3 Short Paragraphs: Anna

2013, Jorge Dorado -- Netflix

OK, let's dig back into the archives, something I saw weeks ago and has pretty much faded from my mind. I don't have enough to do a I Saw This but I am sure we can babble on about this one for three paragraphs. Anna or Mindscape stars Mark Strong, and is set 20 minutes into the future when there exists a type of detective psychologist that can delve into people's memories. I honestly was never sure why they existed but I guess they are hired out to police forces and to people who just need to remember something. It seemed like a rather more arcane organization than was warranted for helping someone find their keys.

Anna is the current client, the daughter of a wealthy SOB, who needs them to determine if his daughter is... normal. She suffered some trauma, but has always been different. They need to understand how different -- is she a sociopath or did something happen to her in the deep past to make her this way. Immediately, we realize Anna is not as she presents; she is manipulative, deceiving and seductive. She draws John (Strong) into her fabricated / altered memories, manipulating him towards her own ends. By the time he realizes as much, it is too late.

This was an OK movie, a friday night renter that will never be thought about again. If I was younger, less exposed, I would have enjoyed the different take Dorado takes on the movie, as a Spanish director doing an english movie. Alas, that doesn't satisfy me anymore, nor does the dabbling in genre plots nor twists at the end. This was a capable movie, but not very impressive. The repeated themes and visual cues are not mysterious, just familiar. I would have been more interested in John had been manipulating her all along, as he was supposed to be the best at what he does, but honestly, if you want to see a movie about diving into people's minds, stick to Inception.

3+1 Short Paragraphs: San Andreas

2015, Brad Peyton (Republic of Doyle) -- cinema

Friday night, all by myself, I am alone in the theatre. Then a couple of teenage girls come and keep a good distance from the creepy old man seeing a movie by himself. I like seeing movies by myself, especially the ones I know are not going to be very good. I love disaster movies, especially with all the money of Hollywood behind them. But really, I do wish they would have provided a bit more of that money to flesh out the characters. The heart of any disaster movie is caring what is going to happen to the people onscreen.

No, you should expect a ton of characterization when seeing a movie about an epic earthquake(s), but, while I am not dissing The Rock, it is kind of ironic that the most amount of acting comes from Dwayne Johnson, known mostly for gleefully flexing his muscles, and Alexandra Daddario, known mostly for her beautiful, bright blue eyes and, well let's be honest here, her boobs.  Seriously, Google Image Search her and the top 3 will contain a certain scene from True Detective. And these two play the extreme range of any character in the entire movie.

San Andreas is about the fault, that mostly unseen crack between the Pacific tectonic plate and the North American one. It shifts, it moves and all of California shakes. The movie is about the Big One, the shifting of the crack from LA up to San Francisco, causing the biggest earthquakes in history. Paul Giamatti, the scientist, is desperate to convince people it's going to happen. And it does. That's his role, talk science stuff and look concerned. Meanwhile, rescue ranger Johnson abandons his post to pluck his wife off a tower, to fly to San Fran to find his daughter. He has already lost one daughter, years earlier, and he will not lose another! Watch Dwayne emote this grief, by staring into space not a trace of it crossing his face! The pain! Daddario is said plucky daughter, having been abandoned by mother's jerk BF Ioan Gruffudd (don't worry, he gets splatted soon enough), leads a pair of british guys to higher ground, awaiting her father's rescue. She is practical, tough and who could say no to those blue eyes. Definitely not fate, because, as expected Dwayne and his wife just randomly run into her, even in the shambles that San Francisco has become. Insert terrible Michael Bay style rah rah, unfurling flags, we will rebuild ending.

You cannot help but mock these movies. When you think about them, they fail on so many aspects. Logic, character, plot always fail. But what draws you in is the ... death & destruction. Yeesh, bleak enough? What should draw you in is the survival against tough odds. The effects do look damn good, and it is a bonus point, that most is background material as we focus on getting our main characters from point A to point B. I enjoyed the movie a lot, but I doubt it will end up on my shelf next to 2012 and Deep Impact.

Mad Max: Fury Road

2015, George Miller (Mad Max, Babe: Pig in the City, Happy Feet) -- cinema

OK, so now I understand why the MRA (men's right activists) / Red Pill subsets of trolls was so upset about this movie. Max (Tom Hardy) is the supporting character. Imperator Furiosa (Charlize Theron) is the main character. In fact, in my head-canon, as Max never reveals his name until the very end of the movie, I envisioned all the marketing of this movie didn't reveal it was a Mad Max movie at all. We were all just thrilled to see a new post-apocalyptic movie starring Charlize. And as we watched trailer after trailer, we roared on the Internet as to how it was ripping off Mad Max: The Road Warrior. Then we get the reveal and all grin to ourselves.

Alas, in the real world, they have to bank on past success.

But it was not just Furiosa. Possibly the "coolest" (most effective, stylish and memorable) characters in the movie are a bunch of gun toting, motorcycle riding, old ladies, the Many Mothers. Leathery skinned, leather wearing and crack shots, these ladies set a counterpoint to the slaves that the first act of the movie is trying to "save". The rest of the characters are all foolhardy men running into bullets and front bumpers as they try and do what their groins (or their boss's groins) are telling them to do. They are driven (pun intended), the women are motivated.

But even if you put that win aside, this is still an incredible movie. 

The movie starts with Max standing beside his car monologuing. He is cracked, broken and running from the bad guys, as per usual. They easily take him down, shred his car and wrap him in chains and tattoos. Universal donor? This mountain fortress, an absolute marvel of visual presentation, runs on water and blood. Seriously, this whole world we are dropped into is excruciatingly beautiful looking, if po-ap props are beautiful to you. This is fantastical, gears and chains and steering wheels and fancy doodads decorating gear shifters. Costuming harkens back to the greatest era of po-ap, the late 80s, with white painted Warboys (I dare you to not sing Wild Boys by Duran Duran in your head), mud caked peasants (who apparently wear their homes on their backs) and leather bound muscle heads everywhere. Max is tossed into this world with one idea - escape. He just reacts, runs and reacts some more.

Max spends a good deal of the movie not-escaped, in restraints, unavoidably dragged into the plot of the movie. Imperator Furiosa, the general of Immortan Joe's army, has escaped with his wives. In a world of starving, mutating, inbred cretins, Joe's wives are supermodels, clad in white gauze and teeth laden chastity belts. Furiosa has taken them, finally breaking her own personal chains and is leading the girls to the Green Place. And that is it, one big chase scene.  Furiosa coops Max into her quest by convincing him that it matters.

Now, you have seen the trailers, so the first thing I asked Kent (who saw it before I did), was whether the movie was as super saturated as the trailers. It could have been a marketing ploy. But no, even dulled down by non-3D, it was bright ochre, scorching white and brown tones everywhere. It was just gorgeous, wide pans of horizons devoid of anything but thundering vehicles. And all those practical effects! Big, nasty cars modded like Ed Roth hot rod pictures! A massive vehicle stacked high with speakers and a leatherboy strapped into a harness playing guitar! White painted warboys spraying their mouths with chrome paint, before jumping to their "heroic" deaths and everlasting glory in Valhalla! Take these actual, physical examples of the world and tie them to a fantastically depicted world, and it was just breath taking.

Good movie.  #HappySigh

Shameful that so many of the movie's posters don't bring Theron to the forefront.

3 Short Paragraphs: Wild

2014,  Jean-Marc Vallée (Dallas Buyers Club) -- download

I have had a recurring fantasy over the last few years, which has been dashed by my bad feet. I was going to pack a small bag, shove it full of some clothes and tons of compact food, and walk home. Home, Cape Breton, home. Walk from Toronto to Sydney, Nova Scotia. It would take planning, and some money and time. Its about walking away from all the stresses of adulting, and just narrowly focusing on something for a certain amount of time. I didn't consider how I would get back. Also, a sense of accomplishment when so much of my life has been about avoiding that.

In Wild Cheryl Strayed has pretty much messed up her life. Drugs & infidelity are the primary things. She cannot cope. She hasn't been able to cope since her mother died. So, she plans to walk the Pacific Crest Trail, a few months walk along trails from the border of Mexico to the border of Canada. She needs to walk away from the life she has given herself, into... well, she has no clue. She just needs to walk.

The movie is as much in her head, as it is on the trail. Oh, we get the usual trials of a new hiker -- badly fitting boots, wrong fuel for a camp stove, the nervousness of being alone, out there. But most of the time, Cheryl is flashing back. You know those times when your memories come rushing back, stopping you in your tracks, leaving back in those moments? That. She remembers her mom, abused and always acting positive. She escapes the abuser, and goes back to school. But it's hard, so very hard to raise two kids, go to school and work. Yet she keeps alive, happy... because, she has to. If she doesn't stay happy, what else does she have but her misery? When she dies of cancer, Cheryl is not only left alone with her brother but alone with herself. And she spirals downward, to the bottom. This walk is to pull herself out of that, to be somewhere, someone else when she finishes. It is good she is honest and not sure what or who that will be. But changing sometimes takes small steps, or thousands of them.

3 Short Paragraphs: Stretch

2014, Joe Carnahan (The Grey) -- download

Stretch is a movie about failed lives. Dashed dreams. And hope. That niggling, annoying voice in the back of your head, hope. Our main character, Stretch, starts the movie fairytale like, crashing headlong into the woman he falls in love with, dumping his addictions to drugs & gambling, only to be dumped by her one year later. He had done it, abandoned his failings, was working to be a better man. But life even likes to kick you when you are going up. So now Stretch drives a stretch limo, badly and without the respect of his boss, like all Hollywood limo drivers. His idol, the perfect limo driver who always knew what the customer wanted, put a bullet in his head not so long ago, so now Stretch gets to drive around with the hallucination come ghost of his fallen idol. Also, Stretch is already a failed actor. He's a stereotype who's aware he is a stereotype.

Stretch still wants to do better, despite the teeth kicking. He owes a bit more money, and has to get it soon, because the last little bit of his debt is now owned by a strong arm who will probably hurt him. Y'know, new owners need to make their name. So he takes on the white whale -- a crazy eXtreme business mogul named Karos -- bearded, crazy and unexpectedly actual height Chris Pine. And there are cops and crooks and car chases and gang banger wannabes, and the crazy limo competition, wrestlers-driving-rolls royces.

The movie harkens back to that spate of indie movies that emerged back in the late 90s and 2000s, in response to, well, better done indie movies. They may have not been as good as their predecessors, but they had heart. I often compare movies to said period, because it was that point in my movie watching eras where I started noticing differences in tones and expectation. Movies didn't have to be grand scale blockbusters to be good. This one is not as good as something like Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, which is the perfect indie, LA based, violence & comedy romp, but it is a damn fine example.

3 Short Paragraphs: Song of the Sea

2014, Tomm Moore (The Secret of Kells) -- download

Despite the popularity of Frozen I think the heyday of animated features has come and gone. Moreso, when you consider non-3D animations. The Pixar and Disney films will continue to come out, but traditionally animated films will forever be relegated to niches. I think it was about a decade ago with The Triplets of Belleville and Howl's Moving Castle and Persepolis that traditional animation almost felt like it was returning, at least for a more mature audience. The problem is that animation will always be seen as a kid's thing. Cartoons are not for adults. Still, I hope work continues on for passionate works like this one.

Song of the Sea is definitely for kids and adults. It is about a child born of a mythical relationship with a selkie and how her half-brother has to overcome his rivalry to rescue her, and in turn, save the mythical world from extinction. Ben and his sister Saoirse live on an island with a lighthouse on the west coast of Ireland. When Saoirse was born, their mother had to run, and Ben has resented his sister since. When forced to the mainland, to live with their grandmother, Ben discovers a pair of fae living in a fairy mound in the centre of town. And with them, he finds a destiny beholden to his sister. He must be her heroic protector against the evil witch Macha.

The movie is astoundingly beautiful. It is simply animated, no, not simple -- less complicated. The visuals are grand geometric shapes punctuated by lush watercolor backgrounds. Think of the best painterly children's books you may have read and wave them up to the screen. The story telling is, well, storyteller-y; the rhythms and beats are in the tradition of heroic myths & legends. The music, celtic and haunting, is introduced with Yeats, "Come away, O human child! To the waters and the wild with a faery, hand in hand, for the world's more full of weeping than you can understand." This is the mood, warm and inviting.

One Episode: Mr. Robot, Stitchers & Supergirl

One Episode is the segment where we edit the opening italicized paragraph, and talk about shows we have watched one episode of (and sometimes more, and sometimes less). We would rather watch less volume and more quality, but that involves wading through the meh to get to the good stuff. 

Mr Robot -- USA
Stitchers -- ABC Family
Supergirl -- CBS

Not that I need anything more in my queue to watch (or maybe I do; everything is currently ending), but I always like premieres. This round we have a show about hackers, a show about superheroic brain hacking and a show about a superhero in a short skirt.

Mr Robot was fantastic. If you watch a cyber show like CSI:Cyber or Scorpion your head might explode from the inaccurate and fictionalized accounts of computing. Well, if you know anything about computing. If you don't, then you might just be terrified as to what hackers can do. Or thrilled Which, I suppose, is the point. Anywayz! Mr Robot depicts a much more grounded, but probably not much more realistic, view of computers and hacking. It just feels right. They mention Linux flavours.

Elliot is kind of messed up. He is young, depressed and suffers from social issues. Actually, he is not that messed up, for he interacts with his friends quite well, his coworkers (as long as they don't touch him) but he just doesn't do well in large crowds. If that was the definition of messed up, me and many people I know would be very messed up. Shut up, you. Anywayz, by the show's standards he really is. He is also rather misanthropic, being able to see the weakness in everyone. And he's a great hacker, so he often manipulates that weakness. Sometimes to his own advantage, but often he takes on a white knight approach and protects others he cares for.

The show felt British. The color tones, the angles and the way they filled space felt like like a BBC or Channel 4 show. I have said that before, but different production styles are apparent around the world. Hell, even the production styles between US network television and cable is apparent. Anywayz, felt British.

Elliot is being dragged into a conspiracy, sort of Fight Club-style, to bring down the debt-owning financial institutes. Mr Robot is weirdo, pseudo-homeless Christian Slater, who may or may not be just a hallucination of Elliot's. And if not hallucinating, the definitely Elliot is being manipulated by other socially dangerous hackers. And men in black ARE following him.

Very good first episode. Rami Malek as Elliot is brilliant, with his slightly off eyes and dark, low voice putting across the socially aware, and socially angry introvert quite well.

And then we have Stitchers on ABC Family. Before you go, "Well, there you are, its on Family!" remember that the utter fantabulous The Middleman came from ABC Family. This is far below fantabulous. It wants to be like Scorpion in introducing a rather far-end-of-spectrum smart but weird person. This time, she has Temporal Dysplasia, or, well, she has no concept of the passing of time. What does that mean? The show doesn't really know, but it's a buzzword that they can have her spout from time to time to explain why she can do miraculous things and is so very very odd.

With her magic power, she is stolen by a secret secret agency to hack into other people's memories, to stitch (*ahem*) together a story and prevent something .... further from happening? I don't know, the first episode is about finding two more bombs by looking at the last few hours of memories of the bomber who killed himself. I am not sure how this top secret hacking trick will apply in future episodes, nor will I find out.

The show is filled to the brim with dialogue, rather well written dialogue, if you ignore the fact it often contributes little to the scene or story. I never heard of a teleplay needing an editor, but, well here you go.

Very terrible first episode.

And you may or may not have already seen Supergirl. These days, when you hear about a leak, you are probably hearing more about a purposely leaked show. Supergirl was likely leaked to generate some early buzz and anticipation for the series that will begin on CBS much later on this fall. It probably also allows them to tweak/edit the show to some degree based on upon reaction.

I kind of liked it, which is odd, considering I haven't bought into any of the DC shows. Arrow, The Flash and Gotham are only of so much interest to me. The last one at least gets downloads from me; but mainly for Jim Gordon, who I really enjoy for his GI Joe aspect of the character, and the weird out-of-time feel to the show.

Supergirl starts off with a weird sort of cameo to both the previous Supergirl and Lois & Clark, with cameos from Dean Cain and Helen Slater, as her adoptive parents. It is this smile & nod that sets the lighter tone to the series. And that is slammed into us by having Kara Zor-El nee Kara Danvers playing Anne Hathaway's character from The Devil Wears Prada. Is that enough of an stylistic character choice to be a trope yet? Basically, Kara works for a media mogul who is utterly full of herself and desperate to have the same ratings as The Daily Planet, but without the easy catch of a Superman.  Kara gets her coffee and is verbally abused.

But nervous, perky desperate to approve Kara also knows who her cousin is, and what he has been doing. And she wants some of that. Teenage, anxiety ridden but really really wants to be beside her cousin instead of in his shadow. The boot in the right direction comes in the crashing of her adopted sister's plane, and Kara's up up and away rescue of the plane. Boing, enter one more flying superhero, one that Kara's boss can take credit for the image of.

Its light. I said that already, but its nice and light. Oh, there will be badguys of the week, with criminals from the Phantom Zone, when she bumped through their micro-dimension in her spaceship, showing up from time to time. As for it entering into the same universe as the other two, I doubt it, for this one was very focused on mentioning her cousin, and the other two seem unaware of a flying superhero on the east coast.

We shall have to wait to see if I will continue to watch it.

Ex-Machina

2015, Alex Garland (writer Sunshine, Dredd, 28 Days Later) -- cinema

This is Alex Garland's directorial debut. His writing, both novel and screenplay are always creative and like to stretch an idea. Ex-Machina touches on every trope previously explored about AIs, intelligent robots and their creators. But Garland puts an intensely thoughtful color to his rendition.

First up, Ex-Machina is about Nathan, a man who wants beautiful things. He is mega-ultra-rich, the founder of a Google Microsoft Apple analog that make a search engine (and mobile phone, PC, technology, etc.) called Bluebook. He owns a house way past the middle of nowhere, a beautifully constructed monstrosity that is self-reliant, internally powered and completely off the grid. Well, there is no grid. Not only does it blend well into the temperate environment, it IS part of the environment for there are no roads, no way to get to the house but by helicopter that lands hundreds of yards away in a flower filled field. All the surrounding land, mountains, glaciers and primeval forest are his. He also makes beautiful dolls.

Don't get me wrong. The architecture here is incredible, that combination of modern concrete construction and green living. Every window looks out onto untouched, overgrown fully natural forest. There is not even a proper walkway to  the front door. It really is away from it all. And yet, still has all the amenities a richy rich guy needs.

Caleb wins a contest. He gets to meet Nathan. But Caleb doesn't know that Nathan has ulterior motives, to use the smarts that assisted Caleb in winning the contest, to test out Nathan's new AI. They are employer, employee, so its OK if Nathan lords a bit over Caleb. But we still get the impression that Nathan is a bit of an asshole. But we might forgive, for we also get the feeling he is one of the so unbelievably intelligent people that he is above us to a degree. You only forgive that, if you value that. Caleb does. Nathan relies on it.

Nathan's new AI is housed inside a beautiful doll. Ava, a rather delicate, mostly transparent but sensuously moving robot played by delicate flower Alicia Vikander, is an innocent creature that is nervous around Caleb, curious but cautious. After all, Caleb is the first person she has ever seen outside of her creator.

Nathan wants Caleb to perform the Turing Test, but already he is derailed, for you are not supposed to know whether you are dealing with an AI or a human intelligence, when you run the test. Caleb is being challenged whether he will continue to distinguish Ava from a human life, after he gets to know her. After she gets to know him. Caleb wants to analyse her, as this is his strong suit, but Nathan want him to just interact with her.

So, the tropes. AI housed in sensual female attributed bodies. Smart but abrasive creator. A naive but trustworthy soul meant to interact with the AI. And it continues. Sex slaves, for whatever reason does a man create such a beautiful female body for his AI, other than to have a sex doll? Ownership; how dare his creations not love him!! Deception; the innocent AI is always more than she seems.  Desire to be human; Ava so desperately wants Caleb to like her, as she instantly crushes on him. She tries on clothes, hair and in the end, skin. Man become gods, but Nathan probably already thought that of himself.

But Garland explores these all quietly and patiently with little judgement. Oh, we are meant to eventually judge Nathan, or admire him. That is up to you. The dialogue is about interaction, and I won't trip quickly into saying 'human interaction' because not all of it is, but it sure plays on what it means to be a human. Oh yeah, that trope. Was I the doll all along? And the final trope; never trust an AI. Never. They are smarter than us. You forget this; you pay.

Well, at least they didn't take over the Internet.

Damn fine movie.

xBox One: Middle-Earth: Shadow of Mordor

Nemesis system, nemesis system, nemesis system. In all the reviews that spoke favourably of this game, they all mentioned how innovative and fun the nemesis system was. It was. It was fun. But it really only played a key part early on in the game, for later on you become powerful enough to not need it. It still stays fun. Slowly picking off orcs and uruks, leaving weaker ones behind makes boss battles much easier. But despite being a new concept, I believe innovation relies on it really playing an integral part of the whole game.

Shadow of Mordor takes place in the scary period between Peter Jackson's The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings. Talion is a ranger stationed at the Black Gate, on the edge of Mordor, just before the world becomes aware that Sauron is rising once again, and has filled his land with orcs. The Gate is attacked by lieutenants of Sauron and Talion is killed, along with his family. No, the game doesn't end there, it just begins. The spirit of an elf Lord inhabits Talion's body turning him into an unkillable soldier of revenge.

Cool, an explanation for respawning after you are killed. Not like a dead man can die again. Now if the orcs can only learn to dispose of his body properly, they won't have any more issues with him.

You start off weakened, as you do in all games, stalking about in the rain and shadows (of Mordor), killing orcs stealthily and running from larger crowds. Soon you get a magic bow, with magical replenishing arrows, and runes to plug into your sword and your dagger.... which is actually a broken sword. Your goal is to fight up through the ranks until you draw out the lieutenants who were responsible for your death and that of your family.

Along the way, you encounter unique orcs, captains, warchiefs and finally, the Black Captains. But not just up the orc chain, as there are also beasties such as Trolls and Caragors, cat like versions of the worgs we saw in the movies. The unique orcs get names and a look and a funny saying. Initially this is a lot of fun, as it gives character to your enemies. But the more you play, the more the "a little from column A, a little from column B" aspect gets repetitive. Also, these orcs often return from the dead. Even if you behead them, they somehow end up coming back, a little older, a little wiser and likely scarred by your being so rude to kill them. The guy you burned might have horrible scars, the guy you split in two might be sewn together. Its kind of weird, but fun.

The gameplay is a combination of stealth stalking and Arkham Asylum style button mashing combo combat.  At first this is fricking annoying, and you have to run away or die - a lot. But as you get more useful combos, and get used to the style, it becomes fluid and cinematic. Nothing like being in a mix of about 15 orcs, rolling about, knocking down and beheading orcs, left right and centre. Jump over that guy. knock that guy to the ground, light up this one and put an arrow through the eye of that guy. Much heroic fantasy sword play!

Now, back to the nemesis system. Each of the unique orcs connects to another in the ranks. If you want to take down a top level bad guy, a Warchief, then you better have already taken down some of his allies. Or that mix of 15 orcs is going to contain every higher level orc who reports to him. As the game progresses you can pretty much clean out every orc that matters in an area.... until the next time you are killed. Then, survivors are promoted and the ranks fill up again. That guy you scarred? He's now a captain and realllly pissed at you.

Another trick in the system is "branding" your enemies. Basically, using your blue colored magic you can bring orcs under your influence. They become enthralled to you. And in turn, everyone reporting to them is yours. Soon, a skilled brander can have an entire region under their control. Lead your own blue light gang against the Warchief and its an all out brawl. And when they all die?  Start over again! There are always plenty of orcs to sway to your cause.

But eventually the gameplay becomes repetitive. Stalk orcs, brand orcs, kill orcs, take out captains and take down warchiefs in their fortresses. The story moves you along, stalking the ranks to be led to the Black Captains who were responsible for your death. The elf lord possessing you, and keeping you alive and killing, turns out to be Celebrimbor, that guy from The Silmarillion who forged the Nine Rings. He was used by Sauron and betrayed, and wants revenge. You are his instrument but you have to get through the Black Captains first.

If the game has one major flaw, that is it. The Black Captains. The first is decent, a tough boss battle requiring time and skill. The next is a stealth hunt that takes only time. And the final guy, before Sauron? A few quicktime events (directed videos hitting a single button) and he goes down. And that drives Sauron away. Bleah. Let down.  You only ever get to use your army of tagged Warchiefs once and then they are wasted.

But in general, it was a hell of a lot of fun. And Talion is a great looking character, the kind of Mary Sue ranger for D&D players. He smack a bit of a super model Aragorn but his character model looks and moves well. DLC holds no interest for me, but an entirely new sequel might.

Avengers: Age of Ultron

2015, Joss Whedon (Glee) -- cinema

First up, a complaint.

Fuck you very much for those movies that are meant to be seen in 3D. Age of Ultron was the muddiest, darkest, ugliest movie, that I am supposed to see in 3D, I have seen in a theatre in ages. I almost felt like I was seeing an uploaded cam (pirate movie made with a personal digital video camera) and expected to see someone get up and walk away, on the screen. Which, I admit, would have been very meta.

Now, I also admit, it could have been the particular cinema. I have only recently returned to this cinema after boycotting them for years. After about a half dozen experiences where movies were off-colour, badly spliced after breaks and just plain crappy looking, I stopped going to movies at Silver City Yonge & Eg. But of late, as we have fewer options in seeing movies in non-3D (I cannot see the 3D and it gives me a headache to attempt) we have returned there. For the most part, they have gotten better. But it could have still been their quality control.

But Graig and I have complained before how the 3D industry is muddying movies, because they are meant to be projected and seen via the 3D technology. We don't get two copies, we get a lesser copy for non-3D.

Now, beyond the visual imparity, I rather enjoyed the movie. I have heard too many people state, "Well its not the first one!" and of course it isn't; and it's unfair to compare. First movies are always more bombastic, brighter (no, not the above complaint) and of a wider focus. Sequels are often more directed towards a single point -- this one was about The Avengers and their place in the world. Stark creates Ultron to help deal with his PTSD related emotions concerning the next possible attack on Earth. The twins are bitter towards The Avengers due to their connections to Tony, and his previously war mongering company. The Hydra goons are scrambling to recover post Winter Soldier and Agents of SHIELD.  Banner is having issues with purposely making use of the green guy, and the inevitable deaths he is responsible for. The movie is about consequences, no more apparent than the going-rogue of Ultron.

Tony creates Ultron as an AI shield around the planet. If Tony's kind of creepy Iron Legion bots are controlled independently by a self-aware and efficient AI, then Tony and his Avengers buddies can focus of the more singular threats. Legion bots take care of civilians and mooks, while Avengers focus on the super villain. Unfortunately, the introduction of independent AIs, always comes with a trope --- how do you protect the planet when its greatest threat is its inhabitants?  Well, extinction, of course!

But Ultron is inevitably the source of his own downfall. He believes he is an invulnerable super intelligence, without the frailties of humanity. Unfortunately, he is a megalomaniacal super villain, which comes with its own issues. He is arrogant, overly self confident and he believes he has no emotions. Those are his downfall. That, and teamwork !!

Teamwork is another of the tropes the movie relies on. I like the way Whedon handles the whole loss of Coulson, who could have been brought back, but Whedon is playing like he no longer exists. In steps Green Arr... I mean, Hawkeye, who is not in love with Natasha, who now has a crush on Banner, but has his own long standing family.  Fury lets him hole up in a country home, play farmer and doting on his kids, which in turn lends itself to him playing father figure to the rest of the Avengers. They have been mentally messed with by Wanda Maximoff, one of the twins, who likes to play with minds. After Loki, Clint won't have none of that. And the Avengers need some fatherly advice -- to bring themselves together as a family that works closely together.

This teamwork is what is most highlighted during the end battle. This may be a battle, but they all see it as a rescue mission, as they evacuate the inhabitants of the besieged city. So many people have compared the act to Man of Steel where Superman just focuses on punching the hell out of the bad guys, letting (possibly thousands of) people die. The Avengers do not leave the field until they believe every last man, woman and child is off the rock. Its heroic, to say the least.

The team felt outmatched, after they first encounter with Ultron, at his fittest. Really, despite having The Hulk and a Norse God, they are taken down by Scarlett Witch and her brother pretty easily. They obviously have not gone up against many enhanced. Imagine how small they would feel if they learned Coulson and his team have pretty much taken down half a dozen. But together, as well as the integrated Maximoff twins, they succeed as a team.  Oh, and with the help of Vision [p.s. I like the explanation of why he wears a cape]

As the Avengers turn back the metal tide, he loses control of his non-metal minions -- I really felt the flip of loyalties from the Maximoff twins. Really, they have been played by Hydra since they were kids. In fact, Hydra made them. They believe Stark to be responsible for their family's death. But one peek inside Tony's mind has Wanda doubting that. Oh, she doesn't given up years of hatred easily, but she does see that he wants to protect, not destroy. And once exposed to Steve's boy scout personality, they fall in line pretty quickly. Yes, it takes the nail in the coffin of their city being threatened, at the hands of their ally, but I think she has been considering her place since that first mind play. The speech Clint gives her about being an Avenger is pivotable. They do what they have to do, because they have to, because it is right --- not because it always makes sense. He has no judgement of her, just a plain statement of what she needs to do.

Where does the end of the movie leave them? A little shaken, a little worried about the future. But also very aware of what they are capable of. There is less of a cheer of heroism, as with the invasion of New York, but more of a exultation they have overcome their latest foe. Of course, we are left wondering what is going to be the result of Thor's vision and Mr Bumpy Chin and has Infinity Stones.  What is coming their way?

Rewatch: Star Trek

2009, JJ Abrams (Felicity) -- Blu-ray

I had a rough couple of weeks (I am especially bad at adulting these days) and, as usual, that lead me to a spate of rewatching; this round was space movies.

Its not surprising this movie was made the way it was. The original cast were played out, some having passed on and most were waaay past any prime. The TNG series of movies were also out of steam, as the characters had passed even out of syndication. Enterprise did not gain enough traction to warrant a movie. It was time for something new.

Or something rebooted.

And yet, it's not quite a reboot, as it ties into the original series, via Old Spock. It also ties into Enterprise because Captain Archer has messed with his timeline so much, he has altered its future. That is my personal take on how much more techno the new movie feels, in comparison to the original series or even TNG series. The look & feel of Enterprise is so radical compared to TOS that there is no way it could not aesthetically affect the future.

We start with the perfect Star Trek opening. A lone ship, the Kelvin, is investigating a space anomaly. A massive, and I mean MASSIVE, ship emerges from the anomaly and immediately attacks the Kelvin blowing past whatever defense she had. They have to abandon ship and the first officer, one George Kirk (played by a very very non-Thor Chris Hemsworth), sacrifices himself to allow the crew to escape, including his giving-birth wife.

I love this sequence because it highlights the Federation ideals, sets the tragic tone for the movie (I still get pangs when I see the ship ripped open, and people sucked screaming into space) and sets up the fast paced action. It just looks good. I also has some weird looking aliens, more weird than were ever shown in the shows.

George's baby ("Tiberius? You kidding me? No, that's the worst") James is raised without  daddy and a legacy to fulfill. Its obviously a heavy burden for Jim is a brat, a brat that steals a vintage car (as in non-floaty, non hydrogen powered) and outruns the cops (android cop??) before driving the thing into a ravine. Jimmy grows up to be rowdy farmboy Kirk.

By now, JJ Abrams has derailed whatever conventions we have for Star Trek movies. Sure, this is an origin story, but he opens things up with tragedy, bar fights and a salaciousness that would probably have Shatner giving the thumbs up. We get it; Jim Kirk is a genius but considers himself too good for Star Fleet. He uses most of the opening of the movie as a set piece to introduce almost all the familiar characters: Uhura, Bones ("took the whole damn planet in the divorce") and, of course, Spock. We get Chekov and Sulu once we are on board.

JJ Abrams is teased for his love of lense flares (watch Fringe and you will see them used to effect) and they are never seen more than they are on the bridge of the Enterprise. All that white plastic and clear screens lends itself to playing with light. That bridge is just plain gorgeous. And think of all the different bridge configurations he had to draw upon!  I would hate to be the crew assigned to keeping all that white sparkling.

A major part of the plot is that the Enterprise shows up late to the battle with the Romulan ship Narada, because Sulu leaves the parking brake on. When they do arrive, all the other ships sent are a mass of floating rubble. How many fricking Star Fleet Academy cadets and junior officers were killed in that blunder?!? That there are any left to honor Kirk at the end of the movie is astounding, but I imagine they were able to to pack the audience with ground personnel.  Either way, losing all those ships must have further impacted the way the Federation acted in this alternate timeline, perhaps contributing to the more militarized Star Fleet in the next movie.

Despite being a reboot and an alternate timeline, Abrams has a lot of fun with references. We get Kirk romping with the Orion Gaila (Rachel Nichols from Continuum), so I  guess their "slave girl" status is moot? Kirk hacks the Kobayashi Maru. Of course, Captain Pike and the first visible loss to Pike's crew is a guy in a red space suit. I also love the reference to Archer's dog, which soundly connects the show Enterprise to this continuity.

I soundly love this version, likely more so than the movie series of the original cast. And hopefully it will not suffer the same morose fate as all Star Trek movies do, getting relatively worse as time goes by. And no whale movies please.

3 Short Paragraphs: The Scribbler

2014, John Suits -- Netflix

Watching movies in the Internet age has changed everything [for me]. I have gone from being that guy who didn't download movies because I would see all the good ones in cinema and rent the OK ones. I am still that guy who will not watch cams [movies filmed by idiots with video cameras in the movie cinema]. But I can now go from catching an article about a small budget, tiny release spec-fic film on a blog, to downloading it soon after or watching on Netflix. Some are good, some are terrible but most are just OK. The Scribbler fits into the latter with a bit of tipping into the bad.

I have not read the graphic novel that the movie is adapted from, so maybe I would have more appreciation for the source material. Maybe not. Suki has multiple personalities, and she has been moved into a halfway house apartment building (???) by her doctor. Said apartment building has a reputation for killing its inhabitants, splattering them on the sidewalks below. And yet the Department of Health has no issues. Suki also has to deal with a particular virulent personality [of her many] dubbed The Scribbler. And there is sex with Garret Dillahunt, always up for playing a great loon, and a conspiracy going on.

This is what happens when I leave a post about a movie linger too long. I end up remembering only key elements of my like, dislike but most often my ennui with a film. I end up reading other people's reviews to remind myself. I bristle at the idea of writing ideas down, as I watch a movie, as that will be too much like a proper review. What I do remember about The Scribbler is that the movie suffers too much from being influenced by other movies. There are hints of Japanese horror movies in there, some notes from Sucker Punch and too many 90s rock videos to count. There are hints of super powers. But, frankly, it never comes together to be actually compelling. Katie Cassidy [buhhh? that's Laurel Lance from Arrow??] does a decent job as Suki but the script and story just carry on through the ideas without sucking us in. There are flashes of neat ideas, the aforementioned influences, but that is about it.

Rewatch: The Incredible Hulk

2008, Louis Leterrier (Clash of the Titans) -- Netflix

We should have watched this one right after watching Iron Man. The connections to the cinematic universe are there, but it is a weird movie to watch, as it is not a sequel to the Ang Lee movie, but it is also not an origin movie. All the origin bits are glossed over in a quick opening sequence during the opening credits. Its similar, with research into gamma radiation going wrong and our guy green tearing up his lab, injuring his lady love and others before he escapes. There is a reference that he kills two Canadian hunters after his escape, which always makes me think they were hinting at some possibility of reclaiming the X-Men for themselves, i.e. Wolverine was sent to take down The Hulk, in his first comic book appearance, when Banner blundered across the Canadian border. A boy can dream, no?

I love this movie. I really do. I am not sure why, because I am torn as to whether I like Edward Norton as Banner. He just does not seem scientisty enough for me. But it clicks for me. The tone is rather controlled, as if they were trying to exhibit the controlled breathing that Banner uses to keep the Hulk in check.

The whole opening sequence with him in Brazil working in a factory in the favelas; I love it. The favelas have always fascinated me in their appearance of being a shanty town, built from scrap, with no direction or skill, but always being amazed they have electricity and lights and streets and ... well, they are definitely not shanty towns. They are not Soweto, despite similar visuals. Banner finds a place for himself there, learning Portuguese, working in a pop bottling factory and flirting with the downstairs neighbour. Then he cuts himself and a drop of blood makes its way into a bottle, to be downed by Stan Lee. I am so over the Stan Lee cameos. But it would have been interesting to see Lee hulk out, and it also makes me wonder if said effect could have been properly bottled.

The drop of blood leads General Ross to Brazil where a team led by Tim Roth, a pasty, sweaty guy, has our first run in with this Hulk. There is lots of grabbing and slamming and throwing of stuff, but there is a decided PG rated feel to the fight. It feels wrong to me, like Wolverine and the bloodless slicing & dicing. I imagine Hulk would do more squashing than swatting. That said, the ill informed team does not capture the Hulk and Roth becomes obsessed with the big guy's power.

The focus of the movie is Banner trying to cure his "gamma poisoning" where he has been dealing with another scientist via encoded communications, Mr. Green chatting to Mr. Blue. It is this research and desperation that leads Banner back to his lab in Virginia, where Betty Ross, the General's daughter and Banner's lady love, still lives.

General Ross is tracking him, using some resources provided by SHIELD. He seems in with SHIELD, but we don't have any major influences or interventions, like we later see in Thor. This is an army action but SHIELD just has their fingers in it. You would have thunk Coulson would have been hanging around more, considering how utterly powerful Banner is. Alas, this is only movie number 2, so things are more hidden.

The General and his team track Banner to the lab run by Mr. Blue, a feverishly interested scientist played by Tim Blake Nelson, who while stating he wants to help Banner cure himself, is really just looking to develop some sort of super serum from his blood. Again, Banner is just being exploited. Interestingly enough, Nelson is playing Samuel Sterns, who is The Leader in Marvel mythology, and we even get a brief scene of his head getting all hulked out. I think its safe to say The Leader never emerges into the cinematic universe. Agents of SHIELD needs to reference him.

The movie climaxes with a battle between Tim Roth, now all gray hulked out as The Abomination, and The Hulk on Yonge St.... *ahem* in the Bronx. It was here I realized The Hulk is not as mindless as we think, he is rather in control, he just has more impulse control and is, of course, very very angry. But he is not dumb, despite his lack of monologues. He understands very clearly that Abomination is a threat to everyone and dives into the fray with no regard to his puny Banner body. The fall from the helicopter, as Banner realizes the purple formula is still kind of repressing the green guy, is a chuckle, but really he would have just went *splat* on the sidewalk, instead of plowing through it, to emerge as The Hulk.

The movie ends with General Ross tempered, The Hulk jumping away and ... well, we have no idea. When he next appears in The Avengers, there is no connection to this movie. It is really the only completely stand alone movie in the cinematic universe, that barely attempts to maintain the connections.

Considering the contentious relationship that Edward Norton had with the movie, its no hard to read all that in the movie that plays out on the screen. The opening sequence wants character development, which is dumped entirely for the latter half of the movie. I imagine Marvel just wanted to abandon this one, but needed it to fill out their idea of the Avengers roster.

And thus, Mark Ruffalo.

Rewatch: Iron Man 1 & 2

2008/2010 Jon Favreau (Chef) -- download

And then, some posts are going to be all about the movie. And my idle observations.

Yes, in preparation for seeing Age of Ultron after the fervour dies down, we are rewatching the Marvel (cinematic universe) movies.  I want to watch them in release order, but we watched these two together. The Incredible Hulk is on Netflix, so that will be next.

I stand by my immense enjoyment of the origin bit for Iron Man. I know very little of how Iron Man actually came to be, and I believe that was part of the decision to release his movie first, so we could enjoy a stand alone movie without the fetters of comic book continuity -- he was never an A-Lister comic book character. The whole microcosm of this cocky but incredibly smart character building the iron suit in the cave still works for me. It sets the tone for the difference of the Marvel movies, in that they can tell a dramatic action story, but still be light enough to chuckle at. Remember, at this time, we were still considering Batman Begins as the height of superhero movies at the time, and were all eagerly awaiting The Dark Knight in all its grimdark glory. Iron Man came along and gave us a well made, but lighter toned origin story.

P.S. During that opening sequence, If Tony denies having Rhodey ride along with him and relegates him to the hum-drum vee, shouldn't Rhodes have been in the last vehicle, and been able to rescue Tony long before he was ever taken? Also, the idea that Tony didn't have a sub-dermal tracking chip was surprising considering the tech he was involved with. And speaking of tech, again with the phones, oh the cell phones. Its 2008, only 7 years ago, but boy does that Motorola phone with the flippy-swivel screen look antiquated. At least, later on in Iron Man 2, he has your familiar clear-glass touch screen device.

So, as I was saying, the movie begins with Tony openly drinking in a hum vee, along with a bit about the Jericho missile & the martini cooler --- "we toss one of these in for every 10 million." This whole drinking & lecherous cad schtick that RDJ carries off perfectly, his own character much more than any comic book character, is always worth a chuckle. The amount of drinking people do in (these?) movies always astound me. Tony you can accept; he alway seems half-drunk. But later on, we see Obadiah Stane pour himself a glass of whiskey in Tony's office. Its about half a glass. Even a small finger or two has my head spinning, but here we have characters weaving manipulation, lies and deception all the while downing whiskey like its water. Is Hollywood saying something? That alcohol fueled interaction is the better way to go? Or am I just a light weight? I admit it, the only reason I gained a taste for whiskey was two seasons on Deadwood.

Yes, RDJ carries off the character perfectly, his own rendition of the billionaire playboy genius. But did you see that hair? OMG, that hair! Sure, seven years ago we did things differently but its just so big. Boy band big. Product piled high big. But shove his big head inside a metal helmet and nothing affects it. More Stark technology? I remember his look being perfect, but it feels so dated to me now. Did you see the suit he wears in the opening Starkettes sequence? The textured double-breasted tux? It is just plain ugly: heavy, unshapely and probably warmer than a parka.

Speaking of suits, I never remembered how new S.H.I.E.L.D. was at the time of Iron Man. Obviously, they have some pull with the American government, but Coulson's suits really need some tailoring. If he can only afford over-sized, schlumphy suits at the time, Fury's agency must be pushing the budgets. And yet, later on it is stated Tony's dad helped found the agency with the name they are still working on. So, that means been around for a while, in some capacity.

A lot of people don't like Iron Man 2, but I rather do, especially in repeated viewings. It set the tone for the Marvel cinematic universe, as an expanded whole. Tony has privatized peace, made a celebrity status out of non-governmental interventions. He has solved the East-West dilemma and probably taken down half a dozen terrorist agencies. Even if he told SHIELD (enough with the dots) to take a flying leap, he is making the world more amenable to their existence.

The movie also brings up, and questions, the right for a single man to control so much power outside any regulation. Despite his mockery of his competitors and their failures, we discover there are capable people making capable machines and they won't use them for Good. This is already setting the tone for Civil War, when the government will come along and force all these vigilantes to be registered. We never hear of the death toll in Iron Man 2 but I gather its quite high, even with Pepper Potts apt control of the evacuation.

And in Iron Man 2, Coulson finally gets a tailored suit.

And SHIELD has some major intervention, not including the infiltration of Black Widow. I still think her look in this movie is my favourite, whether I consider he sexified elements or not. She just seems so capable in this movie, that she seems lacking in all follow-ups. And I like long hair.  Now considering mega-feminists made Joss Whedon quit Twitter (hyperbole intended) because of her reduced role in Age of Ultron, I am eager to see if I agree or not. I suspect I will.

3+1 Short Paragraphs: Hector and the Search for Happiness

2014, Peter Chelsom (Serendipity) -- download

I always want to call this movie Hector and the Pursuit of Happiness but that might just be a documentary on a guy following the late-80s Canadian pop band. Or it might get mixed up with a misspelled Will Smith movie. Alas, this one is the adaptation of a French novel, starring Simon Pegg. If the title doesn't give it away, it is about a man looking for the meaning of happiness. Pegg is a psychiatrist who realizes he is not making his patients happy just dealing with their individual neuroses and issues, and not seeking for overall health. Its because he doesn't understand overall happiness. But he gets the hint he might just not be, even with the perfectly attentive girlfriend, a rather wealthy lifestyle and being respected in his field.

That's the thing about these 'I cannot be happy' stories that always gets my goat. These people who drop everything to pursue a true centre of life, a source of happiness, always have a golden parachute. I am sure they have savings, supportive friends and family and are settled enough in the career of their choice to pick up again. Pegg definitely does. All you have to see is his flat in London at the beginning of the movie, to understand him jaunting off to China and Africa and America is not really going to hurt his lifestyle. The movie reinforces the statement that only the wealthy have the chance to seek out happiness.

Despite not being able to read the platitudes, as they were written in German on my downloaded copy, it was clearly understood these were what Pegg was collecting from people he met -- not statements on how to be happy. He goes from place to place, situation to situation collecting other people's views on the subject. Stellan Skarsgård is extremely wealthy and believes work & money makes him happy. But he doesn't convince anyone. Sex with a lovely young woman may be the key, if it didn't come with so many strings. Tibetan monks find it internally. White Doctors Without Borders, in Africa, find it in helping the needy.  Pegg finds it, and gets it, but it doesn't answer his questions. These stories always end by saying it was in front of you all along.

I will watch Simon Pegg in almost anything. He's roughly my age and as big a man-child as I am. He carries an affable, vulnerable charm that appeals to me. That is his character in this movie, someone who has not allowed himself to mature, to understand you cannot just expect happiness to come to you. If the movie says anything of value, its that, that happiness MUST be sought out and hung onto with teeth and nail. But no, even understanding that doesn't mean I get it. Get happiness, that is.

3 Short Paragraphs: The Rewrite

2014, Marc Lawrence (Two Weeks Notice) -- download

It must be very odd to be a movie writer who writes with an actor in mind. Lawrence has written four movies with Hugh Grant. I get it, you get a picture of your main character in your head, having worked with them before and just want to run with it. But what if the mains are not on the same page as you? I don't think Sandra Bullock, who has also led four of Lawrence's movies, would have liked his one, as it small movie without much oomph. Meanwhile I imagine Hugh Grant is fine, as long as its a Hugh Grant role. You know the ones, where he is a snarky, self-aggrandizing but slightly befuddled man who usually charms his way out of a predicament. This role allows him to maintain his essential character, even as he ages.

P.S. Marisa Tomei seems quite happy doing small roles in small movies and I applaud her for them, for more often than not, they are great roles. And an actor has to work, right?

So, Hugh Grant playing Hugh Grant, this time as a writer who had one great screenplay and has since been living off its fame. His agent sends him to be the teacher of a screenwriting course in a small college, just to make ends meet, while he writes his next best thing. He hates the idea. Of course he does, exchanging LA for upstate NY sounds like a bad idea. That is the premise, and the expected turnabout, where he learns to love the small college, town and its quirky people hits all the expected notes. But its a charming formula that works.

The thing is that there is an underlying laziness to the writing, which weirdly mirrors Grant's character. There are numerous women in the movie, as Grant makes sure his class is dominated by cute young things, but very few have much of a role. They all seem to exist to be the sounding board for his charming barbs. Even Marisa Tomei, who is expected to be the love interest, given time, is thinly sketched playing her usual single mom with lots of pluck. Maybe if Bullock had actually come along for this one, we would have had more of a developed main character. Alas, we had lackadaisical charm, not quite up to the sweet status, and a chuckle worthy romantic comedy. It will be great Netflix fodder.

P.S. I had to chose this poster because all the others were in this "too many teeth" smiley creepy stage.

Chappie

2014 Neill Blomkamp (Elysium) -- cinema

I really should be writing these around the days when the movie is still at its prime in the theatres, and in my head, instead of so long later that it has left your collective mind. And my head. But blog, not review site. Procrastination.

I like Blomkamp. I loved District 9 and I enjoyed Elysium despite it lacking something. I like his world, his vision much more than I like the stories he has created of late. OK, maybe not the stories themselves but the execution of them. I allow to give him time to work on that instead of having it so knife edged precise, that he burns out after a few good movies, like Shyamalan.

So far, Blomkamp also has a desire for a societal meaning to his movies. If you recall, District 9 was as much social satire as it was science fiction. The movie begins with a bureaucratic eviction notice served to aliens who may not even be able to read the contract they are shown. Sharlto Copley as low level (the program director's son in law), bumbling Wikus, is oblivious to the fact they were a slave race that may not even understand contracts, notices, etc. let alone read it. Its as comical as it is tragic. And once he is infected by the alien virus, he becomes as persona non grata as the aliens he refused to understand.

Chappie is rather heavy handed in the satire. Sometimes stumblingly so. To the point it sometimes seems unintentional.

Dev Patel is Deon, a robotics engineer with a desire to create the first self-aware AI. He has already had great success with his robot policemen, but they have a very narrow direction. We've seen these guys before, in his 2004 Tetra Vaal and also in Elysium. They are smooth moving CGI characters that seem more like traditional effects, they blend so seamlessly into their scenes. I love how Blomkamp is ever reusing his passion pieces, retooling them and expanding their repertoire. It parallels Deon as he retools one of his broken down police bots into Chappie, effectively the body being worn by the AI he hammers out on his home PC after he leaves work for the night.

Yes, another exploration of AI and the ramifications it has. But, no not really. The ramifications are rather glossed over until the movie reaches its climax. The movie is mostly a satirical look at how we react to the AI emergence. Deon is ecstatic at Chappie's birth but quickly annoyed when his place as surrogate father is overshadowed by the comical criminals that adopt him. Deon wants to be worshipped as creator, to have his creation stay rather innocent and perfect. But said criminals, played faithfully by South African punk/rap/whatever band Die Antwoord, have other plans for our steely main character.

Chappie emerges in a childlike state, ready for knowledge but with a rather confusing base state. Blomkamp seemed less interested in how a fresh AI would actually be and more interested in how we as humans could just mess things up for him. It could start its programmed life with so much downloaded but Deon has left him rather empty, maybe just dominated by a learning protocol. And seeing his born in the lair of the criminals, the first things Chappies learns are.... tainted.

Deon wants father-god worship, Ninja wants a working tough-guy machine to help him commit crimes and Yolandi (or ¥o-landi Vi$$er) sees Chappie as the newborn child, her child to be protected and coddled. Chappie seems to be the only one who gets what he is, how he has to emerge and how he deserves to live. Hell, Deon doesn't even seem to care that Chappie has a time-clock ticking, an irreplaceable battery that, when it dies, takes Chappie with it. I am sure Deon is already conceiving the next version, the one that will worship him. But Chappie has other ideas and the entire Internet of ideas is there at his disposal.

And of course, the rest of the world wants Chappie dead. A sentient robot scares them, not completely without validity considering its a gun-wielding cop bot. But Hugh Jackman's religion-bending, mullet wearing engineer in shorts really wants Chappie dead, but mainly because he wants his own personally designed cop bot to win out the contract for law enforcement in Joburg.  Jackman's bots are big, mean and full of weapons -- think ED-209 (Robocop) for a modern age. But with a remote control pilot.

I am pretty sure Jackman's character was meant to represent some social stereotype in South Africa, in his pseudo safari look, his mullet and religious fervour, but it is lost on us in NA. It still plays well into the satire, as Jackman sits only a few cubicles away from Deon but is so far away in design and success. The commentary of these  two geniuses sitting in cramped cubicles pumping out technology that sets the tone for an era made me snicker, with its commentary on the men who do the work and the suits in their offices making decisions. That Sigourney Weaver as the boss wants Chappie dead is more a matter of not understanding and not controlling whatever the hell Deon has created, than it is a real human reaction.

In the end Chappie lives, of course he does. But whereas Wikus ran off into the anonymity of the townships, now a full fledged alien, Chappie and Deon cannot be anonymous. They are the next stage in evolution of life on Earth. And yet, so very very dependant on their creators.

The satire was not entirely successful. I could not get over Ninja and Yolandi and their cartoonish presence. For them, Chappie was just the latest tech they couldn't understand but wished to exploit. I don't think they got much of a breakthrough this was. And we have to sit through so many comical interactions between them and Chappie, for a moment I really thought Blomkamp was fond of Short Circuit. But the movie is so much fun to watch, I forgave those aspects.

xBox One: Destiny

I didn't enjoy Destiny and I cannot fully explain, even to myself, why. The game was the highly anticipated (yes, I know its been out for ages, but it was highly anticipated before it came out) from Bungie, the same studio as Halo. They claimed it would be revolutionary, innovative and a ton of other buzz words. What we got was a very very pretty MMO-style FPS. Ahem, Massively Multiplayer Online style First Person Shooter, for the benefit of my non-gamer readers. And that meant grind, lots of grind. But in a world with great art design. Again, grind is the repeating the same task over and over and over and over to accomplish a larger end goal. For example, collecting a resource from the fallen body of an enemy 50 times.

Premise. Its the distant future, long after a big (moon sized big) alien sphere was discovered. That discovery ushered in a new age for mankind, allowing them to leap forward in technology, colonize the other planets in our solar system and reach for the stars. The sphere, called The Traveller, had enemies and they ended our golden age and reduced us to ruin, from massive colonies down to one city, on Earth, with The Traveller floating above. We, as main character, awake from the dead accompanied by a floating Tyrion Lann... I mean, Peter Dinklage voiced robot. We don't know who we are, why we are, but we are a type of hero called a Guardian. Guardians exist to protect The Traveller and hope to discover why we fell and help the system recover. And there are aliens.

The background is sketchy, broad strokes of mystic scifi peppered with post apocalypse. We get more and more as we do missions but it never really fills in anything. There is no real story here, just a translucent attempt at creating a vast world with vast things happening. Hell, we don't even really find out why we were dead and why we lost our memories. There are undead aliens burrowed into the Moon, there are robotic intelligences hanging out on Venus, there are four armed aliens on Mars. All the alien races have boring names like The Fallen or The Cabal or The Hive. It gets rather vexing. Hah. That's a pun on another alien's name, The Vex. Yeah, I yawned at that too. Yawning is par for the course in this game.

I don't get it. In many aspects, Destiny is a loot-gathering, item-upgrading game like Diablo III. You go out and shoot the same enemies over and over to find special items, weapons, armor and stuff in order to upgrade your current weapons, armor and stuff. In fantasy games, this is fun for some reason, watching your guy put on different fancy suits of armor or wield neat, flashy weapons. But here I got so very very bored as I was challenged on fighting enemies for about 10 levels. The grind was very anti-heroic. It always felt dangerous, not challenging dangerous but act-too-cautious-in-order-to-survive dangerous. And that was ignoring the occasionally blundering into enemies you couldn't hope to defeat. It wasn't until about midway through the game, that it picked up and you could actually take down enemies with abandon. And the cool stuff started to drop.

Most of the stuff is usual stuff. Weapons, armor and currency. Much of it were crafting materials of which were almost solely to be saved for later in the game. You also got to upgrade your spaceship, but only in a cosmetic way. The only point of the spaceship was to make the load screens not as boring. So why the frick does my spaceship need a hat. Non-gamer friends? Hats are a general reference to a common cosmetic change to characters in game that have no effect on game play, but make you prettier, i.e. your character can put on a hat. Spaceships don't need hats.

As for the multiplayer aspect of it, it was more like MMO-light. There were always other real people running around in the background but I never interacted. Back in the MMO days I did that as well, but they at least made the world feel populated. The only time, in Destiny, that the other players felt required for the game was during Raids -- special, tougher missions that always had 1-3 people involved. You needed those other players. And of course, there was an arena style area, where everyone could fight everyone. Most MMO players looooove PvP, player vs player. I don't. I just get my ass kicked over and over and over by kids 1/3 my age.

It was around mid-level I realized this was a game for Real Gamers (tm) i.e. those people that understand the minutiae of this type of gameplay. They are about builds, min-ing and max-ing characters, strategies in raids, etc. They use tons of jargon. I just wanted to play a game and have some fun and be immersed in a world. Its why I got bored with MMOs, but at least they had some fun story elements that were always in play. Main missions, side missions, expansion packs -- TONS of story. The story in Destiny finishes after level 20. Yes, quickly done and over. The rest of the game, all the gameplay, everything else you would do with the game is about just advancing your character during hours of rinse & repeat of previous missions. OMG yawn.

Not long after finishing the story, I quit. And I gather many people would say the game is just beginning at that level. But for me, it was done. And I am rather disappointed. It was an Xmas gift, it was a highly anticipated game. It was boring.

Parallels

2015, Christopher Leone (writer for The Lost Room) -- Netflix

Getting it out of the way, Parallels is the new age Sliders. Its a show, and I will stick to calling it a show even if its only a pilot presented on Netflix as a movie. This show is produced by Fox Digital Studio, the imprint that just about every big media studio now needs. Finally, they are getting it and breaking ground in new forms of production and distribution. Even if they don't fully get it, at least the attempt is there. But the model is still evolving so I will forgive that.

So, Sliders. Parallel worlds. For each and every possibility, every choice we make, each choice anyone makes, there is a world. So, it might be as simple as New Coke was a success. Or it might be as drastic as the Americans won the war of 1812 and we are (*shriek*) just another bunch of states. Now imagine you can travel from one to the other. That is the basic premise of any parallel world fiction. Sliders had them swooping down tubes of energy, desperately trying to get home. Parallels uses a building that exists in all worlds. Yes, a Tanelorn or Well of Many Worlds. A building is the portal to all the alternate worlds, existing in all realities, no matter how different they are. This will be interesting should they go to one where technology never went past medieval.

Ronan and Beatrix are two siblings brought back together by a mysterious message from their father. This message leads them to said building where they are almost immediately sent to a world destroyed by nuclear holocaust, one that may or may have not been caused by their father. Conflict, mistrust and mysterious secondary characters are introduced pretty decently for a non-big studio production. Its not quite Lost in its weirdness and confusion but there are references to high technology and legacies mixed with a slight possibility of the main characters actually returning to their home reality.

I loved it. But I also loved his The Lost Room, which dealt with a weird never changing hotel room and the magical items created when you removed an item from the room. It plays on my love of the multiverse, alternate realities and the ability to travel to them. The acting is decent enough and the story is more solid than many shows actually being aired right now -- think Olympus if you have seen it, much to my pity for you.

I desperately need this to make it to regular series status. Hopefully enough views on Netflix will influence such.  Hint hint.

Graig also rather enjoyed it.

3 Short Paragraphs: Young Ones

2014, Jake Paltrow -- download

Speaking of post-apocalypse. Wait, we weren't, we were speaking of apocalypse. This is not that, but more the slow burn ending of the world and the people living in that po-ap age.  This world is ending as the water goes away, as the people pull back to the cities behind the wall (not unlike Beasts of the Southern Wild), as those they leave behind struggle desperately to survive, fighting to keep a way of life they barely remember. The water may be gone, but its only mostly gone.

Michael Shannon plays Ernest Holm, alcoholic and father of two. He lives in a dust bowl, protecting his land, but for what reason, even he is not sure. He makes enough money carrying supplies to the water miners in the mountains, those rough men who live off alcohol and dirty magazines, digging the water out of the dust, to be sent only to the city. Where other movies would have them drilling for oil, these men drill for water. In fact, this movie feels like many other movies. Think any Australian Outback movie where the world has ended and blood is drawn over what is left. Think There Will Be Blood and the obsessive oilmen. Think westerns and their duels with the rich and ambitious, while eking out lives in dust and violence.

I am not sure if I liked this movie, but I did like how it presented itself. Of course I did, its po-ap. But presentation wise, no its not. In fact, it felt less bleak than The Rover. There are used robot salesmen, for frack's sake. There is civilization but these people chose to live outside it, not wishing to be under the heels of civilized life. But beside the struggle for water and life, there is the familiar desire for control, power and family. Nicholas Hoult is the interloper who seeks to take Elle Fanning, daughter of Holm away from the homesteader. Kodi Smit-McPhee is the other Holm, seeking to keep his family going. While hanging onto the western motif, their interactions are fun to watch and well acted, but in the end, nothing is really compelling. Well, maybe the use of a realistic bigdog robot.

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For

2014, Frank Miller, Robert Rodriguez (From Dusk Till Dawn) -- Netflix

The first movie, Sin City, is from the days before Frank Miller proved himself to be a misogynist and dropped from the hearts & minds of the comic book world. Oh, there are still the mouth breathers that love what he does and what he stands for, but really, despite having created some of the most iconic images out there, he is not liked very much these days. The extreme worlds he creates, film noir but full of ultra-violence and over the top characters, are still compelling but I am not sure if the world wants it anymore, and even Robert Rodriguez seems to be calling this one in.

As the movie opened, my first thoughts were, "Was it always this cartoony?" I remember Sin City with its shadows, the angles and the stark black vs white. But I don't remember it being so phony looking. Maybe its just time, but for the most part, the movie forgets how to setup a scene, much of them looking like SyFy level green screen creations. Cartoony. Only the scenes that are built straight from the comic have any weight to them, any allure and wonder. THOSE scenes look incredible.  Nancy on her bed in a halo of the sheets. Dwight coming in through the skylight. But even the tastefully (*snerk*) done nude scenes with Eva Green become tiresome as the "look! artful shadows! obscuring smoke!" is used over and over and over. By the end of the movie, I was wishing the style was done away with for this movie.

As for the movie itself, it resurrects the mixed stories and chronology of the first but messes up any continuity, completely, utterly and confoundingly. Marv should be dead for about half the movie, based on what he did in the first. If they are happening concurrently, then at least cut his hair to mirror the first's, not that silly mullet he is wearing. And even if you ignore the Dwight is not Clive Owen bit, things gets messed up there too. Yes, this movie requires Googling someone's blog post to even make half-sense of the timelines. That is what nails the coffin lid down for this movie, showing it to be slapped together for dollars and not whatsoever for the art it could be.

Was there anything enjoyable to warrant the Like I gave it on Netflix?  Yes, Josh Brolin is utterly brilliant in this, from his glare and growl to the way his body moves. He is solid meat and willpower and carries every scene he is in. Eva Green really plays the Miller iconic woman, i.e. All Women Are Evil Manipulative Witches, to the tee. Yes, her breasts do as much of the acting as she does, but she really seems to relish these roles. And Gordon Joseph Levitt's truncated character arc is completely sold; you could tell he just dove into the role, and I just loved loved loved those stacks of coins they gambled with. Really, those coins made me forgive much of the movie.

OK, I suppose I should own up a bit. I won't deny the Nancy dance scenes still work for me. But her story arc was wasted.  Having her go nutzoid and Marv tagging along like a lovesick puppy was a disappointment, because one of the things the first movie had established is that Nancy gained strength from the death of Hartigan. Shame.