31 Days of Halloween: Onslaught

2026, Adam Wingard (Death Note) -- download

This was tagged "military slasher" by most sites, which is why I allowed it to come into the series, knowing the plot would provide some connection to the slasher sub-genre of horror, even if it was about super soldiers taking on a PTSD Veteran.  I knew I would get an ultra-violent shoot-em-up, but what I wasn't expecting was a highly stylized, almost surreal, more-than-a-bit wacky film... maybe as far as farce ? Coming out of the movie, and kind-of remembering Wingard's name, I was thinking I would find out he was one of the self-styled auteur film makers know for a bunch of low-budget violent flicks, but I was not expecting the guy who did Godzilla vs Kong, but I now see it, remembering how wack-a-doodle that movie was, in comparison to the previous two.

So, we have Dr. Hans Kammler (Dan Stevens, Legion) awakened by his dom (as in, BDSM) wife telling him he is needed at the facility. Kammler is a Nazi scientist working in the US. Kammler is played by an almost unrecognizable Dan Stevens in an absolute terrible bald cap -- perfectly smooth, perfectly dome-shaped. He is flown by helicopter to the underground facility in the New Mexico desert, where we learn of his program to take reported-dead soldiers known for their aggressive personalities (by aggressive, I mean the kind who commit atrocities on a daily basis) and turn them into glowey-eyed super-soldiers. The first three prototypes are Crybaby, Cockroach, and the Butcher. Kammler has been summoned to oversee their first government observed field-test.

They go rogue and slaughter everyone, Kammler included. He dies... happy. And then they break out of the facility and into the desert. Meanwhile Kammler's dom wife (Rebecca Hall, Iron Man 3) activates a "cleaner" agent (Drew Starkey, The Devil All the Time), also involved in his own BDSM extracurricular activities (lots of gimp masks), to investigate the alarm at her husband's facility.

Nearby, at the mobile home trailer park of Windy Oasis lives PTSD-engulphed ex-Army Sniper Celeste (Adria Arjona, Hit Man). Like all of these vets, she's a bit high strung, constantly startling at shadows and memories, and likes to spend most of her time either drinking or shooting pumpkins in the desert, with her vast collection of automatic weapons. She also has a daughter, whom she loves dearly, but is clearly not suited to supporting. Her ex drops the little girl off for an unplanned weekend visit, just before the super soldiers come to town.

Aaaaand begin the titular onslaught.

To be frank, its disappointing and only mildly entertaining. For one, they don't even give Celeste access to that big stash of heavy weapons she has locked up. The actual onslaught seems.... curbed? They super soldiers slaughter everyone but Celeste, her daughter and another old vet named Josiah. There's only three of them, and while they can get up after getting shot, they don't walk off being dismembered, or headshots. Since the movie was most obviously going for a classic slasher (Jason Vorhees/Michael Myers) vibe, including the John Carpenter-ish soundtrack and fonts for titling, they monsters go down surprisingly fast. Usually I love me some style but the movie seems more concerned with it than with the actual climactic battle.

Meh.