2024, David Ayer (Suicide Squad) -- download
This one, typical of the kind of movie I rush to download now, that That Guy of my youth would have sneered at. Despite my comments prior, I did not waste my youth only watching terrible movies. To have found the quality actioner among the dross was a challenge, endlessly reading reviews and the backs of VHS boxes. But as I got older, I tempered, reduced my desire to be challenged all the time. Sometimes, and more often than not now, I just want familiarity, a digestible plot, the same brain chemistry release I get when I play FPS video games. Oh, I want some semblance of capability, as if all I wanted was the concept, there are endless number of Z-grades on Amazon and Tubi.
Yes, I know I have said that umpteen times but I still catch myself wondering why Toasty Now actually looks forward to movies that Toast Then (aka That Guy) would have sneered at.
David Ayer doesn't have a great track record in my world (actually no, scratch that dude. other than Suicide Squad, you rather like his work), but TBH I didn't even know he did the movie till I clicked Start. What I knew going in was that this was seminal Jason Statham, who is still in his prime Action Hero role for at least a decade, before he gets relegated to my other favourite (one of) genre of Aging Shooter. Here, he is a retired.... agent... of an organization called The Beekeepers, Ayer's version of Vaughn's "The Kingsmen", except there only seems to be one Beekeeper at any one time, a legendarily capable soldier for America, who stands aside from the politics and the laws to always set things right.
Statham is the same age as me, i.e. we are both turning 57 this year. On one hand, he is very very VERY much in better shape for a guy our age, than I am. On the other hand, he or his purple suit, were very concerned about his "greying" as he has the most obviously dyed beard. People have asked me if I have ever thought about dying my facial hair as my head-hair is still mostly sans grey, but after seeing how blatant his was, and he doesn't even have any head-hair, I am secure being (more) salt & pepper.
Adam Clay (Statham, Parker) is quiet in his retirement as he... well, keeps bees. That is, until Evil Scammers scam the Old Lady (Phylicia Rashad, The Cosby Show) he rents bee space from, stealing from her not only her own money, but the money from the charity she runs. In response, he uses his old Bee Keeper contacts to blow the Evil Scammer callcentre up, which strangely enough, is not in a foreign country, but in midwest US of A, and looks like the set of a 90s hacker movie, replete with tacky clothing and annoying personalities, all the while spitting out an endless litany of bee knowledge. Meanwhile the Old Lady's daughter (Emmy Raver-Lampman, The Umbrella Academy), a member of law enforecement who happens to have been trying to take down these Evil Scammers, follows Clay from blowed-up-place to blowed-up-place. MEANWHILE, the Top Evil Scammer (Josh Hutcherson, The Hunger Games) happens to be a pampered rich boy who uses his pampered rich mom's contacts (Jeremy Irons, Dungeons & Dragons [not that one]) to find out who is blowing up his call centres, leading to a John Wick "oh" moment, when they discover Clay was a Bee Keeper.
For the most part, the movie is an unremarkable, familiar action movie, paced as well as expected, with a slight twist that is more of an eye roll. It introduces an an interesting John Wick-ian organization, but never really does anything with it. So.... pretty much as I expected / sought out?
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