A Toast to Hallmarkent
I'm Not Ready For Christmas (2015)
I'm Not Ready For Christmas (2015)
The Story: We meet Denver advertising account manager, Holly (Alicia Witt), in the midst of one of her habitual lying sprees. She's trying to land a big account at work ("fashion designer Greydon DuPois" who is more an LL Bean/Eddie Bauer-type than Vogue type, not really what you're thinking for the term "fashion designer"), and in doing so would bump her up to partner (because that's how that works). She runs into Drew (George Stults) when she steals his cab, telling him a lie about her sister giving birth. At a work party, she runs into Drew again (why was he at her work party? Weird) and they hit it off but she's stuck perpetuating the lie, plus she's married to her job, so no more dating. She keeps missing her niece Anna's holiday events (tree lighting, Christmas concert), and bailing on her promises. Anna talks to a street Santa and he asks what she wants for Christmas. She responds it's for her aunt to stop lying. Holly arrives after the concert is over only to run into Drew, who it turns out is Anna's music teacher, and calls her out on her lies. Blossoming romance DOA. Then, outside, Holly runs into the very judgemental street Santa who, in a very threatening manner, tells Holly "I'm going to make sure Anna gets what she wants for Christmas." (The Wonder Years' Dan Lauria is really bringing it as this Santa). Santa casts his spell and this bobo LiarLiar gets in full swing.
With her inability to lie shocking her and everyone else all morning, Holly makes amends with Anna (because Anna acutely understands her wish came true). She then has a chance run-in with Drew at the supermarket (is Denver really that small) and her truth telling ways start warming him over. Then they go Christmas tree shopping and have a meaningful chat over hot chocolate (you known like you do) where he tells her, basically, he was cheated on and doesn't trust liars (who does!?). He drops her off at home (no kiss). Holly peruses her family albums (intoning that her career- mindedness means she's missing out on quality family time), then goes and has a heart-to-heart with the street Santa again for some reason (street Santa is really sticking to his belief he's the real Santa). Holly's truth telling nearly gets her fired, but it's that very truth telling that secures the $20million DuPois account (I thought she'd already done that?). Cue the working montage.
Holly pays another couple visits to Santa (who has now become her therapist, I guess?), and she invites Drew out to caroling where she sings terribly (bravura tonedeaf performance by Witt) and then he drops her off at home and he invites her out on a date ...and then they shake hands...! (but she does blurt out "I also would have been okay with you kissing me goodnight". Yes Holly!) Holly then reconnects with her sister after years of distance. The complication, however, is Greydon DuPois calls and demands she comes out to Aspen to show their progress on the campaign, which means she's going to miss her date with Drew (in most non-Hallmark movies he would be overtly creeping on her, if not threatening her and abusing his position to try and force her into doing unsavory things, but in a Hallmark movie his creepo-ness is all subtext, and honestly kind of works better, if only they let Witt play her discomfort more)... but thanks to her truth and honesty she manages to bail, make her date and keep the account. But, new wrinkle, Drew is jealous of Greydon Dupois and, another new wrinkle, Drew is suddenly offered a job at Northwestern in Chicago, which makes Holly upset. Drew drops her off at home where flowers from Greydon await, causing jealous Drew to storm off in a huff (once more, no kiss, obvs). Then as she professes her love to him he drops the bomb that he's accepted the job and is off to Chicago on Xmas eve. Anna, realizing that her wish is actually harming her aunt's happiness asks Santa if she can take back her wish.
At the Christmas' Eve fashion show (the unfortunately typical no-budget "big" gathering Hallmark movies) creepo Greydon DuPois reveals (in a cartoonish Mr. Burns-style moment) that the whole campaign Holly built is based off a lie, and Holly has to decide, does she keep her job and get the promotion or tell the truth? Of course she does, and her boss is proud of her and gives her the promotion even though he just lost a 20 million dollar deal and is likely getting sued. But also Anna switched her wish, getting Drew snowed in so he could stay at least for Christmas. Holly and Drew finally get that kiss and profess their love. Movie over...except for the definite time-filling epilogue where Holly makes other amends and kisses Drew grossing out Anna.
The Draw:
Both Alicia Witt (I've thought she was cute going back to the Cybill days) and the little-bit-of-fantasy premise is a stand-out for these typically generic movies.
Both Alicia Witt (I've thought she was cute going back to the Cybill days) and the little-bit-of-fantasy premise is a stand-out for these typically generic movies.
The Formulae:
Ok, the formula. So, we have busy working woman, too busy for love and family, who meets a nice guy but doesn't think she can get together with him because she's so busy. She's also going for the big promotion/account at Christmas. And then there's a guy dressed as Santa who turns out to ACTUALLY BE SANTA (NO!?!). There's the search for the perfect tree, accompanied by an inauspicious outdoor sit-down to hot chocolate. Also in Holly's backstory, the tragic death of her parents when she was 13, so formulaic. And the complications all have to happen on Christmas Eve which is usual for these films.
Unformulae:
There's a theme song, which is jarring. There's usually never an actual song, other than janky Christmas carols in these films. This theme...it's not my favourite thing, but after a few listens on youtube it's not as bracing as I originally found it. This one has a Ben Folds-esque jazz bounce that sets my teeth on edge.
Also, this movie has honest conversations. It's something we rarely see in Hallmark movies. Usually it's characters pussyfooting around their feelings, but because of the premise, Holly is very forthright with Drew about her feelings for him, which, for the most part, causes him to be open with her.
While late quarter complications are standard, these ones are pretty distinct, and very specific to the scenario (her inability to lie means that she's also unable to edit what she says to omit the truth).
There's a theme song, which is jarring. There's usually never an actual song, other than janky Christmas carols in these films. This theme...it's not my favourite thing, but after a few listens on youtube it's not as bracing as I originally found it. This one has a Ben Folds-esque jazz bounce that sets my teeth on edge.
Also, this movie has honest conversations. It's something we rarely see in Hallmark movies. Usually it's characters pussyfooting around their feelings, but because of the premise, Holly is very forthright with Drew about her feelings for him, which, for the most part, causes him to be open with her.
While late quarter complications are standard, these ones are pretty distinct, and very specific to the scenario (her inability to lie means that she's also unable to edit what she says to omit the truth).
True Calling?
If I had to guess, I would say that Witt already had a song called "I'm Not Ready For Christmas" which the film's producers said "hey, we can use that for the film's title and we can use the song as our theme" (these things never have a theme song). The song and the title have NOTHING at all to do with the movie. The song is about a woman who's just frustrated with the demands of Christmas and kind of wants nothing to do with it (not very Hallmarkish sentiments). Why isn't it called The Truth of Christmas or something? I swear they intentionally title these things so inappropriately and generically so you don't remember them.
If I had to guess, I would say that Witt already had a song called "I'm Not Ready For Christmas" which the film's producers said "hey, we can use that for the film's title and we can use the song as our theme" (these things never have a theme song). The song and the title have NOTHING at all to do with the movie. The song is about a woman who's just frustrated with the demands of Christmas and kind of wants nothing to do with it (not very Hallmarkish sentiments). Why isn't it called The Truth of Christmas or something? I swear they intentionally title these things so inappropriately and generically so you don't remember them.
[update: I see "I'm Not Ready For Christmas" is copyright 2013, and also the "non radio friendly" version above has swearing in it...]
The Rewind:
The very end, Anna's second muttering of "gross" after seeing Holly and Drew (awkwardly) kiss at the dinner table. So funny when the actors have to adlib to fill time.
The Regulars:
Witt has been doing these Hallmark things for a decade or so. I've seen bits and pieces of another (Christmas on Honeysuckle Lane) where she seemed distracted and was phoning it in, but she is on her game here. She seems to revel in the opening deceitful scenes, but also manages to convey that she thinks her lies are rather harmless. But she's even better running at the mouth spouting truths uncontrollably in spite of herself. She seems to be having immense fun. The performance is something like a hybrid of Kristen Bell's Eleanor on The Good Place and Ellie Kemper's on The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. It's quite great (and would probably be even better if they didn't have to shoot these things so cheaply and quickly).
Witt has been doing these Hallmark things for a decade or so. I've seen bits and pieces of another (Christmas on Honeysuckle Lane) where she seemed distracted and was phoning it in, but she is on her game here. She seems to revel in the opening deceitful scenes, but also manages to convey that she thinks her lies are rather harmless. But she's even better running at the mouth spouting truths uncontrollably in spite of herself. She seems to be having immense fun. The performance is something like a hybrid of Kristen Bell's Eleanor on The Good Place and Ellie Kemper's on The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. It's quite great (and would probably be even better if they didn't have to shoot these things so cheaply and quickly).
Stults seemed familiar to me, but looking at his resume it's not from anything I've watched (I thought maybe it was because he was a 7th Heaven regular but none of the Funny or Die's "A Very Special Episode" videos using the show have featured him. Stults' performance is half-hearted, it's like he wants to be interested in doing his best, but he also feels that a Hallmark movie is perhaps a little beneath him (it's not). I may just be reading into things.
Holly has a sister in the film, Rose (mother to Anna), played by Brigid Brannagh. Brannagh has been everywhere, in so many detective, comedy and genre TV shows, most recently as Gert's mom on Runaways. She's great but really relegated to a side role. Even her trouble with her ex-husband only comes out when Anna is talking 1-on-1 with Holly... and when Holly wants to reconnect, it's mostly Holly gushing about Drew, and not getting into the deep dish Anna let her in on. Anyway, Brannagh had her own Hallmark feature in 2011 called A Crush On You (with Sean Patrick Flannery and ...Michael Clark Duncan!?). Haven't seen it, but she's awesome and is likely way too busy to do more of these front-and-center, but I'd happily watch her in them.
How does it Hallmark?
Honestly, of the Hallmarks I've seen this is among the best. For now I'm going to put it right behind my favourite, Nine Lives Of Christmas (the only HM I have watched more than once). I would watch this again.
Honestly, of the Hallmarks I've seen this is among the best. For now I'm going to put it right behind my favourite, Nine Lives Of Christmas (the only HM I have watched more than once). I would watch this again.
How does it movie?
With a little more budget, a little more time, and a little less of the Hallmark sterility (oh, those Christmas tree shopping scenes), this would be an actual movie. Add a little more beefcake, a little more kissing, and a little more depth into Rose's story (and maybe give her a love interest as well). As it is, it's not big screen worthy but it's worth considering as a legit entry in the romcom genre. It is actually funny, it's got good to great performances, generally good chemistry between the lead and the rest of the cast, a lot going on for the lead to juggle, genuine character development, and some of the romantic stuff was even believable, particularly those doorstep scenes. Just invite him inside already!
With a little more budget, a little more time, and a little less of the Hallmark sterility (oh, those Christmas tree shopping scenes), this would be an actual movie. Add a little more beefcake, a little more kissing, and a little more depth into Rose's story (and maybe give her a love interest as well). As it is, it's not big screen worthy but it's worth considering as a legit entry in the romcom genre. It is actually funny, it's got good to great performances, generally good chemistry between the lead and the rest of the cast, a lot going on for the lead to juggle, genuine character development, and some of the romantic stuff was even believable, particularly those doorstep scenes. Just invite him inside already!
Am I supposed to read the designer's name as Greydon Poupon?
ReplyDeleteNo, but they kept mentioning "fashion designer Greydon DuPois", which I think evokes like a high-falutin' French fashion designer, but instead we get a dude in a regular suit who makes outdoor wear for rich people who don't go outdoors but wants everyone to think they do when they're "dressed casual".
DeleteSo, we can envision someone in an average sedan pulling up beside another average sedan, "Excuse me sir, do you have any Greydon Poupon?"
Delete"Yes, why yes I do!" tossing him a spare fall weight coat?