Sunday, October 12, 2025

31 Days of Halloween: Weapons

2025, Zach Cregger (Barbarian) -- download

In 2022 (wait; that wasn't last year? it seems so recent), we loved Barbarian and like Kent, I am hesitant to label Cregger as the "next....". We've got a lot of those currently, and while I don't mind adding more standard horror directors to the roster, I don't care when they get labelled as the top of their food chain.

This movie was a fucking ride, just like the last one.

And just to get this out there, it almost felt like he got heavy-handed with the allegory early on in the story, just to get it out of the way. Then shit could get entirely fucked up without diluting his intent. 

The story is told from a few different viewpoints, doing the tape rewind, so we can see each person's perspective. But the bookended story is told like a campfire tale, from a little girl's voice, the kind of scary stories children tell each other, far fetched and unreal, like the ones I used to hear/tell, about the Butterscotch Palace (a large caramel coloured hospital in my home town) and the insane patients who escaped. One night, 17 children from Ms Gandy's class ran out into the night, at 2:17am precisely, and ... well, we assume, were never seen again. One child was left behind, and nobody knew what happened.

We start with Ms Gandy (Julia Garner, Wolf Man) and, yeah, she's a bit of a mess. She knows exactly where the vodka is stored in the large alcohol convenience store -- making a beeline right to the fridge and grabs two large bottles. Not that we would fault her, for she is being blamed by the parents of all the missing children, though the investigation for the following month found nothing to connect her. Nor did they find out why only Alex didn't run.... away. She really really wants to connect with Alex, but as Principal Marcus (Benedict Wong, 3 Body Problem) says, that's more to make her feel better than him.

Next up is Archer (Josh Brolin, Outer Range), the father of one of the kids. He's angry and upset and is demanding more be done to find the kids, and figure out whatever the fuck happened. He's the only one who seems to pay close attention to the weird way the kids run and the direction they head. He's also stalking Ms Gandy a wee bit, giving somewhat innocent explanation to the stalking figure she's been feeling. 

And there's Paul (Alden Ehrenreich, Beautiful Creatures) the cop she used to date, who shows up to comfort her. And opposite Paul there is James (Austin Abrams, Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark), the local junkie who just blunders into the plot, trying to secure funds for his next fix. Just as Archer is catching onto ... something, and goes to Ms Gandy to see where she fits into it, she is attacked by Principal Marcus, who is wide-eyed (wide enough to have torn off his own eyelids?), maddened looking and covered in blood and scratches. Just before he bowls her over, we see he is running like the kids did. Archer saves her and...

Tape rewind, many tape rewinds filling in the story, stretching it far from the allegory of school shootings and gun violence into something... creepier and more traditionally horror. Archer has had his hallucination, a vision of an assault rifle in the sky, with 2:17 imposed on it. Why? What does it mean? Nothing directly connected to the story, but the hit-with-a-hammer metaphor that the US is caught up in a cycle where utterly terrible, confounding things happen and people need explanations, reasons why it keeps on happening, so they can ignore the real reasons it is happening. Here, there is a reason for the horrible, inexplicable event that impacted 17 children -- its a witch (Amy Madigan, Carnivàle), a simple horrible witch with her own Hansel & Gretel level manipulation going on.

I get what Kent was saying Cregger's sketch comedy past being prevalent. I found many scenes more eerie than comical, but there were a few, such as Gladys fleeing the children chasing her, where a guffaw escaped me. But so many many other scenes just overwhelmed the funny with chill; everything was well placed here, scary to me and my mind that fills in so many blanks.

We Agree.

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