3 Short Paragraphs: Robin Hood

2018, Otto Bathurst (a buncha TV episodes) -- Amazon

My two buddies, the imaginary movie execs in their bad (but very expensive) suits and definitive hair cuts, show up a lot these days. Their elevator pitches are both hilarious yet likely. For example, this particular Robin Hood started with a "like we are doing a Robin Hood movie set in the same world as Guy Ritchie's King Arthur." (1)  Anywayz, Bad Suit Guys, one old enough to remember A Knight's Tale, conceive of a Robin Hood movie that draws upon many tropes from modern day movies, and convince each other it will be a masterpiece. Also, the only other Robin Hood movie they know is Costner's. And, it was so much a masterpiece, it actually took me three separate sittings to finish.

Robin of Locksley, is a crusader much like the Costner version, in fact I don't think the Bad Suit Guys realized they were not doing a reboot of that movie, in an opening scene that needed a marker saying "Falujah, late 1100s" as they are recreating an Iraq War movie with crusaders armed with bows, instead of M16s. (2) Modern war footage style battle against Saracens with Robin showing his uncanny skill with a bow. He runs afoul of some fellow crusaders when he doesn't stand for the summary executions of prisoners, but not before he gains the admiration of Yahya (Jamie Fox), who actually follows Robin (Taron Egerton) back to England. Of course, back in England, Loxley's estates have been taken from him, and he ends up going against the Sheriff of Nottingham to defend the people against the corrupt ruler. Enter a need to take from the rich (Ben Mendelsohn) and give to the poor.

In bits and pieces it is not all that bad of a movie, more a collection of creative set pieces and costume choices. But as a whole, it is entirely boring and retread. I never really liked Robin, as he was more just a polished, out-of-time Eggsy. Sheriff O'K has a plan, which is convoluted and dastardly but the end game is only hinted at. And I am realizing that I don't really like the chase-the-wagon trope that need to be in these movies. Also, his Merry Men were severely lacking in screen time, making me feel they were trying for the first in a franchise. If I liked anything, it was his quilted hoodie with a Green Arrow-styled peak hood.

(1) That movie deserves a re-watch and a post, as I both rather dislike yet rather enjoy it.

(2) Yes, I know the M16 is no longer a primary weapon in the US Army. Perhaps I should say a SCAR ? I dunno, not a gun guy despite shooting a lot of them in FPS games.