31 Days of Halloween 2015: Let Us Prey

2014, Brian O'Malley -- download

Another cheat. But maybe one I won't need, as Marmy has been getting us to watch some doubles to fill in.  Oh well, cannot get enough out of my queue and onto the screen. This screen; we already did the widescreen.

Now, how's that for weird. When we started watching Last Shift, the movie that started this whole season of horror, we immediately asked, "Is this an American remake of Let Us Prey?" that we had watched earlier in September. Both begin with a young woman starting her first shift at a local precinct in a small town, this one being in Scotland. And I started the draft of this writing with the title Last Shift, instead of the proper one.

But really, Let Us Prey begins with Liam Cunningham, the Onion Knight, crawling out of the ocean in a heavy overcoat and lots of premonition.

PC. Rachel Heggie is beginning her first shift, and is welcomed by Sgt. MacReady. And if by welcomed, you mean berated and screamed at, the you would be correct. Like Sgt Cohen, who welcomes Jessica in the other movie, MacReady is a pock marked asshole. It doesn't help that on her first night, Heggie is dragging in the local asshole who almost hit a stranger on the road, in a case of reckless driving. They toss him in the clink but actually cannot find the stranger, Liam, until he appears at their door acting all mysterious. And just about begs to be tossed in the clink himself, right next to the man who almost hit him.

For her first night, things get pretty intense, as the jail begins to fill up and Liam acts more and more creepy. For a stranger with few words, Liam seems very aware of the sins people are committing. And likes to tell them how very aware he is. This includes the town doctor and MacReady himself. And yet, he is completely fine with Heggie, who has flashbacks to having been abducted when she was a child. Obviously protecting people had an origin story for her. As the night progresses, it becomes very clear Liam is definitely here for some retribution, and not the earthly kind.

Liam Cunningham has the intensity to pull off being a rather biblical entity out for punishment, and the coat doesn't hurt at all. As the movie falls into a pattern Simon Pegg would be fond of, Heggie maintains her cool and picks up on the cues Liam is giving. In the end, as the world burns down around her, he gives a choice, once I was rather surprised she accepted.

This was a fun movie, if not overly complicated. Bad guys get punished, and not without just merits. For a small sleepy Scottish town, there is a lot of nasty evil going on.

31 Days of Halloween 2015: Hausu

1977, Nobuhiko Ôbayashi (The Girl Who Leapt Through Time) -- download

Back to the terrible (not the future), but finally, we get to see the classic Japanese surreal horror movie that is in turns fascinating and so very very terrible. It is your classic movie to be seen in a rep cinema with friends and copious amounts of alcohol.

P.S. I have called it by the Japanese name, but in reality, it is billed as House even in Japan. I just don't want to confuse it with the 1986 movie, which is apparently not a remake.

So, 1970s Japan. The special effects are not so special but the kink we know well is already in place. As are many of the tropes we know well today. Add to that some references to WWII and atomic trauma, and it actually had some current affairs for a bad movie about heads biting bums.

The girls are named Gorgeous, Fantasy, Melody, Kung Fu, Prof, Sweety and Mac, as translated by our subtitles loosely adapting the descriptive names in Japanese. Its school year's end and everyone is planning their summer holidays. Gorgeous is going with her dad to a resort town and most are joining Mr Togo in summer camp. I am never sure if Mr Togo was a teacher or a boyfriend, but whatever he was, it was wildly inappropriate. But Gorgeous's plans are foiled by her dad's new fiance (a new mom he found in Italy) and summer camp being cancelled. All the girls end up going to Gorgeous's Auntie who she hasn't seen since her mother's death.

The psychadelia begins right away. Nobuhiko is having a ball. The travel montages are a mixture of bad backdrop scenes (you know, badly painted canvasses representing the passing countryside) and scenes where we supposed to think its a backdrop, but its an actual painting on the roadside. This is his hint he will be messing with us.

The house is your typical menacing, rundown place on a hill in the countryside which is hard to find until you go the gas station run by the creepy guy. Sorry, I mean watermelon stand run by the creepy guy. Its Japan; they have their spin on the tropes.

Auntie is old and in a wheelchair, but inviting. In traditional fashion the girls dive to help clean house and prepare dinner, as Auntie makes disconcerting references to how tasty the girls look. The first to go is Mac, who is still hungry and goes after the watermelon being kept cool in the well. When Fantasy goes to find her, she gets bitten by Mac's decapitated but still quite ambulatory head, bitten on the ass. But Fantasy sees things so everyone dismisses her.

And then one by one, things go batshit. Sweety is beat up by futons & bedding to be turned into a doll. The girls sniff her panties to confirm its her. Kung Fu defends herself from chopped wood, loses her skirt and spends the rest of the movie running around in only panties. Gorgeous, who if this was an american movie would be the Final Girl, is... well, it involves her aunt's dressing table, mirror and makeup. And a terrible special effect that is her being consumed by ... fire? I have no idea, but she is missing. All the while Auntie has jumped up from her wheelchair and is dancing. And in case we didn't get it, we get a scene of her chowing down on Mac's limbs.

I forgot to mention the white cat that found her way to Gorgeous's bedroom at the beginning, into the train car when the girls were coming to Auntie's home in the country and finally, into Auntie's lap. Nobody ever asks why but guess what? That cat is Evil with green blinking eyes that initiate a lot of the batshit events.

I am not sure now, as I write this, that things were supposed to have a surreal aspect. I think it was more meant to be scary as all hell but the special effects are so terrible, things seem to drug induced to not be way out there.  I get Melody being eaten by a piano, but what is with the psychedelic lit up keys and her chomped off fingers continuing to play?

The thing that surprised me most about this movie was the familiar kink of current Japan fiction. Fan service, ala panty shots galore, is ever present but some "clothes ripped off" nudity was not expected. I get it, 70s horror movies in America were doing it then, having the bad girls murdered while changing or sexing it up, but this is very much the form we see in all the anime and schlock horror movies of today. Just wasn't expecting it to be a thing of the 70s as well.

In the end, this is a very very bad movie but so enjoyable because you are never sure what is intentional or what is just someone's attempt at shock or eeriness. P.S. We never do get to know why Mr Togo, the creepy old guy coming to find them, was meant to do because he gets turned into a bunch of bananas by Creepy Watermelon Guy.

31 Days of Halloween 2015: Crimson Peak

2015, Guillermo del Toro (Pan's Labyrinth, Hellboy) --- cinema

Finally. Finally a great movie. What a relief.

P.S. Peak, not plural, not Twin Peaks reference.

Crimson Peak is a creepy gothic romance period piece. Let's get that straight. It is not, primarily, a horror movie. It is a throwback to the period storytelling where the setting and the characters were much more important than the ghosts, with often the latter being metaphorical in nature - as in main character Edith Cushing's novel. But don't get me wrong, there are some very fucking scary ghosts in this movie, but their impact on the story is not as important as the setting and characters.

Oh, the setting. We know well del Toro loves to set dress, but once he gets the story to the Cumberland region of England, it is just jaw dropping. A crumbling, and I mean holes in the roof crumbling, old stately manner on a snowy moor in the middle of  nowhere is where we spend much of the movie. Edith and her new husband Thomas Sharpe (run away! Its Loki in yet another disguise!) move here after the unfortunate death of Edith's father. The Sharpes, Thomas and sister Lucille (Jessica Chastain in a role that was channeling Eva Green) are down on their luck and seek the infusion of Edith's inheritance. Nefarious plans! Creepy family! Even more creepy house!

This house! Sinking into the red clay bogs, it has sucked up and is expelling the clay -- the walls literally bleed red at random intervals. They cannot afford to repair, so everything is in a state of haunted house disrepair yet they live in it all by themselves. No servants to get in the way of their dastardly plans. There is a creaking, swaying elevator that goes up to the attic workshop full of creepy toys and down to the cellar with the clay pots, that look more like places to punish wayward wives. And moths have made their home everywhere, fluttering and flitting about in the dark shadows like so many shades of death foretold. And yet, in all that, it is so beautiful in its decay, so well laid out with the hints of glamour once was.

del Toro tells a tale of wife beset by her husband and his sister. At first we suspect the ghosts may wish her harm, as they are the scariest spectral entities to haunt the screen since Mama, of which del Toro had his fingers in. But in gothic fashion, the people involved are the true villains. Poor Edith, will she escape the clutches of the Sharpes? Well, if still-playing-American-even-in-England Charlie Hunnam as Dr. McMichael has a say!

I have to watch a currently set movie with Mia Wasikowska to see if she is unfairly type cast. Ever since we saw her in Jane Eyre she has been in period pieces. And I kept on turning my head slightly to the right, thinking this movie was her Alice in Wonderland character learning just how nasty the real world can be. But she is fabulous here, not a truly weak willed wallflower as the role is meant to be, but very much in control of her fate. She doesn't really need to be rescued by Charlie, just requires a bit of assistance. She has it in hand.

So, for the Halloween season, I think it is the perfect choice. Hauntingly beautiful as it is haunting. And yes David, I am pretty sure I saw a blurry image of you in the background, over someone's shoulder.

31 Days of Halloween 2015: Suburban Gothic

2014, Richard Bates Jr. -- download

Follow up a bad movie with a terrible movie. Way to trend David.

We almost turned this comedy ghost story off but I wanted to see how it ended, despite cringing and yawning through just about every scene. This indie comedy struck me as a director doing his utter best to be edgy and appeal to the horror film fest circuit to at least get a distribution deal. Grabbing Matthew Gray Gubler, best (only?) known for being the genius on the spectrum profiler on Criminal Minds and Kat Dennings doing her best fashion goth look, and whom I am beginning to accept is entirely one note in all of her roles and finally, Ray Wise, who shall forever be cast in cast in comedy horrors, Bates then wastes the skills of all involved on a painfully self-indulgent movie.

This movie played bingo with indie cred. It had a weird character, a prototypical hipster wearing thrift store finds and being painfully alternative, despite it only leading him back to the bedroom in his parents house. It has an abrasive bartender who says she doesn't want sex with said main character, but ends up having it with anyway. Bright colours! Weird connecting scenes where people act strange for no reason! Oddball small town characters! Wasted cameo by John Waters! Racism as humour! It felt like someone saw Odd Thomas and decided it needed to be merged with a John Waters film, but only put as much effort into it as convincing John Waters to waste his time on camera.

Plot? Kid has an ability to see ghosts, long suppressed by his blood pressure meds, actually antipsychotics. Returns home to his childhood bedroom (cute cut scene of a millennial just expecting work as exec), finds unearthed child casket in back yard and has to solve / foil haunting. In the end he finds purpose by opening a ghost investigator business. It as if Bates actually thought they might get an online TV or movie series deal. Or just a painful closure of millennial with no prospects finding his niche.

Should have turned it off.

31 Days of Halloween 2015: The Voices

2014, Marjane Satrapi (Persepolis) -- download

What makes a good horror comedy? Subverting the tropes?  Working entirely within the tropes but putting a good comedic spin on it? Good jokes? Wry humour? Gross outs? Of course, we know the answer is never one of those things specific. Maybe Kent can weigh in more, as he is the comedy guy, but I always find myself not sure whether a premise is going to work. And even if it makes me laugh, its not always a good comedy, let alone a good movie.

If you run with the premise, The Voices is about a schlep of a guy working at a factory who hears his dog & cat talking to him. The cat, standard marmalade tom has a Scottish accent. The dog, a big rolly polly mastiff with drooping eyes and jowls, has a cartoony big galoot voice. Both are just the our main character Jerry's voice, i.e. Ryan Reynolds having some fun. Jerry is a little unbalanced, and not because the pets talk to him, but because of what they ask him to do. The dog is a nice guy, and the cat is expectedly an asshole, a sociopathic one to boot.

This movie looks like it wants to be set in North England, in a small factory town with all kinds of outrageous characters working there. Yet, its probably just somewhere in the midwest. Gemma Arterton is the extroverted office worker he has a crush on. Anna Kendrick is the introverted office worker who has a crush on him. Neither seem to notice Jerry is not just a handsome nice guy but very very much off. I am not sure if I bought into the fact Kendrick could like him in that way, despite that being Ryan Reynolds.

On a fateful night Jerry has to drive Gemma, ok her name is Fiona, home from a night out. Its pouring and she has no choice. She is flirty, dismissive and drunk. When she sees him deal with the deer they hit on the slick, rain obscured road, she really really sees how off Jerry is. And he has to kill her.

The movie is funny. The cat is funny. The talking heads in the fridge are funny. The acting is decent and the script is as well, if familiar. But it is just not a very good movie. Again with the not so good, not so bad. I am getting a bit frustrated. Even the break with the splendor of Spring, we are getting shelved with bad attempts to do out of the ordinary, comedy horrors.

And I am not really sure why the movie had to end with a song & dance number. Really really not sure, other than to highlight, "Hey look at us, a fun quirky movie! Songs! Dance! Those are fun right!"

Another celebrated director saddled with a crappy followup American movie.

31 Days of Halloween 2015: The Lazarus Effect

2014, David Gelb (Jiro Dreams of Sushi) -- download

Yes, the director of the acclaimed documentary about a sushi master, has also made a cheesy horror movie. He should stick to documentaries.

More cheats! I left a few horror movies sitting in my list in case I do something in the evening other than watch a movie. This is one.

It doesn't take much to call this a remake of Flatliners, it actually is much worse. At least that movie had the brat pack of that era going for it, but this one has Olivia Wilde and Donald Glover, and that is about it.  Am I supposed to know who Mark Duplass is, because he is not convincing as the tortured scientist working on a drug that will prolong the period from which people can be revived.  You know, revived from death. By combining a milky substance with massive electrical shocks, they figure out how to draw you back from the beyond. But didn't Pet Cemetery teach anybody anything? You always come back wrong.

Olivia Wilde is his partner, his lover and the first human victim of his folly. And of course, she has to have a dark past which will be dragged back with her from over there. But for some reason they decide it will have a side effect that is not much different than "all your brain cells active" scifi, such as that in Lucy, but with the added bonus of black demon eyes. When did they decide that an entirely black eye means demonic?

They could have gone for a more science focused movie but completely, utterly dispensed with that for scares and darkness and crying side kicks. It goes no where, delivers everything else in a lazy fashion and inspires no desire to know how things will end up.

31 Days of Halloween 2015: Spring

2014, Justin Benson, Aaron Moorhead (V/H/S Viral) -- download

"What's this one about?" I ask Marmy.

"A boy travels to Italy and suspects the girl he meets might be a mystical creature," she answers.

"Doesn't quite sound like it fits the theme," I reply, thinking we are going to have a romance fantasy along the lines of Ondine or The Secret of Roan Inish. Yes, both about selkies but they were the first that came to mind, but it does make me wonder if there are other countries producing wayward romances involving mythological creatures.

But, this movie, yeah not a wayward romance. OK, it is, very much so, but not a fantasy, but a good, solid romantic horror. In much the way the last one is a solid familial ghost story, full of sweet tragedy, this is a scary monster story within a solid summer romance.

Evan has had a crappy couple of years. He left college when his dad died, to move home and take care of his mom, who soon after died of cancer. He has been working as a line cook in a crappy bar and on the night of her funeral, ends up beating a thug to a pulp; said thug was about to smash Evan's buddy with a bottle. On a whim, he takes off to Italy to sort himself out.

Evan's an average guy, mild mannered but assured of himself enough to travel Italy on his own and to question the intentions of the red dressed hottie he hits on, when she wants to immediately leave the bar for sex. Whoah, too quick. He wants to flirt, have some coffee, get to know the girl before disappearing into her room. He rightfully suspects he might be robbed, beaten, drugged or whatever incredible looking women do to American tourists in sleepy Italian villages. She laughs and walks away from him, but that only intrigues him more.

This is the kind of indie film making I enjoy. No recognizable faces and a hazy lack of recognizable genre directing that is definitely going to lead somewhere. The two do connect, in a Before Sunset sort of way, hanging out exclusively for about five days while we catch glimpses of weird things going on around Evan and Louise. Flowers spontaneously blooming, mysterious injections, patches of weird skin, etc. By the time Louise has to dump Evan, we are well aware something very very strange is going on with her.

**SPOILERs**

But it doesn't end there, after the horror of the transformations she is going through are dumped for a science fiction explanation of immortality through unique biology. Louise is over two thousand years old, and every twenty or so years, she has to get pregnant and use those cells to regenerate a new body. She tells Evan, wanting to protect him from the intervening transformations that are uncontrolled and dangerous. She fully expects him to run. He does but then, well, he decides he is live love with her. Can she abandon immortality for him? What was it like living over 2000 years? Can they even have a life together? Yeah,  this kid is pretty messed up if he can forget monster for pretty girl. But the movie does a pretty damn good job of convincing us this is sweet and romantic while also telling us that she is willing to give up all she is for him. Come sunrise, well, in the shadow of Mt Vesuvius decisions are made and...

31 Days of Halloween 2015: La casa del fin de los tiempos

2013, Alejandro Hidalgo -- download

The House at the End of Time -- see, you can literally translate a movie title and have it mean exactly what it said in the original language. Here we have a Venezuela movie that is as much family tragedy as it is hauntings. One that is as touching as it is spooky.

I will have to properly go back and read some of my older posts (cringe) but I am sure another South American flick we saw in Octobers past fit the description of touching and haunting. The tale is done so very well, a story of a family in a house already spooky enough to be haunted, but not so, until Dulce starts experiencing things.

But wait, sorry, I jumped ahead. But not as much as the movie did, for it begins with her face down in her own blood, slashed and scared. Into the basement she goes, to find her husband with an ornate knife buried deep in his shoulder, alive only for a moment, before expiring. She then chases further yelling her son's name, "Leo!!  Leopoldo!!" At the edge of a creepy metal framed door he stands and she begs him to come back. Just as he creeps forward, something reaches from the dark to snatch him away. From basement to tomb like subbasement she searches but never finds him.

She is taken away, for the murder of her husband and son. The boy is never found and she never explains what happened, but is sent away for 30 years. And then the movie picks up with her release, back to the house where it all happened, house arrest maybe for a Venezuelan form of early release? She is allowed to be visited by a priest, and thus begins her tale, to him, to us.

Dulce and her husband were already having troubles, mainly around money but also around something from her past. Her two sons are both perfectly loyal to each other and competitive siblings. She tells the priest of the things that haunted her in the house, seeing figures walking about, hearing thumps and bangs.

The tale is a time jump, going to from current day, as the older lady struggles to live in the house, to her relating the night of her husband's stabbing in detail, to further back, to the real tragedy in her life -- the death of her youngest son. The priest listens to all. We see the more of it. And then things begin to unravel, or possibly spool together.

**SPOILER**

Its all tied, and sweetly so. Not only is this a spooky, jump filled movie of strange ghostly figures, but it is a thrilling time travel movie. For, you see, the house was built by a strange English mason at the turn of the 20th century. And every 30 years, this house causes many of its inhabitants to just disappear. Dulce finds out exactly how and why, as she is carried back and forth to eras of the house, haunting herself, scaring her sons and they, in turn, frightening and influencing each other. In one incredibly heart breaking scene, the older boy gets to embrace his younger brother, whom he has recently seen die. A brother who misses his sibling dearly. And the thrill of how everything ties together makes for the first fully satisfying movie of our seasonal watching.

I highly recommend this one.

31 Days of Halloween 2015: All the Boys Love Mandy Lane

2006, Jonathan Levine (50/50, Warm Bodies) -- Netflix

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane is an odd duck film, a movie made in 2006, did the film circuit around 2008 but due to complications with its distributors and luke warm appeal here in North America, didn't receive wider release until 2013, after Levine had done 50/50. So when most people are familiar with his cancer buddy story, Warm Bodies, the zombie romantic comedy must have seemed like an odd next choice.

So, his first real full length feature was supposed to be a horror movie acting as an expose on horror movie tropes, not quite Cabin in the Woods, but left of centre of the genre.

Aggh; I hate that almost every movie I am viewing this season is of the "its not a bad movie, but there is nothing great about it" ilk. Sure, I already admitted that we have already seen the best horror movies of 2014/2015 in non-October months, but there should be better out there. I guess we are just not finding them.

Don't get me wrong; I liked Mandy, I just didn't find it wonderful. It is an atmospheric, decidedly non-genre take on the teen slasher movie. I often felt I was watching a more inciteful look into teen life, the popular kids vs the non-popular ones, the rampant promiscuity vs the virginal, except, well except that there wasn't a lot of real incite. The dialogue & plot structure was most definitely standard teen slasher, but it skewed the usual with the style of shots, long and hazy, wonderful camera work. And with the music, shelving the eerie tension announcing soundtrack for late 90s rock music and out of time covers. Timelessness also contributed a definitive element where only the cars and the lack of smartphones defined the movie as being most definitely not current, but maybe really, actually 2003, the era when it was first written?

Oh yeah, what is it about?

Mandy Lane is the weird girl blooming midway through high school. This was Amber Heard before she came out, before she married Johnny Deppe. Blonde, curvy, with an etheric beauty, she is presented as the unsullied lovely whom all the boys want, but none have had. Marmy asked me if she is actually awe inspiring, and while I said no, I understand what they were presenting. Every school had that popular blonde who rode the line between popular and innocent and always seemed to have perfect beams of sun backlighting her.

Mandy used to be friends with the school weirdo, until an unfortunate party accident ended that. Now, months later it is the weekend party in the country, just past the last gas station (sans The Harbinger) on an absolutely lovely isolated ranch. Each of the boys attending intend on having their way with Mandy, despite the more than willing girls already in attendance. Probably in spite of.

Are you surprised if I say someone starts picking them off?

**SPOILERS**

You don't like any of these popular kids, not even the likable one, so you don't mourn their deaths. And its not about creative murder, like so many others, but more about the proper why of the slashing. And when it all spins down to the inevitable end, we are only mildly surprised.  What did surprise is how well Amber Heard pulls it off. Doing an entire 180 from quiet, demure Mandy to knife fondling, girlfriend gutting murderous Mandy is not shocking but entirely convincing.

Her manipulated little weirdo "just friends" boy wants to be the latest spree killer in the news but not if she has her way. Its the dead cow pit for him. And why she does all of this is never explained, leaving Mandy as the perfect sociopath, having punished the kids that deserve punishment (but no, not death) and driving off into the sunset with the last surviving boy whom Mandy shouldn't want. But...

31 Days of Halloween 2015: Double Dose of Little Blighters

Cooties, 2014, Jonathan Milott, Cary Murnion -- download
Ich Seh, Ich Seh, Severin Fiala, Veronika Franz -- download

Marmy wanted to catch up to the pure idea of doing 31 movies during the month. Even if I had already filled my own quota with the two TV shows, I was happy either way. So we grabbed two that have been doing the blog circuit, one an Austrian creepy thriller and the other a comedy zombie romp.  Both focus on kids, so consider this our Child Free entry for the month.  *evil grin*

I am not sure why but Ich Seh, Ich Seh gets called Goodnight Mommy in its English release, which is not even a straight translation. I guess the reference to a child's song would not carry any weight in North America, but I still hate when they do that. If its a phrase that doesn't translate into English, then sure, but if the words have meaning, use em.

The movie takes place in the countryside, in an old wood near a lake next too which stands a modern house marking wealthy inhabitants. Twin boys run around, playing by themselves in the woods and lake with no supervision. Mommy is returning home soon, from her surgery in the city. To begin with, the weirdness of them being left alone while mom is away is somewhat jarring, and never explained. It establishes the off kilter place we are presented, and lends itself to our sharing the same belief as the kids -- that the woman all wrapped in plastic surgery bandages might not be their mother. The other weirdness, is that mom only ever addresses one child at a time, and poor Lukas is ignored.

**SPOILER**

It took Marmy about 10 minutes to guess the twist but I was of the idea it was supposed to be telegraphed to the audience -- Lukas is dead; he drowned in the lake. I wanted the movie to be more about how things will progress, and not the sixth sense of only one of the children being alive. Is Mommy their mommy? What the hell happened? Why did she go away? Why were they unsupervised? Why, if she is their real mother, is she so fucking strange?

Alas, the movie indeed seemed focused on the twist, and really, the only way I could explain to myself the oddness of all the dealings and circumstances was that we are seeing entirely through Elias's eyes -- he doesn't understand what has been going on, having been a bit broken since his brother's death. It does explain how the boys end up being quite the horrible little things, doing nasty things to Mommy, when they cannot get her to prove she is their mother. That they would even torture a strange pretending to be their mother, says a lot of about these/this boy(s).

Creepy little fuckers.

Speaking of little fuckers, Cooties is really about how bad kids can get. OK ok, only how bad they can get if infected by some sort of zombie virus. The movie begins with a vegan propaganda film about chicken nuggets being processed. OK ok, maybe not so much propaganda as reality, but the added disturbing bit is something green dripping in and becoming a nugget on its way to a kids cafeteria, to be bitten into by the 'cootie girl'. Dash dash dot dot, she wished she had her cootie shot.

Fort Chicken produces mounds of chicken nuggets. Clint (Elijah Wood) as recently moved back to work on his novel, but really, has just failed at getting away from his hometown. Fate finds teaching at the elementary school where he went. And where his teen crush (Alison Pill) works along with her PE boyfriend (Rainn Wilson) and the other oddballs on the faculty.

The story quickly progresses as cootie girl infects the rest of her class and they all become ravenous monsters that eat most of the staff and leave the rest of the run. Jokes and blood spills forth as all the cliches are broadcast and despite a recognizable capable cast, the plot is humdrum run of the mill by the numbers. As expected as I am to use catch phrases and overused writing idioms, the movie jumps on the expected bits of humour.  Its not offensive or tiresome, except when it wants to be, but there was nothing really new or particularly well done.  All acceptable, popcorn and chuckles.

I did chuckle at the scene where they comment on the montage gearing up scene, before the launched into it. But that was only because all the video games I have been playing, that involve slaughtering zombies, have had their full share of McGyver'd weapons.

31 Days of Halloween 2015: The Quiet Ones

2014, John Pogue (writer Ghost Ship, Rollerball) -- download

Jared Harris in two horror movies in a row, is now our GoTo Guy for ghost hunters, as he was basically the same character in this movie and Poltergeist, albeit altered by his time between the 1970s to now.

Harris plays Professor Joseph Coupland who is running an experiment on a young girl named Jane. Jane has pretty much been possessed since childhood, but Coupland doesn't believe in possession. Jane must be manifesting telekinetic abilities and if manipulated properly, she can expel all this negative energy as a single entity, named by Jane as Evie. The professor has some loyal followers helping him and brings in Sam Claflin (Finnick in The Hunger Games) as a new cameraman.

This is actually a Hammerfilm, and if you watch it in that context it is actually much better. Hammerfilms are expected to be a bit cheesy and over the top but taking themselves very very seriously. This movie definitely wants to be a creepy exploration of psychic powers that prove themselves to be something much more dark. Alas, as a stand alone movie, I am not sure how it ended up on so many Best Of 2014 lists, as it was only acceptable.

Olivia Cooke is quite good as Jane, the child not allowed to grow up, but possessed of an alluring / scary look & feel. As the rest of the cast was limited, there could have been much more detailed and attentive use of the actors, but really, it wasted the opportunity. Cookie cutter sex triangles and conflict was not as intriguing as the potential of what the truth behind Jane could have been. But was the truth satisfying?  No, not really. And to be a proper Hammer ending, there needed to be much more melodramatic of a climax.

Again, great poster though.

31 Days of Halloween 2015: Poltergeist

2015, Gil Kenan (City of Ember) -- download

You know, I wasn't convinced Sam Rockwell could pull off being a dad & family man. He always plays the dorky character who cannot keep a straight line. But as we settled into the story of a dad leading his family to a new neighbourhood, because he has been out of work for so long they cannot afford their last house, the dorkiness kind of works. King of the Dad Jokes. And once the movie leads the daughter to the other  of the TV screen, he really owns it. Oh, did I spoil it for you? Really?  You are not not intimately aware of the original Poltergeist and its child eating closet ? A whispered, "They're here....." is not part of your pop culture lexicon?  Poor you.

So, its not a new house, so part of me immediately wondered, "Then why this family? Why not the family who had the house before them?" Sure, everyone knows it used to sit above a graveyard and who wants the power lines so close to a large neighbourhood?  Well, Hamilton of course. Cough. Anywayz, its not the house but the daughter she is a sensitive that the evil dead things on the other side want to help them reach "the light". That part never struck me as well thought through. The Light? Are these scary mofos going to make it into said Light, assuming some semblance of Judeo Christian mythology?  Nuh uh, they are sacrificing a child to get there; I would expect something with a red bulb, something on the ground of this Other Realm, not the classic white light in the sky.

Some had accused the movie of being a photocopy of the first. In basic plot, yes. In recreating all the classic scenes: grabby trees, evil clowns.... sorry, toy clowns, TVs with child's voices, ropes into closets and out through ceilings, etc. All the great stuff is there -- alas, no Hulk toy riding a horse. And they update the scary little lady with Jared Harris as Carrigan Burke, the psychic soldier with his own reality TV show. Burke is incredible, a guy who runs a show that everyone doubts but has encountered so much real real evil entities, he has the scars to prove it. He knows what is going on, and gets right down to saving the girl. But the movie does really feel new.

In the end, I rather enjoyed this light hearted romp into recreation. It was well pulled off, but came and went from the collective mind, that I don't know anyone who even knows it happened. It is original feeling but not enough so, nor skillfully created enough to really, truly stand out. Like much of the horror genre, it remains OK, a stable, solid example of the genre. If I truly enjoyed anything, it was the obvious truly heartfelt connectivity of this family, and the noble switchover of son Griffin, from scared wallflower into the hero he needs to be, to protect his little sister.

31 Days of Halloween 2015: iZombie S2E1

2015, The CW -- TV

Wait, have I ever used a tagged to infer I actually watched this on broadcast TV ? Weird. Also weird, but I did this back in 2011 with The Walking Dead, not broadcast, but used the first episode of the season as one of the night's viewing cheats. Also, I am surprised this show didn't already make it into an I Am Watching or One Episode post. Weird.

Diane Ruggiero & Rob Thomas, who were responsible for Veronica Mars, loosely adapt the Mike Allred comic (which I have not read), to focus on a girl who is a zombie, but not the shambling undead type, just a normal dead white girl with a thirst for brains. If she doesn't regularly chow down on them, she can become a ravenous monster. She was made a zombie after an ill fated boat party. The fact there are not tons of ravenous creatures out there is either not explained, or glossed over -- I cannot remember -- but Liv Moore (get it?) survives because of her job at the morgue. The side effect of eating brains is that you get memory flashes and personality traits of the eaten dead.

Liv pretends she is a psychic and works with Detective Babineaux to fight crime. Meanwhile her family & friends feel alienated as her (hidden) zombie state has derailed her life. She doesn't explain the dead white skin & hair, nor her reclusive attitudes, but as the first season progressed, and through the friendship of Ravi (who I assumed was named Robbie throughout most of season 1) she regains some semblance of humanity, while investigating a cure and foiling the plans of a master zombie who feeds the undead of Seattle through his hipster butcher shop. And breathe. That was a hell of a sentence.

Season 2 picks up with her having reverted an evil master zombie, and her ex-fiance (Major Lillywhite -- best zombie name ever), to human form -- two separate guys, BTW.  The latter was because she had to "convert" him to save his life (after which she immediately cured him) and the former, to foil his nefarious plans to create a criminal underground of zombies. Meanwhile she couldn't cure herself, because she used it all up, nor provide her brother with a life saving blood transfusion because... well, because, you know. Instant family rift.

This show is just pure fun.

So, here is Liv once again on the outs with her ex-fiance, still playing psychic buddy to a cop and still at odds with the evil master (ex)zombie. Their not at all realistic banter is the best ("Whitey Shamblemore begs to differ"), especially considering they are supposed to hate each other. The conspiracy of the evil energy drink company continues, and is expands, as they monitor Liv and her friends.  As with many first episodes of the second season, they don't try and reinvent the wheel, just let it roll. Further plot expansion will happen as they pick up things, like how the Utopian street drug will play into things, and how are the city's zombies feeding themselves now that the hipster butcher is gone.

I like this show.

31 Days of Halloween 2015: You're Next

2011, Adam Wingard (segments in ABCs of Death, V/H/S) -- download

Right off the bat the creators run with some classic horror tropes -- unfulfilling sex between an asshole (ugly one to boot) and pretty girl leads to their death. I am not sure why they killers in their fun but creepy animal masks decide to write YOU'RE NEXT in a very carefully kerned font before taking out the next person, but they do. It never really has a reason beyond some breaking the fourth wall bit of weirdness. Considering there were only two people in the house, it was pretty evident. But preamble death complete, onto the story.

You're Next is actually a lot of fun (are we allowed to say the murder of several people is fun?) and a rather good twist of the usual 'murder a house full of people' plot. The Davisons are gathering in their dad's fixer upper in the country, for a weekend celebration of the parents' 35th anniversary. Said fixer upper is a multi million dollar home because Dad is a wealthy retired defense contractor. The family includes wimpy teacher son Crispin (go figger, with that name), not doing well for himself in academia, upstanding aggressive son Drake who always picks on Crispin, gothy (black clothes always mean death worshipping goth, duhh) reprobate Felix and bubble headed daughter Aimee. They all pretty much hate each other, much to the embarrassment of parents and partners. The weekend starter argument is interrupted by a crossbow bolt through the forehead of Aimee's new beau Tariq (director Ti West). The Fox, the Lamb and the Tiger masks are hunting down the family one by one.

The fun twist is that Crispin's girlfriend, the TA he shouldn't have started a relationship, is not only in control of her emotions, but takes control of the situation. No screaming, running crazily into the night, but a collected gathering of weapons and skilled fighting back. So, as one by one, the family and partners are killed off, so too are the hunters. Chop, stab, slash, smoosh.  And blender. Rather than spoiling everything, there is a method to the madness on both sides of the machete, but the whole movie title is never explained. I get it, gimmick for our benefit but...

3 Short Paragraphs: No Reservations

2007, Scott Hicks (Snow Falling on Cedars ) -- Netflix

Even though most of my energy will be to the horror movie I just watched, I have to clear these out before they get relegated to the I Saw tag.  Seems rude for some of them; for others, like this one, not so much. Normally food movies are always a good pick for a day when nothing else on the My List hits, and one that is a remake of a popular European movie usually makes for a win. All of the great food movies are remakes of others (slap me on that one; the originals are great to begin with) and there are only a few that originated over here. I refuse to link to any listicals as they all seem to want to include Charlie & the Chocolate Factory. A pile of giant candy does not a food movie make.

This is a remake of  the German movie Mostly Martha, and not a dramatization of the Anthony Bourdain book. The latter would have been better. Kate is the chef at a popular resto in Manhattan. She dedicates her entire life to the place, focusing on food all day and often all night and even waking up on her days off to visit the early markets. The movie wants us to believe it is to her detriment, but really, the people in the kitchen like her and its only her inability to deal with asshole customers that sends her to a shrink. The sudden death of her sister plops a niece in her lap and the single woman has to learn about life work balance.

This is a good plot. She accepts her new role as adoptive mom and attempts to insert the new relationship into the existing working one. Things don't work out and her work begins to suffer, which then inserts Aaron Eckert into the resto. More conflict. All good for drama. But the movie presents everything in a quick cut, snap snap snap snap snap snap, style that never allows anything to be absorbed. I just never felt a story was being told, which would have been forgivable if I was looking forward to the next food scene, but those were sorely lacking, making me doubt it was even a proper food movie.

Plus, I never trust a movie with only one known poster.

31 Days of Halloween 2015: Fear the Walking Dead

2015, AMC -- download

The premise of Fear the Walking Dead is a great one -- if the main series started weeks after the outbreak, how did it come about?  OK, not exactly how it came to happen, but more, what was it like in those early hours, days and weeks? What was the fall like? What was it like when nobody believed it was happening? Origin story its not, but introduction it is.

The fucking problem is that they spun the drama in the same exact way as they narrowed the plot on The Walking Dead. Again, we have to deal with fearing the humans more than we have in fearing the dead. Yes, I get it, that is the successful formula that draws in the viewers, but this is a new show, couldn't we have had at least one decent person? And I mean a decent person who isn't proven to be a liability?

I fear the world we are living in where we accept doing whatever it takes, no matter the cost. And our pop culture reflects us, so...

The show starts with introducing us to two connected families. Travis is dating Madison but was married to Liza. There are teens in each family, including Maddie's heroin addict son Nick, the first to experience the walking dead, as his (dead) junkie (ex?)girlfriend eats the rest of the junkies in their shooting gallery. The slow burn of the first episode shows strong bonds between them all, albeit strained ones. The hints of what is to come are there, with fewer and fewer students showing up at the school where Maddie and Travis work, weird stories in the news, and the basement dwelling internet kid spouting enigmatic "it's happening!" rants.

There were a lot of complaints about the first episode, in that it was too slow and didn't have enough zombies in it. Oh shut up; how can you do a proper intro story if you don't take your time and establish the characters and the environment they are living in? How can you see how quickly civilization falls if you don't actually see the calm but nervous exterior of it? If I had any problem is that they didn't establish it enough. Where was the flu that was killing people? Oh there were minor mentions of it keeping students at home, but nobody actually is sick in the entire episode. Well, nobody that isn't already bitten. The virus killed people as a flu to begin with, before people got back up and bit other people, then continuing the infection. The primary element of the first series is not that the main characters are survivors but also immune and/or carriers of the virus. If they got sick, they beat it, if they ever got sick to begin with. And where was the social media? Sure, the internet kid knew things few others did but if this was happening nation wide, it would have been all over Facebook and Twitter. But no, they made vague comments about the Internet being down and moved on. They do understand that is why and how the Internet was made, right? It doesn't go down because some cities go black. It finds the route around. Oh well, this is Your Parent's internet -- not understood.

The fall happens by episode three, leading all the characters back together behind quickly built fences and chain link gates. The Army is here to protect them, but no not really, because this is a WD show, and thus the army is as much or more an enemy than their dead neighbours. Abuse, corruption and an agenda that expands far beyond protecting civilians is at play. But why? Why the fuck would the American government sink resources and men into temporarily protecting people if their final agenda was not to actually do so? It was a means to a conflict for the show, which didn't ring so true.

Amongst our main survivors, Travis stands as the naive one, where I just wanted him to be the moral one. They keep on proving him wrong and he keeps on being a decent, stand up guy. Its like the show thinks helpful, nice people are morons and the only ones who should survive are evil people. They even present the capable survivor as a man who once "disappeared" people in El Salvador, a torturer and evil regime man who fled the country when his power base was taken down. He is presented as the hero who figures things out. Again and again, Travis is proven an idiot, until finally, he himself is given so much evidence of the necessary evils in man, that he believes it himself.

Talk about bleak.

In the last few scenes of the last episode, the junkie character Nick is relaxed and even toned, even though he hasn't had his fix in ages. No longer jonesing, no longer detoxing, he seems somewhat... happy. When asked, he claims that all his life he has been trapped in this nightmare, and finally, it seems like the rest of the world is catching up. While part of me cringes at that, I actually see that. As one of those guys who always felt at odds with the world, never fitting in, never part of the wife, family, house, job world (but not really having any viable alternatives) I get what he is saying. He now no longer has to worry about being the standup guy, like his mother's BF, he can just be a survivor like everyone else. And if there is anything a junkie is good at, its surviving when all is at its worse.

Again, weeeee bleak.

31 Days of Halloween 2015: A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night

2014, Ana Lily Amirpour -- download

Yeah, I am not sure what to make of that one. This is one of those times where I need to see what other people said, in order to gel the collection of thoughts racing around up there into something cohesive. But first, the basics.

This is a black & white movie set in an imaginary Iranian world, a run down oil town called Bad City. I say imaginary, because the strict rules we know to be in existence in Iran seem to be... lacking in this movie. A pimp who looks like Ninja from Die Antwoord hassles the handsome young rocker and his father, who happens to be junkie. A young girl in chador and stylish breton stripe top (mod to his rocker) walks the dark streets alone at night, and turns out to be the town's vampire. Hookers, artfully placed (but not plotted) transexuals and kids in beat up tweed jackets also wander the broken down streets. And a balloon and a cat. The cat has the best role.

Its as if someone thought a chador sort of looked like Dracula's cape and ran with it. "Fresh take on the vampire mythos," is the usual thing reviewers say when they have nothing to say about the vampire mythos. There is no mythos here, just a morose "young" girl (remember, vampire main characters are rarely actually young) who eats people and feels a little sad about it. Let the Right One In did it much much better and this just ends up being a stylish bit of pop art.

As slow paced as Under the Skin was, but without the pay off or shock value, I am not sure the incredibly well shot, well acted bits can make up for this being an utter yawn.

The poster is damn nice.

31 Days of Halloween 2015: The Town That Dreaded Sundown

2014, Alfonso Gomez-Rejon (Glee, American Horror Story) -- download

I just thought, this would probably be better titled 31 Nights of Halloween.

Most recently I commented on It Follows, on movies that are trapped in the 70s, not set in that era but carrying the look & feel of it. The 70s were a key period for horror movies, when genres were created and they jumped out of drive-ins & matinees into prime time viewing and popularity. The Cold War was winding down, so fears shifted to the more local, serial killers and monsters in the woods, religion and familial. So, its not surprising that in the minds of film makers, the 1970s just feels like a place where horror movies happen -- the clothes, the cars, the homes and decor and the attitudes of the people, are how a horror movie appears in the mind of the creator.

The House of the Devil had the feel, its followup The Innkeepers did as well, but it wasn't until It Follows that they just abandoned trying to feel like the 70s, but went for it as a conscious design choice. The Town That Dread Sundown is already a genre bender, being simultaneously a remake and sequel and homage to its predecessor.  But it also choose to have all design elements, clothing, cars and people jump straight out of 1976. But they have the Internet.

The original 1976 movie was about a slasher killer in the 40s, The Phantom Killer, and that movie was set in the 40s. But this movie, set now & then, is about the town of Texarkana, where every Halloween they show the 1976 movie on screens all over both sides of town, the town being divided down the middle, straddling Texas and Arkansas. So, they know about the actual movie, and are the town where the original real killings happened.  Yes, the Phantom Killer is real, as in our real real. The movie begins with a young couple leaving the showing of the movie, heading off to lover's lane, only to be attacked by The Phantom, in his eponymous sack cloth hood, with one blue eye staring out. The young man is killed, but she is spared, so she can spread the word.

At first the genre & time bending is distracting, especially the scene where we are briefly introduced to a soldier returning from overseas, and the airport, his uniform and all the trappings say he is coming back from Vietnam, but we gather it has to be somewhere sandy. Also, I am convinced that the collection of Texas and Arkansas law enforcement officers are meant to appear similar to the original movie, but I cannot confirm, as I have not seen it. But the fact that the original, and I mean real, Texas Ranger who headed the investigation was M. T. "Lone Wolf" Gonzaullas and ours is Lone Wolf Morales, I am not stretching. Luckily, things loosen up as we slip into the plot.

This is not a ground breaker, nor do I think it is trying. Its a slasher flick with some twists. I have to admit, this is the first slasher I have seen who uses a silenced pistol. Addison Timlin is great as the survivor wondering why she was spared, wondering about her connection to all of this (her parents were killed when she was a child, driving her home from a pajama party where the movie was being showed) and doing her own investigation. Quickly, the town assumes its persona, and everyone locks their doors and abandons the streets after dark. Not that it helps.

The most fun parts are where the movie crosses over with investigations into the original, real life, killings and with the 1976 movie itself. The character Charles Pierce, is the son of the original's director (not real, character) and is wrapped up in his father's legacy, and is, of course, one of our suspects, as all proper slasher flicks have to  have us doing most of the proper investigating, while law enforcement stumbles. This movie is pure to that, as we see them accomplishing nothing, but turns it on its head as well. They are investigating but we just don't see it.

In the end, despite her role in the movie having been engineered by the killer himself, she actually plays the proper part in the movie we are watching -- she survives and room is left open for a proper sequel.

31 Days of Halloween 2015: Dark Was the Night

2014, Jack Heller (mostly a producer Bad Milo, The Scribbler) -- download

We like Kevin Durand, that guy from where Kent came from currently playing the rat catcher turned vampire smoosher on the sorely lacking vampire TV show, The Strain, shot here in TO. He has the calm, powerful exterior I like in my heroes. Strangely enough, the star of Stake Land, which Kent and I enjoyed immensely, sits as a supporting character in this movie, and has that same quiet, calm power as Kevin Durand's sheriff character, out to protect his family from CGI wendigos.

Really, is that giving things away? No, not really. Its a monster movie focused around weird things that go stomp in the night, in the woods. Three toed hooved monsters are scaring horses, eating all the deer and driving away the birds. Sheriff Shields, while dealing with the death of a child (Marmy called that one immediately; yes she knows her tropes) and divorce, is also confronted with something perhaps out of legend, that runs quickly on two legs but also disappears into the trees. Why hasn't it already eaten everyone in  town, if its Of Legend? Because it has a remote hunting ground, only recently disturbed by loggers.

I liked this one, but I am always more partial to monster movies than ghosties. Durand may be a bit too sombre and all too often staring sorrowfully at his toes, but he makes the Good Sheriff. He figures out something is there, in a decent amount of time, in order to move the lingering townsfolk (most run off because of a mega snowstorm, not because of monster) into a church with too many windows and wooden doors. And yes, being American, he also brings with him his automatic weapons.

The unbelievably terrible CGI lizard creature with hoofs is dispatched after some guns and a solid stabbing, but ends the movie with something I didn't quite expect -- no, not a single monster, no not The Mated Pair, but.... OK, an entire nest was disturbed up north. When the dozen or so forest rangers show up in the morning, after the snow storm, they are only going to find an empty town filled with blood splatters, gun shot blasts and clawed, splintered wood. Modern day Roanoke, as Marmy put it.

Maybe we should sit down and begin writing the sequel for them.

What I Am Watching: Season(s) Complete

Longmire, Netflix
The Last Ship, TNT
Mr Robot, USA

Its been a while since I covered this topic, and I may have to follow it up soon if I start watching anything regularly this coming fall season. But let's go over some recently completed seasons of shows I enjoyed.

Longmire was cancelled by A&E last spring and a ton of voices screamed in the darkness, as the cliffhanger shooting of Branch Connelly (yes, still a stupid name) left us hanging.  I've been watching it since it started, and I have become quite invested in those characters. But moreso in the mood of the show. Its a sombre, lone cowboy on the range mood that lingers with me long after the episodes have ended. Its never any one episode or any one thing that sticks, just a theme and feeling left behind as the credits roll.

Netflix walked in like a big ol hero and presented season 4. Against my good judgement, I binge watched over a weekend. Now I have to wait a year for more.

I realized last night as I listened to a mix I made with the closing credit song from the final episode of the season, that I am easily manipulated into watching certain shows. Aging, quiet men with a certain amount of melancholy about them easily click for me. Not always; Hinterland only presented the concept but gave no method of attaching myself to the lead. But in Walander, Case Histories and Longmire I find myself drawn into the melancholy of the characters. Kurt Walander has the weight of the tragedy & horror  he experiences, Jackson Brodie has a terribly tragic past and Walt Longmire starts the series coming out of a depression, after his wife's murder. I am a bit of a brooder, and aging, so its easy to see where I connect with these  guys.

The show has run along the ever connecting thread of the murder of Walt's wife. Each of the three seasons pulled at the fraying mystery, eventually leading us to David Ridges, a "white warrior" and a man in the employ of Jacob Nighthorse, business man and casino builder. But it takes some digging by Branch, the deputy who has been at odds with Sheriff Walt Longmire since the series began, to find the true story. It was Branch's own unhealthy obsession with Ridges that lead him out of the Sheriff's department and into his wealthy father's business. And there he found out the motive and truth behind the murder that spawns the show.

Spoiler spoiler spoiled.

That discovery leads to Branch's death. At the hands of his father. Yes, the show killed of one of main characters, a not entirely unloved character but not a popular one. He was ever the yin to Walt's yang, always doubting, more savvy in the public eye and more likely to play the right game of politics. Walt didn't like him much but finding Branch's body was obviously devastating. Someone in his employ was dead, someone who they suspected (due to delicately placed hints) had committed suicide, someone who Walt had been letting his annoyance win over, instead of catching the terminal details. Walt feels responsible.

This was the kind of plot point you couldn't stretch out for another season, so in three quick episodes they discover Branch did not kill himself and we watch Barlow Connelly struggle with what he has done -- is he faking that breakdown? The arc ends with death by cop, but not quite. Barlow wants to die but Walt also wants  him dead.

The next season.... I mean, episode resumes with Walt on the veranda, the deck that overlooks all that big wide space he owns, a massive amount of mostly untouched green valley. He is reading and reading, drinking can after can of Ranier beer. The FBI investigates, clears Walt and he returns to work a month later. Walt replaces the bookcase he wrecked last season. A new loaner deputy, a new crush for Vic (who has mysteriously dumped her crush on Walt) and its back to business as usual.

So, how does a series continue when the center thread of its plot has been unravelled? Things have been explained. Stories have been summed up. There has been closure. Rightfully, the show doesn't start pulling on another one, but does continue on some lingering secondary plot points from seasons past. The hated casino has been built, bringing new crime and new reasons to loathe Jacob Nighthorse. Cheyenne Batman Hector is dead, but his ghost lives on and Henry steps into his shoes. This is primarily Henry's season, one where he gets to speak more than calm, incredibly articulate one liners. We see emotional development, expansion and struggle. The tension between Vic and Walt is explored in other, less healthy ways leading to another season ending cliffhanger. No yarn sized thread to follow, just a whole lot of threads woven together by the characters we have already become attached to.

Darn nabbit, I shouldn't have binge watched.

The Last Ship is my anti-Walking Dead. Where the latter is all about the failure of mankind, and not much about the rise above its weaknesses, the former is all about that. I have mentioned it is centered on the rah-rah American ideal, one generated by co-creator Michael Bay, but one that is sorely needed in this show. The planet has been mostly devastated by a virus, and it needs the last known working American naval ship to continue working on the cure, and more importantly, bring it to the people.

Last season ended with the cure found and the Last Ship dealing with the first despotic remnant of a government they find. With her put down, the crew's next step is to work with land based labs, manufacture and distribute the cure, and then see what is left of the world. That is interrupted by a submarine full of madmen who destroy all the labs, firing long range missiles and wiping out so many survivors. Fucking madness. The crew of this sub, of European origins, has already completely nuked France (literally) and devastated the European countryside. Their goal is to infect (and kill) any survivors in order to reveal the naturally immune. The Immunes will then rise up and create a whole new world. Psycho Messiah stuff.

Evil. Very real evil. And a proper Big Bad for the Last Ship and its crew to fight.

The thing I notice about this show, the primary thing that The Walking Dead and The Strain are so rightfully criticized for, is the lack of filler episodes. This show is full steam ahead to a goal and it follows that agenda faithfully. Each and every episode, barring one weird, confusing one about rescuing kids, is about fighting this enemy in The Immunes. Its not as simple as shooting a sub, because, well its a sub. But The Immunes are also winning the land based political and ideological battle via the charisma of its leader and some magical cell phone technology. The crew of the ship are labeled evil aggressors while the immunes secretly deliver the infection via virus laden teddy bears, in case you didn't know they were evil.

Its nice having a shift from current depressing dramatic action to a show where things can go right. The crew is always making strides forward, despite some pretty dramatic losses. They are always focused on doing the right thing. Its an American ideal that hasn't been around since the 80s, before they tainted their own morality with torture and Doing What Has To Be Done. Sure, its a little overbearing, including the addition of a President they can worship, but at least its heart is in the right place.

The whole point of the tortured drama at the heart of The Walking Dead is that we are never sure what Rick is doing is the right thing. Sure, he shows results and protects his people, but at what cost?  The Last Ship wants us to like and respect the people involved. And I do.

Mr Robot was a profound shift in my television watching this season. The hacker (that's belittling it, really) show that borrows ideas and thoughtspaces from so much else, just perfectly clicked with me. After that astounding first episode, I was hooked.

Profound shift? Despite the prevalence of non-standard TV and my accessibility to it, the non-network shows like True Blood, The Walking Dead, Mad Men, etc. in the last few years, I have been watching less of those. TV has once again started to feel like derivative crap. Or at least a big bag of meh. I haven't been as faithful to my What I Am Watching but take my word for it, I have mostly reverted back to network TV and familiar downloads. Standard TV is easier to digest than getting indigestion from cable shows that disappoint.

But Mr Robot feels so different, so utterly new, I had to watch.

Elliot, our "hero" is a socially awkward, emotionally damaged hacker working for a software security firm. He is also being coaxed into a hack which will have world wide ramifications. I covered all this in my review of episode one, but it sits as the plot of the entire season, even as we learn more about Evil Corp and what it has personally done to Elliot and his family. Evil Corp -- initially called E Corp, but then Elliot references "everyone calls it Evil Corp" and then for the rest of the show, everyone does. We are seeing this world through Elliot's eyes, slightly skewed, painfully truthful and somewhat shadowy. We are, afterall, Elliot's imaginary friend.

Hello friend. Don't read if you don't want to be spoiled.

In my commentary on the first episode, I mention Mr Robot might not be real. Taking on the idea that the show is borrowing / homage-ing Fight Club, Mr Robot (played by Christian Slater) is the show's Tyler Durden, and once you approach the show with that premise in your head, things become so much fun. Wait, wasn't he just interacting with someone?  Oh but there is Elliot in the background, sitting alone, not being noticed or interacting. And if this is true, then when Elliot is introduced to the hacker group F* Society, for the first time, then he is.... introducing.... himself? Yeah, Elliot is much more messed up then the first episode suggested.

Then the show trips over the Sony hacks and the Ashley Madison hacks and references to the Planetary comic and and and.... This show will require another watching to just enjoy the second level of references. Detailed, intricate, involving.  Weeee,

31 Days of Halloween 2015: Last Shift

2014, Anthony DiBlasi (Dread) -- download

This year we resurrect (raise from the dead; make undead) our binge watching of movies appropriate to the Halloween season. No, not all horror movies because, and you can read me in detail going on about this in previous years, it is always so often difficult to classify a movie as horror, if it is not entirely meant to scare you. Comedy horrors, monster flicks, psychological thrillers all are perfect for Halloween watching, but not always horror. So, into the fray once more go we.

We, Marmy and me, not Graig and me.  Kent is not much for the horror, especially the crap horror we often watch. It is still hard to find quality stuff for this binge, especially since we may have already seen the best of the last year or so already.

Last Shift is about a young rookie cop spending the night in a small police station on its last night. before it is shut down. The crime scene clean up crew is showing up in the wee hours of the morning to collect the last of the last of the bloody, contaminated contents of the evidence locker. Rookie has to hang around and let them in. No one else is in the station. Well, no one but her and the ghosts.

So, explain this element of horror movies to me, where the ghosts walk by in the shadows behind the main character but not seen by the main character. What is the fucking point of a ghost trying to scare the person on the other side of the fourth wall but not their victim? Why? Yes, I am asking about the ecology of evil spirits. As a D&D player, this would be in the third paragraph of their monster entry -- their motivations. But no, I can see no point.

Also, chair stacking? That tried and true characteristic of poltergeists? Do they suddenly gain extreme dexterity in the afterlife?  Unlike that guy on Queen W who stacks rocks on rocks, ghosts often seem to be able to defy gravity with their quick and skillful stacking. I would be applauding, not nervous. OK, maybe a little nervous.

So, yes, this station is filled with over the shoulder scares and stacked chairs. Just over a year ago, the cops brought in three members of a murder cult. They leader and his last two minions had just finished murdering seven women and a few cops when they were taken down and dragged to this small station. One of those cops was the rookie's daddy. She is a bird with a broken wing, but picking up where he left off.

What continues is a decently produced & directed scary jump movie but oh so filled with the tiring irrationalities of someone being messed with by ghosts. Even once she starts putting two and two together, she doesn't summon other cops or go running into the night. Nope, stay by the phone, investigate every fricking noise and ignore the anal retentive placement of crime scene photos placed on the hallway floor. She even doesn't get phased by the friendly ghost of her father's partner, who again, just messes with her. She stays when she should go and she doesn't tell the people she should.

The trope after trope display goes nowhere and ends up in the fulfillment of the murder cult's legacy -- to drag her down into hell with them, because her daddy took them down. With weird minor hints of an evil older than the Devil, she doesn't stand a chance against them. Both Marmy and I wished the movie could have had her pick up in a battle against these creatures of the shadows, maybe finally assisted by her daddy or his hole-in-his-head partner. Alas no, she just kills Joe and has to be put out of her own misery.