T&K's Xmas (2020) Advent Calendar: Day 23 - The 12 Dates Of Christmas

 A Toast to Hallmarkent
2011, d. James Hayman - Disney+

Not to be confused with this year's Hallmarkie On the 12th Date of Christmas or this year's HBO Max reality series of the same name, this is a Disney Family Channel original from 2011 starring Amy Smart (Crank, Crank 2: High Voltage) and Mark-Paul Gossler (Saved By The Bell [1989], Saved By The Bell [2020]).  It sort of pre-dates the Hallmark formulae but falls very much into that cheap-feel, made-for-TV holiday romance movie genre quite handily.  Somehow these movies (see also last year's advent calendar for Desperately Seeking Santa  and Dear Santa) that were made this century feel like movies made in the 80's or 90's.  The cheap-but-polished aesthetic of Hallmark has reshaped how we look at these films.

The Story
In this one Smart plays Kate, an advertising executive in New York (tplayed by Toronto - the cliched footage of New York montage that opens the film is actually footage of New York intercut with footage of Toronto) who is pining over her ex-boyfriend Jack.  She forgot about the Secret Santa at work, and I'm not sure if that was to show she's a bit scatterbrained or too focussed on Jack, or both.  Her work BFF received her Secret Santa gift and it was a jar of jam she hadn't opened yet, as well as the gift of harassment from another coworker.  She's out shopping for a gift for Jack on Christmas Eve because she "holiday dialed him...it's like drunk dialing without the alcohol", and buys him a two hundred dollar cashmere sweater.  She also has plans for a blind date at 5pm: drinks her stepmother Sally's godson, followed by them joining Sally and her dad for dinner.

Kate, wandering through The Bay in Eaton's Center, gets "accidentally" sprayed in the face with perfume (magical chimes tinkling) and passes out.  She comes to and races home, past the guy who for some reason is trying to set up lights on trees in the public park on Christmas Eve (a little late, bud) but the lights are all knotted up, and the elevator is out of order (which the super said he'd have fixed by Christmas), and her neighbour Mrs. Frumkin aggressively delivers her a cherry chip loaf, which Kate certainly doesn't seem to appreciate.  Kate's just a little bit of an a-hole. 

She goes to the bar to meet Miles, rudely pre-judging the lonely, Rivers Cuomo-looking guy sitting by himself smelling his breath.  Turns out he's waiting for Phyllis, and she's a bit more pleased with Miles Dufine when he steps forward and introduces himself.  He's slightly nervous but kind of charming, with the expected kind of wit for a holiday romance tv movie.  He had pre-ordered Kate a lager, but she hates beer and for some reason annoys the piss out of the waitress when she orders a white whine.  Kind of a stupid move, though, Miles, pre-ordering the lady's drink.  Anyway, Kate rudely watches her phone while Miles talks, even more rudely picks up the phone while he's mid sentence, and even more rudely says she's going to take off, meet her ex-boyfriend, but hopes they'll reconvene at Sally's place afterword.  Miles is noticeably and appropriately offended and put off, and leaves abruptly.  There's no chance Miles is going to Sally's.

Kate goes to meet Jack, full of over-eager hope, but Jack's there just to drop of his dog Max as he and his new girlfriend Nancy take off to the cabin together (which obviously was their thing).  Why Max can't take the dog to the cabin with them, I don't know.  Maybe the dog gets all barky when people have sex.

Back at Dad and Sally's house, it's sad.  Kate's being a real bitch to Dad's new wife, when Miles calls to tell Sally he's not coming for dinner.  Kate says she'll call him, but Sally tells her he's the sweetest guy in the world and she blew it.  "You can't go back and change it" she says, with no hint of immediate foreshadowing whatsoever.  Kate bemoans her loneliness.

A magical infomercial pops on television setting Max off and then teleports a sleeping Kate back to when she passed out in the perfume section.  She's clearly disoriented, and unfamiliar with time-loop scenarios.  She pulls her BFF out of the work party to share her recycled day with, pointing out the guy struggling with the lights, being even more rude to Mrs. Frumkin, generally being assholeish.  Her BFF postulates that maybe it's a dream... and Kate thinks that if it's a dream she "can behave any way I want."  Uhh, you kind of do that already you insensitive prat.

She puts on a slinky purple dress to tempt Jack away from his new girlfriend.  It's not going to go the way she thinks.  She's agressively weird towards Miles at their date (which she decides to keep knowing that Sally was really mad at her for breaking the date the first time, and she tells her BFF that Miles was a really nice guy), and Miles seems into it.  Miles smacks a little of desperation.  As they talk over each other - Kate trying to inform Miles pre-emptively about her phone call and "urgent meeting" - Miles says something about a wife, and it goes really bad again.

Kate, thinking her meetup with Jack's going to go differently this time because of a dress she's wearing, calls her Dad to tell her she's not coming to dinner.  She talks to Sally about Miles' wife, who, obviously, is dead, and Kate has feelings.  She finds out Jack is going to propose to Nancy. Max joins her for a lonely night in.  What's the time-share situation with Max for Kate and  Jack?  The weird infomercial pops on and the clock winds back.

Kate wakes up in the department store again. "Noooo!"
Some people don't know how to enjoy a time loop.
She goes to the doctor, hoping to get a scan to see if she has a brain tumor.  The ease of access to which she can get to visit her doctor is the real Christmas Miracle.  Kate still thinks getting Jack back is the answer.  So she goes to Jack's place and gets real weird to Jack, who is a really nice guy and very patient with this obsessed woman.

She heads to the bar early, where River Cuomo-looking dude is already waiting for Phyllis.  Kate chats him up a little.  Miles comes in (she notes he's arrived early too) and she blindsides him, starts chatting him up without revealing herself.  She starts asking about "the date" he's there for, then about his late wife.  "It's no great Lifetime channel tragedy" he says, and says she fell off a ladder cleaning gutters. Kate then tries to console Miles over the fact that she's going to ditch him later.  She arrives home to find Mrs. Frumkin's cherry chip loaf outside her door.  She utters an "Aww" and decides to thank Mrs. Frumkin, who hauls her inside her beautifully decorated apartment and they do some baking together.  Kate starts seeing what lonely old lady life is like together, but also bonds with Mrs. Frumkin. 

A lot of the conversations about this movie are about change and personal progress, and the ability to move on from the past.

Kate's dead asleep with Max when the infomercial (it's a partridge and pear pendant set, very tacky) pops on and time resets again.  Kate seems much more at ease in round four.  She races to head of Jack at the jewelry shop where he's about to buy Nancy's engagement ring.  Her stalker vibe turns a bit zen, and they have an easy conversation about where they went wrong (apparently Kate was obsessive about getting married and wasn't interested in what Jack wanted).  "Time to let go" she tells herself.  She asks about the guy in the park, who every year builds his girlfriend a lighted snowflake whether she wants to or not.  Kate asks the girlfriend, Leigh, if she wants a drink.  They go back to Kate's place and party like 11-year-old chugging whipped cream right out of the spray can, pissing off the neighbours.  Dad and Sally stop by when she didn't show up for dinner, bringing Miles with them.  Katie is a bit tipsy, but her and Miles go out for the evening, she learns Miles designs parks ("parkitect") and then he does a palm reading on her, as a pick-up thing which she's actually a little into.  She spills to Miles her fixation with Jack but shows signs of moving past it.  Miles is reasonably understanding.  Late in the evening Rivers is still there, waiting for Phyllis, and there's a misunderstanding, Jack storms off.  Kate and Rivers have a drink.

Date 5, Kate makes nice with the man who's always checking to see if she's ok.. "thanks for always being there for me Jim".  Kate waits around home for Miles' call rather than meeting at the bar, and they go Christmas tree shopping like people do on Christmas eve (I feel bad for that tree lot guy, he has a lot of trees left for Xmas Eve).  They go back to her place and decorate the apartment with WAAAY TOO MANY decorations for Kate to store year round.  Kate also made a cake and the head to Sally's for dinner.  Miles seems a bit overwhelmed, actually.  But Kate is seeing Sally in a new light, and she's admiring her Dad's relationship.  They go to Christmas midnight mass where they run into Mrs Frumkin, and time resets as they sing Joy To The World.

Date 6, Kate spends the afternoon with Jim, having cocoa and visits the Allan Gardens where Jim explains what being old is like.  Kate goes out and starts buying everything and anything, being a real bad driver, getting a tattoo, eating whatever she wants, dyes her hair, and brings her BFF, and Leigh from the park, to Mrs. Frumkins where they all bake together and dish until midnight, skipping Miles altogether.  Guess her date was with Jim.

Date 7. She helps Lee's boyfriend with his snowflake, makes it home in time for Miles' call, and she watches Miles' junior team he coaches play hockey.  Devon from Letterkenny tells her that they're all boys from a group home.  Miles is their coach, sometimes cook, sometimes tutor.  It turns out their captain, Michael took off from the group home.  But ignoring that Miles teaches Kate to skate, except she was a junior champion figure skater.  It's jarring every time they cut from a very Toronto location to the New York City skyline. 
Every. 
Time.
Kate takes Miles to a park which he "parkitected" and turns out she took the lights from snowflake guy and decorated the big tree there.  Just as Miles is about to kiss her, the clock strikes 12, day resets and she's on the floor of The Bay making kissy faces to Jim and company staring down at her.

Date 8.  It seems Kate is finally getting a sense of self, so she goes off and tells Jack her newfound sense of their relationship, which then leads to coffee, a very adult conversation, and new information about Kate's fear of loneliness.  Cut to dinner, when Sally is telling god-awful jokes.  Kate made dessert.  There's a weird moment, Miles storms out, as Miles does.  Kate gets confused, and clearly she's started falling in love with Miles but each reset is more difficult as a result.

Date 9.  Kate hurts.  So she goes day drinking, and Rivers is already is showing up just after lunch looking for Phyllis.  Poor Rivers, stood up, and desperately hanging out there all day.  Kate rips the bandaid off.  She greets Mrs. Frumkin rudely, but with first-name "we're good friends" familiarity.  She watches Extreme Hoarders in bed with Max, then gets up to see Mrs. Frumkin off to Mass, apologizing to her for her rudeness.  That actually got me a little teary.  Mrs. Frumkin is pretty awesome.

Date 10. Kate starts to help snowflake guy but then sees group home runaway Michael. She tries to confront him, but he runs away.  She kills the rest of the day then, Day 11, follows him to find he has a secret dog he's caring for.  She takes Michael to the rink, and convinces Miles the puppy is a good thing, and then asks Miles out on a date, not revealing that she actually was his date.  They have a nice evening, but the day resets.

Date 12.  Time to pull it all together. Kate wakes up, gives Jim a kiss.  She takes Rivers out for a makeover (he doesn't wind up looking any different).  She sets up Jim with Mrs. Frumkin.  They hit it off.  Kate sees Jack and Nancy and congratulates them.  She helps snowflake guy propose to Leigh.  She sets up Rivers with her BFF, and meets Miles for that drink. She invites all her new friends, including the boys from the group home to Sally and her Dad's for a big Christmas party.  Rivers and BFF are hitting it off.  Snowflake guy and Leigh are happily engaged.  The group home boys are having a blast.  Kate's sister and neices and nephews are there. And it's just all warm and Christmassy.  Everyone sing's this film's 12th rendition of "The 12 Days of Christmas".  Miles leaves to go to Mass and Kate follows him out and they kiss.  Michael Buble sings, the midnight bell chimes, and it starts snowing.

Cut to credits which are accompanied by a weirdly unnecessary highlight reel.

 The Draw:
After Just Another Christmas promised, but failed to deliver a time-loop Christmas, I needed to find one.  There's one called Christmas Every Day from '96, Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas from '99, Hallmark's Pete's Christmas from 2013, and I thought there was another Hallmarkie or Lifetime one but I can't remember the generic name of that one.

The Formulae:
Well, it's a rip on the Groundhog's Day formulae more than it is the Hallmarkie formulae (which hadn't quite been established yet), but there is the requisite Christmas tree lot scene and the hot cocoa and the lead actress with a figure-skating body-double, plus there's more than a handful of misunderstandings based on snippets of overheard conversations, but by using the time-loop formulae it sidesteps most of the usual tropes. 
Oh, and every minor character seems to be hooked up by the end.

Unformulae:
That'd be the time loop.  And actual alcohol consumption.  There's a few moments where people ask if certain drinks are spiked, but they're not.  But much of Miles and Kate meeting up is over drinks.

True Calling?
Yeah but no.  They don't really have 12 dates.  But there are 12 days she relives.  I would have maybe liked it if this were a standard kind of franchise where a mystical thing tells them they have 12 days to sort their shit out.

The Rewind:
Nothing really.  I needed to go back and see if that was really Alexander De Jordy from Letterkenny.  It was!  He looked so young.  He grew up a lot between 2011 and 2016.

The Regulars:
Jayne Eastwood, who plays Mrs Frumkin has been doing TV Christmas movies for years... and is in 3 this year alone (2 Lifetimes and 1 Hallmark).  She keeps busy.

Richard Fitzpatrick who plays Jim has done a few different Xmas movies over the years but he's not quite a regular.

Laura Miyata who plays BFF Miyoko is a regular Hallmarkie supporting player the past few years.

How does it Hallmark?
Much more enjoyable than almost all Hallmarks.  It's really sweet, turns Kate around as a Character very nicely (before we start to really dislike her) and this time loop plays out very, very well.

How does it movie?
It's TV movie quality...shot with that weird gauzy lens they liked to shoot Christmas movies with before Hallmark cleaned things up.  The story with a little comedic punch up, better production values (and likely some recasting of the roles) would serve as a very good movie movie.  It's just not up to that standard as is.

T&K's Xmas (2020) Advent Calendar: Day 22 - The Bishop's Wife

 1947, Henry Koster (Harvey) -- download

Obviously not a Hallmarkie, being that it is from the 40s, but its an Xmas movie on the Peanut Gallery's top Xmas movie list, so we went with it. I have seen it before, but generally don't recall the details, but that it is an odd sort of a movie which is setup as a romance between the handsome lead Cary Grant and Loretta Young, but the hitch is that Loretta, who plays Julia, is the Bishop's (David Niven) wife. And Cary is Dudley, an angel.

Dudley appears on the crowded, festive streets of a never really identified Big City. Everyone is staring in awe at the Xmas decorations in the store front windows, and for those who hadn't seen the movie before, the foreshadowing is right up front -- an angel in the window, just over Dudley's shoulder. Dudley bumps into people, assists on a few minor miracles and acts of kindness, before he comes across Julia staring pensively at a pretty hat. That starts things off, as he insinuates himself into the life of the very busy Bishop, a man who has no time for anyone let alone his wife, focused entirely on satisfying the church elders, so he can raise the moneys required to build a new cathedral. The elders are annoying him to no end. At the top of his Do Not Like list is Mrs Hamilton, the Wealthy Widow.

Dudley steps right in, basically courting Julia, but really just providing her some absolutely charming company while her husband is distracted. It doesn't have to be the 1940s to see how inappropriate this angel is acting around the man's wife, taking her out for lunch, ice skating and even having her daughter entertained, so he can spend more alone time with Julia. The Bishop definitely sees what is going on, and is Not Pleased. In fact, he is so displeased he wants to retract the prayer he made. But nope, you cannot get rid of Dudley that easily.

But don't fret, because despite being rather precocious, Dudley still has his heart in the right place. He knows what he is doing, and despite becoming a bit more fond of Julia than is appropriate in the angel work place, he does make it so everything works out in the end.

My favourite bit is his interaction with the local doddering professor, a family friend of the Bishop and his wife, but someone they have lost touch with. The man is likely an agnostic, but they don't hold that against him, but the heavenly charms Dudley uses on everyone doesn't work on him. That's alright as Dudley gifts him an Everfull Bottle (D&D minor magic item) that constantly refills with Sherry, and a wonderful story about an old coin the professor carries around with him.

This is a wonderfully charming little movie, a little peculiar in its manipulation of expectations, and while it is not overwhelmed with its own Xmas seasonal message, it does fit into the time well.

T&K's Xmas (2020) Advent Calendar: Day 21 - The Christmas Setup

 A Toast to Hallmarkent:
2020, d. Pat Mills - Lifetime

Combined, Lifetime and Hallmark have contributed 70 original 90-ish minute Christmasholiday movies to the pantheon this year.  Add in other channels and services like Netflix, the Paramount network and Asylum Studios and there are well over 100 original XHoliday movies just. this. year.  So I find it funny how often in our little Advent Calendar Toast and I find our way to the same film.  This is the third film we've doubled up on, and we had three last year as well, and then one crossover between the two years.  I think it's more that Toasty and I are drawn to similar things... especially those that seem outside the box.

The Hallmarky/Lifetime/etc formulae has been around for a good long while, but in the past decade it's significantly grown in popularity and in the past three years it has exploded into the mainstream.  Where the dedicated viewers used to be comprised of a specific middle American Christian housemom demographic, the urbanites have caught on to the goofy, repetitious charms of this holiday programming and created drinking games and watch parties out of it.  Podcasts dedicated to both embracing and laughing at them in equal measure have cropped up, and there's even conventions (cancelled this past year). But with all that increased attention has come increased scrutiny and a cry for diversity.  We have even more Black-led movies this year (the formulae of taking former child or teen actors and bringing them into this sphere has seen Sister Sister's Tamera Mowry-Housley, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air's Tatyana Ali, and the Cosby Show's Keshia Knight Pulliam all have regular holiday output the past few years) and a few forays from the big two into gay-led movies (not a lot beyond the L-G in the LGTBQIAA2s realm yet), although there's still a lot of other-cultural representation left off the map.  Lifetime delivered "A Sugar & Spice Holiday", the first Asian-American (who are we kidding, they're probably Asian-Canadian) led holiday movie.  There's been a smattering of Latinx representation though the flavour is still very milky. 

So yeah, Toasty and I, I think, are drawn to the idea of things done differently.  We're a couple middle-aged (ACH! typing that was really painful), cis, white guys who live in a big city.  We're from smaller, more rural places originally so we kind of identify with all the tropes that go on in these things...but I guess the conventional viewpoint is female so that's what keeps them even mildly interesting for us.  But the formulae has become so stale, so we want to see what the formula looks like when someone doesn't fit so neatly into convetions.  Being BIPOC or LGTBQIAA2s in a Perfect Small Town should have a different perspective.  

But then the difference also has to be in who is writing these movies.  Are they representing the culture or viewpoint of the character, or is it just a casting decision to put a different face or gender into the same role you would otherwise slot a white leading lady into?

Which brings us to The Christmas Setup.  Toasty already broke down the story of this very, very well on Day 14, so I won't repeat it in such detail, but I will restate some of what Toasty said, which is that this film feels very much in the Hallmark movie mold, but from a queer perspective.  Ben Lewis' Hugo is looking for the big promotion to partner at work in New York (shot in Ottawa), and waiting for news over the holidays.  His BFF Madelyn joins him in his return to hometown Milwaukee (already different in that it's hardly the "perfect small town") to be with his mom (played by an utterly game and explosively endearing Fran Drescher) for Christmas.  Shortly after his arrival, mom has a Christmas tree delivered from Patrick (Blake Lee, Lewis' real-life husband) who Hugo had a crush on in high school.

There's all kinds of details in this setup.  Hugo has confidence issues, so the ultimatum he gives his boss is a big deal, but he regrets it immediately and worries about it constantly.  Madelyn is man-starved, and she has very specific requirements to fill.  Hugo's father passed years before, but they used to do woodworking together, so back home, Hugo gets into the shop and starts tinkering.  Hugo wasn't out in high-school and was envious that Patrick was.  Mom has her own life doing charity work around town and fighting to preserve historical buildings, like the beloved train station (even getting arrested during a protest... you just know she was being motherly and delightful to the officers who arrested her, praising them for the good job they're doing).

Patrick seems into Hugo from moment one, which seems inexplicable.  He also remembers a lot about Hugo from high-school, even though he's two years older than him, which seems implausible.  Patrick got rich from an algorithm he developed and now does charitable work trying to better Milwaukee.  He's lived the big life already and has now found his place.  It's evident that Hugo's mom talked him up to Patrick, and Patrick was primed for meeting him.

They have a couple casual dates that get a little thorny because Hugo doesn't really think he's sticking around, and Patrick seems to think he can convince him to stay.  But Hugo gets the partnership and is offered opening up a satellite office in London.  No way he's going to turn that up... or will he? (he shouldn't)  They go to a drag show (there was a drag show in Happiest Season as well, is this the Queer Holiday Romance trope?  Into it.) where Hugo sings and Patrick freaks out about getting any more involved with someone who isn't sticking around.  

Meanwhile, Hugo's brother has returned from service to basically be an exceptionally thin love interest for Madelyn.  It's a cookie cutter romance that really doesn't need to be there except to a) add a second romance plot which these things seem to need to have and b) add some sense of military thing which these things seem to need to have this year.  

Anyway, the trains station thing had some interesting aspects to it, but I'm not going to get into it too much, but it did lead to both something meaningful for Hugo and Patrick as well as providing a complication into Hugo's stay-or-go decision making. 

In the end, Hugo and Patrick decide to try a long-distance thing, thinking it's worth at least giving it a shot, although knowing it's a long shot.  Patrick is rich and unemployed, he can fly over to London whenever he wants.  It's just a matter of whether he wants to.

The Draw:
See my long preamble/men kissing.

The Formulae:
It's so formulaic.
-Big city person. Big promotion on the table. Returning home to smaller town. Finding love. Getting promotion. Decision making.
-Meet cute with high-school crush
-So much hot chocolate talk.
-Widowed mother.
-So much time at the Christmas Tree lot.
-Saving the "small town" thing that needs saving.
-Best friend character thirsty for love but mostly involved in main character's love life, only to fall in love basically in the background with another tertiary character.
-Can we put "drag show" as a new queer holiday romance formula?
-Christmas caroling.


Unformulae:
It's such a conventional third act complication in these stories... the big city girlperson gets the dream job but also has the dream love back in their old home...which decision do they make.  Most of the time it's about going for love, the big romantic gesture, sacrificing the career you worked so hard for to have an instant family and some small town job that seems fulfilling but will probably bore you less than a year into it.  It's a happy ending, sure, but if you think realistically they're never a recipe for a happily ever after.  That resentment for the career sacrificed is going to bubble up at some point, the restlessness is going to kick in.

But that formulae, I noticed last year, has changed.  There's a lot more accommodation happening, a lot more "uncertain futures" where the person is keeping their big city job and maybe working remotely or commuting or splitting time.  These are functional solutions but they are not easy ones to maintain, and I commend the people involved for recognizing that fantasy romance shouldn't triumph over career aspirations all the time.

The widowed mother is not moping around but has her own rich life she's leading. Often in these films the parent character isn't around and you never know what they're up to.  We don't exactly know what she's up to all the time here, but we do know she keeps really, really busy.  She's not just living for her boys to come home.  Love her.

The "dates" were both conventional (going for hot chocolate, caroling, romantic Christmas tree lot picnic) and unconventional (drag show, Northern Lights)

Men kissing!!!

 
True Calling?
So while at first it didn't seem like there was an actual set-up in this, turns out that yeah, mom had totally been grooming Patrick for Hugo's arrival and then arranged for the "meet-cute".  And then she would subtly manipulate situations to make sure they spent time together.  She's a good mom.

The Rewind:
This isn't a trainwreck so nothing really rewindable... oh, except looking at those yearbook photos.  I always have to wonder where all those yearbook photos in movies and TV shows come from.

The Regulars:
No regulars but I loved this cast.

Ben Lewis played the adult William (Oliver Queen's son) in Arrow in the last two seasons and he was really great.  I enjoyed him in that role (a character that he salvaged from being an annoying complication).  He was great in this too.

I really like Ellen Wong in everything I've seen her in (I loved her especially in Scott Pilgrim and GLOW), and she was fun in this but I wish her story was much richer.  Give her a lead Holiday Romance please.

Fran Drescher I've never been much of a fan of, but I need to reassess.  She was amazing in every scene in this. As Toasty said, stupendous and exuberant.  She steals every scene.

I have only seen Blake Lee in one prior role, and that's as Derek, the boyfriend of April's boyfriend in the early seasons of Parks and Recreation.  I've watched those a few times over so he's very familiar, even if Derek wasn't the biggest role.  He's quite charming here, but I'm still wondering why Patrick was so keen on Hugo.  They never really explained why he was aware of Hugo in high school.  Unless it was gaydar.

How does it Hallmark?
Better than almost every Hallmark.  Nails the formulae and does it a couple steps better.

How does it movie?
Oh, it's still a TV Holiday Romance, so it's NOT a movie movie.  Happiest Season was a movie movie, and the difference (even if this one was more enjoyable) is palpable.

T&K's Xmas (2020) Advent Calendar: Day 20 - Operation Christmas Drop

 2020, Netflix

OK, this is how a Netflix separated-from-Hallmark-or-Lifetime should be. It follows the formula to some degree but tosses a boatload of cash at it, giving us somewhere new to play. Sure, the formula isn't Shakespeare (though some might argue, his may have been at that level Back Then) but it is ... is ... a palatable structure?

Anyhoo.

Erica (Kat Graham, Vampire Diaries) works on Capital Hill in Washington DC for a Congresswoman Bradford (Virginia Madsen, Dune), an aide of some kind, hoping to get an upcoming Chief of Staff position. Its near Xmas but she has to Work Hard(er) and is using it as the excuse to avoid her family for the holidays, there being a Dead Mom and a Step Mom and all that baggage.

Meanwhile in Guam, Captain Claws Jantz (Alexander Ludwig, Vikings) is preparing for the Operation Christmas Drop, like he has for many an Xmas past. The idea is that the airforce base on Guam gathers together supplies and needed items and just plain Xmas Cheer for a bunch of islands in the South Pacific that are in need. Think big planes flying over, tossing boxes with parachutes into the sea, to be gathered by the smiling, waving islanders. Let's skip right past the America is Great propagandic aspect of this, and just see Claws and his crew as doing a Nice Thing.

Congresswoman Bradford is tasked with Saving Money and decides that Christmas Drop needs to be cancelled, and if that doesn't save enough money, then closing the single air force base on Guam might be required. I doubt that would be considered, as the US probably still needs some sort of presence in the region, but whatever, its fiction and you need Impending Doom and Misguided Bad Guy. Erica is sent, only a week before Xmas, to fly from DC to Guam. That's a 16 hour flight, not counting connections and layovers. Erica should have arrived in a much more ratty state than she did.

Captain Claws is a nice guy, everyone loves him and he is doing Good Things. But Erica isn't going to be charmed that easily, so the relationship is kicked off with mistrust and dislike. He wants to distract her with beautiful beaches and she just wants to read expense reports. The island really is quite lovely. I am pretty sure the writers have seen Death in Paradise, the British-French murder-of-the-week series that is set in the Caribbean, as they use many of the tropes from the show, including New Harry, a CGI gecko that inhabits her living quarters.

As he continues to lead her around the island, she learns of the Operation, why it is exists and why it has to continue, but primarily how little it relies on the US Govt to fund it. Most comes from donations, all the work is done off-hours, and the fuel, flights and actual military required activities are done as part of training exercises. Even the General running the base is All In.

All the while, we see Erica dial down on her fervour to cut costs, as she sees all the smiling islanders so very thankful to the Large Blonde White Man. Sorry, while I did enjoy this movie, the whole White Saviour aspect, so very prevalent in Hallmarkies, gets to me, especially in this one where the male lead is so obviously of Nordic descent, despite being from Vancouver. And the female lead is black. Anywayz, she lets her hair down (literally, lovely hair that it is) and switches out heels for flats.

The penultimate Xmas Event is an Xmas dance put on for all the contributers and helpers of the Operation, a dance on the beach where Erica shows off her dancing skills, and one of the airmen whose name is Sunshine plays a mean fiddle Xmas carol. But the real Xmas Event is the actual drop, which is almost cancelled due to inclement weather and a Congresswoman who shows up all angry and ready to Cancel Xmas. Not sure why, in her bid to Save Money, she would fly an aid to Guam, and then fly there herself. Anyhoo, Erica convinces her to join the event, to see what it does, and the bunch climb on their planes, to throw gift boxes out the back. Big gift boxes. On parachutes. That float, apparently, and hopefully are waterproof as they are all tossed over water.

And when they return, Erica tosses Claws his own Xmas Miracle, as she has pulled one of his own numbers (where he would pull strings and accomplish a seemingly impossible task) and flown in his family, from their somewhere-in-the-midwest farm to Guam, for a real Xmas Event. And she gets a little Santa herself, as the newly reformed Congresswoman the job she always wanted, and Xmas Miracle unto itself, Erica accepts it. She doesn't stay in Guam.

The Draw: Well, for one, Kat Graham, and secondly, a tropical island. While the recurring dream (real dream, not i want to be on an island dream) of being on one has faded away the adoration for places I have never seen have not.

The Formulae: OK, girl in the Big City has a upwardly mobile job, but ends up at a PST instead of staying in the city. OK, the PST is actually a air base on Guam, but its still pretty fucking picturesque to me! She meets a guy who she instantly dislikes, but he's a Good Guy. She's mostly uptight to begin with, but she finally relents and relaxes, and likes him. He is also All About Xmas. His name, while they did some stupid acronym with Claws is really, well, you know... Claus? GET IT? There is an Xmas Event, even a couple for that matter. And in the Great Tradition, the increasingly attracted pair do not kiss until the very end of the movie.

Unformulae: No, the placement on a tropical island is not the greatest break from formula. The fact that she gets the Big Job Offer but KEEPS IT is so fucking amazing. Perhaps they have a reunion sequel in mind?

True Calling? Well considering the movie is named after an actual, IRL thing that goes on, yeah true true true.

The Rewind: Pause to look at the pretty pretty gecko.

The Regulars: Kat Graham has done a few of these. Janet Kidder, who plays an officer in this one, has done a few. That's about it.

How does it Hallmark? While breaking the mould somewhat, I liked it. It was heartfelt, and while Claws was a big lug, I bought into his whole Santa Schtick. And well, Kat Graham can always smile my bad mood away. And the whole American Saviour, while annoying me, is still a pretty nice thing to do for people who are isolated.

How does it movie? Do these ever? 

T&K's Xmas (2020) Advent Calendar: Day 19 - Never Kiss A Man In A Christmas Sweater

 A Toast to Hallmarkent:

(2020, d. Allan Harmon - Hallmark)

The Story:
Going to try it a little different today, and give the broad strokes rather than the play-by-play.

Maggie (Ashley Williams, Hallmark goddess) is a teacher, but school's done for Christmas break so she and Ellen, her 11 year-old daughter, (Kayden Magnuson, Skyscraper, Power Rangers) are volunteering at the youth center at her local military base.  Those kids have one or both parents deployed so the youth center keeps them busy with crafts and stuff.  It's very gingerbread themed this year because there was a huge donation of gingerbread house kits.  It's relevant.

Not quite THE exact sweater in
question, but the same idea

While walking through a park to the base one day (maybe they weren't walking to the base but just walking, however the editing intones they went from the park to the base...the editing also infers that this is the same day as the last day of school but it's not), Maggie and Ellen see a man leaning against playground equipment looking at his phone, his jacket open revealing an ugly elf christmas sweater (see image).  There's also a kid on playground equipment.  The girls make fun of the ugly sweater and then the kid has a fall.  The dude, Lucas (Niall Matter, The Predator, various Hallmarks), is kind of laissez-faire about the whole thing and makes some very well-delivered but poorly written jokes about the whole situation.  He's kind of weirdly gruff but in a goofy way.

The next day (though again, editing makes it seem like it's the same day) Maggie is picking up a tree for the youth center.  The tree lot guy says she has to wait for help to get the tree to the truck... it's not that big a tree and Maggie carries it just fine.  However, in the process she clotheslines a jogger who just happens to be ugly sweater guy.  Somehow that fall BROKE HIS WRIST! Like, shattered it.  It needed surgery! PINS WERE PUT IN!  Honestly.... a jogger running into the tree as Maggie was carrying it should have KNOCKED THE TREE OUT OF HER HANDS, not knocked him over. 

Anyway, Maggie, super chatty, excessively nice and sweet, and super compassionate, takes him to the hospital where SHE'S ALLOWED TO STAY IN HIS ROOM (which isn't a "room" per se, but an area of some set where they put up curtains and added a hospital bed and monitors to give the appearance of a hospital scene (that weren't no hospital).  Who lets a stranger stay in his room, maybe she's a psycho there to finish the job... comeon!  The kid who fell off the thing turns out to be his nephew, as his brother and sister stop by, also to say that the doctor said he can't leave until his post-surgery consult on the 26th.  Aw, he's going to miss his big skiing alone in Aspen trip.  Lucas is a little grouchy, according to his family.  And for some reason he can't stay with them.

Maggie stops by the next day (I realize now, I'm going straight into play-by-play mode again, sigh) with a poinsettia and they go for a walk out to the courtyard.  Okay, it's Hallmark.  They so rarely shoot these things in actual winter, but it looked not warm out in that courtyard (no breath seen though, perhaps set decorated to look more wintery?) and he's just out there in his hospital garb.  That can't be pleasant.  He's humoring Maggie, but we're not really sure why.  It's evident he finds her a little annoying already, but I think he's perhaps a little lonely despite being around his family and his best friend showing up all the time.  Like now... in that "hospital" courtyard where Cameron (Matthew MacCaull, DC's Legends of Tomorrow) turns up to basically say his home life with two young twins is a nightmare but he can come stay with him since all the hotels are apparently booked.  Since that sounds awful we get to the crux of the movie where Maggie, the woman who has basically insinuated herself into his life and maimed him something fierce, offers up her "guest house".  She's on a teacher's salary and her home has a guest house.

Here's the thing...well, a few things about Maggie.  She is divorced, but it was amicable and she's still friendly with her ex and even friendly with his new wife.  She's a painter in her spare time but hasn't really had time to do it too much.  She always wanted to paint in Paris, but has never gone.  This is the first year Ellen is spending Christmas with her dad and Maggie's first year alone.  She's not really sure what she's going to do with herself, but she's thinking she'll paint (she won't paint). She talks a mile a minute and has an infectious smile.  She hovers on that borderline of being annoying but never goes past it. As my wife said, she's aggressively friendly, like a Bernese Mountain Dog.  Who doesn't love a Bernese Mountain Dog?   Also, I'm assuming Maggie's ex has some money and is paying alimony to keep Maggie and Ellen in that gorgeous house.  It's not a mansion but it's a lot.

So, with nowhere else to turn, Lucas takes up the guest house.  Ellen digs his dry wit and laconic personality.  He just wants to be left alone.  We learn he's on sabbatical from a big time architectural firm in NYC, where he designed skyscrapers (he must be loaded, but he looks casual about it).  He worked too hard and burned out, but his boss wants him back as quickly as possible in the new year.  Lucas isn't sure what he wants out of life, which is Hallmark-speak for he wants a Perfect Small Town home and to be a stepdad.  He also broke up with his fiancee earlier in the year because he was a workaholic.  It's hard to picture the Lucas we see as a workaholic, but we have to remember he's probably on an intense regimen of painkillers which are subduing him pretty nicely.

So yeah, he asks to be left alone, which Maggie does for about 10 minutes and then she is in his face (apologetically, but still very up in his business) basically ALL THE TIME.  I'll get to it later about what this movie could have done different, but Maggie's harassment essentially gets Lucas to the youth center where his architecture skills are turned to building a life-sized gingerbread house with the kids.  

There's a fun moment when they arrive at the youth center where Lucas asks Maggie "Is that the tree?" pointing around the room to the various trees until he lands on the one that took him down.  Legit funny, and the moment we first see Lucas' charm.

Maggie and Lucas do all sorts of stuff together and actually become friends.  They redecorate her Christmas tree (because it was decorated the way her ex liked it, not the way she always wanted it), they go to his brother's ugly Christmas sweater party (where everyone is drinking eggnog like people actually like eggnog), and they take a carriage ride where it gets real romantic like and they smush lips.  That carriage ride was getting really steamy as they leaned in to each other, but the kiss was soooooooooooooo tepid.  They should have been crawling on top of each other with the tension that was building and instead it's just ...*smush*, *hold for 20 seconds*, *smile*, *snuggle*.  Santa the carriage driver seemed to enjoy it though.  

So things are going well, they're getting along great.  They're talking to the General of the base who is being very accommodating with their hearts-in-the-right-place-but-the-script-is-too-dumb ideas to surprise the kids with a video conference (which is not actually interactive but instead just a video) of their parents having made gingerbread houses that reflect traditional homes in the places where they are stationed.  And the life-size gingerbread house does look pretty cool.  The big Christmas children's center party is going great, Ellen and her dad and stepmom even show up.  But then Maggie hears Lucas talking to Cameron about buying a plane ticket and going back to New York.  Maggie is crushed and gives Lucas the cold shoulder.

The next day, he gets a clean bill of health and takes off, not before giving Maggie and Ellen presents and he receives his.   They both look at each other with that look of "we should really talk but we're stubbornly not going to and we're both going to feel confused and miserable and, well, bye forever I guess" that these stupid late third-act Hallmark movie complications always do.

Maggie and Ellen celebrate Boxing Day-as-Christmas (because Ellen was at her Dad's place for Xmas, remember) and open up Lucas' gift.  It's his ugly Christmas elf sweater... and two plane tickets to Paris!  Remember when I said he was a skyscraper architect?  Yeah, the guy's got money.  She calls him but he's not answering the phone. Why? Who knows.  The movie doesn't explain that part.

Meanwhile Cameron is driving Lucas to the airport.  Cameron has been Lucas' best friend for a decade and the best present he's ever gotten was a watch...once! Lucas opens up the gift from Maggie and it's that book he told her about earlier in the movie which I didn't tell you about because it's too much to explain.  Anyway, it means a LOT to Lucas, so he tells Cameron to stop the car.

Lucas: "Stop the car!"
Cameron: "Oh, we're going back?"
Lucas: "Yeah, we're going back"
Cameron: "Oh baby!"

I love both Cameron's enthusiasm and his investment (the royal "we").

So Lucas shows up at Maggie's door, she's wearing his sweater, and she thinks he got her message.  No, he went there on his own initiative like the good guy we've learned he can be.  He's grown so much in the...six days since he let his nephew fall off playground equipment while he noodled on his phone.  Anyway, she asks him to join her in Paris, they have a leaping hug, and they go inside to live their lives together forever... except Lucas comes back outside to retrieve his luggage from the porch.

 The Draw:
Ashley Williams.  She's fun, energetic, charismatic, attractive and can be very funny. She was my MVP of the 2019 Advent Calendar. 

The Formulae:
Single mom.  Single guy recently broken up from a bad relationship, escaping a busy work life, looking for something more.  There's a snowball fight, but on a much bigger scale then the usual lazy couple-tossing-fistfuls-of-chipped-ice-at-each other.  Not a grand scale, just bigger.  Everyone only drinks hot chocolate, cider or eggnog, all of the non-alcoholic variety.  Sigh.  Hallmark's big into "supporting the troops" so that's a big side plot here, and it's sweet if a little confusing in its purpose.

Unformulae:
Ex-husband is still her friend?!? Even the new wife is friendly?!?  There's best friend characters who aren't paired up at the end (Maggie's friend, Alyssa [Lisa MacFadden] from the child care center I didn't mention before because she's just there to remind Maggie about how attractive men are and how lonely Maggie is] because they're both married to other people we don't see.  Also, Lucas is good with kids, but he's kind of a shitty uncle...he doesn't really want to spend much time with his own family.  What's going on there I wonder?  

I tend to avoid the military Hallmarks, but they seem to keep seeping into them more and more, so I'm not sure what the troop tropes are.  But a lady General?  Hallmark seemed very proud of themselves for that one.

True Calling?
What? No.  It's a great title for a really silly comedy, but this movie doesn't capitalize on it AT ALL.  Maggie and Lucas are very playful and the leads find a good dynamic with each other, but the whole idea of "never kiss a man in a Christmas sweater" is in reference to an adage Maggie makes up and Alyssa tells her that she just made it up.  This would be a much better movie if, say, the whole movie took place at the ugly Christmas sweater party and Maggie was dodging the advances of many a sweatered man.  Just one idea that plays off this title much better than this one did.  

The Rewind:
Had to check out Lucas getting clotheslined by tree, if only to see if there was any way he could have broken his wrist.  Cameron's "Oh baby".  I really wish instead of the deeper military plot there was a B-plot where Cameron and Alyssa were hooking up.

The Regulars:
Both leads, Ashley Williams and Niall Matter, are effectively Hallmark royalty by now...even if they've not played princes or princesses.
Lisa MacFadden is early in her Hallmark career, but she's very attractive, charming, and is going to be leading one of these things soon enough now that Hallmark is actually doing BIPOC-centered movies.
This seemed like a test run to see how Matthew MacCaull was going to get along with a Hallmark crew, and he did great in a very, very nothing role.  He's going to be leading man next year, I guarantee it.
Brendan Zub (Lucas' brother) has been lead in a bunch of Hallmarks and Lifetimes...I seem to recall a French accent for one of them.

How does it Hallmark?
It had potential to be so much more than bog standard Hallmark but it forgot to check the box, thus it's a mere notch or two above average.  The cast is uniformly good, but the script doesn't really sell it.  It should definitely be much funnier and sillier than it is, but Hallmark doesn't seem to ever want to do a full-on silly movie.  They want to keep safe in their comfort zone, and they finally seem amenable to letting LGBTQIAA2S and BIPOC actors into their comfort zone, but that's about as far as they want to push it.  A little trading on tropes for mild comedic effect, but certainly nothing approaching a full-stop comedy.

How does it movie?
Are you kidding me?  There's the bones here for a solid cinema quality comedy but that would entail Hallmark actually wanting to admit that their characters are really flawed people, have the two leads dislike each other a fair bit for a fair amount of run time, and REALLY INVEST in a script that knows how to be funny.  So many lines of dialogue in this movie just feel written, like nobody spoke them out loud before shooting them.  No adjustments made to accommodate how clunky they are.  Williams and Matter manage to sell their not-so-witty repartee as *almost* witty repartee, but that's acting, doing the best with what they are given.

T&K's Xmas (2020) Advent Calendar: Day 18 - A Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby

 2019, Netflix

How is it I never reviewed our watching of A Christmas Prince from 2017? Or its sequel? Did we even see the sequel? We must have. And this was 2019 ?!? 

*looks back at the wastelands that were December 2017 and 2018*

Oh that's how.

Anyhoo, onto the joy that is the unbelievably terribleness that is the Christmas Prince franchise, set in the same world as Netflix's The Princess Switch. Aldovia is just south of Belgravia, both rather large European countries that replace much of Eastern Europe (Serbia, Bosnia, Hungary, Slovakia, etc). So, instead of being fictional, tiny countries smushed in between other real countries, they actually establish an alternate history for much of Europe. This is also confused by the idea that in A Princess Switch movie, Netflix is running A Christmas Prince. But from what I hear, they also attend the coronation in A Princess Switch 2. So, they are both a movie and real people in that world? As the Internet is saying, the Netflix movie is a documentary. Tee hee.

Anywayz, this is the third in a movie where a blogger from Brooklyn becomes the queen on a fictional country. We have gone past the meet cute, and the Royal Wedding beset by intrigue, to the baby. This is where the stereotypical "romance" movie loses me -- children. Yawn. But, it is notoriously as bad as the others, so I was in.

Is the baby the A Plot or the B Plot? Well, either way the other plot is the Centennial Signing of the treaty between Aldovia and the country just to the east, Penglia, which I misheard as "Penguinia" so, forever after the people will be known as "Penguins". For some reason, the Penguins are Chinese, or ... perhaps Mongol? This alternate history would be absolutely fascinating to read, that led to Southern Russia to be its own Asian dominated country. Anywayz, the treaty signing is a Big Thing, further complicated by Queen Amber is beloved to her people, and mixes it up by wandering around in the Xmas Fair. Queen Ming (the Merciless???) is not as convinced that her own people would allow her to play such a part next to King Tai.

Then, a snow storm traps them all in the lovely little country in the mountains! Then, on the night of the Treaty Signing, the royal seal (arr arr arr) is stolen! If they don't find it before the last bell rings on Xmas Eve, everyone will turn into a pumpkin, a curse laid by a witch hundreds of years ago will bring misfortune upon the coming Royal Baby. Oh, and Aldovia will have to pay back their debts to Penguinia immediately. 

Meanwhile, the Royal Pain in the Ass, cousin Simon has begun courting the token black character Melissa, but nobody trusts him, as he has evil eyebrows and wears black, so he must be the Bad Guy. Also, who else would have stolen the seal? Even the girl who loves him now doesn't trust him, because he has been making nice nice with his old college buddy, attache to the Penguins, Lynn. They must be conspiring together! 

Meanwhile, stick in some ghosts stories about spirits in the dungeons (which look more like catacombs) and the mobility challenged daughter, and Old Queen Mom decide they will investigate. Without help, without guards. Meanwhile the snowstorm a giant bat (?!?!) caused Dr. Magoro to crash, and King Richard has to hop atop his horse to go rescue her, because all the stress has sent Amber into labour. Horse. In a country at ski resort heights, he doesn't have access to a snowmobile, or staff to do it for him. But there was beloved (cringey) horse scene in the first movie, so off he goes. And he hears wolves. That is where I determined that the Bad Guy could be nobody other than Dracula. Giant Bats, wolves, countries that in another timeline would have probably placed this movie in the Transylvanian Alps. Dracula.

But no, it was just disgruntled house staff. Seal found in the crypts dungeons. Baby is born, treaty is signed and all is well. Also, Simon was just finding ways to pay off the Aldovian debt, and looking for the right moment to propose to Melissa. I don't know, Lynn was pretty hot, and it would have added more stability between the two countries.

Dracula obviously decides to hide in the shadows and wait for the next movie before showing his nefarious plot.

The Draw: Because I have seen the other two movies, and they are delightfully terrible. 

The Formulae: Given this is the third movie in a series, the formula is definitely not any Hallmarky meet-cute, but we do get Xmas Fairs, and sleigh rides, and beautifully decorated Xmas Balls.

Unformulae: This is more Disney style Princess comedy with intrigue and a wee bit romance tossed in for good measure. Actually, the romance is not really part of this movie at all, so...

True Calling? Yes, there is a baby. 

The Rewind: Not so much as rewind, but I did so love the scene with the vintage Xmas themed board game involving stacking vintage ornaments upon a wooden Xmas tree stand.

The Regulars: No, none, beyond the people in the earlier movies.

How does it Hallmark? Netflix seems to be creating its own formula, one that borrows more from Disney than from Hallmark. I really don't want them to go down this path, and should they make more originals, with sequels intended, I think they should do a Shared World, and do new meet-cute romances in each sequel.

How does it movie? Oh gawd no. Never again.

T&K's XMas (2020) Advent Calendar: Day 17 - Christmas In Evergreen: Bells Are Ringing

 A Toast to Hallmarkent

(2020, d. Linda-Lisa Hayter - Hallmark)

The Story:

If you recall the events of last year's trip into the most Christmassy Town on Earth, Hannah found love with her best friend since childhood, Elliott, and Michelle was proposed to by Thomas.  Also, the end of last year's tale teased that the creepy elderly twins from Netflix's A Series of Unfortunate Events (and also the new Charmed series according to the many commercials that play between the Hallmark movies on W Network), the Cooper sisters, would be playing a central role in this year's Evergreen tale.

Turns out their involvement in this year's tale is largely tangential.  But we'll get to that.

As is the Evergreen formulae, we open with the storybook and narration from Evergreen resident Nick, who may or may not be the magical being Santa Clause.  Nick gets interrupted by Hannah who proceeds to woman-splain the events of the past three movies much more succinctly than I did.  Some storytelling needs a woman's touch.  Anyway.

Back in Evergreen, Elliott's management of Hannah's family tinker shop has been doing very well, so well that Elliott wants to expand to a satellite store(?shop?) in Boston.  He gets the grant he needs for the expansion.  Hannah is excited for Elliott, but not for herself.  Elliott seems to have found his purpose, Hannah is still searching.  They have a conversation about how the people of Evergreen see them.  I thought they were talking about maybe some deeper sort of racial thing, alas it's just as surface level as it appears. 

These two big questions are posed to Hannah in the first ten minutes and by minute 20, she's got her answers.  This is not a soul searching quest of a movie. At. All. Hannah talks with Allie's hot mom (Allie makes a return appearance, Ashley Williams dropping by for a day shoot for this scene and a cut-in later, and so does Allie's stepdaughter Zoe, who has gotten very teenagery... I thought for sure they were going to try and massage a puppy love story between Zoe and David) and asks her point blank how the townspeople see her.  Hot Mom responds with "Well, we see you as wonderful...you do so much. In fact, sometimes I think you do too much.  You say yes to everything....The job, the choir, any favor anybody ever asked of you.... You're so like your mama.  Ambitious, and passionate and caring. That's how the town saw her, and that's how we see you."

So that's one answer down. (Hannah then leads the choir into a very atonal rendition of Jingle Bells, that old church choir staple).  

Hannah then visits the work-in-progress Evergreen Christmas Museum, the brainchild of Mayor Michelle.  They talk about how people should know Evergreen's history and for a moment there I thought they were going to talk about some dark secret, but no, it's just about Christmas.  They're 10 days to the grand opening at the Christmas Festival and Michelle has had no luck finding a suitable applicant to be manager of the museum, and she's busy planning her Christmas Day wedding(seriously Michelle?!? I guess when practically everyone you know lives in Evergreen or comes back for Christmas you don't really think twice, but what about Thomas' friends and faamily?  Are you really forcing them to travel for Christmas?!  What did Jennifer from A New York Christmas Wedding say... "It is absurd...it is...it is selfish..." Effing right it is.) to manage the launch properly.  Of course Hannah nominates herself for the job, which Michelle enthusiastically accepts.  She basically tosses Hannah the keys and there's a cartoon dust trail as she races out the door so fast.

Back at the Tinker Shop, Hannah has the good news for Elliott that in the span of an afternoon she's become both self-aware and has found her true purpose (running the Museum...).  Elliott is committed to Boston so they decide it's time to take a break.  It would be a much bigger deal if there was any romantic chemistry between Rukiya Bernard and Antonio Cayonne... I mean, their characters were supposed to be lifelong pals, having grown up together, but their dynamic screams "brother and sister" not "lovers".

 Ex-mayor Ezra's also back for a cameo or two...he said Boston kind of sucks.  He's still looking for a job, and he broke up with his boyfriend ... Oliver, who if you recall, was Lisa's business partner from the second Evergreen.  Oliver was clearly gay but they never bothered to mention it at all... to the point that Oliver and Lisa's friendship was used as a reason to keep Kevin and Lisa apart.  Silly.  Likewise, this is the fourth film where Ezra appears and this is the first confirmation that he is gay as well, nevermind having hooked up with a previously introduced character.  Sigh. 

Meanwhile, Michelle is getting nervous since Thomas is skyping or facetiming or zooming her to let her know that inclement weather may keep him from Evergreen...and their wedding!  To soften the blow Michelle's sister Sonya shows up.  She's not into this Christmas town.  It's weird, but she gets one look at Kevin's dad, the Christmas tree farmer and starts thirsting.  But all it amounts for in this show is a few flirty glances between them.  Come on, Evergreen, get your shit together!

Later Michelle and Sonya's dad shows up.  Michelle was warned there was bad blood between her and her dad...and when he arrives with the white lady, well...that's the reason why right there.  Though sidestepping the race thing, it's because Sonya feels it's too soon after their mom passed (plus Sonya is hungry for that white man tree farmer so it's not a race thing).  Long story short, Sonya and dad's ladyfriend bond over watching It's A Wonderful Life while drinking cocoa with a candy cane in it.

Hm, what else.  Oh so despite being on a break, Hannah and Elliott kiss sitting at the church piano (like in the last movie, only sadder, and kind of grosser... like, your kissing siblings).  Thomas confirms the weather is going to keep him away from the wedding (good thing the sum total of people who traveled to Evergreen explicitly for Thomas and Michelle's wedding was 3).  Mayor Michelle is so bummed.

David and Michelle's family plan a romantic webcam visit with Thomas (not sure how Michelle did that hair all by herself, but well done!) which they surprise her with, and it's sweet, but it's not the Evergreen Christmas wedding we were promised, likely as a result of COVID.  Maybe they can do an Evergreen Christmas in July wedding special?

Oh and then this cantankerous old coot shows up, angry about what's happened to the Hat Factory (where the Museum resides) he ran into the ground decades earlier, and demands the museum shutter itself immediately.  As if Hannah didn't have enough of her plate, she has to deal with the Cooper twin's older brother who, somehow with a 1/3 share in the building, is able to railroad everything.  But a fateful breakdown in Allie's grandfather's red truck (still being driven around like the town whore) sends grumpy old man back to the factory to see a video of his sisters talking about what the hat factory and their brother meant to the town, and he has a change of heart.  The fact that Santa (who was most certainly not Nick was there to help fix the truck had not impact at all on what was actually the main storyline of the movie but I glossed over because it was pretty dull and stupid,

In the end, Hannah has her dream job, Elliott decides to compromise and commute between the Boston satellite and the Evergreen fix-it shop, like this was a sudden realization that never dawned on them before. Oh and Allie's pregnant.

The Draw:
It's Evergreen dammit.  I *had* to check in on this weird-ass little town. 

The Formulae:
So much hot chocolate. Supposedly playmantic snowball fight.  Someone getting delayed from a big event due to weather.  Real life complication resolved without taking into account real life complexity.  Someone who hates Christmas that the lead character has to help turn around.

Unformulae:
Well, the person delayed my inclement weather is actually delayed and can't make the thing.  Whaat?  The lead character's efforts to turn the old crank around backfires and it's a bit of magic and/or happenstance that inevitably does turn him around.  So many Black faces, so wonderful to see.  The town was so white 4 movies ago with token black roles.  I said then I wanted to see both Rukiya Bernard and Holly Robinson Peet front and center and they kept creeping up with each film to now dominating Evergreen.  Too bad the Wedding payoff was such a bummer, and that Hannah's love interest is dullsville.

True Calling?
Yes and no.  While it's always "Christmas in Evergreen", "Bells are Ringing" is a dumb subtitle which they try to make fit by shoehorning in some music bells into the choir for two quick scenes.  I've had enough of shitty pretend music bell playing for this year, thanks Feliz NaviDAD)

The Rewind:
I had to rewind the look Sonya was giving Kevin's tree-farming dad.  It's not as blatant as I first thought, yet she winds up sitting next to him at their family feast (I keep forgetting Thomas is Hannah's brother, therefore David is her niece and Michelle's going to be her sister-in-law).

Oh, and cranky old man was told by Santa to go fetch a wrench to help fix the truck, and he comes back with... a plumbers wrench.

The Regulars:
It's all regulars... we more need to talk about who's new.
Marci T. House as Sonya has been in Rocky Mountain Christmas in 2017 and this year's Cranberry Christmas and more.
Jerry Wasserman, as cranky Jeb Cooper, has just started his Hallmarkie career this year (probably due to COVID restrictions) he's in three of them.  A mid-season romance Love Under the Olive Tree  and another Hallmark Christmas with Christmas She Wrote.

How does it Hallmark?
It certainly feels like Hallmark. 

How does it Evergreen?
It's not great.  Diminishing returns it seems with each go around to this festive town.  I don't like that cranky old man plot took away from the Sonya and Kevin's Dad hookup, or the David and Zoe hookup.  Two plot lines (as well as a wedding, for real
this time) ready to go for the next one.

Oh and a spin off in Detroit where Oliver tries to win back Ezra's affections while Ezra is running Elliott's Boston satellite shop.  Make it work.

How does it movie?
Bad. Real bad.

T&K's Xmas (2020) Advent Calendar: Day 16 - The Christmas House

2020, Michael Grossman (Pretty Little Liars) -- download

Yup, its confirmed, despite only knowing him from iZombie, I rather like Robert Buckley. He's handsome, charming and a sincere sounding everyman, well the Hollywood idealized version of one. That shot in the far-too-tight tshirt proves he ain't and every man.

OK, after the fake-out start with us seeing Mike (Buckley) in his Handsome Justice TV show, we are invited to his PST by his parents, who are resurrecting The Christmas House after a 20 years hiatus. Can something that was abandoned 20 years ago really be called a tradition? Anywayz, Mike is amazed they are going to do it, as it usually takes months to setup, and Mom & Dad want to do it in two weeks. AND Mike's brother Brandon, and his husband Jake, will be coming Home for Xmas, to help.

There we go, Hallmark (as this is a proper Hallmark movie) does queer inclusion. Not main characters, but still, it's a start, right? But was there even a single BIPOC person in the movie? Nada. Had to make sacrifices to get in the gays, I guess.

Anywayz, Mike comes home to PST wherein Mom begins her regimental duties of setting up the Christmas House. WTF is a Christmas House, you ask? Well, think of the Grizwald's overdone house, but not just outside, but inside as well. Every room will have a theme, and neighbourhood kids will be invited. So, the Xmas Event of the movie is in their own home. Think about it; it's been 20 years since this was last done, so most of the attendees will never have heard of or seen it before. Kinda weird. And expensive. Oh those PST families and their higher income brackets!

Living right next door is Mike's old childhood magic act partner Andi, who was also the crush of his life, whom he never got together with, after a failed attempt to give her a (magic) gift under a mistletoe. So, sparks ignite, but the two are not drawn to each other. Mike has a flagging but popular TV show, which he and his agent are fighting to keep alive. Mom & Dad have some weird sort of tension going on, which is revealed to being them putting the family home up for sale -- they are kind of breaking up. And Brandon & Jake are dealing with their own drama, waiting on the news for their latest adoption attempt. So, stress all around, and this might be the last chance to have an Xmas like they did as kids, as a full family, in the house.

Andi is a single mom (just divorced, no Dead Dad), and a realtor, who takes on the listing of Mom & Dad's house. Her son Noah shows interest in Majestic Mike's once magic act, and the two begin bonding over it. Starved for make role model affection, and all that. Mixed into that is the weird owner of the town magic shop, and his weird fake accent, and his weird desire to buy the house. Magic Shop Owner is just weird all about, and in another movie, we might suspect him of .... scrrrtch... Hallmark movie! Wholesome!

Light Romance Movie stuff continues, including Mike doing a quick commercial (with Noah) for Andi's business, which brings both tension and a boost in business for her. While the two are obviously attracted to each other, Mike still is a Hollywood TV star who intends on returning to LA. Also, Mom & Dad are sad, mainly Mom, because she felt left out after Dad retired and actually found things to do, outside of the house, that didn't involve Mom. Seems like a rather petty reason to leave your husband, but Hallmark does as Conservative Christians do, so...

As expected, Mike has to run off to NYC on Xmas Eve to try to save his TV Show; Handsome Justice has been cancelled ! Oh noes! Majestic Mike might just have to become Magic Mike to pay the bills. And also as expected, he ends up ditching the meeting to go back home, to celebrate the Xmas Event with all the neighbourhood, including Weird Magic Store Guy who is very eager to buy the Mom & Dad house, even offering cash up front. Who carries around a couple of million dollars cash, to buy a house?? Also, why do they expect Magic Store Guy to have that much money. I hope Andi did a credit check on him. Meanwhile Christmas House is a big success, and is pretty nifty looking. Noah does a big magic show event involving Andi and Mike (but no Andi red dress...) and all is well in the world.

Christmas Day! Apparently Magic Store Guy backed out of house deal at the very last second, on Xmas Eve. What an anti-Claus!! BUT BUT, they have a new offer, and that happens to be MIKE ! Handsome Justice is now part of a NYC city based spin-off, and he can commute from the PST to NYC for shoots. Also, Mom & Dad are not breaking up, and will buy a fixer-upper and work on it together. Also, Brandon and Jake are getting a baby! And Tiny Tim doesn't die! Xmas Miracles all around! 

As we wind out, we see the family that Mike and Andi have established, wearing match matchy red PJs and enjoying the new (ongoing) tradition of the Christmas House. And we get a body spray ad.

The Draw: Honestly, because Kent's post was so much fun, and because Robert Buckley. This just proves that his charm and easy going manner was not just Major Lillywhite from iZombie, but himself. Also of note, is that he was exec producing and writing. I will have to look into his further Hallmarkie flicks.

The Formulae: This is pretty straight forward, being a pure Hallmark Channel movie: Big City Guy coming home to the PST in Upstate NY. The Xmas Event is the centre of the entire movie. At this point, Fake Snow is becoming a trope I will have to add in, and its pretty prevalent here, if decently done. There was the Brief Run Away and just as quick Return. And I have to be loud about this being part of the formula, but the severe lack of BIPOC characters was pretty strong in this one. C'mon Buckley, flex those muscles and be more inclusive, not just token gays. And no, I don't think Andi being latinx applies as inclusivity in America, but maybe they do?

P.S. How does the POSTER formula? I hadn't caught how pretty much every Hallmark Xmas movie poster of late has to be dominated by red, gold and green.

See this post on Twitter.

Unformulae: Well, for one, we have both parents! And Andi's ex was also not dead. Not Dead People is a good break from formula. Also, Gay People. 

True Calling? Well the whole movie is about setting up the Christmas House, so yeah.

The Rewind: Well, just like Kent, I did have to another peek at the Xmas Dessert, which look mysteriously like Timbits. But it turns out, there is a traditional latin dessert called a buñuelo, which is a doughy fritter, much like a Timbit in some instances. So, attempt at authenticity? 

The Regulars: As Kent pointed out, many of them have done a few, but not a whole lot. 

How does it Hallmark? I consider this Hallmark+ in that its a cliche Hallmark style story, but was more than the average of charming. Might even watch it again.

How does it movie? Despite being a cut above the norm for Hallmark, I wouldn't go so far as saying this is normal movie fare. Normal? Theatre release? Maybe general TV movie level? That almost seems insulting.

T&K's XMas (2020) Advent Calendar: Day 15 - A New York Christmas Wedding

A Toast to Hallmarkent: A New York Christmas Wedding
 2020, Otoja Abit - Netflix

The Story:

Hah, trying for that "Love,
Actually" vibe with the poster.

It was three days ago and already I've forgotten... I shouldn't have been so lazy and made notes along the way.

Opening run-on narration, "In heaven, love comes easy and never goes. I should know, but on earth we all know that learning to love one another is difficult and much more complicated than it should be. In New York City, under those bright lights, there are 8 million people each with their own love story. So, let me take you out to Queens, because this one's personal and it happens to be my favourite."

1999, teenage Jennifer is getting ready for...something.  She's getting dressed, making cookies, spiking eggnog and having memories of her best friend.  If you didn't know this was a queer love story you'd kind of be questioning what was going on...but then if you didn't know this was a queer movie I'm not sure why you'd be watching it, unless the title tricked you into thinking it was generic Hallmarkie fare.

Cut to young teenage Gabrielle in trashbag Vinny's bedroom...with trashbag vinnie.  Jennifer calls, and is angry. Gabby is late, and Jennifer sounds...jealous. They argue, and Jennifer tells Gabby their friendship is over.  Her best friend, who was there for her when her mom died, is now, officially dead to her.

20 years later Jennifer is switching careers from Goldman Sachs to veterinary assistant.  When they have to put a dog down, Jennifer takes it hard, talking about how her dad died and her best friend died all in the same year.  She sees a young lesbian couple canoodling on the subway and smiles a faint smile before looking away.  

Back home, she's groped (lovingly) while getting changed in the closet by her fiance.  Again, knowing it's a queer love story, I'm not sure how to take this scene, but for how it's portrayed... Jennifer is only rebuffing David's advances because his mom's in the other room.  A difficult dinner with Alpha Mommy ensues.  Alpha Mommy has decided on the flowers and colour scheme and theme and date for the wedding...3 months... December 24.  Jennifer has a bad association with Christmas and this doesn't suit her well.  "Honestly David, who had a wedding on Christmas Eve? It is absurd...it is...it is selfish..."  You got it Jennifer. Alpha Mommy drives Jennifer to change an go out for a run.  

"Jennifer, did I upset you?" Alpha mommy calls out, not a hint of concern in her voice, sipping her martini as Jennifer takes off.

While out jogging, Jennifer witnesses a man on a bike get hit by a car.  She tries to control the scene but "Azrael Gabison" (spelling taken from closed captioning...it's important) keeps insisting he's fine...in fact, there's not a scratch on him.  The driver takes off and Azrael says "It's a stolen car."  Weird, how would he know that.

"You're not even dirty, it's amazing"
"Yeah girl, I'm good"

Azrael and Jennifer have a bit of a heart to heart...or rather just a "heart to".  Not a lot of share back from old Azrael.  Jennifer says about David "I love him, and I look forward to marrying him"..earnestly, so Azrael says "Ok, so what's the problem."  "A Christmas Wedding?"  Azrael says "Everyone loves a Christmas Wedding," clearly having met no one, because no one loves a Christmas Wedding.

Azrael tells her that when she wakes up tomorrow, she will see endless possibilities and the answer to her questions.  Which makes no sense, especially considering what's to come.  As she falls asleep she hears Azrael tell her the same thing again...as if we didn't just hear it or catch on to the weight of it 90 seconds earlier.  I hate it when films think the audience is that dumb.

So when Jennifer wakes up, she finds herself in a strange bed, no David beside her, being licked by a strange dog, Smudge.  Gabby, 20 years older than she last remembers her, is berating her for still being in bed.  Jennifer needs to go walk the dog and they have a meeting with Father Kelly.

Disoriented but going with the flow, Jennifer goes out and walks the dog.  While out she runs into Azrael in a back ally.  He tells her that he will explain, but yes, this is her home.  She insists he take her back to David's place...  and in the blink of an eye he teleports them both (dogs too) to David's apartment where a little girl answers the door, calling him Daddy, and then some white lady shows up with another child.  Jennifer is clearly confused.

Azrael snaps them back to the ally.  He explains he's Jennifer's guardian angel, and that this isn't a dream, but an alternate world, where she's engaged to Gabrielle, who didn't die 20 years ago, neither did her dad.  Azrael tells her she has 48 hours to "embrace it all". She goes and visits her father, who is kind of confused by her excessive affection, and she's reminded she's late to meet Gabby at the church.

There she witnesses Gabby conducting someone singing a beautiful, operatic rendition of "Silent Night".  They meet with Father Kelly who, although he has supported them and counseled them over the years (and notes that Gabby was his "favourite"), insists that as a part of the Catholic Church he cannot marry them, and they cannot marry in the church.  Gabby notes that "Pope Francis welcomes all, and he expects Priests like [him] to usher their parish into modern times".  

Father Kelly said "the author of marriage is God, not society, not government, not man, not your priest."  Dumb argument.  It gets more heated and Gabby really stands up, saying she "feels welcome, but not equal" at his church.  She notes their past, and insinuates that Father Kelly supported her (though they don't specify what he "advised her" the insinuation here is she had an abortion) when she found out she was pregnant and disowned by her parents.

They run into fucking Vinny, hes still a gross piece of work.  Jennifer knocks him the fuck out.  Cause you know, it's a Christmas movie.

After dinner with Jennifer's dad, drinking water instead of tequila due to his heart, they rehash the day 20 years before that they had that fight, that Jennifer told Gabby she was dead to her, the day Gaby got knocked up, the day everything changed.  Jennifer gets Gabby's perspective on everything.  They go to bed, and make love to "O, Christmas Tree".

Father Kelly watches CNN, where Wolf Blitzer notes an encounter one man had with Pope Frances, that when he told the pope he was gay, the pope responded "God made you like this, God loves you like this."  It's a strange moment, cutting to Chris Noth watching TV.

When Jennifer wakes up on Christmas she dresses up for service and Father Kelly reads from the Old Testament, First Corinthians, Chapter 6, verse 9... the verse which all the "religious right" use to condemn homosexuality primarily.  A weird way to start your sermon. I'm beginning to think this is not a Hallmark movie. 

 But he turns it all around.  Father Kelly calls it the most misused verse in the bible, people are dying because of it.  He stands proudly to proclaim a change to his church, that they will from then on embrace love as love.  It's a powerful speech.  A few people walk out, and he looks perturbed by their actions... shouting "Love. IS. LOVE!  Is there any doubt in your mind."

He then calls up a handful of people to the pulpit and this is where this movie gets contentious(at least on Letterboxd), these are the gay people in his church and he offers them the holy communion, the first for "same sex couples in this church".  People on Letterboxd think that he's outing these people, but I'm pretty sure these people are already out, especially if they are couples, so he's not actually outing them, and it's a pretty powerful moment, so long as you don't think he's outing them.

Then, a surprise marriage, and as he says the vows to Jennifer, she thinks of David, and pauses.  Her love is torn but she realizes where her true heart is and she says her "I do".  A beautiful, badly lit, service in the back of the church arranged by her father ensues.  Jennifer changes into a stunning dress Gabby bought her  Then Azrael turns up.

Shit gets ominous.  The music is so eerie.  He tells Jennifer she needs to make her peace with this world, that it's all over.  Jennifer, of course, is like, "what the fuck?"

Azrael explains he's the stillborn child of Gabrielle.  "Gaby-son". Again, What the fuck?

This experience was for Jennifer to live her truth. 
I'm not sure what truth.
Then David shows up and asks Jennifer to come with him.  The music is so damn ominous. Then Gaby turns up... as if to say to Jennifer she has to choose who to go to, like a dog being called by co-owners.  But no, when she looks at Gaby, she turns back and David is gone.  What the fuck.

Jennifer doesn't want to fall asleep, she's so happy with Gabby.  But they do and she wakes up to David kissing her.  She thinks it's the dog.  Why does she think a dog's lick and David's kisses are the same?  David's clearly doing something wrong.

She and David have a conversation, she feels okay being back, just shocked.  They go to the church, to look for Father Kelly.  He's not there anymore but the administrator tells her that Father Kelly was a good man, but removed from the ministry for officiating many private same sex marriages, he even married her and her wife.  She learns the story from the admin that Father Kelly counseled Gabby for weeks to keep her child.  She followed through only for the baby to be stillborn.  She was so depressed she walked through a crosswalk and was hit by a car.  This is grim, this movie.

Out in the main churchy area (I'm not a church guy) she explains to David that Gaby was her first love and she had to know what happened.  Then she sees Azrael sitting in a pew (David does not).  Azrael asks if she's happy.  

"It's hard to be right now, but I can be"

"Ok, I'm going to give you the power to make one final choice...I can take you back in time, if that's what you want.  I am your guardian angel.  However, depending on how far back, I will never be able ti visit you again, and I will cease to exist.  Are you okay with that?"

Jennifer faced a life with her truest love and her father being alive, and this Angel thinks that his two-day-old presence in her life matters mire than the potential lifetime with these people.  What kind of choice is that?  Azrael is weird as hell and I like him, but he really kind of sucks.  He's playing so many games with Jennifer.

She ditches David (knowing he'll be okay with his Fortune 500 company and white lady wife) and goes back in time where somehow Gabrielle makes a different choice that fateful day, and she calls Jenny instead.  Why there are these differences I don't know, but Jennifer chooses not to say what she feels over the phone.  Gaby shows up and they make out and have a wonderful freeze frame forever.

The Draw:
I'm supporting the gay Christmas films this year, so this went on my list when my current favourite reviewer Alonso Duralde mentioned it on his "Christmas Zaddy Minute" on the "Who Shot Ya" podcast.  He said it was insane, and he was not wrong.

The Formulae:
While the title SCREAMS Hallmarkie movie...it's got, like, none of the tropes.  None.

Unformulae:
All of it.  It's all outside of the formula.

True Calling?
I guess?  Where a Hallmarkie would spend the whole movie building up the wedding in either (or both) reality, and come up with trite complications to get in the way, here it's less about the wedding than Jennifer's bisexual love triangle...or the absurdity of the Catholic Church's stance on homosexuality?  Honestly it's pretty muddle in what it's trying to focus on here.

The Rewind:
I love Father Kelly's sermon (I don't believe for a second he's outing those people).  Chris Noth delivers it beautifully with real heartfelt emotion.  Love is love.  Beautiful.

The Regulars:
Hah, nope. No Hallmark regulars here

How does it Hallmark?
Not even.  It's not very feel-good, or upbeat, or even very Christmasy.  It gets dark, and bugnuts weird.

How does it movie?
It's cheap looking and the acting can be kind of spotty (not bad, more, we don't have enough time or budget to really perfect a scene), the lighting is often noticeably horrendous, and there's so much shifting-into-focus that it gets a little distracting.  The music is a mixed bag, but the last 25 minutes of the film feels like this was meant as an episode of a paranormal anthology like the Outer Limits or Black Mirror (it's not as good as even the worst Black Mirror though).  Yeah, like a middling episode of an anthology TV show, not a movie.

T&K's XMas (2020) Advent Calendar: Day 14 - The Christmas Setup

 2020, Pat Mills (Guidance) - download

Shout out to writer Michael J Murray, who started his career writing terrible horror movies, but who more recently fell into writing THESE kinds of Hallmarkies. This is the first of these movies that seemed to be self aware! And I believe he has done one of the first not just gay friendly, but gay led, movies!! Kent has mentioned before how the Lifetime and Hallmark model is not very progressive, and considers a token back character, or token gay character, as progress. It ain't. Murray, while holding to the Hallmarky tropes also seemed to have details of plot, that most, if not all, of these wouldn't even bother with. He does a traditional movie with main characters who happen to be gay.

We open with our stock photography shots of NYC. At some point, I am going to have seen so many of these movies, that I will actually be able to recognize the same shot being used once again. We meet Hugo (Ben Lewis, "Other Scott", Scott Pilgrim vs the World), young Business Man (lawyer) in the Big City who stands up to his boss and demands a promotion to partner. Boss needs time to think about it, and Hugo takes said time to go home to spend Xmas with his family. He brings along his best friend Maddie (Ellen Wong, "Knives Chau", Scott Pilgrim vs the World) who was to be alone during the holidays.

Mom (Fran Drescher, "Fran", Scott Pilgrim vs the World The Nanny) is ecstatic Hugo has come home, and I mean ecstatic. Mom is just stupendous, 110% Fran Drescher exuberant. But its not just a "my son is home for Xmas" exuberance, as she has something in mind -- Patrick (Blake Lee, Parks & Rec), handsome, successful but now living at home in Milwaukee, is gay and single.

At first, there is some meet cute, where Patrick is not aware Hugo is gay, and assumes Maddie is his wife. Hugo is VERY aware of Patrick as he was the popular, handsome and very Out guy in highschool, when Hugo had not yet come out. Once that is cleared up, they begin hanging out. Unlike many of these movies, it is very clear that the two are not just hanging for the sake of some plot contrivance. Oh, the contrivance IS there, the Xmas Event, a party held for the neighbourhood kids to write letters to Santa, and held at the local heritage train station, which is in danger of being shut down, but the contrivance is the only reason they begin hanging out. This is 5 star meet cute, not yet quite dating time, but with clear intentions, despite Hugo's hesitation, knowing full well he is going back to NYC at the end of the Xmas season.

The B plots are just as engaging, with Hugo and Patrick discovering that the man who founded the tran station was likely a closeted gay man, inspiring Hugo to seek ways of saving the station from demolishing. Hugo is a lawyer from NYC, and there is a really smart statement where Mom actually checked with the state bar association, and determined Hugo can in fact work in Milwaukee, and after he discovers an important detail, can work on behalf of his mom to save the station. And Hugo's brother shows up, a handsome straight man that Maddie cannot keep her eyes off. Seriously, the thirst on her face startling obvious. In Aiden (Chad Connell, Warehouse 13) she sees a man his 30s who is single and still fit, which she points out as rare. OK Maddie, way to be shallow but sure... and they make a cute couple.

Then Hugo gets the offer of a partnership in his firm. BUT he has to move to London and open the office there. Not only does he hurt his mom, at the idea he will be so far, but finally its very clear to Patrick that there is no future with Hugo, unless they do long distance. And neither seem up to that. But eventually, through the further discovery of the relationship between the train station owner and his "coworker", Hugo begins to realize that its worth fighting for things between he and Patrick. I will admit I was not sure if Hugo rejected the promotion, to stay in Milwaukee, or just that he will work to have a LDR, but the two decide to stay together.

The Draw: Honestly, because this was the first Gay Hallmarky we had seen, and since the other offering (gay xmas romcom) left such a sour taste in our mouth, we were wanting something more... formulaic?

The Formulae: Big City Business guy goes back to PST (well, Milwaukee is smaller than NYC) and ends up bumping into an eligible beau from his past. Meddling Mom tries to connect the two while also involving them a local Xmas Event (the Xmas Letter writing for kids). We also get a Xmas Tree Lot and even an evening of Xmas Caroling !! There is also the conflict between Stay in PST vs Return to the Big City.

Unformulae: Does two gay men as the romantic leads break the formula? No, no it doesn't. There was the very sweet kiss before the end of the movie, and the very clear recognition that these two were interested in each other; most movies usually pretend their is no connection until the conflict at the end brings it to a head. Occasionally there is Competition for Affection in these movies, but not here. Probably already too many gay people in one Lifetime movie already (#drippingwithsarcasm). 

True Calling? Yeah very much so. Mom is very transparent about setting her son up with Patrick :) We even get a Side Setup, with Aiden the Single Straight Brother appearing to set Maddie all a-flutter. 

The Rewind: Nothing really rewindable.

The Regulars: Only Single Straight Brother Aiden (who is gay IRL) is a regular in Hallmarkies.

How does it Hallmark? Yeah, this Hallmarked right down the hall. In fact, it set the bar higher. This was sweet, sincere, without any real cringey moments and everyone was likeable. Given that it kept my attention enough that I didn't even notice if there was fake snow, or not, yeah good on them.

How does it movie? No, despite being a high marks for Hallmarkies, it is not original or compelling enough to be a good movie on its own.