Saturday, July 23, 2011

3 Short Paragraphs: Red Riding Hood


2011, Catherine Hardwicke (this is why I hate the hollywood demolition of good directors; she starts with Thirteen and Lords of Dogtown and now did Twilight and this pile of wolf poo?) -- download

Oooops, I let the big bad wolf out of the bag. Yeah, it sucked. Or bit, if I am to get my metaphors straight.

So, stylistically Twilight wasn't too bad. The story sucks but that's not her fault. Sparkly vampires are not her fault. But this one.... this one's on her. Well, maybe. Again, this one stylistically is pretty nice. The fabricated village in the imaginary forest of some eastern European country is imaginatively designed. The fairy tale atmosphere is both fantastical and eerie at the same time, even if they forget to explain the sword length thorns growing on all the trees. I would like to see the production behind-the-scenes.

But that doesn't make up for bad acting, terrible plot, an inserted 21st century bumping-n-grinding rave and a very muddled love story. Gah, I find myself dancing from stinky scene to stinky scene but not really able to nail down anything i liked about it. OK, how about how I found myself being distracting from actually watching it by identifying the various actors from the Brotherhood of Canadian SciFi actors? Daniel Jackson? Colonel Tigh? Some guy from Smallville? Hardball from BSG ? Granny Goodness? If Gary Oldman's witch-hunter had Robert Carlyse cast instead, it would have been perfect. And thusly, I found myself thinking f it had been an hour episode from one of the series to which they contribute, it may have been forgiven. But not this.