3+1 Short Paragraphs: In the Shadow of the Moon

2019, Jim Mickle (Stake Land) -- Netflix

Still cleaning house from the last few months, still not seeing as many movies as I feel I should (yeah, I don't understand the internal pressure either) and not at all seeing as many movies as this whole Pause is supposed to inspire in me. Unlike most people who seem to be truly madly stuck at home, I usually spend my evenings on the sofa watching too many things other than the movies I really want to be watching. Attention spans, escapism vs enrichment, flicker-itis, etc. -- no shortage of excuses, even in these trying times.

Mickle is a die hard indie style director that I just have a strong affection for. I have seen all his feature films, plus really enjoyed his adaptation of Joe R Lansdale's Hap & Leonard. Stake Land continues to be one of my favourite po-ap vampire movies. He has a rather gritty, unpolished nature to his direction which may sound demeaning, but its more about being unfettered by glitz and distracting style. The grime I associate with his imagery is personal, real. That he decided to tackle a time travelling crime story, didn't hurt my desire to see this movie.

Locke (Boyd Holbrook, Logan) is a beat cop in Philadelphia in the 80s who is trying to break the case where the victims basically melt down, blood draining everywhere. Locke insinuates himself into the investigation and ends up chasing a suspect down into the subway, where she dies, but not before providing him strange details that connects the two of them. Nine years later, now a detective, the murders begin again, ending again with Locke confronting the same killer who died nine years earlier. Nine years later, well you get the point, this is a time travel story with key points in Locke's life and how this one encounter (in 1988) completely guides the rest of his life.

Like all Mickle's work, he gives you something to think about. The story and tone reminded me of 12 Monkeys or even the newer series (no not the adaptation) Travellers. Both involve something that happens in the distant future and how time travel to the past is used to affect their horrible realities. Of course, Mickle's story is more about the trauma it affects on Locke and his extended family, until it can all be wiped away by a ripple in time. Or does it? Parallel time streams and all that...

3 Short Paragraphs: Guns Akimbo

2019, Jason Lei Howden (Deathgasm) -- download

You have to commend Daniel Radcliffe and his post-HP movie choices, as he ever continues to shed that wizard kid type-casting. He's been a romcom BF in Toronto, Igor (not eye-gor), a dead body, and even butt nekkid on stage. In this role, he's pretty much his generation: a guy in a thankless job who spends faaaaar too much time online, but at least with some benevolent flair. He's a Troll Hunter, i.e. someone who enters into chat rooms and discussion forums to go up against the boorish, insulting trolls of the Internet, with a desire to make them run away with their tails between their legs. Its commendable behaviour. In his world, which strikes me as 20 minutes into the future, the worst of online culture has evolved into an ultra-violent, ultra-illegal game where people are pitted against each other, seeking to eliminate the other permanently. Death. Perma-death. Death IRL. Yes, the online cult of personality known as Skizm has teams (or individuals) kill each other while the Internet watches. Miles (Radcliffe) gets it into his bored, drunken mind to go up against Skizm in what was probably a Discord channel, which has the worst results -- Skizm comes to HIM. The next morning, he wakes up with pistols bolted to his hand and wired to his body. Yes, guns. Now he's in the game.

Ludicrous premise, sort of a Death Race for now. But Radcliffe actually makes it work. Of course, it begins as a comedy of errors: how does he put on pants, can he tell the cops, what will the general public think of a guy running around in a bathroom literally waving gun-hands around. He is being chased by another person being manipulated by Skizm, the psychotic Nix (Samara Weaving, doing a pretty good job of being not Margot Robbie 2.0) and she is relentless. Then, Skizm makes a mistake and kidnaps Miles' ex-GF.

Sure, this movie was ridiculous. Sure, this movie was over the top. But it actually kept pure to its intent and vision, all psychedelia and lame tech commentary that it was. Miles is actually a pretty good character, in that he really doesn't want other people hurt, so he does his best to draw the bad guys away from fire whenever he can. As a film, any commentary is besides the point, for you are really just here for the violence, crass humour and inventive murder. But at least Howden does it with some style and decent flair.

I Saw This!! What I Have Been Watching: 2020 Edition: Pt. F

I Saw This (double exclamation point) is our feature wherein Kent(!) or Toasty(¡) attempt to write about a bunch of stuff they watched some time ago and meant to write about but just never got around to doing so. But every time I try not to write, bad things happen, very bad things. Somewhere. To someone.

What I Have Been (or Am) Watching is the admitted state of me spending too much time in front of the TV. And despite what I said above, I have been avoiding telling you about what I have been watching. Not that you care. But at least I am not telling you about my character

Pt A is here. Pt B is here. And Pt C. And Pt. D. Aaaaand Pt. E.

Escapism !!

Star Trek: Picard, 2020, CBS

Where do I begin on this but to say, yeah I loved it. How could I not? It's Old School tNG as well as being fresh and new, and occasionally challenging. It has completed the season now, and to be honest, that was enough. We don't need anymore. We got our fill of nostalgia, we got to see what our beloved characters were up to, for better or for worse. We got to romp around the galaxy for a bit and hear Picard say "engage" again. What more could we ask for?

Well, let me tell you, I was hoping for more. That first episode, it gave me not-quite-new-Star Wars-fanfare chills. It felt crisp and fresh and bitingly expository. Picard no longer with Star Fleet, a bitter, resentful old man, with trauma weighing heavy on him. And with good reason! The dialogue in that first episode felt so perfect for what we need now. Alas, as episodes went on and on, we fell into more familiar patterns. Sure they tossed in some swear words here and there, and some rather startling violence, but it still felt like Trek of Olde. Oh sure, I enjoyed the Hell out of it, as I was a big fan of Trek in all its incarnations. But it felt like I lost something before I could even really savour it.

So that's fine, end it with one season. I got some and I am ready for Discovery.

But before I move on, some of the Bestest of Things: Annika the Bad Ass and her quest to protect and re-integrate the ex-Bs, Elnor the Space Elf and Captain Rios of the La Sirena and his menagerie of holograms.

The Letter for the King, 2020, Netflix

From the trailers I thought this was going to be a pseudo-historical story set in Not-England or Not-Europe during some Not-Medieval period, but it turned out to be a generic Fantasy series in an entirely Not-Medieval-Europe world. And despite being a teen centered drama, it was actually rather good, if rather sanitized for adult audiences.

Based on a book by a Dutch writer, the story focuses on the young man Tiuri (sounded like Jury to me; is that how the name is pronounced in Dutch?) from the Kingdom of Dagonaut. Dagonaut supports Unauwen which has been at war with Eviellan for a thousand years. That is, until Prince Viridian took it upon himself to destroy them and end the war. Tiuri was a casualty of that war but was taken north by a kind knight, as raised as the man's son.

On the night Tiuri is supposed to become a knight himself, he is interrupted by The Black Knight with the White Shield, who dies before he can deliver a letter he intercepted, a letter from Viridian to people he trusted, a letter that CANNOT reach his father the King. The dying knight charges Tiuri with delivery and off he goes on mounted on the real hero of the series, Ardweden the horse.

Tiuri has a destiny, or so everyone seems to think when they run into him. There is a prophecy that a darkness will rise and only a child of the light can stop it. Tiuri doesn't really care for the idea of destiny, and it doesn't help that his fellow novice knights are chasing him down. The real story picks up when he gets saddled, literally, with the daughter of a disreputable town mayor on her way to find HER life's goal.

Magic, sword fights, Destiny and black wearing bad guys -- this was the generic fantasy I needed right now. It wasn't as juvenile as it could have been, but not as edgy as it wanted to be -- it was no successor to Game of Thrones. But I don't think it should have tried to be. It did go as expected, except for one wonderful turn of events when Tiuri's destiny turns out a little different.

Zoey's Infinite Extraordinary Playlist, 2020, NBC

Sorry Nick & Norah.

Not yet done with the season, but almost there, is the sometimes uneven, sometimes a little lost, but altogether charming and entirely delightful ZEP, but I might be a bit biased, as Jane Levy's Zoey does make me more than a bit swoony.

In this series, that lends itself to the world that Glee left behind, Zoey sees and hears people's inner most thoughts through song and dance. Basically they break into musical routines right in front of her, but only she can see them. She, along with her Fabulous neighbour Mo, learns more about the roles of this "superpower" and uses it to help those around her, including her father, a man dying from a disease that has him mostly locked-in. Zoey is also the newest Programmer Manager in a very very San Fran software company, so she has many challenges to deal with besides hearing pop songs she really doesn't know and the emotional backgrounds behind them.

The pilot nailed the story & characters down, but then ages later, the following episodes softened them to focus on other elements of her life. But enough of the core plot exists in every episode to carry me on every week. And again *ahem* Jane Levy. She's quirky (her entire trendy decorated apartment is computer references) and amiable, awkward but confident and did I mention charming? Her coworkers and computer software company might not be at all realistic, but we can leave that to Silicon Valley -- this is just a backdrop for her weird coworkers and experiences. In the end, I pretty convinced she has a tumor, but who knows, it might just end up being Modern Magical.

See, 2019-2020, Apple+ TV

On the only recently released Apple company Online Only TV network (cuz everyone has one these days) there was only one pure scifi series -- Jason Momoa's post-apocalyptic series about a world where a plague spread *cough* leaving anyone who survived blind, as well as their ancestors. In this now tribal world, the few with sight are king. Or so the Queen believes, and therefore will stop at nothing to destroy. Momoa is a warrior and tribal leader who takes in a pregnant stranger and ends up raising her children as his own. And in doing so, pretty much destroys his village.

Set in the Pacific north west, like so many other scifi shows, its quite the (ironic, I know) beautiful looking po-ap world, all overgrown and green. Everything about the world is sound and touch. You wouldn't think they could have warriors or ride horses, but somehow, probably hundreds of years after the fall of civilization, they do. I didn't complete the series, as a number of other shiny things appeared, but I will. I am enjoying it, even if it doesn't bring light to my world.
His Dark Materials, 2019, HBO

3 Short Paragraphs: Christopher Robin

2018, Marc Forster (World War Z) -- download

OK, we go from Ewan McGregor wearing a black mask, fancy suits as a bad guy, to Ewan McGregor all grown up & married to Agent Carter. And having abandoned Pooh and Hundred Acre Wood. I am not sure who was more the villain but I am leaning more towards Mr. Robin, the efficiency expert for a luggage company tasked with cutting staff. During hard times, you have to make hard decisions. I am sure my own management could be helped if only they had the assistance of their childhood imaginary friends, who are (SPOILER !!), in fact quite real.

Pooh wakes up one day out of honey, and Hundred Acre Wood is a mess, so he sets out to find out where his friends and/or Christopher Robin might be, cuz they can help. He goes through Christopher Robin's door and finds himself in a park across from Mr. Robin's flat. In a world that must be alternate-universe adjacent to Paddington Pooh is real for everyone and Hundred Acre Wood seems to be in a pocket universe. In London, he causes trouble for Christopher Robin until the man agrees to return with him for another adventure.

The movie is rather melancholy, all about our loss of childhood innocence & sense of adventure due to Reality Taking Over. His life was overtaken by a World War (II) and while our current trauma is not whatsoever comparable, it does seem to come with its own similarities. If anything, where Christopher Robin was able to generate a balance of Succeeding at Work with Being with Family, I wonder if all of us being forced to be at home with them might be detrimental? Maybe all we need is some stuffed buddies to remind us of what is really, truly important.

Kent's brief take.

3 Short Paragraphs: Zombieland 2: Double Tap

2019, Ruben Fleischer (Venom) -- download

I suppose we cannot be going through The Pause without making some commentary on a zombie movie and how we are just this shy of it Being the Reason Why. And considering I already ReWatched the cliche for these times, that is Contagion, back in December when this was all new, why not this movie. I am still not over the video from China with the kids being shoved into a box on the back of a truck while she screams.

So, first movie, a brilliant commentary on zombie flicks and how to survive hem. It's funny, well paced and innovative. But that was 10 years ago. We will forget there was a failed attempt at a TV show -- it was terrible. So, did we need another movie, a sequel? No, we didn't, but a bit more of the first, as well as seeing where the characters and the world are 10 years later, as long as it's the original cast and director, is not as bad of an idea.

The thing is, yeah, one was enough. It's not that this movie is bad, as it really does just present more of the same, if a little amped up in the ridiculous nature of this particular zombie apocalypse, it's that it really needed to just do more. Sure, they kicked things off at the White House, with our mains moving in and taking over, but it has been ten years; they didn't really seem to age. You would think more about them would change beyond... aging. So fun popcorn movie, burped and forgotten.

Oh look, I actually did three SHORT paragraphs. Wonders never cease.

3+1 Short Paragraphs: Once Upon a Time ... in Hollywood

2019, Quentin Tarantino (Reservoir Dogs) -- download

During The Pause, I hope to be watching more movies than I usually do, given that I will be shaving the commute off my day, and while I don't go out very often, as it is, I will be going out even less. So, more time to watch schtuff  I feel I should be watching? No? Time will be wasted? Of course it will, but at the very least, I can dig into cleaning out the every aging back-list for this blog. Or, at some point, all those entries will have to be tossed into an I Saw!! But, for now, let's see which ones I can get to and which new ones I will actually sit down for.

So, my only (really? REALLY?) Oscar contender -- OUaTiH. Tarantino used to be That Director that guys like me, guys that claimed to be Movie Buffs, gravitated towards. He typified the Indie Director, set the tone for Better Action Movies and had utterly killer dialogue. He was also a big movie fan, and that seeped into every single movie he made. As the years went by, and I lessened in my dedication to this thing and I didn't rush to his movies nor had a strong opinion about most. But this one, I had a sense I would really like, as most people were describing it as long (2.5+ hours) and drawn out. Usually which bores others, I get enthralled in. And I was right, just about everything that most people didn't enjoy about this movie, primarily Brad Pitt driving around Hollywood, was exactly what I loved. But as a whole, I am not entirely sure I loved the movie. I hated the ending.

Rick Dalton (Leonardo DiCaprio, Inception) is an aging, almost entirely washed up action TV star,  remembered mostly for his long running TV show Bounty Law. It is 1969, the end of another era where Rick reigned. He is challenged with finding new, meaningful work, but he still has his best friend and stunt man Cliff Booth (Brad Pitt, 12 Monkeys) on the payroll, to drive him around and basically play valet & confident. In the world around them, Sharon Tate is a rising star and the Manson Family have moved onto the Spahn Ranch. Tate & Roman Polanski have moved into the house up the lane from Rick. Worlds will collide.

So, I was not kidding that most of this movie is Cliff driving around. Sometimes he is driving Rick around, sometimes he is just killing time until he has to drive Rick around again. Cliff doesn't really have a life if Rick isn't working, or if Rick hasn't convinced people to let Cliff on the project. While Rick moans and groans in his fancy house below Polanski's, Cliff lives in a crappy trailer. But he doesn't seem bitter, maybe just satisfied to live In Hollywood for as long as he can. I loved the retrospective on an era of Hollywood, maybe not one of most classically famous but one that had quite the rep, especially when the Mason Family got mixed up in it. Obviously this last thing pissed Tarantino off to no end, as he performed another Rewriting of History, as he did in Inglourious Basterds and ... well, I won't spoil it. If you haven't seen it, you really have to. Its gory, over the top and oh so Tarantino.

3+1 Short Paragraphs: Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)

2020, Cathy Yan (Dead Pigs) -- download

This is the first of probably a long series of posts about Watching During the Pause. This is a new world, a scary world, a world where studios cannot release new movies to the cinemas, so they are releasing first (or releasing early) to Online. And thus, if it's online, it can be pirated. But a lot more movies will get out there, a lot more movies will hit the services people are already signed up for, or were considering. Like I said in days past, seeing movies Online will become a thing when they make it easier to just pay & watch than figuring out a way to pirate safely.

Harley Quinn was born not of the Batman comics, but of the Batman: the Animated Series. She's The Joker's girlfriend and partner in psychotic crime, who began her career as his therapist. In the movies, she got her introduction via Suicide Squad which gathered together a bunch of Batman villains to fight and even Badder Guy. Birds of Prey started as a comic with Black Canary and Barbara Gordon / Oracle, but later expanded to include The Huntress, and even later versions included Gordon as Batgirl. I am not sure there is was ever a version that included Harley or Cassandra Cain or Renee Montoya, but the latter got her start in The Animated Series as well, so at least there is a tenuous connection. AND Cain actually is one of the Batgirls of later, so again tenuous connection. What I am getting at is that the label this movie grabbed makes no sense and I am not sure why the producers, Margot Robbie included, wanted to tie them together.

So, this is Harley (Margot Robbie, I, Tonya) post Suicide Squad and the Joker broke up with her. She's despondent, drowning her sorrows in the seedy clubs of Gotham's underground, and lacking friends. But she does have a new pet hyena named Bruce. She doesn't mean to, but ends up dragged into a plot involving Bad Guy Roman Sionis (Ewan McGrego, The Impossible), his club singer Dinah Lance (sans Ollie Queen; Jurnee Smollett-Bell, True Blood ), revenge fueled Crossbow Killer Huntress (Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Sky High) and older than your usual cop detective Montoya (Rosie Perez, Fearless). Oh, and there is a kid pickpocket who bears the name Cassandra Cain. After much rather humdrum misadventure, Harley convinces them all to team up with her to fight back against Sionis.

I went in with no malice intended against this movie. I didn't really know what to expect, beyond a bunch of psychedelic, over the top sequences focused on Margot Robbie. I wasn't sure how they were connecting her to the comic, but didn't really care. I also didn't care that this was part of the flop DC Universe. A nice stand-alone movie would be nice. Alas... sigh. It was just so very very tired and second rate. The acting was wooden, oh so painfully so for Winstead. The action scenes were ... lazy? I almost felt like I was watching cable TV. There we some fun scenes, like Harley invading the police station, and the car chase on roller skates, but beyond that I was just ... bored. Maybe its out current state of mind, maybe its the current state of the world, where maybe I need to be much further pulled out of reality to enjoy myself, but to me, this movie was even more unsatisfying than the Justice League movies that were at least pretty.

3 Short Paragraphs: Knives Out

2019, Rian Johnson (Looper) -- download

In a Whodunnit movie, everyone can potentially be the Bad Guy and the Detective is usually rather brilliant. The plot takes lots of twists & turns, constantly having us (the viewer) reevaluate who we believe the criminal to be. Never was this better turned on its head than in  Agatha Christie's Murder on the Orient Express where (SPOILER!) EVERYONE is the Bad Guy, but not. Fun, but for the most part, we like whodunnits to play out exactly as expected. So then, I am not quite sure whether Johnson intended on this being a classic whodunnit, or was he looking to play with the tropes. All I know is that outside of the vast array of incredible performances, I am not sure I was as blown away by this movie as much as everyone else seemed to be.

Harlan Thrombey (Christopher Plummer, Up), a famous crime novelist with a contentious uber-wealthy family, is found dead from apparent suicide. Given who he is, it still has to be investigated, which brings in Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig, Cowboys & Aliens), famous detective. In name, and in introduction, he is the classic (i.e. brilliant) detective, as he sits in the background during interviews, tapping a key on the piano, to denote each lie told in his presence. But that's where his brilliance ends, as he doesn't even know who hired him, let alone have any brilliant insights into who might have killed Thrombey. But the constantly contradicting stories between the family members and the very suspicious behaviour of Thrombey's attending nurse Marta (Ana de Armas, Blade Runner 2049) sends him down many rabbit holes. I found myself hand waving him aside, and trying to unravel this mystery on my own, which was probably Johnson's plan all along.

Plot-wise, I didn't find anything remarkable about this movie. Its well done. But performance-wise, it is top notch. Jamie Lee Curtis, Michael Shannon, Don Johnson, Toni Collette, Chris Evans and many others keep us attentive and focused for the entire movie. Also, the house. That house! Whodunnits are often known for their locales, the places where people can be gathered to investigate or for exposition to be presented. This house out does itself, fully displaying the life of an eccentric writer of crime fiction who made a boat-load of money, allowing himself to indulge in toooons of knick knacks, momentos and odd choices at decorating. With all these solid performances, I was quite satisfied with what I saw, despite not being as enthralled as much as critics were. If anything, I am glad Johnson got something to wash the bad taste of Star Wars out of his mouth.

I Saw This!! What I Have Been Watching: 2020 Edition: Pt. E

I Saw This (double exclamation point) is our feature wherein Kent(!) or Toasty(¡) attempt to write about a bunch of stuff they watched some time ago and meant to write about but just never got around to doing so. But every time I try not to write, bad things happen, very bad things. Somewhere. To someone.

What I Have Been (or Am) Watching is the admitted state of me spending too much time in front of the TV. And despite what I said above, I have been avoiding telling you about what I have been watching. Not that you care. But at least I am not telling you about my character

Pt A is here. Pt B is here. And Pt C. And Pt. D.

Good Guys!

I just like watching TV shows where the good guys where white hats, and the bad guys where black. Sure, I don't mind a bit of complication here and there, a bit of humanity in my non-reality, but I guess I am just not built to root for the bad guy. There may be a few exceptions but it explains why I never took to Breaking Bad, The Sopranos or The Shield. And it also explains why I continue to watch Magnum PI and The Rookie.

FBI, 2018-2020, CBS

The Dick Wolf formula (Law & Order) but applied to the FBI working out of NYC. Maggie Bell (Missy Peregrym, Van Helsing) and OA Zidam (Zeeko Zaki, 24: The Legacy) are the lead special agents / characters in this comfort food of crime fiction. Behind the scenes there is a regular cast of analysts and fellow agents, led by Jeremy Sisto and Sela Ward then Alana de la Garza. Each episode is either a murder that has impacts requiring the FBI to investigate (or politics just places them in the lead) or actual FBI stuff, like terrorism, espionage, etc. In today's fictional US crime landscape, what the FBI is mandated to investigate is fluid, so really anything can happen.

The Dick Wolf formula balances the investigation with the expansion of the characters' lives. We learn that Maggie still suffers after losing her husband to an unexplained murder, OA struggles with being a Muslim in today's America, Jubal (Sisto) is a recovering alcoholic and analyst Kristen Chazal (Ebonee Noel, Wrecked) continues to prove herself eventually being promoted to active field duty, but not without consequences.

These are good people, and it is nice to be able to approach the paranoid nature of American federal crime prevention without the cynicism of reality. This aspect of "Hollywood" has been capturing my attention of late, where in reality we fear or hate the Trump backed forces of oppression, these TV shows want to establish (at least in fiction) that they are still agents of Good.

Deputy, 2019-2020, Fox

American crime fighting organizations can be confusing. Sure, we in Ontario have the local police, the OPP (are you down with... ?) and the federal RCMP. In the US they have many many more branches, including the Sheriff's Dept. Think of sheriffs as the OPP for much of the US outside of "incorporated cities". In the LA Sheriff's Dept, the are contracted by the city, as well as the communities around the city, all inside LA county. There weirdest thing is that the Sheriff is elected, not appointed as the most appropriate. In some counties, the Sheriff may just be the best political figurehead.

In Deputy, the LA County Sheriff dies of a heart attack and Bill Hollister steps in. Bill (Stephen Dorff, Alone in the Dark) is a cowboy -- tough, gruff and more comfortable kicking down doors than playing politics. But he despises his rival, the man who expected to assume the Sheriff's role, so he keeps the job and proceeds to fight to change the internal political behaviour he observes. All the while he continues to shoot at bad guys, ride horses and constantly go where he knows he shouldn't.

I normally wouldn't enjoy this Walker, Texas Ranger style program but they have an agenda beyond romanticizing "real men" and classic American ideals; this show is definitely Left. Let's ignore that Bill has married a Mexican woman and is deep in the culture, especially as his daughter approaches her quinceañera. The episode where Bill breaks up an ICE raid because he sees himself as protecting all the citizens under his hat, even though not yet real certified as citizen. To him they were victims of a sex trafficking ring and his to protect, fuck the Federal money from ICE. Also Bill is assigned an assistant: a driver, bodyguard and someone who helps him navigate the never ending meetings he has to attend. At first, we see Bishop, a butch lesbian (Bex Taylor-Klaus, The Last Witch Hunter) but soon we learn they are in the initial stages as identifying as non-binary. Bill is visibly uncomfortable but also very VERY clear that Deputy Bishop is His People, worthy of his respect and understanding. Bill is a Good Man and the entire show is about showing us that this is what LA County needs right now.

FBI: Most Wanted, 2019-2020, CBS

Not that I generally have a lot to say about all these shows, but this one I have the least to say other than I am watching it, irregularly, in that I am downloading in batches and watching a few episodes when I don't find myself gravitating elsewhere. That aspect of my Watching is odd to me, in that there are shows I drop but shouldn't have, shows I should be watching but don't and shows I definitely shouldn't be watching but do. Well, this show, for me, is like toast. I don't have toast every night or day, despite my moniker. But when I do, I tend to sit down for four slices and a large glass of milk and just enjoy. It's comfort food, something to settle in with and let it help slide the world away. The same of this show, it not being anything grand or even bad, in the other direction, but it is something familiar, predictable and comforting.

Now, this spin-off of the main show, focuses on a team that is primarily hunting down people on the Most Wanted list. Led by the Jess LaCroix (Julian McMahon, Runaways) this squad uses skills and mainly tenacity to find people who have committed heinous crimes, usually murder or kidnapping, and gone on the run. Once the perps leave the state, these guys are called in. The little bit of personal development is left to our exploration of LaCroix, who in the field is more than a little bit of an asshole, driven and forthright, but at home, he is dealing with the death of his wife, a native American soldier who died overseas. The show is exploring the relationship between him and his daughter, and his wife's people, as she lives with her grandparents. As a reminder, his wife's brother is on his team.

The show is the thinnest of character development and a lot of people die on this one. But it follows the formula well enough to attract me over the other crimes shows like NCIS or Hawaii Five-Oh.

3 Short Paragraphs: Motherless Brooklyn

2019, Edward Norton (Keeping the Faith) -- download

I began my love for film noir (misspelled it nori which suggests a whole new sub-genre of Japanese detective flicks) when I was in high school, finding myself as the "cool kid" who liked 30s/40s black & white movies. I loved the distinctive characters, the gritty seedy urban underbellies and the period lingo. And, of course, the dames. Who doesn't love a hard-boiled mouthy dame. Now, you can do contemporary noir but something about the time period, the fedoras and trench coats, the cars and the architecture, all the etched in brownstone tropes, makes the genre more palpable. So much so, that Norton, when writing the movie (from a novel by Jonathan Lethem) he moved it back in time to the 50s.

Motherless Brooklyn follows Lionel, a gumshoe (who chews a lot of gum) working for Frank (Bruce Willis, Unbreakable). Lionel has Tourettes, which makes him a challenge to work with, but also an asset given one of his ticks is that he has to unravel things, physical objects and even plots. Early on, and in film noir this is no spoiler, Frank is killed; so Lionel takes it upon himself (donning Frank's fedora) to solve the case -- why was Frank murdered and what had he stumbled into. Lionel has to step from the shadows as Frank's comic relief support, control his personal demons and find out what is what.

If Chinatown was about water and land and people trying to control the money it makes through extortion and murder, then this movie is about "slum" demolition for the sake of NYC's expansion, and the men who benefit from it, and the (black) people who are dispossessed. It's a long, meandering movie, while staying focused on its statement that the grandeur of NYC today was built by paving over the communities of people unable to fight back. Lionel's ticks make for a memorable character, but they struck me as softened, as I always associated Tourettes with more graphic barks and explicit exultations. Meanwhile, Lionel says something mildly embarrassing or amusing, and people just smile or giggle, and then move on. The strife in race relations also seemed somewhat softened, as if Norton was afraid to write some of the truly harsh realities black people would have had to deal with, and likely still do. Everyone, even the bad guys, seemed reasonable or even affable. Maybe after the slap in the indifferent face of Watchmen, I want to be truly challenged by race relations stories. Make me feel bad, not just kind of agreeing that in order for NYC to become as we see it now, someone had to pay.

I Saw This!! What I Have Been Watching: 2020 Edition: Pt.D

I Saw This (double exclamation point) is our feature wherein Kent(!) or Toasty(¡) attempt to write about a bunch of stuff they watched some time ago and meant to write about but just never got around to doing so. But every time I try not to write, bad things happen, very bad things. Somewhere. To someone.

What I Have Been (or Am) Watching is the admitted state of me spending too much time in front of the TV. And despite what I said above, I have been avoiding telling you about what I have been watching. Not that you care. But at least I am not telling you about my character

Pt A is here. Pt B is here. And Pt C.

I realised right this moment, that the top paragraph insinuates that I watched some of these items A Long Time Ago (In a Galaxy...) but for some, that is just not so. Luckily the second paragraph does have an Am Watching, so ... still accurate!

Food!

For example, the latest series of The Chef Show just started and we are watching episodes as the last thing before bed. We realized that watching them earlier in the night, or (!!!) before having supper, was detrimental to our well-being. Just seeing such grand, yummy dishes being enjoyed by people makes me hungry. And envious. So, just before bed, when I am already satiated, is just a coping mechanism.

The Chef Show, Netflix

I love the movie Chef. It's probably the only non-genre movie I should have on The Shelf, unless you want to consider food a genre. Roy Choi was the consulting chef for the movie, and taught Jon everything he knew to be a proper chef; in the movie. They started as co-workers but they fast became friends, and the two continue the journey, Jon learning from Roy, always.

Roy Choi made his name as the guy who brought Korean Tacos to the world, and also, created this current idea of food trucks (chic, trendy, novel food choices). He was a classically trained chef who went down a different road, and succeeded, creating a legacy that, like craft beer, will never go away, even after the craze tapers. Jon, with his success at Marvel, built a show with Roy, one that spins off the movie in the first season, but is really about their friendship and the tutelage Jon receives from Roy.

I love watching people love food. Because I love food, which is still a weird thing to say considering I was such a picky eater as a kid. I am still a guy ruled by his exceptions to food: my sensitivities to nuts & seafood, my dislike of some textures and smells (banana! ick!) but I still love seeing people enthralled by food, even if I could not enjoy it. This new wave of food TV, where it's not about competition nor recipes, but about the experience and social encounters is gravy on the french fries to me.

Earlier seasons had the two in the kitchen revisiting recipes from the movie, or working through favourite dishes with other celebrities. Some episodes visited the kitchens / restos of chefs that Roy knows & respects. And some episodes were just toss away, only existing because of a celebrity Jon knows -- I am talking about you Gwyneth Paltrow & Robert Rodriguez. So far Season 3 has been in Vegas, including a steak-craving inducing visit with Wolfgang Puck and a a kick-in-the-pants visit to Choi's LV place called Best Friends, which I was probably 25' from, and never bothered to check out, because Celebrity Chef = Dollars. It turns out to be quite the affordable experience and we would have probably loved it. But at least I got to an authentic taco truck in LV; it honestly was one of the reasons I wanted to visit the west US.

Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner, 2019, Netflix

David Chang is my other celebrity chef crush. He's the guy who brought Momofuku to the world, the resto I am ashamed to say I have not yet visited, and its in Toronto. Seriously, what's wrong with me?!?! It's in Toronto, easily accessible and highlights two things I absolutely love: KFC (Korean Fried Chicken) and Ramen! Chang was the guy who put ramen on the map for people like me. He took it from Japan and turned it into a craze. Some would say, for the worse, considering there are probably 30+ different ramen chains in Toronto right now. But, like craft beer, you can never have too many options.

Chang has a had a few food shows, with Ugly Delicious, and even a guest appearance on the previously mentioned Chef Show. With this one, he takes a small number of celebrities (big or small) and visits a place (country, area) with them to experience it through their eyes & eat with them. He goes to Morocco with Chrissy Teigan, he goes to Cambodia with Kate MacKinnon, he wanders around Vancouver (smoking, baking) with Seth Rogen and does LA with Lena Waithe.

Each experience is unique. He and Seth get stoned and wander Rogen's childhood. He and Chrissy eat the familiar and unfamiliar and never stop cracking jokes; she's been there before, he has not. Cambodia is about Kate's enjoyment of traveling alone, and she is just letting him tag along. And Lena, who I really did not know at all (she's a writer/actor, known for The Chi) and the two visit LA neighbourhood restos, as they are both transplants there.

Like Ugly Delicious which I still have not entirely watched, and might never do so (strange part of my psyche that I drop or never see things I know I will enjoy), or it would be here, the show is uneven. At its best it's when David lets his guests guide him into conversation. Like many chefs, he's always itching for complete control of the narrative, and you can see it clearly on his face, but the success of this show is through the conversation.

Gentefied, 2020, Netflix

A half-hour sitcom formatted show about about a family run taco shop in East LA. It is exactly what I want from "foreign" TV, in that it gives me a window into a world I have absolutely no exposure. The first thing I noticed is that this was an LA I did not recognize, as in, not the LA from other TV shows. This seemed ... and I cannot really be sure ... real. It felt authentic, but as a White As Can Be Boy from East Canada, I have very little exposure and understanding of East LA besides what crime TV and movies show me. So, what do I know.

The Morales run Mama Fina's, a small taco shop. Pop, grandfather to the rest, is trying to keep the place afloat despite gentrification and the all too common increase of costs against reduction of customers. His grandchildren: Eric, Chris and Anna either work or live with him, for varying reasons (crime, poverty) that are pushed into the background to focus on just being people. Eric is the dutiful grandson, who brings family first, even as he tries to reconcile with his baby mama. Chris is just returned from Idaho, works in a local high end restaurant, and wants to go to Cordon Bleu. Anna is gay, an artist and underemployed. Pop wants his shop, his legacy after decades of hard work, to survive despite being aware that change is coming. He gets it, but doesn't want to.

The show is a little uneven but a lot of fun. And it makes me hungry. It is equal parts family conflict, high tension dramatic, silly sitcom-ish behaviour and tacos. Mmmmm, I love me the little tacos. The show is not entirely focused on tacos, but it never gets far from the shop, the staff, the issues in keeping it afloat, the regulars and the community. Of note, while I hear them mentioning tacos al pastor in the show, I don't see a trompe in the background, so... artistic license.

3 Short Paragraphs: Angel Has Fallen

2019, Ric Roman Waugh (Snitch) -- download

Mike Banning has been trying to quit his job since the beginning of this franchise. It started in Olympus Has Fallen, where he persevered to save the POTUS after a horrible attack on the White House. He stuck around for London Has Fallen, when a number of world leaders are killed and POTUS has kidnapped. When we return, he's still protecting the POTUS, but the presidency has moved on to Trumbull (Morgan Freeman). Mike is not as old as his boss, but he's more broken down, suffering from the effects of so many years of extremely dangerous service. So, of course, we toss him immediately into the fray, as an assassination attempt on President Trumbull plays out. And then, to add insult to literal injury, Mike is implicated.

The first two were about attacks on the US from outside, this is about an attack from within. In the Movie Universe, progressive presidents have been moving the US away from its aggressive stance, towards a more moderate one, a more just one, the one that much of the American people still believe they represent. When America plays in fewer wars, they buy less guns, and the Military Industrial Complex loses money. An old buddy of Banning is a profiteer in said Complex, and is seeing his own American Dream die because of the POTUS and his plans. So, die he must. He doesn't.

Gone are the reasons to watch this movie, no connection to the first beyond characters, no style choices beyond Generic Actioner, not even a closed room movie. I watched it because I had to round out the commitment I already made, sort of like I finish off so many books, "just because". But as mentioned in the last movie, they are often Easy Clicks, when dancing around the HDD full of Movies I Should Watch Instead. And yes, it satisfies something base inside of me. I like Gerard Butler, for pretty much the role he plays here (aging, full of ouch) and I like Danny Huston, who has done a lot of Generic Actioners, despite my brain type-casting him as a thoughtful supporting member, via Silver City and 21 Grams.

3 Short Paragraphs: Den of Thieves

2018, Christian Gudegast (writer London Has Fallen) -- Netflix

*flick flick flick*

Too heavy, already seen, too heavy, too heavy, too heavy, Marmy wants to see, etc. Those are my usual "flicking through the channels" thoughts as I sit in front of the TV on a Saturday afternoon.And some days I am just in the mood for a "generic crime movie". So, I like Pablo Shreiber and Gerard Butler, so why not. And I got exactly what I was looking for; something to turn the brain off and make mental notes on the generic nature of crime movies set in LA.

A bunch of bad guys rob an armoured car, geared up like it was a video game inspired by the famous scene from Heat. Some people get killed including one of the bad guys. Next morning, enter Gerard Butler and his Major Case Squad. First impressions -- tough guy, bad guy, possibly even the actual bad guys or maybe they are even going to be worse than the actual bad guys, and the armoured car robbers will be robbed by them. In watching these kind of movies, there are thousand cliche directions these movies go, even when they are trying to do the unexpected. Alas, this movie went in ways I didn't even expect.

At its core, it's a heist movie. Pablo Shreiber is leading a squad of his own, all ex-cons with military training. They stole the truck, not primarily for its money, but to bolster the real job -- where they will steal from the Federal Reserve. There's a complicated plan involving lots of misdirection. Meanwhile Butler and his squad, all tattooed and grimy and chasing hookers when they should be home with their wives, are on Shreiber, knowing something is up, but not sure what. At the end, the real end of the movie, where bad guys shoot at good guys and key characters are lost, we find there was an entirely different misdirect, one that I both admired and rolled my eyes at rather heavily. Why does everyone have to be trying to setup a franchise?

I Saw This!! What I Have Been Watching: 2020 Edition: Pt C

I Saw This (double exclamation point) is our feature wherein Kent(!) or Toasty(¡) attempt to write about a bunch of stuff they watched some time ago and meant to write about but just never got around to doing so. But every time I try not to write, bad things happen, very bad things. Somewhere. To someone.

What I Have Been (or Am) Watching is the admitted state of me spending too much time in front of the TV. And despite what I said above, I have been avoiding telling you about what I have been watching. Not that you care. But at least I am not telling you about my character

Pt A is here. Pt B is here.


And They're Back !!

The Expanse S4, 2019, Amazon

This is my show. I watch it by myself (as opposed to Marmy next to me and if she IS next to me, she's on Reddit), few others I know watch it and Kent is not enamoured with it. My brain is somewhat enthralled with the idea of small space opera, where the entire universe is contained within the single solar system. I have been faithfully watching since the first season, and actually racing the story by picking up the novels in the meantime.

As I expected, from my notes in the first season, the show did end up becoming majorly about the politics, especially when the three powers of the universe (Earth, Mars and the Outer Planets) had to deal with the incursion of an alien molecule wanted only to alter and destroy humanity. That storyline culminated with the "defeated" protomolecule creating massive Stargate-style rings in/through which people found gateways to a thousand other worlds. Suddenly the small solar system, where resources were tight and land, real earthy land, scarce, was cracked opened massively.

Season 4 picks up in a small story on a single Earth-like planet that was discovered, and immediately colonized by folks displaced by the wars in the first three seasons. But an Earth corporation legally laid claim to  the planet, and sent a security detail to deal with the squatters. The powers at be, send the main characters, the crew of the small, liberated, Martian ship Rocinante. Captain Holden is (barely) trusted  by all three governments (having been the whistleblower on the horrors of the protomolecule) and is asked to help mediate peaceful negotiation between the two groups. Meanwhile, political turmoil has expanded in the main system as a splinter group of the Outer Planets Alliance is causing chaos.

This the first Expanse season that takes place primarily on the ground, but it also absorbs the key plots from a separate book, to lay the plans for the next season. So much is going on here, as we pick at the threads of so many plots & character storylines. Are the squatters criminals "stealing" a lucrative planet (valuable mineral everywhere), or just plucky underdogs finally getting somewhere? What's up with the planet itself, and all the ruins of ancient technology? After generations of terraforming their planet, Martians are losing their definition of self, as they can now just hop in a ship and find a brand new, empty planet already fit for habitation. Bobbie Draper, recently discharged Martian Marine (she sided with Earthlings against the protomolecule) is dealing with her own loss of identity & becoming a civilian. And the OPA (Outer Planets Alliance) having only recently been recognized as a proper government (instead of just protectorates of Mars and Earth) is dealing with internal strife over OPA identity. Everything that defined them -- making lives for themselves on asteroids and in space stations -- is in jeopardy when there are so many more planets to colonize. They fear becoming, as a people (Belters), only historical notes and one man  (Inaros) is not willing to give up his hatred of the Inner Planets, and sets the OPA on a course to war.

Amazon saved the show from extinction (cancelled by SyFy) and it returned with the next arc in the series. The universe is no longer a single system, but it still focuses around the small crew of the small ship, and all the people that satellite around them. There aren't a whole lot of differences that appear with the change of Motherships, and they are smart to keep what fans want -- a whole lot of focus on their favourite characters.

Jack Ryan S2, 2019, Amazon

Jack has had a lot of faces: Alec Baldwin, Harrison Ford, Ben Affleck and Chris Pine. There is enough there to establish the character -- the CIA analyst who ends up in the field. At first blush, John Krasinski is the perfect choice, as he is slightly nerdy (i.e. Analyst) looking but also equally buff (i.e. ex-Marine) and fills out the role very well.

Season 1 re-introduced the character, not bothering to recreate the wheel, but I found it strange that we are here, 30 years since the first cinematic viewing & original novels, just expecting the audience to get who he is. So, not an origin story but an updated continuance, skipping past the novels where Republican Ryan ends up as the President.

Season 2 tenuously uses his skillset and character to portray a general political upset in Venezuela and how a few Americans, if not the country at large, fly in to save the day. But, propagandic leanings aside, it was a decent, tense, well produced spy thriller season. As a whole, it is entirely unsatisfying, dancing about in tone and intent, with little care for the characters or story. But the high production values overshadow it enough to make acceptable entertainment value.

Lost in Space S2, 2018, Netflix

That last sentence pretty much defines how I feel about THIS show as well. The first season's post was lost to the hiatus mind, and while it left me entirely unsatisfied, there was a enough of the enjoyment of Shows Set in Space that had me come back. Besides, the leads are charming and charismatic enough, that I enjoy watching them act.

So, the Robinsons from the first season, are a family of smart people chosen to leave a dying Earth (we never really understand the dying, from ... what??) along with all kinds of other families, and head to a distant world to begin a colony. I never understood if this was abandonment or early setup, but considering the amount of free space in these colony ships, it all felt a little ... elitist. Anywayz, while on said journey, alien robots attack, the ship the Robinson family is on (each family gets their own ship!) crashes on a planet and is ... lost !

Turns out they were not the only ship lost in this particular system, and eventually a bunch of them get back together, both in space (in the space station cum mothership) and on another planet in the system. While I was not a big fan of the original series, its key premise always seemed to be that he Robinsons (as in Caruso) were alone, lost in space. These Robinsons keep on getting lost, and then almost immediately found, and then lost again.

The haphazard style of the first season is back, aaaaaaand I am beginning the think this is particular to the Netflix was of doing things. There is no real tone to the show, and it dances around a lot. I guess that lends itself to binging, allowing the easily bored (myself included) to find something they like, somewhere, bringing them back for another season. The Netflix Producers are less concerned with finely tuned quality, and more concerned with just enough effort to recoup costs. I guess how the obviously, clearly styled Marvel shows lost more and more viewers as time went by, while terrible, yet less rigidly designed shows keep viewers coming back, says something for what Netflix wants to make.

And yes, posting about this show is less about the show, and more about how I am pretty much in a pattern of watching shows that leave me mostly unsatisfied, but with a modicum of entertainment, enough so to keep me coming back, hoping for .... more? I could blame it on life stresses and the need to be easily entertained, but that's the cheap way out.

I need to start being more discerning. Just because something is a Space Show, and I like some of the characters, doesn't mean I have to watch it.

[We Agree] 6 Underground

2019, d. Michael Bay  - Netflix

The opening 20 minutes of 6 Underground is frenetic, aggressive, and overly self-satisfied. Bay produces a car chase sequence that not only isn't exciting but is genuinely upsetting in how it wastes all its talents and resources just to keep slapping us in the face with juvenile gags, purposeless dialogue (meant to pass as witty banter, I think), and protagonists who seem to constantly and senselessly endanger the public, and are pretty glib about doing so. The crashes are overblown, often absurd (Bay remarkably limits himself to only one Baysplosion here), but seemed to require a lot of effort, all for usually a 1-3 second cut so you can't even really marvel at them. This type of quick-cut filmmaking wasn't even really that enjoyable at the height of Bay's powers and now it just seems so passe.

It's not that the premise is stupid, because any premise can work if you treat it right, but Bay can't take anything seriously, and when he tries he can't stop himself from overly indulging in effects, explosions, wisecracks or dumb gags. There's no room for real emotion or sentimentality.

But yeah, this movie is bad. The story has terrible pacing. It keeps interrupting any momentum it gains with flashbacks and origin stories. There's no real character building, because that would entail spending any amount of time getting to know them with any earnestness. Halfway through the film we don't know these characters or have any reason to care about them or their safety.

Ryan Reynolds' voiceover continually pops in to tell us... something... but nothing ever meaningful. It's supposed to be background or insight but only serves to fill any quiet moment (like an establishing shot) with noise.

I got one laugh (when there was that nerdy kid sitting with them at dinner and Reynolds calls out that they perhaps shouldn't be talking about their plans in front of him) and I really only found the parkour sequences exciting (and for all the effort that went into car chases and gun fights, they're astonishingly tedious).  I guess the giant magnet was interesting, except Bay kept overindulging in juvenile gags and improbable effects.

Just...what a fucking waste of time, money, talent, resources.

(Toast's take)

Horse Girl

2020, d. Jeff Baena - Netflix

Sarah's family has a history of mental health issues, and lately Sarah has been having spells of lost time, troubled sleep and sleepwalking. It's also possible she's being abducted by aliens and experimented upon.

It's the specificity in Sarah's character that I like so much about this film. She's sweet and awkward, but obviously nervous because of the emotional traumas she's experienced. Those specifics are a necessary part of the film's deft obfuscation of reality. Is it her psychosis that we're seeing or is she really being abducted?

I honestly think the time is trying to say why can't it be both. It's certainly saying that this is Sarah's truth, whatever we may think of it. Sometimes it's hard to have understanding of someone's struggle with mental health, but it doesn't mean we can't have compassion. I think that is ultimately what this is about. It's not about accepting or relating to Sarah's truth but having compassion for what she is experiencing.

Alison Brie is phenomenal, delivering a complex and rich performance which, as co-writer, doubtlessly is something she's been needing to get out. I won't say risky or brave, instead it's confident and self-aware.

I haven't been exceptionally pleased with any of Jeff Baena's films I've seen so far (Joshy, The Little Hours), but there's exceptional growth here as a filmmaker, if still a little clunkiness that I'm sure increased budgets and more technical experience will smooth out.

It's a twisty, mysterious, boggling and beautiful film, resting somewhere between mumblecore drama and retro-90's thriller, but certainly not everyone's cup of tea. Sort of the trippy, experimental 80's sci-fi vibe if not quite as beholden to aesthetic as, say, Beyond The Black Rainbow or Under The Skin.

3 Short Paragraphs: Time Trap

2017, Mark Dennis, Ben Foster (Strings) -- Netflix

I think it's well established that I am a fan of time travel movies. THIS blog started as a back of the streetcar argument nee raving about a time travel movie. Well, at least it did in the previous timeline, as the evidence doesn't match up with my actual recollection. How did Kent do his post in May, mine was in July and the first actual posts were in MARCH ?!?! I think some agents of time have been having some hijinx at my expense. But even the time bureau cannot wipe away my enjoyment of time travel fiction, especially thought indie level, where the idea is often more important than the executio or budget.

That said, I think the execution of this lofty idea (ok, not really that lofty, but I imagine the back of the streetcar pitch was lofty) is decent enough, if rather low key. The movie begins with Hopper, the archaeology prof bringing his students into the desert with him for his pet obsession -- the trail of some missing hippies from times past. There is something about going into the desert to discover a mystery that lends itself to indie scifi creators. But nevermind that, in the entrance to a cave the Prof finds a man frozen mid-stride. And like a fool, he follows. Days later, the students, who he had sent away are returning with their own group of friends, and tag-alongs, to find out what happened to Prof. Inside the caves, they discover something inexplicable, something that changes their lives forever.

There is no point in going into this movie without spoiling everything. If you don't want to know how it goes, just let me tell you it was a fun, twisty flick, a little naive at times, a little lofty (i already said that) at other times and one that solidifies that time related movies never truly leave their cast untouched. You see, what they find is a cave system where time travels faster, or slower, in many different parts of the system. They are not the first who were trapped in here, and trapped they definitely are having gazed up through a chimney to see flashes of light, strobes of night and day moving by at breakneck pace, showing them exactly how much time is passing them by. By the time (pun intended) they have an idea of what is going on, they start running into others investigating the same phenomena, people who are also out of time, and who are seeking to break the power this place has. Oh, and cave folks.

3 Short Paragraphs: Fighting with my Family

2019, Stephen Merchant (Hello Ladies) -- download

But Toasty, why are you watching a wrastlin' movie? You don't even like wrestling (sorry rob). Yes, that is true, but I heard it was a standard British feel-good comedy, and we were in the mood for something light, so we gave it a chance. It might also be my totally inappropriate Hollywood crush on Florence Pugh. For someone so new to the business, a few small parts in standard British fare, she sure has sprung into the spotlight, with her roles in Midsommar (yet to watch; i know i know) and Little Women (an Oscar nomination!) and her coming part in Black Widow. Personally, I think she's going to have a brief moment in the Hollywood spotlight, and the return to making small, British films that mean more to her.

Anywayz, yes this definitely was a typical British feel-good movie. Saraya is being raised by her cringe-trashy wrestler parents (played by Lena Headey and Nick Frost), along with her brother, to join the family business -- a really really small wrestling league/group in Norwich, England. Her family is really REALLY into this, while she feels dragged along. At tryouts for the WWE, nobody is more surprised than Saraya that she is picked, rather than her brother, than Saraya herself. But despite tension and resentment, she owes it to the family to try. Off to America she goes, encouraged by words from The Rock.

This is bio-pic light, because unknown to me, her character Paige was a real WWE wrestler. We get to see how Saraya deals with being the small town English girl shoved into the bright sunlight of the Florida training camp, her being more gothy than her fellow tryouts. I almost see this part as a metaphor for Pugh's current state, and maybe more than a little inspiration to pursue her career in Hollywood. After the typical setbacks, Paige comes at the whole WWE thing renewed and with even more vigorous, and becomes the famous star that actual wrestling fans will have to explain to me.

Bonus Paragraph: There are small home-video clips in the rolling credits scenes, that confirmed that Headey and Frost did a spectacular job playing the utter cringe  nature of her parents. They are utterly unashamed of who they were (criminals) and who they are (wrestlers) and surprisingly, that's the most feel-good part of it.

I Saw This!! What I Have Been Watching: 2020 Edition: Pt B

I Saw This (double exclamation point) is our feature wherein Kent(!) or Toasty(¡) attempt to write about a bunch of stuff they watched some time ago and meant to write about but just never got around to doing so. But every time I try not to write, bad things happen, very bad things. Somewhere. To someone.

What I Have Been (or Am) Watching is the admitted state of me spending too much time in front of the TV. And despite what I said above, I have been avoiding telling you about what I have been watching. Not that you care. But at least I am not telling you about my character

Pt A is here. 

The First Season; Binged

The Witcher, 2019, Netflix

Every so often, I enter a search into Reddit / Google for "generic fantasy novel". Usually that generates a debate between what is generic or not, and how most people are searching for things that go against the tropes. Not me; give me more heroic adventurer types, sword wielding grim warriors, elves & dwarves and monsters to be slain. One of those times, it led me to a Polish series about a professional monster killer, a man from of an ancient order, corrupted by magic potions and wandering the countryside, taking bounties on things that prey on the people. The stories were faery tale adjacent, as if someone was reinterpreting Grimm for their D&D game, and Mary Sue-ing the Hell out of the stories. I loved the books. Not long after reading, the games appeared, or I discovered the games -- not sure exactly of my timelines. The games never took hold of me. I am currently on my second attempt to get through The Witcher 3: The Wild Hunt, which should have all the hallmarks for a game I would love, but for some reason I cannot get into.

And then Netflix came along to adapt it for the English audiences. This is not the first time the books have been tackled for the small screen. In the early 2000s, there was The Hexer, a poorly received TV series based on the books. I watched a few episodes; it was terrible. Netflix chose to represent for fans of the books and/or the games. Hell, even Henry Cavill himself is a big fan of the games, which lends at least a familiarity with the source, if not a genuine love. Netflix even did the bathtub scene from the game.

Big surprise, but I was a fan. This is definitely another series intending to ride the coat tails of Game of Thrones and while it doesn't (not as cinematic; Netflix does not yet seem completely capable of epic), it still does a solid Generic Fantasy story for me.

It takes a while to get into, and to be honest, their playing with timeline presentation doesn't help. Sure, Westworld did it, but remember, Netflix doesn't do epic very well, so it ends up coming across as confusing and disjointed. By the time (pun intended) we catch on, its time to draw the story lines together. So, Geralt of Rivia, a grimdark monster killer for hire. Yennefer of Vengerberg, a not-young sorceress, bought from her family (as a twisted, deformed young woman) recreates herself in power and manipulation. Princess Ciri of Cintra, granddaughter of the Queen, and the last surviving member of the royal family after the country is invaded by Nilfgaard. These are the three storylines and timelines we chase. This is a world of elves, and dwarves (but I don't think we see any) and fantastical creatures, some monstrous, some benign. This is a world of great magic. And the first season is about introducing characters, and setting and world building. Unfortunately, its a little light on story, as the next season, when all is gathered together, is where the real story begins.

But it still works, for the most part. We get all the elements we want from The Witcher: swordplay, and nasty monsters, spell play and beautiful sorceresses (the milieu is very *cough* classic), we even get Dandelion the bard, but under the not-translated name of Jaskier. And while I am not sure we fans needed it, we got a really catch tune. So, go ahead, toss a coin to your witcher.

The Watchmen, 2019, HBO

Now, if you want epic, HBO does epic and it does it well. This was easily the best thing I saw on TV this year, in that it gave me what I wanted from a franchise related story, but also gave me something challenging and exciting and just so... fucking... well... done.

This is not a sequel to the movie, though you can see some inspiration taken from Zack Snyder's visuals. This is a straight up sequel to the comics, but thirty years later. This is the world that came after Adrian Veidt dropped a psychic alien squid on top of NYC, killing millions in the psionic blast. This is a world of costumed vigilantes, but not exactly superheroes. This is also the world that suffered and benefited from the fallout of Veidt's act. The cold war was ended, and there seems to have been a lasting peace between nations, as Ozymandias continued to worry people of alien incursions via regular "squid fall", basically rains of pollywog sized squid babies.

But of course, all is never quite right with the world. In a Thor's hammer sized hit-on-the-head reminder, we always believe things are great while marginalized folks still get the shaft. This show was so woke some people could not get past it's political agenda, but to be honest, it was that which kept me attached. This is often an uncomfortable watching, as it starts with a view into a part of history I didn't even know existed -- the Tulsa Race Riots (which in itself, is a white washing of a name for an event) where white Tulsans attacked a prosperous black neighbourhood, killing indiscriminately and burning down the neighbourhood. In the series, Tulsa is providing reparations to the descendents of the terror, while its police force deals with the reemergence of a white supremacist group called the Seventh Kavalry, and yes, the K is intentional.

This is pure Damon Lindelof (The Leftovers, Lost) with lots of plots and subplots and weirdness and amazing characters and incredible performances. Time and stories twist around, not quite Westworld style but confusing enough to cause big grins when you start cluing in. In a world where Dr. Manhattan no longer perceives time as a linear stream, but as all, at once, this kind of makes sense.

This is not a superhero TV show, despite some imagery of masked vigilantes, but it is a show about the legacy of allowing people to dress up and fight for justice, and the ramifications and fictions that would be built around them. Remember Hooded Justice from the comic? Turns out his hangman motif is not quite what it seemed, and was accepted as. Nor who and what he was.

As usual, I am trying to remember what stood out. I am such an in-the-moment kind of guy. But Jeremy Irons as the older Adrian Veidt, Regina King as a masked crusader working for the Tulsa police department, Jean Smart as the ex-superhero now FBI agent, and Tim Blake Nelson as "Mirror Guy". And of course, the Excalibur cannot be unseen.

Dracula, 2020, Netflix

In a world where the Universal Monsters Reboots have failed in numerous attempts, we are not going to get a proper Dracula in Modern Day movie. And then comes along an unexpected British produced, Netflix delivered version in the vein (pun intended) of Sherlock, in that it is done by Gatiss and Moffat. It both succeeds and utterly fails in an attempt to gives us something new in the recently post-vampire world.

So, British-style, in that we get only three longish episodes. The first episode is just, in my humble opinions, brilliant. They give us the familiar story of Jonathan Harker visiting Count Dracula to solidify a real estate deal. But we are getting the story via a requested narration, by a forthright nun to a very Renfieldish Harker. We get the familiar visitation story, with so many nods to previous versions, I got dizzy. We have the classic Hammer stories, we have Francis Ford Coppola's, we even have a little bit of the 1979 Frank Langella Drac. It was compelling and humorous, chilling and inventive.

The second episode places us on the Demeter, the ship that transports Dracula's coffin & soil. The retelling is almost a Murder on the Orient Express meets The Thing in that Dracula is picking off the other passengers one by one, while making the rest believe each is the murderer. All along Dracula is portraying more and more of the vampiric powers we are familiar with, while manipulating and altering them. For example, how does an ancient shut-in vampire expect to know about the world and age outside of Transylvania, late 1800s? By imbibing the knowledge he needs from the blood of his victims. With the knowledge taken, he slaughters everyone left on board.

And then he arrives on the coast of England and the helicopter is flying overhead.

*record scratch*

Yeah, the third episode was just ... weak. Modern day Dracula, played by 50ish Clays Bang (what a name!) is supposed to be seducing young, beautiful, irreverent Lucy while being foiled by the Harker Foundation led by Zoe Van Helsing, the descendant of the nun from the first two episodes. Yawn. They take a nice reworking attempt, and want to smoosh it into the sexy, seductive trope we have been dispensing with for a decade. Wasted.

Well, at least he didn't sparkle.

Raising Dion, 2019, Netflix

This was a thoroughly unexpected, enjoyable superhero origin story where the hero of the story is an eight year old boy coming into his powers. I have previously mentioned enjoying genre and crime TV from other countries, because it gives me a familiar experience but in a new light. In the age of Marvel, we are used to seeing how a youngish, usually male, usually white main character discovers he has powers, and how to handle them. But take an average, very grounded eight year old kid being raised by his mother, after his father, cameo-ed by Michael B Jordan, was killed saving a woman from drowning.

I imagine dad's insurance keeps them afloat, as he was a successful tech engineer, but it doesn't mean things aren't still tough. Mom is young, too young to be widowed, and while she gets support from dad's best friend (played by Jason Ritter) and her own sister, things are not helped when Dion discovers he can move things with his mind, go incorporeal and even more. Best Friend gets introduced soon enough; Dion and him bond over superhero names and how to train. But then a conspiracy involving aurora borealis over Iceland emerges and things get really interesting.

The core story is fun enough, with twists and turns, but the meat of this show was Dion and his mother. Dion is just a rambunctious little hellion, constantly pushing himself to the boundaries of what his mother can handle. She gets some help from Best Friend and from Dion's own best friend, Esperanza, a mouthy little girl confined ot a motorized wheelchair. But Dion is eight; lack of control is inherent. Mom dances the line from barely keeping it together with the drama these powers bring, while showing immense strength in front of all this.

I am very very glad Netflix is giving this one a second season. Please give all the monies intended for Dracula to this one please, and while you are at it, fund a TV show for Fast Color, which I briefly thought THIS was the TV adaptation of, as the use of colour and lights to depict their superpowers fooled me. Also, how many black centric superhero shows are out there, a sad comment on our supposed progression.