2016, James Head (Once Upon a Holiday) -- Amazon/StackTV
When we are making supper or doing other kitchen based tasks, the old reruns of Wipeout are always on. And we watch. I am still torn between which presenter I like better, Vanessa Lachey or Jill Wagner. So yes, Jill Wagner as a lead has some influence on choosing this movie, but ALSO because of my previously commented on desire to see baking influence Hallmarkies. Technically, I hoped for ones with terrible baking sequences, but this one is about a whole town dependent on a cookie factory. So it tracks. That said, I should see what the Vanessa Lachey Hallmarkies are like!
HERstory
Hannah (Jill Wagner, Teen Wolf) lives in the Big City, is dating Dick BF and is working for a Dick Boss who wants her to prove she has passion for her work, by heading to the PST named Cookie Jar, where she will have the owner of the small town cookie factory sign it over to Dick Boss's conglomerate. The crux is that they will shut down the factory and move production to Buffalo. But even Hannah knows that the entire economy of Cookie Jar relies on the factory. But she wants to prove herself, as likely in Hallmarkie Cinematic Universe, women in business (work work work) have it even tougher. But she has to make it back by Xmas Eve, as Dick BF has a party where Hannah needs to be presented as the trophy she is to him.
Hannah is picked up at the train station (perhaps this PST is like many Hallmarkie PSTs, only one road and one train track into town) by Jake the Factory Owner (Wes Brown, 90120) pretending to be Ed the Taxi Driver. We're in on the trickery, as we saw the poster. Of course, Cookie Jar is utterly fucking sugar sweet charming and Hannah is charmed. Unlike many of the work work work women of Hallmarkies, she's not adverse to immersing herself in the environment she is about to devastate. She's even given a tour of the factory floor, which looks remarkably like the back room of a small town bakery. Not sure how they do national volumes with that single production line.
Of course, she has her meeting with Jake, and he apologizes for the deception. Once he reads the papers (work work work), he is aghast that they want to move the factory. He needs 72 hours to think about it, as he also has some Canadians thinking of buying the business. Despite their popularity, Aunt Sally's Cookie Company ain't doing so well. So, Hannah has a few days to kill and plenty of lovely iced cookies to eat.
Now it should be said. Despite having a Dick BF, from the moment Hannah meets Jake, she seems taken with him. Wagner does a decent job of depicting a woman who knows the reality of the situation, but also wants to enjoy some time with this handsome factory owner. And his friends and family. Jake seems cooler, but that's understandable.
I need to return to taking notes during these, as the montagey type filler plot material in the middle is all muddled for me. The only thing that stands out is that there is a sled race on a hillside of REAL FUCKING SNOW. There are plenty of scenes in this movie where it was really, truly winter, and that is astounding. And there is cookie eating, but those fancy frosted cookies that I am not that fond of. I like my cookies to focus on the cookie, not the food colouring decorating.
Of course, as we get near the end, Hannah is really not comfortable with getting Jake to sign the contract as is, but after the Canadians back out (those damn Canadians) he really has no choice. But he makes an admirable choice to divide up all his own buy-out money amongst all the employees, which is pretty much the whole town. And right after she gets the papers, Dick Boss shows up, because he's been trying to find out what's taking her so long, but she's been avoiding his calls. She's been trying to have her moment with Jake -- go away Dick Boss.
Speaking of having her moments, she is also avoiding calls from Dick BF and just when Hannah and Jake are about to seal their shared attraction with a kiss, he appears and interrupts. He's not as dumb as we hope, and can see something was about to go on there. But instead of going all Alpha Agro, he joins Hannah at the Winter Ball (boooo blue dress again, but daaaaamn, what a blue dress!) and ... (WTF) proposes! She gets upset, runs outside and they have a chat. He's upset he won't be able to show her off at his own Xmas Party. Fuck you Dick BF.
Back inside, Hannah interrupts the finale of the Winter Ball, and Jake's doom & gloom pronouncement of the end of Aunt Sally's factory. She stands on the stage and explains to Dick Boss (who attended the Ball ?!?!) that his company might get the rights to Aunt Sally's but they won't get the recipe, because it's not written down. Apparently Aunt Sally was crafty and convinced special individuals to memorize parts of the recipe. One person knows how to make the dough, one person knows how to make the icing, etc. And while it doesn't sound like a very logical nor viable business model (what if Icing Lady gets eaten by a carnivorous Xmas tree?), it does convince Dick Boss to leave the factory exactly where it is.
And finally Hannah and Jake get to eat cookies kiss.
The Formulae:
Kent is right, what is up with Hallmarkies and their Xmas Deadlines? Is it just the sign of the ultimate in Dick Bossery (work work work) that you force your employees to work through the holidays that you have the rich ability to helicopter back to at a whim?
So, a lovely weirdly named PST called Cookie Jar. Hannah went there as a kid but never returned after her parents died, and she lost interest in Xmas. Not that she hates Xmas, its just not that high on her agenda these days -- the time of year just makes her a little sad.
There are Xmas Sled Races, Xmas Tree hunting (non carnivorous kind) and an Xmas Ball. There is a Dick Boss and a Dick BF, so twice the dickery! She is all about work, work, work until Handsome Jake appears and catches her eye. But still, she must complete said work work work before aforementioned deadline.
Unformulae: (Where it breaks formula)
I may have to now add Blue Dress to the formula, but for now I prefer to see Red Dresses as the trope.
At the end, there is no big decision about who will live where, and it doesn't look like Hannah will be quitting Dick Boss Conglomerate, and moving to Cookie Jar. Sounds like they will do a reasonable "see how it goes".
Was there an Xmas Market? I don't recall an Xmas Market.
True Calling?
Well, yes. The whole movie is about Xmas Cookies from a town that only exists by baking them. And they are featured everywhere in the movie!
The Rewind:
There wasn't anything really rewindable, which means nothing really astounded me as ghastly or superbly laughable. It's almost disappointing when they don't rise above standard middling fare.
The Regulars:
Both leads have done a TON of these, Brown even more so in the last few years. Betty, the Icing Lady has probably played a ton of wisdom filled mothers or ladies running local shops. Barclay Hope, the Dick Boss, seems to split his time between doing these movies and just being one of the standard Vancouver faces in every TV show produced up here. And to a lesser degree, same goes for Dick BF Jim Thorburn. Makes me want to see a Hallmarkie which is almost entirely Battlestar Galactica or Stargate castings!
How does it Hallmark?
Pretty standard fare. When we go through this season, interspersing generic Xmas movies with non-Hallmark but still Hallmarkie adjacent movies, I always need to return to the roots of the Hallmarkie and see one that fits a TON of the formulas, and yet still retains some reasonable charm.
How does it movie?
Nope.
How Does It Snow?
Just watched Hallmark's Eight Gifts of Hanukkah. Guess what? Blue dress. (I realize that Hanukkah colours are blue and white and Xmas colours are red and green, but I'll always take a blue dress over a red, green or white one)
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