3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

2023, John Francis Daly & Jonathan Goldstein - cinema

Yup, a movie in the cinema.

And then soon after, rewatch'd digitally.

Kent already wrote about the movie from the point of view of a non-D&Der enjoying it immensely. Sooo, I will write about from the POV of a Graybeard D&D Nerd. And I have the tattoo to illustrate the level.

I have been playing D&D since I got that boxed set in the late 70s. Well, I haven't been playing all the time since then, as its been quite some time since I have actively played, BUT it has always been on my mind, whether it be reading books, downloading source material (aaaarrh matey) or writing up stuff for the games we (Marmy, the Peanut Gallery, and me) never get around to playing.

I own all editions, have played all editions. I have shelves full of mouldering old books, and I like to get whichever Introductory Boxed Set that comes out for each new edition. I have bags and bags and bags of dice, including a pile in a requisite Crown Royal bag. I kind of low-key collect tshirts with polyhedral dice or dungeons on them. The underside (dark?) of that tattoo has d20.

Suffice to say, I am very fond of the entire idea of the game. If I am pulling away from nostalgic fondness in other forms of media, I will never give up my fondness for OSR (old school revolution) style D&D. But I have loved each new edition of the game, and even the spin-offs.

We are in a heyday for D&D, with celebrities playing, with podcasts and live-play YouTubes bringing attention like never before. Its back in the pop culture eye like never before, but without the stigma of the Satanic Panic of the 80s. And with Nerd Culture getting a mega boost from the MCU, that a movie was coming out was not surprising, but I am sure everyone, including me, assumed it would be another pile of drek, like the 2000 movie.

It was not. It was a really fun, well-written, well-paced adventure full of humour and heart, and so saturated with in-jokes, references and easter eggs, you could do a drinking game! And that's where I am going with it.

The movie is set in Faerun (the Forgotten Realms) and that becomes obvious after a few place names are tossed out. Our initial main characters are Edgin (Chris Pine, Star Trek) the Bard, and Holga (Michelle Rodriguez, Resident Evil) the Barbarian, and they begin regaling a character backstory to a parole board in a prison beyond The Spine of the World. Edgin had been a Harper, basically the Impossible Mission Force of the Sword Coast, and his major enemies were the Red Wizards of Thay. After a number of successful adventures against the Wizards, they retaliated by killing his wife. He shut down, left the Harpers, and became an adventurer & thief, working with a sorcerer named Simon (Justice Smith, Pokémon: Detective Pikachu), a Rogue named Forge (Hugh Grant, Notting Hill) and his Wizard companion Sofina (Daisy [bald] Head, Underworld: Blood Wars). On one fateful mission to secure a pile of treasure, and a Stone of Reawakening (I am guessing using the word Resurrection was too fraught with Christian turmoil), Edgin and Holga are caught, while the others escape. Sofina's to blame.

After telling the tale, Edgin and Holga escape by snagging a flight through a window on the back of one of the parole board, Jarnathan the Aarakocra (bird-man). They find their way to Neverwinter, where Forge has somehow made himself ruler, and has been raising Edgin's adolescent daughter. Alas, he's a Rogue so he cannot be trusted, and has turned Edgin's daughter against him, all the while not revealing to anyone that Sofina is actually a Red Wizard, and she has a Very Evil Plan. The Stone is still in Forge's armoury, which is protected by a sigil crafted by legendary wizard Mordenkainen (and I mean, legendary!! He's from the original AD&D from the 80s! Squeeee!). Sofina tries to have them killed, but they escape again.

They go find Simon, the less than stellar Sorcerer from a Wizard background (sorcerers are born with magic, while wizards learn magic), who appears to be wielding some sort of Spell Dispenser, that unfortunately is attuned to wild magic, i.e. he cannot always control what will happen. He knows of a helmet that could turn off the vault's magic, but not where it is.

Oh, I should mention, to learn about the vault, they recruit Doric, a Tiefling Druid who lives with the Emerald Enclave.  The Enclave's forest home is being cut/burned down by Forge's allies, so she is eager for retribution. Druids can shape change into animals, and she learns on the vault after becoming quite a few critters into get into the castle. Aaaand with the sigil in place, to get into the vault, they will need some magic to nullify it. 

Luckily, it was Holga's people who held the helm ! Too bad they lost it in a battle that pretty much wiped them out. This part of the story was fuzzy for me. Was it history? Did it happen a long time ago? Or was it more recent, and very personal to Holga? Either way, the only logical way to get some more details is to talk to someone who was at the battle, who knows where the helmet might be. But they are all dead. Nevermind, we got magic! This time in the form of a token that allows you to ask 5 questions of the dead. After some chuckle-out-loud screw ups, and lots and lots of wrong questions, they finally dig up the right body to find out... the helmet is gone.

NEXT ! They are led to Paladin Xenk (Regé-Jean Page, The Gray Man), who happens to be from Thay, and has his own vendetta against the Red Wizards, primarily for turning all of his people into undead. Also, him? Kind of? All we know is that as a kid, he fled the ritual but a tattoo still appeared on his forehead. Why? We don't know. He also says that took place a century ago, so he is reallllly old? Either way, he is the DMP, the "Dungeon Master's Player", i.e. a character possessed of lots of knowledge and TONS of ability, to the point of arrogant assurance. But he knows where the helmet is, and as long as they agree to distribute all treasure found to The People, he will help them find it.

Into the Underdark, which in The Game (when I was a kid, we referred to it as The Game), is massively underground, like miles, but for them, a quick jump down the right (wrong) hole -- the Orifice. Ick. Anywayz, caves and crawlies and and underground ruins of things dangling over lava pits on big BIG chains. And a very very VERY fat dragon. When I saw him in the trailer, I was like, "What kind of dragon is that? Oh probably something they just made up for the movie." But nope, its Themberchaud, the chubby dragon. Very chubby, as in giving chase looks like a penguin sliding across an iceberg. Snort. But he does help them take care of some undead Thayan assassins who show up at the behest of Sofina.

With the helmet found, Xenk is off to do non-funny, straight as a pin Paladin things and Simon has to figure out how to use the helmet. Alas... No matter, Edgin always has an alternate, or five, plan and they will use Simon's portal want to sneak their way into the vault, with the help of a painting of... snort... Volo. Volo is the travel writer of the Forgotten Realms, known for his line of books, "Volo's Guide to...." Alas... THAT plan doesn't go well, and Edgin, Holga and Simon end up in Forge's final plan --- an organized dungeon maze filled with adventurers and monsters, a sort of Monster Truck Rally for fantasy worlds, but with actual monsters, and no trucks. Buuuut, you see, he is just working for Sofina, and HER final plan is to use the same evil spell that turned Xenk's people into undead on the people of Neverwinter, and since everyone in town is watching the dungeon/maze games... But no matter, Edgin has a plan! He foils the attacks by the mimic (chest with teeth and tongue), displacer beast (panther with tentacles [proper tentacles, by definition] and an ability to show an illusion of itself) and The Gelatinous Cube (squeeeee!). They use the latter to escape into the bowels of the maze, and catch Forge in the act of stealing away with the city's treasure, while Sofina does her evil thing. They could escape with it themselves, but they return to fight the evil wizard and foil her spell before it can turn the city into undead. Well, most of the city. With a bit of subterfuge and a lot of thumping by Doric's owlbear form, they save the day! But not without losses.

In the most surprising turn, that is actually moving, and Marmy was right, Holga (Michelle Rodriguez) does actually die (we see her as the female form of Sean Bean) but Edgin sacrifices the resurrection stone for her. He had planned to use it bring back his wife, his daughter's mother, but realizes as they lost her when the girl was but a baby, in fact, Holga has been her mother all along, helping raise her along side Edgin. Wow. Moving scene. Sniff.

Rewards, adulation, Forge is caught and sent to the jail that started the movie!

OK, sorry for the long, drawling tale ("can I tell you about my character?") but I had to. And even so, I missed sooooo many references. So let's cover them!

Yes, the movie took place in and around Neverwinter which sort of disappointed me, as Waterdeep is just over there. Maybe the sequel? That the setting was something so familiar was just... fun.

Did you notice the baby rust monsters on the rafter, fighting over some scrap metal?

While I didn't get my beholder shot, I did get my gelatinous cube, though I don't think they would last that long inside one without at least a few HPs of damage.

Of course, the big easter egg for the maze battle was seeing the characters from the 80s D&D cartoon making their way through it. But they weren't kids for sure.

Pretty much all the spells cast, by both sides, were named ones. And the floor (stone to sand spell) upon which Edgin and Holga got snagged by Forge? Reference to the original 2000 movie. I believe I was the only one in the theatre who snorted at that.

The Tabaxi (cat people) in the town where they found Xenk the Paladin were cringe worthy looking, which is entirely appropriate considering the kind of players would want to play a Tabaxi. Yes, I am judging furries. The Dragonborn were only slightly better done, but at least they were there.

The Intellect Devourers were just too cute, "Who's a wittle monster, who wants to eat my brain!"

I absolutely loved that at least three scenes of exposition were done from taverns. And while I made a vocal note that Edgin didn't actually do much beyond bonking some people with his lute (he didn't even carry a weapon), he did actually play a couple of tunes, and they weren't half bad.

Did I miss any?

KWIF: Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (+3)

Kent's Week in Film is this: each week (or so) I have a spotlight movie which I write a longer thinkier piece about, and then whatever else I watched that week I do a quick little summary of my thoughts... just to speed things along. This entry covers the past two weeks, less my watching of the Scream series which will get its own entry.

This week:
Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves - 2023, d. John Francis Daly & Jonathan Goldstein - In Theatre
Marcel, the Shell With Shoes On - 2022, d. Dean Fleischer - Crave
28 Weeks Later - 2008, d. Juan Carlos Fresnadillo- Disney+/Star
Dressed to Kill - 1980, d. Brian Di Palma - Criterion Channel

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Of all the things I'm nerdy about, D&D is not one of them. I've RPGed a time or three, but I'm by no means invested in the property. Hell, fantasy, in general, is not a genre I particularly even like....something about magic having basically no rules and being able to do anything is ever a barrier. Here, Justice Smith's awkward and sometimes ineffectual mage, Simon, literally has a retort about the fact that there are rules and magic can't just do anything. I appreciated the sentiment, but magic kinda just does what ever it wants in this film, ultimately. Yet, the magic here, like in the game, is just one facet of the world. It's not all about magic. There be monsters, beasts, creatures, dragons, critters...different races and classes, all of which just coexist in this realm without excessive exposition (if any at all).

D&D:Honor Among Thieves starts by introducing us to a pair of partners in crime -- Chris Pine's bard, Edgin, and Michelle Rodriguez's latest badass character, the barbarian Holga -- on the date of their fantasy-realm-equivalent of a parole hearing. Edgin has the gift of gab, regaling the parole board with his backstory and how he and Holga came to be in their prison. Holga is far more stoic (having already proven herself an ace fighter) and chimes in bluntly when she needs to. This does follow, quite precisely, the show-don't-tell rule as it cuts back and forth between enactment and retelling in an amusing manner (almost too amusing, threatening to overpower even the mildest sense of drama, but the writer-directors know quite what they're doing). It's a deft move, repeated multiple times in the movie, characters breaking into story, cutting to the flashback, all evoking the effect of a player character providing other players around the table top background info on either the character or the campaign.

Edgin has a daughter, Kira (Chloe Coleman), to return to but she's ostensibly been raised and brainwashed by his ex-band-of-thieves-mate Forge, who has reached lofty status after helping send Edgin and Holga to prison. He's also collaborating with a red wizard, Sofina (Daisy Head with a bald head) the worst of the worst denizens of the land, and has the fugitives taken away. They escape, enlist the help of their mate Simon, and a tiefling (sp) Doric (Sophia Lillis) before formulating a plan to rob Forge and get Kira back.

It all leads to one adventurous sequence and/or fantastical sequence after the next which then leads them to a remarkably subdued but ridiculously entertaining paladin in the very charming and handsome form of Rege-Jean Page. If there was a doubt as to Page's on-screen charisma, consider it quashed. He literally steals the show for the second act (and he's a lawful good, not a thief!).

Every new adventure and every twist in the journey is a delight. I found myself enjoying the film increasingly more and more as it progressed, and where I may have questioned the tonal balance early on, it's just crackling with energy and parading forward to the end to the point that I could only enjoy the ride, no questions. By the time the credits rolled, I felt good...like...invigorated and satisfied. As much as I can enjoy a Marvel, leaving the viewer at the end with a tease for the future sometimes just leaves the viewer puzzled or tantilized in an unsatisfying way. Here, the film, the journey, the story is a complete one and it feels damn good to have that sense of completeness. Nothing is left dangling. In this age of franchises, to have a done-in-one massive picture is such a rarity (and for it to be so entertaining is a blessing).

I liked the cast, but I loved the characters. Each gets their shining moment and their own arc, and most are pretty satisfying. There's a seeming kismet to this assembly, everyone working so perfectly in their role. Lillis manages to be both slight and imposing, Pine is charismatic and self aware, while Rodriguez negotiates being the tough badass and having a deep sense of love for people that isn't buried and doesn't need to be drawn out, she wears both quite ably at the same time. Smith, as he did so adeptly in Sharper, manages to be appealingly vulnerable, and then grow into his strength in a captivating way. Grant, for his part, is just playing his Paddington 2 role again, just in a different setting, and hey, if it works, why not?

John Francis Daly, once the D&D nerd on Freaks and Geeks, has fulfilled his destiny in creating an unbelievably enjoyable motion picture out of a property where others have tried and failed so miserably. With long time collaborator Jonathan Goldstein, they've topped any of their prior directorial efforts (the strongest next contender being Game Night a distant second) and this screenplay rivals their Spider-Man: Homecoming (one of the MCU's best). Just...awesome. Love a geeks-make-good story.

If say another one of these does get greenlit, as much as I love this group of characters, I hope Daly and Goldstein create a whole new roster of players to send out on a new adventure.

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I first heard about "Marcel, the shell with shoes on". When I started really getting to know Jenny Slate as a comedic performer (I recalled her from her short stint at SNL [where she said "Fuck" live on TV back when people still gave a shit if you said "fuck" live on TV], but she started to pop in her small roles on shows like Parks and Recreation, before really popping in Kroll Show and starring in the indie angel factory romcom Obvious Child). I looked into it briefly, but it didn't strike in any particular way. But it was a viral hit in the fledgling days of YouTube, and people really dug it.  Slate made only three videos, each under 4 minutes, with Dean Fleischer-Camp directing and animating, the last one appearing in 2014, but there was obviously enough cache behind the series to get both a kids book and a feature film made. 

The feature was critically praised but not a breakout success by any means. Having finally caught up with it, I can see why. It's a quiet, bizarre little movie about a little creature and the guy who films him. The people who own the home in which Marcel lives have split up and vacated the property, turning it into a short-term rental (AirBnB-style), and in the process of leaving accidentally took most of Marcel's family with them, save for his Nana (Isabella Rossellini). Dean (largely an off-screen/behind-the-camera/question-asking persona, having just gone through a break up himself), is renting the place and has discovered Marcel, and begins filming him and posting about him online, leading to a bit of a Marcel craze, that makes both Marcel and Dean quite uncomfortable.

If there's a journey, it's much more about Dean, primarily an off-screen persona, than Marcel. Marcel is an open book, talks about anything, where as Dean is closed off and wants the detachment of the lens to keep a barrier between him and the world. Marcel's sensibility is a trifecta of naivety, deep empathy, and zen-like acceptance for what is, and Marcel's point of view begins to affect Dean's world view but in really, really small ways. Nothing excessively large happens in this film. Marcel learns about the Internet and gets invited to be on 60 Minutes (the Shells' favourite show) and also takes a ride in Dean's car for a first trip into a much larger, mind-blowing world.  

It's a sweet, delicate film that feels like it could just fall over and shatter at any moment, but it's also so blazingly different from pretty much any other all-ages entertainment out there, that it's hard not to get charmed by its uniqueness, even if I'm still not stricken with it.

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I'm not a zombie or horror guy, but I was a Danny Boyle for a long time so 28 Days Later was sort of a thing for me. It was an awakening of my mid-20s self to understanding that I could tolerate horror in a way I hadn't before.  I liked the film, a lot.  I saw 28 Weeks Later in the theatre, and found it to be more action-oriented, but also kind of nerdier in its examination of a kind of post-zombie contagion England. 

Where 28 Days Later started in media res, this one manages to both be a sequel and a new beginning, kickstarting a brand new wave of the pandemic, ultimately resulting in a fairly good follow-up. In a COVID-is-our-reality existence, but effectively demonstrates how a highly transmissible virus can spiral out of control, and even the most extreme efforts to contain it appear futile. It's fucking bleak.

The rage virus is still the most intense and scary of the "zombie" plagues, and I'm absolutely shocked that after, like, 10+ years of The Walking Dead, there still hasn't been another "28 X Later" sequel, or prequel.  You'd think Fox would just crank these things out. But no. There's still talk from Boyle and Alex Garland about making another one. They really should.

I'm not keen on the handheld style of filmmaking here from Fresnadillo, but it wares on me less the more the film goes on.  It's got a phenomenal ahead-of-its time cast with Imogen Poots, Rose Byrne, Jeremy Renner, Idris Elba, Harold Parrineau, and Robert Carlyle. It's just straight up solid.  I recall Renner really standing out when watching this in the theatre in 2008, like I remember distinctly thinking "should I know him?"  The Hurt Locker was only a year later and then he would be Hawkeye... coulda used him in the zombie apocalypse.... Oh wait, they did.

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I probably shouldn't hold an 80's film up to modern standards of representation of mental health and gender identity, but it's hard not to. As it stands, Dressed to Kill could have been a lot worse, but it also doesn't escape Trans panic. The film's murderous character is never formally described as having a split personality, (which they clearly do), and the identities are then conflated with being transsexual rather than a mental health crisis, which sends a pretty awful message.

It was a recommendation from the Tarantin/Avery podcast "Video Archives", as part of their "American Giallo" profile. As a production, it's a gauzy yet stylish movie, that goes big and hard on the melodrama, sometimes to ludicrous excess, and manages more than a few effectively tense sequences. It does fit a giallo mold.

I'm not certain any of the performances in this film are particularly good...Angie Dickinson seems uncertain of her provocative, outwardly sexual role (looking far more fetching in that white dress than masturbating nude in the shower), while Nancy Allen never quite sells her toughness as the savvy sex worker. Michael Caine seems a little bored (sometimes works, sometimes doesn't), while Keith Gordon's gadget-wiz teen isn't really given time to develop a personality. Dennis Franz was born to play a douchebag cop, but it borders on parody here.

It all comes together to form a compellingly bizarre film that is at once in confident filmmaking hands, in a genre DiPalma seems really tapped into, but also working with subject matter(s) way out of their frame of reference.

Some D&Dish: Furious & Dwarves of Demrel

Furious, 2017, Dzhanik Fayziev, Ivan Shurkhovetskiy -- Amazon
Dwarves of Demrel, 2018, Chris Raney -- Amazon

So, it is well known to the five readers of this blog that I am a D&D player. More accurately, an ex-D&D player over 50. And if you know any other ex-D&D players over 50, you know that we remember the days when there were almost no fantasy or swords & sorcery based TV or movie media for us to ogle. Now with The Witcher or The Lord of the Rings (among many other things) setting the bar, we have tons of decent material, and even more (so much more) less than stellar choices. But that doesn't stop me from occasionally walking the stacks (metaphorically speaking) to see if there is anything I might want to watch.

Furious is a pseudo-historical story of the Huns (Mongols? Mongols) invading Russia, more precisely, the attack on the city of Ryazan, and the defense led by the knight Evpaty Kolovrat. The frenetic action focused movie, of a style oft attributed to Wuxia films, is likely lacking on historical accuracy (honestly, how would I know?), replacing it with rousing few-against-many situations where our heroes mostly persevere, as long as there is a heavy dose of melodrama and tragedy.

Evpaty is a soldier, a trainer of soldiers, who suffers from night terrors so severe, he has to be tied down. He awakens every morning with his memory mostly wiped, his loving wife calming him and explaining to him all that has happened since his traumatic injury many years ago, until it all comes back. So, tragic warrior, lovely wife & family, skilled with connections to the Prince and the love of his fellow warriors.

I wish more of the story stuck with me, but the lopsided melodrama and constant slow-mo action overshadowed the story they wanted to tell. To be honest, I liked Evpaty, but you couldn't help but know things were going to go badly for him, despite his role as the everyman who rises above his station to save his people. You see, that's the thing -- he never actually saves his people. The Mongols invade, and like the battle of Stalingrad, the Russians lose, are decimated and our hero still has to gather those left to fend off the overwhelming forces from the east.

The movie is lovely looking, the CGI decent and the set dressing engaging. There is something about the Russian medieval architecture, all wood and peaks, that I love, that fits well into my D&D world-building mind. The problem is that despite their desire to make memorable supporting characters, everyone is just another bearded grim warrior that I could tell from the next. In the end, it was a nice romp but nothing I will ever think about again.

Meanwhile, the very very low budget indie flick Dwarves of Demrel or as it is called on Amazon, Dragon Mountain, was actually rather engaging despite being very very rough around the edges. For one, the repackaging as having something to do with a Dragon is very disingenuous, as it is absolutely nothing to do with any dragons, literally nothing but a CGI one flying overhead like so many of the indie fantasy movies found on Amazon bank on. Dragons sell? Not really, but I guess?

But for me, dwarves sell. The three men playing the dwarven miners trapped underground after a mine explosion and collapse were as convincing as anything CGI-ed by Peter Jackson and crew. They just look the part, with darkness and shadows and bulky clothes helping. The actors just dive into the roles and sell it.

The story is just that, three dwarves trying to survive a cave in, and find a way out. Along the way we find out about the political troubles going on, where humans have come in where dwarves are doing badly, taken over and run the mines like overseers, badly and with little concern for safety, thus the predicament the trio find themselves in. Through conversation and a little action, we learn the hearts of these men.

The problem was that was it. Nothing else but the talking. A good short story, but not enough to make a full novel from, and therefore not enough to make a full movie. There is some danger, and some conspiracy, and intrigue, but not enough to keep me from getting bored. And this is from me, a guy who loves dwarves! Ever since The Hobbit I have been a dwarf man, the first race I go to when I have to start a new character with a new group -- not that that has happened in a long long while.  But I got enough out of the movie to watch to the end, and somewhat enjoy it. I am interested to see if they do another, maybe more about the other races.

3+1 Short Paragraphs: Onward

2020, Dan Scanlon (Monsters University) -- download/Disney+

Again, not movie reviews, but blog posts about movies and TV and sometimes other stuff. I have to remind myself of that when I read something I wrote back and .... well, there is  nothing to say. I really should have something to say, but something about blogging (back in The Day) often lent itself to talking into the wind, especially when nobody was listening. It was the sound of your own voice that you desperately needed to hear. And isn't this even more relevant now, when the only non-digitally produced voice you hear might be your own or your partner's? So, I will continue to say things here, whether I am saying something or nothing at all. Remember, they say if you do something 10,000 times, you become an expert at it. We have about 1200 posts (in almost 10 years; wow!) here so assuming half are mine, I will reach half-life (i.e. capable writing) in (opens calculator on PC) 85 more years.

Onward is the latest Disney/Pixar movie that is not a Toy Story movie. Despite being tailored for me, a movie set in a fantasy world advanced far enough to Modern Day, I was not all that interested in it. Nothing in particular about the plot -- two teenage boy (... elves?) going on a Quest to bring about the top half of their dad -- attracted me. I guess it was that I expected it to be a re-tread of the updated faery tale world already seen the Shrek movies. What I didn't know was that it was actually updating not faery tales, but Fantasy RPG worlds! And despite there being a lack of human protagonists in this world (everyone is a fantastical creature of some sort) the entire world is one where magic and monsters and quests were the history of the day. So, onboard and onward!

Ian and Barley Lightfoot are teenage boy elves who lost their dad (to cancer?) long enough ago that Ian, the youngest, is beginning to forget him. Ian is just trying to find his way in the world while his brother is obsessed with table top games of what must be historical nature, but what we would call fantasy quest games, where valiant heroes go on quests to vanquish monsters and gain magical treasure. To Ian, it's just ancient boring history. The best thing about these two is that Barley might annoy his brother but it's obvious he loves his brother. And then they find, and are only able to half cast, a spell of their father's, one he crafted while he was sick, so the boys could have one more day with him -- some sort of temporary resurrection spell or Speak with Dead, or whatnot -- a high level spell indeed. Problem is that the magical crystal required for the spell cracks half way, leaving them with the disem-top-bodied legs of their dad and only 24 hours to find another crystal -- so, QUEST !

I expected all the standard fantasy creature tropes to show up, given that this was drawing upon the knowledge of any fantasy RPG video game or table top game, common enough these days that people are at least familiar with them, but I was not expecting direct connections to D&D. Yup, they acknowledged that most modern fantasy RPG video games built their base from D&D and all the pen-and-paper games of the 70s. So, I squealed in delight when that bright green gelatinous cube plopped into the dungeon the kids were crawling through. As for the rest of the movie, it was... fun, but nothing great. The creature references and nods to tropes were worth a grin (quest giving tavern now family resto!) and I have a distinct feeling, I will like it more with repeated viewings, but it was a passable, enjoyable flick with heart, which 14 year old Toasty would have been ALL... OVER.

3 Short Paragraphs: The Head Hunter

2018, Jordan Downey (Critters: Bounty Hunter) -- download

During my youth (yeah yeah, last week) I would have watched any swords & sorcery movie. Many of those I have seen, and raved about, have ended up on MST3K. That should tell you the quality. And (luckily?) there were few of these released, even after Conan the Barbarian hit it big. But then The Lord of the Rings blew up, and the number of fantasy movies of incredibly low budget increased exponentially. I refused to see them; I just don't have time for glorified LARPing, especially when nine of ten of them seemed to have been generated by someone who went to the Weta School of Prop Building (not a real place) and everything looks like a low-budget LotR.

At first I thought that was what this was going for, with the orc head on a pike and the spikey armour. But something about it was different, with more than a hint or horror genre attached to a plot about a lone warrior seeking to find the monster that killed his daughter. It felt more Nordic, more mythological based, a modern Grendel meets D&D. And what I got was pleasantly surprising, if a bit short.

So, its that -- a lone warrior, a hunter of monsters, who hears the horn and goes to find & kill his bounty. The director obviously feared for the cheese factor in his limited budget for effects, so he focused on set dressing and mood. The movie just looks incredibly good, from the cinematography to the gritty set dressing. The warrior's armour, his ritual for making healing potions, the interior of his hut -- so much focus and attention to detail. Much of the fighting takes place off camera, and what we get ends up more character study, but its visceral and captivating. Once we actually see him fighting his destined foe, things do get a bit smirk worthy and I definitely did not like the ending, but as an overall endeavour this will be on my unwritten list of movies for D&D fans.

31 Days of Halloween 2017: Stranger Things S2

Netflix, 2017, The Duffer Brothers -- Netflix

Disclosure: This is it. This is the last review for this season. We binged on Season Two over the three days of the birthday weekend. We didn't close out the season. And to be honest, I didn't even keep up with the postings, despite the date on the post.

I loved Stranger Things S1.  So did Kent. And for season two, as it was released on my birthday, it was my gift to myself. I took the day off work and we watched a handful of episodes. No, we do not Whole Show binge.

I, again, loved it. Just loved it. They did a successful followup to an astoundingly popular and successful first season. They did it, they found the niche with which to follow the first season, which was again a mix of familiar genres and tropes related to the 1980s.

Some people lamented the lack of D&D in the second season, and I get it, kids wouldn't just abandon D&D over one summer, despite the trauma connecting their campaign to real life. But as film, as art, opening this season in a video game arcade was downright perfect. And playing the reviled but loved DragonQuest just oozed icing on my birthday cake. You seem, I loved Don Bluth. Even back then, an arcade game that had fantasy and Bluth was perfect. But that 50 cent quarter eater was a fucking fucker of a game. I loved it, I hated it.

So, the first season ended with the defeat of the DemoGorgon and the loss of Eleven. Will is back but she is gone and their lives are changed forever, especially Mike's. Will is just not the same and continues to have nightmares and ... flashbacks (flashovers?) to the UpsideDown. The research lab has been co-opted by a bunch of other scientists who are trying to understand the breach (into said UpsideDown) and seal it. And they are studying Will, under the guise of therapy. But really, they are not the Big Bad this season, and are kind of helpful in a top secret government lab sort of way.

I said it on FB, and I say it here. If season one was Alien (single alien, eerie, dark) then season two is Aliens with its bigger scope, tactical thinking and Paul Reiser. There is one episode that makes that comparison obvious. But this is genre mashing, so we go all the way, even giving us a cabin in the woods and a high school dance.

If the season made one misstep, it was with the after-show. The Walking Dead does it, Game of Thrones did it; almost everyone is doing a show after the show, where cast & guests talk about the show, all meta fanboy like. But the mistake was having this as a "you binged the series, now binge the aftershow". I like to pace things, so I would have liked to flip back and forth, listening to people talk about each episode and savouring it. But instead, I had to listen to the kids struggle to have concrete discussions about themes and ideas, that they didn't actually grasp until it was mentioned to them out loud. Sure, they are a charming bunch (but, Finn Wolfhard [that's his D&D character name, right?] is probably going to grow up to be a Corey) but they are adolescents, so I only have so much patience.

The season ends without any real closure. It was very much a setup for a coming season. They don't so much as defeat the Mind Flayer (what, no one got pedantic and said "It's called an Illithid") as get away from it, and keep it at bay in the UpsideDown. So, darkness is still out there and our world is still in danger.