3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): They Will Kill You

2026,  Kirill Sokolov (Why Don't You Just Die!) -- download

Well, that was a bucket full of bloody fun.

Part of me is wondering whether there is something wrong with us when this is the definition of a "fun time".

Should I start a new tag for movies where women are led to the slaughter, but turn the tables? Ready or Not comes to mind, but there are definitely a few more examples. Its a sub-sub-genre I can get behind, and yes, there will be a watching of the sequel (referenced movie, not this movie), but in October, probably along with all the highly praised, recently released horror movies from 2026.

Asia and her little sister try to leave their abusive father but it only goes wrong, ending with Asia shooting, but not killing him, and her having to flee into the rainy night, leaving her sister behind. Because the world is a horrible place, Asia is caught and convicted while daddy dearest recovers and retains custody of his youngest daughter, so he can go on to further abuse her.

Ten Years Later, another rainy night and Asia has shown up at the door of a creepy high rise in NYC, creepy as in it has Satanic bas-reliefs and a pentacle on the roof. She is invited in by the building manager who explains the history of the building and the exclusive nature of its tenants (i.e. rich white people, poor black servants [!!!]). Asia has come for a job, under another name. She is welcomed, given a room, but while she is sleeping, someone finds his way into the room, a someone in cult-y robes and mask. In an incredibly stylish fight sequence, she fights him off, kills him, only for more cult-y robed figures to break their way into the room. She kills them all only.... it doesn't stick. Yup, an immortal Satanic Cult.

Asia (Zazie Beetz, Deadpool 2) is here to "rescue" her little sister, now all grown up, from this cult. But first she has to survive the night. She is helped by one of the cult members who has grown tired of immortality and Satan worship and human sacrifice, and probably the racism inherent to these assholes. Sure, they think they are "enlightened" by occasionally offering immortality in replacement of sacrifice, but that's only so they can have consistent servants / support staff. And that includes Asia's sister Maria (Myha'la, Bodies Bodies Bodies); she's been offered a "position" as long as she sacrifices someone, but her sister, who she is still pissed at for leaving her behind all those years ago, has fucked that by showing up in the sacrifice's place. 

People my age, when writing about movies, compare. This feels like a Hong Kong action movie meets Sam Raimi with exquisitely well choreographed fights scenes, laugh out loud horrible gorey stuff like an eyeball with independent thought chasing after Asia as she attempts escape. Its Raid: Redemption but reusing the same antagonists over and over, because they keep on coming back from the dead. 

The fight takes her to the top of the building, to face The Devil Himself.. in the form of a very big pig head tattooed with the names of all the immortals, so she gets to not only end them but also this little conduit he had to Earth. You have to think about what this cult was actually doing. Sure, immortality is nice, but what does The Devil get out of it, beyond the souls I mean. I can only assume this rich white assholes, who were doing very well for themselves were out there in the world making Evil every day, making lives of others worse, corrupting who they could, making things more terrible for everyone. You know, beyond the sacrificing a person every year.

A fun fun movie. Will need to see what else Sokolov has to offer.

Kent's -- we agreed.