Japanese Name: Chikyū Kōgeki Meirei Gojira Tai Gaigan [Earth Destruction Directive: Godzilla vs. Gigan]
US Title: Godzilla on Monster Island
UK Title: War of the Monsters
Director: Jun Fukuda
Studio: Toho
Year: 1972
Length: 1h29
Godzilla hanging on Monster Island, shooting shit with Anguiras, reading word balloon, when strange noise catch our attention. Anguiras not know what that was, so Godzilla make Anguiras investigate. Chump. Godzilla going sleep in Anguiras' bed while gone.
Anguiras return long while later, crying like baby, only baby cry less. Say humans pop machines fling their stinging poop at him. Guess Godzilla now have to figure this out.... Godzilla and Anguiras go for swim. Godzilla sense new monsters about, tell Anguiras to swim faster even though Anguira keeping pace with Godzilla...ha. Godzilla so bossy.
Godzilla and Anguiras arrive at shore and, oh shit, asshole Ghidorah is back. Godzilla hate that asshole. Godzilla happy to learn Godzilla kill that asshole in 1999, three years ago in the future. There other creature with asshole, look like real dickhead, with big metal hook hands and a circular saw in belly. Godzilla taunt asshole and dickhead, but they not come to Godzilla, so Godzilla go to them.
First thing, tackle three-headed space lizard. What, dickehead fly even though no wings or atomic breath to propel? Godzilla blast dickhead out of sky. Ghidorah's bad breath very annoying to Godzilla. Then dickhead and asshole team up to beat on Godzilla. Where chump friend Anguiras? Oh, there Anguiras is, getting beat up by dickhead. Anguiras kinda worthless.
Like in previous encounter Ghidorah blast Godzilla in belly, make belly tingle, then push Godzilla into bridge. Where bridge come from?
Dickhead try to kick boulder at Anguiras, Anguiras lob boulder toward Godzilla and Godzilla fling it right back in dickhead eye. Then Godzilla fling boulders at asshole heads, before remembering Godzilla try this before and it not work well.
Dickhead take flying leap at Godzilla and sawblade belly cut Godzilla open. Godzilla bleed red! Flying dickhead persist at being problem, keep fly by, knock Godzilla in head. Asshole start flapping wings, make windstorm, sand in Godzilla eyes. Blurry vision. What this? Giant smooth pretty lady Godzilla? Godzilla know Godzilla in middle of battle to death, but must go check out pretty lady Godzilla first...
Wait a minute, that no pretty lady Godzilla, that fake Godzilla with humans run around inside. Godzilla smash fake Godzilla la....OW! Fake Godzilla lady eyes shoot lazer beams that real hurt, pinning Godzilla to ground. Godzilla hear dumb friend Anguiras cry as dickhead split Anguiras head open with belly blade, but Godzilla can't help until lazer eyes Godzilla lady taken care of. Wait... Godzilla lady spontaneously explode. Hooray.
Now Godzilla very sore, can't get up. Dickhead kick Godzilla while down. Asshole beat up on Anguiras. Dickhead use hook hands split Godzilla head open. Asshole headsbutt Godzilla so hard, Godzilla fly into burnt out husk of fake lady Godzilla.
That it. Godzilla just real mad now. Thump chest like Kong. Real psych-up motivator. First take out hook hands, knock down just wail. Godzilla use stupid modern art human tower to run interference on dickhead. Godzilla tackle dickhead and just Dumb friend Anguiras finally get up and help, bite asshole on tail, but get sent flying. Useless.
Godzilla done stomping dickhead, go take on asshole. Dickhead try flying at Godzilla but Godzilla get out of way now dickhead and asshole fight each other. Godzilla blast hookhands repeatedly out of air, not sure why dickhead keep trying.
Godzilla grab asshole heads, Anguiras send spiky back flying into Ghidorah body repeatedly. Then Godzilla bodyslam asshole 3 time over, before stomping on necks. Both asshole and dickhead fly off into space.
Ok, Godzilla done. Need break, swim home with dumb friend as sun rise.
The Human Story:
Gengo is an illustrator who need work. Tomoko is helping her boyfriend try to find him work. These two are too cute for words. His next opportunity is at a kaiju themed amusement park, Children's Land, which its director is creating as a place to teach children all about the ideal of absolute peace and harmony...and once it's built and successful, he will obliterate Monster Island and the terrorizing beasts that inhabit it.
Gengo doesn't much care for the director and the chairman is a teenage Bond villain, preaching of absolute peace at all costs. Gengo helps a woman, Machiko, escape with a data tape, finding out that her brother who works for Chidren's Land has gone missing.
When they play the data tape, it somehow rouses Godzilla and Anguiras, and the two have a discussion via word balloons on screen (they speak in record scratches like the Prince from Katamari Damacy). Godzilla sends Anguiras out to see what that noise was. Meanwhil Gengo and his new friends Scooby Gang their way through a mystery Children's Land and of the identity of the chairman and the director. Turns out they're aliens from M Space Hunter Nebula, and they're trying to soften the defences of Earth for an invasion.
But first, Anguiras, on his own Scooby investigation, gets sidelined by the Japan Self-Defence Force. Just before the chariman is about to assassinate Gengo and friends, Tomoko turns up and kicks the crap out of the chairman and his henchmen. They report their findings to the authorities who are in disbelief, but then the alarms sound that Godzilla and Anguiras have left Monster Island together.
King Ghidorah (a new one?) and the cyborg kaiju Gigan are dispatched from M Space Hunter Nebula to intercept Godzilla and Anguiras. Gengo and Machiko sneak into children's land to rescue Tomoko's brother. They're captured, and it turns out the invaders are cockroach people. They control Ghidorah and Gigan using the data tapes that tweak other Kaiju out. Ghidorah and Gigan rampage through Tokyo. Gigan has a buzzsaw belly!
Godzilla and Anguiras seem outmatched by Ghidorah and Gigan. Their whole plan is to direct Godzilla towards the theme park and in range of Godzilla Tower, where the cockroach people have heavy lazer that really hurts Godzilla. The humans have informed the JSDF that the tower is the true threat to Godzilla, and they hach a plan to blow it up, which involves putting dynamite in the tower's elevator. Godzilla tower blows up good, freeing Ghidorah and Gigan from the mind control in the process.
But that doesn't stop Gigan from picking up the wounded Godzilla and splitting his head open. Blinded in one eye and battered, what hope is there? Pure king onf the monsters rage. A Kong style chest thump and Godzilla is ready to rumble. With coordinated attacks, he an Anguiras send the alien kaiju packing.
Godzilla, Friend or Foe:
Godzilla his own man, except not man, kaiju.
The Sounds:
Akira Ifukube is back, or, rather, his songs are. The music is all repurposed from prior films, but the driving, intense theme score in place over the opening credits reminds me of Roy Budd's Sandbaggers theme (this predates that since. There's a closing song, like a western bard song, that is way too literal. It is sung by Susumu Ishikawa and composed by Kunio Miyauchi.
The Message:
Once again the story warns of man's tendencies towards self destruction, by pollution and radioactive weapons. The aliens know the planet can only have peace if there's no humanity left.
Rating (out of 5 Zs):
ZZZ - This one looks great, generally, with an awesome 70's aesthetic in wardrobe, set design, and general vibes. The rampaging and destruction is the best we've seen yet, with excellent use of smoke, fire and shadows. There is unfortunate (and unnecessary) reused footage monster fight footage from prior movies, which I found distracting as it's far from seamless. Otherwise the camera work is lively, moving around, pulling close-ups and tracking shots. So it's all the more noticeable when the reuse comes in.
No comments:
Post a Comment