.

[I'll come back to all those Hallmarkies mentioned at the top of this review another day]