31 Days of Halloween 2017: The Wailing

2016, Hong-jin Na (The Chaser) -- download

This South Korean movie got nothing but rave reviews from the critics who praise its genre mixing and fresh approach. I suspect these critics haven't seen many Korea horror movies, and while I don't account myself an expert, I found this one rather on-point with the South Korea horror industry. What  a lot of reviewers found unpredictable, I found scattered and confused, like he was changing direction at the last moment, or that he edited together multiple shot versions into a single film. Sure, the genre mixing (crime, disease, zombie, possession, ghost, comedy) was fun but I often found the movie's intent hard to take seriously.

Jong-gu is a dopey cop assigned to investigate a familiar murder. He's not very good at his job, is berated by his mother-in-law, ridiculed by his bosses and just an all around bumbler. But he loves his daughter, and that makes him the hero of the story. His small town, which if this was middle America, would have rusting cars and swing sets sitting in front of dilapidated farm houses, is suffering a spate of unexplained murder sprees.  It seems to be disease related, as the murders are left in a boil covered zombie state. You would think they would call in regional or federal authorities, but nope, assigned to bumbling cop.

He learns of and immediately blames it on the quiet (dead silent actually) Japanese man who recently moved to town. They discover some weird shrines in a hidden room in the man's house, so the stressed out Jong-gu is convinced this man is responsible, and proceeds to kill the guy's dog. Oh, and there is the idea that the Japanese man is probably a ghost.

We get the idea, from a few key scenes, that the Japanese man may be there to investigate the murder spree, maybe he is familiar with it or suffered his own loss. But no, that's just clumsy misdirection. So, a weird little idea that I thought was going to explore Korea and its uncomfortable relationship with its former occupier, is dispensed with to go deeper into the weird shit.

They never seem to really ever investigate the crimes, even when they stack up. Family after family is found murdering each other, but Jong-gu continues to lead the investigation via his own misguided and misled gut feelings. But then his daughter shows signs of being possessed. Is he worried she is going to murder him and his family? He seems more concerned she is ill, than anything. But of course, in a drunken rage, he and his drinking buddies (dude, aren't you on duty?) try to murder the Japanese man, only to be attacked by another victim of this diseases / possession. They suffer horrible repercussions, but luckily (???) run the Japanese man down with their truck.

And then the shaman shows up. This was one of the best elements of the movie, a guy who seems a mix of actual experienced mystic and showman. And yet, in classic Exorcist style, just when it seems the shaman is going to drive the spirit from his daughter, Jong-gu freaks out and decides he should go with traditional medicine. Of course, its the wrong decision.

Meanwhile, in the background, in a few rare scenes, a beautiful woman with all the trappings of being a real ghost appears. She seems at odds with the Japanese man and the shaman, and suddenly things change direction (again!) and she might be the bad guy! But no, that is just another flip flop of the plotting and AGAIN we turn back to blaming the Japanese man, who is not actually dead from the car accident. And the daughter is not actually freed from the possession. And the shaman is probably... a bad guy? And the ghost is... by this point, I just gave up. There was not going to be any explanation that satisfied any of the plot threads that had been weaved into the story.

Oh, and the wailing of the title just seemed to be mainly from Jong-gu himself as he screamed his daughter's name either in grief, anxiety or drunken rages.

31 Days of Halloween 2017: Southbound

2016, Roxanne Benjamin, David Bruckner, Patrick Horvath, Radio Silence -- download

"If this segment ends right here, I am out," is what I said as the first segment came to a close. We hoped this anthology series, that claimed to all the segments together, would get better. Many indie anthology series, an excuse for a bunch of horror directors to work together and put something out, show the passion (if not skill) these people have for their genre. They are always rough around the edges, but know where they are going. They are fun.

This was not fun.

This seemed to be made by a number of horror directors who saw other horror anthology series and assumed they could make one themselves. The segments are often pointless, with some good ideas, but never fully baked. Constructing a bloody scene well, does not necessarily means the scene is well done. There was one segment, set around a ritual in the desert, where we thought it could be improved by the arrival of Manos or at the least, Torgo.

And the tied together story? Well, if you ignore the radio announcer (do late night radio shows with creepy DJs even exist anymore?) going on about fate and whatnot, then the final story leads back to the first story that we were dumped into without much adieu. And that's it. Not really a tie, but a timeline. And the first segment still ended with... nothing, absolutely no fucking point. I really should have been out then.

31 Days of Halloween 2017: The Dark Song

2016, Liam Gavin -- download

I found this low key, only dual casting movie somewhat of an enigma. It was compelling enough, a rather well laid out tense and creepy movie, but I wasn't quite sure of the point in the end. Many séance movies have that bit near the beginning, a small ritual by amateurs to summon the dead, and it usually goes wrong. But what if the whole movie is the séance?

Sophia lost her child, to violence. She hires occultist Joseph to cast a powerful spell. She initially says it is because she wants to talk to her son, then admits she wants revenge of the people who took her son from her. Joseph cares not why, as long as she is honest, for that honesty will fuel the ritual to summon forth a guardian angel, of whom she can ask a boon. Any boon.

This is John Constantine level magic, with arcana and long torturous rituals performed over and over. Joseph is harsh, abusive and demanding but he states that he has to be, to control the forces he is letting in. Sometimes we think he is a charlatan who just wants more than money. Of course, she has that worry as well. But with a shower of gold flake, things begin to happen. Before her guardian angel can arrive, stranger darker things enter the house, providing familiar haunted house or ghost tropes.

The movie is carried more by the powerful performances by the leads. Joseph (Steve Oram) is a knowledgeable yet reprehensible seer, fully into this for the power, if not the money. Sophia (Catherine Walker) is drive, so utterly overwhelmed by her grief, she subjects herself to abuse, humiliation and self-torture. Whether she receives what she wants in the end seems to matter naught. She has to do something extreme to deal with her feelings, and this is definitely qualifies.

Does this ritual work? Yes, but not without cost.

31 Days of Halloween 2017: The Babysitter

2017, McG (Termination Salvation) -- Netflix

One of the best of the season comes along as a Netflix original comedy spin on the scary night with the babysitter story. Normally these stories are about the young boy's crush on his hot baby sitter being upset by someone trying to get at them. But what if that someone IS the babysitter?

Cole has a crush on hot & cool Bee. She's your typical blonde sex bomb, but she also relates very well to Cole giving him his nerd quotient and dancing with him. Cole is not a die-hard socially awkward nerd, just a guy who has family induced fear issues. But his understandable crush on his babysitter keeps him awake long after he should, long enough to witness her and her gang of popular kids murder another nerd to begin a satanic ritual. Cole rightfully freaks out.

What continues is a cat & mouse game, where the members of The Cult of Bee try to recapture Cole so they can complete the ritual. Bee never actually intended on killing Cole, just draining some blood, because he is a font of innocence. But that doesn't change the fact she is a murderous psychopath.

The movie is mostly standard McG comedic, with some fun at odds with horror aspects. Like Robbie Amell spending the entire movie shirtless (of which he is challenged, but won't explain), and more concerned with Cole standing up to bullies (like himself) then the actual murdery bits. This crass, naughty movie is meant for teens but none of the humour ever really goes over the top.

31 Days of Halloween 2017: Ghost Wars

2017, SyFy -- download

Not covered under this run was the cheesy but not in an intentional way Midnight, Texas based on the other popular book series by True Blood writer Charlaine Harris. In the show a young psychic on the run from someone ends up in a small town that has a vampire, a witch, an angel, a demon, a weretiger and a sexy assassin. The psychic has the ability to see the dead, and it often causes him grief.

In Ghost Wars a young man in small town Alaska can see the dead. He is just about to leave the small town when an earthquake strikes killing everyone on the bus but him. But the earthquake was more the doom bell tolling and suddenly evil ghosts are everywhere, driving people mad and keeping them from leaving. And psychic kid has to save the town.

Its actually much more compelling than the other show, mainly because it has a darker, grittier feel. Its oh so Canadian (shot in Squamish, BC, not Alaska) full of the usual suspects and Kim Coates, finally playing a not so bad guy. And it has an evil lab facility, so if you wanted to apply pithy labels, you might call it Midnight, Texas meets Stranger Things.

Unrelated, I am still rather taken aback that I have finally identified the cliff face that I have been seeing in recurring dreams for about 30 years. In these dreams, I see the town on the side of a lake. On the other side of the lake is a massive cliff face, a mountain side shorn off. That mountain side is in Squamish and plays a prevalent backdrop in the show. The only thing I can imagine is that the cross-Canada trip my family did when I was 13 passed through this area, and the majestic scene took hold in my psyche.

31 Days of Halloween 2017: The Autopsy of Jane Doe

2016, André Øvredal (Troll Hunter) -- download

We loved Troll Hunter.  Probably more in fond recollection than in review, but still I respect the guy for doing it. We should see a couple more of his movies, but this one turned out to be a respectful entry, if a little lazy in the ending.

Tommy and Austin run the local small town morgue & coroner's office, out of an old family home. With typical setup, we get the pair finishing an autopsy with father Tommy explaining to his son Austin that they don't do the investigating, they just collect the information and present it to the authorities. Tommy (Brian Cox) is the venerable expert; his son Tommy (Emile Hirsch) is catching on, but really, he just wants to leave the job, move on with his girlfriend to a new life.

And then they wheel in Jane Doe, who was found in the basement of a murdered local family. The family looked like they may have killed each other, but Jane is a mystery. Her body is pristine, clean and unblemished but... has to have been in the basement for a while. So, WTF.

Jane is a naked anomaly, and Øvredal really plays up the alluring nature of her beautiful nude body. Yeah, he is fucking with us. The best part of the movie is as they perform the autopsy, inspecting a body that should just not be in the state it is, confounding all of Tommy's attempt to determine cause and time of death.

Once they  determine she must be a witch, and possibly one that was killed and branded during the Salem era witch trials, things get more familiar. Spooky things happen, the pair getting cut off from the outside and they accept that the supernatural is involved. There doesn't seem to be any motivating factors to the witch, but they try and appease her, with no success ending in a completely... unsatisfying manner, but one that is meant to lead to sequels, probably origin stories, as things go these days.

31 Days of Halloween 2017: I Am Not a Serial Killer

2016, Billy O'Brien (The Hybrid) -- Netflix

This is one of those movies that is so indie yet so bloody sincere, you quickly forget the low budget. So many of those low budget indie movies carry the weight of bad acting & directing like so much stress eating fat. Its uncomfortable and the movie moves badly for it. But this movie just shrugs it off and trudges through the wintry setting unburdened by what it lacks.

In a small mid-western, unnamed town in the deep of winter young John Wayne Cleaver, whom I believed was three-named because so many serial killers are, is struggling with teenagehood and the fact he is a diagnosed sociopath. His mom and his therapist do their best to deal with it, and so does John, with his collection of "normal behaviours" that he wears like a costume. But being the subject of bullies doesn't help. Nor does the fact that the town is the subject of random, horrific murders, of which John becomes a little obsessed. We are supposed to think it might be him.

One night John witnesses the nice old man, with whom John actually has a good relationship, leads a local man onto the ice, isolated and alone. And instantly reverts to a monstrous form to kill the man, to then remove his lungs and ... ingest them? WTF, this movie that we assumed was about a budding sociopath dealing with a real psychopath turns into a monster movie!

Woot! We had a deficit of such this year.

The rest of the movie is a fun cat & mouse game between John and the nice old man / monster, played by Christopher Lloyd. The Monster is being forced into more activity, less safe, because of John's harassment but John being John, there is no way he can just tell people there is a monster in town. They already think he's a freak. And John is confronting what it is like to be a true monster, both being attracted to the activity but realizing he is much more tied to his family and town than he ever realized.

31 Days of Halloween 2017: Ouija: Origin of Evil

2016, Mike Flanagan (Gerald's Game) -- download

From a bland movie by a first time director, to a inventive sequel by someone we already liked. We have done his previous movies Hush,  Before I Wake, Oculus and one of my favourites Absentia. If there is anything that ties together Flanagan's style is that he infuses a mythology, a structure behind the horror & terrors he gives us. Where the first just tossed in some scary aspects of evil ghosts from a family of occult hucksters, Flanagan goes back and explores that family.

The Zander family run a psychic business bilking people with fabricated seances and readings. They are down on their luck, having lost the man of the house. Its the 60s so that made things all the more difficult. One of the daughters brings a Ouija board back to the house and things go awry, as the youngest daughter becomes the conduit for dark forces.

In most movies, like the first, the dark spirits would be just that -- bad people who died but are still doing bad things. Or good people who died horrible deaths and are vengeful. But this one finds darker things drawn to a house where dark things had been done. Its not just the spirits of the dead, but worse things that were never people to begin with. We are given a world to think about, to ponder, while we are given the requisite jump scares.

31 Days of Halloween 2017: Ouija

2014, Stiles White (effects guy for Stan Winston Studio) -- download

I commend a guy coming up from the effects side of the business to direct his first horror movie, but sorry dude, that was the most formulaic, boring thing we have seen in a few seasons. Good thing we were only watching it, so we could watch the sequel.

Olivia Cooke, who we know from The Quiet Ones and The Signal, joins us again as an American highschool student with a close knit group of friends who are about to be fucked by the supernatural. Her best friend Debbie seems disturbed by her Ouija board (under license from Hasbro; was this movie part of the string of boardgame movies like Battleship?!?!) and hangs herself. The rest of the movie is around Laine (Cooke) trying to find out why. But she does a terrible job, as the rest of her friends are picked off one by one. How were they to know they were in a formulaic horror movie?

Formulas are fine, as long as they do something creative, trying something new, or are well directed or shot. This is not. This is typical, not terrible, just so blandly typical.

I wonder if it led to a drop in sales of the Hasbro game?

31 Days of Halloween 2017: The Devil's Candy

2015, Sean Byrne (The Loved Ones) -- netflix

Hey, its that guy from The Walking Dead; no it's THAT guy from The Walking Dead. That guy is familiar face Ethan Embry, one of those guys who is in everything, but never in a major role. I remember him starring in FreakyLinks, a short lived (very short) series that spun off the popularity of Blair Witch Project. Interestingly enough, he is not at all recognizable as himself with the full on metal look -- straggly hair and a beard.

Jesse is a struggling painter, forced to do butterfly commissions and move his family to the country. The house to buy is, of course, that one that no one else will buy. So the Metal Family buy it because, Metal ain't afraid of no ghosts. Almost instantly Jesse is hearing ghostly evil whispers and begins painting truly Metal horrific stuff, which catches the eye of the owner of the local gallery Belial.

You might think I am mocking the Metal aspect of this movie, but really, its great. Jesse and his family are tight knit, and he keeps on trying to do right by them, despite the creepy voices driving him to distraction. When the even creepier son of the family that originally owned the house, a decidedly scary Pruitt Taylor Vince in a red track suit, who has already succumbed to the voices, sets his eyes on their Metal daughter, Jesse must fight all the influences to protect them.

This is a great movie! As the followup to the wonderful The Loved Ones, Byrne does a masterful job, not really seeking to capture any particularity that made his first one so popular. Embry really stands out as Metal Dad cum Jesus, but even if you don't like his performance, you might just be distracted by his buff tattooed torso, as she spends much of the movie shirtless.

31 Days of Halloween 2017: Pet

2016, Carles Torrens (Apartment 143) -- download

Well, I didn't expect that.

I knew this was a kidnap movie, one where a creepy stalker guy (Dominic Monaghan) fixates on a waitress (Ksenia Solo) and puts her in a cage... so he can help her. I knew this was a movie where she turns the tables on him, and I assumed it would be a psychological thriller with lots of dialogue between the two, eventually leading to her outwitting him. We have long passed the point where we question if we can include those in our Halloween watching. They work.

What I didn't expect was... well, if you care to see spoiler free, move on to my next movie... holy crap, she's the psycho. Oh, they don't lessen the fact that he is a stalker guy who was being overtly creepy to begin with, but you know, bus crushes and all. But the cage, the cage had a defined purpose. Solo is a psycho killer and his stalking revealed that to him.

The movie does a masterful job of giving us hints that something is not right about Holly the waitress. At first we think her stress has created an invisible roommate, and we go with that. Sure, something tragic happened in her past, and her best friend hangs around. But then we learn that her best friend was her first kill. And it just kept on going. Stalker Boy wants to convince her of how wrong she is, how his love can reform her. Yeah, not so much dude.

The tables are turned, but not in the way we expected, and in the end Stalker Boy is almost the most sympathetic character. So much for love wins all.

31 Days of Halloween 2017: Under the Shadow

2016, Babak Anvari -- Netflix

Under the Shadow is a Farsi language horror movie set in Tehran during the Iran-Iraq war, written and directed by Iranian born Babak Anvari and shot in Jordan. Other than the fact it is primarilt British produced, there can be nothing further from Hollywood than this movie. And that's always a breath of fresh air.

The movie is unrepentant in its upset at the political regime at the time, placing at the centre a young woman who was studying to be a doctor when the Iranian Cultural Revolution happened. She is resentful of her loss and her imposed new life as only a wife and mother. Like in The Babadook, she is not presented as a saint, but a woman living through her challenges as best he can, which are not helped at all by the fear of shelling and rocket raids from Iraq. So, her life is a little tense, and probably not the best time to be haunted by a dark spirit.

I love how the idea of a haunting can be transplanted from country to country with pretty much the same structure. The the west, it is a ghost or demon. In Japan or China, we have a multitude of evil spirits to choose from. And in Iran, we get a djinn. But no, not a fancy wind spirit willing to give out wishes, but an evil air sprite that wraps them-self in the image of the dead or a voluminous blanket. But wind spirit, nonetheless -- they are able to switch a gentle night's breeze from the common branches battering window panes to a chilling example of a fluttering curtain. And the jump scares are classic, literally had me diving to the other side of the sofa.

Loved it.

31 Days of Halloween 2017: The Exorcist S1 and Channel Zero S2

2016, Fox -- Netflix

Its nice that you can rely on genre TV of late to plug in some viewing time, when you don't have a chance to watch another movie. Even if you leave out the ones we do not watch (American Horror Story) there is always something we haven't seen or caught up on yet. The Exorcist was one such.

Critically acclaimed usually means there is a good reason to watch it, especially so in genre, triply so in horror. And damn does this show earn it. It takes the original premise of the movie(s) and turns its head (ba dump bump), expands upon it and one up's everything.

It gives us the typical upscale Chicago family, tosses in some family tragedy, a couple of priests and a conspiracy of demons. In many ways, it reminded me of Outcast in that demons are in more than just one little girl, but scattered about, in the streets and in the homeless and in the... well, let's just say its more pervasive than anyone expects. This is not just about exorcising one girl, but so much more.

The world building in this show is grand. It sets itself apart from the movie by expanding the scope, and then draws itself BACK into the canon with the most startling reveal. It gives the demons... motivation? And while it never once leaves its Christian background, you can easily see that this show includes the rest of the world. The only thing missing is the seasoned exorcist Marcus reaching out for demon hunters from other religions, as he begins expanding his understanding of what his power is vs His power.

2017, SyFy -- Download

Last year we watched season one of Channel Zero, sub-titled Candle Cove. This year we have No-End House. They are not connected.

The No-End House is an internet phenomena, much in the way creepy pasta is, but in this world the cool kids are aware of a haunted house attraction that you only learn via social media posts and direct SMS messages. Nobody knows who runs it, nobody knows how they connect to you so savvy, but fi you get an invite, how can you not go? And it just shows up somewhere in your town, somewhere in the world. People never know where.

The house itself has six rooms. Each room is scarier than the last. Each room seems drawn from your own psyche, personally tailored to what frightens you to your soul. Our main characters speculate how they do it, but everyone thinks it has to be some massive marketing campaign or just skilled social media hunters. Until they end up in the last few rooms.

And then there is room six. Boom, the premise just explodes. Room six is its own world, a world built around the handful of kids who makes it through -- their neighbourhood in fact. But its not OUR world, its a pocket dimension where the dead come back, the hungry dead that do not want your brains but your memories. They want what you have, the outside world.

This show is fucking creepy, earning the moniker quite easily. The visuals are again, like first season, bizarre and disturbing and often unlike anything you have seen, unless you are well versed in genre horror from every possible source. There is Asian horror there, there is Manga and European stylistic choices and good old American horror in the suburbs.

31 Days of Halloween 2017: It Comes at Night

2017, Trey Edward Schults (Krishna) -- download

Damn, when I am coming home work stressed and tired and upset and suffering sleep deprivation, maybe the first thing I watch shouldn't be a psychological thriller with shades of post-apocalyptic malaise and .... wait for it... scary wooded areas after dark. Really, the latter is fine, but the human interaction of people living in a tough situation, and just making the worst of it, really pushed my personal anxiety through the roof. But I am ok, we did a Brooklyn 99 palate cleanser.

It Comes at Night is a plague story. Paul, Kim and Travis live in a secured house in the wilderness. There is a disease ravaging the world, and the movie starts with them putting down Travis's grandfather, covered in sores and barely coherent. Travis was obviously close to his grandfather but also affected by his father's seemingly cold pragmatism.

They live alone having no outside contact. Everything is boarded up and there is only one entrance, a mudroom with a single well locked red door. This protective solitude is interrupted when Will breaks in. After some zealous overreaction, Paul allows Will to bring his family to live with them. Maybe protection in numbers will help.

We know its a mistake; its always a mistake. But how? Most of it centres around Travis, a 17 year old obviously suffering loss and isolation anxiety. His constant nightmares and fixation on Will's young wife don't help the matter. And then there is the paranoia of the disease. Even though they constantly wear gas masks outside and wash and cover themselves, and check for ... cracks between the fingers (??) ... they don't really seem sure of how it is transmitted nor how to properly check. The dark outside is terrifying and full on danger, but from what? Anything.

Living with constant fear and anxiety is not easy, especially when everything is out of your control. Paul tries his best with his controlling measures, but you can see the weight it has on him. Travis is broken by it and the new family is not sure of what they have come into. Where is the horror, what comes at night? Fear. Just fear, sticky and more contagious than the disease.

31 Days of Halloween 2017: Blair Witch

2016, Adam Wingard (You're Next) -- download

In case you haven't guessed, this season we will be doing a number of series. Marmy wanted to see the previous movies, leading up to this one by a director we have come to enjoy. His previous flick, The Guest, might be drawn from the "seen before October" pile to round out any nights we might miss. Yes, I cheat. Sue me.

So, thankyou but this one forgets the second one existed, but for some light inspiration. It picks up almost 20 years later with James, the younger brother of Heather dragging along some friends, one of who is making a documentary -- well, duh, that's the schtick. The best bit is the comparison, as we see all the current tech that she is using including earpiece cams, drone cams, small portable cams, etc. They are meeting up with a local Burkittsville couple who claim to have found a lost tape connected to Heather. James has been obsessed with finding his sister, since she disappeared when he was four. Or at the very least, finding out what exactly happened to her.

The funny thing about this one, is that it is actually about the Blair Witch. The first never gave us any real antagonist, unless you count the woods themselves. The second only had hallucinations and visions, but who knows and who cares where they came from. But this one delves deep and adds a mythology to the series.

While the movie does the expected stuff, of weird things happening in the woods and a state of constantly being lost, it adds in some metaphysical and timey wimey bendy wendy stuff that was a lot of fun. Not long after the crew drives off the local flavour couple, they do a roundabout in the woods, and end up right back at the camp they had spent the night before. And then out of the dark woods, the local couple appears, all frazzled and half way to nuts --- they claim to have been wandering the woods for five days, or more accurately, five nights; no dawn has ever come. Ooooo, pocket dimension!

After some rather tension pushed to 11 time, they end up at That House, the house from the first movie, not the Rustom Parr house, cuz that was burned down. So, the unexplained house that is definitely 20th century, but... who built it? But this is the house where Heather disappeared so in go James and the documentarian Lisa. And who is after them? Yes, the actual Blair Witch, who seems more monster than wicca woman.

What I really liked about this one, besides some novel ways of referencing the last two movies (even though the second never really happened) was the creepy world it built. The Witch is drawing people in, and when she finds appropriate sacrifices, they are not allowed to leave the wood. It becomes impossible. I gather she enjoys their fear, maybe it tastes better. And then, of course, she makes sure the tapes and digital footage can be found (or we would not be watching a movie) so they next cycle can pick up.

Also, neat way to hide the fact he was making the third --- by doing all the initial hype as a movie called "The Woods".

31 Days of Halloween 2017: Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2

2000, Joe Berlinger (mostly documentaries) -- download

Umm, I am not even sure there is any book in the movie.

That was just terrible. It starts off decently enough, throwing back meta to the popularity generated by the first movie, but assuming that most of the viewing fans thought it was a true documentary. Burkittsville has become a haven for people who want to wander the woods and experience the scares. Jeff (a very young Jeffrey Donovan) has a thriving business doing tours. This one gathers Stephen and Tristen, researching a book, Erica the Wiccan who wants to commune with the Blair Witch to calm her down (she is giving witches a bad rep!) and Kim the Hollywood Goth, who claims to be a medium.

 They spend their first night in the woods, near some ruins, only to waken in the morning to find their camp trashed. Cameras are smashed, tents are wrecked and all the book research is shredded into confetti. Umm, why did you bring ALL your book material into the woods with you? Nobody remembers what happened the night before. Then Goth Girl has a vision of where tapes are hidden and the accusations begins, a small nod to the first as tension quickly rises. And then Tristen has a miscarriage (!!!).

The rest of the movie is spent at Jeff's abandoned warehouse turned crash pad. Why? The bunch must be tired and traumatized; why didn't they just go their separate ways, i.e. go home? But whatever, the bulk of the movie is not in any woods, but focused around hallucinations and paranoia and ghostly visions and owls while they hide out inside the warehouse. Its all rather boring Straight To Video horror movie.

From what I learned, Berlinger had a movie more focused on mass hysteria, but the studio wanted something more in the way of a traditional sequel. So, they just re-shot and re-edited his movie and produced this trash.

31 Days of Halloween 2017: The Blair Witch Project

Starting in 2011 we (Marmy and I, as Kent is not that much of a horror fan) enjoyed celebrating the Halloween season (as soon as the candies hit the stores) by watching too many horror / Halloween related movies, most of them bad.  2012 had a few flicks but not the full month. Un/Re-employment kill 2013. Apathy killed 2014. But we returned in 2015 with a full run. 2016 had a good start, but stalled in the last few days, likely due to work life. This year almost started with a fizzle, but then I remembered last night, "It's October 1st !"

1999,  Daniel Myrick, Eduardo Sánchez (not really much since) -- download

I saw this movie in the initial run, blind, via a free ticket from Marmy's TV station. I had no idea what was going on when I went in. Remember, in the late 90s, there was Internet Hype but the machine wasn't yet all pervasive. And there was not an established genre of "found footage". I fell right into the plot, the rough style and the fear. I was a guy brought up in the woods, so I knew very well the idea of being in a tent and getting spooked by every crack, cry and whistle in the woods. And I didn't even need myths or folk tales to make me scared.

But here I am almost 20 years later watching a bad download of a fullscreen format movie (was it fullscreen back then? really? it was a video camera, so....) with the weight of almost two decades of people trying to recreate the hype AND almost two decades of listening to people who didn't buy into the premise, especially if they didn't see it during the original run. Post-hype, the movie just does not stand up. This is a movie best scene with little to none background on it. It does not hold up well to scrutiny now.

But I still liked it. I like how they let the stress of these filmmakers ratchet up the tension in you so that when they start to break down, it seems natural, and you may buy into it. Face it, these kids are dicks. They go into the woods unprepared, without any real plan of where they are going. She never admits she doesn't know where they are going, and they never actually find the graveyard where the witch was known to haunt. In fact they never find anything really witch related. Sure, there are all the fetishes and stone cairns that cement the fear in them, but nothing truly witchy happens. Its more psycho hillbilly stuff, owing more to the followup story about the man who killed children in his basement and the ... woodsmen who are found murdered.

Much of the post release hype has been around the ambiguous ending and what exactly happened. It left it to the viewers to explain themselves, and while I am eager to buy into the explanation that Josh (the camera man) was the likely culprit and murderous friend, I am not sure you can truly accept that from what we get. For one, who would have done all the weird sounds of children crying and cackles in the dark? And of course, if we are going to go with that, we need some sort of motive. We are never given that.

I am left knowing we will continue with the sequel and the NEW one, but already knowing the second sucked. But tomorrow will tell.

3 Short Paragraphs: The Intern

2015, Nancy Meyers (What Women Want) -- Netflix

From White Saviour to Old White Guy Saviour. Robert De Niro is a wealthy retiree who takes a senior internship at the wildly success Internet startup owned by Anne Hathaway.  I can only assume Hathaway is playing a younger role, as 35 is not all that young to be running a successful web-business, and the premise is that she is supposed to be young and inexperienced, despite her success. He comes into the company at the same time her VC investors want her to take on a CEO, to handle the business side of stuff, while she steps back and focuses on .... other things? She is not too keen on that idea.

For most part, the movie is typical chick flick charming and surprisingly, Robert De Niro, whom we are more used to playing cantankerous or intimidating, is rather convincing as the affable old business guy. Much of the movie has him bolstering her confidence, making sure she understands she was the founder and that the company couldn't be where it was without her. But there are some off inserts of him and his old school business acumen coming to the rescue. I preferred him as mentor, not saviour, especially as he makes friends with the other interns hired at the same time as him.

Hired? I got a strong feeling, though it was never said outright, that these were classic interns, i.e. no or little pay; below entry level. For him, presented as a classic business man who worked hard and earned success and money, its fine. But for the others, I doubt they could afford their NY / Brooklyn digs on such money. The idea that even today people are supposed to be happy for the "opportunities" presented to them, secondary to the economic compensation they deserve, irks the fuck out of me. But American Dream and all, blah blah blah. Still, a decent light little movie.

3 Short Paragraphs: The Legend of Tarzan

2016, David Yates (Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them) -- download

I knew little of this movie but that Margot Robbie was a breathless, sweaty Jane, and Alexander Skarsgård was a shirtless, ripped Tarzan. So, something for everyone. What I didn't know was that the movie was basically a sequel to all the modern Tarzan movies that never existed. Its like Yates went to the table with this movie as a reboot slash sequel slash homage to a popular franchise that never existed. What have we had from the Rice Borough stories in the past 30 years? A handful of incredibly bad movies with beefcakes (Caspar Van Diem, Christopher Lambert and Miles O'Keeffe) that you would not heard of, and that Disney cartoon. The last one was the best.

The movie begins with Lord Greystoke in England, after the Tarzan years, living his Lord-ship with his American (???) wife Jane. They are being encouraged to head back to Africa, the Congo, either as an envoy for Belgium (which has just taken control of the Congo) or for America, which has suspicions that Belgium is making slaves of the Congolese people to help pay of debts. Its a convoluted story worthy of a Bond script. What is happening behind the scenes is that Belgium can collect a massive amount of diamonds from a tribal leader, if they bring Tarzan back to Africa so he can extract revenge.

The movie is actually rather successful in its use of flashbacks, to remind or introduce us to what Tarzan was. It is not successful in dispensing with the White Saviour trope, though it tries. We live in an age where I am not sure we can take a Tarzan Lord of the Apes seriously. Only a white man can come along and make friends with the animals AND the black locals, and save them from other white men? I get that stories from past ages are rife with the social constructs that existed at the time, but I am challenged of what their places are in today's story telling. But putting that challenge, this movie looks so good, a truly epic looking view into an Africa long gone.

3+1 Short Paragraphs: The Hunt for the Wilderpeople

2016, Taika Waititi (Thor: Ragnarok) -- Netflix

Marmy made me watch this, as she had watched it prior during one of my Boys Night Out. We both watch stuff alone, usually me and my disaster flicks or Star Trek and she and her "ghostie shows". But if she recommends I watch something, it is with good reason. And damn, again with the best praise I can come up with is to swear. Waititi makes a movie that is funny, poignant, sad and entirely engaging. See? Weaksauce praise sentence. I need to work on those; pointing out the terrible bits of a movie is so much easier.

Ricky is a tough little troublemaker in the foster child system. He is sent by a zealous child care agent to live with a couple in a remote part of New Zealand. After a rocky start, Ricky sees that Bella really wants things to be better for him. His gangsta attitude doesn't really fit into the rural area, but she doesn't care and gives him love anyway. Her cranky old coot husband Hec (Sam Neill) barely tolerates Ricky. Then she dies. Holey crap; I did not expect that.

With a return to the system as his only choice, Ricky tries to run away but gets lost in the woods, found by Hec, who in turn injures himself. In the weeks they camp out, while Hec recovers, they get to understand each other more. But the outside world has assumed Hec has kidnapped Ricky. Comedic misunderstanding ensues.

Normally I hate the bratty gangsta kid. But damn, if Julian Dennison as Ricky is just downright charming. He wants to be that urban kid, but like most of them, only seems to know the sub-culture from American TV. He stylizes everything he does, even when presented with the Kiwi wilderness. And carries it through the hero's journey he is presented with. Totally wonderful movie.

3 Short Paragraphs: Baby Driver

2017, Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead) -- download

This is the movie Edgar Wright got to make when he walked away from Ant Man. And damn, good on him! This is the kind of movie where the director / writer got to do what he wanted to do, exactly what he wanted to do. And again, DAMN. In case you haven't guessed, I loved this movie. It is in no way perfect, a bit lop-sided and unfocused, but so what, every disconnected bit was just wonderful on its own, adding up to a fun experience that I may just go see again in the theatre, just because, owing to the world we live in, where a proper download exists even before the movie disappears from the theatres. And because, of all the movies from this summer, this one is just sticking around, which means its making constant money. Good on Wright!

Baby is a driver (duh!), a driver for thuggish bank robbers, bank rolled (pun intended) by mastermind Kevin Spacey. Spacey hires a different gang every time, but keeps Baby on the payroll to drive, and to pay off his own debt to Spacey. Baby has a condition, rather benign (tinnitus) but because he keeps earbuds in his ears all the time, and is constantly being drawn along by the music, people think he is .... odd. He is, but not in a bad way. Baby distracts himself with music, not just from the ring, but from the harsh reality of it all. The world seems to play along, building musical montages that seem made for him and the song on his iPod. Either that, or he choreographs every element of his life to the songs playing, like he does his driving plans. This movie loves music as much as Baby does.

Like all caper and/or driver movies, Baby wants to redeem and all because of a girl. But Spacey needs him to continue working, despite having paid off his debt in the first job starring Jon Bernthal, John Hamm and Eiza González. But his obsession with the girl, and getting out, ruins the Next Job which you could say begins ruined by having psychopath Batts along, and re-using Hamm and González. But damn, are we glad they are back. Jamie Fox may be annoying as the kill happy Batts, but Hamm and González (From Dusk Til Dawn [TV]) are just so grand to watch on screen, we knew they HAD to be back; too bad about the jinx it causes.