Friday, June 28, 2024

The Dark Year: Rampage

Because we never have enough projects in this Blog, I am creating one of my own, wherein I indulge my desire to rewatch a movie (because sometimes a rewatch is easier than absorbing a new movie) but also fill in a blank left by the Great Hiatus of 2018. It will be more interesting to me to see what I will be willing to rewatch, than see what I missed writing about.

2018, Brad Peyton (San Andreas) -- download

In Googling to see if I wrote about this one, I see Kent did, but I did not. Surprisingly Kent liked it, but then again, not surprisingly consider our shared fondness for kaiju-ness. And this movie has a giant ape, a giant-er wolf and and even more gigantic gator thing.

The movie is based on a video game. But not just any video game, but a rather obscure 80s arcade game. I say obscure because few people I know, from the 80s, even remember it, but apparently it was a big success. The premise is 80s arcade game silly. Three people transmogrify into giant monsters: George the Ape, Lizzie the... Lizard, and Ralph the big werewolf thing. From there, you climb buildings, do the smashy smashy and eat food... and people, if I recall correctly. Oh, and fight the military. 

This is not the kind of video game that is dear to the pop culture nostalgic heart, so I have no idea why they thought it needed to be adapted into an action-thriller ala Transformers. But whichever Purple Suit green lit this idea, I want to hug them, cuz I absolutely love this stupid, silly, utterly ridiculous movie. I even went so far as to grab a 4K copy, cuz whatever format I watched it in 2018, was lost to a HDD crash. If I was still adding to The Shelf, it would definitely be there. 

Why AREN'T you still adding to The Shelf? And don't use the lack of media outlets as an excuse.

The ISS, an experiment gone wrong. A bug ugly spiky rat thing has killed all but one of the scientists and astronauts. She is desperately trying to get to the escape pod, but Evil Boss Lady (Malin Akerman, 27 Dresses) yells, "No! Get the experiment first and then you can escape." She does, barely getting into the pod before the rat thing eats her, the space station exploding around her. Alas, rat thing is blow into the pod and his scratchy scratch claws compromise the pod and soon its burning wreckages is falling down over the US, three of the experiment cannisters crashing into: the everglades, hills of Montana, and a zoo in San Diego.

Intro act. Ex-military guy Davis Okoye (The Rock, Moana) is a primatologist working at the San Diego Zoo, and is best friends with big albino ape George. George is intelligent, knows sign language and is a bit of a joker. Davis doesn't like people, despite all the girls swooning over the bald head and all the muscles. His assistants are basically plot exposition -- fill in some details as to the character of Davis.

Also, at least three people in this movie are in "The Boys". Casting agency? Some connection to Kripke?

The night after our introduction is when George finds the experiment cannister in his compound. The next morning, George is a wee bit bigger, like 9 feet high bigger. And aggressive. Apparently he killed a grizzly. WTF George!! What did the mean bear ever do to you? They sedate George but... he's still growing and the next morning he breaks out and escapes. 

Oh yeah, mention grotty scientist lady, Dr. Kate Caldwell (Naomie Harris, Miami Vice). Grotty because she used to work for Evil Boss Lady's corporation, but was fired and now sleeps in her own filth, and is now trying desperately to get her bastardized experiment back. She ends up with Davis and Big George, claiming to be there to help him. She's lying. Davis doesn't like liars.

Grotty. A bit harsh maybe? She is depicted as the completely-focused STEM type who doesn't have time for proper sleep schedules and ... hygiene. I actually envy being so enthralled with something that all normal human action takes second place. No really, I do. I have never had any such level of passion. When people talk about "Doing what you love!" I wonder if sitting, staring into space can be a passion.

Anywayz, the Acronym Police (Jeffrey Dean Morgan, The Losers) show up and arrest George. I am not sure what Davis and Caldwell did to also be arrested, but sure, whatever. Also, George is stuffed into a big C17 plane. Davis says he doesn't like planes, and In the Air (Phil Collins drum solo) is not exactly the best place for a big (BIG!), angry gorilla but Acronym Police Guy has to take George away. That's alright, they have George sedated.

Of course, George wakes up, goes ape-shit (really?) and kills pretty much everyone onboard but Davis and Kate. Also, David saves Acronym Police Guy. The plane crashes. They survive. So does George. Of course he does.

Interlude. Evil Boss Lady and her Lesser Evil Brother (Jake Lacy, Girls) have hired some military goons to capture a wolf-creature that shows up in Montana. It doesn't go so well.

Davis and Kate are once again incarcerated unfairly by the military who have taken over control of the op from Acronym Police Guy. But he ends up helping them escape, steal a chopper (which Davis can fly), and head to Chicago, because that apparently is where George, and his new best pal, Ralph the Wolf (does anyone actually call him Ralph in the movie? Wikipedia seems to think so....) are headed. Kate postulates something about bat signals and Evil Boss Lady's headquarters being there. 

Inner voice tangent. I commented the other day, to myself and to Marmy, that Jeffrey Dean Morgan plays a lot of "acronym police" types in movies and TV -- guys in black & white suits working for a government agency, either as the Bad Guy or as the Grey Area Guy. I said that seeing him appear as a new character on this season's "The Boys". And here he is playing exactly that kind of character.

Chicago. Its being evacuated. The monsters have arrived, drawn to the signal on the big tower. Military types are not having much luck shooting the monsters. They also don't, as expected of military types, don't know how to stay OUT OF ARM'S REACH !! At this point, the movie just glosses over the fact that George, the big albino galoot with a weird sense of humour, is murdering dozens of people. That's alright, he's been roofied.  Also, this is a big, dumb, action-thriller so I am not sure why I would ascribe human morality rules here.

Davis and Kate arrive, seeking to break into Evil Boss Lady's tower to steal.... a cure? I mean, really all Kate wants is to be validated in her research and also separate herself from what it has become. Davis just wants George back. While the monsters are munching and chomping and crushing things outside, Lizzie shows up via the Chicago River. The military is sending in a MOAB (mother of all bombs). 

Evil Boss Lady interrupts Kate and Davis stealing cures, which turns out not to be a cure at all, but it will inhibit the aggression the monsters are feeling, and shoots Davis. They then make their way to the roof where their escape chopper is, but also, the signal attracting the monsters? You'd think they might think it better to install that signal on another tower? Also, why are they attracting the monsters? Something about getting some aspect of the "successful" experiment from their corpses? They will, of course, blame it all on Kate who was fired after all. And then sell the monster making formula to the higher bidder.

Lesser Evil Brother is a bit of a knob, under the thumb of his sister. And he's a bit of a nerd, as we can see in his big, glass office. He has the actual Rampage arcade game console in the office, as well as a few others. He also has some collectible figures on his desk: a dragon, and a pair of robots/spaceships that I am having no luck identifying, not even with the help of the Interwebz.

There is a bit of a kerfuffle on the tower roof, helicopter pilot is tossed away, chopper damaged, and Kate convinces George to eat Evil Boss Lady, along with the vials of "cure". Davis reappears, shot but not dead, and devises a plan to ride the broken chopper down the collapsing tower. Oh yeah, because Ralph and Lizzie have been smashing their way up the tower, its gonna collapse. It does. They ride the "wave" down and ... cough cough... grey dust everywhere... survive. BUT SO DO THE MONSTERS !!

Buuuut the "cure" has kicked in and George is now back cracking bad jokes to Davis via sign language. Dude, much inappropriate? Together, he and Davis get the monsters fighting with each other, Lizzie kills Ralph and George has to duke it out with Lizzie. Meanwhile Kate is convincing Acronym Police Guy to call off the MOAB. George finally kills Lizzie and the bombing run is stopped at the last second. And George dies.

No, not really, George is being a dick, pretending to be dead, so we can have some comic relief at the expense of Davis. The city has been saved, the evil monsters killed and George made not-evil. To accentuate that point, as we pull back, we see George the Giant Ape helping some guy from the second story of a ruined building, letting him do the Faye Ray thing and ride his palm to the ground. If I was that guy, I would still be pretty traumatized and not willing to step into the palm of a giant freaking ape. But you do you, Grateful Guy. Maybe he speaks American Sign.

An utterly ludicrous, immensely stupid, big bombastic movie. But I love it. Almost as much as I dislike the taking-themselves-far-too-seriously Transformers movies. I am not sure where Peyton went wrong with Atlas considering it had the opportunity to do the same here -- ride of the tail of other movies in the same vein, but do something big and stupid and fun. I mean, Atlas was big and stupid, but a lot of the fun was milked out of it. Not sure how though...

Wednesday, June 26, 2024

3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): Arcadian

2024, Benjamin Brewer (feature debut) -- download

The term Arcadian refers to living a life at one with nature, harkening back ancient times, a place in the mountains of Greece where Pan was said to dwell. The word is often used in the same language as a utopia. The world of this movie may have "returned to nature" but its far from being at one with it. This is the classic (really? classic? maybe just .... familiar?) monster movie, popular since A Quiet Place (original movie post not available; this links to the sequel) where a monster has arisen and all but wiped out humanity. Note to self, see if anyone has collected all the different properties that have explored this idea, probably starting with a vampire reference. The people of these movies may have learned to live off the land again, but rarely are they "at one". And "nature" is still trying to kill their ass.

The movie starts as Paul (Nicolas Cage, The Rock) is escaping The City, with imagery reminiscent of The Last of Us (I guess the writeup of this got lost in the recent period of "not writing about TV" ?) into the countryside where he finds two abandoned babies, assumingly twins. This is most definitely not the countryside of the US but no matter, we can ignore that. Ireland does lend itself to pastoral depictions more readily than the US.

15 years later.

Rituals. Do you chores, do your things, always be back by dusk so the doors can be locked, the doors can be barred, the windows sealed up and everything checked twice. Cuz at night the monsters come to scratch and bang and growl and hiss.

Joseph (Jaeden Martell, It) is smart, clever and insular. He draws, he makes things. Thomas (Maxwell Jenkins, Lost in Space) is outgoing (he actually cuts his hair), and more interested in running through the woods and over the hill to the Rose Farm, a small collective family who has a teenage girl. 

We spend a good amount of time getting to know the dynamic between the boys, the frictions and seeing how Paul has raised them. This is low-key Cage, little of the familiar mania running through the character. So much so that I might say that he is more the secondary character here. And for much of the movie he is out of play. 

Thomas is returning late from the Rose Farm, where he kissed a girl (and he liked it), when he slips and falls into a crevasse. When he wakes, it is after dark. Paul has gone out to find him and they end up fighting off a bunch of the monsters, claws and long arms digging up through the soft soil at the bottom of the crevasse until Paul triggers an explosive. It drives the monsters off but he is sorely injured. What to do now? Only one choice -- take Paul to the Rose Farm.

Exceeept, they are rejected. They will provide no shelter, no medicine, but they will take Thomas in, as one less mouth for Joseph to feed will help his father recover (how? no idea, its Rose Logic). The problem is that Joseph has noticed the monsters have been changing tactics, and they have learned to finally come up from below. Apparently none of these houses have classic North American concrete foundations. First, we see the attack on the Rose Farm, then when only Thomas and Charlotte (Sadie Soverall, Saltburn) survive the attack, they rush back to his brother, to find him securing the place against the monsters, who have already dug their tunnels from below. Paul wakes up, the monsters attack, and Paul sacrifices himself so the others can escape, blowing the house up behind them.

This definitely was a lower budget version of those other movies teetering on the bottom teer. But it has vision, in that the story is more about the two brothers coming of age in a world where adulthood is not guaranteed. The monsters are trappings, metaphors, as they often are in these movies. But woo-boy, did they have fun with the monster creation. Long limbed, folding up on themselves, able to stretch them out beyond comprehension, even extending claws like an octopus extends its arms (arms, not tentacles) but their heads are like ... cartoons? The head is wide and flat, filled with... well, not-sharp-teeth, but flat molars, and one of their mechanisms is to clap those teeth like one of those wind-up denture toys, deafeningly loud. And how they eat? We only get a brief vision of one expelling inner organs out and onto a victim, so I am assuming they digest whole bodies. And then there is the (not almost) laughingly weird mechanic where all the creatures gather all together in a ... wheel... and roll along quickly, chasing down fleeing prey. I am sure they were going for the "like something nobody has seen before" and while it is weird & funny, it is that indeed.

I usually watch horror movies in October, and only a few squeak through into the rest of the year. But this year is a bumper crop of horror movies, I am assuming there were a ton sitting on shelves ready to be unleashed after the strike. I watched this primarily for a PoAp depiction and while that was far removed, the movie more focused on human dynamic, it was a generally satisfying movie. It makes me wonder if the same can be applied to the action thrillers I watch as much as PoAp movies, and no, those movies are often less-than-satisfying even within the confines of their genres.

It is at this point he realizes this is the latest evolution of how this blog covers less and less the movies themselves and more and more the act of watching, the why's and how's. That's something, I guess.

Tuesday, June 25, 2024

3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): Xtreme

2021, Daniel Benmayor (Tracers) -- Netflix

Or Xtremo.

The last of the "revenge flicks from other countries" I clicked that day, this one being Spain.

Technically you have a handful more but those were added just because you wanted them on a list, not because you were thinking of them as a contiguous whole.

This movie begins using a trope I have always hated in American movies -- a Pistol of Never Ending Rounds (dude, it wasn't a magical item). The movie begins with a crime boss closing a deal with "The Columbians", his children as lieutenants: blood son Lucero (Óscar Jaenada, The Shallows), recently returned from Japan where he was to learn honour among the Yakuza, Maria (Andrea Duro, The Curse of the Handsome Man) his tech and money handler, and Máximo (Teo Garcia, stuntman's feature debut), his enforcer and adopted son. But Lucero hasn't learned anything from the Yakuza but how to be brutal, and kills all the Columbian representatives, and then his own father. He sends his loyal thug Finito (Sergio Peris-Mencheta, Rambo: Last Blood) to kill Max and his son, as Max was "getting out of the life" with the blessing of Lucero's father. Finito shoots Max a couple of times in the back, and then forces the dying man to watch as he shoots the young boy. And then leaves him to die in the burning building.

But the scene I refer to is when Lucero decides to betray his father's bargain and execute every Columbian himself, walking from person to person, shooting them with his big, shiny .357 Magnum. This is a scene, repeated many times later, where he is a perfect shot, never missing, never reloading, always killing, one bullet, one body, never taking cover, while others cannot even come close to hitting him. If it was That Guy "back in the day", I would have turned the movie off, but I was curious to see it through, to see what could be made of this Spanish John Wick (again, it desperately seeks the comparison) and how Max, who is definitely not dead at the hands of Finito, would play out his revenge.

Years later, Lucero is hiding out somewhere away from Barcelona. The leaders of the rest of the gangs in their syndicate don't trust him, with good reason. Max (almost nobody knows he's alive) and Maria have reconnected, and while Max hides out, all anger and fuzzy hair, in a disused garage, Maria has a mansion in the hills, where she lives off what remains of her father's fortune. Meanwhile Leo (Óscar Casas, HollyBlood), a cocky teen is playing the role of low level drug dealer for Finito, but also as a source of irritant to the Russians, as Lucero hopes to instigate them into response. Why? Oh who knows. The movie wants us to see Lucero as having some master plan behind killing his father, killing the Columbians and then running away, but it plays out mostly like a petulant child. Anywayz, Max interrupts some Russians putting a beat down on Leo, which reveals he is alive to the wrong people.

The two connect, Max showing Leo some moves, and Leo mocking Max for being a hermit in a garage. But their connection quickly draws Finito, who tracks down and brutally slays Leo's innocent family. They know it will draw Max out, and it does, but with unexpected consequences -- the plan Max and Maria have been working through for years has to be escalated, which is convenient cuz Lucero's own plan involves paying off the syndicate leaders with the cash he has made during his years of unchecked violence. So Max steals it. They end up face to face in the final act, Max claiming he will exchange the money for Maria, who was captured while caring for Leo, injured... when his family was killed? Or later? It is at this point, as has happened in so many other generic action thriller revenge movies, where I realize nothing has really stuck. I barely remember the what's or why's.

I mean, it ends as Max and Lucero fight, with katanas, because swords are cool and Lucero has a cool Yakuza back tattoo and... well, despite some weak attempts at style, I have to admit, that the opening trope should have advised me what I was getting into. Its something that in the 90s would have starred JCVD and would have been relegated to the bottom shelf of the video store. 

It seems I am unable to even draw out the ire I have for movies I find terrible, in these lackadaisical action movies, the uninspired, and yet constantly seeking to steal visuals and tropes from better movies. I mean, this one even goes so far as to make a nod to the now famous lobby scene from The Matrix. But I am sure that just like there were bachelor men who lived off those bottom-shelfers, there are those who will watch this movie with the rapt attention of a better viewer.

Now the question remains -- why the fuck are you watching these?

Sunday, June 23, 2024

KWIF: Tokyo! (+4)

KWIF is Kent's Week in Film where each week Kent has a spotlight movie of which he writes a longer, thinkier piece, and then whatever else he watched that week he attempts a quick wee summary of his thoughts (and fails...in the "quick" part).

This Week:
Tokyo! (2008, d. Michel Gondry, Leos Carax, Bong Joon-ho - Tubi)
Shiva Baby (2020, d. Emma Seligman - Netflix)
First Men in the Moon (1964, d. Nathan H. Juran - Silver Screen Classics)
Rolling Thunder (1977, d. John Flynn - AmazonPrime)
Miami Blues (1990, d. George Armitage - AmazonPrime)

and go.

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I don't know how I've gone this long without having heard of the French-funded anthology film Tokyo!  which features three exceptionally notable modern auteurs of cinema. Like, you would figure it would have come up in any conversation about the repertoire of these visionary filmmakers. But no, I had to find out by spending 20 minutes thumbing through the "free to me" movies section of my cable provider. 

Yes, I still have cable, because... shut up.

Michel Gondry, Leos Carax, and Bong Joon-ho? I've said many places about how I hate anthologies (usually in relation to comic books) mainly because they're usually nominal works from their creators, but to watch three short films from these luminaries, there can be no disappointments here. 

Gondry cut his teeth making impeccable music videos that tell wildly imaginative stories in a very short amount of time, so it's almost like 30 to 40 minutes may be more his wheelhouse than actual feature films.  His entry, Interior Design, is based on the sequential art short story Cecil and Jordan in New York by Gabrielle Belle.  The story finds a young couple Hiroko and Akira coming to Tokyo to screen Akira's first indie film. They stay with Hiroko's college friend in her tiny apartment, but it's supposed to be very temporary. It is not. While Akira finds a menial job immediately, Hiroko can't even manage that. Akira says she's has no aspirations, and Gondry very effectively captures her aimlessness, which is truly the heart of the story. Hiroko wanders the streets of Tokyo, looking at apartments, but always feeling a step behind, hopeless and homeless. After Akira's screening she's chatted up by another woman who tells her how important it can be to solely be the support base for an artist, to have no purpose than to ease another's burdens so that they can be creative. It hits Hiroko in her core being. Who is she? What is she?

I can't really talk about what puzzles me about this film without spoiling its very Gondry-esque twist. So skip this paragraph if you don't want to know...  ... ... Hiroko starts turning into a chair. The classic wooden type with the spindled back. She's utterly distraught and very publicly transitions, her clothes falling away as her legs become wooden stilts, until eventually she just is a chair. But she can also not be a chair, emerging fully naked in the evening streets of Tokyo is a scary place. She transitions in and out of being a chair, until a musician, just takes chair-Hiroko home. The musician's place is gorgeous, the perfect apartment she failed to find in her own search. When the musician leaves, she starts tending to the space, watering the plants, cleaning the kitchen, and when he returns, she's a very useful chair.  I mean... what?  It seems that Hiroko finds a sense of fulfillment out of being a piece of useful furniture, not just taking up space, but having purpose, but the sort of regressive domestication and becoming exactly the support base for an artist had me scratching my head at the messaging (especially since the night before we were watching comedians make fun of the "Tradwives" of the internet). Not that there's anything wrong with a woman finding fulfillment in such a life, so long as she doesn't advocate it as the *only* option for women. Anyway, it threw me for a loop that I'm still circling.

Carax's story, Merde, starts out darkly comedic, as a milky eyed, long-nailed leprechaun with an oddly-groomed red beard and green corduroy suit (no shirt, no socks, no shoes) emerges from the sewer and proceeds to walk down this busy Tokyo street disrupting everything, with Carax doing a long rear-facing take tracking the action. He steals things out of peoples hands, tosses lit cigarettes into baby carriages, eats people's money and flowers, licks a woman's armpit, and is generally just an ugly, uncultured nuisance. Oh yeah, and it's all set to the key theme of Godzilla. The local TV news (which Carax depicts as being, like, cable access) has eyewitness statements and begins calling him, as subtitled "The Creature from the Sewers" (and my keen ears did hear the actual use of Kaiju in his name).  The leprechaun explores the underground of Tokyo and finds an old WWII military depot, including a crate of grenades, which on his next exploration of the surface he begins lobbing everywhere, murdering dozens. A task force is sent into the sewer and captures him. He's put on trial where a French attorney, with a similar oddly-groomed red beard and long nails is one of only three people who speak the same language as the creature, who we learn is called Monsieur Merde (or "Mr. Shit").  M. Merde is a terrible racist and hates the Japanese, but he explains he is as his god made and delivered him, and he is cursed to be in places where he is at his most uncomfortable. 

The trial find Carax using one of his favourite tricks, split and multi-paneled screens. He does this I think because otherwise the trial is rather interminable to watch as any statement to or from M. Merde needs to be translated from Japanese to French then French to Merde's weirdo language, or in reverse.  It's a bit of a trifle, this neo-kaiju story, as far as I can tell, there's not really much of a statement being made here. In referencing Godzilla through the music, a heavily allegorical film, it implies there may be an allegory here as well, but I can't seem to find it. If anything I was made uncomfortable by M. Merde's similarities to those unhoused or addicted experiencing a mental health crisis very prevalent in Toronto, which is definitely coincidence but really puts a damper on this as just a bit of an odd lark.

The final story is Shaking Tokyo from Bong Joon-ho. It begins with a title card defining "hikikomori", sort of a shut-in/agoraphobe/hoarder, but really young (like teen or 20s). Teruyuki Kagawa plays our hikikomori here, who describes his routine in every detail, nothing that he hasn't been outside in over ten years, hasn't looked another person in the eyes in as much time and gets everything delivered. His house is piled high with books, magazines, pizza boxes and toilet paper rolls, but they're all immaculately stacked in a very orderly way. His comfortable, familiar world is usurped when receiving his usual pizza delivery, he catches a glimpse of the driver's garter belt, which instinctively causes him to look up, and he meets the young woman's eyes. The awkwardness is palpable for both but, just then, an earthquake hits. The young woman falls over unconscious. Panic stricken, the man first keeps his distance, then grabs her a glass of water (which he then drinks) then checks (without touching her) if she is still breathing. He notices she has tattoos on her arm, buttons, with labels ("sadness", "hysteria", "headache"). Then he notices another on her leg that says "coma". He presses the "button" and she awakens. She takes in his space, compliments him on it, and notices a flaw in his pizza box stacks before departing. He is clearly smitten. Days later, off schedule, he nervously orders another pizza, only it's delivered by a very gruff man who barges into his space leaving pools of rainwater behind him. The girl has quit, become hikikomori herself.  He psyches himself up for days to go out into the world and save this young woman from her fate.

Director Bong is such an immaculate craftsman, not that Gondry and Carax are not very specific in their productions, but there's such a crispness and exactness to all of Director Bong's productions and that is just as evident here. The short is beautifully shot, every frame seemingly perfect in its composition. His spaces, even his messy spaces, seem so refined, but here we have a hoarder who is so orderly. Just like with Interior Design and Merde, there is one element that just makes me uneasy, and it's the fact that our hikikomori is clearly older then the seemingly very young delivery woman. Their "meet-cute" is hella cute, brief as it is (and teetering dangerously on manic pixie dream girl territory, if not for the fact that he's sort of a manic pixie dream man himself), but the age disparity (I looked it up and there's a 20-year age gap between the performers), particularly in the end where he is groping at her arm and forcebly pulling the young woman out of her house to, in his mind, stop her from becoming like him...well, it's a deeply uncomfortable level of physicality. It speaks to the man's desperation, but there's also a fixation paradigm here that the physical engagement, despite intention, is a step too far.

Each of these three stories I was immersed and immensely compelled by. These are great storytellers and directors each really interested in abnormalities of society. But at the same time they're very 2008, and each story, as noted, has an element that, by today's standards, would have to be reconsidered. 

As a whole, these are stories that take place in Tokyo, and use Tokyo as their environment effectively, but I wouldn't say that Tokyo is necessarily a character, or that these three outsiders are representing anything foundational or even observational about the massive city (heck, Gondry's is a transposition from New York-based source material). Their weirdo vibes are always welcome though, and I think overall it's a successful anthology, with an asterisk.

---

I love this spin on the classic
Herb Alpert and the Tijuana
Brass "A Taste Of Honey"
album comver

Lady Kent and I very much enjoyed Bottoms, last year's absurd high school outsiders comedy that plays with the trope of marrying sex and violence with immensely delightful results. It was the second feature from writer-director Emma Seligman and co-writer/star Rachel Sennott. I had heard of this duo as a result of their highly praised debut Shiva Baby, a film I have had every intention of watching since it's pandemic era release...but I had heard it was a cringe-comedy and I've become really averse to the subgenre. With the evening running short and nothing more pressing to watch one night, the 1-hour 17-minute runtime, more than anything fit the bill. 

The film opens with college-age student Danielle (Sennott) having sex with older man Max (Danny Deferrari). It's very clear he's her sugar daddy, though maybe not clear to him. She's missed the funeral of an elderly relative, and she meets up with her parents (Fred Melamed [Lady Dynamite] and Polly Draper [Thirtysomething]) for the shiva. Her mom is very concerned with social status and preps manufactured talking points for the family when friends and relatives engage them on what Dani has been up to (and everyone is into everyone's business). he family dynamics are very quickly, concisely, and clearly conveyed. It's masterful scripting and tremendously funny.  Dani spies Maya (Molly Gordon, The Bear) and avoids her. Turns out they were best friends-turned-lovers gone sour, in what Dani's mom calls "a phase", but if lying about her schooling, career goals, work history and romantic life while avoiding her old flame isn't enough, who shows up to the shiva but sugar daddy Max...who is married (to a shiksa no less) and has a baby ("Who brings a baby to a shiva?").

While the proceedings are frequently uncomfortable (Dani's fixation on Max, and, moreover Max's tall, hot blonde and very successful wife, lead her to say and do some very ill-advised things), it's kind of clear that Dani is in a bit of a crisis. The comedy is Dani doing and saying the wrong thing, but there's a deeper meaning to it all that Maya clocks right away. They have their own baggage they need to sort through, but at the heart of it, there is love and affection. Even Dani's mom, judgemental as she is, clocks something is off with her, but is too busy circulating to really drill down. She just wants Dani to pretend she's someone else and behave herself for a couple hours, unaware of the toll such repeated requests is having on Dani's ever-fracturing psyche.

Particularly the last act, when Dani's unconscious competitive and vengeful streaks start to manifest, directed at Max's wife (who, once we are separated from Dani's POV of her, actually seems very nice, and very much the victim of a husband taking advantage of her), the film does venture into "cringe" territory, but for the most part it's not interested in doing something funny without it having a character purpose. Cringe characters are those that make bad choices either unconsciously because they are narcissist or idiots incapable of self-reflection. Dani is neither of these and Sennett, the full-fledged, ready-made star of this movie, delivers every nuance, while Seligman's use of focus and lenses enhances what Sennott is delivering, really capturing the mental breakdown she's going through. What a debut.

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I was browsing cable (yeah, yeah) one day and I stopped on a channel, utterly perplexed by what I saw. Big expensive sets of alien landscapes, gorgeously lit, with men in sci-fi spacesuits...this wasn't some low budget B-movie from the 50's or 60's that of course I've never heard of if it wasn't MST3K fodder, no, this was a beautiful technicolor (sorry "dynamation") production that clearly had some coin behind it. So what was it and why had I never see it before? Turns out it was the 1964 adaptation of H.G. Wells' First Men in the Moon, a film for all my years of nerditry, I'd never, ever heard of.

I say this so confidently, but it's probably more a case of "if I ever had heard of it, it clearly didn't make an impression")

Released 5 years before man would actually land on the moon, the film begins with the first moon landing, a laughably cooperative effort between the U.S., Russia and Great Britain. It's quite the slog of an opening sequence before we actually get to the men on the moon, pretending to be all realistic but comes off as unnecessary filler. Once we see the shuttle descend towards the moon, a not-too-shabby effect for '64, and then the really nifty space suits in action, it definitely picks up. Until one of the astronauts finds, of all things, a ratty old Union Jack flag and a degraded note sitting on a rock. 

The note claims the moon in honor of her Majesty Queen Victoria but written on the back of a court summons. A curious mystery that leads to a ground pursuit for the name on the summons, that leads to a kooky old man in a care home. He then tells the story of how he wound up as one of the first men on the moon...in 1899!

We flashback to rural England, where flim-flam artist Arnold Bedford is hiding out from his creditors. His American fiancee, Katherine Callendar, has come to join him, unaware of his tumultuous financial position. They become entangled in a real estate scheme with their neighbour, Joseph Cavor, a mad-scientist of the Doc Brown persuasion. He's invented a solution called Cavorite, that, when applied to an object, and hardens, it eliminates all mass from the object.  It makes no scientific sense, but it's the conceit of the story so we just go with it. Cavor's whole goal is to take a trip to the Moon, and Bedford wants in on the product for commercial gain... the trip to the moon will be the ultimate selling point. As their preparing to leave, Bedford's creditor's show up, and an incensed Katherine goes to confront him, only to be pulled into their vessel on their mission.

The trip to the moon is riddled with scientific inaccuracies, but for a tale written before aeroplanes were even a thing, there's a lot of good guesses to the science needed behind such a journey. Once they get to the moon, though, it's a whole other story. For example, they're using deep-sea diving suits, but gloveless so their hands are fully exposed. 

On the moon, they encounter an alien race of bug-people who, despite Cavor's insistence on peace, Bedford can't help but just keep killing. The film waffles between both men's perspectives of these aliens they encounter. Cavor's scientific curiosity leads him to extend his best graces to this unknown civilization (who have the technology to adapt to communicating in a shared language). Bedford just sees the unfamiliar-as-enemy and can't help but kill and keep killing, and wanting nothing more than escape and their complete destruction.  

As a viewer, I really wanted the Star Trek solution here, the diplomatic pursuit of peace and sharing of culture, and Cavor is the vessel for that desire. But the film seems to settle much more into Bedford's panic, and we never escape the fact that Bedford can only see them as a threat. It's so ugly and colonial. Katherine, for her part, doesn't seem to give a shit either way and just wants to go home. She wasn't wanting to be on this journey to begin with.

Cavor stays behind, but send Bedford and Katherine on their way, to which we return to "present day" where Bedford warns of the threat the astronauts currently on the moon will face. They turn the TV on to discover the astronauts have found the insects' lair, but it's abandoned and crumbling. Turns out Cavor's germs killed them all years ago. It's unclear if this Twilight Zone-wannabe ending is supposed to be a happy or sad ending.

As I said, it's a pretty posh production that features stupendous Ray Harryhousen effects, so it's really easy on the eyes. The story, as sci-fi, is very rudimentary but then it is based on a story decades old by that point. It's got tinges of modern science fiction of the time, again Twilight Zone, Star Trek, Doctor Who and Quatermass (the latter also a creation of this film's screenwriter Nigel Kneale), but it's holding fairly true to the tepid structure and plot of sci-fi from a more naive time. It's also going for the uniquely British 60's styled fantasty-adventure romp that dials up the slapstick and pithiness (especially in Caver) to a nearly unpalatable degree. 

I also have to admit the viewing experience was not served well by the lengthy commercial breaks that interrupted it every 25 minutes or so

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I had heard of Rolling Thunder back in the '90's when I went gaga over Pulp Fiction and was consuming every Quentin Tarantino article and interview I could find. Tarantino has mentioned it was a favourite, if not the favourite film of his. I had just assumed, for years, given his predilection towards Grindhouse, that it was, like, a trucker revenge fantasy maybe by a quality director but from their early days working for Roger Corman...or something like that. It wasn't the most readily available film at the time, and it somehow never made my "to watch" list (or if it did, it was a list from many generations of lists ago).

My expectations and what Rolling Thunder actually is were two very different things. From the description on Amazon Prime, my expectations were immediately readjusted to it being what Tarantino calls a "revengeamatic" - those 70's-era films of a man or woman wronged and the great lengths they go to get revenge that seem to all hit the same consistent story beats. So, when I hit play I was now expecting a heightened pulpy, gritty, film with actors. making. choices. I still was so far off.

For 90 percent of Rolling Thunder we get an incredibly sensitive portrayal of post-Vietnam veterans, in this case late-stage released prisoners of war, returning home and finding a world that is both unfamiliar to them and to find they are emotionally unequipped to engage with it.

The film opens at a San Antonio airstrip with a vast welcome party waiting for Major Charles Rane (William Devane, Payback) and other POWs while plane is making its descent, over which Charlie Pride's "Is Anybody Going to San Antone" plays. Charles is greeted by his wife, and the son he's not seen in 7 years since he was a baby. His wife admits she's been with another man, a policeman she's now in love with, and Charle's son admits he doesn't remember him at all.  Charles has a therapist and is coping with this world that's changed since he's been away, but he's numb inside.  He's been gifted all sorts of presents, including a gorgeous red convertible Cadillac, and 2,555 silver dollars (one for every day he was a prisoner), and he's garnered the affection of a local taven waitress who calls herself a Major Rane groupie.

Half the film is just Charles' sense of reality, his trying and having extreme difficulty connecting with others. Only his groupie, Linda (Linda Haynes), doesn't seem to mind but also Charles isn't really ready for what she's serving. All these performances are remarkably restrained, and honest. These feel like people and not caricatures. They have adult conversations and don't avoid difficult subject matter, which, as a result, takes all the usual dramatic stakes right off the table. Charles being cuckolded isn't even a thing. He gets it, and he doesn't care, so long as his kid is getting treated well in it all.

But some goons come looking for the silver dollar collection they saw in the news. They think they can beat and torture Charles for the collection's whereabouts, not realizing that Charles. has some incredible coping mechanisms for dealing with such things after 7 years as a POW. Even when they stick his hand in the garbage disposal, he doesn't crack. It's only when his wife and son return home, that the men have leverage, and the kid gives up the coins. They are all then shot, and only Charles survives.

He has extensive rehab and extensive questioning from the police (especially his wife's fiancee), and he gets closer to Linda (or, at least, she gets closer to him). He's still mostly dead inside, but there's a little fire burning. Where most films would move into the obvious revenge plot, the stalking and killing of the individual goons, Paul Schrader's script for Rolling Thunder doesn't work that way. It's not in any way a revengeamatic, it refuses to follow the flow. Charles prepares his cache of weapons, sharpens his hook hand, collects Linda (who at times seems to get Charles' mission, but has trouble staying on board) and heads south to track down the men that murdered his son. It goes pretty awry, and Charles has to recalibrate.

In the end he ditches Linda from his mission, recruiting his POW comrade (Tommy Lee Jones, U.S. Marshals) and they plan a sneak attack at a brothel (in a scene Schrader repeats, though a different impetus, in Taxi Driver) that goes about as expected. It's neither clean, nor heroic. It's not to be celebrated, it's just what a broken man with the help of a broken friend feel is all they can do in this world.

There is an uncomfortable anti-Mexican undercurrent to the final act, only really palpable in the way the film thinks these white American men should just be able to walk into Mexican spaces and have a right to do whatever they want in them. The bad guys are a mix of Americans and Mexicans, the worst of which are the white men, so it's not framed in any way as an anti-Mexican picture.  It does seem unintentional, but just a product of the superior-by-default whiteness that has dominated pop culture in North America for centuries. It doesn't spoil the film overall, as its character focus is tremendously compelling, plus I find it fascinating that even before the revengeamatic was in full swing there was already a film that was a subversion of it.

Pairs well with First Blood?

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Real badge
Real gun
Fake cop
Bad poster
I don't remember in what context Miami Blues was recommended as an underrated, maybe even forgotten picture, but worthy of reassessment, but it's been on my radar for the past few months.

It was probably the Blank Check Podcast episode on The Hunt for Red October talking about Alec Baldwin's career...but don't quote me on it.

It is a very brightly lit, 90's pastel-soaked production that looks like a comedy but has a deep dark heart. We meet handsome, shifty grifter "Junior" (Baldwin, Match Game) on an airplane to Miami. Within seconds of landing, he's stolen a suitcase and broken the finger of a Hare Krishna...unknown to Junior, the shock of which kills the young man.

Junior arrives at a hotel where he has a contact, and has her send a girl up to his room. So arrives Susie (Jennifer Jason Leigh, eXistenZ), a perky, naive (but not unintelligent) college student, who is there for sex work, but Junior is basically there to scam. He seems to take a shining to her, but it's evident Junior can't ever get his brain out of grifter-mode to fully understand emotions. They do start a relationship but one in which Junior is in full control. He's not physically abusive, but he is fully manipulative and doesn't care an ounce about what Susie thinks about anything or her aspirations.

Detective Sergeant Moseley (Fred Ward, Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins) is on the case of the dead Hare Krishna, and in tracing witnesses finds Junior (under whatever stolen ID he was using at the time) and Susie. He winds up at their apartment and shares dinner with them. It's an amazing cat-and-mouse scene of Moseley picking up on Junior's habits, analyzing them very vocally and Junior having to quick-think his way into explanations (Junior eats the meal with his shirt off, the combo of Baldwin's incredible pelt of chest hair and food making me feel very uncomfortable). It's clear to Junior that Moseley has his suspicions so he later finds Moseley's apartment, sneak attacks him, beats him half to death, and steals his badge and his false teeth. 

Then Junior starts parading around town as a fake cop, interrupting crimes in process, only to finish the crimes off himself. It's a rampage that has not gone unnoticed by the police, and Moseley, still recuperating, is obviously very invested in resolving.

The tone of this film is the hardest part to glom onto. Junior is a horrible, horrible person, but it's a film that's daring us to like him. We've seen plenty of anti-heroes over the years, but director Armitage never commits to the label. If anything as we get to know Susie we become more keenly aware of how much of a villain Junior really is. There's no high drama, no pulse-pounding suspense, no over-the-top action, but it's a comedically punched-up story of a sociopath and the cop and young woman both in over her head with him. I think I like this film more in retrospect than I did watching it, and now I think I'll need to go back to it sometime, there were some really, really great lines that I need to pin down.

I just realized, at the very end of this review, that this reminds me sort of a Coen Bros. movie. I wonder if Armitage was riffing off of Raising Arizona when he was making this. It shares vibes with the Coens' crime comedies, but it's not stitching along the same seams.  I would almost say it pairs better with American Psycho, but I'm two decades removed from viewing ol Patrick Bateman so I can't fully say.



Saturday, June 22, 2024

3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): Under Paris

2024, Xavier Gens (The Divide) -- Netflix

Originally Sous la Seine which makes more sense. Not much of the rest of the movie did, but that did.

And yet, I say, "This was an awesome movie." If you like the venn diagram of monster (shark) and disaster (shark attack in an unexpected area) movies, that is. If you prefer your movies to have logical conclusions based on science and fact, this is not for you.

No no no, you get me wrong. It was not in the utterly ludicrous vein of Sharknado, but, stick with me, I have a point -- if Asylum is better known for doing unbelievably bad mockbusters, oft picked up by my brother in the VHS store near our childhood home, but also did these outrageously weird & bad monster/disaster/mashup movies, then its conceivable someone would do a "better movie" (debatable) in the same ilk of those outrageous ones. This was a well-done movie, and I have seen a handful of Gens previous works; he knows how to construct a proper movie. But it was not a good movie.

Shark Researcher Sophia Assalas (Bérénice Bejo, Final Cut) and her team, including her husband, are following the shark they tagged & named Lilith to the great Pacific garbage patch -- which is real, but is not the thing of pop culture depictions, i.e. its not an island of discarded plastic. In fact, they say it would be hard to notice if you drove a boat through it, but as a concentration of plastic in an area, its still a horrible thing. Anywayz, pop culture depiction intact, the divers are under it when Lilith arrives. She's not a happy shark, and she betrays all the behavioural science these researchers know, and eats them all. Except Sophia who is on the boat.

Years later, Paris. Traumatized Assalas works at an aquarium and is approached by an eco-activist Mika (Léa Léviant, Mortel) who says she has tracked the shark Lilith to Paris. The tag is still active. She and her group want to find Lilith and guide her back to the ocean before others find and kill her. Too late!! She eats some homeless men who live on an island in the Seine, but not their puppy. Time for the river police to do something about this evil shark!

The problem is that the mayor of Paris has a world acclaimed triathlon event going on. She has sunk millions into cleaning up the horribly polluted river, and the eyes of the world are on her city. She's not going to let the idea of one silly shark swimming around in Paris kibosh her event. She sends her river police to find and kill the shark. But quietly. 

Of note, this idea of swimming in the Seine is one ripped from the 2024 Olympics news. No sharks though. That we know of.

They track the shark to the flooded catacombs parallel to the Seine. Apparently there are all sorts of deep, abandoned tunnels down there, flooded. Considering there is a lock system on the Seine, to get to Paris, and issues with flooding during high water seasons, there must be some centuries long rising of he water levels in the city kept back by delicate infrastructure? That plays a part later in the movie. But either way, flooded catacombs deep and hidden enough to hide an angry shark and her ... nursery!! 

The deep water spot under the city where the shark is hiding has become the convergence point of eco-activist Mika's group. They have noise machines that will attract the shark, and then they will guide her out of the city via ... I don't know, good will? No matter, Mika gets eaten as all foolish people in natural monster movies do, and in their panic, half her fellow eco-activists fall into the water, and get eaten. Also, there seems to be more  than Lilith in the water. We are no longer dealing with "the shark".

But the "a bunch of kids, and a cop, got eaten" story pisses off the mayor so she buries it, brings in the army (navy?) and tells the river police, and Assalas to bugger off. Instead they convince some demolition experts to help them, the same guys we saw taking care of some WWII ordnance found in the Seine in an earlier mostly toss away scene. Remember the idea that there are hundreds of live shells in the muds of the Seine. The combined force of river police go diving, intending on blowing up Lilith's nursery and sealing her from returning to the Seine.

It is at this point that the idea of a pregnant shark might bring up questions. So, we get a brief pause while Assalas discovers the sharks are parthenogenic, i.e. they don't need a daddy shark and a mommy shark to breed. And there are hundreds of "born pregnant" sharks already swimming around in the nursery. If they get into the Seine, and from there, The World, things could get very very bad.

The bombing does not go well. The sharks escape. The cops all get eaten, except for Assalas and cute river policeman Adil (Nassim Lyes, A Bookshop in Paris). The sharks are in the Seine! The swimmers are in the Seine! The military is in the Seine! Scream scream, munch munch, screaaaaaaam, ratta tat tat tat. Pure monster movie action, chaos and panic. "Wait, don't use heavy weaponry, it might trigger the old ord....."

BOOM.

All the old WWII shells explode in tandem, destroying all those beautiful bridges over the Seine, including that one with all the love locks, and .... somehow causes the city to flood? While I did mention locks and seasonal flooding, I am still not sure where all that water came from to flood the city, but it all seems an excuse to show one cool scene where the Paris Métro stop is flooded, with sharks swimming around. I think that was a meme? 

But but BUT that is not the big thing about the movie. The movie ends with everything having gone wrong, and gone even worse, but also with closing credits showing the spread of these sharks, that reproduce really really fast and are not bothered by the pesky fresh water of inner continental water systems. Basically they reach any water system that is connected to an ocean. 

Welcome to Shark World.

I so loved this movie. The acting and pacing and all the elements of movie making were all rather solid considering that completely bonkers plot. I would so love to see two sequels, done in the style of The Strain, where the first movie is the creation of the problem, the second movie is the world trying to deal with the problem, and failing, and the final movie being ages later, post-apocalyptic, a sort of Water World but with sharks filling the oceans.

Friday, June 21, 2024

3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): Lisa Frankenstein

2024, Zelda Williams (Kappa Kappa Die) -- download

For much of this movie, I was thinking, often out loud to the screen (yes, I am that old now), "Is this movie really this bad?!?!" There are just so many moments where I wanted to cringe for the actors eliciting their lines, and the director for choosing to depict that on screen, and for Diablo Cody actually writing that in the script. And yet, we persevered and came out the other side, and a part of my lizard brain cannot help but keep thinking about the movie. Which is something.

Lisa Swallows (an unfortunate name for a high school kid; Kathryn Newton, The Map of Tiny Perfect Things) mom was killed by an axe murderer. That has very little to do with the movie. Two years later her dad is married to a Karen named Janet (Carla Gugino, San Andreas) and Lisa has a popular cheerleader step-sister named Taffy (Liza Soberano, Bagani). Except Taffy is not an evil step-sister, and you keep on waiting for the veil to lift, but it never does. It is the best part about the movie, in that her vacuous but sweet & truly caring nature is genuine. Lisa is the weird step sister, picked on at school, dorky in nature, hanging out in the graveyard (of bachelors; yes the graveyard only has men who died wife-less) and pining for the lit club president. She also proclaims undying love to a gravestone. And then on a fateful night, for no reason at all, there is green lightning and it raises one of the dead bachelors. He shambles off to find Lisa, who professed love to him. Afterall, he died a bachelor. 

Lisa hides him in her closet, all rotting corpse-fied, sprouting bugs and worms. He dotes on her, in his own rotting, mute (no tongue), smelly way and even gives her some fashion tips. Thus Lisa starts becoming a confident, one might say asshole, goth. Lisa's (truly) evil step-mother is saying truly evil things to Lisa and corpse-bachelor (Cole Sprouse, Riverdale) has had enough -- he clonks Janet on the head. Dead Janet. Lisa is not all that bothered by it, and since Janet is dead, she can give up a hand. Thus Lisa discovers that if she attaches a fresh limb to corpse-bachelor (no, he never gets a name ala "Frankenstein") and zaps him in her sister's defective tanning bed, the limb becomes useful. One new, well manicured hand. 

Now, Janet was going to a convention, so nobody immediately misses her, but eventually they realize she is truly missing. Taffy is heart broken -- its her mom after all. Lisa's dad focuses on supporting his daughters. Lisa is becoming more and more amoral about the whole thing. And thaaaat is how the movie goes. Kill a groping, rumour spreading classmate, get an ear. Find out Taffy is sleeping with the lit club president, who Lisa never actually pursued, get a ... cough ... dick. It is that final act that reveals Lisa has lost it. The police are on her trail, Taffy and Dad (Joe Chrest, Stranger Things) know she is a murderer with a weird corpse-fied boyfriend. So, Lisa takes the last recourse --- dies in the defective tanning bed.

Epilogue. Lisa is now a walking corpse and the two undead can walk off into the sunset together. How romantic.

It was a weird, weird movie. Its not the first time Diablo Cody has written us into rooting for the murderous high school girl. But Zelda's desire to be "the next Tim Burton" (I doubt that was actually her intent, but you can see it there, in droves, even if it was only Purple Suit meddling) washes the movie with bright colours, weird characters and melodramatic flairs aplenty. I wavered constantly between this being intent (Kent's comment about intent of creators constantly haunts me) or just clumsy delivery. Despite my initial cringing, I actually found myself enjoying (that may be too strong a word) or at least intrigued enough to see it through.

You watch a lot of toss-away movies. For example, this one from the archives, "The Brass Teapot". Maybe MOST movies are toss away movies? But what about these inbetweeners, not good or memorable enough to end up on a streaming service backlog, but also not terrible enough to end up sold for pennies to Tubi.

Thursday, June 20, 2024

Watching: Star Trek: Discovery S5

2024, download

OMG Kent, remember when you said, "I freaking love Star Trek Discovery. Unabashedly."

What 100. Season 5, the final season of Discovery. Book (David Ajala, Jupiter Ascending) and Burnham (Sonequa Martin-Green. The Walking Dead) are still butthurt over Book's betrayal in season four. But they have to work together because a pair of couriers, which Book used to be, stole something that David Cronenburg wants. Turns out its something that leads to the Progenitor's technology, those godlike aliens from ST:tNG who created all humanoid life in the universe. The Discovery is sent on a multi-part McGuffin hunt to get the tech before the Breen do. The Breen are the ultra-scary, mysterious Bad Guys of the 32nd century's Star Trek. I was very bored.

1 - Great. This one is tough. I cannot answer "nothing" so I will have to say I loved Rayner (Calum Keith Rennie, Longmire) -- a cantankerous, crabby but dedicated Number One to Captain Burnham. He is assigned this duty cuz he's an arrogant fuckup in the first episode, and because Saru (Doug Jones, The Strain) is now a fulltime ambassador. This is punishment to Rayner, which it most definitely is, so he has to learn from Burnham and crew, how to be a good team player.

2 - Good. That the show is ending? Its about time. I am not sure how or why, but it seemed to run out of emotional energy somewhere around the end of season three leading into four. I had hoped the retrofit of the Roddenberry plotline used for Andromeda would inspire a whole new world of story telling, but ... yawn. I did thoroughly enjoy the playful nature of Mol (Eve Harlow, The Night Agent) and L'ak (Elias Toufexis, The Expanse), the couriers they are chasing all over the place but the season barely kept my attention.

3 - Bad.  This totally checked out season confirmed my opinions of previous seasons. It just felt entirely disinterested in the show. It could have gone out with a huge bang, toss caution to the warp stream but it played safe & boring & distracted. I mean, a major plotline was Saru planning his nuptials. I mean, two of my favourite characters, Detmer (Emily Coutts, Crimson Peak) and Owosekun (Oyin Oladejo, Endlings) were absent most of the season. Tilly (Mary Wiseman, Longmire) was still around but I found her much diminished from who I enjoyed so much in the earlier seasons. It was supposed to be a love note to all these characters we came to enjoy, but it all felt like a grand disservice to everyone involved. And reading/watching any of the promotional material around the season just makes me furious.

Yeah ! YEAH ! Its like they did even watch the show!

I almost included the retcon of "Calypso", which was tagged onto the end of the final episode, in the Good but then I realized they literally just tweaked a few things but didn't explain a fucking thing, gave no reason but for time-fuckery. Sure, pandering nods are fun but...

Anywayz, up next will be whatever bastardization they do with Star Trek: Section 31 which is already switched from a series to a TV movie.

Wednesday, June 19, 2024

3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): The Last Duel

2021, Ridley Scott (Black Hawk Down) -- Disney

Kent's post

Rashomon this, Rashomon that. A story about a rape, from three people, three perspectives, three "truths" but are we supposed to decide on which truth we will accept, which one is true? No, we are not. There is some truth in every tale, even the lies.

France, the Middle Ages. The first perspective is from Jean de Carrouges (Matt Damon, Dogma), a squire and a minor nobleman's son, is a soldier at the Siege of Limoges where he baited by the English into giving up the bridge, which leads to the fall of Limoges. But in that battle he saves the life of handsome Jacques le Gris (Adam Driver, Girls), and the two become fast friends.

Carrouges is a lug, all mullet and scars. He is a widower and childless, encouraged to (re)marry Marguerite (Jodie Comer, Free Guy), the daughter of a disgraced nobleman in exchange for a hefty dowry, for he is almost broke. He's shit with money. But a valuable tract of land is given by their liege lord Count Pierre d'Alençon (Ben Affleck, Dogma) to le Gris, cuz the two decadent men are friends. Carrouges is furious and thinks it best to go over Pierre's head to the King. It is not best and Carrouges is disgraced. When Carrouges' father passes away, and he should take ownership of his castle and captaincy, the slighted Pierre gives it to le Gris instead.

And age later a much diminished Carrouges buries the hatchet at a social event, in which le Gris becomes obsessed with Marguerite, and even later, while Carrouges is off fighting another war for his King, the only manner he seems able to make money, le Gris visits his estate and... well, rapes Marguerite. When her husband returns, she accuses le Gris and her husband believes her, and he pursues what he believes is his only recourse, a duel to the death. If he wins, and kills le Gris, then his wife is deemed believable. If he dies at the hands of le Gris, she will also perish by fire, as a liar.

Jean de Carrouges wins the duel. But given the perspectives, its not really the point of the movie.

Surprisingly, none of the recountings discredit the others. They all tell the exact same story, albeit with different focuses. Jean sees himself as a slighted hero, only trying to do right in the face of many, many injustices, the rape of his wife being the latest. Le Gris eye rolls his way through his own version, pointing out how Carrouges is the agent of his own folly, and professing great love for Marguerite, claiming she returned it. But he also points out that there is no real crime in raping a woman, which was true for the times. Marguerite's retelling is, of course, the most sympathetic, a smart, capable woman forced to marry a stupid lout and suffer the "affections" of an arrogant squire. She does not support Carrouges desire to duel, for she knows should he lose, she will die and her son will be orphaned. Its all so rather complicated, a story further complicated by the reality of an age past compared to our own 21st century morals.

There may be three "truths" but there is no doubt that Marguerite was raped. The greatest tragedy is that she is not the arbiter of her own justice, and she has no rights. Its the men, the pompous, arrogant, foolish men who are slighted by her rape. 

Being a Ridley Scott movie, it looks spectacular even if you forgive the astoundingly bad haircut given to Counter Pierre. As we are wont to do, the Middle Ages are always seen as cold, gloomy and full of mud. The battle scenes, while not really required for the story we are telling, are brutal, bloody and vast in scale -- Scott loves his battle scenes. 

I also need to address my comment back when Kent posted his viewing of it --- I was annoyed that here we have yet another movie hinging on the rape of a woman, where the actions of men are built on abusing a woman. That is not in doubt here, but the difference here from my dislike of this usual "plot motivator" is that its not the toss away point, its the entire focus of the movie, its the reason for its being. Usually in movies like these, all other aspects would show the men as great and heroic and "OMG I have to duel to save my wife's honour!" but even if you take Carrouges own coloured viewpoint at face value, its never really about anything but his wife.

Tuesday, June 18, 2024

KWIF: TÁR (+5)

KWIF is Kent's Week in Film where each week Kent has a spotlight movie in which he writes a longer, thinkier piece about, and then whatever else he watched that week, he attempts a quick wee summary of his thoughts.

This Week:
TÁR (2022, d. Todd Field - Crave)
Love Lies Bleeding (2024, d. Rose Glass - rental)
The Mechanic (1972, d. John Boorman - AmazonPrime)
The Breaker Upperers (2018, d. Jackie van Beek and Madeline Sami -  Netflix)
Jim Henson: Idea Man (2024, d. Ron Howard - Disney+)
Cyborg (1989, d. Albert Pyun - DVD)

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A few years back, while shooting Nightmare Alley, Cate Blanchett was renting a house in close proximity to my neighborhood. It meant that at any time I might be out walking the dog, and *BAM* I just run into Cate Blanchett. It sent cold shivers up my spine and riddled me with discomfiting anxiety. I just know I would get mush-mouthed, say something really dumb, and then have my knees buckle underneath me as I lay on the ground in a pool of my own drool while my dog would probably just lay down in proximity to me as she would think "this is what we're doing now." And then for weeks, or months, or the rest of my life I would have a surge of red-faced embarrassment and cold panic sweats every time I thought about it, which would be all. the. time.

Toasty's usually the one to talk about his anxieties in a review, and then have an inner monologue in italicized font, but yeah, there's a reason we're friends, as our stupid brains act so similarly stupid.

We shouldn't idolize people, full stop, but when we're in awe of someone for their talent, their looks, and/or their charisma, it's hard not to let a little worship slip into one's thought process. So that anxiety that I was feeling, that fear of embarrassing myself in front of Cate Blanchett, I thought came from a place of great admiration. It's true, I admire her very much. But I actually went down the list of Cate Blanchett films I had seen and, somehow, that list almost all leaned into the nerdier spectrum of her output (Lord of the Rings, Indiana Jones, Hannah, Life Aquatic, Benjamin Button).

So, if I was that worked up about running into the woman, what was it I greatly admired her for? I mean, I think of her entire resume like, Thor:Ragnarok probably ranks as more of a lark for her than one of her proudest moments, right? I tried to think of a movie that she starred in that I saw just for her, and I could not think of one. Almost every film I had seen her in was a byproduct of her being in a property or working with a director I already liked. No Elizabeth, no Carol, no Veronica Guerin, no Blue Jasmine....

...well, okay, no Blue Jasmine makes sense.

But right now, I'm perusing Blanchett's filmography and it's startling how few films Blanchett has been the legit star of. She's an immaculate supporting player or co-lead, elevating everything she is in and rarely getting the glory for it. Given her undeniable talent, it's legitimately ridiculous how few films she's been the only face on the poster.

When Tár came out it was an absolute critical darling, and seemed to be all over the podcasts I was listening to, praising Blanchett for her best work yet in a career of little but great work. Lydia Tár even became a regular punchline (not the but of the joke but the a referential joke for those in the know, as if Tár were a real public figure). I don't know why I didn't see Tár in theatres, if only to be part of the conversation, but once the sensation of Tár passed, it fell down my "to watch list".

Ok Kent, enough setup. You want to see more Cate Blanchett movies, so you watched a Cate Blanchett movie. Now tell us about the movie.

Like this post, Tár has a very long, ponderous, pretentious even opening act, about 40 minutes or so of this 158 minute film. In fact, it virtually opens with its closing credits in the tiniest font that almost seems a lampoon of the "you should have seen this blockbuster in theatres" regret.  Yes, for those first 40 minutes, we get a lot of talk about classical music orchestration and conducting, first as an magazine interview in front of a live audience, and then as Tár guest lectures at some university or conservatory.  

If it sounds off-putting, I won't say that it isn't, but it's also not as repulsive as it might sound. In a strange way, it's all done very inside baseball, so as a viewer, if you're not in the know (like me) you're on the outside looking in and striving to pick up as much meaning out of it as you can. All this pretentious patter and audience serves a purpose. Lydia is a horribly pretentious person, and is so goddamn full of herself and her status that she obsessively sanitizes herself after interacting with anyone outside her sphere, as if they're a taint and make her unclean.

The gist of Tár is somewhat of a me too story, a reckoning for the "elite" that think themselves untouchable and unimpeachable just because they have a certain status in one sphere of society, and think they don't have to contend with nay sayers or anyone who doesn't give a shit about their vocation.

Lydia has been stringing her assistant along for years (are they/were they involved?) with promises of advancement. Typical grooming shit. Lydia has another former "protege" that not only has she cut loose but actively has kept her from getting any work in the field. She circles, like a hawk, fresh meat in her orchestra, even while her longtime partner watches. Lydia is smart enough, loquacious enough, erudite enough that she can reduce almost any counter-argument to "fuck you you bitch", a retort she smugly acknowledges as defeat. She's a predator, and Blanchett is utterly compelling, and at times freaking scary without ever raising her voice or making a threatening motion.  Blanchett plays Tár's as impervious to reality until she can no longer ignore it. Her Tár navigates an existence that she has crafted around herself to protect her, she's manufactured an identity that doesn't feel anything but self-satisfaction. But it is an identity that is definitely guarding something, and Blanchett straddles the line about whether that guard is holding something in or keeping something out. 

Writer-director Field approaches his subject with the same fascination as a nature documentary. We're watching the alpha groomer in her natural habitat of environments that look the other way as they stand to benefit from her brilliance. Maybe certain audience members were utterly bemused by the opening acts of Lydia's pretentious ponderings on conducting and composition (it's deep in the weeds nerdy shit for classical nerds, so I shouldn't denigrate it, given how deep in the weeds I get on my own nerd shit) but what is hidden in those conversations is that Lydia, as much of a predator as she is, is also a victim of the patriarchy.

Lydia dismisses conversations around "female conductors" citing plenty of others (which I think runs like 5 or 6 and I wouldn't be surprised to find was a fairly exhaustive list of the most prominent names) and meritocracy. Lydia dismisses a student's objections to caring about the compositions of long-dead, straight, white, problematic men, the artist can affect how one responds to the art after all, but she excuses away any legitimate criticisms, and decimates the poor student that his "woke" attitude will limit him in his aspirations (as if there's no place for conscience in art... but Lydia mistakes the capitalistic structures she benefits from for artistic ones).

The clearest example of Tár's unconscious embrace of the patriarchy is how she models herself on her mentors, and her idols. Throuhgout the movie, when Lydia needs to have a promotional photo or album cover done, she goes to great lengths to recreate the wardrobe and poses of male conductors. 

I won't lieTár is a long, and frequently uncomfortable movie. She is not an anti-hero, she is the villain of the piece, and it's a slow burn in revealing it all, until it finally explodes. But Field isn't satisfied for Tár's chickens to come home to roost, he also needs to show what happens when the mighty fall. Blanchett's performance of a humbled Lydia, her roots showing, and what extremes she has to go to in order to get even a tiny fraction of the glory and self-satisfaction she once took for granted...well, the ironing is delicious.

I don't have a place to talk about the truly bizarre closing credits music - yes, even though the credits run in the initial minutes of the film, there are still closing credits for the cast.  After an entire film devoted to classical and neo-classical music, the end credits have a heavy techno thump which made me think we were watching Letterkenny credits or something.

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The trailer for Love Lies Bleeding promised 80's tinged, neon-drenched, lesbian bodybuilders doing a murder or two with quasi-revenge thriller vibes. Um, yep it delivers on all fronts.

The plot finds Jackie (Katy O'Brien, The Mandalorian), a down-but-not-out female bodybuilder hitchhiking her way from Oklahoma to get to Vegas for a competition. She immediately gets entangled with the family of gym manager Lou (Kristen Stewart, Panic Room), first with Lou's slimy, abusive brother-in-law JJ (Dave Franco, The Afterparty Season 1) who gets her a job at the gun range Lou's estranged dad, Lou Sr. (Ed Harris) owns and also runs his illicit gun-smuggling operation out of... and then Jackie falls into a torrid romantic entanglement with Lou herself. 

When JJ beats Lou's sister half to death, Lou is so enraged she's ready to kill JJ but Lou Sr. talks her down. Jackie, having been fed a steady diet of steroids by Lou in prep for the Vegas competition, experiences serious roid rage and takes matters into her own hands. Things only get more complicated from there.

The film never questions whether JJ, a supreme piece of shit, was worthy of his fate, but whether there's justification in the increasingly extreme acts required to cover it up. This is, in its end, a love story, a very dark, albeit exciting, one about two women with pasts they can't seem to face on their own, but could perhaps together if they can only learn to trust what they're feeling.

Love Lies Bleeding is a very bold, stylized dramatic crime thriller that is inspired by the films of the era it's replicating, but with a vastly different vantage point than we'd see in such films from that time. It takes a very specific, bold visual swing in the climax of the film which very much fit the vibe, but may challenge many. For me it was actually the coda that followed the bold swing which felt unnecessary, except to say that the path these two women are on is probably only going to get darker.

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After watching Hit Man the week prior, I had hitmen on the brain, and, well, this cult-classic of the subgenre on my list. The Mechanic stars Charles Bronson at the height of his powers as a contract killer mainly doing work for an international criminal syndicate. 

The opening sequence of The Mechanic runs a wordless 15 minutes in length as it takes us through Arthur Bishop's (Bronson) meticulous process for killing his target. It's both puzzling and riveting filmmaking that ends with a spectacular bang.  It is also, without a doubt, the inspiration for the opening sequence of David Fincher's The Killer.  Both are equally excellent in their own respective way.

From there Arthur meets up with what appears to be his girlfriend but turns out to be a sex worker he sees, and role plays with on an irregular basis. Everything with Arthur is transaction. He's approached by a member of the syndicate, "Big Harry", who seems to be at odds with the rest of the organization. Harry would like Arthur's help in smoothing things over, unaware that Arthur has been given his contract.

After Harry is terminated, Arthur has an exchange with Harry's son, Steve (Jan Michael Vincent, Airwolf) who seems to have an interest and aptitude for Arthur's profession, so he take him on as a protege.  In an early outing Steve loses the advantage on a target, leading to Arthur giving chase on dirt bikes through the hills and back yards of elite L.A.  This was later taken by Bill Hader as inspiration for a similar L.A.-based dirt bike sequence in Barry Season 3. Again, both are equally great in their own way.

There's an inevitability to The Mechanic that mutes the journey somewhat. I've seen enough of this sort of thing to know where it's going. It could be the first, but it won't be the last. The film is also diminished by its lack of characterization for Arthur. It gives him the stoic rebel treatment, a man of skill but also luxury, and a man alone. Bronson was never really known as an emotive actor so there's no emotional component to his playing the role. Was taking Steve on a product of guilt or loneliness? I'm not even sure Brosnan knows, and he certainly ain't telling.

One other detraction, there's use of post-Woodstock hippie lingo that not only feels high camp but at this stage is somewhat indecipherable. I really didn't like it, and it kept coming up...even from Bronson!  Even still, just to see the origins of the subgenre made it very worthwhile.

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We originally watched The Breaker Upperers shortly after its debut on Netflix in 2018 (the dark year). It was recommended by some website or reviewer I followed and we were very entertained. I wrote a brief summary of my feelings on Letterboxd (as was the style at the time):

New Zealand comedy gets me. Love it. I also love a best friend romcom (you know, where it's about the deep rooted platonic love of best friends... we used to call these bromances or chick flicks but they've transcended those problematic classifications into an integral part of the romcom genre). This one is going to get played again and again. It's self aware, it's woke and it's frigging hilarious. It may not be the tightest of executions story-wise but it's never not fun.

Ugh, I hate that I used the word "woke" now. As usual, the man-baby clowns on the internet (and off) ruin everything, including words.

When we first watched it, we only knew a face or two in the production, probably from Taika Waititi's films. Jemaine Clement puts in a cameo, but otherwise it was just enjoying the delightful pairing of Jackie van Beek and Madeline Sami as best friends who met after fighting over the same guy and 15 years later live together and run a proxy break-up service.

After years of performing the service, the cracks both in the viability of the service and in the friendship start to show. Jen (van Beek) just turned 40, is still single by choice but is having a bit of a crisis. Mel (Sami), meanwhile, is all about avoidance and what feels good now, and what feels good is pursuing the hot (and so dumb...and sooo young) rugby player (played by James Rolleston, the now grown up Boy of Waititi's Boy) who's come into their office to enlist their services in breaking up with his hard-as-nails girlfriend.

But one case, in which they pose as cops to tell a fragile woman about the death of her boyfriend (who really just skipped town) starts to break the friendship bond, as Mel wants to, well, basically provide an aftercare/friendship service and Jen basically wants nothing to do with other people and their emotions at all.  The divide eventually explodes and then its up to Jen to realize her mistakes and profess her undying platonic love for her best friend.

Since the film came out, I've seen a bit more New Zealand-base programming, like Wellington Paranormal and Taskmaster New Zealand, and Sami has become a much-liked performer of ours from Season 1 of TMNZ, Our Flag Means Death and Deadloch, so I thought it worth a revisit.  It remains very fun, and that kiwi vibe is just such a thick and delightful flavour, but on this go around, I found myself wishing for a little more of the conceit, of watching the shenanigans of the business play out, but it's obviously a film more interested in exploring the relationship dynamics, and I'm guessing better for it skewing that way.  With our uptick in Kiwi media exposure there was a lot more familiarity with the performers this time around, which, given how much I enjoyed it the first time around, you don't really need at all.

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I hate writing reviews about documentaries, primarily because I don't watch enough of them to be able to discern good documentary filmmaking from bad. I mean, I've seen great documentary films, and I recognize them as such, but then there's this whole mushy middle ground of biographical documentaries that takes about two hours to cover someone's life and career. Depending on the person, compressing their life into that amount of time just isn't going to do it justice, and if it does do it justice, are they really that interesting a person?

Ron Howard's ode to Jim Henson for Disney is just one of many Henson documentaries that has been made in the past 30 years since the legendary muppeteer and filmmaker passed away.  It's a documentary that involves his children and his Muppet family in the talking heads portions that kind of sticks to a consistent narrative while avoiding almost any drama at all.

What is absolutely clear is Henson was a man driven by creative impulses and a desire to fulfill those impulses, and puppeteering wasn't his original passion, but it just became the vehicle through which he could step up through the world of media and entertainment. He started his career with his girlfriend-then-wife Cheryl, and they started a business together. But once Cheryl started pumping out babies, Henson kind of left her to it, and proceeded forward on a career without her.  

The film very subtly implies that Henson was somewhat of an absentee father and husband, driven by his creativity, but it never dwells on the fact even though it seems to keep coming up without really directly being addressed. That all his children seemed to enter the entertainment field in some respect speaks to their desires to be closer to their father. There is a telling moment where Brian Henson, a bit of a gearhead and electronics whiz, starts working with his father on advanced animatronics, and he says working and playing with Jim as opposed to his father was a completely different experience.

Henson's early career pre-Sesame Street could support a two hour documentary of its own. I managed to catch part of Street Gang: How We Got To Sesame Street documentary a few weeks back and for the 20-25 minutes Idea Man covers that subject, one should really just take a complete 2-hour detour into Street Gang instead. Likewise, the origins and operations and ending (and attempted revivals) of The Muppet Show are pretty glossed over and need more detail.  There's probably a full documentary worth of story behind The Dark Crystal and there's at least a YouTube video essay worth discussing Henson's sale of his business to Disney, plus I would maybe like to see the event that was Henson's funeral in full... in other words, there's so much more to this story.

While yeah, there were the requisite greatest hits moments of Henson's work in the Muppets and Sesame Street that pulls out the feels, and Idea Man does give a good overview of what Henson accomplished in his life and a sense of what was left unfulfilled for him. For as successful as he was, Henson was not a mainstream guy. He was a weirdo, and it was almost a fluke that he managed to turn that weirdo energy into something the public responded to at large, but it was clear from his non-Muppets output that his hippie-jazz sensibilities were a niche product.

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For the longest of times, Jean-Claude Van Damme's second starring feature, Cyborg, was a joke. That tacky-looking videocassette cover seemed to be everywhere, but word of mouth was that it wasn't even a so-bad-it's-good type of movie. When JCVD hit it big in 1990 with the one-two punch (err...roundhouse kick?) of Lionheart and Kickboxer -- which, alongside Bloodsport, might well just be the same movie -- he solidified his on-screen persona, as well as the type of movie he would star in. A low-budget, no-plot, post-apocalyptic wasteland action movie from the dying days of Canon films, at the time seemed like the kind of thing an up-and-coming actor does just to have a gig, and once they get big, are embarrassed by.

But as direly cheap as Albert Pyun's cobbled-together Cyborg is, JCVD actually comes out pretty clean from the affair, and might I actually say, it's a pretty good physical performance. It's not great acting -- nobody's ever asked him for that anyway -- but the man takes his lumps in the picture and it's wonderful to see him "fight wounded". In the 80's and 90's seemed to be stages to an action star's career where they start out as human beings and then wind up as superheroes. The earlier stages, where they are vulnerable, capable of being injured and they carry those wounds with them, oh, those are far more interesting. There's a sequence in this movie where JCVD's character gets to face the wasteland warlord who murdered his surrogate family, but he's already beaten off a half dozen other guys, been on the run for hours, and is just done. He tries his roundhouse kicks which have no power and are just shrugged off by his massive opponent. He's beaten down once more and awakens literally crucified on an inland derelict ship's mast. It's surprising.

Look, don't get me wrong, Cyborg is a bad movie. It's been said that it was cobbled together at the last minute from the remnants of Canon film's cancelled Masters of the Universe sequel and a cancelled Spider-Man film, both of which Pyun was to direct, and it's been said Pyun wrote the script over a weekend to preserve the budget (I didn't fact check that). While I don't see anything recognizably He-Man or Spider-Man about this, I can totally believe the script was tossed off over a weekend. There's not much here.  It's basically Escape from New York meets The Road Warrior, but without really developing a personality for the lead protagonist (named...Gibson Rickenbacker? Seriously? I don't think that was ever said in the film) and with a director whose shooting style can be described as "good enough, moving on".

As abysmal as the first act of this film is (Gibson is paired up with no less than three women in the first 10 minutes of the film, one of them in flashback) the second act is a bit of a corker. What starts off as a heroic journey where Gibson and his female sidekick pursue the big bad wasteland gang rescue a cyborg they've taken hostage...the tables are turned, as the cyborg has Stockholm syndrome and Gibson and friend become the pursued. In a way, Pyun managed to fall into an accidental subversion of the genre that still plays pretty fresh.

The final act seems... far fetched, the timeline of events don't make a lot of sense, and Gibson should still be half dead, not mounting another very physical assault, but the rain-soaked atmosphere (there are some very wet sets on this movie) provides a definite mood for the climactic showdown. 

Canon Films as a label has developed a cult fandom over the past dozen years or so, and so has the late Pyun, whose repertoire I've been poking at (eg. Nemesis, Dollman) and left underwhelmed . I'm not really a connoisseur of trash cinema, but I do so delight when trash accidentally crosses over into something, if not good, then unexpectedly interesting.