A Toast to HallmarKent: A Christmas Movie Christmas - 2021, d. Brian Herzlinger - CBC Gem
The Draw:
This popped up in 2019 on one of my podcasts as a fun playing with tropes. So I made a note to keep an eye out for it. Of course, meta Hallmark-esque movies have shown up with a lot more frequency in the two years since.
HERstory:
Self described "quirky" girl Eve Bell loves Christmas romance movies, watching them all December long. She particularly loves Christmas in Christmas Cove which she watches repeatedly, even while she's at work. She's a copy editor who wants to do design work but her boss doesn't even know her name. She lives with her sister Lacey who just got stood up on her Christmas Eve date (Which apparently happens a lot). Their apartment has no heat and the electricity is on the fritz.
Eve doesn't really go out, and Lacey has been on so many dates, she's possibly exhausted the city supply. They pass by a charity Santa just as Eve was wishing she could be in a Christmas romance movie. Lacey also makes a wish silently. That night, as the women sleep, Christmas magic happens.
When they wake up, Eve and Lacey are in matching Christmas pyjamas and their hair and makeup done, and in foreign surroundings. "Did someone kidnap us? Are we trapped here?" A strange, chipper, elderly lady calling herself GramGram has made them delicious cinnamon waffle. Eve very quickly settles into this well-decorated, delicious environment, while Lacey is freaked the fuck out.
GramGram says it's so nice for the girls to come back to their home town of Holiday Falls (Frankenmuth, Michigan, apparently) from the big city, just in time for planning the annual Christmas bake-off, decorating the tree and figuring out who is sending all those gifts from the 12 days of Christmas ("So many birds!!!). I'm with Lacey, GramGram's a little creepy.
They realize they are indeed in a Christmas Movie. Lacey doesn't even like Christmas movie Christmases on TV, so she gets to be the sarcastic one as they bust through all the tropes. They spy Santa on main street, the same one from the night before. Lacey seeks answers. "Santa brought you here because you made a wish, you'll go home when you see that wish through." Eve seeks her storyline, just as GramGram comes running, telling them the Christmas Festival even planner suddenly left. Just as Eve is then wondering who her "handsome beau" would be, she has a run in with the handsome local innkeeper who is very excited Eve is there to save Christmas. Just as Lacey questions where her "good things" are, they run into the star of Christmas in Christmas Cove who, it turns out, is Russell, Eve's fake-British-accent wielding popstar boyfriend. He is of course Eve's fantasy, but is he a pompous jerk?
Eve's grumpy boss from the real world turns out to be the town curmudgeon, who obviously need to have a big about face. Lacey goes off exploring on her own while Eve and handsome innkeeper Dustin plan the Winter Ball. Lacey meets Paul, the sweet, wide-eyed, handsome owner of the bakery who catches her when she trips. He's script-smitten, while Lacey is totally wary of the entire town, including the fact that it's entire economy seems based on giving things away.
As Eve and Dustin start getting close, Eve starts to feel guilty, but then Noelle, Dustin's pompous ex-girlfriend arrives to throw a wrench in their festival planning. Eve quickly identifies that Noelle is the complication they must overcome and embraces the trope. Meanwhile Paul's aggressively sweet courtship of Lacey she finds very off-putting. But a cookie decorating session with Paul and a precocious child starts warming her with both the Christmas and romantic spirit.
Eve needs to break up with Russell, but he reveals he has depths she didn't see at first, but when she's talking with Lacey about how she chickened out, nefarious old Noelle overhears (from behind a newspaper sitting on a bench). Noelle arranges a surprise meetup between Eve, Russell and Dustin where the truth comes out. Russell leaves (abandoning the Festival) and Dustin says that after the festival he and Eve need to go their separate ways. Then Noelle's plans for Christmas are so bad that Dustin has no choice but to cancel Christmas.
Everything's falling apart for Eve, and Lacey is finding it hard to get close to sweet Paul, her tumultuous history with relationships messing with her confidence. On Christmas morning, Eve and Lacey fight and Lacey leaves, but leave it to GramGram to set Eve straight. "Knock. It. Off." she says in the kindliest way possible, then gives a pep talk which sends Eve running to fix everything. What's her plan?
Montage!
The festival is a success. Paul and Lacey are happy, Lacey has achieved her wish of being a better person. Noelle apologies and makes friends. Russell performs his bandless lip synch and he and Noelle make goo-goo eyes. Eve's grincy boss catches feelings of Christmas. Precocious little girl's daddy comes back from military service (everyone cries). Dustin turns up and helps Eve realise who she needs to be. They kiss. Lacey and Paul kiss. Then Christmas magic sends Eve and Lacey home.
They wake up on Christmas day thinking they had a dream only for Paul to be there in their apartment. Paul it seems had a Christmas wish for Santa to send him wherever Lacey is. Eve goes to her grinchy boss on Christmas and proactively pursues her dreams of being a designer, and grinchy Mr. Petersen doesn't seem to be so grinchy. Then Dustin turns up to give city living one more try.
The Formulae:
All the formulae, all the time.
Unformulae:
Because of this tiny little Christmassy shopping village they were filming in, GramGram's house had to be on the set, and as such it's a tiny little place with a very cramped layout. The general setup of Hallmark houses tend to be huge open concept spaces with big ol' kitchens for lots of room to bake in.
They skip past the Christmas Tree and Poinsettia market (in town square?), cutting to the post-market where Eve has received a free Poinsettia. No Christmas Tree shopping.
True Calling?
It is indeed a Christmas movie Christmas.
The Rewind:
Eve is set up as having terrible decorating skill in the real world, and at one point she puts up a wreath on the wall of her apartment but it pops off the wall. We see it coming off the wall from the wreath's-eye-view which basically looks like it's shimmying off the camera.
Almost every extra in town wears a red or green jacket, except that one guy wearing blue. What's his deal, and why did they let him on set.
The Regulars:
Paul is played by Brant Daugherty, who also co-wrote the film (with Lacey actress, and his wife, Kimberly Daugherty). Brant has been in a couple Christmas romances (including Mingle All The Way) as well as a number of Hallmark (and non-Hallmark) non-Xmas romances (including this year's Parked for Love which Kimberly co-stars).
Randy Wayne, who plays Russell, has a few co-starring credits in some off-brand holiday and non-holiday romance movies including Hallmark's Enchanted Christmas.
Precocious Little Girl is played by Cleary Herzlinger who costars in Twinkle All the Way and A Christmas Switch.
How does it Hallmark?
Well, it's not a Hallmark, and it doesn't have the same glossy spit-and-polish look of a Hallmark. It has more energy and vitality than the worst of Hallmarks, but only in its meta-ness does it compete with the best of them.
How does it movie?
Just because it's so steeped in the meta commentary of Christmas movie romance tropes, it doesn't mean it escapes them. As such it actually gets bogged down at times by having the characters becoming too invested in the fantasy of Christmas movie romance without acknowledging enough how ridiculous it all is. The movie itself doesn't know if it wants to just be a more metatextual version of a Christmas romance, or a satire of them. In the end it sits in between them. It also doesn't really stick the landing, as I'm not certain there's enough leaning into fantasy to make the fantasy realm seem real. Its incursion into "reality" outside of a shared dream thus is troublesome.
It's a likeable movie, but I think this year's A Clüsterfünke Christmas and The Bitch Who Stole Christmas take the meta-Christmas romance to a different comedic level.
How Does It Snow?
So much cotton batting. In the "concert" scene the extras are clearly seen carefully stepping through the mounds and mounds of it all over the ground.
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