Showing posts with label bad guys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bad guys. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 7, 2025

3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): A Working Man

2025, David Ayer (The Beekeeper) -- download

I normally enter something into the post stub as I create it, because the gawds know my brain will soon dribble out any memory of a middling movie very quickly. And it has; its going to take some effort and some reading of other reviews to remember what I saw here.

That's not a good thing, no? At least movies that annoy you are memorable in that way.

I am not going to repeat my "oh yeah, I actually like David Ayer" but I will say I am surprised that he didn't end up doing a sequel to The Beekeeper, a movie that was entirely a setup for a franchise, but did end up following it with another rote Statham actioner. It's based on a novel by comic book writer Chuck Dixon, and done as a co-writing effort between Ayer and Sylvester Stallone. I have no comment on that collaboration beyond, "...huh." The Dixon novels are those pulp paperback "adventure" type novels (though calling them that is a reach) that someone's uncle would read, folding the covers back, tucking them into the glovebox of their pickup truck. They are short, unfettered, violent books about men being (stereotypically macho) men, meting out justice as it is needed. I would liken them to modern westerns. I am not adverse to the idea of them, in principal, but they all too often come with toxic masculinity and toxic politics in tow.

Of note, Dixon also slid from manly-man comic fiction into trollish alt-right rhetoric, which while the mindset lends itself to violent men fiction, it probably means I won't ponder reading these works.

The movie starts with unspoken exposition over the credits, explaining that our lead character was in the military, first the British and then collaborative actions with the US -- a specialist involved in counter-terrorism. And he has retired to the construction business, where he works with Joe Garcia and his family as a foreman. He is Levon Cade, a Good Man, a restrained man of violence as shown by an opening sequence where he deals with loan sharks hassling one of his crew. He is also struggling to have a relationship with his daughter because her grandfather, and legal guardian, blames Cade for the suicide death of his daughter. But the Garcias love Cade and he them.

Then Jenny Garcia, the smart, sassy teen daughter who helps her father run the company, goes out with her friends, fake IDs in hand, and gets kidnapped. Cade, with his particular set of skills, is asked by Joe to get her back. At first he says No, not wanting to return to a life of violence, but his best bud, the  blind gunnery sergeant hiding in the woods, convinces him that only Cade can do what is needed for the Garcia family.

Speeding things up -- its the Russian Mafia. More precisely, one of its high ranking members has a douche bag of a son who traffics girls to... elite clientele. Jenny was just in the wrong club on the wrong night. 

I have to think about why I like to start with detailed setups and then trail into... summaries and commentary. Maybe its because I like the potential of setups but the rest often becomes kill rinse repeat.

Like any of these movies, there is a certain thrill seeing a capable violent man deal with the Bad Guys. As we are still chasing after the next John Wick, there are going to be a lot of these middling movies, and many many more of the Straight To ones, the trash on the bottom shelf of the video store. Ayer tried to do something with style, but the style was ... odd. The Russian Bad Guys were outrageous and flashy, something that worked in The Tax Collector but here, seem clownish. There is a character in the background of The Fifth Element named Baby Ray, looking like he just stepped out of French Revolution movie. Add a bit more club-vibe to that and you get the douche-bag Russian mobster's look n feel, and that of his sycophants. 

When they get as far as actually rescuing Jenny, in a bizarre abandoned country mansion that the douche-bag Russian uses for his uber-illegal parties (no level of debauchery is denied), things become almost surreal. The house is in ruins for the most part, but parts of the interior are incredibly decked out in almost goth design choices. And there are trees on its lawn that can only be described as the real life sized  versions of the ones in front of the haunted house on a model train set -- think Beetlejuice. Why? Style? Effect? Its just so distantly peripheral to what is happening on screen, it makes no sense.  But the bigger point is that Jenny is strong and willful and capable, having already freed herself (but recaptured) once, and you get the idea there was an entire act where Cade and her work together to... do something to the Russian mobsters. But no, once they are away, the last of the Russian mobsters aware of Cade is told by his bosses that its done, its over, its been too expensive already. Any repercussions can be left for the sequel which will never happen -- again, this is most definitely not the next John Wick.

Wednesday, November 3, 2021

We Agree: The Suicide Squad

 2021, d. James Gunn - on demand

I've been hesitating to write about The Suicide Squad (the quasi-sequel/quasi-reboot of 2016's similarly titled Suicide Squad) because I feel like I need to see it again before I can properly comment on it. 

I mean, I've seen it twice, but it's not enough.

I love this movie.  It's everything I wanted it to be and more. I can't believe it got made, but I'm so happy it did.

The trailers give you enough to maybe spoil so much of the plot of the film, but it only captures a very, very small amount of the deliciously manic glee that James Gunn infused into it.  

Gunn is a product of Lloyd Kaufman's Troma Entertainment, a production/entertainment house that specializes in low-budget action/horror with a specific eye towards satiating fans of hyper violence and gross-out gags (moments of violence that are so absurd in their excess that they transcend horror into, literally, gags...jokes...but I guess there's the double-meaning where it could be they're so gross you gag on your own vomit? I digress).  Gunn's early studio films - Slither and Super - play into the gross and/or hyper-violent, which obviously had to be tamped down when venturing into PG-13 Marvel land (but there's still subversive things Gunn presented in those films, like Rocket's obsession with artificial body parts, and the opening sequence of the second film, for example), but the tempering of Gunn's more outre sensibilities revealed he has a pretty sharp sense of humour and excellent comedic timing, as well as an ability to marry music with scene that rivals Quentin Tarantino and Edgar Wright.

The Suicide Squad was given permission from Warner Bros/DC to aim for an "R" rated film, as such he was liberated from the constraints that Marvel put upon him in their universe... and he uses that R rating to its fullest extent.

The bloodless, sexless, pre-visualized-to-death Marvel product (which I love, so not a complaint) is given a swift antidote here, as is the immediate pivot away from whatever the fuck the Snyder Cut was supposed to be teeing up for the DCEU.  Gunn just takes his toys and fucks off into another corner of the universe to play with them, mostly by strapinng some firecrackers to them, and setting them off.

Returning from the last film are only a few familiar faces: obviously Margot Robbie is back as Harley Quinn, but for all the actor and character's superstardom, the film wisely makes her just part of the ensemble rather than the focus.  Harley can be a lot, and Gunn knows just how to employ that.  Viola Davis also returns as Amanda Waller, and it's surprising how minimal her role is here.  If there's a main character to The Suicide Squad of the comics, it's Waller.  Joel Kinnaman returns as Rick Flagg, and manages to get a much looser, more fun character with real chemistry with at least some of his teammate as opposed to the forgettable pole-up-the-ass babysitter Flagg from the previous movie.  Jai Courtney also returns as Captain Boomerang, one of the stand-out characters from the previous, but, as you may have surmised from the trailer, he's only in this briefly.  Make of that statement what you will.

The Squad, this time, has a few primary players, first in Bloodsport, played by Idris Elba.  By all accounts, Bloodsport was basically a last-minute substitution for Will Smith's Deadshot due to scheduling conflicts, and rather than recast Deadshot, Gunn wisely introduces a different character with a similar backstory (daddy-daughter stuff) but swinging in a very different direction.  In Bloodsport's case he seems to regret being a father, especially given that he has little capacity to raise her outside of his own tough love upbringing and military background.

Bloodsport is joined by Ratcatcher 2, the daughter of the original Ratcatcher (the seemingly omnipresent Taika Waititi), who had a marvelous relationship until he died, and she was unjustly imprisoned.  The daddy-daughter thing, surprisingly does not lead to Bloodsport acting as surrogate father or anything, but they both recognize that there's a bit of a void they fill in each other's lives and form a bit of a bond.

Polka-Dot Man, an absolutely absurd villain from DC's pantheon (though hardly the most absurd, see the Doom Patrol for that), played by David Dastmalchian, is a product of experimenting gone wrong, and is only deemed a villain because of his mental health issues and the chaotic nature of his power.  His mental health issues stem from his abusive mother, and are played for laughs, somewhat, but there's pathos and tragedy.  


I find it somewhat amazing that this is the THIRD major King Shark appearance in pop culture in recent years.  He's been a feature villain on The Flash tv show, and a main supporting player in the Harley Quinn cartoon.  Nanaue, is voiced perfectly by Sylvester Stallone (physical mo-cap performed by Steve Agee, who appears in the film as one of Waller's supporting crew), and is a hulking man-shark with the brain of a child but the bloodlust of a shark.  He'd be a sweetie if he weren't so dangerous.  I struggle with whether I prefer Stallone or comedian Ron Funches' performance as King Shark, but I love them both, and can have them both, so I don't have to choose.

And then there's Peacemaker, as played by John Cena.  He's a mentally unstable mercenary who is willing to do anything for peace, which often involves excessive amounts of violence. He's getting his own spin-off TV mini-series on HBO Max, so I wasn't expecting him to be as charmingly unlikeable in this film as he is, which will make for an interesting show that centers around him.

The promotional material for the Suicide Squad has an additional cast of another 8 or so members of the Suicide Squad.  They're the B-team to the A-team above.  They're absurd and you can probably intuit what happens to them...just maybe not how what happens happens, or why.  

People don't really go to "superhero" films for the messaging, it's all about spectacle...but Gunn uses the Squad purposefully.  In the comics and other media, the Squad's purpose is to act as team of supervillains sent into a particularly precarious situation as clandestine agents of the U.S., so that if things go afoul the U.S. government can proclaim they have no knowledge of why or what those criminals were doing there.  Here, Gunn has them invading the fictional country of Corto Maltese, a place where the U.S. instilled a favorable government (to the U.S. not to their own people) that was recently usurped.  The Squad is there to destroy a particular secret experiment, "Project Starfish", which in invariably turns out was something sponsored by the U.S. military.  The inference here, obviously, is that the U.S. meddles in foreign affairs for their own benefit and not the greater good of the citizens of the countries they're meddling with.  As well, they're often the creators of their own enemies, time and again, which you thing would be enough lessons learned to just fucking stop, right?

Anyway, the trailer spoils the reveal, but it doesn't matter.  "Project Starfish" is the codename for Starro: The Conqueror, a classic absurd Justice League villain from the pop-sci-fi 60's, a gigantic purple, blue and white starfish from space that can quickly dispense hundreds of mini starfish that grip onto peoples faces making them mind-slaves of Starro.  We watched and loved Godzilla vs. Kong earlier this year, but I think Starro is the better Kaiju this year.  Starro is most definitely a force unleashed upon the world that has to be stopped, but, at the same time, there's a tragic aspect to the character (and for sure there is a character there... that giant center eyeball is very expressive).


The film, already an absurd delight, goes bananas bonkers in the last act and is every kind of giggle-inducing gross, and yet it all still pays off with a core cast of characters who are genuinely likeable and have developed relationships that feel like real connections.  It's quite a feat.

This is everything right up my alley.  It's bright, bold, stylish, and not only is it fun to watch, but it seems like everyone is completely chuffed to be there.  Everyone seems absolutely game for everything they're asked to do and they all really commit.  These big super-things work less well when people don't really get it, or don't care to get it.  

The film, unfortunately, was a victim of COVID-times, and wasn't very successful in its theatrical release (barely scratching $150 million).  That it also simultaneously was released on HBO Max for a month certainly cut into its domestic box office, and the numbers haven't been revealed for its on-demand release (one gruelling, painful month of waiting after theatrical/Max debut) .  But even without COVID I'm curious as to its success.  Suicide Squad 2016 was deemed an underperformer and it grossed almost $750million, but it was rated PG-13.  R-rated movies rarely have the same blockbuster success as something the teens or pre-teens or the whole family can go to.  This latest Suicide Squad's bound to be a cable hit with the 12-16 year old when they finally get bored of playing video games for a couple hours.

Whatever the financial compensation, the film got made...it's here, and it's fantastic.   The Peacemaker spin-off was already deep into production before the poor box-office results, so it got made and is getting released in January (when, no doubt, it would have been cancelled had Warner Bros. known sooner the chilly reception The Suicide Squad would get).  So it's kind of an added bonus.  Perhaps that cult following will grow, quickly, and there will be more Gunn-led Suicide Squad related product in the near future.  There's such a deep, rich pantheon of loser supervillains for Gunn to exploit (and explode).

Regardless, I'm quite content to watch this one over and over. 

[Toastypost on the Suicide Squad]

Tuesday, July 27, 2021

I Want My MTB: Once Upon A Time In Hollywood by Quentin Tarantino

 [NEW FEATURE: Of the two, Toast is the book reader, but as he notes "I read slower than GRR Martin can write books".  Kent, on the other hand, just "gets bored reading" so he mostly reads comics.  It's the reason this blog mostly covers Movies and TV shows.  We cover a lot of "Comic-to-movies/TV" or "Book-to-movie/TV" but "I Want My MTB" is for the rare "Media-to-Book" (MTB) ...for when we actually get around to reading something.]

2021 - Harper Perennial Paperback

As a late-teen I had a copy of Quentin Tarantino's screenplay for Pulp Fiction, which was maybe my all-time favourite film for a number of years (still my favourite Tarantino).  As much as I don't read, I read and re-read that screenplay many, many times.  The dialogue flowed so easily, reading it was effortless.  It helped that I had seen the film a half-dozen times in the theatre and listened to the soundtrack regularly (fun fact, my dad asked me to make a tape of the soundtrack for him to play in his truck, the ONLY time that's ever happened).  Tarantino once cited Elmore Leonard as one of his main inspirations for writing dialogue, and I've read a few Leonard novels in the many years since discovering Tarantino and can totally see the influence.

I've never read another Tarantino screenplay, mainly because I haven't connected with any of the other films in the same obsessive way.  I probably should though, if only to get myself into the mindset of script writing again.  But I digress...

I was listening to a recent installment of the podcast WTF with Marc Maron in which Maron was interviewing Tarantino.  The episode debuted a week before Tarantino's novelization of Once Upon A Time...In Hollywood would hit the stands.  Maron had read the novel...more to the point he kind of absorbed it, in a very short span of time, and was praising it as not so much an adaptation of the movie, but an extension of it, totally different than the movie, and totally entertaining.  They get into the book a bit in the podcast but I was already sold from Maron's preamble.  I liked but didn't love the movie...but if the book was a completely different experience than the movie, I was in.  Even if it's something I'm not into, any kind of extended/alternate versions of movies/media is always intriguing to me.

Book pre-ordered.  Book arrived.  Book consumed rapidly (well,over a few weeks, but for me, that's really, really fast).

First, the book we're talking about is an old-school paperback, set up like a 60's or 70's-styled film adaptation novel, 400 pages, and about the size of a grown man's hand... rather than describe it, here's a picture:


Most of the books I've read over the past two decades have been in hardcover, or else an oversized paperback.  I've forgotten how maneuverable a traditional paperback back book is, how easy it is to hold in one hand.  It was already tweaking nostalgia buttons in so many different way before I ever read the first line.

The book is such a Tarantino production.  It jumps around in time in a non-linear fashion from chapter to chapter, and has single-chapter connected asides which focus on tertiary characters, much as his films often do. 

The opening chapter is 24 pages of actor Rick Dalton in his agent's office, most of which is the two men talking about movies (real and Rick's in-world films) and tough-guy action and western TV and movie stars of the era and how they compare to Rick.  The second chapter follows Rick's stunt double/personal assistant Cliff Booth for 24 pages, but is mostly about his interest in films, how they differ from Rick's.  There's a lot of talk about Kurasawa films and Tohsiro Mifune.  It may sound laborious but it's a test of whether you're in or out. 

The film doesn't labor on so profusely about movies following these two chapters, but it's living in Hollywood circa 1969, following a professional actor whose star is on the wane, and is ultimately concerned with such things as people's opinions on movies, television, music and pop culture as a guideline for who their characters are.  One has to think that QT himself engages with people on this basis if this is how he engages with -- and defines -- his characters.

Once Upon A Time... In Hollywood as a film was often described as an ode to the tough guys of old that just don't exist anymore, as well as a love letter to a Hollywood long gone (both as town, and as a movie production center), its innocence shattered after what the Manson family did in 1969.  It's also, in its production, an homage to so much TV and film of the 60's, as all of QT's films are, full of pastiche and reverence for so many films and filmmaking styles (and stars).

QT worked on the story for Once Upon A Time... for the better part of a decade, apparently as a novel first, not a screenplay.  He built out both the world that actually was as well as inserting his own voice into it via Rick and Cliff, and their work.  There were spaghetti westerns, TV shows and advertisements all featuring Rick that, it's been reported, Tarantino fully scripted out, all for what winds up as seconds in the film.  There's also, apparently, hours of footage left on the floor, for as long as the film is, QT didn't want to be too over-indulgent as to lose focus on the main characters: Cliff, Rick and Sharon Tate.

But the film left a lot of questions on the table about the nature of its characters and their portrayal.  Was Cliff Booth (as played by Brad Pitt) a murderer?  I mean there were rumours in the film that he murdered his wife (along with the briefest of "cut-to" scenes that perhaps showed him doing the deed).  But it wasn't clear cut.  Certainly the controversial Grand Guignal of a finale very uncomfortably shows Cliff's aggression towards women.  

There was controversy surrounding the use of Bruce Lee in the film, in a flashback scene where Rick beats up Lee in a head-to-head fight, something that family and fans (and beyond) found disrespectful to the late martial arts master and performer.  Did QT intend to besmirch the Dragon just to elevate his character?

There was certainly some discourse about Tarantino's use of Sharon Tate (as played by Margot Robbie) but only receiving around a dozen lines of dialogue.  Did he think so little of her?

The book, by nature of the format of storytelling, is allowed to get in the heads of these characters, to tell their stories from a far more intimate perspective.  Cliff, if you remove the sexy gloss of Brad Pitt, is a disgusting, violent, racist, misogynistic, homophobic, murderous human being (and yes, he most definitely killed his wife).  That he is so adoring and loyal of his friend Rick, who acts in movies like Cliff behaves in real life, but is otherwise fairly soft, full of self-doubt, and prone to fits of vulnerability and crying is a stark counterpoint.  It leads to the question, does Tarantino adore these type of men, or just the cinematic representation of them?  Is this story a tribute to them or a damnation? Or does it fail to take a standpoint, because QT can't separate his love for the product from the complex, often repulsive nature of these men.

Case in point, QT spends an entire chapter on real-life actor James Stacy (in the story, Rick is guest starring as the heavy in the pilot for Stacy's real-world TV show, Lancer).  There is a sense of admiration that QT has for Stacy, as he notes that he would have been a better choice for certain roles, and glowingly descriptive of Stacy's handsomeness, yet, it also dives into a pettiness and there's a number of points where the author notes the presence of the child actor sitting on Stacy's lap.  A quick google entry finds that - skipping past Stacy's dismembement in a motorcycle collision with a drunk driver - Stacy was prosecuted for doing bad things with kids in the early 90s.  Stacy's a real piece of shit.  That QT both admires him as a performer yet doesn't paint him as a great guy (though never addresses his criminal behavior head on despite jumping forward in time through others careers) is part of the confounding depth of the story of Once Upon A Time in Hollywood (both book and film).  He clearly loves the era, but is also not completely ignorant of the real nature of the men involved, and yet isn't directly addressing these behaviors either.

It's the complexity of being a QT fan.  He's able to write these awful lines of dialogue (it's hard to forget his troublesome penchant for using the n-word), there's often a thread of misogyny, homophobia and/or racism to many of his central characters.  In prose, that he's able to put his head inside someone like Cliff makes it hard to separate the thinking and thought patterns of the character from those of the author.  It makes it challenging to

Sharon Tate spills out as a kind, generous, loving, upbeat, intelligent woman in the book. You actually can gather that from the film, but it's very spelled out in the novel. Tarantino clearly adores her.  He shows Tate's presence in the lives of the people she knew meant their lives were better.  She was aware of Hollywood's desire to portray her as sexy, and she would use that to advance herself.  The scene where she goes to watch her own performance in a Matt Helm movie, in the film, has its own layers as it's Margot Robbie watching the Real Sharon Tate, a sure signifier of the artificial edifice of the film, but in the book it's in Tate's mind as she wants to get a true gauge of how her comedic performance - an extension of her acting ability she has the least confidence in - goes over in an average crowd.  One of QTs mandates for the story (in both forms) was to cover over the label of victim that has defined Tate for decades, instead showing people an actress on-the-rise who was Hollywood beautiful but versaitile, and also that she was genuinely a good person, the kind the world needs to be a better place.  Her kindness and good nature is in stark opposition to men like Rick and Cliff.

The infamous murder of Tate, Jay Sebring and the other visitors to her home is retconned in Tarantino's representation of 1969 Hollywood, as the "Manson family" members get the wrong house and wind up facing Cliff Booth instead, with a much different result.  In the film, this is an aggressively violent sequence of Brad Pitt beating the living tar out of the intruders in a scene which ogles the violence with the same fascination of an 1970's grindhouse or Giallo.  In the book this sequence -- which is the climax of the film -- is reduced to a half-paragraph jump-forward mention partway through an early chapter of the novel, another key sign early on the book experience was to be drastically different from the cinematic one.

That Bruce Lee incident gets completely recontextualized, and in its telling, having the luxury of observing from both Cliff and Lee's perspectives, notes that the reason Lee appears to have lost the fight was because he didn't want to hurt Cliff (or rather that he couldn't hurt Cliff or he may have been fired from The Green Hornet), but that Cliff had absolutely zero compunction about hurting Lee.  As well QT gets into how Cliff suckered Lee, and Lee knew it, only too late.  It acquits Lee in the loss, but also serves to re-up Cliff's awful nature.  It's nuance the film isn't able to cover (and perhaps shouldn't have even been in the film at all?).

Charles Manson is more of a spectre that haunts the film, but has much more of a presence in the novel.  QT is of the generation to have a perverse fascination with the cult leader, and did the research to get in his head.  The boogeyman that only scared people after being put away is very much demystified here, as a small man with big ambitions as a musician only to fail and fumble his way into leading lost and wayward teens.  He would trick them out in his quest to advance his career,and keeping them pliable via a steady diet of drugs and philosophical platitudes.  Under the guise of free love and anti-establishment counter-culture, he was a true predator who preyed on the people whom he then taught how to prey upon others.  There are sequences here that further integrate Manson into the story QT is telling, sequences that flesh out the events of the film even more.  The intonation of the story seems to be that for all the disgusting things Cliff is, at least he's not Charlie Manson.

As well, QT gets into the actual story of the pilot of that Lancer television series, obviously a fictional pilot versus the one that got made, but it equates for two full chapters, told as a narrative rather than relayed as a meta narrative (in the final chapter of the novel, QT writes Rick as Rick as well as his Lancer character, exemplifying how actors dissappear into their roles).  It's actually one of the most engaging aspects of the books, these sudden divergences into a very pulpy 60's western.  I won't be surprised if there's a completed 90-minute Lancer screenplay that QT has written, ready to take this forgotten series and rebirth it.  The only thing he's missing is the stars of the 60's.  These Lancer chapters may be the least Tarantino-esque things Tarantino has ever written since he has to adhere to 60's network TV storytelling norms.

The oddest aspect of the book is QT's decision to insert himself into it, twice within the last 50 pages.  In the same chapter, he makes reference to a character's future acting career, and inserts that character into three fictional movies from real directors, including "Quentin Tarantino's 1999 remake of the John Sayles script for the gangster epic The Lady In Red" (another Google search reveals Sayles wrote the screenplay for the 1979 Lewis Teague movie The Lady In Red).  Later that same chapter, Cliff, Rick and Lancer star Jim Stacy go out for drinks and meet Quentin's real-life stepfather who then gets Rick to sign an autograph for his son "Quint...Quentin".  Unpacking this crossover of reality into fiction (which ostensibly is the whole Once Upon A Time In Hollywood story) seems cute, but is this just a sign of Quentin's desire to be a part of the late-60's Hollywood story?  Is the intonation that Hollywood would have been different had the Manson Family murders been prevented destroyed by noting that The Lady In Red is still a screenplay, and that various other films like Melvin and Howard, Prizzi's Honor and Boys Don't Cry all still exist?  This kind of cheeky Stephen King-ish metatext only confuses things.  Then again, QT often would insert himself into his own films as a character, maybe to the detriment of those films, so is this less egregious?

I found Once Upon A Time In Hollywood to be an effortless read, challenged only by the ugly thoughts of 1960's-era men and the perpetual need to see whether what QT is writing about is real or made up (so many Google searches performed in the reading of this book).  QT's dialogue is as deft as ever, but his prose is equally fluid.  There's always a sense that the writer is fully engaged at all times with what is being written.  Nothing feels labored over here, surprisingly, given the novel's gestation period.  I don't know that it satisfies as a stand-alone novel (having seen the film already, it's too hard to judge) but as a companion to the film, it fleshes it out even further, deepens and adds context to sequences that played differently without it.  It's perhaps best described as a novel of deleted and extended scenes. 

The more I think about it, however, the more I wonder what QT is actually trying to say about Hollywood 1969, beyond the fact that he wishes he were a part of it.  I don't think he's lamenting its loss, or trying to damn it... I even hesitate to say he's trying to come to some sort of understanding about his fascination with - or relationship to - the era.  The fact that he has Roman Polansky and Jim Stacy as two lauded characters in his book, but with their future criminal lives as predators of children left out, (not to mention a strip tease from an underage girl in the car with Cliff) makes for complicated consideration of just what is QT trying to say.

I get the sense that there's more Once Upon A Time In Hollywood material for QT to flesh out, more that he could do with it, that there's still other avenues for facets of the story or the setting to appear.  Time will tell.



 

Sunday, March 22, 2020

3+1 Short Paragraphs: Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)

2020, Cathy Yan (Dead Pigs) -- download

This is the first of probably a long series of posts about Watching During the Pause. This is a new world, a scary world, a world where studios cannot release new movies to the cinemas, so they are releasing first (or releasing early) to Online. And thus, if it's online, it can be pirated. But a lot more movies will get out there, a lot more movies will hit the services people are already signed up for, or were considering. Like I said in days past, seeing movies Online will become a thing when they make it easier to just pay & watch than figuring out a way to pirate safely.

Harley Quinn was born not of the Batman comics, but of the Batman: the Animated Series. She's The Joker's girlfriend and partner in psychotic crime, who began her career as his therapist. In the movies, she got her introduction via Suicide Squad which gathered together a bunch of Batman villains to fight and even Badder Guy. Birds of Prey started as a comic with Black Canary and Barbara Gordon / Oracle, but later expanded to include The Huntress, and even later versions included Gordon as Batgirl. I am not sure there is was ever a version that included Harley or Cassandra Cain or Renee Montoya, but the latter got her start in The Animated Series as well, so at least there is a tenuous connection. AND Cain actually is one of the Batgirls of later, so again tenuous connection. What I am getting at is that the label this movie grabbed makes no sense and I am not sure why the producers, Margot Robbie included, wanted to tie them together.

So, this is Harley (Margot Robbie, I, Tonya) post Suicide Squad and the Joker broke up with her. She's despondent, drowning her sorrows in the seedy clubs of Gotham's underground, and lacking friends. But she does have a new pet hyena named Bruce. She doesn't mean to, but ends up dragged into a plot involving Bad Guy Roman Sionis (Ewan McGrego, The Impossible), his club singer Dinah Lance (sans Ollie Queen; Jurnee Smollett-Bell, True Blood ), revenge fueled Crossbow Killer Huntress (Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Sky High) and older than your usual cop detective Montoya (Rosie Perez, Fearless). Oh, and there is a kid pickpocket who bears the name Cassandra Cain. After much rather humdrum misadventure, Harley convinces them all to team up with her to fight back against Sionis.

I went in with no malice intended against this movie. I didn't really know what to expect, beyond a bunch of psychedelic, over the top sequences focused on Margot Robbie. I wasn't sure how they were connecting her to the comic, but didn't really care. I also didn't care that this was part of the flop DC Universe. A nice stand-alone movie would be nice. Alas... sigh. It was just so very very tired and second rate. The acting was wooden, oh so painfully so for Winstead. The action scenes were ... lazy? I almost felt like I was watching cable TV. There we some fun scenes, like Harley invading the police station, and the car chase on roller skates, but beyond that I was just ... bored. Maybe its out current state of mind, maybe its the current state of the world, where maybe I need to be much further pulled out of reality to enjoy myself, but to me, this movie was even more unsatisfying than the Justice League movies that were at least pretty.

Monday, March 9, 2020

I Saw This!! What I Have Been Watching: 2020 Edition: Pt. E

I Saw This (double exclamation point) is our feature wherein Kent(!) or Toasty(¡) attempt to write about a bunch of stuff they watched some time ago and meant to write about but just never got around to doing so. But every time I try not to write, bad things happen, very bad things. Somewhere. To someone.

What I Have Been (or Am) Watching is the admitted state of me spending too much time in front of the TV. And despite what I said above, I have been avoiding telling you about what I have been watching. Not that you care. But at least I am not telling you about my character

Pt A is here. Pt B is here. And Pt C. And Pt. D.

Good Guys!

I just like watching TV shows where the good guys where white hats, and the bad guys where black. Sure, I don't mind a bit of complication here and there, a bit of humanity in my non-reality, but I guess I am just not built to root for the bad guy. There may be a few exceptions but it explains why I never took to Breaking Bad, The Sopranos or The Shield. And it also explains why I continue to watch Magnum PI and The Rookie.

FBI, 2018-2020, CBS

The Dick Wolf formula (Law & Order) but applied to the FBI working out of NYC. Maggie Bell (Missy Peregrym, Van Helsing) and OA Zidam (Zeeko Zaki, 24: The Legacy) are the lead special agents / characters in this comfort food of crime fiction. Behind the scenes there is a regular cast of analysts and fellow agents, led by Jeremy Sisto and Sela Ward then Alana de la Garza. Each episode is either a murder that has impacts requiring the FBI to investigate (or politics just places them in the lead) or actual FBI stuff, like terrorism, espionage, etc. In today's fictional US crime landscape, what the FBI is mandated to investigate is fluid, so really anything can happen.

The Dick Wolf formula balances the investigation with the expansion of the characters' lives. We learn that Maggie still suffers after losing her husband to an unexplained murder, OA struggles with being a Muslim in today's America, Jubal (Sisto) is a recovering alcoholic and analyst Kristen Chazal (Ebonee Noel, Wrecked) continues to prove herself eventually being promoted to active field duty, but not without consequences.

These are good people, and it is nice to be able to approach the paranoid nature of American federal crime prevention without the cynicism of reality. This aspect of "Hollywood" has been capturing my attention of late, where in reality we fear or hate the Trump backed forces of oppression, these TV shows want to establish (at least in fiction) that they are still agents of Good.

Deputy, 2019-2020, Fox

American crime fighting organizations can be confusing. Sure, we in Ontario have the local police, the OPP (are you down with... ?) and the federal RCMP. In the US they have many many more branches, including the Sheriff's Dept. Think of sheriffs as the OPP for much of the US outside of "incorporated cities". In the LA Sheriff's Dept, the are contracted by the city, as well as the communities around the city, all inside LA county. There weirdest thing is that the Sheriff is elected, not appointed as the most appropriate. In some counties, the Sheriff may just be the best political figurehead.

In Deputy, the LA County Sheriff dies of a heart attack and Bill Hollister steps in. Bill (Stephen Dorff, Alone in the Dark) is a cowboy -- tough, gruff and more comfortable kicking down doors than playing politics. But he despises his rival, the man who expected to assume the Sheriff's role, so he keeps the job and proceeds to fight to change the internal political behaviour he observes. All the while he continues to shoot at bad guys, ride horses and constantly go where he knows he shouldn't.

I normally wouldn't enjoy this Walker, Texas Ranger style program but they have an agenda beyond romanticizing "real men" and classic American ideals; this show is definitely Left. Let's ignore that Bill has married a Mexican woman and is deep in the culture, especially as his daughter approaches her quinceañera. The episode where Bill breaks up an ICE raid because he sees himself as protecting all the citizens under his hat, even though not yet real certified as citizen. To him they were victims of a sex trafficking ring and his to protect, fuck the Federal money from ICE. Also Bill is assigned an assistant: a driver, bodyguard and someone who helps him navigate the never ending meetings he has to attend. At first, we see Bishop, a butch lesbian (Bex Taylor-Klaus, The Last Witch Hunter) but soon we learn they are in the initial stages as identifying as non-binary. Bill is visibly uncomfortable but also very VERY clear that Deputy Bishop is His People, worthy of his respect and understanding. Bill is a Good Man and the entire show is about showing us that this is what LA County needs right now.

FBI: Most Wanted, 2019-2020, CBS

Not that I generally have a lot to say about all these shows, but this one I have the least to say other than I am watching it, irregularly, in that I am downloading in batches and watching a few episodes when I don't find myself gravitating elsewhere. That aspect of my Watching is odd to me, in that there are shows I drop but shouldn't have, shows I should be watching but don't and shows I definitely shouldn't be watching but do. Well, this show, for me, is like toast. I don't have toast every night or day, despite my moniker. But when I do, I tend to sit down for four slices and a large glass of milk and just enjoy. It's comfort food, something to settle in with and let it help slide the world away. The same of this show, it not being anything grand or even bad, in the other direction, but it is something familiar, predictable and comforting.

Now, this spin-off of the main show, focuses on a team that is primarily hunting down people on the Most Wanted list. Led by the Jess LaCroix (Julian McMahon, Runaways) this squad uses skills and mainly tenacity to find people who have committed heinous crimes, usually murder or kidnapping, and gone on the run. Once the perps leave the state, these guys are called in. The little bit of personal development is left to our exploration of LaCroix, who in the field is more than a little bit of an asshole, driven and forthright, but at home, he is dealing with the death of his wife, a native American soldier who died overseas. The show is exploring the relationship between him and his daughter, and his wife's people, as she lives with her grandparents. As a reminder, his wife's brother is on his team.

The show is the thinnest of character development and a lot of people die on this one. But it follows the formula well enough to attract me over the other crimes shows like NCIS or Hawaii Five-Oh.

Thursday, February 20, 2020

3 Short Paragraphs: Den of Thieves

2018, Christian Gudegast (writer London Has Fallen) -- Netflix

*flick flick flick*

Too heavy, already seen, too heavy, too heavy, too heavy, Marmy wants to see, etc. Those are my usual "flicking through the channels" thoughts as I sit in front of the TV on a Saturday afternoon.And some days I am just in the mood for a "generic crime movie". So, I like Pablo Shreiber and Gerard Butler, so why not. And I got exactly what I was looking for; something to turn the brain off and make mental notes on the generic nature of crime movies set in LA.

A bunch of bad guys rob an armoured car, geared up like it was a video game inspired by the famous scene from Heat. Some people get killed including one of the bad guys. Next morning, enter Gerard Butler and his Major Case Squad. First impressions -- tough guy, bad guy, possibly even the actual bad guys or maybe they are even going to be worse than the actual bad guys, and the armoured car robbers will be robbed by them. In watching these kind of movies, there are thousand cliche directions these movies go, even when they are trying to do the unexpected. Alas, this movie went in ways I didn't even expect.

At its core, it's a heist movie. Pablo Shreiber is leading a squad of his own, all ex-cons with military training. They stole the truck, not primarily for its money, but to bolster the real job -- where they will steal from the Federal Reserve. There's a complicated plan involving lots of misdirection. Meanwhile Butler and his squad, all tattooed and grimy and chasing hookers when they should be home with their wives, are on Shreiber, knowing something is up, but not sure what. At the end, the real end of the movie, where bad guys shoot at good guys and key characters are lost, we find there was an entirely different misdirect, one that I both admired and rolled my eyes at rather heavily. Why does everyone have to be trying to setup a franchise?

Friday, January 3, 2020

3 Short Paragraphs: Six Underground.

2019, Michael Bay (The Rock) -- Netflix


Yes, that was my first thought. And no that does not count as the first paragraph. This does. OK, technically the next does.

I am not a Bay Fan. But strangely enough, a fan of many Bay Movies. I have to admit, he does have style. And who wouldn't think, that when combined with Ryan Reynolds personality, there could be a little bit of over the top magic? Well, based on Reynold's promotion of the movie via social media, I sure did. His statement of it being the most baytastic Michael Bay movie of all times, and his counting of the number of the baysplosions, just sold it to me. Of course, we have to expect a bit of fourth-wall breaking or meta commentary from Reynolds, as he may have inadvertently type-cast himself (as himself) via Deadpool. Alas...

Reynolds plays <Insert Technology Billionaire>  man who becomes disillusioned with the world and decides to do something about it. Fund climate change? Feed the starving? Fuel research into world saving technologies? Nope, he decides to fake his death and recruit a bunch of <insert character card> cliche SMEs to help him take down definitively Evil (Big E) Bad Guys, of which there number Six. Six Bad Guys vs Six Good Guys. Cuz that makes sense.

The movie focuses on Bad Guy Number One, a despotic leader of a desert-y X-istan country. What follows are a bunch of highly Bay choreographed action pieces funded by Reynolds, who has a loose, badly put together plan that relies on... luck? First all, I get some of his hires, as they are worldly spies or hitmen, but why a doctor? Sure, have your Secret Base stocked full of doctors but bringing her along on missions full of guns and guns and guns and baysplosions? But it's Bay-tastic and doesn't have to make sense. So, then why... is... it... so... boring. I literally began following asleep as we jumped from one Baysplosive scene to the next, one Reynolds quip to the next, one super-saturated beautiful set-piece to the next. In the end, they kill one (ONE!) main Evil Bad Guy, so I assume he is hoping for a franchise? Not sure I will be there...

And they didn't even use the song...

Tuesday, October 1, 2019

I Saw This!! What I Have Been Watching: 2019 Edition: Pt C

I Saw This (double exclamation point) is our feature wherein Kent(!) or Toasty attempt to write about a bunch of stuff they watched some time ago and meant to write about but just never got around to doing so. But we can't not write cuz that would be bad, very bad.  Smells bad, bad.

What I Have Been (or Am) Watching is the admitted state of me spending too much time in front of the TV. And despite what I said above, I have been avoiding telling you about what I have been watching. But let's try with what's on right now, and stepping backwards in time until I get entirely lost. The bad smell should help me find my way back.

Pt A is here. Pt B is here.

Another Life
and Stranger Things S3 and iZombie S5.

Binge watching is for those shows you just cannot get enough of, right? Those shows that are so good you chow down on them like a bag of your favourite carbohydrates

"Just one more..."

I don't actually generally binge; I pace out over a few nights at the least, sometimes up to a week if I want to savour. But Another Life had me pretty much racing from episode to episode until we hit the end. Was it that good? Oh good gawds no!! It was so terrible I was just racing from episode to episode to see what they would do next and whether they would start making something coherent from the mess.

Hint: They never do.

Take all the current space shows on Netflix. Add in all the popular space movies from the past fifteen years. Notice that The CW has a lot of shows with young beautiful people, and they do pretty well. Grab a figurehead of current scifi TV, Katee Sackhoff and give her the lead. Now grab your creative blender and pulse on HIGH. Alas, your blender sucks and chokes halfway through giving you a pulpy, runny mess that looks bad and smells worse. But the mixture has some booze in it so might as well finish. That metaphor makes about as much sense as this series.

Alien Spaceship lands in BC, cuz all current scifi is in BC. Its big and crystally and scary, so rather than focus on studying it, the world is going to sink a ton of cash (well, into the spaceship but not the hiring process) and send a spaceship to the origin planet, far far far away. Cuz that THAT'S how you investigate something happening right here on the planet Earth.

Neko (Sackhoff) is the captain but her second in command was passed over and is all cranky about it. Also, she did something in her past that got her crew killed, or something. We never really find out, despite there pretty much being an entire episode dedicated to it. Off into space they go with all their baggage and ineptitude and inexperience and emotional immaturity. We get Alien ripoffs and dream torture and randy sex and bugs and accidents with the equipment (fixed by unplugging hoses), lethal doses of melty radiation, an AI with Pinocchio syndrome, people constantly screaming at each other, faulty sleep chambers, mutinies, creatures exploding from bodies, etc etc ad infinitum. It just goes on and on jumping from one trope to the next at a break-neck pace, which is why I couldn't stop watching. WHAT WILL THEY DO NEXT !?! I won't even bother mentioning the Arrival back on Earth bit.

And we never actually find out why it's called Another Life.

Meanwhile, Stranger Things S3 comes along and blows all my expectations out of the water. After a milquetoast second season, which I liked better in re-watching (we didn't remember ANYTHING about it), this season was just spectacular. Not as ground-breaking as S1 but just as enthralling and even more dosed with character building and age appropriate genre fun.

I liked that this season let the characters grow up, including Lucas's fucking annoying little sister and even Will, still in recovery mode from season 1. Recovery. You would think there would be more trauma amongst the kids. They fought fucking monsters, afterall. But kids are resilient and they have hormones and kissing behind mostly closed doors to focus on.

This show is always about visiting the tropes and plot touch points of 80s (and peripherally late 70s, early 90s) related pop culture. So, this season we get some bodysnatching, focus on a mall, Russian bad guys, more dark experiments and gorey elements of horror. The Mind Flayer from last season had an aspect left behind when Eleven closed the rift. It wants revenge and it wants Will. Meanwhile Russians have a secret base underneath the town where they try to recreate the experiments that brought low Hawkins Power & Light (side note: I think it should have been Hawkins Power & Water considering the prevalence of energy vs water in the series). This plot allows Steve and his new co-worker (brief love interest) to shine in a side story that collides in a Boss Battle at The Mall. Some stories tie up, some open up and there is more tragedy since Season 1. All in all, I just like the way this season came together, even if they did somewhat overdose on the pop culture notes.

And then iZombie came to an end in a bittersweet, not entirely fulfilling but still incredibly enjoyable series end. Genre TV always has issues with coming to an end. Either they spin out for far too long and have to conclude with a bang or they are cut off far too soon and we are left hanging. I think I like that they chose to come to an end before they ran out of the fuel that made the show so charming.

In case you don't watch or recall, iZombie is based loosely on a comic by Mike Allred but has very little to do with that story beyond a white haired girl zombie as the main character. In this version of the walking dead, the virus / infection / chemical alterant effects Liv More (heh) while she is at a yacht party but she is able to hide the change by dumping her family & fiance (mega alpha Major Lillywhite) and going all goth, pale skin and white hair and mopey hide at home. She works at the morgue with ultra trendy nerd Ravi Chakrabarti which gives her easy access to her one food -- brains ! And with the ingestion of brains comes flashbacks of the deceased's life, which lends to Crime Solving with Detective Clive Babineaux.

The series expands from the Crime of the Week into an epic story about the emergence of Seattle's zombie minority, eventually culminating in the knowledge of the zombie "species" being released to the world. Seattle is walled off, the government wants to nuke them into oblivion and the peace is kept tentatively by a corporation called Fillmore Graves (groan) made up entirely of zombies.

Rob Thomas previously built his fame from Veronica Mars which we are currently re-watching. Condensed single episodes with adorable characters and a mix of ensemble quirky cast members is his forte so we were on board even if not for my fondness for brain eaters.

As the series comes to an end Major (now head of Fillmore Graves) is doing his best to hold the peace against extremist humans and extremist zombies. Liv's best friend, and Ravi's main squeeze, is deposed as mayor. Main Bad Guy Blaine is back along with his sidekick Don E, easily one of the best characters in the show. A lot of plot threads from previous seasons are artfully visited and tied up. Clive had a baby and had her smuggled out of Seattle. Major is dealing with coup d'etat and Blaine and Don E are discovering exactly how much they are not best buds. I love that we cannot deny that Don E is a bad guy but really just end up rooting for the guy. After seasons of wondering whether Blaine was actually trying to redeem himself he once again proves himself a complete, evil ass. But a charming, sexy ass. Ravi gets to be the Good Guy who gets the Girl. Liv continually deals with rock & a hard place situations but comes out on the moral high ground. Nothing really extremely revealing happens here but even after discovering a cure for being a zombie (which is weird unto itself -- the body is dead; how can you CURE it ?) the metaphor for being Not Normal is accepted and the zombies we have come to love stay as zombies and live happily ever after.

Tuesday, September 10, 2019

3+1 Ranty Paragraphs: Dark Phoenix

2019, Simon Kinberg (screenwriter for last few X-Men movies) -- download

**warning: spoilers, cuz I don't have the energy to hide stuff for this one**

WTF. Seriously, WTF. How do you adapt a beloved X-Men comics story (Uncanny X-Men #129-138) into something so... bland. Hell, even if X-Men: Days of Future Past wasn't great, at least I seemed to have enjoyed it. But this did... nothing for me. Again, it was not terrible in execution or craft, but.. oh, I don't know, its just so frustrating, I find myself wishing I had just disliked it, because then I would not just hate it for being so utterly workaday.

Following in the path of the other First Class movies, we are still in the the X-Men's past, pre-Wolverine, under the tutelage of a still young, pre-Jean-Luc Picard, Charles Xavier (James McAvoy; The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe) and 10 years after the last movie (X-Men:Apocalypse) and we have the X-Men as the darlings of the US Govt. I guess having saved the world from a mutant wannabe god made them acceptable & likable enough to have an X-Phone (yep, direct line to POTUS) and being beckoned to save some astronauts. While in space, Jean Grey is dosed with The Phoenix Force, which I just saw as a colourful version of Galactus from the original Fantastic Four movies or maybe even Parallax from Green Lantern?? She survives.

Back on Earth, before you can finish a Dazzler bonfire party, Phoenix goes boom. Everyone is afraid! Everyone is worried! Jean is angry! Charles lied! Aliens arrive, and eat someone's dog and become an uncharacteristically alien looking Jessica Chastain -- seriously, she isn't alien looking because she's an alien, but because they made her look like an Emma Frost knock-off. Oh whatever, after confronting a not-dead Dad (Charles lied!), Jean runs to Magneto to help her, bats around some US Army (POTUS has decided the revoke the Bat.. er X-Phone because she made some holes in crappy houses and schmushed some cars) helicopters and then runs off again. Eventually everyone catches up with everyone, some zip bang slash crash pew pew pew, and the soldiers capture everyone but Alien Jessica Chastain.

About the only interesting segment of the entire movie is the train ride from Deadpool 2. The aliens attack and everyone gets to let loose because, you know aliens. Its a fun battle. But they didn't even do the sacrificial attack that climaxed the comics, they just had her pop like a fireworks display. There is a sub-plot about Charles being not-nice, so at the end of the movie he leaves the school in the hands of Beast and goes to Paris to play chess with Magneto. So, technically it all looked good and had some exciting bits (and Dazzler !!) but *yawn* oh-mi-gawd, it had no idea what it wanted to do with the franchise, just milk some rewards from another known X-Men comic story (if you are over 30) and ... move on? Oh, and Jennifer Lawrence definitely moved on, getting killed early in the movie, so I guess we now have to Google "how can Mystique be dead" to find out how the early version of the franchise even starts.

Wednesday, August 14, 2019

I Saw This!! Post-Deletion Phase

I Saw This (double exclamation point) is our feature wherein Graig or David attempt to write about a bunch of stuff they watched some time ago and meant to write about but just never got around to doing so. And despite hiatuses, where some movies might just get washed away in the apathy, it still makes us feel crotchety to NOT write something them.

Venom, 2018, Ruben Fleischer (Zombieland) -- download/Crave

This was one of the pair of movies that were meant to resurrect previous renditions of popular characters/franchises, taking them in new directions. Oh, they did that, but in the most boring and divisive directions.

I originally saw both of the movies soon after they hit the *cough* digital downloads sites. But I didn't write. But due to finally seeing the evolution of our Internet-based, cable-cut movie & TV watching era come to a stage where it makes sense to actually PAY for them, I did. Ala carte offerings, served through the Internet, and viewed on your favourite devices (smart TV, game system, Android box, etc.) are the new (current new?) cable TV or satellite service. I said that I would start paying for services again when they better served me -- someone who didn't want a boatload of channels I didn't care for. Things are still fleshing out, for example the Crave app sucks terribly and Amazon Prime Video (in Canada) cannot get its shit together (only their own shows are worth the dollar, and fewer still are actually in the claimed 4K), but at least it's there.

So, when I was stuck in a hotel, in a city that shut down at 6pm, where I could only drink so many craft beers (yes, I know, me! Faith & Begorra!) I plugged an HDMI cable from my laptop to the hotel TV (which had terrrrrible cable reception BTW), joined the free WiFi (better speed than I expected) and began "channel surfing". Most nights I was tired from long work-trip days, so ReWatches were in order.

The thing is, I couldn't actually finish the Venom rewatch. The first time round, the movie just .... bored me. The second time round, the movie just ... OK, what the fuck? How can Tom Hardy in a comic book movie bore me? Even at his most mundane, I enjoy Hardy, but for some reason I just could not get interested in what Hardy was doing with his asshole v-blogger being depicted as a legit journalist. But OK, I can live with that, what about Venom, the alien symbiote that started his "creation" as a Spider-Man suit? While not a fan of the anti-"hero" villain monster that people seem to love, I can at least understand the appeal. But instead of a nasty, juicy creature of the dark, I get a petulant teenager alien thing that ... oh, whatever. The whole movie just annoyed me.

I know this is one of those times when you talk to your coworker who just doesn't know how to watch movies with more than a passing glance, where they just don't seem to have a formed opinion as to why "dat movie just sucked dude". That guy is me right now, as I think it dumbed out any properly built opinion I had. I just could not warm to this movie, even in a hotel forced second viewing.

Kent has pretty much the same opinion, but a much better formed one...

Meanwhile...

The Predator, 2018, Shane Black (Iron Man 3) -- download/Crave

Why do I have such a fond opinion of Shane Black? Sure Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and The Nice Guys are brilliant and fun movies, but that's .... about it ? I subsequently love Iron Man 3 but that is probably all based around the kid in the small town aspects, as the rest is just lifted from Iron Man comics of one degree or another. So, again, why do I love Shane Black so much?

Just cuz. Cuz true Good Stuff comes along rarely while OK Stuff is everywhere and Utter Crap is mostly avoided, but still surrounds us. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is just incredibly, astoundingly Good Stuff, that I want his subsequent things to be as well done and as enjoyable. Alas, often the Good Directors get assigned to things just because. And that is not a good reason.

In pitch, this is a good re-launch of the franchise. Introduce the Predator creature to Americans long past the last Earth-bound story from 90s tale, and bring back the hunter-predator aliens for a current story. Add in some post-war vets, traumatized and damaged from what America has done to them and give them a reason to be Good Soldiers again. Alas, we get stuck with All Snark and Little Else. Its like a Writing Room just got printed on paper, to become a proper script, without any editing.

Sure there are good lines, and good performances and an interesting idea. But jeebus, it just never lifts off  the ground. I cannot say if it was Producer Meddling or the shadow of that horrendous scandal where a seemingly oblivious Black allowed a real-life human predator into his crew, but this movie just could not come together. It just could not captivate, nor hold together anything that was Shane Black. But I can say, at least, that it was a decent rewatch as a Hotel Movie.

I won't even bother attending to the plot.

Aquaman, 2018, James Wan (Saw) -- download

OK, despite the desires stated for the previous two movies, wherein I feel compelled to rewatch a movie in order to state intelligently about it, but this one? Nope. Why? I dunno, because I remember enjoying it. But like much of the DC Universe, once is enough. Well, if the DC Universe movies are terrible, I am at least compelled to watch again to see if I gave it a fair chance. What's up with that brain?

First up, I found Jason Momoa annoying as Aquaman in the Justice League movie. Let me rephrase that; I liked Jason Momoa, I can never NOT like him, but fuck what is with the WHA-HOO yelling? I guess they wanted a more irreverent, less grim character than the comic book renditions. If anything, give us more of the small fishing village fuck-superheroes version, but no we get X-Games Aquaman.

But damn, this movie is just pretty. Its just so colourful and brightly lit, I could not help but enjoy. But beyond that, I was not enthralled by this Avengers-Lite version of a superhero movie. The plot was a weak aspect of a Marvel style rebel-against-kingliness Thor but, well, better done. And I kept on expecting his mother to be Michelle Pfeiffer, mixing it up with the Antman reveal. Still, beyond Looking Good and Charismatic Momoa, I didn't see any reason to label it anything other than a Good On First Run movie.

P.S. What a terrible poster.

The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part, 2019, Mike Mitchell (Sky High) -- download

I never said a thing about The Lego Movie, during another rendition of I Saw This!! other than I couldn't stay awake. That's a terrible thing happening to me these days, as I turn into My Dad who always fell asleep watching TV post-supper. But some dramatic structures just don't hold me, including Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse which I, at first thought, it was just me, but a Crave-bound rewatch (today!!) confirmed, the third act puts me to sleep. I wish I could tell you what it was, but.... well, I had just briefly closed my eyes and then Miles was fighting the King Pin. Wait wait wait, THIS is a post about The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part not Spider-Verse, which deserves its own non-sleepy post, because everything I was awake for IS FUCKING BRILLIANT.

Anywayz, I did not enjoy the first movie all that much, as the rewatch referenced above, which generated the tangent, proved. And despite a lack of sleep, the second one didn't do all that much for me either. Oh, I was head over heels for their post-apocalyptic nod at the beginning, but to be all honest, it just lost me after that. The whole Duplo invasion is cute, but... what as the plot about again? The parallels between the Real World and the Lego World are cute, but... I dunno, have I lost my whimsy? Is that it? Am I no longer able to be charmed by play? This bears further therapy investigating.

Sunday, June 23, 2019

Mechanic(s)

The Mechanic, 2011, Simon West (Con Air) -- Netflix
The Mechanic: Resurrection, 2016,  Dennis Gansel (We Are the Night) -- Netflix

Conversation in the car the other day, "I never really liked action movies, but current movies such as John Wick have redefined what used to be a critically maligned genre." I didn't say that and he didn't say that, but that is what the conversation distilled down to. I tried to add in, but was shouted down, as they are wont to do, that every age of "action movie" had its John Wick and also, conversely its Chuck Norris flick. But I would also go as far as saying, dispensing with the Asylum level of flick, even the most terrible of genre action movie has gotten... better ?

Note: I am crafting above paragraph to see whether said coworkers in said car even read this fucking blog. Probably not. Fuckers.

The Mechanic is a re-make of a 70s Charles Bronson movie; I have no idea if it was John Wick 1972 or just the dross we speak of above. Never saw it, never really heard of it. But Bronson was the epitome of the dumb action movie "hero", not as terrible as Chuck Norris or Steven Seagal, but close. Many would probably lump Jason Statham into that place now, for better or worse. I think he is a cut above, carries a certain amount of charm to his roles. In this movie, he portrays Arthur Bishop, a mechanic, a hit-man, an assassin for hire with the ability & flair to make his kills look like they need to. If it has to be an accident, a simple hit, or an elaborate kill that sends a message, that is what he does.

After an intro kill that establishes his style, he is sent his next objective -- kill his mentor & friend Harry (Donald Sutherland). Harry has been accused of botching a job on purpose leading to the deaths of three operatives (other hit men) and pocketing a couple of million bucks. Bishop doesn't argue the details, and for some odd reason, either does Sutherland. And thus he dies.

Bishop is not happy about it, and his guilt leads him to take Harry's son Stephen (Ben Foster, Hell or High Water) under his wing. Stephen is angry, but he always was, and the only thing Bishop can do is turn his anger into the one skill he has -- killing. What makes this a cut above how other, more terrible movies, would have done it, is that its not a cut scene, or montage, but the full second act. We establish the characters, let them get to know each other and keep with the style of the movie. Its a nice bit, not spectacular but enjoyable.

And then the third act comes along, which lets the movie slide into the expected gutter. Its not that its entirely bad, its just .... typical. Foster and Statham hold their own, but its all about shooting and... well, I admit, was entirely forgettable. I don't even really remember what happened, other than Bishop discovering he was betrayed and punishing said betrayer. The movie comes to a close when Stephen realizes it was Bishop who killed his father, and despite their complete disconnect, he kills Bishop.

Or does he. Of course he doesn't.

And along comes The Mechanic: Resurrection. This is the movie that completely embraces its entirely pedestrian stroll into action flick territory. Whereas the first movie at least wanted to recreate a 70s actioner with some style, and attention to detail, this is ... just an action movie. Again, its not terrible its just ... typical. Even Statham cannot raise it above its mediocre status, Hell, not even Jessica Alba can help me out here.

This one tries to add to Bishop's history, drawing him out of his "retirement" and back into the game. His old friend from childhood wants him to kill three Bad Guys and uses Alba as a plant, a manufactured motivation. Even Michelle Yeoh comes along for the ride, briefly, to coax Bishop into doing the movie.

This is where I wonder why; why can't they at least try. In the 80s and 90s I was exposed to tons of Arnie and Stallone style action movies where the plot only led us from one explosion to the next, from one bad guy (small letters) being blown up and shot and killed in such boring ways, it just became a body count. Sure Wick has a HUGE body count, but the behaviour is wrapped up by style and flair and an emotive portrayal of the violence!

We are not yet in the age where actioners cannot be looked on without any derision. Even the best of them rely on a certain staging, a basic set of plot points that are familiar. Even Wick started with a "you killed my dog, prepare to die !!!" But I really wish they could just not be lazy. Plug & Play productions, like Asylum or Uwe Boll are one thing, but lazy movies are another.

Monday, April 24, 2017

Re/New-watch: Resident Evil: Retribution & The Final Chapter

As mentioned, by this point, I am fizzling out my interest in this franchise. I am wondering what the point was. But amusingly, enough not even re-reading my own words could remind me I was already done last time.

2012, Paul WS Anderson (Event Horizon, AVP, DOA) -- download

Holey Crap, I saw this one in the theatre? I think that is the only reason I tolerated it as much as I did. If it wasn't for Kevin Durand playing a kick-ass, cigar chomping tough guy, I could not have enjoyed this movie less. Sure, the resurrected characters from previous entries as clone bad guys was cute, but Oh Em Gee, the acting and directing is just so.. fucking.. bad. I was in full on I Am My Grandmother mode, yelling at the screen about my frustrations!

The movie is about a crew hired by Wesker (?!?) to invade yet another Umbrella facility to again try and End the Red Queen, that pesky AI that killed everyone in the first movie thus releasing the first zombies on the world. The Red Queen, built in the image of the daughter of the scientist who created the T Virus is doing that whole "save the world by killing the humans" thing. But folks, really, Wesker? P.S. Alice is already inside the facility, captured after getting every single survivor killed at the end of / beginning of the last / this movie. And so we can have a wake up scene. At least this time they offer her a commando suit instead of forcing her to go commando, under a slip of paper.

This time, the escape from the facility is not just the into sequence, but the entire movie. I am sure Anderson thought that was clever. A lot of this movie is clever, as each "level" of the facility is a new environment, including a Tokyo area, a Moscow area and a Toronto (*ahem* Racoon City) suburb area, so we can get that Dawn of the Dead ripoff out of system. And clones of previous characters. And lots of incredibly badly, and I mean BADLY, acted characters from the game.  All along with a well outfitted, well organized merc group, which is pretty good considering the world has already ended.

2016, Paul WS Anderson (The Three Musketeers) -- download

Aaaand the next movie is not much better. If we ended on the dumb dumb note of meeting up with Wesker at the ruins of the White House, as a horde is about to overrun it, then we have to begin there. Or wait, do we? Aren't there more facilities so she can do a wake-up scene? Nope, as this movie is called The Final Chapter we not only dispense with the wake-up-in-a-paper-shift scene but also don't bother with any facilities; in fact, we are on way back to the ORIGINAL facility, The Hive, in Racoon City!!

But wasn't that city destroyed at the end of movie 2? You are not mistaken; it was nuked, but that only ruined the city and left a big crater directly above the entrance to The Hive. And again, as if the Apocalypse hasn't been raging for years, there are survivors hanging out in the city as if things just happened yesterday.

Alice is on her way back, this time to do the dirty work for The Red Queen. As if being coerced and then (duhhhh) betrayed by Wesker wasn't enough, Alice thinks destroying what's left of Umbrella and get the cure (global cure, not personal cure, like she already had and lost) to the T-Virus from the original facility is a good idea. And there are only a few thousand humans left, who are about to be taken down by Umbrella, so Alice better hurry!

The crater sized holes in the plot are to be expected, but the most annoying thing about this movie is the retconning of series. In the second movie, we were introduced to the girl the Red Queen was based on, the daughter of the original scientist that Umbrella used to make the T-Virus. It had been created to assist his daughter to survive a debilitating disease, with the added side effect of creating zombies. When he discovered the side effect, he was ousted. He died at the end of the second movie and she..... well, she dropped of the plot cliff.

This time round, the doctor in question, was actually the head of Umbrella and was strangled by his business partner, Dr. Isaacs (Iain Glen) who previously was just an obsessed scientist in the 3rd movie, trying to make Super Zombies. But he took his own drug and died at the hands of Alice, as a malformed Super Deformed Zombie. Or so we thought. No, that was just his clone. The real Dr. Isaacs is now inside the re-utilized Hive along with some other shady figures. They are ending the world before Alice can save it. And there is another clone Isaacs, inside a Battle Wagon on its way to the city.

**SPOILERS** (like you even care)

Boom boom, pew pew, lots of zombies, shooting and other things that usually make this series a lot of fun, but by now are just tiring. There is some PoAp set dressing and a new dragon monster and some too-cool-must-die supporting characters, but they are just window dressing to the return to The Hive. You see, the core to the re-working of the Red Queen's origin is to have Alice/Milla even MORE central to the plot. The little girl Red Queen, whose debilitating disease was some sort of mutated progeria has, since the original movies, grown into a 20sumthin old woman in a wheel chair. And Alice whom we all love and root for, is her clone!!! Insert dramatic music.

Battle battle, explode explode, reveal End Game. Why was Umbrella willing to kill off every last human on the planet, only to have a cure AFTER everyone is dead? Because the core board members, who seem to number in the thousands, are frozen awaiting a cleansing of the world so they can return and control it. Ignore the fact that the world is a ravaged wasteland, it will be there's !!!  Insert evil cackle.

Alice blows it all up good sacrificing her aged self and her T-Virus laden life for the good of the remaining few thousand average humans. Yeah, not so smart. I am sure that facility was full of resources these few human survivors could have used, even if you ignore the potential breeding stock frozen in ice. But no, revenge is good, kill all the bad guys, cuz you are gonna die anyway.

But are you? Alice survives the wipe-out-the-T-Virus cure and now is the really, only, truly Alice. Final Chapter?? Not likely.

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Kong: Skull Island

2017, Jordan Vogt-Roberts (The Kings of Summer) -- cinema

Now that is how you do empty spectacle !!

King Kong has always been one of my favourite monsters. I remember the terror, titillation and marvel I approached the 1976 one with -- I was 9 when in cinema, so it must have been VHS tapes a few years later. From the Burt Reynolds wannabe (Charles Grodin with a moustache; years later, I realized it wasn't Reynolds) to me sharing the curiosity with the ape as to what was under all those beads to how they would get him off the island. And that poster, with feet a-straddle both of the World Trade Centres as he crushes a jet fighter. All my adolescent fascination with kaiju grew from that movie, as all I knew of the 30s flick was his fight with a t-rex. I own the Peter Jackson flick.

It's easy to say that this movie was meant to be Apocalypse Now with Giant Monkeys, but you cannot deny that Vogt-Roberts drew upon some 70s stylistic choices to depict his Vietnam era helicopter attack squad. Insert three Vietnam era war movies here. Sam Jackson plays their cannot-stop-fighting Colonel on the last day of the war, and when offered the chance to escort some scientist types to The Last Uncharted Island, he jumps at the chance. He knows something is up; you don't bring that many soldiers to a peaceful tropical paradise. You may wonder why they are setting a current King Kong movie in the 70s, but like John Goodman's Bill Randa dropping bombs to map geology, there are methods to the madness.

Once they fly the helicopters past the pink storm (seriously, can lightning even be pink?) we are given briefly over to a Marvel at the Majesty of Untouched Nature chopper flight before Kong tosses a tree through the lead helicopter. I get being distracted by all the pretty, but how do you miss an ape who is able to snatch helicopters out of the air? Where could he hide? That first battle, in which Jackson loses most of his soldier mooks and all his helicopters, is incredible, terrifying and filled with WTF. Dudes, stop flying within reach of those arms!! But it leaves our heroes separated and stranded on the island, Goodman feeling vindicated and Jackson happy he has another enemy to obsess over.

This movie is all, really well done setup. Not a lot makes sense, but this is not the movie of great import. The next few will be. Once we do the wink wink nod nod connection to Godzilla we get why they and we are here. Oh, you didn't know that by now? Puh-leeze; it only took three clips for that the be confirmed, and loudly. Randa was there on that first ship that Godzilla shredded; he was the last survivor. And he is a member of Monarch, that company from the first movie, but in the 70s they are failing, having no confirmed sightings since the military A-bombed Gojira in the 40s. This trip is his, his to confirm his life long obsession. The setting of the movie gives time for young Kong to grow, grow big enough to take on Godzilla. Right now he is Hold a Girl in the Palm of His Hand size, but in the future...

So, obviously, this is not the Capture Kong movies of previous plot fame. This is Get the Hell Out of Dodge movie, as the scientists and soldiers are no longer mapping the island, they are just trying to reach the exfil point before they are stranded. And between here and that point are monsters monsters monsters. And a bit of wonder. This island is chock full of nutzoid creatures, from the giant spider with bamboo legs to the titular Skull Crawlers. We never get to see the ants that sing like birds; maybe in the extended Blu-ray.

And Kong, lovingly CGIed (and mo-cap-ed by Toby Kebbell, who also plays a helicopter mook who doesn't last long) and very quickly our sympathetic beast. He is King after all, and you don't get to be King without subjects. The humans on the island, as explained by wacky Soldier Left Over from WWII John C Reilly, see Kong as their protector from all the other nasties. So yeah, Sam Jackson has to be stopped.

The thing is that for all the spectacular depictions of the island and Kong, the humans are rather a side note to the entire movie. When they are not monkey or monster snacks, they have very little personality and contribute almost nothing to the movie. And don't get me started on the inserted Chinese actor. I get it, China contributes a lot to the funding of movies these days, but for gawds sake Hollywood, work with them. At least the nameless jumpsuit scientists get to be stepped on or taken by flying Sawsharks, but she does nothing in the movie but emote badly and stick around till the very end.

All in all, I can actually say I liked it. But remember, I am the guy who loves disaster flicks.