Go-Go-Godzilla: #10 Destroy All Monsters

Japanese Name: Kaijū Sō-shingeki (Monster All-out Attack)
Director: Ishiro Honda
Studio: Toho
Year: 1968
Length: 1h29

Godzilla's Story:
Godzilla stuck on stupid island. Every time Godzilla go to leave stupid island, Godzilla catch whiff of stinky pheromones (smell like Kong, but stinkier) and not want go there. So Godzilla stuck on stupid island with stupid Anguiras, and stupid big spider, and stupid big snake with legs, and even BFF Rodan get on Godzilla's every last nerve. And why Mothra stupid larva again? Mothra full blown giant moth last time Godzilla see Mothra. Oh yeah, and stupid ugly baby Godzilla's here too.  Godzilla want to escape so bad.  Wait, what happening to Godzilla brain. Godzilla no think like Godzilla anymo...

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... 
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Woah, where am Godzilla? Oh, Godzilla not on stupid island anymore. Thank Christian God. Zilla. Hey look, dead body of Ghidorah. That good Ghidorah dead. Ghidorah such asshole. What this egg thing sticking out of mountain? Maybe something tasty inside? What? No tasty, just stupid shiny humans. Feh.

Ugh, ugly dumb baby want to go back to stupid island. Ugly dumb baby call island home. Guess Godzilla go back to stupid island with all the other stupid big things. Godzilla start group therapy for survivors of shiny human manipulation.

The Human Story:
At the close of the 20th century (so this is a big time jump in the future) the U.N. Science Committee has an advanced rocket ship - Moonlight SY-3 -- and a moon base, and a massive aquaculture project, as well as a deep underground research station on Monster Island (here called "Monsterland" because it's the future, and we truncate things because we're so busy...in the future) for observing the kaiju: Godzilla, Rodan, Anguiras, Mothra (having reverted to larval form) Gorosaurus (?) and more. They're kept in line with containment mists calibrated to deter each individual creature, and a magnetic shield to keep the flying kaiju in. The aquaculture produces plenty of food for them.  

The Monster Island research base is sabotaged and everyone and everything is gassed. Next thing the UNSC knows is Rodan is attacking Moscow, Mothra terrorizing Beijing, Gorosaurus mauls on Paris, Godzilla takes New York and more monsters attacking major cities around the world, except Tokyo, the closest world centre to Monster(Is)land.  Why are the kaiju attacking, and in such coordinated measure?

Meanwhile, in space, the UNSC spacemen flying around in funny circles in space spy a dark silhouette on the horizon. Could it be... Planet Xers are back? No!  The rocket SY-3 returns to Earth and lands at the Monster(Is)land station where they find the  familiar faces of the staff... but...with different personalities. The monsters are under their control, they say. An ambassador from the asteroid Kilaak has mind controlled everyone, including the Kaiju. The astronauts escape with one of the brainwashed scientists and interrogate him, but he ain't talking. He jumps out a 10-story window instead.  Other brainwashed scientists arrive on the scene and attempt to kidnap the astronauts but fail when the secret police show up. A dead footman reveals an implant behind the ear, a receiver of sorts. They start searching for the transmitter. Gross. Blood.

They realize that there are transmitters hidden across the globe...the cliffs of Dover, the steeple of a church in Spain, in a coconut in Guam, on a bookshelf in a therapists office in Denver, under a car seat in Oslo, in a toilet tank in Johannesburg. Those tricksy Kilaakians.

Monsters attack Tokyo after the Kilaakians set up a base within a mountain in Izu. The JSDF heads out to Izu only for the monsters to attack them.  Time after time, the Kilaakians petition for peace and to cohabitate on Earth in harmony, but with the threat of siccing the kaiju on humanity if they don't it does not seem a genuine offer. So, the humans resist. They discover the Kilaakian's master mind control device is on the moon base, so the rocket SY-3 team jets off and destroys the device. The UNSC figure out how to mind control the kaiju their damn selves and do so, sending the kaiju out to destroy the Kilaakians. But the Kilaakians have an ace up their sleeve: King Ghidorah...except he's just no match for all these damn monsters and he is killed quite dead. In the future.

The Kilaakians sever the humans' mind control over the kaiju, but the kaiju continue to attack them anyway.  With one final trick up their sleeve in their defeat, the Kilaakians set a fire demon free to ravage the world. Rocket SY-3 takes on the fire demon -- which turns out to be a flying saucer -- and wins.  The day is saved!

Godzilla, Friend or Foe:
The enemy of my enemy is my friend...unless he is mind controlled by the enemy...

The monsters here are plenty - Godzilla, Rodan, Mothra, Mililla (Godzilla's son), Anguiras (from Godzilla Raids Again), Kumonga (the giant spider from Son of Godzilla), and three new faces to the Godzilla series:
Baragon (a bulky quadrupedal horned, plated dino from Toho's Frankenstein vs Baragon, directed by Honda), Manda (a Japanese dragon, from Toho's Atragon, also directed by Honda) and Gorosaurus (a more straightforward-looking t-rex, from Honda's film King Kong Escapes, co-produced by Toho and Rankin-Bass)

The Sounds:
A lot of bombastic military-esque marches and trumpeting from Akira Fukube.  It's effectively large sounding, with some memorable stings. Not my favourite Fukube score, but serves the film well.

The Message:
You can't petition for peace and harmony when you're swinging a big stick.

Rating (out of 5 Zs):
ZZz - It took four tries to watch this completely. I fell asleep twice and lost interest once more. Given how much I love sci-fi, you would think this one and Invasion of the Astro-Monster would be totally in my wheelhouse, but not so much. Given that there's so many kaiju in this you'd think I'd like it more.  There's a lot going on in this one, but none of it is very thrilling. There's no real character to any of the characters. The squad of rocket SY-3 is just six guys in yellow rubber pushing buttons and performing knees-up running around advancing behaviour. There are no personalities there. The cast (despite a few of them having appeared as different characters in the past) are direly charmless here. I was just not at all invested.