But here, on Netflix, she brings a solid yet typical Xmas Romance movie.
*ahem*
"Crone! Crone! Crone!" yells Sir Cole (Josh Whitehouse; Poldark) as he wanders the forest just outside the castle where he and his brother live. I don't remember why (Hallmarkish movies never seem to stick in my brain) but he's in the forest with his horse when he is confronted by a not very crone-ish looking old woman who says he has to find his purpose. And she has a magical pendant that sends Sir Cole into the far future.
Meanwhile in the far future, Brooke (Vanessa Hudgens; Sucker Punch), a jilted teacher in picturesque small town Bracebridge, Ohio (actually, Bracebridge, Ontario), bumps into Sir Cole, Thor-style. Ever polite & chivalric Sir Cole immediately forgives her as he does his best to figure out this whole new world with big metal beasts (nit pick; they should have been big metal carriages) and why the fuck he was sent here. After being hit, but announcing who he is (a knight from the past), a Nice Cop releases him into Brooke's custody. Cuz, Nice Cop, nice Brooke.
Brooke lives in the absolutely massive house she couldn't afford to own, but which she inherited, which also happens to have a fully separate guest house, into which she installs Sir Cole, because Brooke is just that nice kind of small town gal, who is willing to take a total stranger, but also one who is either psychotic (thinks he's a time travelling knight) or in the very least an amnesiac unknown.
Sir Cole speed-watches his knowledge of the modern world via some all night Netflix binging, including Holiday in the Wild. But still, there is Fish Out of Water a plenty, with all the requisite confusions and anachronistic misconceptions. And he puts Alexa in the freezer. But he does adapt spectacularly, and gets wrapped up in Brooke's life, with her ex (dick who left her for another woman), her sister (Emmanuelle Chriqui; Entourage) & niece, and the charity feast she is arranging.
IIRC she is trying to give him a comfortable surrounding while she, and Nice Cop, wait for his memory to return. So, she allows him to assist her with this charity event. He teaches her how to bake proper bread (cuz medieval bread and modern bread have so much in common!), he learns to drive (very observative knight!), they attend the small town Christmas Fair, all the while Sir Cole is trying to figure out what his Quest is, so he can complete it and return home in time for his brother to be knighted.
Eventually, Cole, in his every mis-guided path to discover his True Quest realizes that he is attracted to Brooke. Charity Event leads to dance event, where she emerges in the most stunning red dress. He realizes his True Quest was to fall in love and *POOF* blue smoke and he has returned to castle land just in time for his brother's knighting. Oh dear, Brooke has been jilted again.
And just when we think all is lost (do we? really?), Crone shows up again and *POOF* Sir Cole is sent back to the future (tee hee) where he and Brooke kiss for the first time, to live happily ever after.
The Draw: Two reasons: Time Travel and Vanessa Hudgens. She is becoming one of the staples in these movies and has been in a couple already, including last year's The Princess Switch which was about a baking competition in a foreign country. Of course, being a Disney Club kid, she fits well into the Sweet Girl mould.
The Formulae: Of yeah, formula all over. As we go through these, as I actually watch more of them, I will become more and more aware of said formulas, of the identifiable tropes. For example, the red dress!! Many of these will end on a dance based event, into which the lead actress will reveal herself wearing the most stunning red dress. Brooke's is rather fetching. And winter fairs. Every picturesque small town has to have a winter and/or Christmas fair, which the two will saunter through pondering deep thoughts and denying they are attracted to each other. Also, bad previous relationship. Every young woman has to have a recent breakup, and Brooke had hers, and bemoans the fact that no White Knight ever came to save her. Ding ding ding!!
Unformulae: Well, duh... do any of these movies ever involve time travel? Maybe its a producer's way of connecting the popularity of Game of Thrones with the formula?
True Calling? Oh yes, yes the title and movie are a match made at Hallmark. And they even pun it all up!
The Rewind: Wait? Are they watching... yes, the are Netflix-ing and chilling (in the most accurate to the description and chaste version) and, oh Netflix you silly scamp, they are seeing clips from OTHER Netflix holiday romances.
The Regulars: I will take a while before I see the familiar faces, but obviously Hudgens will be in a few more of these Netflix ones.
How does it Hallmark? This is about pretty average. Once the Sir Fish Out of Water fades out in record time, the standard play points are there, and as forgettable as usual. The supporting characters are already forgotten, and have little part to play in the overall story.
How does it movie? Nope. I am lucky I remembered as much as I did. So, no not good movie material at all. But do they have to be?
Back to back reviews of the same movie! Love it!
ReplyDeleteA lot of good catches... that they're watching Holiday in the Wild... didn't catch that.
ReplyDeleteAlso didn't even think to connect that they shot in Bracebridge, ON, good one!
I was wondering about the house, didn't catch that she inherited it, because yeah, teachers in the US make jack. She should be driving an uber in her spare time.
I did catch, however, that one of the songs they play is the song that Shamiek Moore sings in Let It Snow. Showing some definite Netflix platform parity this year.
And to note, yeah, time-travel romance has happened a couple times in Hallmark movies...look up "Journey Back to Christmas" :P