2024, Adam Wingard (The Guest) -- cinema
We hopes. Come on Purple Suits, do me a solid !!
Anywayz.
I blame it on my mood of late, but I wasn't as into this as much as I was the last (during; cuz you sure were looking forward to it before hand, especially as a K n T Outing). Something about it just didn't hook me as much as the last one did. Sure, its still Big Dumb Fun and not as irritatingly taking itself serious as the second movie does, but something about it was just not clicking. During this morning's shower thoughts, I think I may have touched on something, but I am still working through it -- that the monsters had become too much people, and less than the monsters I love them being.
Much of this movie is a Kong movie, Big G just sort of making guest appearances before the big battle. Its not like that is out of character for the Godzilla movies, but Kong gets TONS of screen time and the bulk of the story. You see, there are still more apes down below, albeit hiding out, or trapped, in another even deeper layer of the Hollow Earth (someone disappointed that the "its another dimension" commentary from the TV show Monarch: Legacy of Monsters was not in play here) in a volcano under the thrall of a disgraced ape Skar King (seriously, what's with the K ? Do you want us to call him Skar Sking Skong?).
Meanwhile, Jia (Kaylee Hottle, Magnum PI) is having bad daydreams and Monarch is once again getting signals that they don't know what to do with. Sooooo, everyone and Bernie goes into Hollow Earth to find the source of the signal, cuz... well, cuz. Everyone is Jia, Jia's mom Dr. Andrews (Rebecca Hall, The Night House), Bernie the Podcaster (Brian Tyree Henry, Bullet Train), Trapper the Vet (Dan Stevens, Downtown Abbey) and a seriously overweight Monarch Henchmen -- sorry, not to fat shame, but gun toting mooks who need to protect people from giant monsters should be in shape -- lots of running is in in the job description. That said, he does make a tasty snack to a .... tree?
At the source of the signal they find the real home of the Tuti, I mean the Iwi tribe that Jia is no longer the last of. I guess when Kong & Family crawled out of the hole from Hollow Earth, they followed? Anywayz, these Iwi live under the watchful eye of Mothra... or another moth, or... how is she alive again? Didn't she turn into pixie dust in the last movie in order to provide Big G a power-up? Either way, she is here. The Iwi know the real story behind the Other Monkeys, and how they rebelled against their chosen purpose to protect People, and were banished to firey caves below the below. You see, Skar King is essentially the titan embodiment of the eco-terrorist Jonah from the second movie, as in they both want to wipe humanity from the surface of the Earth. But yeah, Big G won't be having any of that, nor are the Iwi, nor is Kong the Original.
On the surface, Big G is wandering around eating rambunctious titans (crab-spider-elder-horror-ick + chinese dragon named Tiamat) in order to get a new power up. Little did he know Mothra was back to help him out, but really, these movies have had enough blue lazer-y Big G power, they need some Barbie-era pink energy, and some synth-wave music score to go with it!
Eventually everyone and their monkey's uncle ends up on the surface, to have the big end of movie brawl. Skar King and his pet Bewilderbeat (fr How to Train Your Dragon) arrive to freeze Rio, Kong has his new PowerGlove and Pink G. Waitasec, I think it starts in Egypt where they smashy smash the pyramids and then... go to Rio?
It is at this point, I admit, despite the fun being had in the recap above, I was actually nodding off. Again, its more related to Other Things Going On than the movie itself, but yeah, I have lost track.
So, yeah the big dust up frees the Bewilderbeast, who becomes an ally, doesn't dust Mothra but turns Skar King into a big pile of icey monkey which will leave a hell of a stink in Rio when he thaws out. Kong returns to the Hollow Earth to free the other titantic apes and begin a whole new family, while Pink G goes back to Rome to his fav nap spot.
The End.
But we cannot finish talking about the movie without mentioning a few things.
Why is there a Titan Vet? What the fuck work would Trapper have to do other than playing dentist to Kong that one time? And why does he automatically have equipment made to help in said dentistry?
After the number of titan battles that happen in this movie, the untold thousands who would have died in each of the surprised cities, I think I am on the side of the people who just want all of the titans dead. Maybe this remains part of "the balance" they are there to bring back to the planet (no comment on the massive amount of regrowth that is caused by titan remains, mentioned in the second movie) but still, massive massive casualty numbers.
After all that has happened in these movies, why is Monarch still seen as a sketchy company that world governments don't trust? Its not like you can sweep these guys under the carpet. Also, shouldn't they be self-funding, using the energy source found in the Hollow Earth as a way to do away with most fossil fuels? I mean Apex was able to power up Mech Zilla with just a blueprint of these blue crystals. Seems worth some coin.
Did we really need Bernie in this movie?
Kent's post !!
No comments:
Post a Comment