3+1 Short Paragraphs: Wonder Woman 1984

 2020, Patty Jenkins (Monster) -- download

Why is it that we do not like the new Wonder Woman 1984. The consensus I am seeing on the Internet, well at least my small social media circle, is that they don't hate it, but it wasn't very good. But why? Lame villain(s) ? Too long? You hate the 80s? All of the above and more?

The movie picks up in the life of Wonder Woman, Diana of Themyscira, some 40 65 years after the events of the first movie - I always have to remind myself it was World War I, not II. Steve Trevor is still dead, and she still mourns his loss. But she still super hero's on, this time saving the shoppers in a mall from some badly dressed, downright incompetent jewelry store robbers. The store was actually a front for an illegal art & relics dealer, and the robbers are stealing something very important to the main Bad Guy of the movie, Max Lord. It was this opening scene, as well as the setup with Lord, that I realized I wouldn't like this movie very much. The 80s clichés are schlock are so prevalent, it was almost as if this movie wanted to be nothing more than a remake of the TV series. Does that mean the new Batman movie is going to be another remake of the 60s Batman series? I mean, it worked for Tim Burton's movie, so it would work again, right? It did not work for this movie.

Max Lord wants the magic McGuffin so he can look competent in the eyes of his son. I don't think that's possible, as Pedro Pascal really sells us on how much of a loser Lord is. Does he actually put on a mild latino accent, to show that Lord is trying to hide his? He did not sound like Pascal to me. The McGuffin also gives Kristen Wiig's schlumpy but lovable Ms Minerva some Wonder Womanish powers. To be honest, I know very little about Wonder Woman mythology, but that she killed Max Lord, and it changed her character forever -- she doesn't kill Max Lord here. I didn't not know that Barbara Minerva was a villain named Cheetah, so to be honest, I thought she was going to somehow embody the goddess Minerva, the Roman version of Athena. She doesn't and only briefly gets all feline. Diana uses the power of Being a Good Person to save the world from Max Lord.

Oh, I should also mention that they bring back Steve Rogers Trevor. The McGuffin grants wishes, and it tosses the soul of Steve into the body of a poor schlub. Seriously? What happens to that poor guy while Trevor is hijacking his body? It was just horrible and that guy, despite terrible clothing in his closet, did not deserve that! Speaking of his closet, can someone in the know explain the puffy scarf outfit to me? It seemed to be an injoke I did not get.