KWIF(+6): No One Will Save You (+3)

KWIF is Kent's Week in Film where each week (ha!) I have a spotlight movie which I write a longer, thinkier piece about, and then whatever else I watched that week I do a quick little summary of my thoughts. This entry, however, is what I watched this week, as well as the two films I watched within the six weeks prior to this. I really stepped away from watching movies for a while, if for no other reason than I knew I wouldn't have time to do these write-ups. Nobody asks me to do these, yet for some reason they're a burden I carry. I'm grateful for Toasty to have a partner in crime with this weird obsession of recording our viewing habits in words.  It'd be easier and certainly much, much faster to have a podcast or a youtube channel where we get together for an hour and talk through our viewing habits, but then I think for both of us our comfort zone is writing, not talking. But I digress....

This week:
No One Will Save You (2023, Brian Duffield - Disney+)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (2023, Jeff Rowe - In Theatre)
Polite Society (2023, Nida Manzoor - AmazonPrime)
M3GAN (2023, Gerard Johnstone - AmazonPrime)

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If you've not heard of the new movie No One Will Save You, it's no surprise. It's a mid-budget alien invasion film with a big storytelling conceit that Hulu/Disney have decided to bury on their streaming services with no fanfare.  It is the type of film that could have had a mildly successful box-office run, but instead it seems like it might be the next victim to the black-hole-tax-dodge strategy of burying art and content that streaming services have decided is the way to stay afloat.

If you have heard of NOWSY, it's more than likely because you saw a review on youtube or saw it trending on Letterboxd (like me) than stumbled across it on Hulu/Disney. I have seen no promotion at all for this film.  Which is a shame, because a simple one minute, cleverly edited trailer would make this very enticing for someone, like myself, who likes sci-fi and aliens. It is a film chock full of great visuals that would lend themselves well to a trailer.

The film has to be very visual, because it is otherwise a largely dialogue-free film. There are less than ten audible words uttered in the entire run time. It is, indeed, a bit of a gimmick that is stressed at its seams. There are points in the film that, should logically have words said, but because of the conceit, there are none.  It's not a silent film, as there is plenty of noise, screams, heavy breathing, and even aliens talking in their own gutteral warble and in one scene a background din of indiscernible conversations.  It's both part of what makes the film stand out, but also what lessens its success. There is a stretching of disbelief happening when the character isn't, say, yelling at aliens or (the point that rubbed me the wrong way the most) saying something to the bus driver.

The plot of the film is pretty basic. Brynn (Kaitlyn Deever, Booksmart) is a young woman who lives alone in a remote house in a small town. She is into very 50's-ish kind of hobbies like dressmaking, big band records, two-step dancing, and she doesn't seem to partake much in modern conveniences like cel phones or television, and seems to only use the computer to sell her dresses online.  For reasons unknown at first, she both is reticent to go into town and is spurned by some of the people there.  She obviously has done something in her past to make her an outcast, but she's not seemingly old enough to have to pay for it in the way that she is.  This is the thread the entire character is built on... the "what did she do" question... and what the alien invasion, which starts very, very quickly, seems somehow tied into.

The story weaves in and out of Brynn's fight for survival as, at first, one alien comes to her homestead. After surviving the night, she must brave her other fears and head into town for help, but she learns immediately things are even more dire, and that it's not just about her. More aliens, more threats... and it's this constant danger-at-every-turn aspect of the film that works best. 

The alien design is basically the most popular variations of the "grays", the lanky, scrawny, big tear-drop headed, black eye, slit-mouthed, gaunt creatures popularized since the post Roswell.  The first version we see is the standard humanoid, but later we see the diminutive primal version, with short legs and long arms, kind of monkey-like, and then the spider-ish versions with limbs that look like daddy long-legs.  They all look great.  The UFOs are well done and have an unknowable sensibility to them.  Yes, they can look like a conventional flying disc, but how they manoeuvre and their capabilities are kind of mind blowing.  The alien invasion is incredibly well done.

But Brynn's story arc is a let down. There were many angles that the film could have taken this to tie in the invasion to Brynn's past, but it's not at all, and so there is a sense of disconnect in how neatly this film could have fit together. The end of the film is probably its lowest point, making an unclear statement about both our characters' morals and the film's ultimate point.

I suspect the wordless storytelling conceit is what the "purple suits" (as Toasty likes to call studio execs) got nervous about and stopped them from releasing this theatrically.  I realize there's an expense to putting movies out into cinema, but dumping them to streaming is so lazy and unadventurous. The purple suits are so risk averse these days, to the point that they would rather take what had the potential for a sleeper hit, and essentially dispose of it.  It is not the most successful film in terms of character story, but it does deliver an exciting survival tale that probably would have had some mass appeal.  But what do I know.

(But is it horror? - maybe a little scary for younger audiences, but not really)

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Though I am a child of the 80's, someone who loves comic books, toys, and cartoons, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were never my thing. But as a comic/toy/cartoon lover, I've always stuck a toe into every iteration of TMNT, always stayed a little bit aware as to what was happening with them.  Even still, I've never been entirely enamoured with the property.  Whatever its legion of multi-generational followers see in it, I've just never really been able to get too excited about or too invested in.  The two peaks of interest for me would have been the original 1990 TMNT: Fall of the Foot Clan Game Boy cartridge and then the 2012 Nickelodeon TMNT series that my kid really got into when they were about 4.  They were fun, but never inspired any real devotion in me.

When I saw the first trailer for Mutant Mayhem, the newest iteration of TMNT coming from the pen of Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg, I thought "this may be it, this may be the one". The trailer showed off a visual design that (finally) was showing the influence Into the Spider-Verse has had on the animation industry, finally breaking the choke hold of bloopy, soft-edged, big-headed animation that has dominated North American mainstream since the Pixar era began. It's a design that recalls the old four-colour separation of comics, as well as the outside-the-lines spraypaint aesthetic of street art, and it's really quite attractive, especially when put against a sea of same-old-same-old designs.  The trailer was also funny, which I would expect nothing less from a Rogen-Goldberg product. And, over the trailer, played A Tribe Called Quest's "Can I Kick It" which is an all-time favourite of mine.  I had had high hopes.

I've lived through at least a dozen iterations of TMNT and, well, this is another one. The voice cast is great, the tweaks to the team dynamic is very welcome (they are very, very brotherly, and also very teenager-y), the spin on the rogues gallery was surprising, there were some good laugh lines, some solid action (a lot of Jackie Chan-inspired fighting, apt given that Chan is voicing Splinter), and, yeah, a dad-rap soundtrack that seemed pulled from a playlist from my 1st generation iPod.  I did enjoy the film. Truly. But whatever it is about the Turtles that doesn't inspire my devotion is still not present in this iteration.  

The film is a swift 100 minutes, and is genuinely interested in the Turtles, April and Splinter as characters, but it doesn't really know what to do about its plot. The story is mostly about the Turtles wanting to be a part of the surface world, to have a real teenage life, and how Splinter is such a fearful helicopter parent that it keeps them hesitant and feeling alone (despite having each other).  But the conflict, the "Superfly" and his gang of mutants, their objectives, and how they're integrated into the film seems a bit undercooked (I have to wonder if the film was edited down as it seems like there should be more to it all). 

I'm not eagerly awaiting or excited about whatever's next for this TMNT run (another cartoon series and a second movie planned, I believe) and it's unlikely I'll pay much attention to it until it's in my face.

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I haven't seen Nida Manzoor's We Are Lady Parts, the 2021 British comedy series about an all-female muslim punk band, but I've heard it's wonderful and it's been on the list for a while. When Manzoor's Polite Society was in select theatres earlier this summer, from poster and description alone, I made note of it but didn't manage to catch it on the big screen (I bailed on seeing it twice...too much dividing my attention).  

When it popped up on streaming, it became the only "must watch" of my "gap month".  I have this nasty habit of getting excited about watching things immediately, but if I don't my enthusiasm wanes. So I made a point of putting this film on and had an absolute blast with it.

Ria Khan (the inviting Priya Kansara, Bridgerton) is a high school student in London with a devotion to becoming a stunt woman. She practices martial arts and, with the help of Lena (Ritu Arya, Umbrella Academy), her art-school dropout sister, she makes stunt videos she posts on youtube. Her teachers, counsellors, and parents don't have any faith in the path she's on but she's fixated, passionate, and dreams of nothing more. But when Lena catches the eye of the most in-demand looking-for-a-wife single at an Eid celebration, Ria's focus becomes more and more fixated on getting in the way of whatever is happening there, seeing malice in Lena falling in love and abandoning her artistic passions.

Given the description, you're probably not expecting a lot of kung-fu and supervillainy, but that's exactly what you find in this film. It's a film that's stylish in a pop-art kind of way, with a thumping spaghetti western-meets-Bollywood soundtrack that constantly sets and resets the scene.  It's light on its feet and full of sly British humour.  It's never taking itself too seriously from a production standpoint, but it grounds itself fully in Ria's obsessions and delusions and everything in between.  It's kind of fluffy, a little weird, but supremely entertaining.

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I missed out on 2023's first big breakout success, and by the time M3GAN hit streaming I had already heard enough about it that I didn't feel I was missing anything. But knowing what happens in a film and experiencing a film I'm keenly aware are two very different things (I'm frequently having to tell my kids this, who experience cinema primarily via youtube breakdowns/teardowns).  Plus, I've started to consider that James Wan just might have the sensibilities as a storyteller (here with a co-story credit) that I really key into.

I freaking loved M3GAN. It's totally predictable, and yet somehow that predictability is absolutely thrilling.  Everything that happens, you want to happen, because the film sets you up for it to happen. 

The chief complaint about M3GAN - the story of the world's most advanced robotic companion doll who gains its own sense of independence and goes on a killing spree - is that it's not gory enough, that it doesn't show you M3GAN's kills, just maybe the bloody aftermath. I'm not a horror and gore aficionado, but it feels like forever since we've had a film like this that can be a tween's entry point into horror, because it's not really a horror movie. It's more a monster adventure akin to Gremlins or Tremors than it is to A Nightmare on Elm Street or Candyman.  

Johnstone's direction has a real polish to it, a sense that he knew exactly what tone the screenplay (from Akela Cooper) was taking, and his collaborators on light, sound, art design and all around new exactly what to deliver.  There's some very striking imagery in the film, but Johnstone never stops for too long to pat him and his team on the back. There's a focussed A-to-B-to-C path here and it's delightful. 

M3GAN has become an instant icon, and now I understand why. 

(But is it horror? - Yes, it's junior level, or entry-level horror, fun for the whole family)

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3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): Retribution

2023,  Nimród Antal (Predators) -- download

I honestly expected I would have a few posts of movies with Antal, lumping him into the category of "European directors provided the occasional Hollywood flick because they made a name for themselves", but, really, Predators was the only one I wrote about. But I do recall seeing and really enjoying 2003's Kontroll which means here, in Toronto, so likely Toronto After Dark or TIFF ? Also, he has done more in Hollywood than he ever did when he moved to Hungary to build a film career, actually have been born in California.

Anywayz. Another Liam Neeson as aging ____ movie (never really did the tag) and I still think they are being muddy with his supposed age in these movies. Neeson is 71. In the movie, he has two teenage kids and worked as a financier for his German company for 18 years. That would have made him 53 before he started working there and had the kids. I shouldn't be ageist, as it is possible to start a life in your mid-fifties, but ... likely? Let's just chalk it up for my own age and identity issues.

Anywayz. Matt Turner (Liam Neeson, The Ice Road) is a financier who very quickly is portrayed as a bit shady, a bit manipulative and is used by his CEO Anders Muller (Matthew Modine, Stranger Things) to get clients to do as is needed. And there is tension in his family. On his way driving his kids to school, something he never does, he is contacted via a planted mobile phone and alerted there is a bomb under his seat. If he stops driving, calls the cops or gets out of the car, it will blow up. To confirm the authenticity of his claims, the masked voice on the other end of the phone blows up one of Turner's colleagues in front of him, which also frames Matt as the bomber. The masked voice wants money, because of course he does, from a hidden slush fund that Matt and Muller have hidden away in Dubai.

The movie is typical cat & mouse, misdirection and chase scenes. Neeson is, of course, very capable as the man trying to wrest back control of a terrible situation and very believable as the fearful dad. The rest is just the usual playbook of these movies, which is not inherently bad, for I did enjoy watching it, as I almost always do, but I wouldn't have complained about a bit more meat to the story.

3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): Nimona

2023,  Nick Bruno, Troy Quane (Spies in Disguise) -- Netflix

Set in a futurist fantasy world, Nimona tells the tale of the Knight Ballister Boldheart accused of murdering his queen and the "villain" he befriends in order to clear his name and bring the real villain to justice. Based on a graphic novel by ND Stevenson, the story is as much about queerness and identity, as much as it is a rollicking adventure, because Nimona is shapeshifter who really doesn't relate to her original form anymore. She comes seeking an ally in Boldheart seeing a chance to be a sidekick to a real villain. But really, neither are villains.

Nimona is a hoot. She's brash, enthusiastic and more than a little chaotic. At first Ballister can barely tolerate her, but as their agendas mesh, he comes to be very fond of her, especially as he learns her backstory. Meanwhile Boldheart is a brave, honourable knight who happens to be gay, but I really like how that is not played into his proposed "villainy" for the other brave knight, tasked with capturing the killer, is his boyfriend Ambrosius Goldenloin (that name, snicker).

I really am doing the "3 short paragraphs" because, despite my real fondness for the movie, it just didn't stick with me. Animation plays the tough game of always having to balance comedy, action, heartfelt messages and amazing visuals. Sometimes the story suffers when they try to be everything to all, and never really find a core element that shines above everything else, that stands out and is memorable. Maybe I could find it in a rewatch, when I was not struggling with the post-10pm-old man's but somehow I still feel I would remain only mildly charmed by the film, while simultaneously absolutely loving Nimona herself. I should probably find and read the graphic novel.

I am not sure those are what I would call "short paragraphs".

3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

2023,  Joaquim Dos Santos, Kemp Powers, Justin K. Thompson -- download

Its always weird trying to do my usual "in parentheses" bit about previous works a Director has done (usually above) when the work is an animation. Something in the way animated movies are done often requires the work of more than one director. I imagine the nature of the creation requires more, but those are the ones that get to put their names on it.

Never is that more apparent in an animation than in a movie set in the Multi Spider-Verse. The movie really goes a long way to play up the differing styles presented in different universes and with different characters, right down to the music choices made, colour palettes and background art styles. 

Of note, another big movie requiring another multi-day rewatch, to generate the buzz in the brain again.

That opening. The painterly approach taken to Gwen's world that both sets the tone for the rest of the movie and reminds us how utterly creative this whole concept is. And all this is just the before-credits opening!

Yeah, I should have seen this movie on the big screen, like Kent, multiple times BUT but, the movie also needs to be seen multiple times on the small screen so you can do "wut?" rewind & pause, just to look at stuph.

Gwen (Hailee Steinfeld, True Grit) is atypical for Spider-Man canon, given that she is Gwen Stacy and not Peter Parker (like, duh). But she shares the contentious relationship with her father figure, her father, and her experiences on Earth 1610 with Mile Morales (Shameik Moore, Samaritan) have strained things between her and people even more so.

What is atypical? Once we poke our head into Spider Central we see a LOT of different spider-folk, who diverge from the central reality a LOT. I suppose we have to consider Earth 616's as the prime Spider-Man, but what is stranger, what is more divergent, a Gwen Stacy spider-person or a cartoon pig or a .... car?

Boing, over to Earth 1610. Miles is growing up. But his world is still bright and bouncy and full of life, and full of four-colour panels. Alas the tension between his family and him continues to grow, mainly because he continues to play the Spider-Man role without telling them. That distracts him, delays him, has him hiding things from his very aware parents. 

Four-colour? No, not really, more "original Spider-Man animated movie from Sony" colour, which is bright and spray paint. Four-colour literally has its own universe.

But, oh boy, is this re-introduction to Miles fun! The Spot (Jason Schwartzman, Asteroid City) ! Cow Man! Dalmatian! A (not!) Villain of the Week who tries really badly to rob an ATM (machine) from a bodega and ends up playing the clown, while declaring really loudly that he is Spider-Man's nemesis. But he kind of is, given that he is (!!!) responsible for the creation of the Miles Morales version of Spider-Man. Which they quickly, without much fanfare, explain why in this version of Earth there was a Peter Parker Spider-Man who died, and he was replaced by a new Spider-Man with some very different powers, totally breaking with the canon. And breaking with the canon is a Big Deal.

The tension with his family, and how much he misses Gwen (and how much she misses him) has him follow her through one of her Spider-Team ("small elite force") dimension hopping holes. Its typical Miles not thinking things through but doing what feels right to him. Gwen is actually on a mission and visiting Miles was a side-quest; she is tracking down The Spot who, because of his emerging multi-verse affecting powers is hopping one from one reality to the next collecting "holes". The danger this carries is never more apparent when they end up in Mumbattan on Earth 50101, which is basically "India Spider-Man" universe. 

The Spot pops into the Alchemax lab to collect his spot energy and damages the building, causing it to fall onto other structures. Earth 50101 is realllllly vertical and really over-populated. While the Spider-folk do what Spider-folk do, and save lots of people, there is no way they get everyone out of all those buildings that are crushed by the falling lab. No matter, the key event is the Gwen Stacy moment where Pavitr Prabhakar (Karan Soni, Safety Not Guaranteed) can either save his GF or her father, the "Captain Stacy" of this world. Miles intervenes and SCRRRRTCH, "canon event interrupted".

What? No mention of Hobie Brown, aka Spider Punk showing up? He really is my favourite of all the alternate Spider-Folk, from an anarchist vs fasco-totalitarian UK Earth depicted as if comics were made like punk rock zines from the 70s & 80s -- badly photo copied and pasted and collaged together with tape & glue. Totally punk rock, dude.

Is the hole growing ever larger fallout from The Spot's damage or is it because Miles saves Police Inspector Singh? No matter, as a bunch of other Spiders-Men show up with tech thingy stuff to contain the damage and the gang have to return to Spider-Society central, and bring Miles along. 

Spider-Society, in a World of the Future. In fact, its the world of Spider-Man 2099, which is in The Future, and is the home of the leader of the Spider-Society, Miguel O'Hara (Oscar Isaac, Moon Knight). Oh boy, there is so much to unpack in this segment. For one, the place is chock full of Spiders-People, of all shapes and sizes and types and origins. Their goal is to keep the canon, to return anomalies to their home universes and repair issues. But as we get deeper, we get he real story, the real story to Miles, to these movies. Miles had been bitten by a spider from Earth 42. The spider had been found by The Spot, in his original role as just another scientist doing stupid stuff. The spider bites Miles, which, according to Miguel's logic, led to the death of Miles's universe's real Spider-Man and the explosion of the Kingpin's dimensional collider thingie which is causing lots of and lots of Spider-Verse damage. He calls Miles the "original anomaly". Does that mean he found out about dimensions after that event, which led him to destroy a universe accidentally by majorly disrupting a canon event? Either way, they want to do something nefarious to Miles and the rest of the gang seems onboard with it, in that they knew about it, and did nothing to stop Miguel. What are they going to do with Miles, beyond letting his own canon event (death of his father) proceed? Who knows, but no matter, as Miles escapes.

Sooooo much to unpack in this segment. Like constantly pausing to look at all the Spiders-People, who are not even always people. There are sooo many types. Pause, look, pause, look, pause, look. Dinosaur?!? But what the fuck are they all doing hanging out here? Shouldn't they be back in their own universes saving people? Isn't hanging out in Miguel's universe depriving villains of the week from being stopped in their own universes? Also, Miguel's is supposed to be In The Future. Does that mean the universes are tied to points where there is an active Spider-Man? Also, seems like a major canon BREAK for there to be a universe where a Spider-Man dies, and Miguel even implies that Miles caused the death of his world's Spider-Man by being bitten. Did Miguel cause the death of that world's Spider-Man so he could have his family? Also.... vampire?!?!?

Miles escapes back to his.... well, not quite his universe but the Earth 42 caused by a glitch in the Go Home Machine. In this Darker Timeline, they were deprived of a Spider-Man because The Spot stole their spider, and Miles has ended up being The Prowler cuz his dad died but his uncle didn't. And he is not exactly happy to see our Miles.

END. MOVIE. Wait for the follow up.

What ?!?! Oh yeah, I entirely forgot it was a two-parter, as is the way these days. In my first watching, I didn't really catch onto the Earth 42 fake-out but I had some inkling. The colours were just slightly off. 

This movie was surprisingly satisfying follow-up to the ground breaking original animated movie. It is able to keep the humour and excitement and heartfelt nature of the original while introducing sooooo much more. And the visuals, while not as impactful as the introduction in the original (it was just sooooo unlike anything we had seen before) are still a wonder to look at. Just pause ANY scene and just look at it. Each still could be a piece of art. 

New one now please?

3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): Cocaine Bear

2023, Elizabeth Banks (Charlie's Angels) -- download/Amazon

Let's watch something dumb; where we don't really have to pay attention.

Well, that fit the bill. It was a big, dumb, silly movie without much of a point but that... was kind of the point. And it was kind of fun, if you find fun in watching stupid people get assaulted by a bear under the influence. And I guess I do.

In a long line of movies that are set in another time period, just because, and maybe because this movie was kind of inspired by some real life events, its the 80s. There was a drop of cocaine bricks, in bags, from a plane, and there was a bear who found, and ate some. As for the rest, we have vast artistic license used. And in some ways, the real life story of the bear, after it is found, is weirder than the movie. Not sequel weird, but just plain weird as only real life can be. Go Google it.

So, yes, a plane filled to the brim with cocaine packaged into duffel bags being tossed out the door, for later pickup, before the smuggler is supposed to parachute to safety. Except he's all coked up and conks his head on the door, and the chute never opens. Splat. Police investigation!

Cut to a state park in Georgia where backpackers Elsa and Olaf (Kristofer Hivju, Game of Thrones; of note, I really need to know why he voiced Jormungandr in an episode of DuckTales) encounter a coked up bear. Nice bear! “If it's brown, lay down. If it's black, fight back." It doesn't go well. Bad bear! Munch munch munch.

We then are introduced to tentative "main characters", single-mom Sari (Keri Russell, Star Wars: the Rise of Skywalker) and her daughter, and daughter's friend (Christian Convery, Sweet Tooth; this kid does a coked-up kid REALLY well!!). The kids get caught skipping school and Sari has to head into the park to find, and confront them. Meanwhile Park Ranger Liz (Margo Martindale, Mrs. Davis) is trying to flirt with naturalist Peter (an unrecognizable Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Modern Family) and end up walking with Sari. Meanwhile, gangster (Ray Liotta, GoodFellas) sends his henchman Daveed (O'Shea Jackson Jr, Straight Outta Compton) and his grieving son Eddie (Aiden Ehrenreich, Solo: a Star Wars Story) to find the missing cocaine, Meanwhile Bob the cop (Isiah Whitlock Jr, The Wire) comes to the area where he believes the splat-ed smuggler must have been flying over. Convergence, in the park, and smack dab into the face of the bear. Munch munch munch, bad bear!

Also, the FACES in this movie!!

Paths cross and disconnect, the bear attacks and acts weird/funny and kills a lot.. of.. people. Its all slap stick gore monster comedy that doesn't really need any plot, but does a decent job of pulling all the threads together. Each of the character actors do a phenomenal job of playing through their sometimes very minimal roles, so unlike most of these lower budget horror/comedy movies, getting skilled people to play their part was nice -- kudos Ms Banks.

And it was a good way to waste some time, and we actually ended up actually paying attention.

3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): God is a Bullet

2023, Nick Cassavetes (The Notebook) -- download

Interesting. The last movie Cassavetes made before this was The Other Woman also starring Nikolaj Coster-Waldau almost ten years ago. Hollywood's an interesting place in that despite having a few bit acting roles in a few movies, there is not much on the books that can account for his absence. What does someone do during a ten year absence? Usually the answer is "live life" but that can encompass a lot. A quick Google of "Nick Cassavetes Hollywood Reporter" shows that he has pretty much been working to get his next thing made at all times, so I guess a lot of that decade was spent having lunch on brightly lit patios with the purple suits.

That this was the product of those ten years, after the middling romcom (I won't say "that he is known for" for he does cover a wide range of styles in his career), is surprising. Its a hell of a slap-in-the-face movie about the most degenerate of America's underbelly.

Bob Hightower (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Game of Thrones) finds his ex-wife and her new husband murdered, horribly, and his 15 year old daughter gone. He is a low-key policeman, not much more than a desk jockey, and his colleagues have very little to go on. That is, until he is approached by Case (an almost unrecognizable Maika Monroe, It Follows), an past victim of the cult that kidnapped his daughter. This ultra-violent group embraces the "left-hand path" of occultism, a mix of Satanism, anti-establishment ideology, anarchy and hedonistic violence. Their leader Cyrus (Karl Glusman, Devs) likes to kidnap teen girls and convert them to his world. Case eventually escaped but she has been haunted ever since, and offers to help Bob get his daughter back.

But first she has to bring Bob into their world. I am not quiet sure why as there is very little of an attempt to infiltrate the group, but she convinces Bob he has to be full-body & face tattooed, like she is. It might be more of right of passage for Bob, to leave his safe little world of "sheep" and enter her world of violence and debauchery. She may have left the cult, but she has been left a product of its indoctrination. Together, the newly tattooed, barely healed Bob follow the cult across the south US hoping to find them and, somehow, get the girl back. Case, and Cassavetes, never really reveal how that will happen, but I am thinking Case is just embracing the chaos and do whatever needs doing, when she and Bob get there.

The movie is upsetting, the world she drags Bob into is upsetting. Bob is a "good Christian" and has trouble reconciling his own world view with all that he sees, and especially with what he has to do, to keep him and Case safe until their goal is reached. We never know if Case is leading him for her own reasons, or to truly help. There is a lot of ideology conversation and accusation about being a "sheep" vs living in the world exactly how you choose, abandoning conventions. In the end, their goal is accomplished by embracing what the cult always did -- ultra-violence. They all have to die.

3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): Safety Not Guaranteed

2012, Colin Trevorrow (Jurassic World) -- Amazon

I admit, I am entirely disappointed that the magazine ad, upon which this movie is based, was only a joke. I was hoping it was still a mystery to this day, or at least, had inspired some reporters to actually investigate.

So, the movie is about an ad in a newspaper that some low graded "reporters" (really, two interns and a loser) are sent to investigate. Jeff (Jake Johnson, The Mummy) and the two interns, Darius (Aubrey Plaza, Legion) and Arnau (Karan Soni, Dead Pool) are sent to a small coastal California community to unravel the story. They start by staking out the PO Box, but Jeff has other ambitions, essentially to hook up with the girl of his fondest high school memories. He tasks Darius with infiltrating the world of Kenneth (Mark Duplass, Creep), the owner of the PO Box, and finding his story and/or time machine. Arnau sits in the background looking uncomfortable. 

Darius succeeds, gaining Kenneth's trust, becoming his co-conspirator in his time travel escapade, which is to go back only one year to save his dead GF's life. But, as it should be, everything about his story is circumspect and not very believable. No matter, Darius finds kinship with this lost weirdo, as she is one herself -- duh, its Aubrey Plaza. But the story is complicated by the fact that men in black are following him.

Its a charming little movie, weird, quirky, small, endearing ... all the hallmarks of indie film making. And people loved it. I have been hearing about it for years, and there was a time when I would have fallen for it completely. Alas, I am old and jaded. It's a fine movie, it's fine. The performances are great, the stories played through well enough but ... well, I am the first to say that a movie doesn't have to always make bold statements about things, but I kind of felt this movie ... should have ? The time travel is a backdrop, more a macguffin to motivate the situation than anything. And yet... If anything, its another from the list of movies I felt I Should See.

We agree?

3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): Heart of Stone

2023, Tom Harper (The Aeronauts) -- Netflix

This might be my death knell with espionage type thrillers, for while I was compelled enough to pay attention, I was not stirred at all by the characters, the world it was building nor any of the elements. And it wasn't fun enough to be considered a popcorn romp. But, no I cannot say I disliked, in fact there were many elements about it I rather enjoyed, but... only mildly. I might go so far as to say this was a ... Ryan Reynolds style vehicle like Red Notice or 6 Underground ? But it wasn't; it stands alone.

We begin with a spy operation in a casino atop the Italian Alps. A team of MI6 agents are there to extract an arms dealer but the op goes sideways and Stone (Gal Gadot, Knight & Day) has to emerge, secretly, from her role as operational support ("stay in the van") to move things along. She is, in truth, a member of The Charter who through ear pieces, a fancy quantum computer, and a holographic system, are able to assist Stone in ways other agencies can only presumably dream of. Think of it this way - she is masquerading as the real MI6 while The Charter is more akin to the Bond-ian MI6 with toys & gadgets and such. No matter, as the op fails anyway and the arms dealer dies. 

Soon after, the team finds itself in Lisbon tracking down the hacker who interfered with their Italy operation when they are attacked and Stone has to fully reveal herself in order to save the team. And then one of the team, Parker (Jamie Dornan, Fifty Shades of Grey), reveals himself as a Bad Guy and murders the rest of them; well, not Stone. His end goal had always been to find The Charter -- more specifically, The Charter's AI/Quantum Computer called The Heart. Getting Stone to reveal herself was his real objective. 

Of note, the Charter likes to label things like they were part of a deck of cards. Stone was The Joker. Not sure of the whole point of it.

Parker leaves Stone alive, and she is not really suspicious about it, she doesn't know he has implanted her with ... something. Once she returns to base, it activates, hacking The Charter computer system before she can tear it out. But not before the Bad Guys learn of the location of The Heart, in an airship which constantly moves in the lower atmosphere. Meanwhile, The Charter's command structure (four "Kings"; why not eight, Kings and Queens?) reveals they know who Parker is, someone who they left for dead in their own botched op in Chechnya. Parker is out for REVENGE ! (yawn)

At this point, I am just along for the ride. The notes and beats of this movie are classic second-rate spy-thriller. I was intrigued by the non-governmental agency of The Charter, but that has been used before as well, usually in cartoony level TV and movies. But they seem just as prone to deception and misdirection as the agencies they claim to be better than. I mean, Parker doesn't hide his appearance, so when Stone was embedded into that MI6 team, shouldn't have someone recognized him from his dossier? 

There is some rather unnecessary mass destruction, taking its notes from the (other) MI movies, which all boils down to whiney Bad Guy revenge shit. I get that this is one of the tropes of the genre, but I guess that cements my fatigue with it. Of course, Stone saves (most of) the day and The Charter rises from the rubble to fight again.

Migawds, I hate single-faces dominating the poster without any hint as to the movie they are promoting style posters.

3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny

2023, James Mangold (Logan) - download

How exactly did they make an Indiana Jones movie that.... bored me? 

There are states in watching movies where I think I should probably just turn it off and pick up on another day. One is when I am falling asleep by 10pm and can no longer pay attention. That usually leads to moments where I just closed my eyes for seconds, but missed an important scene or character moment. Or just turning it off and giving up for another night. Another is when I am either annoyed going into it, a mood or something where I won't be entirely open to what I am watching. Its not a dislike for the movie in particular, but something likely extraneous which colours my viewing. I think I was with this one because from the opening CGI act I was just pissed off. The Uncanny Valley Ford was ... passable, but the more he was on the screen, the more annoyed I got. And then... the boredom hit me. Blah blah, punch nazis.... blah blah jump from one vehicle to another.... blah blah, run atop a train and dodge coming obstacles. Its stock Adventure Movie material, and I remember when that was more than enough for me, and often tropes I sought out. But for this movie... the boredom with the depiction just never went away.

I haven't watched the other Indie movies in quite some time, but there was a stage in my life when I jumped them into the same category as Star Wars or Alien. No matter what I thought of the movies individually, the franchise, especially the first, would always be dear to me. I was a huge devotee to the pair of TV series that spun-off that the Spielberg / Lucas movie started (Tales of the Gold Monkey and Bring Em Back Alive respectively), and I bought into a nostalgia that I was too young to actually subscribe to. But I can actively remember disliking the 2nd, and the 3rd and... well, not sure how I even have a fondness for the franchise but that nostalgic memory seems to win over reality.

At this point, I am just going to stop and do a ReWatch because I want to give a proper opinion, especially considering Kent's favourable writeup.

OK, the opening bit wasn't as annoying the second time around. I can actually see a bit of the adventure movie serial in the way it is shot, except for the bit running across the train. That just looks like badly done, unnecessarily CG. They could have just filmed someone running across a stationary train and fixed the rest in post.

But I get ahead of myself. The movie starts with a setup, sending us back to WWII, back to Indie (Harrison Ford, Cowboys & Aliens) Punching Nazis. Its 1944, the end of the war, a few years after the adventure with his dad. He's in ... the French Alps where Nazis are looting antiquities and he & Basil Shaw (Toby Jones, The Detectorists) are there to ... well, not sure. Recovery artifacts? Its not like they have a plan to foil an entire base of Nazis from absconding with their ill gotten gain. Let's assume Bas has convinced Indie to recover at least the Spear of Longinus (the spear that stabbed Christ in the side), always a source of mystical power to occultist types, before Hitler gets it. By this time he knows well that sometimes magical artifacts are... well, magical. Not a good thing for a mad ruler to get hold of. Good thing its a fake. No matter, Indie continues his hunt for it in one of the comic book series. Funny thing how the lance is also called the Spear of Destiny. Can never have too much destiny.

Anywayz, as this opening bit is a setup, the Lance is a distraction from the real artifact, the Antikythera, or Archimedes Dial. While nobody really says anything of interest, Bas is REALLY keen on it and there is already a scientist, physicist Dr. Voller (Mads Mikkelsen, Polar), on the train in search of it, and he even claims Hitler really should be more interested in that instead of the fake spear head. During the train running and Nazi punching, Dr. Voller catches a water spout to the face, and Indie & Bas have to jump off the train into a river. They lose the dial (more precisely, the half of the dial yet found).

BUT DID THEY?!? <insert melodramatic music - its an adventure serial, after all>

Now we dial it forward (grooooan), past the original movies & comic book adaptations, past the glass alien skull, all the way to 1969 with Dr. Henry Jones teaching bored students in NYC, Marion is divorcing him and he lives in a shitty apartment, drinking the rest of his life away. Anti-hero, much? Ducking out on his retirement party, he is approached by Helena "Wombat" Shaw (Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Solo: A Star Wars Story), the daughter of his late friend Bas. She resurrects the conversation about the Dial, which she claims the two men lost in the French Alps, but soon after, Indie suspects she always knew otherwise. You see, Indie always knew Bas was a wee bit too obsessed with it, so he hid it from the crazy little guy. But Helena also is not saying everything, as she is being pursued by (!!!) Dr. Voller, now called Schmidt, who works for the American Govt, one of those classic "forgiven Nazis" that helped with the rockets, that got men on the moon. His goons, along with some amoral CIA agents, give chase, after killing a few of Indie's college associates, framing him for the murder. Helena escapes, and so does Indie, aided by Grampa Sallah (John Rhys-Davies, Sliders), now a NYC cabbie. 

This segment still does nothing for me. The overuse of a CG generated, overly complicated NYC celebrating the moon landing is distracting and .... overly complicated. There's a lot going on. And the running, jumping, chasing and horse riding in subways just... well, the yawns began here.

But again, he escapes with help from Sallah, fills in a bit of Wombat's recent history and decides to chase her to Tangier (or Tangiers; your choice) where she will be auctioning the half of the dial that Indie had tucked away for safe keeping. He never destroyed it like Bas asked ("fissures in time!!" which leads to a head canon thing -- basically Archimedes built a tool that identifies TARDIS energy and the fissures are just places/times where the Doctor has appeared). Also, she owes some Moroccan gangster for screwing over his son. It wouldn't be an Indiana Jones movie (as opposed to indie movie) without exotic locales, which is kind of why the romp in NYC felt off. Anywayz, Indie disrupts the auction, whip snaps a few people, does the requisite whip vs gun scene and Voller appears to steal the dial out from under everyone. And they off to the tuk tuk races !! Windings streets and alleys, chasing after Voller in his car, also being chased by the gangster in his car. Exciting! Daring! In a tuk tuk that must have been suped up by the same people that built the Fiat car Ethan Hunt uses in Dead Reckoning. Man, those tuk tuks can maneuver.

It was at this point I started having a bit more compassion for the Helena character. The first time round, she was just an annoying foil doing things for her own selfish reasons, not giving a bit of thought to whom she was hurting. But in this rewatch, I see some subtlety, hints of the loss she felt with her father's passing, and how Indie just disappeared from her life -- he just doesn't do family well. She may be selfish, but she's also loyal. There's a hint that she needs One Big Score so she and her kid sidekick Teddy (Ethann Isidore, Mortel) can retire to a calmer life. Meanwhile, Indie just wants to finally do right by Bas.

But Voller escapes with the dial piece and Bas's diaries. No matter, Wombat has them all memorized and has a strong theory as to where the next clue is -- something with a code on it, something lost to the ages. Its in a roman ship, where the original piece of the dial was found, but at the other end, a piece of the sunken vessel that fell off the shelf into deeper water. And Indie has just the help - Renaldo, an old Spanish diver with an old diving boat, now docked out of Greece. 

Old is the keyword in this movie. Indie may have been The Guy in his day, but now he's waaaay past his prime. Despite being pretty ripped, albeit with saggy skin, he's in incredible shape for A Guy His Age. That has people, and viewers, judging him, but also underestimating him. Kind of. I mean, the viewer already sees him as a superhero taking bullets, snakes, stabbings and whatever is tossed his way, and getting away. But not without a scratch. Renaldo (Antonio Banderas, The 13th Warrior), the diver, is a reminder age catches up with everyone, and Indie is at the age where he is running out of Old Friends Who Help. 

They dive, they get the artifact, but Voller is pretty smart, and has followed the same clues to the same location. But being a Nazi, he shoots most people and tries to extort Indie into translating the next clue. He won't, so they shoot Renaldo. Helena is not ready to sacrifice all for the integrity of the mission; she bargains for cold hard cash and does the translation. But, BUT, she has an ace card in her back pocket; ace card being a stick of dynamite. BOOM ! Zing! Dodge, they jump onto Voller's boat and make their escape.

We are beginning to see the weight of Indie's legacy. His friends are dying, and often for him or because of his endeavours. He's an adventurer who doesn't always account for the safety of others. So, in ways, not all that different from Helena. Yeah, I am enjoying the movie more in the second watching because I have done away with the spectacle, for the most part.

Next spectacle! You see, Helena misled Voller and she is off to the next clue -- the tomb of Archimedes -- via a gold tablet hidden inside the wax & wood of the deception clue. They think they are being sneaky leaving Voller and crew stranded on Renaldo's damaged boat, but he's a tenacious little Nazi. No sooner have Helena, Teddy and Indie arrived in Sicily than Voller shows up, taking Teddy captive. Not sure why; leverage? Kids are easier to manipulate? Either way, the pair rushes to the tomb and the Nazis give chase. We finally get some proper tomb raiding and make an interesting discovery. Not only does is the second piece of the dial in the tomb with Archimedes, but also there is a ... watch. And the frieze on his tomb has a phoenix with propellers. Hmmmm... time travel anyone? And then Voller shows up, shoots Indie, takes the stuff and off they go.

Finally, the end game is upon them. They dress up like proper Nazis, with a plan to fly into one of the time fissures that legend speaks of, and travel back to 1939. Not to support Hitler but to put him down, as Voller blames him for the fall of the Reich. And to put himself in power, of course, with all his knowledge of the future intact. I am sure he and his remaining goons have done some historical reading and know all the Allied troop movements, and such, and will win the war.

Meanwhile Helena and Teddy are giving chase, she on a motorcycle to climb on board, to stop them or save the wounded Indie or... who knows, but Dramatic Action! And Teddy is absconding with a small plane that he has learned to fly by talking to drunk American pilots in Morocco. Yep, that will work. Onboard Air Nazi Indie has an inspiration and points out a fatal flaw in the legends -- that Archimedes wouldn't have taken account for continental drift so his machine would not get the timey wimey stuff right. I mean, considering he had basically learned how to account for Time and Place via magical super-genius level understanding, I think he would have accounted for another force he didn't completely understand, but... whatever, things fuck up and they fly back to .... Ancient Times! Both planes are sucked through the cloudy vortex into the siege of Syracuse in 212 BC. 

This was a battle where the "ancient super weapons of the ancients" came into play: claws that lifted ships out of the water and capsized them, sun powered heat rays that set ships on fire, etc. There is enough historical documentation to support the idea of these, but it does make me wonder if this was the beginning of science fiction in ancient times. Either way, we don't get to see these weapons in action (boooo!!!) but a few ballista shots take down the Nazi plane with Helena & Indie jumping out via parachute. The other plane lands safely, and Helena has to convince Indie to return to modern times with her, via a sock to the jaw. Despite all the weird shit that could happen with him staying in the past, he really really wants to end his career and life there. It would be long, as he does have a bullet wound but... no matter, sock pow, wake up in NYC (?!?!) for a nostalgic movie ending with Marion.

All in all, the adventure just doesn't do it for me. Sure, its exciting and well done, but.... yawn? At least, I was able to enjoy this viewing more by focusing on what little characterization there was but, still. I really makes me curious to go back and watch all the others to determine if I am just not in that mindset anymore, where this is My Jam. Or is it ... just not all that good? Each of the last few movies have had their Great Complaints and yet the nostalgia of the franchise survives. I guess time will tell, and I will return when the ReWatches commence.

3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): To Catch a Killer

2023,  Damián Szifron (Wild Tales) -- Netflix

New Year's Eve. Baltimore. A sniper opens up from a skyscraper, targeting every party, apartment and crowd within his field of vision. At the end 29 people are dead. When the cops follow the angles back to apartment, it blows up. First on the scene is beat cop Eleanor (Shailene Woodley, Divergent), who makes a few instinctual choices, enough to get her acknowledged by FBI lead Lammark (Ben Mendelsohn, Secret Invasion) and asked to work with the task force.

From the beginning the investigation is fraught with politics. They want to blame terrorism, they want a quick find, and every agency head has their fingers in it. It doesn't help that Eleanor is damaged goods, with a history of mental health & addiction issues. But she believes it is this attribute that will allow her to see past the bullshit of the investigation and find the real killer.

A lot of people would fault this movie for Hannibal comparisons, and all its ilk, with "it takes a damaged person to find a damaged person". But I think it was more concerned with the banality of murder, wanting it to side-step the flashiness of most perpetrators in fiction. Every time there is a mass shooting in the US, the media presents us with a character, wide brush strokes of a person driven to extremes. But here, in the end, it was a mentally damaged man, failed by the system, with access to high-powered weaponry - not a terrorist, not connected to a hate-group, just a very damaged man. Whether the movie succeeds to relay this is debatable, as most would want a Hit With a Hammer point to be made, while I found the pacing and understated acting to be gratifying.

3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): Meg 2: The Trench

 2023, Ben Wheatley (High-Rise) -- download

Waitafucking second; Ben Wheatley of Kill List acclaim did this utterly shite movie?!?!

Waitafucking second; these movies are based on a series of novels that started in the 90s?!?!

Yeah, and you have a point? Kind of? OK then.

Its not just me who is surprised that Wheatley is directing this movie when you see Google already had an autofill for, "Why is Ben Wheatley directing the Meg 2". Most reviewers are surprised and those who get the interviews are not even attempting to challenge the choice, but they do often... question it. But all you have to do is look at his handful of movies to see that he wants to do big budget Hollywood movies, and he is willing to play in many fields to accomplish this. Its kind of a shame he never got to do Tomb Raider 2 but with the current shuffles in Hollywood, maybe he will.

P.S. The writeup for the first movie got eaten (*cough*) by the 2018 Hiatus. I really should do a ReWatch writeup. I legitimately enjoy that one.

Anyway, the megalodons from the trench are back, minus the the. The title makes it sound a movie about a vengeful nanny taking on the a band of corrupt ditch diggers. And back again are The Chinese Backers. I think I need a new mind's eye visual for what Chinese Backers look like to me, to match the Purple Suited Producers. Either way, this movie feels very backed by the Chinese film industry, but without the need to be a Chinese movie. But unlike the first movie, it doesn't even attempt at being a solid blockbuster; it knows its a stupid summer action movie, but unfortunately kind of thinks you are stupid for looking forward to it, like I did.

Jonas Taylor (Jason Statham, Crank) is no longer a deep sea rescue diver hiding in a bottle, from the trauma of his last rescue gone bad. Given he just rescued a bunch of people from a megaladon shark, he should be back in the deep sea diving business, but instead, he's an... eco-warrior? Why? So we can have an action-hero reintroduction sequence for the character.

With the death of the research platform's leader Dr. Zhang, and (in between movies) his daughter Suyin (?!?! guess they couldn't get her to return to the role) the Mana One is now led by Zhang's son Jiuming (Jing Wu, The Wandering Earth) and his new foreign investor Hillary Driscoll (Sienna Guillory, Resident Evil: Apocalypse). Of note, all foreign investor billionaires are Bad Guys, or at the very least, assholes. Also, they have a new pet -- a "baby" megaladon named Haiqi who Jiuming thinks he can do the Jurassic World / Owen Grady thing with -- Owen had his hand signals, Jiuming has a clicker. Nobody trusts that it works.

Mana One is actually doing well, exploring the scary trench below the thermosphere, Where Monsters Dwell. They have some tech to hide / defend from said beasties, but what they don't expect are The Spanish... mining pirates. Someone has learned of and snuck an entire mining operation into the trench, and they don't take kindly to the Mana One subs poking their noses in. One big explosion later and both Mana One subs are stranded on the bottom. And the cast is forced to rip-off Underwater by walking across the bottom of the trench to take refuge in the mining pirate base.  Insert requisite deaths of a few characters whose names you didn't remember. Based on recent news about catastrophic implosions, I was surprised they retained this scene. Inside the pirate base there is only one Bad Guy to punch before they can escape, aided by a scene that could only have been done to generate Outrage Articles, which in turn generate buzz for the movie -- I am pretty sure that blowing air out of your sinuses would not allow you to free swim at 25,000 feet down.

So, act one, in the trench, some explosions so as to setup the real movie -- releasing more megs that will once again gravitate towards a resort beach, and the Mana One crew will have to chase after. But not before the mid-act where they are betrayed, have to fight off mercenaries with machine guns, because... well, Chinese Backing, and make the Bad Guy Pirate (who keeps on barely surviving) cry over his chomp-chomp'd girlfriend. But whatever, we don't care about this part of the movie, as we want to see the sharks swim up to overcrowded beaches and EAT PEOPLE !

Unlike this first one, they actually do this time. Lots of people. Cameras shot from inside the mouths of the shark, mouths filled with panicking swimmers, lots of people. It must be horrible to be eaten alive. Nope explored the absolute horror of the idea, as you would survive the initial swallow only to ... well, better not to think it through. Let's just say its not likely you are cutting your way out with a knife. This movie just captures the brief shot and then moves onto the next snack. And yet, strangely, lets the annoying fashion dog live... again.

Meanwhile, the utterly stupid mercenary addition continues so not only is Taylor thinking up ludicrous ways to blow up megaladons (sharp stick, liquid explosive, jump the shark [literally]) but they are also fighting off guys with guns AND another attempt at ripping off a Jurassic movie by having, apparently, amphibious, raptor dinosaur monsters running around eating additional people. Jonas and the Mana One Crew (not a boy band) are running around the resort island (last time it was just a resort beach, this time they get an entire island) fending off bad guys and raptor dinosaur monster wolf dogs mixing it up with a few sharks blowed up a real good, a giant OCTOPUS for good measure, finally dealing Bad Guy Pirate a final measure and once again saving the day. The final act is just terrible action-movie scene after terrible action-movie scene, but still, once again, with enough funding (Chinese Backers!) to rise above Asylum.

P.S. Jiuming does the clicker thing so Jonas doesn't have to blow up the third shark, which is Haiqi -- insert relieved laughter.

One final note. Because they killed off the love interest for Jonas, from the first movie, they had to deal with the fact she had a daughter. She is now a teen whom Jonas is raising. So, following the tradition of How To Make a Sequel Worse, they added a stupid kid running around doing stupid things.

I like my Dumb Monster Movies, my creature features, but this one just pushes past the envelope of expected tropes and tries to toss in ALL the summer blockbuster elements, and fails in all cases. In a past life, this would have been the underfunded sequel made by a different producer that went straight to video. Except.... Chinese Backers.

I am pretty sure I prefer my Big Dumb Blockbuster Chinese movies to be actual Chinese movies, not Big Dumb Hollywood movies wearing a Chinese Backer mask. And with that said, the Wandering Earth II sequel to the seminal Big Dumb Chinese Blockbuster is now on Prime !!

OK, one MORE final note: there were soooooo many utterly terrible posters to choose from, I was almost tempted to do the Kent Thing and insert many.... OK I did.

3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

2017, Martin McDonagh (Seven Psychopaths) -- download

This is the sort of movie I should be watching more of. To continue the (ahem. MY mantra, not THE) mantra on this blog for... pretty much more than half of it, I am not That Guy anymore. And this movie, a tightly directed, incredibly well acted, bleakly told drama about tragedy and growth, is the exact kind of movie I would have continuously sought out. And yet, it sat on my HDD in a To Be Watched state since it came out probably at the beginning of 2018. I occasionally scroll through that list, mostly littered with 31 Days of Halloween items that we never got around to seeing, looking for something inspiring to watch, instead of the usual dross. I rarely actually click anything, but happy I did this time.

My usual pondering on being That Guy makes me wonder why I even pine for him anymore. People are allowed to grow, or more accurately, are allowed to devolve -- for I do see this as de-evolution of who I once was aspiring to be. Should I stop even referencing it, and just move on? Should I just move on from this blog? Is it providing the outlet it once did, the joy of sharing (with all 3 of you) my enjoyment of movies, when so often, I am not all that thrilled in what I watched. Do I write, not because I am getting something from it, getting BETTER at it (because, I know, I am not) but because I feel invested and therefore must continue? Because giving up feels like defeat?

No answers really. Movies that make me think, make me think.

Ebbing, Missouri is a pretty little town in the hills, the kind of small town with a single main street and lots of salt of the earth type people, i.e. a lot of them are backwards and bigoted. The movie doesn't judge them for that. Like most of these small towns, it has a lonely road that was once a main thorough-fare in and out, but it lost out to a highway. And that road has three abandoned billboards that Mildred (Frances McDormand, Nomadland) decides to make use of. She pays up front for a month, and even confirms that which she wants on them is not breaking the law. The local ad guy is happy to take her money.

On the boards are three messages: "raped while dying", "and still no arrests", and "how come, chief willoughby?" Nobody is happy about the boards or their message, once they become known of, especially the local police, including Willoughby (Woody Harrelson, White House Plumbers), but he seems less put out by it than expected. No matter, his absolute troll of a deputy Dixon (Sam Rockwell, See How They Run) carries enough loathing & hatred for all the other cops. There is also the matter that Willoughby has terminal cancer and HAS done his best to investigate, but nothing was ever found. No matter, as Mildred will keep her boards up. She was the mother of the murdered teen girl and there is no mollifying her rage and grief.

This is not a murder mystery movie, though it takes on the trappings of such at a time here and there. It is a movie about people, and grief, and growth. Life is challenging and is not a whodunnit. Mildred, while obviously sympathetic, is abrasive and probably disliked long before her daughter was murdered; I don't think she ever takes off that mechanic's overalls, despite working in a gift shop. Willoughby knows his time is near and just wants to do right by people, even the asshole who works for him. When Willoughby's time does come, it shakes Dixon like a dog with a rag doll. He actually tries; really tries despite being a racist, violent asshole. The movie ends with Mildred & Dixon making a decision, not on solving the murder of her daughter but on... making choices.

There are no easy answers in this movie, no easy decisions. Sometimes you can just keep doing what you have been doing, or sometimes you can make conscious decisions to ... do something else. Especially when its hard.

No answers really. Movies that make me think, make me think.

3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): Transformers: Rise of the Beasts

2023, Steve Caple Jr (Creed II) -- download

Hey, that didn't suck. Why didn't that suck?

Well, relatively.

OK, so it's not a BaySplosion movie. And only barely connected to Bumblebee. In fact it felt more like a standalone movie, given it happens before all the others, yet contains many of the familiar "faces". And while it did choose to go the BaySplosion route of Big Bangs instead of logic, it just felt more... well, like a movie about toys, and the scenarios kids would build in their own head.

We open with Unicron (think Ego from Guardians 2 but machine) attacking the planet of the Maximals. I swore that the premise of the machine intelligences that made up The Transformers didn't become trains, planes and automobiles until they came to Earth, and chose those forms to hide, but apparently these Transformers (are there multiple machine intelligences scattered about the universe, like most scifi says there are humans everywhere?) have Earth-based animal forms before they ever came to Earth. That said, their planet is destroyed and they flee to Earth thru a "transwarp tunnel" with the key to creating said tunnels, so that Unicron won't have free access to the universe to eat as many planets as he pleases.

Earth, the 90s. Token Human Noah Diaz (Anthony Ramos, Hamilton) is trying to make ends meet while caring for his younger brother who suffers from sickle cell anemia. Against his own best interests, he accepts a job from the friendly neighbourhood thug and ends up not-quite stealing a Porsche 911, which turns out to be Mirage (Pete Davidson, The Suicide Squad). Bumblebee was already the focus of the 80s-set eponymous movie, but they still need a fast, hip-talking car/autobot for the Token Human to initially be frightened by, but eventually befriend. And support him when he eventually gets all mixed up in the latest reason to have the Autobots come out of hiding to do stuff to save Earth, themselves and ... now the Maximals.

I am not sure I can talk about the movie without sounding incredibly snarky about it (I thought you said it didn't suck?), because it is not the most smart movie (says the kettle). But unlike the BaySplosion versions, its not irritatingly so, but, as I said before, feels more like a movie built inside the mind of a kid playing with his (or her) Transformers. There are big set pieces, global locales, robots punching, robots shooting, and lots and lots of explosions, but thankfully very few humans involved. This is all between the giant robots, on the latest cosmic scale of destruction and planet saving.

A thing that always annoyed me about the other movies (you have a long list of "things"), beyond the humans unnecessarily involved, is that all the Transformers seemed overcomplicated in their depictions. I always felt like they would be shedding little bits everywhere, that SHOULD be found left, right and centre by bystanders after the events of the movies take place. This is tamped down in these movies, making them more characters and less portfolio pieces for the  CGI team. Still there are events and circumstances that should be noticed and documented, but won't be, cuz, y'know the FIRST first movie hasn't happened yet.

Like the pre-quellish X-Men movies, these are attempting to stand on their own while staying connected to the originals. I guess with more success? I am thinking they need to toss in some time travel shenanigans.

3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): Bliss

2021, Mike Cahill (Another Earth) - Amazon

When we discussed Cahill's other work that we both watched, we talked about the dramatic VS the science-fiction, in that the SciFi elements of the movie play a significant part but the real core to the movie is the drama of the events being played out. Again, here, that applies, possibly bleeding so far as to be only allegory.

Greg Wittle (Owen Wilson, Marmaduke) works a shitty mid-management job at a tech support company. Recently separated from his wife, his daughter is reaching out to ask him to come to her graduation. Meanwhile, he is ignoring calls as he doodles another world, another life, one more sublime and... more exotic than this shitty real world. It gets him fired. As he is being fired, he accidentally kills his boss. Or knocks the man unconscious. Who knows; Greg never checks but hides the man behind the curtains and heads across the street to a bar. Greg makes bad choices.

We should also make note that Greg crushed a pill under a credit card and snorted it. For his 'bad leg' or so he tells his daughter. But let's hand wave that away and focus on the SciFi. In the bar, Isabel (Salma Hayek, Joan is Awful) tries to get his attention, surprised he is "real" and then shows him what she can do to "not real" people - a simple wave of her hand sends a tray flying from the hands of a waitress. Cahill is setting us up in a Matrix style simulation, that for some reason, Isabel is running around being a homeless person inside of. And she coaxes Greg to come along, seducing him with her "magical" abilities and by being Salma Hayek. Greg seems OK with being dragged along, whether he believes the simulation bit or not.

The movie leads along as if this is a movie about an advanced simulation world, but the clues are always there that Things Are Not Quite As They Seem. And not the way you expect. Doubling down, Greg and Isabel leave for The Real World, the one from his drawings, but even if you ignore the unrealistic utopian vibes, that world seems less real than the simulation. People talk and act like they are NPCs; the dialogue and situations always seem.... off. Being a devotee of simulation fiction, I honestly was dragged along like the rest of the audience, expecting a layered reality... sorry, a layered simulation, like in Black Mirror. But reality is depressing.

The drama of this movie was not as alluring, captivating, as Another Earth and, TBH I put that entirely on Wilson and Hayek. They just weren't gripping as their characters and the sad sad lives, simulated and real, they were living were just mundane. In the end I didn't like either worlds, Real Life or Utopia. But that's life.