Back with a legit actual Hallmark movie that aired this year.
Next day Sammie arrives at New Job to ... wise crack from me, "Is she arriving just in time to find everyone being fired?") ... everyone being fired. WTF, did we see this movie before? No, it just came out. Is this a common opening of Hallmarky movies, that I saw one begin this way already? Its going to bug me until I remember what other movie began this way. Anywayz, yup Sammie's new company has been acquired by ... BF Will ! The deal he rushed off to finish was this one! But he kept her job! But he's the new boss! Sammie is very very upset, and instead of taking some time to think about it, she quits on the spot and pseudo-dumps Will. Now she can go home for Xmas.
She hasn't been home for about a decade, and she left behind an ex, with baggage (take a shot). Widowed mom (take a shot) lives in a massive house in a town in upstate NY that is on hard times. Mom doesn't work so Dead Dad must have been quite the bread winner. Maybe Mom was, and has since retired? Who are you kidding -- this is Hallmarky Land. Anywayz, Mom welcomes her with open arms and invites Sammie to participate in the group event (take a shot) -- baking cookies for a drive to help out the local food bank.
Enter Noah, the owner of the local cafe, and her ex. She abandoned him years ago to run away to the Big City to capture her dreams of being a business person in the Big City. Considering how little this movie understands her actual job, I am sure that was the exact extent of her dreams. But she dumped nice guy hunk Noah, and despite being a nice guy, he has never really forgiven her. But despite this baggage, Mom shoves them into each other's faces and thus begins the usual Xmas Hallmarky fare.
Like many of these movies, Noah doesn't seem to need to actually run his cafe. While not having any staff, and stating clearly he is still recovering from having hit hard times not too long ago, he is constantly running off to assist Sammie in whatever goal her mother has set for her. They all end up centering around the local Food Bank that has hit SUCH hard times, it has about half a dozen cans on the shelf. And the cookies they were baking, which I though was supposed to be part of some funding drive, are just dropped off at the Bank. Yep, no turkeys or pasta staples or canned goods or .... anything ... but they have COOKIES !
But Sammie comes up with a plan. If people are going to come by the Food Bank during Xmas season, it will need to look the part. So she comes up with the idea of rubbing in the fact that the people who rely on the Food Bank cannot afford to do actual shopping, so they will setup the Bank like an Xmas fair with stalls where people can drop by and grab food, and toys and such. Nice idea but where will the food come from, if no one is donating? BING, truck at the back door, "Sammie, you must have friends in high places!" Honestly, while they didn't say it out loud, I assumed she just bought everything.
So Food Bank Xmas is a success, all the patrons are happy and celebrating and get the food they desperately need; for maybe a week. But no, SUCCESS ! And Sammie and Noah have reconciled over all this, given he never really felt out of love with her.
Things are All Right With the World, when suddenly BF Will shows up. He is still not sure where they are, but understands why she was so upset, so appears with rather a sweet gesture. He has lined up an interview with a prestigious non-profit, as he remembers her actually wanting to work in such places when they first got together. One catch; she has to run back to NYC for the interview on Xmas Eve. Would you want to work for a company that needs to interview you on Xmas Eve? Enter Paul Sun-Hyung Lee as interviewer.
Instead of accepting incredible job, she says no and rushes back to PST (picturesque small town, in case you forgot) to be with Noah and Mom and accept a job at the Food Bank. Cuz, you know, a min wage job at a local Food Bank will so much more make up for the years of working in Business. Sigh.
The Draw: Honestly, because Paul Sun-Hyung Lee mentioned on Twitter that he was in it, and that he had a ball doing it. But I got faked out. His role is a bit part at the most, more a cameo than anything.
The Formulae: Given that this is pure, unadulterated Hallmark, it fits so many of the tropes! Picturesque Small Town, small town girl who has gone to the Big City but things aren't working out, Widowed Mom, Ex-BF left behind in PST, Xmas Event, hell, it even has a Xmas Tree sale lot. One of the less recognized tropes, but more of the economic bracket they always take place in, Mom's house is absolutely massive and beautiful. And everyone's white, but for the Token Black Friend and the pretty Asian Girl who is vying for the affection of Noah.Unformulae: Well, its true to formula, so really the break down comes in the lack of chemistry between the leads. Sammie is cute enough, sort of a young Jennifer Grey before the nose-job, and to be completely honest, Lengies played the snooty Big City Girl better than Jennifer Grey did in The Road to Christmas. I waffled between finding her cute & charming, to finding her entirely annoying. Like when they do the Xmas Cookie baking, wherein she states very clearly that she is terrible at it, we are supposed to see her still relish in the attempt with comedic effect. But Sammie comes off at just being annoyed at ever being roped into the situation, actually bowing out on doing anything but a icing the cookies, which she fails miserably at. The movie does seem to want us to see she just doesn't fit back into her small town vibe anymore, which is contradictory considering that is always the End Goal to all these movies -- send the poor girl home!
True Calling? This title is only in reference to the event at the Food Bank, which Sammie thinks is the perfect name for the One Night Only resurrection of the Food Bank. Again, doing a good deed for the Food Bank is nice and all, but there are still 364 days of being fucking hungry people. So, once this place is cleared out, I am sure there is no Heart to these Holidays.
The Rewind: Gawddamn it with these movies and there shooting-in-summer schedules. I had to stop the movie, and rewind, to point out to the Peanut Galley how obvious the fake snow was. The current trend is these sheets of cotton batting laid down like a decent layer of snow. But if you look at the edges, you CAN SEE THE GREEN GRASS PEEKING OUT. Also, if its so cold that you need Hot Chocolate to warm up with, you should be able to see your breath. Bleah.
The Regulars: Other than Bill Lake & Jayne Eastwood, who play the Cute Old Couple, I don't recognize any faces. Does small town ontario playing the role of PST count?
How does it Hallmark? Its pretty clearly a Hallmarky formula movie, but I ended up so not liking the leads, that it didn't draw me in. Also the cognitive dissonance was so prevalent, that I ended up re-writing the movie in my head, as I was watching, just after they introduced Marina, the cute Asian girl who runs the local bookstore, and is shyly showing interest in Noah. Instead of the movie following the formula, I saw it do a swing, like a literal camera swing, to begin seeing things from her view. So, instead of Noah hooking up with the snooty Big City Girl who has come back home for the Holidays and thinks she can just win him back with her cash and good looks, Marina has to show Noah that she actually cares about this town and its people and him and SHE takes on the job of resurrecting the Food Bank with the idea of caring about it all year round.
How does it movie? No sir, I don't like it, said in my best Ren & Stimpie horse voice.
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