3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): The Baker

2022, Jonathan Sobol (The Art of the Steal) -- Netflix

The second in the Darius Films Cayman Island production movies available on Netflix. I really hope that all the films produced in the deal are about older men of violence hiding out on the islands. Except, this one doesn't even try to be set on the islands, unless they are pretending the nameless skyline depicted is not Miami? But maybe the deal is just about pumping money into the island economy by making movies there, and not so much about being set there. 

Anywayz, Peter (Joel David Moore, Avatar) is picking up someone at the airport when he witnesses an altercation between two groups of Bad Guys, something concerning a small pink satchel. The two end up killing each other, and initially Peter starts to call 911 but, of course, he picks up the pink bag instead. At home, he tries to do right by his adolescent daughter, who he has a contentious relationship with, but that doesn't go well. So, he drops her with his estranged father, a retired absentee dad who runs a small bakery. Pappi (Ron Perlman, Hellboy) doesn't like the idea but Peter doesn't give him much of a choice. Buuuut Peter's plans go awry, as is the way of stupid people who try to con the Bad Guys. They kill Peter, but not before he alerts his dad. Delphi, the granddaughter swapped out the contents of the pink bag for her own junk -- the Bad Guys want it back.

This is not a very good movie, but it was leaps & bounds above the last one. Sure, its pretty much the same plot, of a retired dangerous man, at odds with his adult kid, getting tied to a grandchild he has no connection to, but being forced out of "retirement" to take care of things. But this one had some style, a tone about it, and it has Perlman being his usual huge, scary self. I won't deny this is sort of my schtick, but I won't call it a Man with Guns (or guns tag) category movie, as its not really about the guns. They don't try to do the barely thought through ex-government assassin gimmick of the Nick Cage movie, just show a man who is used to violence, but very aware he's been out of the game for a while.

The weird thing, in this being one of the Darius deal movies, is the shared actors. In the Cage movie, Perlman was the supporting, oafish thug who dies too soon, and here he is the titular baker. His son Peter, played by Joel David Moore was the double-crossing government agent in the Cage movie, and is probably wearing the same suit in both. And there are a few other lesser know faces re-used here. Its an odd, but interesting dynamic.

And there was one other small, not fully explored aspect of the movie that made me respect the director more than I expected. The primary Bad Guy, played by Elias Koteas (Exotica), is the typical second-ringer in a criminal organization, but Koteas plays him rather fatigued, not completely invested in what he is forced to do, not all that surprised when he dies at the hands of Pappi, for killing his son. It could have been in the script, or it could have just been Koteas exploring his character's motivations, but he wasn't phoning it in.

What about the baking?!?!

And no, the baking is not really any part of the movie. We do get a Hallmarkie level opening sequence but you can see that Perlman only learned just enough about baking to shoot the scene. Once again, the baking shots are all afterthoughts, illogical and there is no way a single man could do all that, without any employees.

T&K's XMas (2023) Advent Calendar: Day 15 - Baking All the Way

2022, Yannick Bisson (Murdoch Mysteries) -- Amazon

The Draw: A) It's about baking, cookies in particular. B) Its starring and directed by Mr. Murdoch Mystery himself, Montreal-born Yannick Bisson. I am sure there have been other examples in the Hallmarkie world where the lead was also the director, but I would imagine they would be Hallmarkie royalty, instead of just one of the most familiar Canadian faces on Canadian TV.

HERstory: Julia Wilson (Cory Lee, Degrassi: The Next Generation) is a pastry chef & successful cookbook author in Chicago. Its almost Xmas but she hasn't submitted the final recipe for her latest book, which is all about highlighting the best cookie recipes from around the country -- basically people send her recipes and she reaps the fame. But one final cookie alludes her -- the gingerbread cookie -- because nothing compares to the one she made with her late mother. That is, until she gets an anonymous gift basket from a bakery in ______, Wisconsin. Perfection! 

Why can't I ever remember the names of these PSTs?

So, Julia has to head off to secure the recipe, at the beginning of the Xmas rush season, but she has a sous chef that can run the place while she is gone. She arrives in the PST, checks into the quaint B&B run by the weird Mr. Weaver (Colin Mochrie, Degrassi: The Next Generation [i guess he played the Picard character?]) and his wife Vicky (Debra McGrath; Colin's actual wife, Degrassi: The Next Generation), who fangirls all over Julia.

The HomeStead Bakery, from which the basket came, is your typical PST bakery run with love and care and tradition, so its losing all its business to the new "corporate bakery" across the street. Also, its owner Kris Kringle Thompson (Yannick Bisson, Degrassi: The Next Generation Murdoch Mysteries) never heard of Julia and definitely did not send her a gift basket. Also, his recipe is not for sale, as its a family recipe and not his to give away. You know Kris, your mom (Jayne Eastwood, Degrassi: The Next Generation) is right behind you, and if its her recipe, couldn't she give it away?

Anywayz, not to be defeated, industrious Julia comes up with a plan. If she can increase Homestead Bakery's business by X amount before Xmas, Kris will owe her big time. He's swimming in overdue bills so he regretfully agrees. But what will she bake? The gingerbread recipe, of course! But not just cookies, but a whole array of gingerbread inspired recipes!! The 12 Days of Gingerbread !!

Time to brainstorm!! Like most bakeries where the only employee is him, and occasionally his mom, it doesn't hurt that he avoids actually baking, or running the shop, because he has to plan plan plan. Its also accomplished by montages, so that helps. They come up with some great ideas, and dismiss some others (I dunno, gingerbread soup sounds like a great idea to me ;) 

Some days are winners, some days not so much but things are going well and Kris is all swoony for this young (15 years his junior) successful pastry chef and business owner, even warming up to her ideas that put him out of his comfort zone (radio hits!) and feelings that he hasn't had since his Dead Wife. Things progress so well that he even gives her the recipe before they hit Day 12. 

Meanwhile she's being pressure by her agent and the publishers, so she snaps the recipe with her phone to tide them over. Lo and Behold, it all ends up going to print without her review and approval, and she is asked to Come Back for Meetings. She regretfully agrees, but when she tells Kris she has business obligations, he goes ape shit, "You got my recipe and now you are running!!"  I mean, he's right, but she does have to work work work. 

Gramma sees the jig is up and finally shares with Julia the history of the recipe, which was as much her mother's as it was Gramma's. They have a tearful conversation, and Julia heads back to the B&B to check out early. Gramma chastises Kris for being a dick, and his heart grows three sizes. Meanwhile Julia is on the road when she hears the radio hit she and Kris worked on, for the bakery, and her heart grows three sizes. She turns around, returns to the bakery, they make up and kiss, and hopefully they will live happily ever after, but.... 12 days of good Xmas sales doesn't make for a successful business and she DOES have a resto to run, so... maybe until summer?

Dude, you burning out on these already?

The Formulae: Utterly by the numbers for a Hallmark movie, even to the point that the elevator for this pitch is the same pitch as last year's A Gingerbread Christmas, minus the Food Network style competition. The Big City Girl, the PST, the failing business, the homey PST Guy, the successful Gal, the reason to stay in the PST for Xmas, the sudden return for work work work and the final realization that making googley eyes overshadows all. But  there are also some cookies (duhhh!) and hot chocolates (finally, a gingerbread latte).

Unformulae: A strange lack of the usual Xmas Tropes that I usually use to pad out the list above? There is no Xmas Event, there is no Xmas Fair, there is no Xmas Tree Hunt, there is a brief snowball fight, but there is a decidedly lack of Xmas in this Xmas movie. No red dress, but Julia does have a lovely red winter coat.

True Calling? There is references to baking, and cookies galore, but not a whole lot of actual baking to be scene, if you don't count seeing Kris slam down some gingerbread dough in anger just after Julia heads back to Chicago. Hey Kris, don't take it out on the cookies!

The Rewind: I did pause to look at the gingerbread recipe list (ok, I fess up, there was no Gingerbread Soup on it) but the pause and rewind, and a bit of Googling was for the chuckle bit at the end of the movie. When Julia is on the road, she hears a song come on the radio, and turns it of with, "Nope, enough of that!" Yeah, Cory Lee is a pop singer (though, I never heard of her) and that was her Xmas Song. 

The Regulars: Gramma Jayne Eastwood is not only a queen of Canadian TV movies, but definitely a staple in Hallmarkie land, and was even in the starting movie of Netflix's brief foray into the Hallmarkie Cinematic Universe, A Knight Before Christmas. Lead Cory Lee has done a few before this one, but this is her first Lead. 

How does it Hallmark? Entirely by the book of Hallmark in structure, but sorely lacking for a Hallmarkie XMAS movie.

How does it movie? Bleah.

How Does It Snow? Grrr. Even though there was a brief snowball fight, after which Julia leaves the snow on her face (don't ruin your makeup by wiping it away!!) there are so many scenes where they come in covered in "snow" which just stays on their shoulders and hair for the rest of the scene, cuz soap flakes don't melt.

Migawd I hate that poster, and while there was a better "all the cast" version, I had to use this most common poster cuz its so terrible. Look at my cookies!  LOOK ! And who is she looking at? Its not Kris.

Also of note, is that my Amazon Hallmarkie Inception might soon come to an end. In November, when I conceived the idea as an alternate to my usual "read lists, download ideas", there were TONS of "free to view" on Amazon. These have slowly dropped off, to be replaced by more on Stack TV, which despite being a source of legit W Network Hallmarkies, I refuse to entertain because of their inserted-commercial setup. If I am PAYING for a service, why would I also have to watch ads?

Hallmarkie Preview: Deliver by Christmas

Kent I started a silly thing a few years ago, wherein we watch too many Hallmark Christmas movies. I started ironically, he only semi-did, but over the years, he has somewhat tired of them, and I have ... well, come to look forward to this time of year. Entirely unironically.

This year has been emotionally draining. I needed a boost. So Marmy gave me permission to start watching them once the music was playing in the malls and the Santas had begun to visit there. That was this weekend past. I don't intend on ODing on them, just a few here and there, but come Dec wherein I will switch to our usual HallmarKent format.

2020, Terry Ingram (The Christmas Note) -- download

The Draw: I downloaded it a few years ago, but never got to it. One of the leads is a baker! And it has our favourite low-rent Paul Rudd, Eion Bailey, which is entirely unfair because we both know him from Band of Brothers which was long before Rudd came on our radar. Alas, Hollywood can be cruel and so can its viewers.

HERstory: I am pretty sure the PST is not named until late in the movie, but here we are. Josh(y) (Eion Bailey, From) and his son Charlie(y) live next door to Josh's brother Jimmy (Jim Thorburn, Engaging Father Christmas) and his wife Amy (Julie Lynn Mortensen, Van Helsing). Mom is absent, and it takes a while for us to guess "she never came back", as mom was a soldier mom. Across town, Molly (Alvina August, Nancy Drew) is the baker in question, a single... oh, wait that's her niece. Joshy has just moved to PST (i think) and isn't doing anything so he volunteers to help his sister-in-law with her first time being in charge of the town tree lighting event + Xmas fair. She gives him a list.

Molly is just the single, hard-working baker not dating anyone. She works too hard. Far too hard, confirmed by the fact that her bakery has no staff, at all, so she does all the baking (stays up all night) and also works the counter, while also finding the time to just wander around town doing stuff with her niece and eventually with Joshy.

The two bump into each other when Joshy gropes her while picking the perfect tree at the Xmas tree lot. OK, he just accidentally brushes finger tips with her but, wooo-weee, snowflakey sparks fly. Joshy tells her all about the perfect tree and they almost have an awkward moment about who gets the tree, which is killed by the fact the tree is already sold. 

First on Joshy's fair errand list was baking cookies. He claims to know how. Charlie doesn't cover for him. While decorating the tree, he burns the fuck out of the cookies and ends up being connected with Molly for replacement cookies. He has trouble sleeping and replies to an email to Molly. She is up late (is 3:25am really late, or really early?) and answers said email. He is surprised and they end up talking on the phone, wherein she explains to him that the reason his cookies burned was due to the lack of chilling. I can tell you, 8-11 minutes in a 350 oven is fine for unchilled cookies, so his 9 minutes would have not caused crispy critters, so he fucked up somewhere else.

The rest of the movie is Joshy and Molly occasionally bumping into each other, wherein snowflakes fly, or texting/on-the-phone with each other, not connecting that they are the "bump into" people. Also, Jimmy and Amy and trying to setup Joshy up with Jessica-y (Fiona Vroom, Sailing Into Love), which doesn't go over well. AND Joshy tells Molly on the phone that he hasn't really gotten back to dating after his wife's death, and she tells him how she was left at the altar, and is pretty much of the same opinion on dating. And YET, while easily flirting with Guy On Phone, she is also feeling the snowflakes fly for Bump Into Guy, sooooo she kinda sort sounds like she's interested in dating. Eventually her sister convinces her to be honest, but after initially ruling out one misunderstanding (it's his sister-in-law, not his wife/GF) she has another more understandable one, when Joshy is pressured by Jessica-y to a date at the local steak & Italian joint. That scene really breaks her heart.

And it leads to Josh-y being stood up for gingerbread house decorating, an event he set up with her over the phone, and even convinced her to show up and assist. He masterfully built the town square stand and she was supposed to show with ingredients and expertise. Alas, she is heartbroken so never shows. Its also kind of weird, as Joshy is having crush-y feelings on two women (in his mind), one the Girl On Phone and one, the Bump Into Girl. By now Molly has connected the two together, but he hasn't. And there is the issue with introducing a new lady friend to Charlie. Charlie is his life. 

It all comes together when Molly's sister learns the truth of the date, and makes sure that Molly is coming to the tree lighting ceremony. And Charlie has confessed he really wanted Joshy to connect with Bump Into Girl cuz he heard she makes everyone around her happy, and he really wants his dad to be happy again. Molly shows up to the event in her semi-red dress (either way, rahhhr) and Josh finally gets it, and swoops in for the kiss.

The Formulae: There was a bit of the nod nod wink wink in some of the tropes for this movie, including the (more recent) vintage red pickup truck found at the Xmas tree lot, but also Molly had a gingerbread red pickup truck in the background. There is an event, the standard fare town centre Xmas tree lighting event, as well as a low-key Xmas fair going on. And of course, there is cocoa to be had, and the decorating of the tree picked at the lot. Ugly sweater contest -- that light-up, sloth Xmas sweater is incredible !! There is a Dead Mom and while not as common, a "left at the altar" ? I guess they have only so many ways to leave one of the leads currently single without everyone being dead. 

Unformulae: The PST aspect of the movie is entirely too far played down. Joshy has moved to his home PST from... California? Where ever he was a big software mogul. But the town is pretty much overlooked as the movie focuses on what's going on in the hearts & minds of our leads. There is also no desire to leave the PST, and nobody is stuck here - everyone is here to stay whether they get together or not. The red dress was mainly purple, but had a red... shawl? 

True Calling? Not at all. I mean, the only thing being delivered are the ingredients for the gingerbread making stall, and that is such a low-key aspect of the movie. I have a feeling it was supposed to be played up more in the script, but lost it to the charm of them chatting on the phone. 

The Rewind: Nothing really. In the more middle-road Hallmarkies, nothing is ever entirely stand-out terrible nor stand-out enjoyable.

The Regulars: I had to dive pretty far down the list to find someone who has even done more than a couple, and that would be Jimmy (Jim Thorburn, ) who has been in a metric ton of them, interspersed by the standard Canadian TV fare.

How does it Hallmark? It fills in the blanks with a lot of the tropes but from the formula, it meanders mostly down the "getting to know you" standard romantic genre movie path. Nothing really jumps out at you as "classic" Hallmarkie, which meant it was more a classic sugar cookie than a highly decorated gingerbread man.

How does it movie? No, not at all. And it even went so far as to annoy me, in that it kept on shoe-horning in some American military rah-rah. Sure, Dead Mom was a military nurse (why couldn't she has just been a soldier?) but the number of "thankyou for your service" moments felt entirely tacked on for some purple suit's agenda.

How Does It Snow? Grrr. They didn't even really try. There was one shaved-ice snowball fight and a snow fort made from... something, but the cotton batting sitting on the bushes and hedges really annoyed me. It looked like cotton batting and there was never even a hint of cold weather in the entire movie.

T&K's XMas (2022) Advent Calendar Day 24 - A Christmas to Savour

I screwed up my timing and counting and thought the last one was my last one but it turns out, if I had noticed I was evens and not odds, i would have caught on that Xmas Eve was mine. So, here we are with one more, watched on the morning of Xmas Eve as Winter Proper TM blows around outside.

Ed. Note: I got distracted by Xmas proper, and posted this late.

2021, Jessica Harmon (Fixing Up Christmas) -- download

How many of these movies are directed by women? I need to go back through the years to do a proper count, just from the ones we have watched, but I suspect the answer is "not many". And hey, look it's Dale Bossio from iZombie and ... fuuuuck... she has directed a LOT of Hallmarkies, and .... SNORT... just in the last few years. Goes to show how quickly even the OffBranders can pump these out!

This first one comes from Reel One, which I gather is one of the production companies feeding Lifetime? That said, its very apparent from the initial scenes that they put a bit more sugar & spice into their productions, with the sets and lines just a wee bit more.... movie like? 

Note: "Savour" with British/Canadian spelling just wouldn't cut in the American Hallmark-et, so it gets renamed???

The Draw: Cooking, Its about a chef, and food based, no matter how loose, can draw me in.

HERstory: The Big City. I am pretty sure its New Yorky, but they never say. Being one of those off-brand ones, I guess they needed to stay agnostic as to location, depending on whether they sold to only the Canadian market, or to the US ? Dunno, seems weird to not say it. Anywayz, Scarlett () is a chef in her own resto that she runs with her best friend Claire (). And despite some early acclaim and success, they have become stale, forcing their "angel investor" to reconsider his support. Claire blurts out that Scarlett is working on a new "holiday menu" and he is enthused. So, to become reacquainted with homey style cooking and Xmas Spirit, Claire sends Scarlett on a cooking class (???) in a PST in the mountains, that .... she has to take a flight to (???). Any cooking class in such a setting must be for the richy rich. And yeah, the fly over shots of the PST are more high end ski resort village than actual small town.

The class, in a chalet or Inn that seems to have no other guests other than those taking the cooking class, and happens to be run by her old culinary school rival James (). The guests are a mix of older couples, a newly engaged couple, and an empty nester mom. Not sure how he makes any money off doing this for less than a dozen people, unless they are shelling out the big bucks. Anywayz, James is amused she is there, but also eager to involve her in his passion project. 

James kicks things off by taking his students to the quaint little Xmas Market, where they are introduced to all the fun, Xmas-y items. And the next day, they are right into knife skills, where Scarlett contradicts James as to the best method, reminding him why they were rivals. And then they do meringue snowmen; TERRIBLE snowmen that should have been piped into nice balls, instead of spoon splatted blobs of white. 

But he keeps on interrupting his actual cooking lessons with visits outside with Scarlett, showing her maple syrup cooled on snow, taking her actually tobogganing (like, on a real snow covered hill!) and hot cocoa from one of the stands in that cute little market. 

Finally they get to making something, and this time it was supposed to be traditional gingerbread cookies, and she decides to do a ship in a bottle, which annoys James with its complexity. But she never actually DOES it, but instead (ed note: she tosses flour, sugar and eggs into a bowl -- that IS NOT HOW YOU BAKE SCARLETT) she makes a rather fetching looking Gingerbread Tiramisu. I want that; now please? But that was not the lesson, Scarlett and you are yet again pissing off James.

During one of the "getting to know each other better for no real reason", she confesses the reasons he has so much trouble conceiving a traditional Xmas menu is that she never had a traditional Xmas dinner. Her family has been running restos all her life, and while she grew up in a kitchen, it was never a familiar family dinner. Meanwhile James had a brief resto experience which ended badly so he opted for teaching, where the gratitude of his students always outweighed the stress and anxiety of the high end kitchen 

When Scarlett is not jaunting around with James, or annoying him in the kitchen, she is on the phone. A lot. I guess this replaces the scenes in most Hallmarkies where the Female Lead walks around with a friend or Mom talking the girl talk. At least she talks by holding the phone to her ear, instead of holding it out in front of her face like Claire does. I hate people doing that.

Eventually, she tries to do a Grand Gesture and invites a food critic whom is trying to get her to leave her own resto, for his, to come to the unnamed PST to meet with James. James gets rather pissed about it, because he told her that he was glad he was out of the biz. but here she is trying to get him back into it. After the row, we see her in her car. Like, one tiff and she is gone? And I mean, real gone. The next scene she is back in The Big City at her resto.

But despite there not being any real COOKING scenes in the cooking class, she has come back to TBC with inspiration and a new menu. Traditionally in these movies, we are expecting her to realize she was happier in the PST with her new beau and willing to give up on her dreams for a new guy. I am glad that is not how this goes, as just after her new holiday menu is a BIG success and the angel investor is overjoyed, James shows up with his own confession. While he hated she pushed it upon her, he realized that it was maybe the kind of pressure he needed and is grateful. And he wants to show how much he appreciates it.

A year later the resto is once again still popular, and James has a cookbook out showing that he was able to work outside his comfort zone and she did NOT give up on her dreams.

I just wished they had done some cooking in the movie.

The Formulae: The departure from TBG to the PST is rather artificial, but its there. The Xmas Market is quaint and tiny but looks rather real, and decked out in the arts & crafts from local artisans. The cookie baking is part of the plot. And there is cocoa from a stand in a cup held by two hands.

Unformulae: Its pretty much by the numbers, but I do like the break from norm in that James follows her to TBC and she doesn't give up on her dream resto.

True Calling? No, in fact not at all. The movies is supposed to be about a multiple course savoury meal and a few desserts, but all we really see is baking.

The Rewind: Yep, she did just toss the eggs in after the flour and sugar. Also, her knife skills are ATTROCIOUS.

The Regulars: Neither of the leads are regular fare, but Eric Gustafsson who played one of the "newly engaged" couple has been in tons, more likely as Leading Man.  Bethany Brown, who played the BFF Claire has also been in tons, more likely as a BFF. BJ Harrisson, who played one of the "couple that has been together forever" is also a staple in the Hallmarkie business, even so far as to have made four right after this one. I guess, to be a proper Hallmarkie actor, you have to be a working actor, a stable actor hopping from role to role, always ready to jump onto a new one.

How does it Hallmark? Even not being an OffBrand, its pretty solid in its Hallmarkie aspects. But there are little details that show the difference, more focus on the settings, actual outside shots, etc. That said, the settings were limited, usually being inside the cooking school chalet or Scarlett's restaurant. The "Xmas Market" scenes were obviously backlot, and we never actually go to the PST as I imagine this chalet is on the outskirts?

How does it movie? No, I would not return to this one.

How Does It Snow? Mostly real REAL snow, when it does actually go outside.

T&K's XMas (2022) Advent Calendar: Day 4 - A Gingerbread Christmas

2022, Pat Kiely (Three Night Stand) -- Food Network / download

The Draw: This season, we had talked about making a concerted effort to watch more offbrand Hallmarkies, either the obvious ones from Lifetime or the others that sneak into the season. The trouble is, finding them. But I did recall seeing a few commercials for Discovery+ having a few of their owns, especially those related to The Food Network, and voila, two that fit my love for baking/cooking and Hallmarkies. Alas, it seems nobody has made the cooking one available for my usual methods (cough pirating cough), but I did find this one.

HERstory: Hazel (Tiya Sircar, The Good Place) is a consultant (translates to unpaid intern) at a Big City Architecture firm (based on the inserted shots of Park Slope, Brooklyn) hoping to get the soon to open position. She gets the job, as she is the most qualified, works through Christmas, movie ends. Bzzzzt, of course she doesn't get the job, which affords her the opportunity to go home to PST (picturesque small town, for those new to the Toast to HallmarKent) which she skipped last year because of her mother's death. But before we go, she has her mom's best friend Nina (Karen Glaive, The Day After Tomorrow) come over with some home-baked cupcakes, which do look spectacular, and they reminisce about Hazel's mom who was a phenomenal baker.

She returns home. Mom's bakery is not doing so well, Dad (Sugith Varughese, Little Mosque on the Prairie) is in debt, and all due to the new bakery across the street. Dick move new baker in town. But not long after, we find out that the new bakery is run by Hazel's ex-BFF from high school, Shelby (Kyana Teresa, The Enchanted Christmas Cake), and was funded by Nina. Rivalry rekindled !

She also gets to meet James (Marc Bendavid, Nikita), the handyman/baker in her dad's shop, apparently the only baker because we never see dad do any baking nor even help out in the shop, nor are there any employees, let alone customers. The thing is, James is really a baker and produces phenomenal cookies & pastries that wow even cynical Hazel.

So, Dad needs money to save his bakery and Mark Clemmons (Duff Goldman, Cake Masters) is holding his annual Gingerbread Competition, and this year the prize is $100k. One Hundred Thousand Dollars! Not to do a Food Network style competition baking, live on air, but just to bake a pretty gingerbread house and wheel it into the hotel for presentation and judging. The Food Network must be doing real well in this universe. After a bit of "how dare you Mr. Handyman bake in my mom's bakery" grumpiness, the two decide to bake for the competition. Well, James will bake. We don't actually see Hazel do any baking to contribute, but she's an architect so she will design and assemble.

As expected, they interrupt their baking for a number of hot chocolate fueled forays into the Christmas Fair, and even one to the Meet & Greet for the competition, where both ogle each other in their fine evening wear. But for the most part its bake, bake, assemble, assemble, ASSEMBLE ! To be honest, I marveled at this expected montage scene, as in most Hallmarkies, the baking scenes are barely realistic, but this draws upon the actual Food Network experts to create rather heavenly designs, if not exactly following the continuity of the story -- as Marmy points out, if the "secret ingredient" to their gingerbread was chocolate sauce, it would be much darker. But the couple begin moving past their grumpy demeanours and actually admiring each other.

And then, the disruption. Hazel is offered the job in NYC, just as she has begun to realize she has feelings for James. Give up on her dreams and find true love, or abandon James and her Dad and work in the firm she has always wanted to? She loses her temper, without explaining to James why, and accidentally damages the gingerbread house -- a recreation of the Chicago City Hall, which I should mention is the nearby Big City for her PST, not NYC which is a weird pivot. She yells at James, he storms off. Clock Tower ruined, competition lost, bakery closing! All is lost.

But then Nina comes to the rescue with a radical idea. Hazel and Shelby, the ex-BFF, should patch things up and work on the rebuild themselves. Didn't understand why the fix couldn't be "patch things up with James" but Shelby is Nina's aunt, and she has ulterior motives. Anywayz, it works and they fix things in time for the presentation.

But they lose, but to the truly better choice -- a beautifully done mosque, by the very friendly Yasmin, who also seems to be from Hazel's PST? I am not sure, but this "national competition" seems unfairly stacked with people from Hazel's PST which may just be a suburb of Chicago? Either way, unfairly stacked. Despite losing the $100k, Duff Mark mentions he wants to do a spotlight episode in their PST and highlight both of the bakeries across from each other, and Nina who happens to be a successful cookbook writer, will also write a book based on Hazel's mom's recipes. Bakery(s) saved! Hazel can turn down the job, stay with James and live happily ever after! And maybe actually do some baking.

The Formulae: OK, it starts straight forwardly enough in a Big City (NYC) which I still consider weird as she seems to live next door to another Big City, but I guess they needed her to be geographically far enough away to not make it home for Xmas last year. Also, PST Girl pursuing her dream job, which she abandons pretty much as soon as a Handsome Dude comes along. That said, these movies have at least been attempting to have their leads not abandon the job, as Hazel does find a quaint and inspiring little architecture firm in town that is happy she would join them. Is it really worth noting it takes place in a PST, or at least a suburb that plays the part of a PST ? I mean really, do any of these ever not have a PST ? I suspect the answer is yes, but I would have to go back thru our archives to see which stood out. And in said PST, there is a failing Family Business -- Hazel Nut Bakery. The two start off not liking each other, but eventually fall in love. Also, Dead Mom. And the Xmas Market makes many an appearance, along with the requisite cups of hot chocolate, and kids singing Christmas Carols. Of course, while mainly a baking trope, we do get a baking montage or two. And there were at least three appearances of Xmas Sweaters. And amusingly enough, the trope-ish vintage red truck was a toy on the shelf of the bakery. The misunderstanding was only mild compared to how often they play a pivotal role.

Now, that said, this year was the first of Marmy & doing a Christmas Movie Bingo, so we were able to note and track pretty much every trope that popped up.

Unformulae: No red dress (Hazel's red coat doesn't count), nor blue dress for that matter, and no Winter Ball to wear said dress to, though when they went to the Meet & Greet, the outfit Hazel wore was rather fetching. And no visit to a tree lot to grab, and spend time decorating. In fact, decorating did not play any part in any aspect of the movie, not in bakery, not at home. Their place was mildly decorated but Dad was not so sad at Dead Mom that he couldn't decorate until inspired by budding love in the air. They were all too concerned about his business going under, I guess. Also, no snow globes, no ice skating, no tree lighting in the town square and beyond the angry Hazel smash of the tower clock, no klutzy moments.

My favourite break of formula is doubling down of diversity, especially considering a whole new network has formed in response to Hallmark going "too woke". Ex-BFF Shelby is gay, and the sweet, friendly Yasmin who wins the competition is Muslim. 

True Calling? Yeah, pretty much, as the gingerbread house making contest is the centre of all happenings in the movie.

The Rewind: Nothing really, but the array of really well constructed gingerbread houses and structures was worth looking at again.

The Regulars: Sircar has done a small handful of these, but Bendavid has done many many more. I was actually surprised that Varughese had not done more, but I recognized him more from just about every Canadian comedy show from the past 10 years. Kyana Teresa has also done quite a few, and it shouldn't be too long until she does her own leading role in one.

How does it Hallmark? Its pretty standard fare, though I wish the PST had been more than a skip and a jump from Chicago.

How does it movie? I will pretty much say this each time, they never really do go beyond their tropes and middling acting despite some actors, like Varughese being more than solid in his role as Dad; his acting chops just shine even in such a small role.

How Does It Snow? Lots and lots of cotton batting found everywhere!!

I Saw This!! realiTyVgames

I Saw This (double exclamation point) is our feature wherein Kent(me) or Toasty attempt to write about a bunch of stuff they watched some time ago and meant to write about but just never got around to doing so. But we can't not write cuz that would be bad, very bad.  Florida governor bad.

One thing we haven't written much about on this blog is realityTV, specifically competition shows.  I know I'm not a huge fan, and I suspect Toasty is similarly averse to the genre.  I think in recent years I've started watching more competition shows than ever, by which I mean, a couple, versus none.  I recall dabbling in early seasons of Survivor and Trading Spaces and American Idol and Project:Runway but at a certain point I realized that these competition shows were just empty calories, and not even all that delicious calories...like eating veggie straws when you could just have had potato chips, or caramel corn, or a fruit salad. I'm feeling peckish and losing the thread here.  In recent years, we've watched all of Nailed It! on Netflix, easily the most entertaining baking competition show out there, because the whole point is bad bakers trying their best, and having fun while doing it.  We've also watched Lego Masters which, given that we're obscenely ridiculous toy people in this household (I'm watching a youtube video about action figure news as I write this), is not that suprising, but I was surprised to find how engaged I was with the show, which is not very much about the personality politics and all about building cool Lego diaramas.

So, we partook in a few other reality competitions in the past couple months... more in such a short time than ever...let's just talk about it....

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LOL Canada - AmazonPrime

I started in on Last One Laughing Canada out of sheer curiosity.  Given that I'm a comedy lover, I wanted to know who from the Canadian comedy scene would wind up on this reality competition show (and would it be funny, or just sad?).  Well, a completely godawful introduction let me know, and, I was quite surprised that I knew everyone involved, save one ( Brandon Ash-Mohammed) and liked pretty much everyone. The crux of the show is putting 10 comedians in a room for 6 hours (edited down to about 3 hours over six episodes) and telling them they can't laugh, or even smile.  The last one left wins a pile of money for charity.  There are rules, but the basics basically is no laughing, no smiling, one warning, then you're out.

The "LOL" formulae was developed from a Japanese game show but now seems to be an Amazon brand which has, currently, 9 different international versions on the streamer, including Australia, German, France, Spain, and India, with a Quebec version forthcoming (surprised there's no US or UK version yet).

With host Jay Baruchel the competing comedians were Drew Barrymore's ex-husband Tom Green, Kim's Convenience co-star Andrew Phung, Whose Line is it Anyways legend Colin Mochrie, Kids in the Hall's Dave Foley, comedian (and ex-pat living in the UK) Mae Martin, "America's Sweetheart" Caroline Rhea, one of my favourite live stand-ups Debra DiGiovanni, The League's Jon Lajoie (whom our dog Taco was named after) and Letterkenny's K. Trevor Wilson joining Ash-Mohammad.

The thing about comedians is a lot of them don't laugh at comedy, they analyze it, they deconstruct it as they see it, like a magician trying understand how another magician's trick works.  A lot of them have a severe poker face.  But the flip side is there's some of those comedians that just love to laugh, so those ones are out almost immediately.

What I wasn't expecting was Tom Green. It's been so long since I have engaged in Green's absurdist shenanigans that I forgot how good he was at that sort of thing.  He got a lot of miles out "delicious cheese sandwiches" (maybe too much mileage). And here he's kind of in his element, just able to be his weird self. Lajoie was easily my favourite competitor, as he had tactics for not laughing, which were tremendously funny on their own.  Mmm. Mmmhmm.  Ash-Mohammad's seductive sunscreen application was something absolutely special to behold, and Mochrie is such a seasoned improv pro that almost everything he does is so good.  Foley seemed to be completely disinterested in the whole thing, even after he was ejected, while Rhea came prepared to laugh, which was kind of the antithesis of the show (rolling out in her teen daughter's wardrobe was a pretty good bit though).

I laughed a lot, and enjoyed spending time with pretty much everyone, and I found the format worked quite well as a competition, really drawing the viewer through from episode to episode, but the unstructured room with hack comedy props is little too malformed for high quality comedy.  The good thing is at 6 sub-1/2 hour episodes it didn't overstay its welcome.

LOL Australia - AmazonPrime 

As I started this post writing about the Canadian version, put the Australian version of Last One Lauging - hosted by Rebel Wilson - on in the background, kind of as an experiment to see if the show would still work even if I didn't know the personalities involved.  I only know a couple of the comedians, mainly host Wilson and absurdist Sam Simmons (who I wrote about here during 2013's JFL42 festival, the one year I deigned to write about stand-up comedy on the blog) but the format proved itself to be just as attractive and entertaining, even if the personalities involved were a bit more alien. 

It's still a fairly funny show, but there's definitely some cultural differences that bubbled up to the fore.  For starters, the Aussies are much more brutal and cutting, like they were treating the room as a place to roast each other, really dig into their careers and, in some ways, let their petty jealousies bubble up to the surface in unflattering ways, that, I guess were meant to be comedy (the thing about roasting is it's only funny if everyone's laughing together, otherwise it just feels mean, and the whole point here is to not laugh, so nobody's laughing).  The Canadians all seemed genuinely respectful of one another, even if they didn't quite know each other.  The elder statesmen, the ones who had gone off to temporarily bigger careers in the States, they were still generally kind to the younger set.  Australia is roughly the same population density as Canada, but where they're situated in the world they're the big English-speaking market (with New Zealand being their Canada), so there's no where to go as an elevation unless you're willing to make the huge leap to the States or UK.  As such it's a tinier, more insular market, everyone knows each other on this show, but there's much more of a competitive spirit between them all.  And throw in $100,000 prize (not for charity, but for the winner) it's certainly a bit more cutthroat.

Another standout in comparison was the Australians' reliance upon dick and bum jokes.  So many bum jokes. I think half the gags here were about bums.  There's got to be some sort of cultural obsession with the ol' hiney Down Under (well, I guess "down under" is basically a butt euphamism as is, so perhaps it makes some sense).  There was quite a bit more lewdness in the Aussie LOL, and maybe an overreliance on cheap theatrics.

It was funny to see that there's a few archetypes that bubble up.  There's the seasoned improv vet, (Mochrie in Canada, Frank Woodley in Australia), the almost-as-seasoned absurdist (Green vs Simmons), the one who distances themselves from it all (Foley vs the almost entirely unengaged Ed Kavalee, making Foley look positively enthusiastic by comparison), the young buck going deep against the vets (Ash-Mohammad vs Nazeem Hussain) and the anti-laugh tactician (LaJoie vs  Dilruk Jayasinha).

Even comparing the hosts, Wilson was much more passive than Baruchel, who seemed to want to insert himself into the happenings as much as possible. The Canadian version also had some games and special guests inserted into the proceedings which made for a bit more entertainment and sense of structure, where there was little else but chaos in Australia.  

But then Sam Simmons was on the attack from moment one in the show, and didn't let up for anything.  My recollection of him as a live performer was that he would do anything, shamelessly, and his sense of comedy crossed the entire spectrum, but here he was mostly focussed on shock-and-awe.  By the end of the show the room looked like a bodega had exploded, like a rock star's hotel room after a coke-fuelled bender, and most of that chaos could be attributed to Simmons.  His go-for-broke, no shame comedy started minutes into the show as he stepped out from behind the change room curtain, music blaring, to perform a wild dance wearing a leather jacked with over a dozen stretchy rubber dick-and-balls stitched on it, which he then proceeded to tug and stretch and fillate in a manic fit along with the hyper music.  And that's where he started his onslaught.

Just past the halfway point, there fell a spastic sense of desperation among the remaining competitors which only seemed to heighten as more were eliminated.  It was less funny and more interesting from a sociological standpoint, as these people who feed off laughs started going absolutely mental, seemingly for hours going "is this funny?" over and over.  That sort of desperation was only flirted with in the Canadian one, but the same sense of "this is a form of torture" seemed to overcome them as well.

I didn't come out of it with a healthier appreciation for the Aussie comedy scene...there was a lot of weaksauce efforts in that room of unfamiliar personalities, but the few standouts really stood out.  Woodley, Simmons, Becky Lucas, and Dilruk Jayasinha I think were tops for me. 

I don't think I'll give any of the other foreign language versions a try.  Comedy is so much in the delivery and the delivery is shot when you're trying to do it through subtitles.

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Best In Miniature - CBC Gem

Another Canadian competition show, though a lot less calmer and gentler than LOL Canada, and much more in the vein of Lego Masters (and I'm sure all those damn baking shows that other people seem to love), where the production cares much less about personalities and backstories, and instead is much more focused on skills.  In this case it's people who create miniatures, dollhouses and accessories.

There is an amazing amount of skill, experience and creativity involved in miniaturing, and the competitors, ranging from only a couple years to decades of experience, each show their own personality in their art.  The competitors hail from the US, Canada, and the U.K., and they seemed to have some form of on-line presence and be largely familiar with one another through social media, some having even bought pieces off the others.

The first episode's challenge is building a dollhouse and it immediately shows the strengths and styles of each of the artists, but also very, very quickly exposes their weaknesses.  Subsequent episodes feature a mini-challenge, where they have to create a small piece in less than an hour, which they are then judged on by the show's experts (one a miniatures expert, the other a design expert), and then they have a specific challenge working in one of their rooms for up to 10 hours.  Each room has to meet some specific design challenges that are foisted upon them, as well as feel a part of the overall aesthetic of the house.

I was impressed, constantly, every episode by everyone, some more than others, but just agog with how cool and amazing and talented these people are at making such a broad spectrum of items.  While some had specialties, most were still able to adapt and create what was needed even if they weren't intimately familiar with the how to.  Plus as the competitors were winnowed down, the more fine and precise the work got, the more impressive it all was.

I enjoyed this show tremendously, very little of which had to do with personalities, except in how they came out in their art.  It was such a low-stakes, low-drama, competition that it was a soothing, relaxing and utterly transfixing watch.  I would like more, but I may also just watch again.

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Is it Cake? - Netflix

Shows based of memes are maybe not the best idea, and Is It Cake? is a fudging mess of a game show.  The format of the show is so bizarre and kind of so antithetical to the way almost any other competition show is done that I have to wonder if it's just ahead of its time, or if it's really just a train wreck.

Hosted by Saturday Night Live's Mikey Day, the premise of the show is three bakers compete in creating a cake that looks like something else, then each cake is put up on a podium against 5 other non-cakes of the same item, and a panel of three "celebrity" (some are minorly famous, some are like specific famous, and some are just internet famous) guests have to come to consensus in 20 seconds on which one is cake.  

But that's just the high level structure...it gets really, really weird the more you dig into it.

The show starts with 9 competitors.  After a round of "Is it cake?", where a variety of random items on podiums - one of them cake - is displayed, and eveyone gets a chance to choose.  If there's a tie, the fastest answer wins.  Kind of a weird system there.  But then, the winner gets to choose two others from the stable.  They each then choose one of the non-cake items for them to replicate in cake form.  The other 6 competitors just go to a bench on the side and...sit there, for 8 hours, while the three competitors bake and make their fake cake.  So bizarre.

AFTER the judging, if the judges were fooled by more than one cake, the judges then have to pick the winner based on how real the cake looks up close and how good the cake tastes.  Then the winner gets a chance to win some prize money by playing "Cake or Cash" where two items looking almost exactly the same are presented, only one is cake, the other is cash.  If they guess which is cake, they win cash.

The following episode, the winner of the previous episode picks two more contestants (from the pool who haven't already been chosen), they play a round of "Is it cake?" with the random items, pick their item to cake fake replicate and go through it all over again.  It's clunky as clunky can be as far as a competition show goes, and yet, it's kinda stupidly entertaining.  It's absurd they have people sitting around for 8 hours while people bake cakes, but that's what happens.  

The contestants, however, are all rather supportive of each other, and all very into discussing techniques, and approaches, and flavours and whatnot.  It's always nice these competition shows where the competitors really are just happy to trade knowledge and appreciate each others' skills.

Likewise, it's fun watching Day's hacking into things that are - and are not - cake.  And the brief moments of deciding whether something is or isn't cake is still a challenge even though you've just watched 20 minutes of the cake being made, the show edits it enough that when it comes time to guess it's still fun for the audience (but it comes at the expense of getting into finer detail on how the cake was made).

Every episode I couldn't believe I was still watching it, and yet, I wanted to watch more after each episode was over.  It's incredibly stupid (and a HUGE waste of food...where does all that cake Day mangles wind up?) and it's such a silly premise, but I enjoyed it despite myself.

I Saw This!! What I Have Been Watching: A Long Long Look Back, Pt. B - Gems

 I Saw This (double exclamation point) is our feature wherein Kent(!) or Toasty attempt to write about a bunch of stuff they watched some time ago and meant to write about but just never got around to doing so. But we can't not write cuz that would be bad, very bad.  Ottawa Freedom Convoy bad.

What I Have Been (or Am) Watching is the admitted state of me spending too much time in front of the TV. But what else was the last few years about? Sure, we got a few breaks from being confined at home, and might have actually gone outside (gasp!) and socialized with (double-gasp!) human beings (faint-dead-away) but we always ended up back on the sofa, flicker in hand, trying to find something to watch amidst the 35 shows we downloaded, and the 5 or so streaming services we are subscribed to.

Part A is here. 

When I talk about my streaming services, I always refer to the ones I pay for, like Netflix or Disney+ or Amazon Prime Video. And on occasion, one of the Amazon add-on's like StackTV -- I will get to that utter loathing another day. But SmartTVs give you apps, and some apps let you watch stuff for free, like Tubi or CBC Gem. Sure, they have limited choices and usually add in ads, but you can find some *ahem* gems in there, to watch.

Coroner, 2019 - 2022, Netflix/CBC

One of the WFH days, I was looking for something I could watch without Marmy, something I could start and stop and not worry about. Click click Crime TV ! I was caught up on the FBIs and waiting their return, so I started the Toronto-situated Coroner, based on the Jenny Cooper books out of the UK. Cooper (Serinda Swan, Inhumans) is the titular coroner for the GTA, who returns to work after her husband unexpectedly died. The show has her dealing with his loss, as well as the legacy of her sister's death when they were kids, and how they both contribute to how she handles cases, for if she didn't get personally involved in each and every death, we wouldn't have a show.

The death of the week was always fascinating from viewing the morphed geography and culture of Toronto (e.g. one of the episodes is about the owner of my fav Dumpling House on Spadina being murdered, and its relation to Chinatown being gentrified), but what really caught my attention were the creative choices the show made. I caught myself constantly saying out loud, usually to Marmy in the kitchen, "Wow, I love the direction that just took. In an American version of this, it would have..." The two main characters, Jenny the coroner, and Detective McAvoy (Roger Cross, Eureka) become close, but the two never become a couple; in fact, the show makes definite choices in the first two seasons to show how strong their friendship grows, as just friends. The police always focus on disarming situations and gun play is limited. The diversity in Toronto, and the still existing constant challenges, is at the forefront.

The show also tackles current affairs rather well, from the realization that the previous coroner was regularly cutting corners, putting the rulings on many cases into question, to the handling of the COVID-19 pandemic. The latter is rather curtailed, thankfully so, as it arose during the pandemic fatigue stage, but the episode on Jenny bagging bodies in long term care homes is heart breaking, more than news exposure ever could reveal. 

Alas, the show seemed to lose its way after a couple of seasons. Its that typical desire to constantly repeat the key tropes that make the first season popular: Jenny dealing with the loss of her husband (they kill off her new boyfriend), Jenny being haunted by her sister's death (panic attacks and hallucinations), Jenny dealing with challenges of work (Jenny returns from leave to find another coroner strong arming the office). I prefer to let shows evolve, not always having to return to the beats that make the first few seasons popular.

The Great British Bake Off / The Great British Baking Show, 2010 - current, CBC Gem

And then there is a format that they can repeat over and over for more than a decade and I love it over and over and over. 

We have been watching the show here and there, when it pops on, from PBS to CBC, but never putting any concerted effort into watching. That is, until we found it on CBC Gem. More accurately, Marmy found it, and began binging, and it was on every time I walked into the TV room. For weeks, I would saunter in, get caught up filling in the gaps for my favourite seasons and favourite home bakers, even seeing most of a season I had never caught at all before. And every single time, I was provide the urge to try baking that, and this, and that and that and THAT !

I didn't bake a single thing in response.

For those who don't know, Bake Off (called Baking Show in North America because of copywrite issues) is a British series created by (more than a little pompous) bread baker Paul Hollywood and legendary baker Mary Berry. Each season, a group of home bakers are presented a bunch of challenges to bake/cook, most often having a chance to practice at home, but also provide surprise "technical challenges" that are supposed to stretch their skills to the limits, providing limited instructions and ingredients. Every challenge is judged on appearance, taste and the adherence to the heart of the recipe. Along with the judges, we get a couple of hosts who walk the bakers through the stages, and provide colour commentary. As episodes end, some people are sent home, and the season ends with a winner chosen from a final three.

Most of the styles of baking are traditional British and French baking staples, with some classics from the past reaching in, as well as the occasional nearby European classic item. But as seasons progressed, other things started creeping in, and even on occasion, popping in a North American style baked good. Never was I more aware of the difference between North America and baking across the pond than I was when Paul judged cookies/biscuits.

Along with seeing all the delicious food, you also cannot help but find favourite bakers each season. And unlike American style competition shows, you might get annoyed by the occasional baker drama antics, but you are never expected to dislike anyone. This show is not about Good Guy vs Bad Guy or manufactured upset. This is about good baking and people doing something they love to do. Some of my favourites were Rahul, though his lack of self confidence became tiring when binging the season, the Ruby's and whatever endearing grandmother showed up for the season. To be honest, its hard to choose "favs" as it was all about the moments.

And the hosts. Originally comic duo Sue Perkins and Mel Giedroyc, they went through a few changes, including my favorite seasons with Noel Fielding and Sandy Toksvig. Paul was always presented as a stodgy, unforgiving baker short on his compliments and strict on his expectations. The comic hosts surprisingly had great leeway to play with his cranky character creating some rather surreal and down right weird cut scenes. But despite Paul's grumpy nature, every single contestant sought out the signature Paul Hollywood Handshake, that identified exactly how impressed he was with a baked good.

And now I want to go bake a cake. But I probably won't.

T&K's XMas (2021) Advent Calendar: Day 24 - The Enchanted Christmas Cake

2021, Robert Vaughn (High-Rise Rescue) -- Lifetime/Download

The Draw: 

I might have a new trend. I turn on the TV, tune into a movie about 7 minutes after it starts, and decide I really want to watch it. Of course, it aired on some cable channel before whatever channel I saw it pop up on, so its up on the pirate web. I saw this Canadian-based one, obviously not Hallmark actually, and ALSO it was about a bakery, and specifically about a special Xmas Cake that the main character is supposed to be an expert on. Alas, she is not.

HERstory: 

Yeah, so Gwen (Erica Durance, Smallville) is the granddaughter of the (late) town baker, who was famous for her Enchanted Christmas Cake that inspired love in all who ate it. It felt like there was a previous movie where the cake actually played a part in the romantic entanglement at the heart of a Hallmarkie. But no, its just that Gwen is a baker, but not able to recreate the extra special recipe her grandmother was famous for, a single ingredient missing from her hand written not-recipe card for lebkuchen cake. An ingredient starting with the letters M and A. 

Gwen has been attempting to recreate the cake, by adding in many "ma..." ingredients, but it always seems to lead to a disastrous cake, not just a cake that doesn't quite taste good, but a truly, burned, fallen cake that kind of tells us Gwen ain't such a good baker. Likely she relies on assistant Becky (Kyana Teresa, Good Witch) to do all the heavy (batter) lifting.

Coming into town is TV Producer Gavin (Robin Dunne, Sanctuary) for terrible TV chef Cooking with Dante (Paulino, The Expanse). He is hoping to connect Dante to the legacy of Gwen's grandmother, but at the very least they will shoot in this typical PST. Sorry, typically Canadian PST. The thing is that Gwen is not exactly ready to be talking up her grandmother's legacy on syndicated TV considering she cannot recreate it, and really, is not sure she should be.

Upon literally bumping into Gwen, Gavin is instantly taken with Gwen. This was the entry point for me on whatever channel it was airing. And at this is the point, I got all judgey on an actor's appearance. Sure, I am rather partial to Erica Durance since Smallville, but whoever was doing her hair on this movie needs to be ... retrained. On OTA TV it looked all grey and haggard, but at least on the downloaded copy, it was just a bit frazzled and dry looking. I admit, I am rather challenged by what aging female (for the most part) actors feel they have to do to retain the level of interest in them. 

ANYWAYZ, she doesn't quite rebuff Gavin but she doesn't like what he represents. I mean, all you have to do is take one look at Dante, and his amazingly fake looking toupee to know what he is all about. But soon after, she bumps into Gavin again, and again, and he is really pressing her on the TV appearance, but he calms down and he settles on asking her to be his local guide. He has to make sure this episode goes the way Dante likes things, starting with finding him an "authentic" place to stay, that has a hot tub. She suggests her mom's house -- while she is in Boca, she rents the place out. Apparently the overdone overwrought fake loghouse look is exactly what Dante would go for.

On that note, again I notice the level of income present in many of these movies. Gwen's dad grandfather runs the incredible looking Inn that Dante rejected. This is in an astounding massive stone structure that looks just wonderful. If I was wealthy I would choose to stay there. And her mom has this house, this INCREDIBLY big faux log cabin McMansion. Ignoring her taste, she must have money.

ANYWAYZ, they bounce around a bit doing Hallmarkie things, and Gavin is more than being obvious he has a thing for Gwen. He even wants to introduce her to his daughter Michelle (Sarah Abbott, V-Wars) who catches on instantly, and begins hanging with Gwen, even inspiring her to create her first acceptable cake. Its not THE cake but it's a pretty damn good bake. And the "ma" is "maple syrup".

Eventually Gavin and Gwen bake together, and THEY discover the real secret ingredient -- "marzipan" which is kind of obvious considering the German roots of her cake. Interestingly enough, Lebkuchen is more often a gingerbread style cookie than a cake, but TV, so whatever. Once the ingredient is known, she tells Gavin she still doesn't really feel secure sharing it with douche chef Dante, as this recipe was her grandmother's and she feels it should stay in-family. But when she agrees to do the show segment, Dante plays at knowing the ingredient already, and Gwen immediately falls for the 20-minutes-to-go misunderstanding, assuming that Gavin shared it with him. He didn't; it was actually Gwen's mom who has returned from Boca and kind of wants to impress the douche chef, so she tells him its marmalade. But Gwen is hurt and rushes off.

BUT she gets a letter which comes from one of her grandmother's fans, who tells her that she already got the recipe. Apparently Gwen's gramma was pretty open with it at the end of her life, not considering it worth keeping a secret. So Gwen rushes to find Gavin to tell him she overreacted and he tells he quit being a doormat Producer for douche chef Dante. 

MEANWHILE Dante has had his own revelation, in that he never really wanted to be a TV chef. He wanted to do what he grew up doing -- running a cheesey (pun intended) themed Italian resto. He connects with Gwen's mom and decides he's dumping the show. EVERYONE is going to live Happily Ever After including Real Housewife Mom and Douche Chef Dante.

The Formulae: 

Does Lifetime subscribe to the Hallmarkie trope recipe as much as actual Hallmark? This one does do the Xmas Tree hunting & decorating, and Gwen does take Michelle to an Xmas Fair, but that's pretty much it. 

Unformulae: 

Neither of them are vying for a great job that will appear or not appear on Xmas Day, like in most. It really is just a moment in time for the two that happens to be happening around the holidays, allowing for some of the Xmas tropes to seep in.

True Calling? Well, that's the thing. The cake is supposed to be enchanted, as in it has been making people fall in love for years and years. But that is not really the point of the movie. If it had been, then there would have been a star crossed couple playing the secondary plot, who would have fallen astoundingly into love once they tried the "real recipe". Alas its more just how the recipe seems to be everything to Gwen, until she realizes that Gavin and their potential relationship means more. So, no not an enchanted cake at all.

The Rewind: 

Seeing Dante's terrible toupee for the first time was a chuckle, but not really worth rewinding. Instead, have a look at mine !

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A post shared by David Petite (@tbit)

The Regulars: 

Since leaving Smallville Durance has alternated between doing these kind of movies and other TV series in the Vancouver area. Meanwhile Dunne has been doing a LOT of these movies. Kyanna Teresa has been alternating between these movies and Canadian TV for a long time, so I guess its her niche. I wonder if its a supporting actor's inevitable niche in Canada?

How does it Hallmark?

The movie is less about the tropes and more about the general romcom direction being taken. I need to do more research to see if the Lifetimies have their own beats and notes.

How does it movie? 

TBH, I am running out of steam on saying whether these have any merit outside their genre....