Friday, October 7, 2011

31 Days of Horror / Fall 2011 (pt 5): America Horror Story

You might say this is a cop-out because it's a combo of the two themes I have been working on. But I didn't say that the 31 Days of Horror had to be a movie, did i?  I think this is a perfect example of synchronicity.

American Horror Story is the latest creation from Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk, the team responsible for Glee.  I will preamble by saying that I am not influenced by the fact that I hate Glee but ...  well, I didn't like this much either.

This is a haunted house story, as the Harmons move from the east coast to LA, to live in the place we saw twin boys murdered in the opening sequence by something that can only be described as a evil little person in a christening dress.  That was the 70s and I guess it was just one example of the Evil That Houses Do.  Of course, all Evil Houses are gorgeous and more expensive than the focus family can afford.  And of course, even after they find out that the most recent owners had a murder-suicide, it doesn't deter their expectations for the house that will fix their marriage.

You see, they are a couple in trouble.  She had a miscarriage and it left her understandably damaged. He cheated on her. Their daughter is all messed up over all of it. So everyone has moved to  the west coast to start again.  The problem, at least through my eyes, is that no one is very likeable.  Ms Harmon is moody and visibly hostile to her husband. Mr Harmon is horny as all hell and angry at his wife for not forgiving him. And daughter is just an angry annoying cutter.

So, forgive me for not being all that broken up when the soothsaying ("Yer all gonna die!!!") girl next door (Down's Syndrome) and her even creepier mother (Jessica Lange), who seem to have keys to the place, appear to add to the already stressed family's troubles.  And the creepy old lady / masturbating young lady redheaded (evil!) housekeeper shows up demanding to either clean the house (her way, her clothes) or .... well, fuck Mr Harmon.  Said housekeeper must be a ghost or a hallucination or ... something. But she/they are quite the disruption so I don't see why she/they are not kicked to the curb immediately. But Evil Houses need two legged antagonists so...

Not entirely sure what I disliked about it but it just felt like all those aspects of shows with people I get annoyed with.  Seriously, kick the annoying neighbor out and change the locks.  Ban the creepy housekeeper from returning. Tell her sexy young thang counterpart to put some clothes on and masturbate at home.  Transfer the Columbine Kid to another therapist and tell the Burning Man to go confess his murdering tendencies to someone else.  This family is going to have enough to deal with when the ghosts of confirmed dead people start showing up, especially that clawed  thing in the christening dress.  That thing wigged me out.

Oh yeah.... a gimp suit.  Seriously?  What's next, a dwarf who talks backwards?  Maybe, wearing a christening dress?