T&K's XMas (2023) Advent Calendar: Day 19 - Never Kiss a Man in a Christmas Sweater

2020, Allan Harmon (Global Frequency) -- download

I need to acknowledge Kent's foray into these more.

The Draw: After the last few, and especially the last one, I needed a "palate cleanser"... not quite the way Kent would mean it, but I needed something more down the trope-laden path. Its hard to believe, but there is a level of quality (is that the right word?) from a certain subset of these movies. I am not bold enough to track the Production Studios to determine which ones do it best, but when I see Ashley Williams and Niall Matter in a Hallmarkie, I know I am going to get a certain level of something I will enjoy.

And I did.

HERstory: Maggie O'Donnell (Ashley Williams, Sister Swap: Christmas in the City) is a grade school teacher in Colorado. Its near the Xmas break and she is getting ready to spend her first Xmas without her daughter. This year she spends Xmas night and day with her dad. But that's alright as Maggie has all her non-job work work work to keep her distracted, as well as the opportunity to finally reorganize the guest house into an art studio, like she never got to do while she was married. 

I guess she got a good settlement from the divorce cuz that house, and guest house, are not something a teacher's salary would make.

First up, get a tree for the military family's youth centre. The Xmas Tree Lot is busy busy busy so Maggie grabs the tree and lugs it herself. WHAM !! A jogger runs smack into the tree and is laid out. And look who the jogger is, its the cute Ugly Xmas Sweater Dad (Niall Matter, Eureka) from an earlier scene where we were filled in on Maggie's family situation.

And this isn't just a knock-down, apologize for me being so clumsy encounter. He was knocked out! He has broken his wrist! He's in the hospital getting out of emergency surgery! She's sitting beside his bed psyching herself up to apologize and offering to pay his bills. Again, she must have some bank to offer to do that.

And guess what, she just ruined Ugly Xmas Sweater Dad's holiday, who turned out to just be an Ugly Xmas Sweater Uncle, doing a brief visit to his brother & family before heading to Aspen for a ski holiday. With pins in his arm and followup appointments scheduled, he ain't doing no skiing. He's stuck in the pretty PST of ______.

Maggie's still feeling guilty and hotels are expensive, so she offers him free accommodations in her guest house. He accepts, but he's kind of prickly about it. Can you blame him? No, lady I don't want tou enthusiastic hospitality, just let me mope in my place. But no, her goofy personality coaxes him inside to "decorate her tree" (sorry, wrong movie) as they need a tall man to help. Uh, he's not that tall and the tree ain't that high. Whatever, Tree Decorating Time.

And then Maggie ropes him into volunteering at that youth centre. Her daughter is away with her ex so she has lots of time to fill, and since he's in the guest house, it won't be about cleaning up her painting supplies. So, off to the youth centre they go.

It was at this point that I noticed exactly how much Xmas is going on in this little PST. There are trees and bulbs and garlands and trees and bulbs and trees and bulbs EVERYWHERE. Every planter stand on every street, every open space in the youth centre. It positively reeks of Xmas everywhere. I love it.

And the kids are doing Gingerbread Houses!! A local bakery donated the kits. The kids suck at it but Sweater Uncle, who I suppose I should reveal is named Lucas, is an architect so he helps the kids put together four walls and a roof. And then, SNOWBALL FIGHT !! I guess they had some real snow handy, or at least some nicely packing rink slush. The kids love Lucas; Maggie is starting to make googley eyes.

Later on they talk talk talk, and re-decorate her tree (brown chicken, brown cow) and sit on her deck, in December, in Colorado. Hallmarkie folks are hardy folks; they don't need no heat ! Also, there is no cold. And no snow.

Back at the youth centre, an idea is formed -- build a REAL gingerbread house, but not from gingerbread and not house sized. More, painted tree fort, on the ground, made to look like a gingerbread house. Lucas will design, the kids will build and paint, and after Xmas it will become a playground fixture. Great idea! Lucas is jazzed. Maggie is enthused. Kids are happy!

But Sweater Uncle gets a call from his boss. Nuff with this sabbatical dude, get back to work work work !! Uhh, no not yet Boss Man, I am happy doing stuff that makes me feel good.

Uh oh. I think I am channeling the Godzilla posts. Godzilla watches and reviews Hallmark Xmas Movies? ROOAAAR !!

Finally, the Ugly Xmas Sweater Party happens, the one that Lucas was wearing the sweater for, the sweater that gives him both his Sweater Uncle name and the name of the movie. Maggie's his plus-one and her sweater out does them all with blinkie lights and even music. Its also kinda sexy, but I may be biased in favour of sweater dresses. Of note, everyone there, his brother & family, his best friend Cameron, Maggie's best friend Alyssa -- everyone sees the chemistry and is encouraging lovey dovey!

And Lucas picks up on it. He knows Maggie is missing his daughter and despite her work work work still being about other people, he knows she needs an Xmas night just for herself. So he treats her to a Santa Sleigh/Carriage Ride. They snuggle, but don't canoodle (no canoodling yet) and I am happy to see a Santa in a movie; there has bee a dearth of Santas in these movies this season.

Oh yeah, beyond the Giant Gingerbread House, Maggie and Lucas are trying to do something special for the kids, and thus we have our Xmas Event -- a video chat from deployed parents for the kids at the youth centre. They are pestering and pestering the base colonel, who despite being annoyed by these pesky civilians, is charmed they are so interested in taking care of "her family".

Xmas Event Night !! Maggie has a nice (yeah, just nice, very chaste, very comfy looking) red dress but during the event she overhears Lucas talking to Cam about going back to NYC. We can easily guess its to pick up his stuff and move back to the PST, but she misinterprets that he is moving back. Lovey Dovey is quashed and she begins giving him the cold shoulder. Like really cold. Seeing Ashley Williams not smiling is .... chilling. The video chat is a big success (nice shout out to the IT Dept!! No seriously, they acknowledge they have IT people helping) but Maggie is all mean to a confused Lucas who begins second guessing staying in town. 

Xmas Day. Everyone is sad. They meet one last time to exchange gifts but never say what is on their mind. Unnnnntil, Maggie opens her gift and its TICKETS TO PARIS !! She's always wanted to cliche paint in Paris. And Lucas opens his gift and its the architecture book by an famous architect that features his own dad. They both pulled off the sweetest, most perfect gifts for each other.

TURN THE CAR AROUND CAM !! Yeah as Kent said, Cam's total buy-in to turning the car around is wonderful. He's totally invested in his best friend's happiness.

Meetup, makeup, kiss and live happily ever after. After he finds a job.

The Formulae: Much trope, very Xmas. An incredible opening fly-over scene of a LOVELY snow covered PST. A town utterly PACKED with Xmas cheer. A Big City Guy trapped in a lovely PST with a PST homey girl with a heart of candy cane. Tree Lots (though a dangerous one this time) and multiple Xmas Tree Decorating! And gingerbread! And lots of walking around past Xmas related stuff; there was even a roasted chestnut stand in the background. Ugly Xmas Sweaters! Snow Ball Fight! Xmas Events, and while they didn't have any dancing, they did give a decent red dress. Misunderstandings! Oh, and the rarely used (these days) clumsiness that introduces our Leads. And. So. Much. Xmas.

Unformulae: As these movies need single people to work, there was a divorce and a breakup, but at least there weren't dead people. He's also not giving up his Dream Job to stay with her; in fact, his Dream Job is to NOT go back to his old job.

True Calling? No! Despite her doing a lame attempt at stating this is why she's not interested in Ugly Sweater Uncle, she really does want to canoodle.

The Rewind: Not a rewind but I had to chuckle at one remark, that may have been a low-key reference to the west coast Canadian market casting world -- Matthew MacCaul, who plays Lucas's best friend Cameron mentions being "only half a zombie" and we (Peanut Gallery and I) know him best for being a homicidal zombie on one of our fav shows, iZombie. 

The Regulars: Duh. Ashley Williams and Niall Matter. Maggie's friend Lisa MacFadden has done her fair share of these. Lucas's brother has also done an equal amount.

How does it Hallmark? Its a pretty perfect Xmas Hallmarkie for me. Weird to find out its based on a book called Never Kiss a Man in a Christmas Jumper by British author Debbie Johnson.

How does it movie? Given it was based on a romcom book, you would think it could do more. Alas, its rote Hallmarkie.

How Does It Snow? There was significant amount of cotton batting used to round out scenes to be snow covered, and while it was very obviously NEVER cold outside, there is also a real good amount of ice rink shavings masquerading as snow.