T&K's Xmas (2020) Advent Calendar: Day 11 - The Christmas House

 
The Story: (I made notes as I watched)

 

Serious music starts the show... how unusual. A highly melodramatic court sequence...over-melodramatic.  This must be a TV show within the show... and it is!  "Handsome Justice" (starring poor man's Jake Gyllenhaal).  Oh, but the show is on the bubble, maybe cancelled, at Christmas, even though it's doing well against that "animal detective" show (which I hope we see in some side-quel project next year please).


Mom and Dad call.. it's time to resurrect "Christmas House".  I stopped paying attention for a minute but "Handsome Justice" Mike Mitchell says "... but we only have two weeks to Christmas, we can't do all of that in 2 weeks."  I don't know what "all of that was, but I guess it was a lot".

Had to worry that all we were going to get from the
gay couple was holding hands at the airport

The Airport... somewhere. The lost luggage lady (clearly played by a local actress wherever this was shot) doesn't care that Mike is "Handsome Justice", just move along buddy.  Mike meets up with his brother Brandon and his husband Jake (this movie, a Hallmark movie, which never has LGTBQIAA2s representation has them walk in like it's no big deal, and it shouldn't be... but it kind of is because it's Hallmark). They're waiting on adoption news. Mike and Brandon are charming siblings, acting like real bros, competing to get to the rental agency.

 

I want that poster of what looks to be
Christopher Walken as a magician
getting zapped by Emperor Palpatine

At the house Mike Mitchell's childhood room is covered in the best generic posters "Dance Crew" "Magician", and my favourite, "Newmann".  Mike looks at a picture of himself when he was younger and it comes to life, Harry Potter style.  The first of many flashbacks to come.  Why is Dad's watch in Mike's room, that's weird.

The family gather for a slide show, with Dad providing tribute to how great mom is, before Mom breaks down the plan of action for Christmas House setup.  It's a lot and she goes through the details like they're planning a heist.

The next morning, Fake Gyllenhaal is surprised in the kitchen by one, Andi Cruz, his old magic partner from his teen years (and knowing romcoms, his obvious childhood crush).  She's at the dining room table, sipping tea. No big deal.  He's wearing a shirt two sizes too small and, I think, mom's sweatpants.  He lost his luggage just for this scene to show off his rockin' bod.  Mike and Andy have, well, not the sharpest or wittiest dialogue, but cute enough for a Hallmark.

Emptying the house for setting up "Christmas House", suddenly movers arrive? That's weird. And Andi, a real estate agent, let's it slip Mom and Dad are selling the house, (gasp, deception) so this is one last Christmas House hurrah. Mike can't let it go, but Brandon is very zen about it.

Andi's kid Noah turns up (because Andy's mom lives next door...oh the girl next door, drink!), and he's a real Milhouse.  He's also a big fan of "Handsome Lawyer" and fascinated to learn that his mom and Mike used to do magic.  Can he magic too, please please please?

Mom and Brandon have a kitchen baking trip down memory lane, and Mom hints at coming out to visit him and Jake in Arizona ... alone... without Dad.  This is all very ominous.  Mom is very sombre, Dad is trying to act like nothing is wrong.  Is she dying?  Or is Dad dying?  Or are they just getting a divorce? It's a Christmas House Mystery.

Mike goes Christmas tree shopping with Andi, learns she's divorced (Bazinga!). Fake Gyllenhaal explains the celebrity lifestyle is mainly just early casting calls after even earlier morning workouts and then being in bed by 9.  Not so glamorous.  What's it all for, Mike asks...then a phone call...Handsome Justice is cancelled..unless his agent can work some holiday magic.

Are they just setting up Christmas House?  No,
man, those boys are playing dollhouse

Mom's Flashback to Christmas House of times past finds Mom and Dad all kissy kissy, grossing out the boys who are playing with a doll house.  I say it again, the boys are playing with a Doll House.  That's flat out awesome! I love it.

Majestic Mike and Awesome Andi used to put on shows for the Christmas House open house… young Noah wants to learn a trick and be like his tv hero and perform at this year's Christmas House, but also ask a girl in his class to be his partner.  Teach him your "Handsome Justice" ways Mike!

Brandon and Jake have a tense talk about about their stress, but they work through it and have a sweet smooch that could have been framed just a little more romantically by getting a wider shot with the Christmas lights in frame, but hey, a natural gay couple in Hallmark...it's progress... for Hallmark (such a low bar)

Mom is really such a bummer right now.

Andi is struggling against the big dog real estate agent in town.  Mike offers to put some celebrity credit behind her...she politely declines.  Mike then gets a call that he has to do an ad read later, and he tries the lines out on Andi. It's a pretty fun moment.

Stranger Danger, Noah, Stranger Danger!

Mike takes Noah to the magic shop, and it looks exactly like a Hallmark pop up shop (like they set it up in 2 hours and they'll tear it down in one).  The Magician speaks in a fakey British accent and looks the poor man's John Rhys Davies.

Fake Gyllenhaal takes it upon himself to make an ad for Andi's real estate business and brings Noah into the mix.  The kid's a natural performer. It's pretty charming. But Andi still wants to do it herself.

Mike and Brendan talk about Andy and maybe Mike getting a second shot with her...then they have a playful brother fight.

Everyone gathers to make cookies and gingerbread houses. But Mom is sad (you're bumming me out Mom), and Mike finds out Mom and Dad are drifting apart now that they're both retired, they seem to want different things, so they're moving into separate residences after Christmas.  Woah, this Hallmark got heavy.

Mom and dad have an equally heavy conversation.. "the perfect Christmas isn't going to solve our problems".

This christmas dessert brought to you by Tim Hortons

Andi's mom makes a dinner for everyone...by my estimation it's just tamales and Timbits but I wasn't paying too close attention.  Everyone seems satisfied though.  Good job Andi's mom.

Flashback to late teenage Mike and Andy who look nothing like modern day Mike and Andi, and the moment where Mike tried to make a move on Andi, with a magic trick that failed. Andy takes off and hangs with a guy she then started dating. Back in non-dreamland Andy turns up with news of a potential buyer for the house.

Mike has "caught feelings" and throws a little mini tantrum, when Brendan shares that he and Jake have had three adoptions fall through already so he's found peace in the pain or something rather astute like that.

Turns Not Rhys Davies from the magic shop is the prospective buyer of the fabled Christmas House, interrupting Mom and Dad's difficult chat about how Mom (recently retired) wants the changes Dad has already made (retired a few years ago), and it's clear she's the one calling the shots in this separation. Fake Gyllenhaal tries to ward off Not Rhys Davies, to Andy's disapproval.  He makes it up with dinner, where they explore why they didn't work out in high school, sort of.  Mike always seems to get a call when they're talking. Maybe "Handsome Justice" isn't so cancelled.

The big Christmas House celebration on Christmas Eve is now going to act also as an open house to see if they get any better offers than what Not Rhys Davies put in...but Mike's agent calls (again) and she needs him in New York to meet with the network...on Christmas Eve. Oh no! That's when Noah is doing his magic show.  Oh, Mike's feelings!

Well, hey, suddenly Mom and Dad are buying a fix-er-upper on the Hudson and staying together (I think I missed a key moment).  Jake (remember him?  Brandon's husband...?) gets a call... they're having a baby...well receiving a baby. Two great newses all of a sudden.  You did it Christmas House!  Well done!

Just one room in Christmas House

Fake Gyllenhaal goes to New York and finds out the guy who wanted to cancel "Handsome Justice" is now gone but they need to freshen up the show, but all Mike wants is to get back to Andi looking hot in a turtleneck and Noah's magic show...and he gives a handsome man speech to get out of the meeting.  It's pretty handsome...but, like, TV handsome, not movie handsome.

Christmas House is actually a pretty nifty tour, honestly it does look magical...I wouldn't mind visiting Christmas House.

Not Rhys Davis returns to the open house and drops an ALL CASH offer in their laps (he's making meth on the side because there's no way magic is paying for that house in cash...did you see his car???) and Mike somehow made it back in record time from the city.

Not quite the trunk scene in Out Of Sight, but
still, pretty sexy conditions , if you ignore the old man
in the Santa suit on the other side of the panel

The magic montage is less spectacular than Christmas House, but Mike and Andi get in the magic box and it would've been really sexy if only Dad wasn't there in a Santa costume. They kiss a short while under the mistletoe after Mike says he's staying.

Mom and Dad have a sweet moment and a pleasant on screen kiss themselves.

On Christmas, Andi has a new offer on the house and it's from Mike.  "Handsome Justice" is spinning off in New York so he can commute (how do you spin off the lead of a show into a separate show?)  Then there's a montage of next year's happy Christmas... Mom and Dad's awesome new house (I guess, I didn't actually see it), Brandon + Jake + Baby, and Mike and Andi and Noah as a family.

It all ends with Mike's body spray ad which had no lawyer jokes which was very disappointing.  They clearly didn't let Fake Gyllenhaal ad lib.

The Draw:

I really wanted to see what Hallmark was doing to show some Pride this year.  Turns out, just a notch above bare minimum.  Maybe two.  It's progress, but so far to go still.

The Formulae:
Hrm... big city person goes back to small town home to find love with a childhood sweetheart/unrequited childhood love... who is a single mom AND the girl next door.  Bingo!  The single mom angle affords the lead the opportunity to bond with their kid and see what they were really missing in busy big city life was a family. Cotton batting as snow.  Christmas tree shopping. Kiss under mistletoe. Lots of hot chocolate.

Unformulae:
Gay sibling. Gay kiss. Gay couple adoption talk.  Mom and Dad separating.  These all feel new.  Andy is Latinx, but the show uses that side of her even less than it uses Brandon and Jake.

True Calling?
The titular Christmas House certainly pays off in the end, in a way that Hallmark movies rarely ever do.  Good job, loved that Christmas House.  Seems like an insane things to do, but it'd be truely awesome if people actually did that for their small town communities.  And they do

The Rewind:
I could watch Fake Gyllenhaal do his ad libbed deoderant line readings over and over... genuine laughs.  Even the fake out courtroom cold open is really fun. 

The Regulars:
Robert Buckley (Fake Gyllenhaal/Mike), busy TV actor from many many things, most of which I've never heard of (except iZombie and One Tree Hill both of which he was a regular on), has been in a couple of Hallmarks over the past two years - The Christmas Contract and Love in Store, so while he's not new, he's still a novice...and yet he co-wrote the script on this which may explain why it plays so differently that the usual Hallmark.  But then I also heard there was turnover at the head of Hallmark and things in general may be different now.

This looks to be the first Hallmark for Banshee's Ana Ayora (Andi), so she's not sleepwalking through it yet.  She'll be back for more I'm sure.  She's good.

Cake Wars host Jonathan Bennett has been the straight lead romantic hunk in more than a few past Hallmarks and a few knock-off holiday romance movies.  Also, probably best known as the lead hunk in Mean Girls. Fun fact, he apparently was proposed to on the set of this movie by his partner.  Aww.  Hopefully his track record with Hallmark gets him to be the first gay male lead character in one of these holiday romances (from Hallmark...Lifetime put up a gay holiday romance this year, which may pop up in the advent calendar later on).

Yup, that's Treat Williams playing Dad (Bill Mitchell is his name, apparently).  He's also in Dolly Parton's Christmas on the Square over at Netflix this year (not sure if that'll show up in the advent calendar),  and he was in HM's Rocky Mountain Christmas back in 2017, so not a regular, but not a stranger.

Sharon Lawrence is also no stranger to the Hallmark, playing the mom in Merry & Bright which I watched last year, in Poinsettias for Christmas in 2018, and Hearts of Christmas in 2016.

How does it Hallmark?
Honestly, I liked it.  I would watch this again.  I would say that puts it in the all-time top 10 for sure.

 
How does it movie?
Everyone had good chemistry.  Mike and Andy had real sparks.  Mike and Brandon had a real brotherly vibe.  Mom and Dad's story was very grounded, and it was handled in a very natural, undramatic way, which I appreciated.  I bought Mike as an actor, but also his conflicted desire to have both a "normal life" while still maintain a job he really loves.  I really wanted Hallmark to commit to a lead gay romance this year, but this is all we get. It's not bad for ancillary, but not great given Hallmark's track record.  There were opportunities for some really terrific romantic moments (Brandon and Jake's kiss, sweet, but poorly framed for big romance, and Mike and Andy in the magic box with the light peeking through the star cutouts was very sexy, but as noted not so sexy that Mike's dad was there too).  And Christmas House, really was pretty awesome..but that all said, no, still not a real movie.  A very good, enjoyable TV Christmas movie, but nothing like a real properly budgeted cinematic picture.