Jay and Silent Bob Reboot

2019, d. Kevin Smith - AmazonPrime

I was a massive Kevin Smith fan back in the 90's; wildly entertained by his salty dialogue, his geeky undercurrents heretofore unseen in the mainstream, and he had the first real sense of universe-building and shared continuity long before the MCU found success with it. But as I grew up as a movie viewer I found Smith didn't grow much as a filmmaker with me.

Stylistically, he's self-admittedly never been able to dazzle with the camera's lens. The deeper one goes into his repertoire, the more one wishes he still was beholden to the limitations he had with Clerks.

The man is a talker, as witnessed by his numerous speaking tours and his multitude of podcasts. Like many a geek, he likes to talk, opine, geek out and rant... the key distinguisher from, say, myself, is he actually takes the initiative to create as well, and had the gall to be a moderate success along the way. So his films reflect his verbosity, with the dialogue having always been the key draw.

But the juvenile sensibility to his dialogue -- extensive cursing, sexual innuendo, and pseudo-boundary pushing -- wore thin by the time of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.  Even more egregiously, like latter-day Simpsons, that film spent way too much time passing off self-reference as comedy.

Smith's career has been a see-saw since then. Red State showed improvement as a storyteller and a willingness to move beyond his standard tropes, while Clerks II (and even the maligned Jersey Girl) showed he had more on his mind as a writer. But then the atrocity of Cop Out and wildly unnecessary goof-em-up films like The Walrus and Yoga-Hosers seemed to undermine any sense of real auteurship, any sense of a place where he's not only comfortable operating in, but competent too.

These days he seems most at home in his podcast network, whil doing side jobs on the CW superhero shows like Flash and Supergirl put him in a machine that's too big for him to fail. So coming back to Jay and Silent Bob, particularly after the ugliness of the last movie they featured in, was not necessarily the most welcome news from Smith, and the parade of guest stars and names reprising past "View Askewniverse" characters announced made it sound like another tired retread of past glories.

The opening of Jay and Silent Bob Reboot is a painful exercise in production company title card creep, followed by an opening sequence that screamed at me to immediately turn off the film and do something better with my time. Out front of the old Quick Stop location (an artificial but accurate recreation) it's immediately reliving old jokes, delivering a crudely juvenile "Cock Smoker" joke name for a chicken sandwich place (a brief moment later it revisits this joke and smugly takes time to have Craig Robinson and Joe Manganiello laugh at it), and Jay do his "Buffalo Bill" impression when he mistakes the police order to "put the plants down" to "put the pants down". This would have been pretty funny in Smith's second or third feature in the mid-90's but we're over a dozen features in and this is about as sophisticated that Smith's comedy seems to get.

The film spends the next 20 minutes revisiting old jokes, making painfully unfunny new jokes (puns and weed jokes mostly), and managed a parade of guest stars including Molly Shannon, Fred Armisen, Kate Micucci and Justin Long before it gets to the crux of what it wants to deal with: Jay learning he's the father of an 18 year old girl, and then coming to terms with it via a road trip that conveniently intersects with the otherwise rehashed plot of Jay and Silent Bob going to Hollywood to stop a reboot of Bluntman and Chronic.

The father-daughter road trip is full of inane turns (so much pot talk and guest appearances, and a couple go-nowhere complications like a menace-free encounter with the Klan) but it still has a tremendous amount of heart as Jay's paternal instincts, self-doubt and nervousness ground the film with some sense of reality and meaning.

The third act is a messy mixed-bag of this earnest - and welcome - sentimentality and a level of self-reference/fourth wall breaking that actually fatigued my eye-rolling muscles.

"Chronic-con", a Jay and Silent Bob/Bluntman and Chronic-themed convention, is where, in-movie, director Kevin Smith is filming the final scene of his Bluntman and Chronic reboot. Anything having to do with this film or its director is the most tiresome winky comedy (often directly into camera), and he just keeps going back to it.

Conversely though, the cameos and trips down memory lane make much more sense at a convention, with Jay and SB running past the cast of Clerks (in black and white, a good gag but held on too long) or encountering Ben Affleck's Holden and Joey Lauren Adams' Alyssa from Chasing Amy to see where they are today and make some genuinely welcome (and meaningful) contributions to the plot while also serving as both a necessary critique of the film and a coda to it.

The big climax (snoogans) of the film is wacky surrealism, which the film otherwise does a decent job at staving off for most of its run (though it finds its way through here or there like creeping bellflower), but the sweet heart at the core of it makes it more palatable than it otherwise should be.
This is not a great film, but you can see the gestation in Smith's friendship with Jason Mewes, and Mewes newfound parentage providing inspiration for he script (his actual daughter appears in a prominent scene). It's somewhat familiar ground from Jersey Girl but its a logical happy place for Smith to operate in and show some maturity.

Harley Quinn Smith, as Jay's daughter, Millennium Falcon, Treshelle Edmond and AP Bio's Aparna Brielle provide some distinctly feminine energy and youthful vigor to an otherwise (acknowledged) dated pairing. Of the guest spots aplenty, Chris Hemsworth comes out on top ("It's Hems-worth it"), with Method Man, Redman, Affleck, Adams and Rosario Dawson following close behind.

Not the exact waste of time I was expecting. Strangely, as a lapsed Kevin Smith fan, it felt like closure I didn't know I needed.

3+1 Ranty Paragraphs: Dark Phoenix

2019, Simon Kinberg (screenwriter for last few X-Men movies) -- download

**warning: spoilers, cuz I don't have the energy to hide stuff for this one**

WTF. Seriously, WTF. How do you adapt a beloved X-Men comics story (Uncanny X-Men #129-138) into something so... bland. Hell, even if X-Men: Days of Future Past wasn't great, at least I seemed to have enjoyed it. But this did... nothing for me. Again, it was not terrible in execution or craft, but.. oh, I don't know, its just so frustrating, I find myself wishing I had just disliked it, because then I would not just hate it for being so utterly workaday.

Following in the path of the other First Class movies, we are still in the the X-Men's past, pre-Wolverine, under the tutelage of a still young, pre-Jean-Luc Picard, Charles Xavier (James McAvoy; The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe) and 10 years after the last movie (X-Men:Apocalypse) and we have the X-Men as the darlings of the US Govt. I guess having saved the world from a mutant wannabe god made them acceptable & likable enough to have an X-Phone (yep, direct line to POTUS) and being beckoned to save some astronauts. While in space, Jean Grey is dosed with The Phoenix Force, which I just saw as a colourful version of Galactus from the original Fantastic Four movies or maybe even Parallax from Green Lantern?? She survives.

Back on Earth, before you can finish a Dazzler bonfire party, Phoenix goes boom. Everyone is afraid! Everyone is worried! Jean is angry! Charles lied! Aliens arrive, and eat someone's dog and become an uncharacteristically alien looking Jessica Chastain -- seriously, she isn't alien looking because she's an alien, but because they made her look like an Emma Frost knock-off. Oh whatever, after confronting a not-dead Dad (Charles lied!), Jean runs to Magneto to help her, bats around some US Army (POTUS has decided the revoke the Bat.. er X-Phone because she made some holes in crappy houses and schmushed some cars) helicopters and then runs off again. Eventually everyone catches up with everyone, some zip bang slash crash pew pew pew, and the soldiers capture everyone but Alien Jessica Chastain.

About the only interesting segment of the entire movie is the train ride from Deadpool 2. The aliens attack and everyone gets to let loose because, you know aliens. Its a fun battle. But they didn't even do the sacrificial attack that climaxed the comics, they just had her pop like a fireworks display. There is a sub-plot about Charles being not-nice, so at the end of the movie he leaves the school in the hands of Beast and goes to Paris to play chess with Magneto. So, technically it all looked good and had some exciting bits (and Dazzler !!) but *yawn* oh-mi-gawd, it had no idea what it wanted to do with the franchise, just milk some rewards from another known X-Men comic story (if you are over 30) and ... move on? Oh, and Jennifer Lawrence definitely moved on, getting killed early in the movie, so I guess we now have to Google "how can Mystique be dead" to find out how the early version of the franchise even starts.

3 Short Paragraphs: Hellboy

2019, Neil Marshall (The Descent) -- download

OK, while I am not in the "hands off my del Toro" boat across the river Styx, I did present a bit of, "But why?" Does Hellboy need to be rebooted? Does Hellboy even really sit in the all-seeing third eye of pop culture anymore? Was there some Hollywood drama going on that denied GdT the chance to his third while offering it to another director? And if so, why not just do the third? And, what about David Harbour instead of Ron Perlman? What was that about? Now, if I was that movie blogger, I would have trolled all the other movie blog sites and did some research into the backstory behind this movie. Also, if I was that guy I would have actually seen the movie in the cinema. But remember, I am that other guy, the post-movie-fan guy but one who still has a vested interest in who he used to be. And a tenacious desire to not drop everything I hold dear.

So, I watched it. Did I hate it? No, not at all. How can I hate a movie where a snark talking, nigh-invulnerable, gun toting demon warrior fights giants, a grugach and kisses Baba Yaga? Seriously, how the fuck could I hate that? And Milla as the evil Blood Queen, unfortunately more than a little bit of a rip-off of the deathless evil witch from The Last Witch Hunter. And Ian McShane as Broom. So much talent attached to this flick! So then, why was it so bloody hum drum???

First, there was Harbour's Hellboy himself, with his perpetually greasy, stringy hair and petulant teenager mentality. It worked when Perlman added that to the character, but was never really part of the actual Mignola character, so why use it if rebooting? The plot seemed scattered, tossing in the best of the monsters from the comics, and set by themselves, these battles / set-pieces were fantastic, but they didn't really lead us from plot point to plot point. And the ending, which seemed to be from an entirely different movie, in tone and scope, was just ... tired? I think that is what I felt from the entire movie (besides the effects people who did a great job with CGI and props) was a lack of energy and heart.

3 Short Paragraphs: Shazam!

2019, David F. Sandberg (Lights Out) -- download

I knew I would like Captain Mar... ahem, I mean Shazam more than I liked any other DC movie. That's not a stretch though, is it? The reputations of the Superman and Batman led movies soured many to the ... franchise (universe? series?) even if you ignore the relative popularity of Wonder Woman and Aquaman (of which I still need a post for; maybe a re-watch is due). Anywayz, this obviously charming and kid-directed film about a kid who gains super powers from an old wizard is so polar opposite of everything else DC, its not surprising they let someone else do something entirely different from all the others.

So yes, Captain Marvel, has been re-branded as Shazam when DC gave up on re-claiming the name from Marr-Vell, an evil demagogue Kree. But twelve year old me is still screaming, "But his name is NOT Shazam, that's what he yells out to become the superhero!" but in this movie, none of that really matters, as we know him as Captain Sparkle Fingers. I am not sure why my twelve year old self is still so loud on this concept considering that the only comic I remember from then involved Sivana wearing a speaker around his neck that would say something like "wuzzle wuzzle" every time Shazam said SHAZAM, which in four-colour logic meant Billy Batson could not change into his caped alter-ego. Yep, that's pretty much all I remember. That, and the worm.  Hee.

So, they don't really even bother connecting this movie to the Justice Flops but in the most tenuous nipples-up, first season of Super Girl manner. Billy Batson is an orphan who is really pretty much a brat. Shazam, the wizard not the not-named hero, is desperate for someone to take his magical mantle and identifies Billy as the best choice. Not really, but beggars/choosers. Billy is currently living in a group home with the Best Family Ever including a crippled Snark who ends up as Billy's "manager" once he starts transforming into Chuck (Zachary Levi; Thor: The Dark World). The first and third acts of this movie were brilliant, wonderful not-just-origin-story plotting but I found the middle bit a bit strained. You see, Billy is a bit of a dick and he really only wants superpowers to be popular and powerful; and his "manager" doesn't do much other than support him in this endeavour. FB only changes his mind when Billy doesn't pander to his own exploitive requests. But once Billy has to become heroic (third act) he really dives headlong into it, which pulls it all back together again.

Kent says...

One Episode: The Leaks in the TV Plumbing

One Episode is the segment where we edit the opening italicized paragraph, and talk about shows we have watched one episode of (and sometimes more, and sometimes less). This has nothing to do with quality but a desire to see everything that was *cough* leaked.

Lucifer -- Fox
Blindspot -- NBC
Minority Report -- Fox

OK, full disclosure. I am not all that familiar with Lucifer the comic book. It came out right around the time I was having Vertigo comics withdrawal.  The comic was a spinoff of the story from The Sandman where Lucifer Morningstar, The Fallen and King of Hell, left Hell and offered the keys to the kingdom to Morpheus, Lord of Dreams. In the comic Lucifer runs a piano bar, and that was pretty much all I knew about it.

In the TV show, Lucifer runs a swanky, decadent nightclub in LA with his demon sidekick Maze. It doesn't take long for the premise to kick in, when a pop diva he is fond of is gunned down in his company. Lucifer is immortal and unharmed and pitches in to help the investigation. Thus, we get 'she's an LA detective and he's the Ex-King of Hell, and together they fight crime' !! Amusingly enough, that formula is the basis of two of my favourite shows of the last decade -- Castle and Forever.

I loved this pilot, and mainly due to the way Tom Ellis (Merlin, The Fades) plays Lucifer. In character, he is comparable to a GBF (gay best friend; charming, catty and has the best lines) combined with a raving heterosexual cad. Wilde-ean was how Marmy described him. But the best aspect is how he does not hide who he is, from anyone. "You don't get this immortal thing, do you?" he asks Detective Dancer, played by Lauren German (Chicago Fire, Hawaii Five-O) after she witnesses him getting shot, to no effect. To round out the two of them working together, some mysterious force doesn't let his carnal rufie power (kinda creepy, but he is The Devil after all) work on her.

It was fun, and I don't know the comic, so it doesn't affect me whether it was accurate or not.

Meanwhile Blindspot held an immense amount of 'meh' for me.

You've probably seen the trailer -- bag found in Times Square, the Square is cleared with bomb squad approaching, when the bag unzips itself and out steps Sif/Jane Doe (Jaimie Alexander, Thor) naked and covered in tattoos. Some nefarious group/person has covered her in arcane tattoos but wiped her memory entirely. She has procedural memory, just no life memory. As Exposition Character explains, "she knows what music is, but has no idea who The Beatles are." Also, she has the name of a high profile FBI agent prominently displayed on her back.

Jaimie Alexander does a good job of playing the trauma this young woman is going through. Scared, lost and utterly confused. The law enforcement agencies are not treating her nicely, as I guess we now accept their unilateral post-911 powers blindly, but the guy with his name on her back makes a connection. Meanwhile mysterious beardy guy shows up in the background.

The premise kicks in when she reads some Chinese that is written behind her ear. That leads them to a terror plot by a disgruntled Chinese national. She is allowed to tag along, probably because the entirety of the FBI and HLS don't have Chinese translators (*insert sarcastic frowny*) and ends up displaying martial arts superpowers, as well as translating for High Profile FBI Guy. And she has flashbacks to being trained by beardy guy. She saves the day.

That was what I didn't like. They dump the hidden agenda far too quickly. They should have milked the utter mystery for all its worth. But now we know there is a conspiracy, created or controlled by beardy guy, that took a very capable woman (Jane Doe) and turned her into a no-memory crime fighting force. Kind of ruined it for me.

Meh.

Finally, we have Minority Report, which I knew was going to be bad, but luckily its only Canadian SciFi TV bad, not bad bad. As you know, I love the movie, but was not sure how they would lift one of the precogs from their idyllic island house back to Toronto... ahem, Washington DC. The fact the series is so obviously Toronto, despite blankets of CGI everywhere, is kind of distractingly fun.

So Precog Kid is older now and curious about the world. He comes back to the city and has been attempting to stop crime, like the PreCrime Division used to. But he only gets part of the vision and has been failing at his crime fighting ambitions. I believe he says over a hundred people have been murdered because he is lacking. But then he runs into a Perky Young Detective (as you can gather from this whole post, I rarely recall names of new show characters) and helps her solve a crime; kind of.

Surprisingly there is a lot more depth here than in either of the two other shows. Perky Young Detective lives with her mom and baby brother. She also has the usual department tension with Wilmer Valderrama and Precog Kid will definitely give her a step up on crime fighting. And Precog Kid's twin brother is out there, trying to make contact. And something is going on with all the released criminals, that were put on the street when the Precime Division shut down. There is a lot of the world the writers want to play with, I am just not sure if their writing chops are up to it. Or maybe it was the director.  Not sure.

I will watch it when it starts and see where it goes.

But one thing I am loving is the CG. You know I loved the CG from the movie, and they are having even more fun expanding on the world it built.  This world is less dark, more on the colour of the screens everywhere and the social media gone wild, that the Tom Cruise movie wouldn't have predicted. If one thing about the world bothered me, is that they kept on dragging out visual cues from the movie. We did not need to see a fight on fire escapes, nor did we need to see his face gone melty. And the replacement of the jet packs with stupid cable driven backpacks was plain ludicrous. Just run with the fun stuff, and abandon all the other props please.

Nerdfall: Gotham, The Flash, Constantine, Star Wars: Rebels

Gotham, Mondays @ 8 on Fox/CTV
The Flash, Tuesdays @ 8 on CW/CTV
Constantine: Fridays @ 10 on NBC/Global
Star Wars: Rebels: Sundays @ 8 on Disney XD
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Nerds may not be ruling the world (the world still belongs to the rich), but we're certainly dominating pop culture as of late.  Cinema and Television are both under the sway of what has traditionally been considered "geekstuffs", like sci-fi, fantasy, superheroes, horror and anachronistic period pieces.  They may not be the most popular shows, but they certainly cater to more than just a niche audience at this point.  I don't want to complain about this, as this is what I've dreamed of for a very long time, but at the same time, it's completely overwhelming the abundance of it.  I've gotten over the hump of feeling obliged to watch it all.  I've long since abandoned The Walking Dead, I have an on-again/off-again relationship with Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and light fantasy like Grimm, Supernatural, Sleepy Hollow,and Once Upon A Time (among others) I don't feel compelled to watch, nor do I feel guilty not watching since I know they have found their audiences that are pefectly happy with them.

Perhaps it's a safe bet taking up with primarily known quantities like Flash and Star Wars: Rebels, and it could be limiting my exposure to other, potentially enriching programming because of my lack of available time, but I'm not to concerned.  I will support outright the shows I like, and pick up upon buzzed about or intriguing-in-hindsight shows later on when the interweb sites I trust start convincing me to invest my time.

But that's what the fall is all about, as a TV watcher isn't it?  "What's worth your time?"  The harsh thing is pilot episodes are so rarely indicative of what the series will wind up being.  They're just a hook, but it almost always takes a few episodes, if not the bulk of a season for a show to find its true legs and the actors to find their characters.  One of my current favourite shows, Person of Interest,I skipped over a half dozen episodes in the middle of its first season because it wasn't going anywhere, at least that's what I thought.  Same with Fringe, where I watched only an episode or two of the first season before coming to the opinion it was another X-Files rip-off, only to step in partway through the second season to find it dealing with parallel dimensions and hooking me right in.  Revisiting Fringe's first season revealed a planned roadmap for the rest of the series.

This year's TV crop sees an unprecedented number of comic book-base programming coming to TV. Even after the success of Arrow and Marvel's AoS, it was surprising.  Arrow still feels like a cult hit, but with a stellar second season that abandoned most of the usual hoary CW romantic drama tropes, it was already seeded as a launching pad for the Flash, introducing Grant Gustin's Barry Allen midway through the season with the intention of turning a later episode of Arrow into a backdoor pilot for a Flash TV show (executives were so confident, however they just went to full pilot instead).  But the CW, despite providing some really solid entertainment over the years, still isn't the same as the major networks, so Gotham winding up on Fox and Constantine arriving on NBC are still rather surprising.
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Gotham was first out the gate, and of the three DC Comics related shows, easily the one I was least excited about.  The advertising hit hard the "l'il Batman" and "l'il rogues" angle of the show, something I was thoroughly disinterested in.  I don't need to see Catwoman or Riddler or Poison Ivy or any other bat-villain before they are a bat-villain, nor do I really need to watch in painfully slow detail a 12-year-old Bruce Wayne already exhibit defining signs of Batman.

The show does actually center on the corruption-laden Gotham City Police Department and the crime families which run the city, and through them it does manage to build something unique, but unique here doesn't exactly equal good.  Ben McKenzie plays Detective Jim Gordon, the new transfer to the PD who prides himself on being clean as a whistle by-the-book.  His partner, Harvey Bullock (Donal Logue) is halfway to hell already and none-to-pleased that his partner isn't willing to play ball with the bad guys.  The crime families are two fold, the Falcones and the Maronis, currently at a stalemate in their turf war, but the flames are getting reignited as Boss Mooney (Jada Pinkett Smith) wants to climb over Falcone, and her underling, Oswald "Penguin" Cobblepot (Robin Lord Taylor) wants to climb over everyone.

The show has it's intriguing points, particularly the colorful underworld, with Pinkett Smith chewing up scenery with an Ertha Kitt joi de vivre, and Lord Taylor masterfully navigating his unevenly written part...plus it's always fun to see Dexter's David Zayas, and he seems to be having tremendous fun with Boss Maroni.  Where the show falters is in its presentation of Gordon and the Gotham City PD. Logue can do no wrong but McKenzie is so self-serious, clenching his jaw thorugh every scene that he comes off as posturing and cliche, less as a future leader.  There's internal affairs drama, and the most useless of characters in Gordon's girlfriend Barbara Kean (made even worse with Erin Richard's soulless performance) but it all feels stuffed in and unnecessary.  More effective is that each episode throws the GCPD into some weirdo murder plot that underlies the strange nature of Gotham City crime, and its oddball criminals.  It's actually one of its better touches.

Just as unnecessary is the "young Batman" storyline.  Having an ever-present young Bruce Wayne denies the show its ability to escape beyond the shadow of the bat.  I can understand why they tread so heavily to start, introducing so many young bat-villains but when you realize that Wayne is at least a decade away from putting on a cape and cowl it seems excessive and forced.  Not to mention it hinders the showrunners in developing characters like the Riddler and Catwoman at earlier stages knowing where they must wind up.  Edward Nygma, particularly, is a purposefully annoying character who does little else but exposit and annoy.

Six episodes have aired so far and I've caught at least 30 minutes of most of them.  It's not an altogether unwatchable show, but it hasn't yet justified its existence.  I like it's late-'90's setting, perhaps the show's best and subtlest touch.
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As essentially a spin-off of Arrow, I knew The Flash was in good hands.  As I said we'd already met the lead character in season 2 of Arrow and Grant Gustin was absolutely charming...likeable, smart, nerdy, awkward, excitable.  Barry Allen from the comics of yore was kind of stuffy and a bit of a bore, but his sidekick, Wally West, was much more personable and energetic (as viewers of the Justice League Unlimited cartoon could attest), and Gustin sort of merges the two into the perfect TV Flash.  He even starts off each show with a voice over monologue as he races through the streets on patrol or on a mission, something that happened with each issue of Wally West's tenure as The Flash.  It's a delightful touch.

It was predetermined that I would like this show.  I flat out love the 1990 The Flash TV show (even still) and it took pains to try to separate itself from being a "comic book show".  It was direly serious at times, a result of Tim Burton's Batman's negative influence, but just to have a b-level character like the Flash on TV was a treat in itself and I liked the cast.  This iteration of the character, which featured comic book and former Flash writer Geoff Johns as producer and writer, promised to keep more in line with the comic book representation of the character and not shy away from it's more colourful aspects.  And it has succeeded to an utterly charming degree.

While many a comic book show in the past has teased their comic book origins through background easter eggs or tongue-in-cheek dialogue referencing something, The Flash does these things as seeds for the future. It's the first comic-book derived TV show that isn't embarassed by its roots, instead embracing the character and his world whole hog.

The pilot episode introduced the world of the Flash well enough, providing an origin story for his superpowers,  costume, and raison d'etre, as well as his super-powered villain.  The same accident that gave Barry his superpowers have also granted other people theirs, and he's taken it upon himself (and his support team of STAR Lab technicians) to police them.  Along with this general premise, there's the ongoing background thread of Barry's mother's murder from his childhood (by a man inside the lightning) and his father (played by 1990's Flash and Dawson's Creek dad, John Wesley Shipp) taking the fall for it.  Beyond that is Tom Cavanaugh (of the awesome "Mike and Tom Eat Snacks" podcast, among his many television an film credits) as Dr. Harrison Wells, who a) caused the accident that gave him his powers and b) somehow has access to news from 10 years in the future reporting the Flash's death.  Wells seems to be out to protect Barry, but we aren't altogether sure what his motivations.

Less interesting is Barry's crush on Iris Allen (Candice Patton), the daughter of Police Detective Joe Allen (the great Jesse L. Martin from Law and Order).  Barry lived next to Iris as a kid until his mom died and dad went to jail at which point Joe wound up raising him.  So Barry's crush is all kinds of weird considering that Iris is essentially his foster-sister.  On top of that, episode 4 of this season brings Felicity (from Arrow) to Central City and the chemistry between Barry and Felicity (even more than it was in Arrow Season 2) is note perfect.  These two characters are perfect for each other and the only reason the producers don't thrust them together is because Barry and Iris are a couple in the comics.  It seems ironic to say this, but at some point they need to understand that these shows can live their own life an not have to adhere to what their source material.  When you can run 200 miles per second, having a long-distance relationship isn't much of a challenge (but I guess sharing a character between two shows is).

If the first episode of The Flash didn't wow me as I'd hoped, it was because the visualization of the character's powers wasn't really what I was hoping for (see X-Men: Days of Future Past for the perfect super-speedster action sequence), but by the shows 4th episode, they seem to be getting a much better handle on how it can work and be exciting and fresh.  Plus the 4th episode introduces Wentworth Miller (Prison Break) as Captain Cold and he nails the character with absolute delight.  This set up the first real key player in Flash's Rogues Gallery (and the end of the episode teases Heat Wave, who I've learned is played by Miller's Prison Break brother, Dominic Purcell ,..this show knows how to have fun).  It is quite literally the most comic-book-feeling TV show we've ever had, and I love it.  I can't say it's the greatest show ever made, and that it's in any way flawless, but damn if it isn't tremendous amounts of fun.
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John Constantine was created about 30 years ago for DC Comics and has had his own series for almost that entire time (first Hellblazer, and more recently, Constantine).  If he's widely known it's primarily from the 2005 supernatural thriller feature film wherein the character -- whose four main traits are being blond, British, a chain smoker and being quite an asshole -- was turned into Keanu Reeves.  It was a decent film, despite the miscasting, but it would have be exception were it, say, Guy Pierce (I know, he's Australian) or Daniel Craig or  Jason Statham, or, well, anyone who could fake an accent and look the part.

The new Constantine TV show has cast an actor that indeed looks the part with relative unknown Matt Ryan donning the tan trenchcoat, unkempt red tie, and rocking the scruffy blond hair and stubble.  Ryan's not a natural blond though, and because of the general attitude towards smoking in America, he doesn't smoke on screen, but his cigarettes and lighter are quite present.  He's also a bit of a prat, knowingly keeping people at a distance, and rousing others to punch him.  In the case of the former, he's seen far too many of his associates die because of him, and the latter, probably accepting it as some form of penance... if you want to read into these things.  Even though, I'm not well versed on Constantine, in my opinion showrunners Daniel Cerone and David S. Goyer have nailed the character quite well.

The pilot was an exceptionally well directed mini-movie that looked utterly expensive and fantastic.  It got mired in a lot of nonsensical magic mumbo-jumbo a few times, but overall was an enjoyable experience, with at least one hella creepy moment (when that dead body that had crashed through the SUV's windshield, neck at 150 degree angle, comes back to life and starts squelching...so nasty). The second episode really gathers the tone for the series to follow.  Constantine has a map of America with blood drops showing where evil may erupt.  Whenever a droplet turns wet, John must jump into action.  There's an X-Files meets Buffy the Vampire Slayer vibe, which in every sense is a positive thing.  It allows there to be these weird of-the-week mysteries that are entertaining on their own, while seeding in a larger seed of evil that will span the season.

Constantine has a supporting cast -- Chas Kramer (Charles Halford) who can't seem to be killed, Zed (Angelica Celaya) who has second sight abilities, and Manny (Harold Perrineau) an angel warning Constantine of dire things to come -- but one gets the sense they're incidental and disposable, which is not a bad thing.  Creating a varied roster of associates, as well as having the ability to kill of cast members almost expectedly (but in unexpected ways) gives Constantine a bit of a Doctor Who-gone-horror vibe, which we know can work.

I like the show.  It's fun and easy to get into, with the potential for some really interesting things to happen (being Fridays at 10pm, and given what NBC has permitted Hannibal to show on network TV, they could really amp up the gruesome and terror factor on the show).  The potential for DC Comics guest stars is high, but almost  unnecessary given the show's template.  Even after two episodes I've lost my craving for easter eggs (like Dr. Fate's helmet in the pilot).  All we really need is for enough people to buy into an asshole-as-hero to make it last.
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And finally this Nerdfall, we have Star Wars: Rebels.  This takes place about 15 years after Revenge of the Sith, and is set to showcase the rise of the rebellion against the galactic empire.  They kicked off the series with a 1-hour (well, 40-something minutes) mini-movie introducing the cast, and bringing street-rat Ezra into the Rebel fold.  It was a choppy, oversimplified story, with obvious set-ups for future plot lines, and it has so many faltering points it could be easily dismissed.

But then, I thought the same of Star Wars: The Clone Wars, and it's taken me 7 years to discover that it actually turned into a great show worth watching.  Rebels has a few saving graces.  To start, the characters are actually quite likeable.  They may not be given the right things to do episode to episode, but they're nonetheless charismatic in a way the prequels never quit got.  Secondly, the show is starting to transition from the designs of Episode 3 into the designs of Episode 4 (aka Star Wars), and easter egg in visual teases of things that we know are coming up.  This could get too cutesy if it persists too long, but as an early hook it helps.  Thirdly, the show utilizes a lot of Ralph McQuarrie's early production designs for the original film.  The old stormtrooper helmets, some of the wardrobes, Zeb (one of the last surviving Lasat, and the original template for Chewbacca...the show makes a crack about this when they go on a Wookee rescue mission).  It`s a fun touch for the die hards.

It's far from hitting its stride already, and in advance we know there are limits to what the show can actually accomplish in the scope of the Rebellion vs the Empire, but if Clone Wars can make a half-dozen mostly compelling seasons out of a conflict with a predetermined outcome there's no reason that Rebels can't work either.  It`s unfortunate that they had to trot out Artoo and Threepeeoh in the second episode already, but it does catch us up on Bail Organa (not Jimmy Smits`voice, sadly) and his part in the Rebellion.

Two of the characters, Ezra and scruffy-looking pilot Kanan, have force powers, which is kind of mind blowing.  After consuming the original trilogy so many times as a child and being so immersed in that world, the thought that there might`ve still been other Jedi still alive around the galaxy never even entered my mind.  Kanan survived the Order 66, and he senses the talent in Ezra (Ezra, meanwhile, discovers Kanan`s lightsaber and holocron), so it will be interesting to see how they explore Jedi-like things a decade and a half after the Jedi should be extinct.

I also quite like Tiya off the bat, the Mandalorian, and look forward to learning more about her.  Chopper is a ramshackle astromech droid who looks like he will fall apart if you sneeze on him too hard.  He`s full of even more personality than Artoo, which seems like a stretch.  He also seems too much like BOB from Disney`s The Black Hole, so while I am amused by him, I don`t like him on principal.  But I guess it makes sense that if Artoo can develop a personality then why not any other droids.

The animation on Rebels is at once an improvement and a step back from Clone Wars.  Gone are the wooden beards and hair, but also gone seems to be a lot of the refined detail that the Clone Wars had.  Rebels seems to be on a bit more of a budget.

Somewhere in the past year I've turned the corner on Star Wars apathy and have come back around to "fan" again.

One Episode: Gotham, Scorpion, Forever

Ooooo Gotham (Fox, Donal Logue, Ben McKenzie), ooooo all the villains in younger forms, ooo its young Bruce Wayne. That's it, that is why I didn't give a hoot about this show -- why would I want to watch a Batman show without even the possibility of a Batman? Sure, Gotham is a character unto itself, the deeper, darker version of Manhattan with all those elevated trains and a corrupt police force & government. But even the promotional campaign annoyed me, as they dropped hints about incidental characters who we know would grow up to be big players, such as Selina Kyle the street kid or Ivy, the daughter of a thug who hides behind her potted plants. And all that, "Which one is the Joker? Is it the standup comedian??" So, I was not looking forward to this show.

But surprisingly, I was not all that bothered by the first episode. This is tooled for the fans of Arrow, with a sort of drama light. Gotham is gritty and dirty, but not so much so that its always night. And honestly, anything with Donal Logue is going to have me watch at least occasionally. But really, it was Ben McKenzie sporting a confounding tough-guy accent (did I catch hints of growly Christian Bale?) and the clear values of Jim Gordon that made me enjoy it. There is no way he can clean up the entire city or even the GCPD in the first season, but I was happy to be convinced he will try. But with a level head on his shoulders, not all gung ho, "You guys are all corrupt, I am gonna take you down !!"

I will probably watch a few episodes until I get bored or more annoyed by the references.

Meanwhile we have mostly no names in Scorpion (CBS, Elyes Gabel, Katharine McPhee, Robert Patrick). Billed as a non-comedic version of The Big Bang Theory (because we always have to provide common ground) with overly intelligent, socially inept people who are gathered together to save the world each week, this was not as terrible as I expected it to be.

Oh, it was pretty bad. We have a white male math genius, a white male psychology genius, a white male (but Irish, ooo the ethnicity !) genius genius (one of the 5 smartest people in the world) and a wh...er, Asian female technology genius.  Token smart girl has to be Asian. So, one understands numbers, one people, one machines and the last is smart enough to know everything. Together they are smarter than all of us (I mean all of us) but they cannot pay their bills or keep relationships because they are emotionally crippled. Like a room full of Sheldons.

Except, they are not. Main character Walter O'Brien is well dressed, obviously works out, has friends and at every turn is cracking smiles, connecting with people and understanding the emotional impact of what he is doing. But they add the occasional interpersonal flub to remind us. And the math genius can talk to pretty girls; now THAT was the most unrealistic bit.

They are gathered by blacksuit Robert Patrick (Homeland Security, NSA, something like that does not matter) to save a bunch of planes that cannot land because of a virus in the LAX air traffic system. No one can get hold of the planes and they would rather them be blown out of the sky than attempt dangerous landings.  ??!?!

But all together, this silliness was kind of fun. The tech talk is your typical mix of technical bullshit with a dose of truth so it sound real. Their solutions are way over the top (such as connecting a network cable from a low flying plane to a speeding car) and the interactions are fun. I could actually enjoy this, as long it doesn't ever try to take itself too seriously.

P.S. The show is also stylishly titled as </scorpion>. Uh, closing a tag to connect something to tech is soooo 10 years ago. And its not even proper syntax. <scorpion /> would have been more appropriate.

Speaking of common ground, I can hear the elevator pitch for Forever (ABC, Ioan Gruffudd, Alana de la Garza, Judd Hirsch). Its Castle meets Bones meets Elementary meets New Amsterdam. That's alot of meeting. So, we have the cop & non-cop partnership, charming and well dressed. We have Dr. Henry Morgan as a coroner / medical examiner, who also happens to have a Sherlock style of noticing details about people & situations. And finally, most importantly, he is immortal. If he dies, he instantly appears nearby, naked, in a body of water.

Now, given it has the directing and writing style of Castle, I am built to find it appealing. Surprisingly, Gruffudd who has annoyed me in movies past, is becoming rather charming as he grows older. And the relationship between him and Judd Hirsch just seals that for me. You see, Hirsch is effectively his son, adopted in the 40s and the two have been together since. Abe has aged but Henry is still late 30s. But the two display such a bond, inter-changing father and son, as the situation plays.

The story of how he became immortal is somewhat explained, but with enough mystery to play out for a few seasons. Also, Henry has a "fan", possibly another immortal who is taunting him. As long as they don't end up with tons of mythology, which overshadows the buddy cop show, it could last awhile.

Of the three, I think Scorpion will die the quickest. Despite being on Fox, Gotham will have the most support and it will be up to Forever to find an audience to stick around.

Rewatch & Reread: Wanted

2008, Timur Bekmambetov (Nightwatch) -- Netflix
2003, Mark Millar / JG Jones -- download

Wanted the movie showed up on Netflix and I took the opportunity to rewatch it during one of my less than attentive but free periods, making and eating supper. And after that, I had to reread the comic series, which I had remembered enjoying immensely.  I am not sure what has changed in my brain, but, I guess I am not as much a misanthrope as I used to be.

The comic Wanted is by Mark Millar, known for his over the top, ultra-violent stories such as Kick-Ass and Nemesis. With DC he was touted for his work on Superman: Red Son and with Marvel, he had done the The Ultimates. He has also garnered some controversy lately, but I rolled my eyes and assumed it was part of the Outrage Machine.

And then I re-read Wanted.

In a world of super powers, the son of a slain super villain assassin is recruited into The Fraternity. In the 1980s of their world, the super villains banded together to kill all the superheroes and then alter reality so they were remembered only as comic books. The Fraternity now controls the world and raids alternate realities for fun and profit. They are untouchable.

Wesley works a dead end job, his girlfriend cheats on him with his best friend and he has a myriad of anxiety disorders. But when he learns of his origins, who his father is, and that he has super level abilities with weapons and such, he joins the Fraternity with little thought. Oh, there is some initial hesitance about becoming a completely amoral killer, but then he then jumps in with both feet, murdering & raping to his heart's content. Yes, a very extreme end of the Anti-Hero, the misanthropic Mary Sue for all those despondent souls who cannot escape their lives.

I will not address the ultra violence. Violence is, and will probably always be, a part of our pop culture fictions. But the constant use of homophobic slurs, racial slurs and references to rape just got to me.  Sure, these are evil people doing as evil people do, but they are the protagonists in this story. Yes, Wesley is a misanthrope even without being weighed down by the oppression of his life. But he is also the underlying hero in the story, the beaten down worker drone that many many will identify with. Yet he is already racist, sexist and blames the world for his own woes. I find it dangerous to elevate this kind of character, when the Internet these days is rife with basement dwellers finding their hate filled voices, if only threatening violence and vitriol. Wesley is not depicted as a batshit crazy spree shooter who wipes out his school or office; he is seen as an average guy who just finds the power to have his revenge.

It bothers me. There is something very wrong between the lines.

I can now see why the movie tempered the story so much, which bothered me the first time I saw it. Sure, Wesley is still the downtrodden office worker bee, beset by anxiety and oppression. His girlfriend is still fucking his best friend. His boss is still hating on him. And he is still the son of super assassin. But in this world, they are not super villains, just a Fraternity of Assassins who learn of their victims from the Loom of Fate. In the threads of the world, there are people who just have to be killed, to keep the balance, to keep the rest of us in a somewhat safer world.

Wesley is pulled from this by Angelina Jolie, the Fox, in flashy, stylish slow-mo gun fights in public places. This is Angelina as she was just easing into the current stick-figure stage of her physique. I thought my distaste for it would have softened by now, but no, still too skinny. She never quite seduces Wesley but his ability to shoot the wings off a fly, get up the courage to yell at his boss and bash his best friend (Chris Pratt!) in the face with an ergonomic keyboard is seduction enough. He is tasked with the finding & killing of whomever shot his father.

I was disappointed the first time I saw the movie, being rather bored at how toned down it was. I like Bekmambetov's style, the way he shoots a shoot. He handles the curving of the bullets around corners very well, the shooting of a stylized bullet from miles away and the building of a ensemble cast of assassins of different skills & personalities. But everything is so shallow. The assassins are barely there, just names and death scenes. Its all about Wesley and Fox, their prey and the leader, the ever cool talking Morgan Freeman.

Even now, just days after seeing it, it is all fading away. This is Cool Lite, all the rough edges worn off an idea so it is palatable for a general American audience and a director's style toned down so we don't get overwhelmed. Again, we have Sunday afternoon watching fare, good for coming out of the kitchen for the best scenes and not missing what you miss when you walk back in. I guess I am still disappointed.

We Agree: Captain America: The Winter Soldier

2014, Joe/Anthony Russo (TV including Community, Happy Endings & Arrested Development) -- cinema

It is only appropriate I follow Graig's up with mine.

We (we western first worlders) live in an age where EVERYTHING is on display. Before movies are released, we get boat loads of trailers and clips and blog articles written by fans, speculators and people paid to say what they say. We get crappy cams for those who have left cinemas behind. We get review blogs & tweets and FB status updates telling us about the movie seconds after it has hit the cinema. We have access to source material and scripts and rumors and hints and misdirection. It is hard to avoid knowing all there is to know about a movie, before we even see it.

So, it was hard not to know what this movie was going to be about, the title saying it all, the trailers filling it in for those who have not read the comics. I knew the comic storyline, probably having grilled Kent about it before I downloaded the entire extended series. The gritty story swaps rah-rah superheroics for almost-noir gritty espionage drama. Cap, often lost in memories of the 40s, remembers how he lost Bucky.  Well, at least his Bucky. Part of the detailed story reminds us of how many Captain Americas, how many Buckys there were. But it always draws back to one Cap, one Bucky and their separation near the end of the war, with the death of James Buchanan Barnes. Even after the thawing, this is haunting Cap. And then, suddenly and terribly, Bucky is back. And Cap is obsessed with finding out who and how.

Even with all the trappings of super villains and S.H.I.E.L.D. this is an action-spy story.  Its a convoluted story, as all wide reaching comic arcs are, of Hydra and the Red Skull and a Russian General who was part of a program that used the differently frozen Bucky Barnes as a twisted assassin. Only one arc of the story is about Cap finding this out, and dealing with, as it extends into the Civil War series (the US demands superheroes become registered, most rebel, branded villains) and the death of Captain America. Much of the central story is how the two tortured friends deal with what drew them together again, their loyalty to each other.

So, it was kind of amusing that I could be exposed to all the Internet can give me, not shying away from spoilers, and yet not get that this was not really a fully, wholly Winter Soldier story. Bucky is only one element of this incredible plotline that shakes up the world building they seem to have just got around to establishing in the movies --- that S.H.I.E.L.D. is a new centre of protection for the world.  Hell, how many movies did they spend time inserting scenes of Ultimates Nick Fury and establishing that these solo movies would become The Avengers? And once you bring in the long slow burn of the TV series, you get, well, you get WOW. The Winter Soldier himself was just one piece, albeit a finely crafted cog in this machine. And I didn't catch it.  Yay me. Or boo me?

The action is outstanding. Even with our viewing suffering the dull, dimmed screen of not-3D, the precision of this movie stood out. The establishing battle scenes for Cap are exquisite. Slam, pow, clunk, bang full of weight and force that had me cringing for those poor sods with no super soldier skin or even body armor. Never pays to be a mook. Captain America leaves much of the bigger explosions for the other Marvel franchises, as this is a hands-on character. Sure, we crash some heli-carriers, but that is the climax of the movie.  Most of this movie is a punch-up, shield throwing & gun fight.

The story is an interesting flip of the tables from previous movies where they established that the world needed a team of super powered beings independent of other nations' armed forces. Considering they saved the world from an alien invasion, they seem to have free reign and Fury is running with it, building kill-you-from-the-sky laser guns that when combined with a Person of Interest establish-who-the-Bad-Guys-are AI makes even Cap queasy.

He really does represent the true ideal of American values, those that are what the world want the US to aspire to, instead of the reality we live with. His boyscout ideals even melt the hardened heart of Black Widow, who I was rather underwhelmed by in this movie... literally not finding Scarlett J attractive at all with that unflattering hair cut. And by heart melting, I don't mean swooning, I mean she realizes this is a man to be friends with, to be loyal to. And once she has earned it, she really sees the value. He also has the support of a good, loyal soldier in Sam Wilson and his Falcon flight armor. The interactions between the two unadulterated Good Guy conversations and I really took to this character, having always been rather meh about his comic books persona. He and Cap agree on how soldiers should support their country and get along rather well.

The movie rounds out by the surprise reveal that I was already expecting because I watched the TV series before the movie -- hail Hydra. S.H.I.E.L.D. was not only infiltrated from the inside but could be said to have had a Hydra agenda all along. This leaves long running ramifications on the playing field, which will definitely affect every movie after. The Avengers will have to act independently of their origins and will probably suffer the suspicions of the world forever. There are still some good agents out there, but what do they represent? Who do they work for? Who can they trust?  Next movie now, please !!