Japanese Name: Gojira Minira Gabara Ōru Kaijū Dai-shingeki (Godzilla, Minilla, and Gabara: All Monsters Attack)
Alt US Name: Godzilla's Revenge
Director: Ishiro Honda,
Studio: Toho
Year: 1969
Length: 1:09
The Creature's' Story:
Does not compute.
The Human Story:
Ichiro is a bullied, imaginative, latchkey kid, left to his own devices with both his parents working. He's kind of obsessed with kaiju. He falls asleep playing with a homemade "computer" after school, and dreams of being on Monster Island, witnessing a clip show of the mind. In his dream he's present for Godzilla's past battles and watching the big monsters moving about the island. He falls down a well (in his dream) after being chased by a Kamacura (the giant mantis from Son of Godzilla). He's rescued by Minilla (son of Godzilla), who able to talk in the boy's dream. Also, in the boy's dream, either the boy is really large, Minilla-sized, or Minilla is really small. They become fast friends.
But, oh no, the kaiju representation of Ichiro's bully, Gabara, attacks. Ichiro and Minilla flee to see Godzilla, but Ichiro is woken up by his neighbour the toy maker to be given the bad news that mom's got a double shift and isn't coming home. So Ichiro goes out to play in an abandoned warehouse, as a latchkey kid is wont to do...where bank robbers are hiding out. Ichiro finds one of their drivers' license on the ground which causes the robbers to go out searching for him. Ichiro falls asleep after dinner with his neighbour, and dreams once more of hanging out with Mililla and watching clips of Godzilla fights. Then Gabara attacks, again.
Minilla goes to confront Gabara, as Godzilla says he has to learn to fight his own battles, and grows three sizes but is still half Gabara's size and is just whomped by him. Minila and Ichiro run away. Meanwhile, in real life, the robbers have found Ichiro and threaten to cut him. They go from bank robbery to kidnapping and child endangerment... to what end? Nobody knows. It's very ill-conceived, but then the head bank robber does seem to be drinking a lot, so sound judgement isn't maybe his forte in this state.
Ichiro returns to daydreams of Mililla fighting Gabara, Minilla still getting whooped. Godzilla arrives, but only to stop Minilla from escaping the fight. Godzilla keeps throwing the kid into danger before finally intervening and beating the living crap out of Gabara (just so we're clear, in this scenario, Gabara is to Minilla what Ichiro's bully is to Ichiro. Godzilla stepping in is like a grown man stepping in and beating the snot out of Ichiro's 12-year-old bully).
Ichiro escapes the bank robbers and sets a trap, sending one of them falling through a hole in the floor and hitting the other one with a fire extinguisher. Through happenstance the cops are summoned and taken away. Filled with newfound confidence, rather than trauma, Ichiro tells his parents they can work all they want, and goes out and headbutts his bully and then becomes a real nuisance to society unafraid to act on whatever impulse he has. The end.
Godzilla, Friend or Foe:
In dreams Godzilla is a big, bossy daddy. Parents are complicated.
The Sounds:
This thing opens with a big swinging 60's lounge sound, but with actual lyrics. It's less 007 and more Pee-Wee's Playhouse. The lyrics were only partially translated over the credits, but the song is repeated less then 3 minutes later, so no worries there. The singer has a real coarse rasp that pulls the song out of being too cutesy. It's pretty awful, lyrically, but I kinda like it...?
The Message:
You should fight your bullies even if they're likely to crush the shit out of you.
Stop complaining about your mom and dad working so much.
Rating (out of 5 Zs):
ZZ - at barely 70 minutes, this is an ever-so-slight story about a lonely, sensitive child learning how to cope with being on his own (it was a real issue in Japan with a boom of both parents needing to work, but no real infrastructure to support the children as a result). As a kaiju movie, it's pretty garbage, but if you were to carve out all the dream sequences it would be a charming, kind of a sad tale. It predates the Home Alone subgenre of a pre-teen taking on bumbling robbers.
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