T&K's XMas (2020) Advent Calendar: Day 7 - The Princess Switch 2: Switched Again

A Toast to Hallmarkent: The Princess Switch 2: Switched Again
 2020, d. Mike Rohl

The Story:

When last we left the Princess Switch, Stacy (the baker from Chicago) was married to Prince Edward making her Princess of Belgravia.  Lady Margaret Delacourt, duchess of Montenero, (Edward's ex-fiancee and somehow identical twin to Stacy) meanwhile had fallen in love with Stacy's business partner Kevin, was adored by his young daughter Olivia, and there was insinuation that he was going to propose.

Well, it's two years on and Stacy has been keeping busy in her princessly duties, too busy in fact, such that Edward is feeling ignored.  Stacy's just so worried about her twin not-sibling Margaret who has, as a result of the death of her uncle, and abdication of her cousin, become Montenero's Queen-in-Waiting.  Because of her new royal responsibility, she and Kevin broke up, and it's causing Stacy to fret.  With the coronation a few days away (on Christmas, naturally), Stacy thinks there's one last opportunity to get Kevin and Margaret back together.

Back in Chicago, at Kevin's bustling, pre-COVID bakery (where Stacy is a silent partner), the goodies are in total demand, and Olivia is child labor working the register.  Kevin (who sports a real beard throughout the whole movie appears to have a fake beard in this scene for some reason) looks like hot garbage, wearing sweatpants and a dumpy sweater to bake in.  He looks unhygenic, quite frankly.  They should have CGIed in flies and stink lines.  Stacy mocks his post-breakup misery and implores him to come to Margaret's coronation.  Just close up your busy shop that is probably the only way you make money and fuck off to royal gaga land (but if you can land a Queen then you don't need to worry about money, so maybe it's a gamble worth taking).  Also, Olivia didn't mail the RSVP declining as her dad had asked her to.

In Montenero, the gang all arrives together, and Margaret's palace is looking pretty drab for almost-Christmas.  The dust covers are still on virtually everything.  So, the gang (and the ample staff of the palace) decorate the shit out of the place.  It's completely overblown and excessive and it looks festive as fuck in there (two "fucks" already, what's up with me today).  Seriously, Margaret's bedroom is more festive than a Santa Claus parade.  Then Margaret and Kevin are left to go make hot chocolate for everyone (and by everyone I mean only the main cast, surely the legion of staff who did the majority of the work get no hot chocolate...hot lemon water at best).  Kevin cracks a joke about how Margaret has probably never even been in this kitchen, and she gets him back by looking in the oven and saying "oh, all the food is gone".  Actor Nick Sagar has to do so much fake laughing and fake enjoyment of trite things in this film...you can see a little bit of his soul die with every smile and half-laugh.  Things escalate when Margaret drops a bag of flour on Kevin's face and it devolves into a "we have servants to clean this shit up" flour fight (where Vanessa Hudgens keeps throwing the flower in Nick Sagar's face but he's obviously been instructed to avoid her makeup and hair because he throws it only at her chest).  

They get a little closer but are interrupted when  Margaret must go see her chief of staff, Count Antonio Rossi, who, you can tell from the first second on screen is a real jag. And most definitely not Italian.  Margaret has known him forever, and now he's making eyes at her, professing his interest in ruling by her side.  Ugh, he's slimy and gross.  But he's an effective approximation of a Disney princess cartoon villain in real life.

At an evening event, Kevin and Margaret start to dance (Kevin: "lets show them how it's done".  End result: nothing at all spectacular), and they have a moment, but they're once again interrupted, this time by Margaret's cousin ("cuzzy"), the posh and flamboyant Lady Fiona Pembroke (Hudgens again).  It was all trite, cliched b.s. trying to get lapsed lovers back together until Fiona shows up, and suddenly the movie (20 minutes in) is laid bare... three Vanessa Hudgens?!?  There's going to be some triple switching happening.

Well yes.  First Stacy wants to switch with Margaret to give her some quality alone time with Kevin, hopefully rekindling the romance.  Margaret is reluctant but Olivia, Frank (Edward's chief aide) and Mrs. Donatelli (Margaret's chief aide) are all on board for the Princess Switch again.  But there's triple trouble, since Lady Fiona is pretty much broke, so she and her two dimwit lackeys (Reggie and Mindy) scheme to switch places with Margaret just long enough for the coronation and to take a respectable half of her fortune before going off to some tropical paradise where there's no extradition treaty.

To fast forward through all of the shenanigans, Edward has a heart-to-heart with Stacy-as-Margaret,  Olivia distracts Edward from the switch with Christmas Eve shopping, Margaret and Kevin build snowmen which is all it takes to profess love for each other again, Fiona switches places with Stacy who she thinks is Margaret, but when Margaret returns to switch back with Stacy, Fiona keeps up the Margaret act and calls her the imposter.  She totally can't believe that worked (nor can anyone watching), as Margaret backs off.  Then Fiona-as-Margaret tells Kevin off and send him packing on a late evening run to the Montenero airport on Christmas Eve, although the weird magical old man from the last movie turns up as the cab driver.  Why? I dunno.  

Anyway, Margaret regroups with Edward, Frank and Mrs. Donatelli (who Fiona fired...on Christmas Eve... after two decades of service... seriously...and there was nothing suspicious about that unprompeted, out-of-character action?  C'mon!) and they plot to rescue Stacy, who kind of escapes on her own, leading to Edward punching out Reggie (with Frank assisting with a well-timed judo chop).  Fiona-as-Margaret encounters Antonio (sigh) and he's onto her right away (she has a damn tattoo on her finger ffs!).  Turns out Antonio, despite being a count, is broke too, so they hatch a scheme to step up the coronation to late Christmas Eve, rob the kingdom blind and he takes a cut.

But they're busted. Antonio gets arrested and Margaret and co rush off to the airport to stop Kevin from leaving. She's the almost-damn-queen of Montenero...no security is going to hold her up from chasing after her man who is getting ready to board a plane.  They get married by a priest who's about to miss his flight to London, because Kevin was actually going to ask her last summer and still carries the ring everywhere he goes. Fiona, meanwhile, was kind of left unattended at the church, so she makes a run for it, with a couple of crown jewels to show for it.

The coronation happens, the Aldovian Christmas Prince and princess and royal baby from that other Netflix movie series are there, and Margaret looks amazingly queenly (not quite the same budget as The Crown happening here, but inspiration taken for sure).  Ah, but looks like Fiona got caught and was escorted to the coronation by the police.  And Boss Nass holds up the glowing orb and shouts "peace"! Now all the Moteneroids and Gungans live happily ever after.

PS. There's no discussion, at all, about what's happening with Kevin's bakery in Chicago.  Don't worry Kevin, it's going to get shut down for COVID concerns in 4 months anyway.  Go live in your wife's estate and be happy.

The Draw:
I watched the first one and enjoyed it for its differences from the usual Hallmark/Lifetime fare, so I watched this one...remembering early on that it's not *that* different from the usual Hallmark/Lifetime fare.

The Formulae:
Stupid misundertandings because people don't frickin' talk to one another.  Playfully romantic(?) food fight.  Grownups, without any children around, building snowmen (and women...snowpeople).  The race to the airport. The gross, manipulative third party trying to snake his way between the romantic couple.

Unformulae:
All that, cheap boring action, and role switching.

True Calling?
It's true, the princess did switch again.

The Rewind:
They actually do a very shrewd job with the body doubles that you think you see multiple Hudgens in the same scene more often than you ever do.

The Regulars:
Almost the entire cast is the same from the last one.  Van Hudg is actually really great, crafting three distinct characters and making them play very well in disguise as the other ones.  It's kinda fun.

How does it Hallmark?
More engaging the the usual Hallmark fare, but that's not saying to much.  Much, much, much better production values.  Crowd scenes look crowded, the palace and decorations are gorgeous, the costuming is more than just H&M wear, and looks really really good.  Wigs and makeup are great (don't see to many wigs in Hallmark, do ya?) particularly in helping Van Hudg define her three personas.

How does it movie?
It's tough.  Van Hudg is so damn charming she makes almost anything worth watching...and yet this one's a bit of a mess.  It doesn't spend enough time with any of its plots to really make them stand out...the switch and double switch seem forced and really doesn't last all that long... the story relies upon people being oblivious when they should be more astute... and the contrivances are often too, too much.  I don't like that the stakes of the big evil switching plan was really just Kevin and Margaret's relationship.... there should have been grander stakes involving the well-being of the country...but then the typical audience for these things just wants the lightest and fluffiest escapist fare.