Ugh, that last one took forever to write. I must have rewatched the film twice over while I was writing it up, so I think I need to go back to writing as I watch. But I'm simplifying the format, and may tweak it further.
Japanese Name: Kaijū Dai-sensō ["Giant Monster War"]
Director: Ishiro Honda
Studio: Toho
Year: 1965
Length: 94 minutes
The Creatures' Story:
Godzilla just livin' his life, laying dormant a the bottom of a lake, when UFOs come by, electrocutes him, puts him in a bubble and dragged out into space, and when he's woken up that King Ghidorah asshole is there to greet him on a foreign planet with no water. At least his new best frenemy Rodan is there.
Rodan just livin' his life, laying dormant in the side of a mountain, when UFOs come by, electrocutes him, puts him in a bubble and dragged out into space and when he's woken up that King Ghidorah asshole is there to greet him on a foreign planet with low gravity. At least his new best frenemy Godzilla is there.
They fight. Godzilla does a flying leap onto Ghidora and they tumble. Ghidora flies off and Godzilla dances victoriously. He really does!
Next thing they know a very human spaceship is leaving them abandoned on this planet. It's like leaving a pet lizard and bird in the woods outside city limits. They have no idea what's going on, but it's hard not to feel sorry for just leaving them behind.
And then they get mind controlled, first into a waiting state and then into attacking the humans they always attack anyway. And they have to deal with those humans bullying them as they always do with their little pop machines. The UFOs help in their attack.
Foot stomp montage!
In the process of freeing them from from the mind control, Godzilla, Rodan and Ghidora are knocked into an unconscious spastic mess. Regaining consciousness after the Planet Xers self immolation, and seeing each other, Godzilla and Rodan immediately begin stomping on Ghidora. Rodan picks Godzilla up and hurls him at the three-headed beast, knocking them over the cliffside. Godzilla tries to drown him, but Ghidorah once again escapes into space.
Both Ghidorah and Rodan look improved over the last film, including how they fly. If they are the same suits, then it's how Honda shoots and edits them this production, less head-on, less full body. It's more oblique and looks better.
The Human Story:
Starts on a rocket in space. Cheap looking planet cutouts and bad starscapes. But there is some good matte work incorporating people with minis.
The peoples:
Fuji - astronaut for the World Space Agency, nepobaby
Glenn - astronaut
Haruno - Fuji's sister works at the World Space Agency. Nepobaby.
Tetsuo - her fiancee, an unsuccessful inventor. Fuji disapproves
Namikawa - from World Education Corporation, buying one of Tetsuo's devices. Dating Glenn...?
Planet X is discovered. It's emitting strange radio waves. Fuji and Glenn land there. Fuji goes off to plant a flag on a peak and comes out on the other end in an elevator that speaks to him knowingly. He exits into a long, bread loaf-shaped tunnel where he reunites with Glenn. He meets the Commandant of Planet X who tells them of "Monster Zero", a deadly creature who attacks their planet surface forcing them underground. It's King Ghidorah! The planet has used all their resources to defend against him, but to no avail. They ask the humans if they can borrow Godzilla and Rodan to fight Ghidorah on behalf of their planet. They offer a cure for cancer in return. I mean, hey, sounds like a deal, giving them those two trouble makers on a permanent loan and solve some major problems.
Planet X people come to earth (or maybe were already here, hiding under a lake all this time). They hold a press conference and express this day is Friendship Day. Glenn, Fuji and Dr. So-n-so are to escort Godzilla and Rodan back to planet X in the Commandant's UFO, but Glenn's making out with Miss Namikawa who pleads with him not to go.
Meanwhile, Tetsuo hasn't been paid for the invention the World Education Corporation bought off him and trails Miss Namikawa, only to discover that the people of the WEC are in fact Planet Xers.
On Planet X, Glenn and Fuji listen to the Commandant's spiel, but suspect something dicey is up. They skip out to investigate (what exactly?) to find a room full of gold, and women who all look like Namikawa. They get captured for their nosiness but are let off with a warning as state guests, then sent home with a gold file with the cure for cancer on it. As they're about to fly off, they spy Rodan and Godzilla, looking forlorn...
Glenn: They cause troubles sometimes but I can't help feeling sorry for them.
You know, like those two rapscallions aren't each responsible for thousands upon thousands of deaths. Back home, the cancer cure turns out to be a tape recording of a Planet X manifesto. Earth will hereby become a Planet X colony or face destruction. Panic, riots, mass insanity, dogs and cats living together across the globe. Namikawa and Glenn fight over whether they should marry as earthlings or as Planet Xers. Glenn is captured and Namikawa is executed for being a race traitor? A flying saucer arrives and destroys all the WSA's space ships and satellites. They demand Earth's resistance cease or they will use Godzilla, Rodan and King Ghidorah against the planet with their futuristic electromagnetic mind control.
A note Namikawa slipped Glenn before her death states that her people are defenceless against a certain range of sound. It happens to be the same sound Tetsuo's invention makes (which is why they "bought" it off him, to prevent it from developing into a weapon against them. They're like the aliens from Mars Attacks. The sound is broadcast over the airwaves, affecting not just the Planet Xers but also their computer-controlled UFOs. The Planet Xers vow to escape into an unknown future (promising a sequel that never happens?), and self-destruct their ships and bases.
After Godzilla and Rodan defeat Ghidora, Fuji is now okay with his sister and Tetsuo getting married after being on Tetsuo's ass the whole movie, but he and Glenn are being sent back to Planet X to raid their base.
Godzilla, Friend or Foe:
Chaotic neutral at worst. Friend-ish at best. Ditto for Rodan.
The Sounds:
A sort of military march is the main theme from Akira Ifukube this time around. What's constantly surprising is how little Ifukube reuses his themes from film to film. He seems to come up with an original composition for each film's opening credits then does variations on it throughout the film alongside additional compositions.
The Message:
Never trust an alien?
Rating (out of 5 Zs):
ZZ - kind of surprisingly dull. The story is a little lifeless.
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