Showing posts with label remake. Show all posts
Showing posts with label remake. Show all posts

Friday, October 2, 2026

31 Days of Halloween: Handsome Guys

2024, Nam Dong-hyup (feature premiere) -- download

Or Haenseomgaijeu.

This Korean movie is billed as a remake of Tucker & Dale vs. Evil, which we are huge fans of -- my post does not give it justice, and I think its time for a rewatch and a new post. In the original movie, the "evil" turns out not to be some supernatural entity in the "cabin in the woods" but more along the psycho lines that the college kids assume should be attributed to Tucker and Dale, but ends up being One of Their Own. This remake decided to embrace the classic cabin aspect of the movie and ... well, I will get to that.

Kang Jae-pil (Lee Sung-min, The Moon) and Park Sang-goo (Lee Hee-joon, Badland Hunters; weird; I wouldn't paste "full names" if they were English names, but I somehow seem compelled to do it here) are not hillbillies, in the traditional sense... is there even an equivalent to Alabama or Tennessee in South Korea? Would I even recognize the cultural tropes, if there were? Either way, the guys are definitely weirdoes -- odd haircuts, weird style and socially awkward to the extreme, without even noticing it. Especially to the group of influencer kids they meet at the rest stop / convenience store -- wow, South Korean rural roadside convenience stories are pretty much small department stores. The influencers are on their way to a majestic lakeside "cabin", a trope influencers have spread world wide, while the two friends, carpenters by trade, are on their way to a weird house, entirely not traditional Korean-style, that Jae-pil sunk their savings into. The kids are there to pickup snacks and booze, while the boys are picking up reno gear, all sharp objects that could be used to kill people. When one of the girls is startled by Sang-goo, and she is further frightened when he tries to help her up, the tone of conflict is set between the two groups.

It should be noted that the movie has a Satanic exorcism preamble where an American priest fails to exorcise Baphomet from a young woman, and we see a pentagram carved into a stone in the basement of an old .... cabin in the woods. Not like I need to fill in blanks for you, but it does show a distinct departure from the original movie, in that their will be real supernatural Evil here.

I commented that should "Tucker & Dale" ever be remade, the kids would definitely be "influencers" and we would take even greater glee in watching them jump into a woodchipper. Why is it we so dislike influencer kids? Its almost like they have influenced us into thinking that.

So, the boys get to their house, and begin cleaning it up, while the influencer kids do what they do best, snipe at each other and pick favourites. Oh, I forgot to mention, on the drive up earlier, the kids hit a goat in the middle of the road, and just leave it there. When the boys come by soon after, they are found by a pair of buffoonish cops, carrying the tarped dead creature out of the road. The lead buffoon assumes they are doing some illegal, in fact, he needs them to be doing something illegal, as two so completely ugly, clownish dudes cannot not be doing something illegal. But they aren't so they have to be let go. Goats, Satan worship, you get it.

Now where was I ? Oh yes, both groups at their houses doing what they do, which ends up with Mi-na (Gong Seung-yeon, Aloners), the girl who got frightened by Sang-goo, the "nice girl" who is ostracized by the rest, down by the lake while the boys are fishing and, again, they startled her and she falls in. Let's just say the lake has a drop and she sinks like a stone, requiring Jae-pil to dive in to save her. She also requires some resuscitation, and the next morning she awakens in their somewhat-cleaned-up house, initially scared at what these weirdos are doing with her in their house, but quickly charmed by Sang-goo's harmless friendly behaviour and the massive breakfast spread laid out. The two end up getting along swimmingly while Jae-pil goes out to do yard cleaning (wood chipper, chain saw, etc.). The kids have noticed she is missing and wander around looking for her, coming across the boys cabin. They are immediately convinced the boys have kidnapped her, but one of the kids, the Mean One, really only cares that Mi-na has his phone. And he's an influencer that cannot be without his phone.

What follows is a tragic black-comedy of errors. Its not presented as well as the original movie, but basically each of the kids are compelled to attack the Jae-pil, starting with just after he (chain)saws into a log full of wasps, those big nasty Asian wasps. The kids run screaming as he runs screaming from  the wasps, waving his chainsaw around like the mad man they all assume he is. One of the girls is impaled. The horrified boys attack, but a mislaid power cord electrocutes one, and trips the other, who falls into the planter box, which looks like a coffin Sang-goo "made" Min-na build (for herself) -- said planter box has lots of exposed nails. Ouch. And then the final kid jumps at Jae-pil, who has made it back to his wood pile, chipper munching on the rotting wood he has cleaned up, and the kid misses Jae-pil and .... grrrinnnnnnnd .... tomato paste.

All of the kids have very quickly died due to their own ineptitude and misunderstandings. And, well that pentagram in the basement under the boys cabin is suddenly lighting up with fiery symbols  -- one symbol for each dead kid. Except, the count is off and ... ohhh, electrocuted kid is not dead. And his awakening, as well as the return of the kid I forgot to mention has an unfortunate run in with the not-dead goat (I admit, I nodded off during that brief sequence) leads to the final act that is ... well, if this movie is a remake of "Tucker & Dale", then the final act is a very blatant nod to the original orginal Evil Dead complete with cackling possessed people in basements. And drawing on some pretty common tropes from Asian horror that I have commented on before (religion, destiny, legacy, family), the just-woke-up-from-a-coma younger brother of the original possessed women from the preamble has to fight off the proper now-raised Baphomet devil kid. Oh, and the buffoonish cops get mixed up in it as well.

It was actually a pretty decent remake of the original, capturing enough to make us smile, and being new and culturally appropriate to probably appeal to an entirely different audience. It doesn't have the bite of the original, and that is mainly because it does draw upon horror tropes as being actual horror, instead of all just a "ooops, we misunderstood" comedy of errors.

Monday, August 31, 2026

KWIF(2): The Running Man (+3)

KWIF=Kent's "Week" in Film. I realized this past weekend that I had watched almost a film a day this August, so the goal has become to cram the last bunch of films in on the final couple of days. These are numbers 24 through 28.

This Week:
The Running Man (2025, d. Edgar Wright - crave)
Zodiac Killer Project (2024, d. Charlie Shackleton - hollywoodsuite)
City Hunter (1993, d. Wong Jing - tubi)
Five Dolls for an August Moon (1970, d. Mario Bava - tubi)

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The Running Man falls into my beloved "most dangerous game" subgenre. The man-hunts-man-for-sport (and/or entertainment) never gets tired for me, although its entries are frequently not very well done. The Running Man, like The Hunger Games or Battle Royale, is kind of a brand in the subgenre, or at least notorious enough to be a name big enough to check-point (as in "Oh, it's like The Running Man").

While I've read the Stephen King-as-Richard Bachman novella three and a half decades ago, I don't recall it very specifically, and likewise it's been quite some time since I watched the 1987 Arnold Schwartzenegger-starring adaptation. From memory, that film was definitely a product of Reagan-era economics, and was concerned about wealth disparity and social order, to a degree. It was concerned with crime, totalitarianism, and classism. 

We're now in an age where the wealth gaps are far more dramatically pronounced and we have government institutions that seem to only be serving to perpetuate that trend. We've given too much power to corporations, non-corporeal entities that have their own rights but seemingly no responsibilities. The people in charge of corporations seem to have free reign to influence government policy, and are not held liable for their actions and decisions made while running such organizations. Lands and waters are polluted and poised, people get sick or are killed, minds are manipulated and tainted by increasingly clever propaganda, and a token sum is only ever paid when they corporations are caught...and the execs still get paid.

Edgar Wright's new adaptation of The Running Man finds its protagonist, the angry and righteous Ben Richards (Glen Powell), blacklisted from the Network, which, in this dystopian future, pretty much controls all of America. They are the primary source of employment and entertainment in the country, and though they are not the government, their sheer economic power means they pretty much dictate policy. With a sick daughter at home and no income, Ben turns to his last-ditch option: Reality TV. Looking to get on any of the Network's many programmes except the brutal, life-threatening "The Running Man" program (the Network's most popular show), he, of course, is chosen for "The Running Man" because otherwise there wouldn't be a movie.

He's sweet-talked by the Network's head honcho into signing the deal to join the show. Surviving 30 days wins Ben and his family a cool 1 billion New Dollars, while he also receives a daily survival bonus, plus a bonus for killing any of the Network's security goons or the show's elite "hunters".  But from the jump, Ben sees that the Network doesn't play fair. They introduce him (and two other runners) with lies about being career criminals, disparaging their name, and denigrating their families, going so far as to have doctored clips (the use of deep fakes is central to this movie but it doesn't ever reckon with the general public's awareness of them).

Needless to say, Ben survives with the help of some activists and supporters, but it's never easy, and (once again) the Network cheats, tracking his location (duh) and manipulating the narrative of the show by coaching the hunters when, and when not to go in for the kill. The audience is also invited to participate, with the Network offering a hundreds/thousands of New Dollars for anyone who rats out a Runner and leads to a kill. It takes the audience out of being passive observers with, maybe, some moral responsibility for the perpetuation of this barbaric program, and turns them in to active participants in murder. And, of course, it's all propaganda, fuelling The Network's ideology of keeping the teeming masses stupid and hungry, and distracting them from the real cause of the problems in their lives.  It's up to Ben, who's really just doing this all for his family, to realize he's the catalyst for waking people up as to who the real enemy is.

The opening scenes of The Running Man are, to be blunt, really clumsy in how they set Ben Richards up. These scenes are meant to establish Ben as a rage-filled man, a man who fights injustice, and a man who desperately loves his family, but the writing and performances lack nuance, to the point that I was concerned that Powell was decisively the wrong guy for this part. He turns out to be fine, in the end, but Edgar Wright's script pushes and/or pulls Ben through the plot, without him doing much to instigate things on his own. He's a passenger in his own story, and through to the third act he's not consistently written. 

He's established as a man who does the right thing and then turns him into a murderer. He's established as a man who defies the order of things, but he denies being a revolutionary. He's a good person, and, for the most part, remains a good person...but Wright's script never quite finds the right balance for shifting between his anger and his kindness, and Powell seems to only be following direction. A likeable enough lead, but not clearly defined enough.

Similarly, the dystopia we find Ben running around in is fleshed out only so much. We don't get enough establishment between the different, disparate class hierarchies, but the film is very clear that the propaganda machine the Network employs is very effective across the class spectrum.

As a "most dangerous game" story, it's not unexciting or entertaining, and the film is asking people to hold the persons in charge of nefarious corporations accountable, but even still it's not the clearest message. It's still a retrograde story where T.V., and not the internet, or social media, is the primary form of audience engagement and how organizations manipulate the masses. As much as it's trying to represent modern concerns, the atmosphere of the story doesn't reflect our modern society enough.

I'm a fan of Wright's work, but couldn't exactly pin down the man's style (much of it is married to music or toying with genre tropes, neither of which is l'objet du jour here). In the piles of effects and craftsmanship needed to realize the dystopian future, I think maybe Wright's particular cinematic flair gets lost. As Toasty said in his toastypost "the movie is not over-the-top enough or biting enough to be a fun, corny romp. Neither is it dark & grim enough to reflect the Dark Urban Future it wants to rail against". We certainly agree.

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By Music Box Films - https://www.threads.com/@letterboxd/post/DQPQOHNjJr5/media, Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=81528754
Zodiac Killer Project sounds like a cheapo Tubi-original slasher movie or possibly a Tubi-original pseudo-documentary with some weird right-wing bent (as befits the service's Fox Corp ownership). Turns out it's neither of these, though it's clear it's still a very modestly budgeted production.

Over a decade ago filmmaker Charlie Shackleton was prepping for a documentary based on the 2012 book, "The Zodiac Killer Cover-Up: The Silenced Badge" by Lyndon E. Lafferty, a former California highway patrol officer whose maybe-encounter with the Zodiac Killer sent him on a decades long crusade to bring the man he considered to be responsible to justice. It was unsuccessful and Lafferty, and his suspect, are little more than a footnote in the Zodiac Killer conversation. But as Shackleton was ramping up production on his doc, he lost the rights to the book, and all his investment in the documentary was for naught.

He couldn't escape it though. In the intervening years, true crime podcasts and documentaries have proliferated on every channel and streaming service, and with them a visual language all its own has developed. In Zodiac Killer Project, Shackleton relays what he would have done, how he would have shot the b-roll footage, the "backtors" (actors in true crime reenactments whose backs are all we see), the locations, and how it all would have been to serve an entertaining narrative far more than the truth.

Because Lafferty's accusations and investigations were not limited to his book, Shackleton has some clearance to discuss Lafferty's prime suspect and the situations that led him to believe his suspect was the killer as well as many of the details around his investigation in to the suspect (what he can only touch upon is why Lafferty suspects there was a cover-up to dismiss and not investigate his suspect, which leaves a big cloud over the whole proceedings here).

In detailing how he would have made what sounds like a pretty bog standard true-crime documentary, Shackleton drolly takes apart all the tropes we know from most other true crime docs... specific types of footage or editing style, the presentation of certain information, the cheats the productions do to condense the story or make it more entertaining that may be stretching or warping the truth.  What Shackleton doesn't really do is account for the ethics of it all, of making entertainment out of these real-life horrors, and his capacity for examining why the public is so enthralled by such media isn't very deep.

The Bay area location imagery that Shackleton and his team shot, mostly of empty or vast spaces takes on a slightly meditative nature, with Shackleton's voice over occasionally calling out whether the footage we're seeing is at all relevant to the point in the narrative he's discussing.

Dryly funny with a slight intensity and more than a little reserved playfulness, Zodiac Killer Project doesn't get us anywhere new with the whole Zodiac Killer thing, but it brushes back the fur on a genre and exposes its soft, and kind of ugly, underbelly.  

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By May be found at the following website: http://www.movieposterdb.com/, Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=28445892
City Hunter was a manga that ran from 1985 through 1991, while near-simultaneously an animate tv series ran parallel, between 1987 and 1991. I have a vague recollection of having watched some of this anime on Canadian TV, but I may be wrong.

Jackie Chan's starred in the 1993 Hong Kong adaptation, which I think is pulling more from the anime than the manga. Chan's City Hunter is a very, very broad comedy that's trying to be a live action cartoon, one of the most difficult cinematic challenges ever. 

"City Hunter" is the nickname of infamous private investigator Ryo Saeba (Chan) an affable, womanizing, and semi-capable man-of-action. He is assisted by his deceased former partner's little sister, Kaori, who he sort of had a hand in raising and now, as an adult, she's in love with him, and he has to resist his own libido and keep her at arms length. It's a gross dynamic that, for the most part Ryo is on the right side of, but not always.

Ryo and Kaori, through separate misadventures, wind up on the same maiden voyage of a cruise ship which gets taken hostage by a ruthless white American pirate, Col. "Big Mac" MacDonald (Richard Norton). The plan is to kill all the lower-deckers and hold the richest hostage for their money. Unfortunately for them, not only is City Hunter aboard, but so too is undercover officer Saeko Nogami (Chingmy Yau) and gentleman thief Kao Ta (Leon Lai) to aid in liberating the boat.

City Hunter is a goofy movie, one that is really leaning into comedy far more than action or adventure. This is no Speed, more of a Speed 2, if Patrick Muldoon stared at Sandra Bullock's boobs and imagined them as hamburgers.  Ryo is very charming but also a known cad, so women are as apt to bat him upside the head as to fawn over him or give him a kiss. Chan isn't really known for playing much of a romantic hero, and certainly not known for playing a sexual one, so here Ryo's horniness is tempered by the fact that the character spends much of the film starving and just hoping to eat something...anything.

The usual Chan flair for action and physical stunts seems to be scaled back pretty dramatically from his more infamous efforts, I think out of service to the situational comedy. There's less physical comedy overall for Chan to perform as well. He may be a bit of a goofball but we also have to believe he can turn on the charm as well and that ladies will not only fall for it, but actively pursue it (the who Kaori side-plot depends on it).

There are some very regressive (and, at one point, brutally offensive) jokes in this film, which shouldn't be surprising for any '90's comedy. The sexism or gay-bashing aren't persistent, but they are there. On the plus side, the women of the film are largely pretty strong, capable, independent and a diverse (personality-wise) group, and central to the film. I liked them all.

Trying to do animation-style gags in physical reality is very, very challenging and doesn't often work because, well, real world physics get in the way of having these things really happen, so special effects making them happen can look really awkward and corny.  As much as this type of gag in City Hunter doesn't work, through Chan's immense charms and a remarkably game cast of performers, it winds up being a fairly fun, if not fully successful production.  The extended set piece where Chan and his opponents become Street Fighter characters after getting electrocuted by an arcade machine is a highlight of the film though (lowlight, the painfully prolongued musical number at the midway point, made worse by the fact that it wasn't subtitled ... also, if I'm not mistaken, much of the film was performed in English then dubbed and subtitled...curious).

I had fun, but this isn't essential Chan by any means.

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By IMDb, Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=49224453
Five Dolls for an August Moon is a last gasp of beatnik free-love-era filmmaking and sitting just outside of the Italian giallo wave. It's a murder mystery of sorts, but a film full of characters that seem pretty disinterested in the murders, and even more disinterested in the mystery.

Industrialist George Stark (Teodoro CorrĂ ) has invited four associates and their partners to his remote island home for a weekend holiday, but really it was all a ruse to get the men facetime with Professor Garry Farrell (William Berger) and try to convince him to sell them a secret, revolutionary new formula for a resin that will redefine...something. Whatever.  

The next morning, the houseboy winds up dead, and you know what, nobody really seems to care. They wrap the man up in plastic and put him in the meat locker. They discover that Stark's boat has gone missing and the radio has been tampered with rendering it useless. Typically this would start sending people into a panic, a murderer loose on an isolated island, nowhere to go, no one to call. But, these upperclass twits keep on partying as if nothing is happening. Except, there's plenty happening, including each of the men propositioning Farrell to obtain the formulae alone, and two of the wives having a secret affair with each other, and another of the wives having affairs with, well, everyone else. And what's up with the island girl in the mini-skirt (Justine Gall) watching everything from afar?

The bodies start piling up in an almost comical fashion, new additions to the meat locker in pretty rapid fashion, along with a couple disappeared bodies that are even more puzzling. In a typical giallo, someone would be trying to figure things out. In a typical suspense thriller, everyone would be pointing fingers at each other and things would get tense.  Here, everyone's still just drinking and trying to figure out how to get that damn formula.

The ending reveals/twists are ... to be blunt... silly. But then the fact that no tension has built up around these reveals means there's little sense of stakes here. There's an organ-led jazzy soundtrack to the film from Piero Umiliani that is far too bouncy and upbeat for the events of the film.  And that the film is largely shot with gorgeous Italian seaside daylight and perhaps a slight overexposure, there's a vibrancy to the proceedings that leaves little hidden in shadows.  I'm really not sure what exact tone was trying to be set.

Bava's an incredible director, though, so his films, even the lesser ones, still have style and impact. Here he uses a lot of split fore and background shots with a character very close in the front of frame and other characters deep in back of frame all in focus. As well, he's exceptionally focussed on the eyes and letting the eyes tell the characters' stories of lust, love, suspicion, betrayal, intrigue, etc. And with such focus on eyes, also is point of view, most highlighted by the many whip-pans the camera does to shift our point of view... not in a first-person sense but a third-person. We will see a character staring off and the camera will whip across to see what they are looking at, and if someone else is looking back we'll whip back to see their perspective. It's a curious but effective technique, even if it's not perfectly deployed here.

Had maybe the island girl been investigating these murders from the outside, and her life put at risk for doing so, this would really feel like a true giallo. As is it's a mystery that barely lifts the eyebrow, and tepidly sexy. 

Friday, July 24, 2026

ReWatch: The Magnificent Seven

 2016, Antoine Fuqua (The Equalizer) - Amazon

Ten years ago I wrote about my first watching. A decade used to seem like such a long time ago, but I have been in Toronto for over twenty years and I had what I considered an incredibly long and diverse life before that. I remember feeling middling about this adaptation of the 1970s western which was already an adaptation of the 1954 Kurosawa movie, Seven Samurai. I guess a decade has changed me, because this felt, this time, like exactly what I would want from this remake.

In one of the many alternate realities that I come from, Fuqua started his career with The Book of Eli and not The Replacement Killers. Westerns and PoAp have always had much in common and that Hughes Brothers movie was a pure PoAp western. And it starred Denzel, who came into contact with Fuqua for Training Day, and continued their relationship for many movies after. So, alternate reality or faulty memory -- you know what I will go with.

From the very beginning of this rewatch, I was settling into the things I like about westerns, especially the nods to the classics. The framing, often from low on the ground and behind a gunfighter, so we see his opponent ahead of him. The majestic landscapes as America in its youth was beautiful. A Lone Hero, dusty and weathered, good at his job but with a moral code, but still haunted by his past. I stated in my original writing that this was "just" a capable western, but for the rewatch that was exactly was I was looking for.

I was again disappointed in the lack of character given to Haley Bennett with her Emma Cullen character, the revenge drive impetus for the gathering of capable, violent men willing to kill & die for the point, and not exactly the money. She's no longer the alt-Bryce Dallas Howard in my mind, I having seen her in many things hence, but I didn't recall exactly how little agency she has here; we never learn anything about her and the only saving of grace is not having her immediately hookup with one of the horny gunfighters, despite Faraday's leering. 

Like the original, four of the men are killed in defense of the town, and honoured as heroes. Of the gathering of killers, only Chisolm strikes me as the properly "good" character -- he fought for the North and works as a bounty hunter, not a virtuous man, but chooses the side of Law. The rest are killers through and through, with maybe only Red Harvest being so lacking in background, we don't know if he is a killer or not. 

Properly great original movies get remakes and reboots. The Seven Samurai never got a "proper" remake, as in a Japanese ronin movie, but probably has more nods than just these two westerns and ... cough... Rebel Moon. I mean, there is the "Heart of Gold" episode of Firefly but that show being a space-western, you could say, once again its a nod to the original Magnificent Seven ? Now, has the original movie passed on so much so as to become a trope? There are plenty of raid movies where a group of specialists go on a suicidal but important mission, but that's not quite the same. Violent Men Defend Defenseless Villagers... I guess I should poke around on TV Tropes and see what their listing for "The Magnificent Seven Samurai" gives me.

Thursday, January 29, 2026

3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): The Running Man

2025, Edgar Wright (Scott Pilgrim vs the World) -- download

If ever you were going to do a cliche remake of a 1987 movie based on a Richard Bachman (Stephen King) novel written in the 70s, then doing it in the year the novel was actually set (2025) is very on point. Also, adhering almost canonically to the actual story is pretty bad-ass, especially when compared to the rife-with-production-issues comedy action movie starring Arnie.

In a Near Dark Future, the divide against Have's and Have-Not's has become gargantuan. You are either poor and suffering or rich and thriving. In between everyone is The Network, a mega-corp that controls the government and feeds the hungry masses with violent and/or humiliating games shows, and reality TV. Ben Richards (Glen Powell, Chad Powers), a skilled labourer in Co-op City, has a history of standing up against management for the betterment of his fellow worker, and losing his temper. It has left him black listed and unable to find work. His daughter is sick, they cannot afford medicine, so he goes down for Network game show try-outs, and while assuring his wife he won't participate in The Running Man, he ends up being perfectly suited for it.

The Running Man is a rigged game show where three participants must stay on the run for 30 days while five Hunters, and their masked leader, chase after them. The general populace can make money by turning a Runner in. For each day a runner survives, they make money, and if they survive the month, they make One Billion Dollars. No one has ever won the game, of course. Beyond that, there are very few rules, one being that they have to send in a video of themselves in every day.

This is an Edgar Wright movie, so in the tone set all the way back in Shaun of the Dead, its darkly funny and uses a lot of stylized motifs that fit perfectly into the game show environment. It has budget and a decent cast, and as said, follows the book pretty closely. And it is keenly aware it is a retro-style remake of a laughable blockbuster movie from another era. 

The problem is that I couldn't tell if Wright was trying to go for ironic-remake or sincere adaptation of a popular King book with a metric ton of political overtones that very much reflect our own issues now, even if you ignore the date. But the movie is not over-the-top enough or biting enough to be a fun, corny romp. Neither is it dark & grim enough to reflect the Dark Urban Future it wants to rail against. So, all I am left with is that Wright was intentionally doing a 90s style remake, generally meant to go Straight To Video, a kind of movie that has little meaning these days considering almost everything is rushed to Streaming.

Objectively, its not a terrible movie but its also not enough of anything to make it memorable.

Saturday, October 18, 2025

31 Days of Halloween: Quarantine

2008,  John Erick Dowdle (Devil) -- Netflix

This movie is a remake of the 2007 Spanish movie Rec by Jaume BalaguerĂ³ & Paco Plaza, who also directed the sequel [Rec]². This movie is of the tradition of faithfully remaking a movie exactly as the first, but for American audiences, and set in the US.

I rewatched this as a filler for this year's "31 Days of Halloween" as there are always a few days we miss due to ... life. I am also tempted to rewatch the original, just because.

Found Footage movies usually have the conceit that we know everyone is dead. The footage is supposed to be recovered after they all die, or disappear. In this case, the "everyone is dead" comes preposed because the trailers had the final scene of the movie -- main character Angela Vidal (Jennifer Carpenter, Dexter) being dragged off into the darkness by an unknown assailant. 

The movie begins with her footage of the San Francisco firehall. She is one of those fluff reporters building a repertoire of feel-good stories, and this one is a ride-along with a local fire station. There is some lively banter, some flirting between her and a couple of handsome firefighters Fletcher (Jonathan Schaech, Takers) and Jake (Jay Hernandez, Magnum PI), and then the call comes. They tell her that most of their calls are paramedic in nature, and most of the firefighters are trained in medical first response. An elderly lady in an old apartment building has been making a godawful din and they have called police & paramedics. A bunch of tenants have been wakened, including the super. When the cops investigate, the aggressive old lady pounces on one of the cops and tears out his throat. Everyone panics, carrying the bleeding cop to the lobby floor. Not long after, Fletcher the firefighter comes plummeting from above, crashing into the lobby floor in a bloody, broken mess. When they try to exit the building to the waiting ambulance, they are halted by men with guns and the doors are locked. 

Remember, the entire introduction is via the camera man's viewpoint, and Angela's constant coaxing to get it all on camera. At this point, she isn't panicking, but everyone around her is. Full on chaotic panic from first responders & residents with only Jake doing his best to keep a level head. The super points out that there is an overhang with window access from his office, and maybe someone could escape from there, but before they can, spotlights and armed forces and a big plastic tarp is dropped. The are being sealed in, entirely. Soon power and phone are cut. They are trapped inside with whatever is going on. The old lady has been shot, as she has killed her housekeeper. The panic ramps up.

Some details are eked out as the movie progresses. One of the residents had a sick dog, and her husband brought it to the vet. Their daughter has a fever. Another resident shows signs of illness, frothing at the mouth. The injured cop and firefighter and both salivating really bad. A vet who lives in the building comments on that being signs of rabies, but rabies takes month to progress to that state, and by that time it is fatal. The CDC sends in bunny suited specialists to test Fletcher and the cop, but that doesn't end well. Yep, zombies or Infected, but aggressive and killers.

The movie is very very effective in keeping the tension high, like on the edge of a knife high. There are lots of people screaming at each other, emotions are ratcheted up to 11 and normally this just bugs me, but here it feels appropriate. Soon, the movie escalates from a group of people trying to figure out how to escape the building, to just fleeing and hiding, until its only Jake and Angela and Scott, the camera man. They flee to the penthouse apartment, rented by a man not seen in months. His is not an apartment, more a chaotic mess of a lab, an Angela cannot help herself but rifle through the notes, giving us hints of this man investigating some sort of ancient tribal virus, something horrific and violent. The movie ends with the camera light breaking, Scott is down, the nightvision filter is on and Angela is doing her best to hide from a gaunt creature that must be the tenant. And then, like he poster, she is dragged screaming off into the dark.

Being a faithful remake of the original, I do like this movie, but again recall liking the original better, but likely only due to it being my first exposure to the story, and my enjoyment of another country's vision of an infected zombie apocalypse emerging. The found footage nature is mostly effective, if not entirely realistic. At some point, someone would have just said "fuck this" and tosses the bulky camera, screwing the record of events.

Wednesday, September 24, 2025

3 Short Paragraphs: Locked

2025, David Yarovesky (Brightburn) -- download

Yarovesky followed up the much maligned Brightburn with Nightbooks. 

Interesting, now that Gunn has followed up with his own idea that Superman was sent to Earth for less than savoury reasons, I wonder if it would be worthy rewatching "Brightburn", which was written by two other the other Gunn brothers.

Locked room movies, well locked luxury SUV in this case, usually lean on their elevator pitch. This one surely does. Eddie breaks into William's unlocked aforementioned SUV which instantly locks him inside. The movie is actually based on an Argentinian film called 4x4, which has had two other remakes in other countries, beyond the US. I guess people are mesmerized by the idea of Wealthy Citizen vs Poor Criminal, in today's world. I wonder if any succeed to any degree with the message contained within.

Locked room movies also depend on the performances contained within, as they are reduced to a small number of people, two in this case. Eddie is a petty criminal, full of excuses, dodging responsibility and the SUV is just sitting there. He needs $400 to have his shitbox of a van released from the repair shop and whatever he can find lying around, he will sell. Except he can't get out of this "Dolus". Try as he might, once the doors lock, he cannot break his way out. And the onboard phone keeps ringing. Eventually he answers, to the voice of William, a doctor who is just pissed at the world, and especially at the dregs of society like Eddie who just want to take take take. William's also more than a bit unhinged.

Of course, most of the movie is just William (Anthony Hopkins, A Lion in Winter) talking to Eddie (Bill SkarsgĂ¥rd, Boy Kills World) through the phone, leaving SkarsgĂ¥rd as the single visible performer. Hopkins is the perfect choice to do all his performance through his voice alone, but to be fair, its not a challenging role -- being pissed off and self-righteous is probably built into someone over the age of 75. SkarsgĂ¥rd does handle Eddie more delicately though, running back and forth between the loser he is, and the more thoughtful guy he could be, given he is actually intelligent. William wants Eddie to admit his culpability in what he has done, in what he perpetually does, which takes a while, and a few wounds. Eddie wants William to acknowledge that his demographic always has an upper hand, no matter how tough times get for them, but William isn't having it. In the end, only one moves forward.

Its not a terrible movie, but it doesn't do more than explore the idea, leaving any conclusions to us. Well, mostly. Some things are clear cut, some area... worth the debate. And I still like these kinds of movies that are exercises of the industry, of the makers behind them, as they are entertainment for our side of the screen.

Tuesday, September 2, 2025

ReFried Disney: Snow White

2025, Marc Webb (The Amazing Spider-Man) -- Disney+ 

Stupid Boy Project? Oh, stupid stupid boy.

This is one of the rare movies in this project that is not a remake of a recent Disney animated movie, and by recent I mean that "new era" of original Disney animated musicals that started all the way back in 1989 with The Little Mermaid. Its kind of odd to say "new era", because only ten years prior had been Disney's last animated musical, Pete's Dragon. Ten years is not all that long in cinematic eras, at least it isn't these days. But what I am getting at is that this movie is a "live-action remake" of the Classic Era of Disney Animated Musicals (deemed worthy enough to get capital letters) that stretch from the 60s to beyond. The original Snow White was in ... 1937. Nineteen Freaking Thirty-Seven!! And I probably haven't seen it since my days sitting in front of grannie's TV during The Wonderful World of Disney every Sunday afternoon.

I don't have much recollection of the original animation, but a lot of imitators came to mind as I watched this movie. Less imitation of the animation and more of the motif that became part of the collective conscious. Think Amy Adams in Enchanted. Less imitator and more homage? I mean, the story of Snow White is built into our fairy tale brain, but was that ever from a non-Disney source? I am old enough that I had an actual collection of classic Grimm / Perrault fairy tales, so it must have been in there, but admitedly the core of the story must have come from 50+ years of exposure to Disney's adaptation. From the colour scheme, to "heigh-ho", to an evil queen with her hair tucked inside a skin tight dark wimple, all are indicative of the fairy tale but visuals from Disney.

Anywayz, this movie. Cough.

I was tempted to write three paragraphs consisting only of "Fair fair fair. Fair fair FAIR fair. FAIR ! Fair fair." This movie was really really REALLY trying hard to rebrand "fair" as not referring to Snow White's skin colour, but to fairness of judgement. As in, her father was a Good and Fair Ruler. But not even Mjolnir herself could have hammered that definition into the Magic Mirror's proclamation that the Evil Queen was ever fair. Snow White was the fairest, always and forever, as was her father. That mirror was a fucking liar.

Not bothering to comment on the "her skin isn't snow white" utter whiner troll shite on the Internet. If I roll my eyes any harder at that, I will hurt myself. There are plenty of other things to dislike about the movie without that weaksauce.

The tale begins with a fair (cough) kingdom ruled by a fair King and Queen who are equal with their people. Oh, they live in a castle and wear finery and probably don't actually do anything but they also spend one day a year picking apples and preparing pies for their people. I mean, I highly doubt they bake the pies, as they probably have people to do that but they carry the prepared pies to the tables, for the villagers & castle folk. The fair princess Snow White helps, so named because she was born on a cold winter night, and sure all the people seem to love her, but one does wonder what would happen if they didn't defer to her.

Fuck you King; howsa 'bout instead of serving us over-sized pieces of apple pies (from our orchards by the way) you release us from our vassal-state and pay us a living wage? Sure, you might own the land but....

Then the queen dies and the king gets a new wife, and almost immediately after sets off to fight in a foreign war, where he dies. New Wifey (Gal Gadot, Wonder Woman) takes the throne, and immediately makes changes. Once prosperous villagers (OK maybe they were making more than a livable wage) are conscripted into her royal guard, and Snow White is relegated to scullery maid. Nobody argues, because Evil Queen.

Waitasecond here; she doesn't actually have a NAME ?!?! She's really just called "Evil Queen". I would love to see her business card.

Snow White (Rachel Zegler, Y2K) grows up in her now impoverished kingdom, locked behind castle gates. One day she bumps into a thief stealing potatoes. Snow White's royalty shows through, as she does not like him being a thief. He is caught and tied to the gates, I guess the Evil Queen's version of a crow cage, but Snow White frees him anyway; I mean, it was just potatoes. That pisses off the Evil Queen, who has been getting "yer the fairest" from the Magic Mirror, until that act by Snow White. I am still convinced the Mirror was lying all along, but not sure why he suddenly got some courage. No matter, pissed off Evil Queen orders her Huntsman to take Snow White into the forest and cut out her heart. Not sure why she just doesn't have Snow White murdered right there in her throne room; its not like she has a reputation to uphold.

Part of me wonders whether the source fairy takes tell us why.

Of course, the Huntsman feels guilty and sends Snow White off into the forest to hide. In this version, he doesn't even kill a deer, from which to cut out a heart, but puts an.... apple into the box? He knows his fate; he's just delaying. The forest is initially dark and scary and definitely UnSeelie. I know that this is supposed to be representative of Snow White being a city girl and dark rural forests are scary, but I have always like to think of it as an actually fae infested wood with its periphery tainted by proximity to the Evil Queen. Luckily though, some Uplifted Animals find Snow White and guide her to the quaintest of quaintest cottages deep in the wood.

The Dwarves Miners own the house and are away for part of the day slaving away in the mines, using their magic powers (yes, the exhibit magic) to light up the location of gemstones, which they cut out of the stone and load into mine carts for... well, I am not sure we are ever given a reason the "miners" mine the gemstones. I kind of thought they were hinting that the Evil Queen has tasked them with this duty for her throne room is going to be littered with an endless supply of perfectly cut gemstones. But I am not sure if it was edited out, or underplayed, because I don't recall any reason for all this labour. 

But complaining about minor miner duties is burying the lede. The real complaint here, and admittedly, I thought it was all the blame of Disney's terrible sub-titling, but why aren't they called DWARVES ?!?!? Seriously, if anyone is going to give fuel to the "woke agenda" bonfires its choosing to ... to what?? Choosing to not offend little people? I mean, they went with entirely CG representations of these not-dwarves!! If they wanted to separate themselves from whole "dwarf" label (and we will completely ignore the fact these are not and never were "little people" but fairy tale dwarves, i.e. the folk tale fae creatures used as inspiration for Tolkien's story species) then just make them weird human miners with odd personalities and funny names.

Umm, isn't "dwarfs" more correct in this context? 

Shaddup you.

When the miners return home, they find the lady who broke in and slept in their beds. Most of them are suspicious but a few are at least understanding of her plight, being a Princess who was almost murdered by her step-mother (cough, E. Queen). Despite being a bunch of bachelors (no implication of familial connection) living together, they don't really get along. Even if you ignore their distinct personalities and/or named-traits, they all seem to pick on Bashful. But with a song and some gentle chastising, she shows them how to work together and clean up their house, in a way only a young woman can. And by whistling. Not at young woman, but.... oh nevermind.

Snow White is convinced her father is actually not dead, just that he never came back from the war in the south. She hopes to find the rebels in the forest, or bandits or whomever is rumoured to be still loyal to her father, and not beholden to E. Queen. What she finds instead is that the rebel/bandits are actually just unemployed minstrels, and more than a little buffoonish, led by the potato thief Jonathan (Andrew Burnap, The Front Room). The two make googley eyes at each other when the Evil Queen's henchmen show up and attack. Jonathan is injured and she takes him back to the "miners" where she begs Doc to help the cute boy. "I'm not that kind of Doc," he says, implying he's probably a doctor of philosophy or something to that eye-rolling effect. Whatever he does helps either way. The two decide they are in love, and that Jonathan and his Minstrels should head off to look for their King. They instantly get caught, cuz, you know they aren't bandits nor rebels, just fucking useless musicians and actors.

From them the Evil Queen learns where Snow White is hiding and concocts her poisoned apple bit. Apparently the Fair King had a rather diabolical Evil Queen Ready dungeon/lair in his basement all along. Putting on the Kindly Old Woman disguise, which has never ever been kindly looking but Halloween Witch scary, she gets Snow White to bite the apple, and thus, sleep of death. Jonathan and the now imprisoned Huntsman escape and find Snow White and all the weeping miners (folk core prog rock band). He steals a kiss and she wakes up. 

Snow White's pissed, and decides that even though she doesn't have an army, not even any rebels, she will head back to the castle and ... guilt them into surrendering? Which is exactly what she does. Once the Evil Queen realizes that five guys wearing her armour would rather do what Snow White says, instead of her, she runs back inside and gets all pissy in front of the mirror, sealing her fate. Seems her power, and maybe long life, was tied directly to the mirror - smashing it out of frustration is not the best choice. The End, but for one long song and dance number which must have used up the urine of every man, woman and barn yard animal to get all the clothes that bleached white.

I did not like this movie, in case my mockery was too subtle for you. I knew going in that I am not a fan of musicals, but usually I can tolerate, and some, I even like. Give me one banger of a tune and I am OK. There were none, not even the ones they stole from the original. To me this felt like a boardroom full of Purple Suits (I guess that is the collective noun?) paving the way for a off-Broadway stage musical production, and didn't really care if the movie did well or not -- they just needed the framework, set visualizations, musical numbers and visually appealing costumes. 

It does not adapt the original nor any fairy tale source material well. It seems to shoe-horn in some standard, run of the mill musical components, wedged in between all the "I remember that!" scenes from the original. The (lack of) story is forgivable in a 1937 animation, but here it is just brain-numbingly empty. Nothing feels like world building, nothing feels lived-in, nothing feels enchanting. Not a single song is memorable nor are any of the visuals above passable. Characters are more often labels, not people -- see E. Queen reference above. This movie does not have much going for it, so I hope it at least appeals to seven year old dim witted children.

As for the dwarf controversy, the CG one, as we already covered the dwarf vs miner one, I was not horrified nor annoyed. I get what they were trying to do -- recreate the original animated visuals but with some resemblance to ... real people? For Average People they must seem very Uncanny Valley (maybe that's where dwarves er miners come from?) but for someone raised on video game cinematics and The Lord of the Rings they are just passingly acceptable fairy creature depictions. Nothing offensive, nothing too terrible. But to tie in the original complaint, if they were not mythical creatures, why the fuck not just cast real little people?

Hmmm, too late to back out of the Stupid Boy Project, Mr Stupid Boy?

Friday, August 8, 2025

3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): How to Train Your Dragon

2025, Dean DeBlois (How to Train Your Dragon) -- download

The live-action. My post for the original animated movie is here. The original is also a pre-Blog movie, so said post is a rewatch.

 I am prone to say posts about movies that are more Marmy (the Peanut Gallery) movies than mine, are "our" posts.

This movie post wedges in nicely with my current project -- the one about live action remakes of Disney animated movies. Not because it is Disney, but because for some reason, Dreamworks decided that their super-popular animated series about an island of dragon riding Vikings needed to become live-action. 

i.e. if Disney can do it then Dreamworks can DO. IT. BETTER. (screams a purple suit)

I imagine this concept is designed for introducing an older movie to a newer generation, but the old man yelling at clouds in me cannot help but reflect on the "there are no new ideas" rant of the past decade or so. Everything is nostalgia, everything is reused, all that is old is suddenly new again. But, despite me yelling at that cloud, I am not bothered by this ideal at all. Sure, mine my childhood, create something new from it, rework and reboot it to your heart's content. Yet, if its pretty much the same content, same story, same look & feel, then... why?

We have to be careful to not write here what should be said during the post of the first project movie's post, or... gasp... repeat myself.

Didn't repeat myself ! In the Disney post[s], I am not asking "why" at all, well not "Why is Disney Doing this?" but probably going to ask, "Why am I doing this?" more than once. Why did I do this one? Cuz we love the original and I was curious what they would do with this. I am still wondering why.

OK, Berk, an island somewhere.... north? Its all treacherous coastlines, grassy knolls and somewhere out back, pine forests. The Vikings are being attacked on the regular by dragons. There is a commentary on how most of the homes on their island are new, because they keep on having to rebuild, but there are no signs of previous attacks, and all the buildings look well lived in, until the preamble ends and half the houses in the opener are exploded and/or on fire. Part of me will repeat this adage of cartoons -- in animations, even 3D animations, we don't care about these kind of details, cuz its a cartoon, but in Live Action, it annoys me. Details folks, details.

Hiccup (Mason Thames, The Black Phone) is our reluctant hero. Other than the Tiktok hair, he's not as goofy as animated Jay Baruchel, and yes, part of what lent to Hiccup's distinct character in the original was Baruchel's refusal to give up his Canadian-isms. Of the rest, only Gerard Butler (Greenland) plays his original character, which is a fun detail on its own, but I was disappointed they went with Nick Frost (Paul) for Gobber instead of just sticking Craig Ferguson (The Drew Carey Show) in a ton of makeup -- no slight to Frost; love the guy but despite his expanded role, he was lacking for this character. And in the current tradition of Generated Outrage (I hate that an actual marketing tactic is to court the worst aspects of humanity for controversy; even bad publicity is free publicity) they cast a (gasp) black actor for Astrid, one Nico Parker (The Last of Us) and to supplement the idea of black Vikings, they added more to the island. I don't have state the ludicrous nature of disputing that their could be fictional black Vikings in a movie about dragons. If I was going to have any dispute with character change choices, it would be the twins not twins. 

Again, my love for the original is unabashed, and the D&D player in me should love the idea of these cartoony fantasy aspects finding some (real)life but... it all fell flat for me. Sure, the story is the same, and much of the imagery is faithful, but... it did not stir me. No real complaints, but for minor quibbles, but munch... burp... done, and its gone from memory. Even the majestic dragon flight scenes were... yawn. Was it me? The movie? Probably me.

I should at least be gracious and give some credits. Snotty Snotlout is Gabriel Howell (The Fence), giant sized dragon nerd Fishlegs is Julian Dennison (Deadpool 2), the "twins" Ruffnut and Tuffnut are Bronwyn James (Mickey 17) and  Harry Trevaldwyn (Sweet Sue) respectively; and yes, I get the idea they were "identical" twins for hyuk-hyuks. Nods to Peter Serafinowicz (The Tick) and Ruth Codd (The Midnight Club) as Spitelout and Phlegma respectively.

I am not sure this bodes well for this little project, even if you yell at me and remind me that technically, this movie is not part of the project.

Tuesday, August 5, 2025

ReFried Disney: Lilo & Stitch

2025, Dean Fleischer Camp (Marcel the Shell with Shoes On) -- download

Note: I just re-wrote the title based on what Kent suggested below. And because I loooove me some refried rice, refried beans, refried pizza, etc.

And thus begins my "stupid boy project" wherein I choose, of my own volition, to watch all the Disney live-action adaptations of their own animated movies, in order from most-recent to first. Why? Cuz. That's it, no deep reason. Just cuz. But a proper "why" may emerge as I write about them.

We, again the Peanut Gallery and me, were devotees of the "new wave" of Disney animation back in the cinema & VHS days. That was back when owning a movie for home viewing depended on finding a copy, usually second hand, from a VHS store. Eventually Disney would re-release them for home purchase, but for a time, when these movies would "go back into the vault", they were worth their weight in gold. I briefly worked for a place that hunted them down and resold them for hundreds of dollars a piece. This made them exclusive, precious, sought after things. It was an industry, but still, we just enjoyed them, songs and all. 

And then we grew up (that's highly debatable). And Disney switched, almost exclusively, from traditional to CG animated. Things just feel... different. We stopped dedicating effort to seeing things. These live-action re-imaginings derailed the watching, entirely.

I think this movie's original (from 2002, which is astounding unto itself [it still feels new], and explains no post) was one of the last of the traditionally animated movies, after which 3D CG animation became the norm. So, its not surprising that the merger of live-action and CG animation would follow as a "new thing". Yes, CG is used in probably all movies to some degree, but ... actually, I am not sure what I am trying to get at, but there is a difference in intent between movies that add in CG to enhance the fantastical/challenging-to-shoot (or too lazy to shoot) elements, and movies that come from the approach of cartoons but with real people. If I think about this anymore, I am probably going to end up rabbit-holing into questions of whether Barbie was a live-action cartoon. Better not, not yet.

Some rules, because what are "projects" without rules. I will do them all, so that means two versions of The Jungle Book, even the 1994 one, but I will not be doing live-action spin-off's or sequels of a live-action adaptations. So, no Maleficent or Mufasa watching. Also, I think that I need to write my posts from an original viewing perspective, as opposed to comparisons, though I doubt I will stick much to that. It will be too difficult to not compare, especially when the live-action version is lacking.

And we begin.

On a distant planet, a mad-scientist Dr. Jumba Jookiba (voiced by Zach Galifianakis at this point; Muppets Most Wanted) is being sentenced for his genetic experimentation and creation of Experiment 626 (voiced by Chris Sanders; Lilo & Stitch original), a nigh indestructible little agent of chaos creature. Jookiba will be incarcerated and 626 will be exiled, which strikes me as folly considering the characteristics Jookiba built into it, but this is a family movie so shooting it into the sun is not on the table. Buuuut, 626 doesn't like being "captured" so it steals a police starship (the red one) and escapes. Its ship is tracked to backward planet Earth and Jookiba is tasked capturing, and returning 626, along with assistance from Earth expert, Agent Pleakley (voiced by Billy Magnussen at this point; Velvet Buzzsaw). Again, seems like the opposite of a good idea, but this is a cartoon / family movie.

There is a side note of 626 becoming incredibly dense when submersed in water so it crash landing on an island (Kaua'i) is to everyone's advantage -- it won't be getting off the island anytime soon.

So, yeah crashed into Hawaii, where we are given our main characters: Lilo Pelekai (Maia Kealoha, feature debut) and her older sister Nani (Sydney Agudong, At Her Feet). Lilo is an agent of chaos unto herself, being left alone most of the time as barely out of teen years Nani attempts to work enough jobs to keep them alive. Their parents' death is not explained, but ever present. Also, Nani has to prove to CPS, under the stern but sympathetic eye of social work Mrs Kekoa (Tia Carrere, Wayne's World), that she is a suitable guardian for Lilo, or she will lose her. 

Neighbour TÅ«tÅ« (Amy Hill, Magnum PI), who takes care of Lilo on occasion, thinks getting Lilo a pet is a good idea (its not) and that is how they run into 626, napping in a little cage at a local shelter. 616 realizes quickly that it doesn't look like the other dogs, and sucks in its extra pair of arms and antennae. Still doesn't look like a dog (blue fur for one) but sure, whatever -- adopted ! Not long after, Lilo names it Stitch.

Jookiba and Pleakley show up, armed with a portal gun and their own agendas. Pleakley loves the planet and its people but, the rest of the galaxy doesn't care for us humans -- its only protected as a sanctuary for mosquitos. Umm, thankyou mosquitos? The pair are mismatched, of course, dressed in odd looking human holograms. Their pursuit of Stitch is interrupting the little blue monster's attempting to blend in with the little broken family. He's not pleased.

Eventually Lilo and Stitch's antics get Nani fired from one job after another, and its becoming certain the two sisters will be separated. But Stitch is starting to see beyond the end of his own nose, and even Lilo is starting to see that antics (fun antics, but disastrous) can have consequences. The two are learning from each other.

In the end, once Jookiba's desire to recapture Stitch, not for the safety of the galaxy but for his own further experimentation, reveals that the little blue dog is a sentient alien monster, but one with a really big fondness for a little girl named Lilo, Nani has to fight to save the really heavy when submerged creature, and explain to Grand Councilwoman (who shows up in her space ship; voiced by Hannah Waddingham, Ted Lasso) that Stitch is not a mindless monstrous experiment but a member of their little broken family. She gives in and leaves 626 in exile, on Earth.

And breathe. Impressive sentence, if I do say so... 

Its a challenge doing a recap of such a flick because they are all so much about the multitude of moments. Live-action has to be about the performances and pacing, and not just what happens. The two leads of this movie are spectacular. I was able to not be lost comparing casting choices against the images I have in my head (I mean, those images were put there by the original animation) and also not get dragged into the ever present controversy ANY movie is going to get when casting peoples of colour. If I had any gripe, its not re-casting Ving Rhames as Cobra Bubbles (here via Courtney B Vance, Project Power), the man-in-black masquerading as a CPS care worker. I can only assume Rhames was busy doing MI stuff. And I was incredibly surprised how much I loved the silly slapstick performance of Bleakley; only a little of my guffaws were at inappropriate "I needed this stupid shit" levels (its been a challenging last few months) and I was equally not annoyed with the Jookiba man-suit as performed as/by Zach Galifianakis, which was a surprise.

As a beginning to this project, I am not sure I captured what I want to capture. As reboots of their original media, they cannot stand entirely apart. Its not like comparing the two Robocop movies, which are entirely retooled in order to give an updated version. Nor was this movie a scene for scene retelling of the original animation. Was it a success, as a movie, in my mind, apart of comparing to original? Somewhat? Its fine, its a fine fun movie. But I have to claw back my desire to not compare the movies to each other, but I am not sure I can write about the new one without doing so. 

The original is a cartoon and therefore can be quite easy to leverage acceptance of silly situations. Unlike a family movie like Paddington where the suspension of disbelief is built into the world making of the movie, this one is supposed to be set in our world, and I had trouble understanding why anyone would take this blue furry definitely-talking creature as a dog. Yes yes, its for kids, but... that's my brain folks. At least the movie's David (Kaipo Dudoit, Magnum PI) says it for me, as he did in the animation, "Did that dog just talk???".

If I can say one final thing, its that I can like cartoon kids. I have trouble endearing myself to real kids. Sure, I liked Kealoha's performance fine enough, but I didn't want to hug & squeeze her like I would the animated Lilo.

Saturday, July 19, 2025

Double Dose: About Last Night

(Double Dose is two films from the same director, writer or star...or genre or theme...tilte...whatever...pretty simple.  Today: it's the same film, but not) 


About Last Night... (1986, d. Edward Zwick - hollywoodsuite)
About Last Night (2014, d. Steve Pink - hollywoodsuite)

About Last Night... started life as a play in the 1970's titled Sexual Perversity in Chicago by David Mamet. Mamet tried, and failed, to deliver an acceptable screenplay of the play and eventually Tim Kazurinski and Denise Declue crafted the script that became the 1986 Ed Zwick picture.

The film opens on scenes of Chicago, with the sound of Jim Belushi's blustering voice arrogantly going on and on about his prior night's escapades which, as we cut to the interior of Chicago's public rail transit, we see a wide-eyed Rob Lowe hanging off his every word. His words are crass, vulgar, sexist and, in tone alone, vile. The monologue continues as it cuts between Belushi's Bernie and Lowe's Danny in different settings, and one thing is absolutely clear, Bernie is repugnant.  A real '80's blowhard just absolutely teeming with straight white male entitlement, molesting random women clearly without consent. Sorry, not women... "broads".

Danny is the beautiful nice guy with his piercing blue eyes, square jaw, defined cheekbones, pretty smile and a thick mop of tussled hair. Danny doesn't really give back on what Bernie shells out, but it's clear he revels in these stories like Bernie is his mentor. So when Danny meets Debbie (Demi Moore) and is instantly smitten, all Bernie can say, repeatedly is basically how much monogamy sucks and that Danny is p-whipped. Bernie is the fucking worst. He's supposed to be the comic relief, but he's insufferable.

Hollywood tradition would infer that the film be told primarily from Danny's perspective, but, no doubt in large part thanks to Declue's involvement, Debbie is an equal protagonist here (well, almost, as this here review will wind up lopsiding to more of Danny's side of the script) and along with her cynical, disgruntled roommate Joan (Elizabeth Perkins) they are two exceptionally well-defined characters that feel much more lifelike than Danny or Bernie.

Debbie and Danny are infatuated with one another, and start spending all their free time together (and sometimes bunking off work too). They fuck a lot, and there are a lot of sex scenes which are quite tastefully done and not leering in the slightest. The camera is as enamoured with Lowe as it is with Moore, if not more so (or Moore-less).  Lowe is the prettiest creature in this film, without a doubt. 

Soon Debbie and Danny are moving in together despite the lamentations and protestations of Joan and Bernie. Debbie feels a little regret and confuses things with Danny, so he starts treating her like a roommate. She soon sees the error of her ways and says to Danny that she wants to know him, to get close, and Danny seems relieved. They confess their love for one another (I dunno...shouldn't that come before moving in together?) and things seem to go fine, except for Danny is severely unhappy with work, especially since his manager at the restaurant supply company tells him he has to cut off the struggling diner whose owner Danny is friends with.  This triggers a quarter-life crisis in Danny and he shuts down, becoming somewhat bitter and rather than talking through his feelings he just shuts Debbie out. She can't figure out what's going on with him. I was expecting an '80's romcom to have Debbie feels like she's done something wrong, to try and fix things even though it's not her fault, but she never acts that way. Moore's performance and the script's deft touch really do give her the awareness that she's not at fault in any particular way, except maybe for rushing into things too quickly.

Things continue to fall apart, slowly, over months. Eventually they come to a head at a New Year's party, and they break up.  Debbie is upset for a while, then starts dating again, and just tries to move on. Danny, filled with Bernie's godawful advice, tries to play the field but finds he's not into one-night stands and misses what he had with Debbie. He tries to connect with her, but she's having none of it (because she's a fully realized character and not a cinematic cliche). Danny goes full toxic male and starts stalking her. Really. But she tells him off, again, and he drops it, tries to move on, but can't.

He quits his job and refurbishes the jalopy diner because, bafflingly, he's always wanted to have his own restaurant (even though we never see him cook a damn thing).  With his professional life in place, he's finally happy, and when he sees Debbie again, she can tell he's different. He admits that things went awry because of him, but without really discussing any specifics on what he did wrong or how he could have behaved otherwise. Next to Bernie, it's the fatal flaw of this film that Danny, nor any other character, verbalizes the one thing Danny needed to do: communicate. Oh and drop Bernie as a friend.   

Danny's behaviour shifts from being a doe-eyed dope in love at the film's start to being resentful and bitter, but neither he, nor Debbie, nor this film seem to understand why, and it's a pretty sharp turn. It could absolutely be worse, in that it could *all* have been about being "tied down" or "playing house" like Bernie keeps suggesting.  It's definitely not only that, or even mostly that, although never labelling what it is means that the reunion at the film's finale feels like it's possibly doomed to fail again.

In the 2014 remake (the title of which drops the ellipses) Michael Ealy plays Danny, but this Danny is at least 10 years older than Lowe's, as is Joy Bryant's Debbie. While the story generally follows the same beats as its predecessor, shifting the age of the characters by ten years (or more) changes the situation, it changes the meaning behind what they're going through. In the '86 version, the pair moving in together feels impetuous, youthful, full of hope an energy, living in a dingy apartment starting a life together.  When Ealy and Bryant's duo move in together, they're experienced adults who both feel like professionals... and Ealy's studio loft apartment is pretty damn stunning, even if there is just a high-end bathtub in the middle of the bedroom.

Rather than have Danny dream of owning a restaurant, here Danny has ties to a bar owned by his late father's best friend (played by Christopher McDonald). When Danny has to cut off the bar's restaurant supplies, it cuts Danny to the core in a much more meaningful way. When Danny says he hates his job, it's that of a guy who has been working in the corporate structure for too long and *needs* to get out, rather than Lowe's Danny who is early in his working career and still trying to find what fits.  Danny needing a job and working behind his friend's bar only serves to further sink his emotional state in a meaningful way that Bryant's Debbie tries to make the best of, but is rebuffed adding further tension between them. Again, Debbie not doing anything wrong, but Danny shutting her out of his emotional situation. In the '86 version, Danny goes back to work at the restaurant supply company, only to quit again after the break-up. It's a less effective career journey for the character. I enjoy in both cases that Debbie is the more successful of the pair. It's never a direct point of contention in either case, surprisingly.

In this 2014 version, it's shockingly Bernie who breaks down for Danny what makes relationships work. But then, Kevin Hart's Bernie is a very different character than Belushi's. Where Belushi's take is full tilt toxic masculinity,  where anyone offended by him gets a "you can't take a joke?"  (You just know he's said a million times in his life "you can't say anything anymore.") Hart's Bernie is just a loudmouth, he likes to talk and talk, and he says outrageous things, but, by and large, they're not full of chauvinism and Hart's delivery is much more humourous. 

The biggest worry in the '86 version was that the film was angling to fix Bernie and Joan up. Any scene with the two of them together was full of spite and venom towards each other. Joan doesn't fall into conventional beauty standards (Perkins is so attractive though) and she's doesn't put up with Bernie's sleaziness, so Bernie is nothing but derogatory towards her. But the conventionally Hollywood wisdom is "opposites attract" and that pairing up the feuding best friend characters is funny. Mercifully it never, ever happens, and, frankly, by the end of the film, the two can still barely tolerate the presence of the other.  So imagine my surprise when the 2014 version opens with Bernie and Regina Hall's Joan already dating. In fact, they introduce Debbie and Danny together.

I was worried that if Hart's Bernie was going to be so much like Belushi's that it would ruin the character of Joan. But Hall's Joan is still loud, angry and doesn't put up with shit. She is a match for this version of Bernie...well, actually, his better. Hall goes toe-to-toe comedically with Hart, and their pairing is the film's constant highlight. Their sexual relationship is ridiculous, and these two performers give everything into it. A mid-credits outtake finds Hall and Hart verbally sparring back and forth until Hall drops a nugget that cracks Hart up to the point where he can barely breathe.

In nearly every respect the remake is a superior film. It is funnier, sharper, more insightful, and more logical. It's only in Moore's performance where the '86 film has the advantage. Bryant is really good, but Moore's Debbie had a snarky spark that Bryant's is missing. Both pairings of Debbies and Dannys are hot looking couples, and in both cases the chemistry works very well until its not supposed to. Early and Bryant's couple are shot with more steaminess but still not enough for my liking. I think, in both cases, we should feel the heat of this couple, and at best it's hot tap water.

Some other things the remake improves upon: 

  • Danny's ex-girlfirend is a much bigger threat. In this version the film opens with Danny still reeling from the break up a year later (in the '86 version, Danny's hasn't had a serious relationship before, and it shows). As well, Danny's ex-girlfriend is Paula Patton, so, you know, I get it. But also once we meet Patton, who turns up while Debbie is away, we get why Danny didn't really learn how to be in a good relationship. She is a force, and everything is her way. She also tries to seduce Danny and it's a Herculean effort of resistance. In the '86 version, when Debbie and Danny break up he says he never cheated, to which Debbie sarcastically replies "well, let's give the boy a medal! I didn't realize it was such a sacrifice." But when Ealy's Danny says it, well, having seen Patton lock her target on him...he does kind of deserve a prize.
  • Each film has a very minor pregnancy scare, and I like how each film handles it. They both handle it basically the same, with Danny being both shocked and relieved but also checking in with Debbie to see how she feels. She is also relieved but in the remake, given their mid/late-30's ages there's more nuance to it all. So moments later, when they're out on the street, Debbie fixates on a puppy from a street side rescue/adoption. She says they're at least ready for a dog, but Danny's not so sure. When he screws up Thanksgiving, he gets her the dog (named Pachino). The dog quickly becomes Danny's dog. I enjoyed how the film would incorporate the dog realistically into their lives (with Danny saying he needs to walk the dog first before doing something). Pachino starts off as a little terrier mutt then seems to blossom a couple seasons later into a weird massive doodle thing...it's the most unbelievable part of the film.
  • In the remake, Danny and Debbie have more friends than just Bernie and Joan, which plays better in the scenes when they're out partying or Thanksgiving dinner being more than just the four of them.
  • Hart and Hall really set the rhythm and timing of the comedy in this one, where it's sometimes easy to forget the original is intended to be funny. So it is weird when the remake reuses whole lines from the original that sometimes don't even fit in context or don't fit the character's voices...I guess they're just good lines that are too good not to use (I have to wonder how much of that is retained from Mamet's play). It's also very, very weird when Ealy and Bryant are watching the original on TV and commenting on how much they love it.  It's cute but also breaks my continuity-minded brain.
As much as the remake is a much more entertaining film, the '86 version is still very interesting and watchable, and in some ways progressive. It's very much a product of the 1980s and needs to be approached with that in mind, but it doesn't mean we need to detest Bernie any less, he remains one of the most repulsive characters in a romcom ever.

Thursday, April 17, 2025

A Pan-tastic Journey: looking at various renderings of Peter Pan

Peter Pan - 1924, d. Herbert Brenon - youtube
Peter Pan - 1953, d. Hamilton Luske, Clyde Geronimi, and Wilfred Jackson - Disney+
Hook - 1991, d. Steven Spielberg - Netflix
Peter Pan and Wendy - 2023, d. David Lowery - Disney+

"I don't ever want to be a man. I always want to be a little boy and have fun!" - Peter Pan

I have been alive for just shy of 2550 weeks, and in the past week I have spent more time partaking in and thinking about Peter Pan then every week prior to that in total. I have never really cared much for Peter Pan as a character, nor the "boy who never grew up" mythos. Neverland has never enchanted me as an escapist fantasy. 

There are famous people who have obsessed over Peter Pan... Michael Jackson probably the most notable, himself a boy who never truly grew up. Stephen Spielberg was another, as for quite some long time in the first two decades of his career, he seemed to be targeted by his most severe critics as a director who never wanted to grow up. The Blank Check podcast has been picking at Spielbergs early career, especially framed in the light of his pseudo-biographical film The Fablemans, leading up to the trifecta that was the turning point in his career: Hook, Jurassic Park and Schindler's List.

But I'm here to talk about Peter Pan, not Stephen Spielberg, suffice it to say that I decided to watch Hook (perhaps for a second time?) before listening to the Blank Check episode on it, and knowing the pop-culture tourist tendencies that I have, I knew I would be sampling other Pan wares soon after. 

Hook is an "unofficial" (whatever that means) sequel that presupposes that one knows the tale of Peter Pan rather intimately, which, at the time of viewing, I did not. It posits Robin Williams as Peter Banning, a workaholic father of two who can't seem to break away from his career to spend time with his children. It's very Spielbergian in this regards, the regrets of fatherhood and the feeling that one's career means both abandoning one's own youthful enthusiasms and one's tolerance for youth. Many times Williams' Peter yells at his pre-teen son to grow up. 

In a 1992 interview (stealing from the research done by the team at Blank Check) Spielberg said about initially abandoning his intents for a faithful Pan adaptation following the birth of his son "...suddenly I couldn’t be Peter Pan any more. I had to be his father. That’s literally the reason I didn’t do the movie back then. And I had everything ready and Elliot Scott hired to do the sets in London. In a way, my son took my childhood away from me.”  This unlocks a lot of Hook for me, the fact that Peter has given up his childhood to be married, and to have children and to have a career...he's bitter and resentful for having let go of his eternal youth.

Hook is not a great film, but then again, I don't think Peter Pan in general is a great story. Hook at least has a...ahem... hook to it, a reason for existing, which is to remind adults that it's okay to still connect with your childhood.

It's a long, long half hour (plus!) of the film before we get any hint of real whimsy or magic, and in that time the film is exploring its theme intensely while also trying to catch us up on Peter's life following the fabled story. It's definitely too long and most of it wholly unnecessary (although there's a bittersweet sentiment to Wendy becoming the mother to lost boys for decades, and something unsettlingly weird about Peter, effectively, imprinting on Wendy's granddaughter...it's like when Steve Rogers kisses Sharon Carter in Captain America:Civil War...it's hard to explain exactly why it's wrong, we just sense that it is).

Peter's kids are kidnapped by Captain Hook (how Hook enters the real world and steals the kids, I don't rightly understand) and Peter is brought to Neverland by Tinkerbell (Julia Roberts) to get them back. Peter, having forgotten all about his past youth, hasn't the skills, the magic, nor the playfulness to take on Cook.  Tinkerbell bargains with Cook to get Peter into fighting shape over three days so the pirates can have their epic war with the Lost Boys that they've been dreaming of (boys will be boys).  This leads Peter to the current spate of Lost Boys who have been living under the protection of Rufio. Where we see Lost Boys in other interpretations in animal costumes (like Max from Where the Wild Things Are), here they're like the lost children from Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome, all feral looking.

The best part of Hook is the actual Hook of the film. Dustin Hoffman puts on a surprisingly game performance (I don't know why I'm surprised any time Hoffman puts on a game performance, I always just am...like I think he's a more annoyingly serious actor than he is) and his plot to woo the children, which leads to him effectively adopting Peter's son Jack, is the smartest and most resonant part of the film. Unfortunately, Hook isn't terribly interested in developing Captain Hook beyond his well-mannered, if anxiety-ridden pirate persona. It never truly establishes any desires, any objectives, any growth beyond Peter's destruction, and the film is the poorer for it.

Roberts is wasted as Tinkerbell, a real thankless role, given a sub-plot that intones that she has still been pining for Peter all this time, even for grown-up, hairy Robin Williams-looking Peter.

What the film really needed was a character Peter could introduce Neverland to, whether it be his wife (who just gets left behind for the whole adventure) or his kids. Instead it gives us an amnesiac Peter rediscovering Neverland which, for me, didn't work at all.

Of course the classic Disney animated feature would be the first stop after Hook, as it seems to be what Spielberg's film is most directly referencing. The cartoon is, point blank, gorgeous. It's is so vibrantly coloured and so lovingly illustrated that it's clear this was a labour of love for the folks at Disney at the time.

I noted in the opening credits that the film was based off a play, which was the first that I'd learned that Peter Pan was indeed first scripted as a play by J.M. Barrie in 1904 ("Peter Pan, or the Boy Who Wouldn't Grow Up") and only later adapted into a novel in 1911 ("Peter and Wendy"). The credits also held the tidbit that the right to Peter Pan were (and still are) held by the Great Ormond Street Children’s Hospital (though it seems anyone can use Peter Pan without oversight, as if in Public Domain, royalties must be paid to the hospital by special concession).

The credits also play under a groan inducing choral crooning of the like that was surely outdated even by 1953's standards, and there's a few other sing-songs in the feature that don't quite hold up to the high standards of songs featured in Disney films.

As we saw in Hook, and we'll see again in Peter Pan and Wendy, here the Darling children, John and Michael are playing Peter Pan and pirates in their room. It's this weird part of these stories where Peter Pan is already a legend, and not something new to be discovered, and I don't quite care for it. It doesn't make a lot of sense, and adds nothing to the story.  In the cartoon though, it hints that Wendy has been having visits with Peter on a regular basis, and so it makes sense when her father is telling her it is time to grow up that Peter looks to remove her from that threat.

It seems like the story is meant to focus on Wendy's turmoil over growing up, with "the boy who never grew up" both her guide and her cautionary tale, but once taken to Neverland, the perspective of the tale shifts quite heavily to adventure centering around Peter, such that we lose most of the narrative thrust on what Wendy is going through.  

Tinkerbell is great in the film, Peter's faerie companion who gets immensely jealous of Wendy, as does every other young lady in Neverland, from the mermaids to Tiger Lily, the daughter of the (*cough*) "Indian Chief". (Ok, those are the only other female characters in the film, and they're all gaga for Peter who doesn't seem to have the time of day for girls or kisses. 

There's an aspect of this story where Peter's only relation to women is looking for a mother figure, for which he presents Wendy to the Lost Boys as. It's weird, and confusing and oedipal in so many ways that I'm sure there's many an essay written around it.

The use of indigenous people on Neverland basically intones that they are fantastical beings like elves and orcs, and not real people and culture. Peter and the boys like to appropriate that culture, and the godawful reductive stereotype that they're presented as here is really hard to stomach.

The Captain Hook of the joint is, again, a highlight. Hans Conreid (in a performance very much coopted by Hoffman for Hook) delivers a vocal performance that make Hook far more charming than insidious. He is a likeable guy, but can be totally callous when the time comes. The rivalry with the alligator leads to some intense Looney Tunes-inspired slapstick which is both delightful and somewhat out of step with the rest of the story.  It's a real mixed-bag of a production.   

But that bag only gets more mixed up in Peter Pan and Wendy, David Lowrey's follow-up to the assured and magical The Green Knight. Disney has been on a decade-long kick of turning their classic (and even not-so-classic) animated features into live action versions, with, at best middling results, and this is not a best-case scenario. In many respects, Lowrey seemed to be keen on re-imagining the Peter Pan story into something more Wendy-forward, but then seemed to have to compromise that with being beholden to scenes and sequences from its animated predecessor.

From the film's opening moments it shows this Wendy is much more free-spirited and action oriented as she gets in the mix of John and Michael's bedroom swordplay, taking a sword of her own, until a mirror is smashed (no talk of 7 years bad luck) and father (Alan Tudyk) comes down hard on her. In the animated version, Wendy is the great bedtime storyteller that Peter wants to bring back to the Lost Boys as mother, but in this version, Peter's been listening to Mary Darling (Molly Parker) tell bedtime stories. It's because Wendy is sad that she's getting sent off to a boarding school that she proactively asks Peter to take her with him to Neverland.

This Neverland, like all the Neverlands, is a small, unimpressive island in the middle of a great sea. As a fantasy retreat, I just don't get the appeal. Here, at least, the Lost Boys aren't all boys at all, which I liked tremendously... or would like if they had any distinctive personalities to speak of at all. At least in Hook there were a handful of the lost boys who had prominence and screen presence.  Here, they're basically crowd fill.

Jude Law plays Captain James T. Hook (ok, I added the "T") and... well.... Look, Law is a great actor, but he's a pretty serious one. He can be playful, and charming, but his playful charm is always filled with different levels of menace (see A.I. Artificial Intelligence or Star Wars: The Skeleton Crew), what he's not great at is giving over to anything overtly comedic or silly, and, in my very limited and recent experience with the Peter Pan mythos, that is absolutely what Hook needs.  As such, Law's Hook comes off as too intimidating, too scary.  Peter Pan and the Lost Boys shouldn't be frightened of what are essentially bumbling pirates (clearly the animated Hook and crew was part of the inspiration for Our Flag Means Death...like a total prototype) led by a Captain with a clock phobia.

In any of these adaptations the flying sequences have all been pretty ho-hum though each of them have a moment or two that comes close to grandeur (if never fully obtaining it). Here, the flying is perhaps overextended, basking too much in it, but I did like the visual of flying through Big Ben, the clock separating into component pieces intoning that they've left our reality and are traversing to another. But the effects of Peter Pan and Wendy vary drastically, from very impressive to utter ass. I have no issues at all casting a Black actress (Yara Shahidi) as Tinkerbell, but it's the way in which they shot her, the cut-tos, the center-of-frame framing, the clearly Volume soundstage backdrops...it's all really ugly and the effect is off putting. I appreciate that they kept her dialogue as a tinkling bell, but they took away Tink's swooning and territorial aggression towards Peter which was, I have to say, one of her charms in the animated feature, and in the 1924 silent film as well.  There's not a scene that I can think of in this production where Tinkerbell works well, and it's all a matter in how they decided to employ her visually (again, nothing to do with skin colour and all to do with cheap special effects that look more Disney Channel than Disney Motion Picture).

The biggest change of the Pan story (besides the total elimination of the "Indians" as residents of Neverland - Tiger Lily is instead another Lost Boy ... I think...) is in Hook's story. The reveal here is the Peter and Hook used to be mates, best friends, Lost Boys forever, until James decided he wanted to go seek out his mom, and Peter would not accept him back. James did not find his mom, and he lost his friend, and his youth. No wonder he's so bitter and angry. I actually liked this shift to the story, it really did add something, it's just a shame it's largely an ugly, muddled mess of a production that truly doesn't work.  If there's a signature style to COVID lockdown-era productions, this one hoists it in spades. Everything seems so sparse, and full of hesitation. I really would have liked to have seen Lowery's vision for Pan without meeting the needs of Disney.

Of the versions of Peter Pan I watched, the 1924 Paramount production, available in multiple forms on YouTube, was perhaps my favourite. Maybe it was because it was a silent picture and I could put it on double-speed and not lose anything at all about it, and for me, shorter Pan is better Pan... but also the practicality of it all, the hybrid between early studio cinema and stage production really gave it a feeling that I was watching something closest to its roots.

I'm not a lover of silent films, generally, but I was rather engaged by this, I feel moreso than I have been about any of the other Pan films. Weirdly, because of the title cards in the film, I had to pay more attention to it, rather than distract myself with IMDB deep dives or looking up trivia (or playing a game) on my phone while the film runs its course.

Nana, the Darling family's Saint Bernard which also doubles as the children's nanny, is played by a man in a dog suit. It's not convincingly real in the slightest, but for 1924 it's pretty great (except those eyes).  Nana performs all sorts of actions, like drawing and bath and giving the children their medicine, which are clearly tasks above and beyond what an real-world dog can do. I thought the ever-active Nana in the animated Disney version (the best character in the film) was purely a Disney creation for comedic purposes, but no, it's clear it was in Barrie's source material.  Lowery didn't bother with much Nana business at all in his movie and Hook, being sequel decades in the future meant Nana wasn't around anymore.

Though used sparingly, I think Tinkerbell is incredible in this film. For the few up-close scenes, they created maximized sets to look like she was interacting with giant drawer handles or window latches, and in other scenes the compositing is astonishing (any time I see compositing in a silent film I'm always astounded, first by just the sheer ingenuity in the face of limited technology, and second because it almost always looks fantastic). 

In this telling of the story, Wendy is once again running away from growing up, and Peter is her escape. As in most versions, its clear she likes Peter and, as always, wants to give him plenty of kisses. And just like in most versions Peter is curious about kissing, but where later films try to play it as youthful romance, here Peter seems to be confusing romantic versus maternal.  All throughout he debates with Wendy about whether she's a mother figure to him or something else...and he's always on the side Wendy being his mom (except when he's not).  The oedipal confusion is especially high in this version, as is Wendy's vexed feelings about Neverland. It is an escape from the growing up her father is charging her with, but if she's only going to become a mother to all the Lost Boys then isn't that just another form of growing up too soon?

Peter here is played by a woman, Elisabeth "Betty" Bronson, as was traditional for stage versions of Peter Pan. I really would like a version of Peter Pan that plays with the gender fluidity of Peter, and tells a more queer story of puppy love. It's subtext that should have been there this whole time but seems to have been cleared out of every major version of Peter Pan where a male lead stars.

This version also has "Indian" inhabitants of the island, but I dare say (besides my earlier comment of envisioning indigenous culture as something mythical) they're role is far less ugly than in the animated version, in no small part thanks to it being a silent movie. Their role is much more limited as well, but, unfortunately they're also brutally slaughtered by the pirates when watching over the Lost Boys encampment, so they're definitely not treated well.  In fact there's certainly more death and violence in this version than any of the others I saw (the Lost Boys, including young Michael get real busy stabbing pirates dead).

This silent version moves the story's framing base from London to...somewhere in America, and along the way makes young Michael into a rah-rah-America boy, who at times elicits yelps of pro-America patriotism that, somehow, remains quaint, I guess. At one point, the boys (all the Lost Boys included) start singing "My Country 'tis of Thee" (how do the Lost Boys know that song)a, and in another scene after the boys defeat the pirates, they lower the Jolly Roger and raise the Stars and Stripes (where'd it come from....? Magic?). 

"The Lost Boys are the children who fall out of their perambulators when their nurses aren't looking," Peter says, and to me, there's an aspect to Peter Pan that has me wondering if metaphorically Neverland is meant as some form of afterlife, that the Lost Boys are dead children.  It's a theory that doesn't hold water in the actual execution of these stories, but it is said that Peter Pan was based on Barrie's brother who died at 14 and his mother would say he was the boy who never grew up.

One of the aspects of Peter Pan that isn't always consistent is that the actor who plays Captain Cook *sometimes* also plays Wendy and the boys' father. I'm not really sure whether that's just casting simplification or, if there's supposed to be some thematic connection there, well I'm not seeing it, especially since Wendy barely interacts with Cook at all. This is true of 2003's Peter Pan from Australian director P.J. Hogan for Universal/Columbia where Jason Isaacs plays both roles.

I started watching this version of Peter Pan, and, honestly, think I was enjoying it more than any of the other retellings, since as a live action translation it was really effectively threading the line between live action and cartoon, and it was setting Wendy up in a way I found lacking in most other interpretations. But I only got maybe 20 minutes in before I was pulled away and I can't say I've found the urge to go back to it. My trip into Neverland is over and it's likely to be a while before I'm ready to go back.

[For the record, my favourite all-time Peter Pan adaptation is the legal musical Michael Bluth starred in as a child in Arrested Development.]