Kent I started a silly thing a few years ago, wherein we watch too many Hallmark Christmas movies. I started ironically, he only semi-did, but over the years, he has somewhat tired of them, and I have ... well, come to look forward to this time of year. Entirely unironically.
This year has been emotionally draining. I needed a boost. So Marmy gave me permission to start watching them once the music was playing in the malls and the Santas had begun to visit there. That was this weekend past. I don't intend on ODing on them, just a few here and there, but come Dec wherein I will switch to our usual HallmarKent format.
2020, Terry Ingram (The Christmas Note) -- download
HERstory: I am pretty sure the PST is not named until late in the movie, but here we are. Josh(y) (Eion Bailey, From) and his son Charlie(y) live next door to Josh's brother Jimmy (Jim Thorburn, Engaging Father Christmas) and his wife Amy (Julie Lynn Mortensen, Van Helsing). Mom is absent, and it takes a while for us to guess "she never came back", as mom was a soldier mom. Across town, Molly (Alvina August, Nancy Drew) is the baker in question, a single... oh, wait that's her niece. Joshy has just moved to PST (i think) and isn't doing anything so he volunteers to help his sister-in-law with her first time being in charge of the town tree lighting event + Xmas fair. She gives him a list.
Molly is just the single, hard-working baker not dating anyone. She works too hard. Far too hard, confirmed by the fact that her bakery has no staff, at all, so she does all the baking (stays up all night) and also works the counter, while also finding the time to just wander around town doing stuff with her niece and eventually with Joshy.
The two bump into each other when Joshy gropes her while picking the perfect tree at the Xmas tree lot. OK, he just accidentally brushes finger tips with her but, wooo-weee, snowflakey sparks fly. Joshy tells her all about the perfect tree and they almost have an awkward moment about who gets the tree, which is killed by the fact the tree is already sold.
First on Joshy's fair errand list was baking cookies. He claims to know how. Charlie doesn't cover for him. While decorating the tree, he burns the fuck out of the cookies and ends up being connected with Molly for replacement cookies. He has trouble sleeping and replies to an email to Molly. She is up late (is 3:25am really late, or really early?) and answers said email. He is surprised and they end up talking on the phone, wherein she explains to him that the reason his cookies burned was due to the lack of chilling. I can tell you, 8-11 minutes in a 350 oven is fine for unchilled cookies, so his 9 minutes would have not caused crispy critters, so he fucked up somewhere else.
The rest of the movie is Joshy and Molly occasionally bumping into each other, wherein snowflakes fly, or texting/on-the-phone with each other, not connecting that they are the "bump into" people. Also, Jimmy and Amy and trying to setup Joshy up with Jessica-y (Fiona Vroom, Sailing Into Love), which doesn't go over well. AND Joshy tells Molly on the phone that he hasn't really gotten back to dating after his wife's death, and she tells him how she was left at the altar, and is pretty much of the same opinion on dating. And YET, while easily flirting with Guy On Phone, she is also feeling the snowflakes fly for Bump Into Guy, sooooo she kinda sort sounds like she's interested in dating. Eventually her sister convinces her to be honest, but after initially ruling out one misunderstanding (it's his sister-in-law, not his wife/GF) she has another more understandable one, when Joshy is pressured by Jessica-y to a date at the local steak & Italian joint. That scene really breaks her heart.
And it leads to Josh-y being stood up for gingerbread house decorating, an event he set up with her over the phone, and even convinced her to show up and assist. He masterfully built the town square stand and she was supposed to show with ingredients and expertise. Alas, she is heartbroken so never shows. Its also kind of weird, as Joshy is having crush-y feelings on two women (in his mind), one the Girl On Phone and one, the Bump Into Girl. By now Molly has connected the two together, but he hasn't. And there is the issue with introducing a new lady friend to Charlie. Charlie is his life.
It all comes together when Molly's sister learns the truth of the date, and makes sure that Molly is coming to the tree lighting ceremony. And Charlie has confessed he really wanted Joshy to connect with Bump Into Girl cuz he heard she makes everyone around her happy, and he really wants his dad to be happy again. Molly shows up to the event in her semi-red dress (either way, rahhhr) and Josh finally gets it, and swoops in for the kiss.
The Formulae: There was a bit of the nod nod wink wink in some of the tropes for this movie, including the (more recent) vintage red pickup truck found at the Xmas tree lot, but also Molly had a gingerbread red pickup truck in the background. There is an event, the standard fare town centre Xmas tree lighting event, as well as a low-key Xmas fair going on. And of course, there is cocoa to be had, and the decorating of the tree picked at the lot. Ugly sweater contest -- that light-up, sloth Xmas sweater is incredible !! There is a Dead Mom and while not as common, a "left at the altar" ? I guess they have only so many ways to leave one of the leads currently single without everyone being dead.
Unformulae: The PST aspect of the movie is entirely too far played down. Joshy has moved to his home PST from... California? Where ever he was a big software mogul. But the town is pretty much overlooked as the movie focuses on what's going on in the hearts & minds of our leads. There is also no desire to leave the PST, and nobody is stuck here - everyone is here to stay whether they get together or not. The red dress was mainly purple, but had a red... shawl?
True Calling? Not at all. I mean, the only thing being delivered are the ingredients for the gingerbread making stall, and that is such a low-key aspect of the movie. I have a feeling it was supposed to be played up more in the script, but lost it to the charm of them chatting on the phone.
The Rewind: Nothing really. In the more middle-road Hallmarkies, nothing is ever entirely stand-out terrible nor stand-out enjoyable.
The Regulars: I had to dive pretty far down the list to find someone who has even done more than a couple, and that would be Jimmy (Jim Thorburn, ) who has been in a metric ton of them, interspersed by the standard Canadian TV fare.
How does it Hallmark? It fills in the blanks with a lot of the tropes but from the formula, it meanders mostly down the "getting to know you" standard romantic genre movie path. Nothing really jumps out at you as "classic" Hallmarkie, which meant it was more a classic sugar cookie than a highly decorated gingerbread man.
How does it movie? No, not at all. And it even went so far as to annoy me, in that it kept on shoe-horning in some American military rah-rah. Sure, Dead Mom was a military nurse (why couldn't she has just been a soldier?) but the number of "thankyou for your service" moments felt entirely tacked on for some purple suit's agenda.
How Does It Snow? Grrr. They didn't even really try. There was one shaved-ice snowball fight and a snow fort made from... something, but the cotton batting sitting on the bushes and hedges really annoyed me. It looked like cotton batting and there was never even a hint of cold weather in the entire movie.
I'm not ready for this to be a thing this year yet
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