Showing posts with label sequel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sequel. Show all posts

Saturday, October 3, 2026

31 Days of Halloween: Ready or Not 2: Here I Come

2026,  Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, Tyler Gillett (Abigail) -- Disney+

We were rather charmed by the first movie; Kent liked it as well and he also enjoyed this one. 

So, to roughly recap the first one, which I should have mentally done before clicking Start on this one, but waitress Grace MacCaullay (Samara Weaving, Azrael) married into the old money Le Domas family. On their wedding day the whole family gathers at the gothic mansion to observe an old family ritual -- pull a card from a puzzle box, which denotes a traditional game. Unfortunately Grace pulls "Hide & Seek" which says the rest of the family has to hunt her down; hide until dawn, or die. Grace gets quickly fed up and dispatches everyone who comes up against her, and survives until dawn, only to witness the remaining family explode to gorey goo, subjected to failing to abide by the curse. 

This movie picks up on the doorstep of the mansion, the morning after, Grace covered in blood, her wedding dress and yellow hightops soaked with blood and gore. She passes out and wakes up in a hospital; handcuffed to the bed. Its not like murdering a bunch of people (in defense, of course) and burning down their house would go unnoticed. She is to be questioned by the cops, but is interrupted by the arrival of her "emergency contact", her estranged sister Faith (Kathryn Newton, Freaky). The sisters do not like each other, Grace having walked out on her younger sister when she was 18, seeking to create a better life, before inviting Faith back into it.

Interesting. It was hard not to compare the similarities between "Ready Or Not" and the Zazie Beetz flick "They Will Kill You" but this sequel sets it up to even more similarities. 

Meanwhile a bunch of other Old Money Families are receiving phone calls from a lawyer mentioning that the Le Domases have died and a new seat has opened up at the table. Its like the John Wick world but with devil worship instead of assassination. While Grace and Faith argue it out over their family drama, one of the potentials, Bill Wilkinson (Kevin Durand, The Strain), shows up at the hospital with all his best knives, seeking to take out Grace before she can take the seat. But that's against the rules; just as he's about to kill Grace, he explodes into gooey bloody bits -- the Devil, or Mr. Le Bail (Belial? get it?) as the movies call him, has a standard gimmick. Immediately after, the Lawyer (Elijah Wood, The Monkey) appears wearing a gas mask, immobilizes Grace and Faith and takes them away.

Faith has been mixed up in Grace's (new) family drama even before she can get a read on what the fuck is going on. They awaken to Exposition Time, where the Lawyer explains that any of the families' chosen hunters who kills Grace, gets the ring, which provides ultimate power. The two girls run out into the golf course and the Game is Afoot. 

Each of the hunters has their own gimmick: the twins have a flintlock pistol and a weird fisted warhammer. Viraj Rajan (Nadeem Umar-Khitab, Brilliant Minds) wears a mask and swings an east Indian sword. El Caido (Nestor Carbonell, Bates Motel) uses a sniper rifle, badly. Wan Cheng Xing (Olivia Cheng, Warrior) has her own sword. And each of their attending family members hang out in the green room watching the show unfold. If there family member dies, they can either forfeit the chance, or sign up (in blood) to take the hunter's place. If any of them kill each other then they explode in gore, along with any surviving family members. 

Creative fights, violent deaths, betrayals and subterfuge, and quips galore, eventually leads to Grace making a bargain with Titus Danforth (Shawn Hatosy, Fear the Walking Dead), to marry him -- he gets the ring, no death required. Except Grace turns the table on that, essentially dooming every single fucking one of the cult, family members and supporting staff all, much to the amusement of The Lawyer. Grace and Faith get to walk out into the sunrise with the cult gone and ... well, the cops are still probably gonna hunt her down.

I still find it weird that we can consider Satanic Activity, murder, mayhem and exploding people as "fun" but there we are -- Horror Adjacent. There's not a lot deep going on here, but some light commentary on Good vs Evil being useless constructs when it comes to running the world. We also get some fun cameos (David Cronenburg as the Danforth patriarch, and that short gooey scene with Durand) and all the Canadian supporting actors you can shove into a movie; and Michelle Gellar as Ursula Danforth.

I think we need a proper horror movie up next.

Tuesday, May 12, 2026

KWIF: The Devil Wears Prada 2 (+4)

 KWIF=Kent's Week in Film. It was a real toss up: final two episodes of Daredevil: Born Again's second season, or the sequel to The Devil Wears Prada. It was no toss up. Daredevil has been, to put it bluntly, repetitive and boring, while TDWP2 is an event! It wasn't even a competition.

This Week:
The Devil Wears Prada 2 (2026, d.  David Frankel - in theatre)
Mortal Kombat II (2026, d. Simon McQuoid - in theatre)
Keyhole (2011, d. Guy Maddin - tubi)
Deadly Outlaw: Rekka (2002, d. Takashi Miike - tubi)
Tokyo: The Last Megalopolis (1988, d. Akio Jissoji - tubi)

I am not a journalist. Despite having been a writer and for many online resources for over 30 years, nothing I've done is what I would call journalism. The closest I came was a 3 year stint on editorial at my student newspaper in University (I thought this was an extraordinary and fundamental time in my life but in hindsight, turns out it was a somewhat juvenile and retroactively embarrassing era for both myself and the paper, full of (my own) sloppy work, ill-informed editorials, and errors in judgement. My desire to be more like the Harvard Lampoon or Mad Magazine than anything with journalistic integrity (which is not to diminish the work of my collaborators, but I was really not up to the task...but I digress). 

I got a degree in business, not journalism, and I cared about each equally (which is to say, minimally). It's probably for the best I never went into journalism professionally (though I tried on a few occasions). I don't have the stones for it. Much like being an artist, being a journalist requires sacrifice, and the rewards are not monetary, and you have to love it (which I don't...I respect it, don't love it so much). Plus, in the past 15 years or so, there's been a decided attack on journalism as an institution. Truth telling is now all a matter of perspective (or so the 1% overlords would have us believe). It's been a rough dozen-plus years for the media. Most of my favourite writers are now doing their own Substack or Substack-adjacent writing, and supplementing any written work with podcasting. The world is a lesser place for social media having supplanted traditional media as people's primary source of news (or, rather, "news"). There's no security to working in the world of journalism.

The Devil Wears Prada 2 is a sequel that doesn't need to exist. Nothing about the end of The Devil Wears Prada demands we know more. But now that it does exist, that it sets itself on top of the backdrop of the failing state of traditional media and the billionaire bros who snap up media outlets so they can control the narrative with their detached-from-the-layman world view...well, at least there's something for it say, something to explore in this moment, even if it doesn't quite have the firmest grasp on its message.

We find, when this film starts, Andy Sach (Anne Hathaway) has just won a journalism award but also, at almost the same moment, via text, finds out that she and her entire staff at the newspaper she was writing for have been laid off. Meanwhile Miranda Priestly (Meryl Streep) has just had an expose written about how Runway Magazine has promoted and supported a brand who runs a manufacturing sweatshop. This is a scandal, one which Miranda of 20 years ago would never have found herself in (it's telling in many ways that she has).  The owner of Runway's media parent, Irv Ravitz (Tibor Feldman) needs damage control, and thus returns Andy to Runway, the place where she interned 20 years ago, now as the new features editor.

She reunites with Nigel (Stanley Tucci) and Miranda (who doesn't remember her, or so she says), and is instantly swept into a meeting with their key advertiser, Dior, where Emily (Emily Blunt) now works as retail manager.

Andy finds Miranda in a subdued position relative to where she once was. Still a titan of the industry, print media is all but dead, and the online sphere for Runway has trouble competing with other scroll-and-like spaces. Andy's role is, at first, damage control, but also about trying to raise Runway's profile up.  It needs to be more than just about the pictures, people need to read it for the articles too.  Without saying it, it's attempting to "Teen Vogue" it (where in the mid-2010s Teen Vogue shifted its focus from fashion and entertainment and rapidly gained attention for it's provocative and insightful political articles.... Teen Vogue was collapsed into the parent Vogue in 2025 by its publishing overlords, according to many to stifle its anti-right wing messaging).

Andy's efforts to raise the status of the magazine is noticed in the media, but not represented in the site traffic. She needs a big gambit both to secure her place and to gain at least a modicum of respect from Miranda. She needs to land the white whale interview: Sasha Barnes (Lucy Liu). The ex-wife of one of the world's richest men (a chuckling tech bro doofus played brilliantly under gobs of makeup by Justin Theroux) is now the world's richest woman, but Sasha hasn't given an interview in the three years since the divorce. Andy lands the interview (conducted by Miranda but the article written by Andy) and not only gets in Miranda's good graces once again but becomes a bit of a legend.  

The crux of the film, however, is that no matter what one good story brings for a day, a week, or a month, it's not enough. The cycles move on so fast that there's no time to rest, and media and journalism are still a dying form, unable to demand enough attention in the attention economy when there's injured baby foxes being fed milk from a bottle or video game live streams that run for two days straight to compete with. Runway is on the table to be sold...or on the chopping block to be axed.

While the first act is all about Andy getting reacquainted with a world she left behind 20 years earlier and noting both the similarities and shocking differences, the second act is about settling in, about establishing a new life in a roller-coaster world of uncertainty and insecurity. Miranda is the only one who seems like teflon-coated steel, nothing penetrates and nothing sticks...but even she is showing signs that that it's all actually getting to her too. The world is changing and she can only do so much to change with it.

The third act then becomes about Andy's perception of the situation, that the threat to Runway, one of the last bastions of traditional media, is the warning siren and that saving it means much more than just saving a magazine but providing hope for the entire industry of journalism.  It's idealist and optimistic, and it takes the audience on that ride of hope and scrappy-can-do attitude.

And then Miranda slaps her in the face with reality. It's only a matter of time. There's a boa wrapped tightly around every industry, squeezing tighter and tighter trying to milk them for everything they're worth, until they're worth nothing, at least monetarily. The solution to the troubles in this picture all rely on the good graces of an ultra-rich benefactor to whom minimal, or no returns (or even negative returns) are worth the investment for the art and integrity. You can't monetize artistry and integrity.

This, mercifully, isn't a naive film, although at times Andy is far too naive as a character, and Miranda is far too withholding to fully invest in the driving story forces at play. It does oversimplify its narrative so that it can have a satisfying ending while still being cognizant that there remains a dark cloud overhead and the struggle will continue after the last pan of the New York skyline.

The Devil Wears Prada was a really good movie that has become sort of legendary. The sequel doesn't tarnish the legend, though it fails to find its own legendary status in the process. It's a pretty picture, with tons of fabulous outfits, sets, and settings (and boy does Anne Hathaway look more amazing than she ever has), all of which are a must, and it mercifully doesn't wallow in the past. It does unfortunately seems obliged to put Andy kind of in the same place she was in during the first movie, even though she has two decades of prestigious experience, world travelling and her own life under her belt. It's natural for someone to find themselves repeating patterns of behaviour when with certain people, but I just felt like she should be much more assured than she is here. Similarly, Miranda shows next to no sign of growth, yet she feels muted compared to the ruthless ferocity which she had in the prior film. But she's also almost 70 now, and there does come something of a softening with age which we should find believable.

Already a massive box office success, the best we can say about The Devil Wears Prada 2 is that it does fine as a sequel. It doesn't at all diminish what came before, nor does it immediately discount its own existence. I find myself wishing that it were more interested in its setting, exploring the erosion of media and journalism, especially given the eyes it has on it, but that's not the audience its serving (this isn't The Paper 2 or Broadcast News 2). It serves its audience well...or well enough.

---


I didn't see the 2021 iteration of Mortal Kombat (but Toasty did) and, to be honest, I didn't care to. From all reports it was attempting to be a character-driven narrative exploring the characters of Sub-Zero and Scorpion, and that there was not, in fact, any Mortal Kombat to be had. I mean, what's the point then?

I am by no means invested in Mortal Kombat as a property. The last version of the game I played was its original incarnation. But that said, I've long had a soft spot for the '95 cinematic treatment from Paul WS Anderson, a film that has aged surprisingly well in that it was always kind of hokey and wasn't taking the whole thing too seriously. The last thing we need to do is take Mortal Kombat too seriously.

It seemed like (at least from Toasty's report) MK2021 was taking things too seriously. Mortal Kombat II wants you to think it's not taking things too seriously... but it still is. What story there is within the film is wildly unfocussed and largely predictable, with absolutely no tension built along the way (for a number of reasons). The movie starts by introducing the concept of "Mortal Kombat", where two realms, instead of waging war, compete in a tournament of 10 fights. The first to win five of these fights is victor and the losing side's realm is theirs. Kitana (Adeline Rudolph) watches her father get brutally defeated by Shao Kahn (Martyn Ford) and her mother and people immediately subjugated under him. He takes her as his daughter (I can't say for certain the scriptwriter was just aping Gamora's story from Guardians of the Galaxy/Infinity War but it's basically the same) which I'm sure will work out fine for everyone as a big happy new family.

Meanwhile Johnny Cage (Karl Urban) is a washed up Stephen Segal-type 90's action star who nobody cares about anymore. He's sad about his life but Lord Raiden (Tadanobu Asano) and Sonya Blade (Jessica McNamee) recruit him for Mortal Kombat, Raiden promising him a greater, more fulfilling destiny. He declines, but, it turns out, he doesn't have a choice.

And so Kitana fights for her father, reluctantly, while Johnny Cage fights for Earth, reluctantly, only it turns out Kitana is a spy for Raiden and Johnny Cage has a warrior within, so the dramatic narrative arcs these characters can take are, well, straight lines rather than curves. Their stories go from A-to-C without even thinking about venturing towards B along the way.

So if there's no real character arcs in this film, surely it will have fun with team dynamics, right? Inner conflict and romances and whatnot? Notsomuch. Or at all. The "team" here, Raiden, Sonya, Johnny, Cole Young (Lewis Tan), Jax (Mechad Brooks), and Liu Kang (Ludi Lin) spend their time together largely spitting exposition. There's no real sense of camaraderie or any sense of these characters becoming friends or connected to each other in any way (we're told that Sonya and Jax are old friends, but do we feel it? Notsomuch). 

The film spends a lot of time trying to circle back on characters from the prior movie, even though they are not central figures here. As such, unless you are really invested in MK2021 then these beats have little to no weight on their own (like, Hiroyuki Sanada returns as Scorpion, but in the underworld, where he resumes his fight against the revived Sub-Zero to no real effect of the story at hand). 

So, if it fails at developing anything meaningful with its characters, MKII must be all about the tournament and the fighting, right? Yes and no. It does feature heavily its match-ups, the one-on-one fights, but none of them carry with them the weight of what the stakes of the tournament, and the fate of the "Earth realm". The film brutally fails at finding any tension within the tournament itself. With one or two exceptions, nobody witnesses the fights, so there's no crowd reactions, no cut to team-mates or friends as they watch their friends succeed or fail brutally. There's just nothing exciting outside of maybe a few cool manoeuvres or a particularly gory fatality, and there's not enough of those to justify a feature length movie this uninteresting.

It wouldn't be so bad if the film at least had style, but it's so evident that it was filmed on the Volume or similar on-set digital backdrop technology, and that the crew were either inexperienced with it or didn't have the time to refine their shots. The actors are lit so horrendously that they have a soft glow outline around them much of the time, while the backdrops too often don't feel tangible at all (I will concede that it's entirely possible that watching this on an IMAX screen made this so much more evident than a standard movie screen, or any home viewing implement). The few sets actually constructed feel cheap, much cheaper than an $80million budget would presume.  That, visually, this film feels inferior to the 1995 adaptation of Mortal Kombat is very telling.  That film used mostly practical sets that were well lit and well shot. This film seemed hampered by its constraints and is pretty ugly as a result.  At the very least the 1995 film had a still-iconic techno soundtrack, and this film's score doesn't even seem to be trying. 

There is one sequence not shot on a set, where Johnny, Liu Kang, Sonya and Jax venture into the home terrain of the excessively-toothed character Barada. It's an exterior desert set that has scale and doesn't feel contained by walls or barriers. Since it's outdoors there's a lot of natural light, and it does everyone a world of favours that the rest of the film does not. The fight between Johnny and Barada is fun and silly and feels like the only real payoff for Johnny (or any character for that matter) in the film.

Fans of the franchise will probably get more out of this than I will, but a films at this budget really should be trying for something more than fan service.

---

I'm a bad Canadian cinephile. I don't spend enough time exploring the films or filmmakers of my home country. This is in large part due to the fact that Canadian cinema, by and large, doesn't have the resources that the films of other countries do. And with the exception of Quebec, which has an industry all its own, most of our best talents get co-opted by our neighbours to the South, obfuscating a film's Canadian-ness, if anything remains at all.

There are a few notable filmmakers who have made a name on an international scale that still largely work within the Canadian system and tell stories set within the country.  Guy Maddin is definitely such an auteur, one who likes to combine his fascination with the earliest era of filmmaking with a love of his homeland. Or so I've been told. I've seen maybe one or two of his films in the distant past, and have long been meaning to catch up.

Keyhole, his 2011 effort, was maybe not the first place to start. A psychological noir set in a haunted house, the film follows Ulysses Pick (Jason Patrick) and his gang of thugs as they barricade themselves in Ulysses' home. 

Our key signal that things are askew finds Ulysses' second-in-command telling the dead to face the wall and the living to face forward. The dead, then, march out the back door to face a proper disposal.

Ulysses emerges from the rain with Denny (Brooke Pallson) slung over his shoulder. They're both drenched. Eventually Ulysses will get dry, Denny will always seem perpetually wet, despite a change of clothes.

Ulysses warns the gang the house is haunted and to beware of touching ghosts. Meanwhile he searches the house with Denny in tow, her ability to read into his thoughts aid him in his quest to find his wife Hyacinth (Isabella Rossellini) within the twisted maze of hallways and stairs and doors. 

He is vexed by the ghost of Hyacinth's father (a very nude Louis Negin), who manipulates environments throughout the house, though does not seem to have any real control.

The journey is an abstract one, lacking decisive logic, living between metaphors. As a film, it is an exploration of Ulysses' life, his failures as a husband and father, and it questions whether these failures mean anything to him.

It's a puzzling film which it both its greatest and most detrimental asset. Bending your brain to understand what it is Maddin is trying to convey has its rewards when you can reach an understanding in what you see, but the dream logic that prevails often has no meaning, serving primarily to keep the audience off balance.

Maddin's first digitally-shot film, it's a black-and-white production but doesn't have the olde-timey feel (the heavy make-up of the silent or gangster film eras, for example) and it doesn't look particularly good. The sets, lighting and costume seem constructed on a shoestring budget (which they probably were) and lack the usual hand-crafted flair of the films of Maddin's I'm (not-so-)familiar with.

What probably lets the film down the most, however, is the character of Ulysses, who just isn't very compelling. Whether it's Patrick's performance or what he was given to work with, I was never certain why we should care about Ulysses or his journey.

Once I get into the swing of watching Maddin's pictures, acquainting myself anew with his sensibilities, I might soften on Keyhole, but as stands I found it a pretty rough watch.

---

If I were to attempt to catch up on the works of Takasi Miike, it would have to be the only movies I watched in a year. The director has made around 120 films since his debut in the early 1990s and dozens upon dozens of television episodes. That prolific level of output seems unprecedented, and one has to wonder what gets sacrificed in the process of producing as such speed.

Like Guy Maddin above, I'm not particularly well-versed in Miike's repertoire, certainly not enough to speak to any overall style or sensibilities (a quick search of this blog finds no entries of Miike films...which surprises, me. I thought for sure Toasty would have one or two Miikes written up). 

Deadly Outlaw: Rekka (aka "Noboru Ando's True Outlaw Tales: Raging Fire") opens with a primal scream over a heavy metal track. The camera tracks a young man running full tilt through the streets of Tokyo (intercut with flashes of...other things, a perplexing montage of images at this stage of a film to be sure). Finally the young man, guns drawn, leaps over a small barricading wall of an outdoor stairwell and begins firing on the group of men below (clearly mobsters, based on the way the one man is dressed compared to the other men around him). The gunman dispatches everyone, having hit the boss at least once at this point. The boss does not fall, he keeps lumbering forward, taking more and more bullets, until he has his hands around his assailant's throat. The only escape the gunman has is to cut the man's hand's off. Thankfully his partner has come by for clean-up.  The next shot of the young assassin, we see him naked on a couch, the severed hands still attached to his throat.

Yeah, this is kind of what I think of when I think of a Miike film. Extremes.

The story of the film finds Arata Kunisada (Riki Takeuchi ) freed from prison. The mob boss that was just assassinated was a father figure to him, and he is distraught and vengeful. 

But this isn't a one-man-assassin squad/John Wickian tale, at least not yet. The film cuts between different mob factions and Kunisada's journey, which for much of the film's run time finds him hiding out, rather than pursuing his revenge.  But eventually Kunisada gets back on track and, well, finds a missile launcher to help him on his quest.

Having just watched the excellent Italian mob-revenge actioner Big Guns, this very much feels like another take on the same story, right down to the police sort of standing by, or perhaps even aiding the protagonist in their mission of revenge. The difference is Big Guns felt quite calculated and detailed in its execution. Rekka on the other hand feels quite rushed and unrefined. That shagginess has a bit of an appeal, for sure, but it makes for some confusing story beats, or even whole acts. (There's a detour that Kunisada takes with a possible love interest that seems completely inconsequential to the overall story, and, for the amount of screentime it takes, contributes little to our understanding of this rather one note character).

The film dabbles with character drama and mafia intrigue but isn't particularly committed to either, and by the time the big rocket-launcher climax happens, it becomes a big old cartoon that betrays whatever it was trying to do emotionally before. 

The film closes with the ghost of a dead mob boss popping his head into frame, shouting "rock and roll!" It's not a vibes movie, per se, but perhaps Miike is a vibes director, and you're either on his wavelength or you're not. I dunno...Rekka wasn't boring, except when it was.

---

One thing I'm always searching for is films from the 1980s with great special effects, including miniatures and big sets and puppets and stop-motion animation. I've exhausted most of the North American releases some time ago (though there is still the rare surprise) and have to look internationally for such pleasures. The main problem is I have no idea where to look, or what I'm looking for, and sacrificing a few hours hoping for something inspired to look at can be such a gamble.

The opening moments of Tokyo: The Last Megalopolis (aka "Teito Monogatari") deliver instantly. A glorious barrage of manufactured clouds, impeccably lit with purple and red hues leads way to a massive set where a group of mages start mumbling incantations, causing the set to rumble and fracture and animated lighting to strike. There are rods sticking up from the ground that receive the lightning and are rotoscoped with a glowing red tinge. This is all glorious even if the dialogue of the scene is moving so fast that I had to rewind at least three times over to catch all the exposition.

The gist of The Last Megalopolis is that, centuries ago, Taira no Masakado led an uprising against the lords of Tokyo and failed. His spirit, though dormant, haunts the city. Should anyone dare to desecrate the site where he lay, he will awaken and destroy the city. And so, the demon Yasunori Kato (garbed in an Imperial Officer uniform, he is no doubt the inspiration for M. Bison in the Street Fighter video games) seeks to do just that, but in order to awaken the Masakado, he needs the blood of his descendant to do so. Some men just want to watch the world burn.

What follows is a convoluted but enthralling tale that takes place over three time periods from the early 1910s to the late 1920s. It's heavy on incantations, sorcery and witchcraft (of a type), and a bevvy of effects to go along with it. The best special effects in the film find paper being dispatched by both the good guys and bad, sailing on the wind before crumpling itself up and then transmogrifying into a bird or a wee little rat-like beastie. It's really, really cool.

The Last Magalopolis is based off the novel "Teito Monogatari" (adapted into Manga prior to the film's release and into an anime series in the early 1990s), and combines elements of real Tokyo history with epic fantasy and spirituality. A lot of the characters in this story are actual historical figures, and I guess the production team thought that it was enough of a shorthand to not really explore these characters at all.  It is completely a story-driven film, and figures wind their way in and out of the story in such a manner that if you're not used to Japanese names it can get confusing as to who is being referred to in a given situation and why. Also, this film is not waiting for you to catch up.

It's a propulsive narrative, even at two hour and fourteen minutes, and by the end while it has a resolution, barely feels resolved... because it isn't. This is effectively the first half of the story, condensed. A follow-up film, Tokyo: The Last War would be released the subsequent year. 

Part fantasy, part horror, part historical fanfic it's a wild and dense production that perplexes and delights in equal measure.

Wednesday, March 11, 2026

3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple

2026, Nia DaCosta (The Marvels) -- download

The previous movie. 

Kent's view.

Weird. I didn't stub this with any initial commentary.

I really like this movie, probably more than the previous. I may have recapped the previous movie, but I didn't say much what I thought about, probably because I didn't think about it much. It presented itself, allowing us to come back to the world, almost as if it was entirely a setup for this movie, the one with meaning.

Meaning? More like contemplation.

So, Spike. Spike (Alfie Williams, A New Breed of Criminal) has hooked up with the Jimmy's, the scarred and scary track-suited hooligans in white wigs who turn out to be a proper cult, Satanism and all. Jimmy Crystal (Jack O'Connel, Sinners), the kid from the preamble in the previous movie, which showed a frothing-at-the-mouth (before he is even infected) minister allowing the infected to invade his church, something-something end of the world something-something. Jimmy is his son, a survivor. Jimmy has evolved into a frothing-at-the-mouth lunatic who believes his real father is Old Nick, or Satan if you wish to be proper. And their, the Jimmy's that is, goal is to bring more death & terror onto Jimmy's father than even the infected are.

Spike doesn't fit in, but he knows he has to survive somehow. Torture and terrorizing is not what Spike had in mind when he came back to the mainland. We get to know the cult, Jimmy Crystal's ethos and their methods. There can only be seven "fingers" which Jimmy states was the number of sisters he lost, but he's a loon so its probably an arbitrary number. No matter, Spike has to kill another member to get a place in the cult. 

Meanwhile back in the Bone Temple, Kelson (Ralph Fiennes, Conclave) is studying Samson (Chi Lewis-Perry, Gladiator II), the Alpha who appears to have become addicted to Kelson's blow dart concoction. Kelson has been alone for decades and has given up any pretense of studying the rage virus properly, but in Samson's reactions, he begins to unravel a mystery -- what are the infected raging against. Sedated, Samson loses his anger, his desire to tear Kelson apart and/or eat him. They sit together, watching the moon.

Spike gets first hand exposure to the cult's tactics as they invade a farmstead and torture its members, under the pretense of "charity", this time choosing to skin them alive. Its a stomach churning scene made all  the more disturbing by Spike just sitting it out, not really fighting back against it. Survival is one thing, by complicity... No matter, one of the victims turns the tables killing off some fingers before expiring. 

Soon after Jimmy Ink (Erin Kellyman, The Falcon and the Winter Snowman) catches sight of Kelson and his iodine dyed skin, and assumes that must be the Old Nick Jimmy Crystal is always going on about. Remember, its been 28 years since the infection ended civilization on Great Britain -- these kids were all born after the plague. Jimmy Crystal is the only figure of knowledge & power they have known. And they are all so broken in their own ways, even Jimmy Ink who has a moderately protective response to Spike. So, in seeing Kelson/Nick she is simultaneously confirming Jimmy Crystal and challenging his whole belief structure.

And Jimmy is a loon, so what's he to do? Could this actually be Satan who talks to him in his own head? Or just a man who very obviously appears to be safe around an Alpha. Jimmy confronts Kelson, confirms the latter, but devises a ruse. They will play act out Kelson as Old Nick, and the Jimmy's will move along, leaving Kelson to his work.

It goes decently enough, with Kelson doing his best pantomime to the loud sounds of Iron Maiden music but when Kelson recognizes Spike under that ill fitting mop of white hair, he lets the guise down. He suggests the fingers should sacrifice Jimmy himself, crucify him as a great offering. Jimmy doesn't go down easily, and fatally stabs Kelson before overpowered by Jimmy Ink. As Kelson dies, they leave Jimmy upside down, a victim to the infected, to be torn apart as his fingers had done so many times.

Now, the crux of the scene is the arrival of Samson, a now calm Alpha, thanks to the administering of anti-psychotics by Kelson earlier. He is still the massive hulking roided monster of a man but his mind has returned to him. Kelson had determined, in the best parts of the movie, what the driving factor of the infection was, and has calmed it. Spike and Jimmy Ink, now revealed as Kellie, escape in the final scenes to be spied by.... well, a corny final scene.... none other than Jim from the original movie.

Now, when I say the best parts of the movie, it is those quiet but very tense scenes when Kelson interacts with Samson. Kelson has been alone for so very very long. He's a brilliant man but had given up "curing" the disease, given up being a doctor, and was now more a mortuary attendant, tending to the dead in his Bone Temple. So, he finds a friend in Samson, but also a finality of purpose when he finally cracks the disease's heart. Its not like he is going to save the world, as there is no more world on Great Britain. No one is going to discover his "cure", so its entirely personal, between him and Samson. Fiennes, a man generally displaying refined, precise characters is able to add so much to this rather barbaric depiction of a broken man in a broken world. 

As Kent mentioned, this series could have devolved into repeated Straight To style exploitation sequels, and almost did with the second. But these two movies return it to something else. On the island of England, all is lost, so the stories we have are of people and challenges. I won't go so far as saying they have elevated to any degree, as these are still genre movies, zombie movies, but I applaud the attempt to do something different beyond the usual sequel-itis, repeating the first movie over and over again.

Thursday, February 12, 2026

3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): Greenland 2: Migration

2026, Ric Roman Waugh (Greenland) -- download

The original Greenland came out in 2020, during The Pandemic which I was calling The Pause at the time. Disaster Movie seemed an entirely appropriate response for a world that kind of felt like it was ending, but nobody really believed it was. We believed we would end up exactly where we did end up -- barely remembering that things were really different then and only shadows of the traumatic time haunting us. But in this first movie, the world did end -- the comet Clarke did hit the Earth, and the only survivors were those that made it to the bunker in Greenland. 

Except it didn't. Only a large chunk of Clarke hit the planet, likely many large chunks, but the world did not truly end. Civilized life did, but we persisted. Five years later, life in the Greenland bunker has become challenging and tenuous. Outside is radiation and toxic storms. Inside is boredom, tension and trauma. They have minimal contact with other bunkers and groups of survivors, as well as a rumour about a supposed paradise tucked inside the crater of the largest Clarke chunk, in southern France. Apparently the crater walls protect all within from radiation storms and other terrible stuff. 

The movie hand-waves this ridiculous idea away without so much as a quick argument around a bunker council table. I mean, the usual stuff of post-apocalyptic movies hasn't even happened. What about the atomic winter? Isn't it a mainstay of asteroid strikes that large amounts of material are tossed into the atmosphere bringing on endless winter? Maybe that happened in the first couple of years, but outside doesn't reflect it. Things are wrecked, but ... its all still there. And there are survivors in other bunkers and elsewhere.

And then a catastrophic earthquake strikes, tearing open the bunker and a tsunami wipes out pretty much all of the inhabitants. All but a handful are killed, and in that handful are our main characters John Garrity (Gerard Butler, Plane), his wife Allison (Morena Baccarin, Deadpool) and their now teenage son Nathan (Roman Griffin Davis, The Long Walk). They escape in a beached lifeboat before the wave kills everyone else. Everyone. Fuck you, Disaster Movie -- these people survived the comet strike and five years inside a bunker, only to be killed en masse so this movie can have an imposed road trip to a mythical New Eden. I just didn't like that premise. But it gave a reason to recreate the A to B trip of the first movie, like all great/terrible sequels do. 

So, Road Trip! The lifeboat makes it to the coast of England, Liverpool to be precise, where... well, things aren't wiped out, they are just rather typical examples of po-ap life. The military has its own bunker, which they keep survivors out of, but at least there are Outside Survivors. Five years on they have food, water and refuge from the tsunamis and radiation storms! Until the Garrity-s show up and a storm scatters them to all corners. Again, fuck you Disaster Movie. OBVIOUSLY these Outside Survivors have been surviving these storms, so then why does panic ensue. They must have safer refuges nearby but instead they all try to outrun the thing. Most don't. John trades his watch for a spot in a camper van for him and his family. 

And the movie continues the trip, interrupted by a series of violent spectacles that keep the focus on this little family, and only the family. They escape the sea, in that little lifeboat, with a few from the bunker. One dies at the gates in Liverpool, another is killed by raiders as they drive south. In fact, the driver of the camper van is killed when everyone stops for a respite and Clarke reminds us it still has quite a few chunks left to throw at the planet. 

That is the sequel-itis formula that just irritates the fuck out of me. Sequels often have to follow the beats and moods that made the first popular and memorable. The first Greenland had only the main characters traveling, each with some additional cast, who dies or move on without the others, until its only the little family left heading to Greenland. The first movie also had occasional bouts of rocks falling from the sky at precise angles, destroying cars and survivors. Sure, evocative scenes. And economy of cast is easier to manage. But...

Anywayz, from England, they cross the channel, which is, well, drained like a leaky bath tub. Apparently a great crack formed and all the water drained away. Exceeeept, there are lots of oceans & seas to either side of the English Channel -- the water should be still flowing. But no, they have to evoke scenes of po-ap wastelands so cross a desert between England and France, and cross over rickety ladders across the big crack, which then shakes & rattles dumping any other visible survivors into said crack, leaving our family again, alone, to head into France.

This is where they learn that the Clarke Crater is indeed a real thing and that there is a war being fought over it. Yes, there are enough out-of-bunker survivors in France, where the biggest chunk of the comet smashed into the planet to have armies fighting over entrance into this mythical paradise. A war that has a front-line and trenches and lots of bullets. While, again, very evocative in its depiction, it was so very very silly. The movie feels very much like it spit-balled a story & script in order to fulfill an agreement. 

Saturday, February 7, 2026

KWIF: 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple and Send Help

 KWIF=Kent's Week in Film. A Horror, Not Horror double feature at the movie theatre.

This Week:
28 Years Later: The Bone Temple (2026, d. Nia DaCosta - in theatre)
Sent Help (2026, d. Sam Raimi - in theatre)

---

The 28 X Later franchise could have so very easily been franchised all to hell into a series of bog-standard direct-to-streaming films, like 29 Weeks Later or 2.8 Years Later or whatever, just shitty no-concept movies about boring-ass idiots getting killing -and getting killed by rage-virus zombies.  As direly awful as our world is now, at least we can say that never happened.

Instead, the creators of perhaps the only zombie film to measure up to George Romero's still-vital classics seemed to retain some ability to control the fate of the series, and reunited 20 years later to bring a new saga to life within the reality that they created.  

In last year's Danny Boyle-directed, Alex Garland-scripted 28 Years Later we met young Spike (Alfie Williams) who was mollycoddled by his ailing mother and as such didn't have the resolute toughness needed to venture into the rage-zombie infested wilds and survive. But when the only hope for his mother was the mad doctor Ian Kelson (Ralph Feinnes), Spike sets out on an adventure to seek his help. When we finally meet Kelson, we learn he's spent the intervening 28 years studying and surviving among the infected, and building epic shrines out of the remains (bone temples, one might call them) out of the many dead and departed.  We also learned of the concept of Alphas, a sort of leader to the rage-infected that have swollen to gargantuan proportions and are seemingly unstoppable.

When we last left Spike, he had ventured off from his community on his own journey of self-discovery, meeting in the prior film's final frame, the Jimmys, a group of blonde wig and tracksuit-wearing roughnecks who knows parkour and dispense the rage zombies without any apprehension. As much as Spike was saved by the Jimmys, it was clear he was not safe.

This film picks up showing us exactly how not-safe Spike truly is. He's been put up against another Jimmy in a fight to the death. The winner gets to be one leader Sir Jimmy Crystal (Jack O'Connell)'s seven fingers, the loser gets to be free of this hellish reality. Spike triumphs because in spite of his timidity, his instincts serve him well, but it's clear that just because he won his place in the Jimmys, bestowed his own wig and tracksuit, it doesn't mean he's been accepted as one of them nor does he actually want to be one of them.  

Sir Jimmy, you see, is a Satanist of his own devising. He teaches his seven fingers the word of his father, Old Nick, who whispers in his head what his wishes are: dispense "charity" and sacrifice on the land. Sir Jimmy was the child of a preacher but was still quite young when the virus spread across the land, and his understanding of the world is shaped by his lack of understanding of the religion that was taught to him, and his own psychopathic sense of self-importance means he desires to learn less about the world, as it's easier to help it burn than to do anything else.

Meanwhile Dr. Kelson befriends an Alpha named Samson. Samson seems addicted to Kelson's morphine-laced darts, and keeps returning to Kelson for another hit.  The morphine seems to calm the rage virus within the Alpha, Kelson notes, and in the beast's haze, Kelson sees a semblance of humanity in Samson's eyes. Kelson continues to experiment with Samson, yielding highly unexpected results, and a breakthrough on the nature of the rage virus. What he learns would, in the old society, be the key to combating, maybe even curing the virus, but the machines of mass production and distribution have long since passed, so the reality of this discovery is tantamount to nothing much at all. But with Samson, Kelson has found an odd friendship, and a new purpose as he engages his scientific brain once again.

The two worlds, however, are bound to collide, and when it does, it's not the Grand Guignal I think we come to expect from horror films. Instead it's something far more dramatic and theatrical. One of the Jimmys spies Kelson cavorting with an Alpha and thinks the red-skinned man (as a result of Kelson's iodine bathing) is Old Nick. Jimmy himself, approaches the man he thinks to be his father, but is quickly assured otherwise, and the two engage in a most unexpected exchange.

I expect there will be a big contingent of horror fans, the kind who watch said films because they get a charge out of the gore and violence, who will be utterly confounded by the direction of this series, who will pretty much hate the majority of this film. It is a movie, and now a series, that is not at all interested in the threats of zombies and viruses, and unlike 28 Days Later it's also not reiterating its case that man is still the most dangerous threat to other men.

No, instead, Garland, here with director Nia DaCosta, are much more interested in exploring how people retain their humanity, their hope and optimism in a world where imperative number one is survival.  In this story, Sir Jimmy isn't the same character as Major West in 28 Years Later. Both are convinced that in this new world that all the power to control society that remains is theirs for the taking, but where Major West approached it as a military strategy with knowing sacrifices to be made, Jimmy approaches the world from a stunted idea of the lessons he learned as a child, and has developed really no further, except for being more cruel and complacent. The suspense of the film is largely in the worry for Spike, and whether the Jimmys will corrupt his innocence. 

With Dr. Kelson, he's finding hope in science and humanity in monsters. The worry is that there's a Grizzly Man situation in play, with Dr. Kelson getting too comfortable around the beast he thinks he's befriended. This is not a conventional horror movie set up by any means anyway, so we have to abandon convention horror movie thinking that things will go horribly, terribly awry for Kelson. It's not just Kelson that humanizes Samson, but the film does as well, quite remarkably. Chi Lewis-Parry's physical and emotional portrayal of Samson is remarkable, so much of it necessitating subtle changes in posture or facial tension or just softness in the eyes.  There is a verbal component as well, one that goes beyond just rage virus screaming.

It's hard to recommend The Bone Temple as a stand-alone film, as it does need the setup of 28 Years Later for some of our understanding of Kelson and Spike and to a lesser degree Samson and Sir Jimmy. But at the same time, The Bone Temple is a very different film than everything else in this series and I found it exceptional and fascinating. Along with backing off of zombie attacks (they're still here, just not the focus), DaCosta also steps away from shooting with Boyle's grittier sensibilities (he shot 28 Years Later largely on an iPhone) and instead focuses heavily on composition and lighting, rendering a surprisingly beautiful movie to look at. The shadows are heavy and dark, while the film's most prominent light, fire, is rendered in vibrant reds, oranges and yellows. 

For some The Bone Temple may suffer from middle-film-itis, where much of the weight is in the set-up film and the concluding film rendering this feeling but an interlude or stop-gap, but this is such a soulful, considerate and contemplative movie, that I find it impossible to dismiss. Quite the opposite, this lives so much larger in my mind than anything from the series that came prior.

But is it horror? Close...let's say horror-adjacent.

---

If you've seen the trailer for Send Help, the premise is evident. An underappreciated female employee and her dickhole boss are stranded on an island after a plane crash. He's injured and suddenly she's in charge, and it looks like she's gone a little gonzo.

And yeah, that's sort of it, with maybe just a little more nuance. Rachel McAdams plays Linda Liddle, a meek, homely member of the Planning and Strategy team at a Fortune 500 company. She is the unsung rockstar of that company, an absolute wizard with numbers and planning, but also an absolute doormat. The company's founder has recently passed and his son, Bradley Peston (Dylan O'Brien) is taking over, and appointing his college buddy into the VP position promised to Linda. She tries to ingratiate herself to Bradley but succeeds at the opposite, and Bradley, the tried-and-true child-of-money, full of self-importance, entitlement and unearned status, is frankly disgusted by her. He's been told that she's basically the glue holding the company together, but Bradley seems to want her gone, and puts her on the plane to Thailand where they're brokering an acquisition, looking for her to fail.

The private jet doesn't make it and, as we saw in the trailer, Linda (who studies survival techniques as her chief hobby) takes charge. Injured Bradley cannot concede that he is Linda's superior, her better, that she shouldn't be deferential to him, to listen to his barking commands and his plans and strategies. As much as he needs Linda for everything, he cannot admit such. Even when he ventures off on his own and comes crawling back to her, it's not with any sense of concession... he's admitting defeat, his own ineptitude for survival, but if she's in charge he can only resent her for it.  

This is a really sly and devilish two-hander that refuses to go to expected places. It's a fantasy but it's grounded in a single idea that someone like Bradley will always view someone like Linda as inferior in every situation. And so all the moments and all the opportunities Linda gives Bradley to see her as something other than an object of derision fail over and over again. Bradley can never let go, and always looks for an edge, a leg up on Linda, some way to take control of the situation he is completely and totally incapable of actually competently being in charge of.

In similar films in the past, Linda would be in the right, up until she was in the wrong. Here, she has an early opportunity for rescue, but she says "not yet" (Bradley is ignorant of this moment). It's a savvy way to undermine Linda as the hero of our picture. Where we're with her 100% in the beginning as a trod-upon underdog, with the sudden turn of tables post-crash, we're maybe only 75% with her on her decision not to be rescued. As the film progresses, it becomes harder and harder to stay on Linda's side. Has she become unhinged?  In some films, we would then have our allegiances and sympathies turn to the only other character on screen, but Bradley never earns our trust or allegiance as an audience, and so by default Linda stays our protagonist, even as her actions become more and more extreme.

Sam Raimi has had a very varied career, starting in horror and comedy-horror and adventure-horror, before turning to suspense and westerns and superhero and fantasy movies. Raimi is more than capable of fantastic drama and epic adventure but this is where fans always want him to be. Like Drag Me To Hell or Evil Dead 2, the purest Raimi delivers an unserious thriller full of gross-out gags meant to put a big smile on the audience's face and squeal with equal parts laughter and revulsion.  If he wants to do another Spider-Man or Doctor Strange, fine, I'll take it happily, but this type of production is the director's sweet spot. What Raimi does to McAdams in that boar-hunting scene is as glee-inducing as anything he ever did to Bruce Campbell, and there should be a line-up of A-list actors wanting to get that same treatment at the master's hands.

A damn fun time at the movies.

But is it horror? Nah, it's not really ever scary, it's too much fun. There is one jump-scare though, but otherwise there's no real intent to scare the audience.


Saturday, January 3, 2026

I Saw This (!!): Hallmarkies Interruptitis

I Saw This (double exclamation point) is our [semi-retired] feature wherein Kent(!) or Toasty attempt to write about a bunch of stuff they watched some time ago and meant to write about but just never got around to doing so. But we can't not write cuz that would be bad, very bad.

As mentioned in the "2000th Post (Spectacular)" my "3 Short Paragraphs" (never short) have overtaken the "projects" but primarily because I get a stub-post in such format placed, and eventually fill in the rest of the details. But in this instance, while I have had all the stubs in place (here, look behind the curtain) I doubt I am going to remember enough (because I saturated my brain with Xmas Movies and Hallmarkies) to write... all... three... oh wow, that sounds lame saying it out loud. Anywayz, excuses aside, I am going to resurrect the format for at least this post. And steal whatever I had in the stubs.

Kind of weird to say you are stealing from your own writing.... or is it that you are stealing from me, your other voice?

Amusingly, to me only of course, I believe this was the last time I used the format, which includes a film that is the first in a pair I write up in THIS post.

Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery, 2025, Rian Johnson (Looper) -- Netflix

It irritates me to no end that I thoroughly, almost painfully, enjoyed every moment of this movie, but so little stayed with me. But for key scenes.

Knives Out introduced Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig, Logan Lucky), a flamboyant celebrity detective. I wasn't overly impressed by the movie at the time, but in times since, it has both grown in admiration in my mind's eye and in rewatches. Sometimes solid, very solid, production & performances is all you need to be impressed. And again, Johnson delivers.

Set in a small town in upstate NY, Blanc is brought in unravel a locked room murder mystery (literally, by the book) of an infamous local priest, one Monsignor Jefferson Wicks (Josh Brolin, The Goonies). His deacon, Father Jud Duplenticy (Josh O'Connor, The Crown), has been accused of murdering him but not even the local police believe he did it, enough so that they allow Jud to follow around Blanc, gathering clues & information from Wicks core group of "followers".

Wicks was a horrible HORRIBLE man, but a man reflecting what we see now, every day, down south. Johnson ignores what is going on around him in America (not really, more he ignores the danger of speaking plainly and with conviction) and it is obvious what he thinks of the current political rabble. This is a movie which speaks openly and loudly about faith and decency, Good and Evil. Blanc is more vocally an atheist, but also very respectful of the people he is working with. Jud is a Man of God, a proper good man who believes in what he is doing and WHY he is doing it.

The movie had some chef's-kiss moments of film making, things like light & colour playing out in a cathedral more appropriate to Europe than NY state, where dialogue and sunshine reflect each other. Like a shifting of tone and mood, mid spoken sentence, when a priest shoves aside the murder mystery he is wrapped up in to tend to one of his flock, a woman in pain, who needs his shoulder, his voice. This is the kind of movie watching I want to do more of, which is made easier by a genre I am attracted to and performances I just chew on.

Kent's.

Tron: Ares, 2025,  Joachim Rønning (Maleficent: Mistress of Evil) -- download

People dislike Jared Leto as much as Jared Leto loves his (currently) luscious long hair, and probably himself. It only takes a little bit of research to find numerous examples of him as a sex pervert / douche or him as a toxic method actor who annoys everyone he works with. But he does decently with the roles given him even if many of them just add to Dislike Bucket (i.e. Morbius and his Joker).

After the mediocre draw of the last legasequel (which was 15 years ago!!) I was surprised this was being made, but not all that surprised that it distanced itself from the previous, and I was mildly disappointed they dumped the whole Sam Flynn and Quorra storyline.

Ares is a program made by Dillinger Systems, an ENCOM competitor company. He is a security program (i.e. soldier) and is part of an experiment to bring programs from "the grid" to the Real World. The movie uses the lovely visuals of a 3D printer on a massive scale, and envisions programs being used to create soldiers, support vehicles and weapons for the military industrial complex. Problem is, no one has been able to recreate the indefinite "solid state" of Quorra -- all "printed" programs fall apart after 29 minutes. That is, until Eve Kim, current CEO of ENCOM discovers that "permenance code" on her dead sister's computer in Alaska, which turns out to actually be Kevin Flynn's computer.  The movie is a race for Dillinger to get that code, with the added hiccup that his primary security program Ares has gone rogue, because after countless failed iterations, he has become not only sentient, but bearing morals.

Its a visually stunning movie and along with the soaring soundtrack by NIN, its quite thrilling but probably meant to be seen on a  very very big screen. I was only mildly enthralled despite being objectively thrilled by what I was seeing -- probably because of the lackluster story. 

Another thing caught my attention, in that much of the cast were the odd-ducks from other movies/series. Of course, we have Ares (Jared Leto, Blade Runner 2049), and then there's ENCOM CEO Eve Kim (Greta Lee, Russian Doll), Dillinger's CEO Julian Dillinger (Evan Peters, Monster), and Kim's assistant Seth Flores (Arturo Castro, Road House). I am not entirely sure where my brain was going, considering other casting choices (e.g. Jodie Turner-Smith, Gillian Anderson) but the others seemed... interesting cast choices.

Kent's. And yes, I should have posted something during my recent-ish rewatch of the second.

Troll 2, 2025, Raur Uthaug (The Wave) -- Netflix

In hindsight, I was not convinced I really enjoyed the first one, Troll. Sure, I remember enjoying the over-the-top American action click approach (I called it "Michael Bay Norway Method" totally missing calling it  the "Michael Fjord Method") but I seem to feel I should have been more... annoyed with it? Maybe its just my perpetually cranky state of late, but this one... well, the sequel annoyed me in the way the most recent Godzilla vs Kong movie did -- of note, I recently rewatched that and yes, I softened on my dislike for it.

Anywayz, I think I literally nodded off three times during this one, so write-up may be spotty.

Good thing we lifted & dropped it into this collection, where all is forgiven.

So, in the first one, they killed the troll they woke up by using giant ultraviolet lights despite the ecologist main character Nora Tideman's (Ine Marie Wilmann, Furia) cries of, "Its not evil, its just following its nature!!" This movie follows up with her being introduced to a SECOND troll, one the government did not tell her about. They accidentally wake it up so it can, insert comedic element, walk through the newly re-built house of a random rural farmer on its way to purposely stomp on Oslo. Meanwhile Nora had her own secret, in that hidden in a deep abandoned mine shaft, she had discovered a "child" troll which she has made some sort of connection with. She tries to get Baby Troll, who is also kaiju sized, to convince Angry Troll to not stomp Oslo but all that does is get Baby Troll murdered. All that is left is the military intervention, once again in grand Michael Fjord style.

In said style, the American style of overbearing military types, bleeding heart liberals and stupid people making stupid choices, they end up choosing the most ludicrous, annoying, but dramatic (!!!) way to end the Angry Troll -- by sacrificing a lovable supporting character, even when there were so many other ways they could have handled it, such as, "You know you can try original plan again; there is nothing stopping you from TRYING AGAIN LATER !" Anyhoo, was... fun?

Deathstalker, 2025, Steven Kostanski (Psycho Goreman) -- download

Oh my. They did it, they actually re-made a terrrrrrible fantasy action movie from the 80s, one of those Conan rip-off's about a bare chested barbarian warrior doing fetch-quests for a witch, and starred the most ludicrous sword in all the terrible sword & sorcery movies made at the time. But, of course as a child of the D&D playing metal-music listening era, I saw this movie and probably... liked it at the time? Maybe not so much, as I have never felt the urge to rewatch. But other such now grown children must have had fonder memories as it was remade. And no, its not a requel, its pretty much the a full remake, but with ... 21st century sensibilities?

Deathstalker (Daniel Bernhardt, John Wick) is an ex-knight from a country losing a war against an evil sorceror named Necronemnon and his magical red armoured soldiers called Dreadites. We find him picking the carcasss of his own ex-army when he is attacked by Dreadites, but he makes quick work of them. The fallen prince is amazed at his survival and expects Deathstalker to help him; instead the man just picks him of valuables including a strange disk/medallion.

The rest of the movie has Deathstalker, who does have a real name but few call him by it, mainly people from his old life, trying to get rid of the magic medallion which, when the plot remembers, will return to him automatically if tossed away. He consults a witch, ends up in a cave where bandits have died but left behind a tiny imp-like minor wizard, with a complicated name but who Deathstalker calls "Doodad". Doodad (voiced by Patton Oswalt, The Sandman) knows that the medallion is coveted by Necro-dude, but thinks Deathstalker should try and return it to the remaining member of the royal family. Meh whatever, is DS's point of view.

Its a silly, over the top, badly acted, badly scripted movie with badly done (OK, decently done) practical effects but amusing because its very very self aware. It knows what nostalgia its drawing upon and the tone & style is akin to the source, which is not neccessarily a good thing but... appropriate? It was very popular with the D&D playing celebrity crew, so I guess it knows its primary audience.

13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi, 2016, Michael Bay (Transformers) -- Netflix

Was in the mood for a soldiers movie; didn't recall it was a bay-splosion movie until the credits rolled. But should have guessed, while watching, due a good amount of a) American flags and b) bay-splosions. The funny thing is that its not much of an American rah-rah, given that the government did not provide any support to this compound, and its staff, when shit hit the fan in Libya.

So, "true story" movie. In 2012, an American CIA compound in Benghazi, something not publicly disclosed, was attacked by Libyan forces, just after they destroyed another American compound where an Ambassador was staying. This was all part of the chaos going on in the region after the 2011 Libyan civil war and interventions by NATO forces. The US did not officially have any CIA presence there, but a handful of contracted soldiers were assigned to the compound as protection. After the walled home where Ambassador Christopher Stevens was staying, with minimal protection as he was generally seen as a "friend of Libya", was burned out, the attacking forces moved onto the supposedly secret CIA compound - they lost the ambassador. The American soldiers defended the place until Libyan government forces showed at dawn and escorted the survivors to the airport.

This is rough & tough men being all tough and rough. Given that each is working a job, not fighting a war, there is lots of regret and emotional turmoil bandied about. Still, as in all Bay films, the actioned is well done and the characters are admirable.

Neighborhood Watch, 2025, Duncan Skiles (The Clovehitch Killer) -- download

Small movie with a deceptive title and accompanying trailer -- it is not about a neighbourhood watch at all, just a small movie about Simon, a young man recently released from a hospital, but still suffering from paranoid schizophrenia, and Ed, his asshole neighbor, a retired campus security superintendent. Simon sees a girl get slapped around and then abducted by a man in a white van. But does he? The police don't believe him, or if they do, they don't care. So, Simon goes to Ed.

Ed decides to help Simon, but more because it plays on his ego to do some real detecting. He may be retired but he cannot help but hang around the college he once worked at, looking for criminals, and the security staff left behind hate him. Like, loathe him. He's alone, lonely, refusing to acknowledge he has any number of over-50 health issues and is losing money to online poker sites. So, Simon and his assumed-hallucination is at the very least, a distraction. Meanwhile, Simon is taking this very very VERY seriously needing to prove the voice in his head (his dead father) wrong. They begin asking around about the girl, the van, the guy.

Things don't go well, eventually leading to violence and deaths, with the cops chasing them as much as seeking out any bad guys. Since the police didn't believe him, Simon is the only one seen as a Bad Guy. But despite these odds, he pursues what he thinks he has to do. And Ed finally sees something admirable in the fucked up kid. As you know, I like small performances, focused and narrow on what is happening as much as the characters themselves.

That is a great poster.

Tuesday, September 9, 2025

3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): Mission: Impossible - The Final Reckoning

2025, Christopher McQuarrie (Jack Reacher) -- download

Wait. WTF. This guy has directed SIX movies, four of them were MI movies and all but one of them were Tom Cruise vehicles?!? 

Muse or captor?

I am sort of assuming this will be the last of the "M:I" movies given its been 30 years of movies, and despite McQuarrie's comments saying otherwise, its about time, no?

I was determined to watch this movie as I have watched all of them before -- with a sort of detached enjoyment for the sheer spectacle of it all. But given I have only previously written about three of the eight (Ghost Protocol, Rogue Nation, and Dead Reckoning), I have not had the chance to ramble on about my initial dislike for the whole thing, until I aged and replaced heated opinions with "meh" and maybe even tempered ironic joy.

I wish the Search in Blogger was better; entering in "Mission:Impossible" just led to too much, and I ended up settling on "Cruise" to find the three.

You will note, your "tempered ironic joy" is more than a little peppered by annoyance. So, maybe that initial dislike lives through age.

When the first came out, I was deep in my That Guy stage of film watching. I recall not being all that interested in them, but I likely was also in my "see every single released movie" stage, so I did... see them. I was likely OK with them, dealt with my dislike for Cruise and spectacle (i.e. Bay-splosions) movies. Now in my "old age", they have become a sort of nostalgic action-espionage-lone-tough-guy series, akin to be the James Bond of the last thirty years, like classic Bond-movies were when I was younger.

Not sure I want to expand further. Maybe later, if I choose to do another rewatch and a "series minded" post like Kent's. Probably not.

When we last left our intrepid hero (and as Kent has pointed out, these movies have become entirely about one person -- Ethan), in this intentionally split movie, he had recovered the Cuneiform Key and.... and what, I am not sure. Even re-reading my post on the movie, I was not sure. We know the Key had something to do with a Russian sub that, despite its really advanced AI-powered defense system, had been tricked into launching a torpedo against itself, and sunk below the icey waters. But the key, in two pieces on chains on people's necks, floated up to be discovered by someone, so it could become a MacGuffin for the first half of the movie. What we do know is that the Key offers assistance in controlling an Evil AI that Ethan will not trust into any government's hands, not even his own. So, that means, you guessed it, he is disavowed again.

Uh dude, its "cruciform" not "cuneiform". The latter is writing system used in Mesopotamia while the former just means "the form of a cross". I honestly would prefer they wedge some weird pseudo-historical reason into the naming of the key instead of just saying "its cross shaped" but ... sure, cruciform does sound neat.

But in this new movie, the AI has been making vast strides to taking over the world. In an entirely unexpected superhero-movie level plot, shit has escalated so quickly and so dire-ly that it won't be long before all nuclear super-powers are controlled by the Evil AI which has been named The Entity, and will launch The Missiles, ending humanity.

Cue head-canon where The Entity is actually Skynet and Ethan Hunt will eventually spawn John Connor by going back in time to the 80s.

Ethan (Tom Cruise, Risky Business) really wants to find Gabriel (Esai Morales, La Bamba), his arch-nemesis (for reasons) who once worked directly for The Entity, but is now on the run, having been disavowed by The Entity. But he needs a few more people to pretend it isn't just him doing everything, so he breaks Paris (Gabriel's once hench-person; Pom Klementieff, Une pure affaire) out of jail, and simultaneously convinces one of her handlers, Degas (Greg Tarzan Davis, Woke), to come along for the fun -- I do not know why he is in the movie (because they wanted to have someone named Tarzan in the credits?). They do find Gabriel but in turn, Ethan and Grace (Hayley Atwell, The Prisoner) are captured, so we can get some very intense staring between the two, a natural progression of the googley eyes from the previous movie.

They escape, but they also learn about Gabriel's method for communicating with The Entity, a tech-coffin that was apparently developed from the same, but different, MacGuffin as The Entity itself -- the Rabbit's Foot, the thing they were chasing after in Mission: Impossible III which we all thought was supposed to be a bio-weapon because a) it had a biohazard sticker, and b) they called it the anti-God (i.e. anti creator). Whatever, CALL BACK !! Ethan goes into the tech-coffin and gets a glorious depiction on exactly how and why The Entity will end the world. i.e. a re-working of Terminator 2: Judgement Day. The Entity also points out to him that Luther (Ving Rhames, Lilo & Stitch), who is apparently hacking together an anti-Entity virus will likely die, if not from the cancer he suddenly has, then from the (in)actions of Ethan, BUT if Ethan lets him to the digital equivalent of the Global Seed Vault in Svalbard, things might be different. Ethan's all nuh-uhhhhh.

Cue Ethan running away saying "shit shit shit shit shit shit". Also, cue the constant paradox of the movies stating Only Ethan Can Prevent Forest Fires while constantly accusing him of being willing to sacrifice the entire world to protect his team.

Ethan decides he has to find the Russian Sub from the last movie, because from it, he can find The Entity's source code which will help... defeat it? Things get a bit convoluted here. The anti-Entity virus, or Poison Pill that Luther made, needs to be combined with The Entity's source code, which can only be found in the sunken sub. I can only assume that because The Entity is already out there, in the Internet, that blowing up the sub would accomplish nothing. Either way, the prediction comes true, as Gabriel steals the Poison Pill, blows Luther up and runs away.

Cue Ethan screaming with a Kirk "Khaaaaaaan" face.

Ethan and crew are taken into custody and brought before the POTUS, who is Erika Sloane (Angela Bassett, Strange Days) from previous movies. The US and a few other countries have a choice. They can preemptive strike before The Entity takes over all other countries and nukes them, or they can trust Ethan. Only Ethan. There is a bit of fun recollecting of all the other times he has saved the world, but with a good amount of collateral damage (e.g. The Kremlin go boom, fall down) doing the usual thing of ignoring the question of what would have happened if he hadn't been there at all. This again brings this movie back into superhero realms -- if The Avengers hadn't been around, things would have been much much worse, but they still get blamed for being the catalyst, not the protector.

Hmmmm, Ethan is the new Captain America?

They give Ethan an aircraft carrier with Rebecca Welton (Hannah Waddingham, Coupling) as Admiral Neely, to help him find the sunken sub that nobody knows the location of, while the world is on the verge of nuclear Armageddon. Also, just so we don't forget that Ethan does have a team, they send the rest to a remote Canadian island with some sort of listening post that probably knows the actual location of the sub; maybe. To keep The Entity from knowing they are close to its source code, they will transmit the coordinates via analog morse code. Fun!

Also, they do a double-fun callback to the guy who lost his job because Ethan broke into his unbreak-in-able data vault all the way back in the FIRST MOVIE !! CALL BACK !!!

So, Ethan gets dumped by Rebecca into the frigid waters where he is picked by a US submarine run by a very nice man with a very nice voice, and provided with some equipment to go down to the Russian submarine, because they got the requested coordinates at the very very last second. This is the best sequence in the whole movie, as Ethan climbs into the mostly still sealed sub, to pry the source code of The Entity from its protected container shell, before the dislodging submarine slides off the continental shelf into oblivion. And just because the stakes aren't high enough, Ethan has to strip off his protective deep dive suit in order to escape the sub, but that means... the bends + freezing to death + running out of oxygen. No matter, Grace has appeared above to heal him with the power of her googley eyes, and the portable decompression chamber she brought along. He has what he came for, a funky MacGuffin doodad that...

To be honest, I am not sure how this whole Rube Goldberg Linkin' Logs idea actually works, or how it got formulated. The idea is that Luther's Poison Pill plugs into the Podkova (the doodad Ethan just recovered) as if Luther knew the interface, and they will do it in the Digital Seed Vault, which will attract The Entity (because it wants to hang out in the Seed Vault while it destroys the world) while they use a fabulous crystal storage drive to CAPTURE The Entity. 

Its all rather wonderful Star-Trekian technobabble which makes no sense, but leads to another daring chase scene after Gabriel steals the Poison Pill and flies off in a colourful plane, and Ethan follows in another colourful plane. Also, Benji's (Simon Pegg, Spaced) been shot so Paris has to operate on him (the whole pen as a breathing hole trick) while Grace performs some crash course networking. Ethan catches Gabriel, punches it out in a crashing plane, plugs Tab A into Slot B (these devices have some fantastic wireless connectivity distance) and Grace captures The Entity in its glittery crystal cage.

I think the Internet was supposed to have been destroyed by this action? Either way the world has not been nuked, and everyone is happy. Ethan is un-disavowed for the umpteenth time. Until the next movie.

Yah, I went into the movie more than a little gleeful and optimistic despite my annoyance with... well, all the last ones. I guess my rose-coloured glasses for silly spectacle were firmly on despite Kent's dire warning. I didn't hate it because it is silly fun, but.... c'mon folks, after thirty years, you think they could do some more tight instead of extreme loosey-goosey to the n-th degree.

Congratulations for not harping on Tom Cruise's desire to be shirtless (he's looking kind of Wolverine squat and square in his old age) and only a wafer-thin reference to Tom Cruise Running, though it was once again very very prevalent in the movie.

Sunday, September 7, 2025

3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): 28 Years Later

2025, Danny Boyle (Slumdog Millionaire) -- download

And even before I get my first paragraph into the stub post, the trailer for the follow-up movie, a sort of Pt 2 to this one, has arrived. I did not know they were going to do that. At least it lifts us from expectations of '28 Decades Later'.

My rewatch at the beginning of the year, and Kent's post about this movie.

I'm feeling a recappy coming on...

When last we left our spreading red map of an infographic, the Rage Virus, having jumped the Chunnel to the mainland, was taking over the world and.... record scritch... nope, the rest of the world beat it back. Like the Americans in the last movie, the rest of the world has survived, and unlike the Americans in the last movie, nobody came to the assistance of the UK, after the failed attempt at resettlement. They just quarantined the whole goddamn nation and let them die, infected and survivors alike.

A whole generation has past.

On the island of Lindisfarne, in northern England, near the Scottish border, on the east coast, a settlement of survivors ekes out a meagre life. The island is connected to the mainland by a tidal causeway providing protection against the mindless infected. Jamie (Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Bullet Train) is taking Spike (Alfie Williams, A New Breed of Criminal), his 12 year old son to the mainland for his manhood ritual. Spike is younger than normal for this event, but Jamie is a bit of a overinflated ego on the whole matter. The idea is that if you go to the mainland, and don't come back in the alloted time, nobody is allowed to go find you. You died or got infected; that's it, end of story. Isla (Jodie Comer, The End We Start From), Spike's mother, spends her day in bed, suffering an unknown malady, likely neurological in nature, as she has lucid moments followed by ranting outbursts. Spike loves his mum; Jamie seems... burdened.

This is a hunting trip, but not for food. Spike is learning how to kill infected, and learn a bit about the past. They pass through the deforested land where the island cuts its wood, they see massively repopulated herds of deer, and they see the evolution of the infected. Unlike the second movie, where all died off, a new ecosystem seems to have formed, likely built on a slow depopulation cycle of survivors, infected and non-infected alike. They run into the obesely fat "slow-lows" who belly-crawl across the forest floor eating every living thing they come across: bugs, worms, etc. Their constant eating has made them... something else. Elsewhere in some sort of pack mentality, an "alpha" has risen, a massively muscled, bigger & less vulnerable to damage example. But Jamie and Spike are not there to investigate, but to ... run. Once they get an Alpha on their tail, the only thing to do is hide or flee. And flee back to the island they do, finally killing the Alpha on the causeway. Spike has survived his first trip, barely, and with the guilt of being utterly terrified almost every moment of it.

But Spike did learn one thing from his father while over there -- that there is a doctor, a man who survived all these years, a man with mainland medical knowledge. Spike, whose awareness of doctors and medicine is entirely mythical, thinks the man can help his mother, and so formulates a plan. He escapes with her and some meagre supplies, back to the mainland, to find this doctor and save his mother from whatever ails her. Jamie is not allowed to chase after.

What Spike finds first is the lone survivor of a capsized Swedish patrol boat. They were beset by an Alpha and despite superior weaponry & training all but one died horribly. This Alpha likes to pull people's heads off, along with a bit of spinal column -- his trophies. From this cocky mainlander Spike hears, but learns little, of a world of cell phones, and jobs, and videos, and parties and take-out food. The rest of the world has continued after the rage plague, carrying naught for the plight of the UK. 

They do find Dr. Kelson (Ralph Fiennes, The Menu), but not before losing the Swede, and gaining... a baby, from an infected mother, but one who bore an apparently uninfected child. Dr. Kelson has lived on solitude, on his own little island, one decorated with effigies to the dead -- massive towers of boiled, beach skulls & bones. In his own more than a little mad way he remembers the old world and all those who lost their lives. His quick examination of Isla tells him she has cancer, and doesn't likely have long left to live. To him, memories of the lost are as important as the living themselves, but really, that's all he has. 

Kelson leads Isla to an early and painless death. A new life has replaced her soon to end one. Spike climbs one of Kelson's towers to lovingly place his mother's skull upon the altar of memory. Instead of peace, they are attacked by the Alpha who has been dogging their trail. Spike does fight him off, saving Kelson, and leaves with the new baby. He leaves her, now named Isla for his mother, at the gate, with a note to his father, before returning to the mainland. Spike's journey is not over; he has yet to find meaning in his fruitless quest to save his mother, in continued existence, despite bringing new life to his island.

The movie comes to a close with Spike fleeing a pack of infected, only to be saved by a very very odd bunch of survivors. Dressed in track suits, bouncing about and cackling like baboons, these are the Jimmy's, surviving youth who follow a now grown young boy from the movie's preamble (no, I did not recap that). They invite Spike to join.

What the what? This almost-coda, doesn't give us any closure to this movie without much resolution. Like Spike, we are left wondering what was the point of it all, why introduce all this post-apocalypse world, why give us hints of memories of the past, but... leave it all hanging. The first two movies, more the first, successfully had endings, survivors getting away. Spike did get away, but the movie not being all about survival hinted that there should be more.

Oh, there was. In another movie.

This is an odd little/big movie. Its the most po-ap of the trilogy, the most packed with (new) world building, which always catches my eye. It is about survival, but its not. It has hints of beauty, but is mostly horror. The design of the movie, shot all with unsophisticated cameras, like iPhones and GoPro's and drones, is fascinating, but not sure it lent a whole lot to the experience. I liked what I got, but until I got that surprising exposure to the next movie I was not sure of the why of it all. Now, I am more than a little intrigued.