31 Days of Halloween: Bodies Bodies Bodies

2022, Halina Reijn (Instinct) -- Amazon

OK, full disclosure. Not a horror movie. But given its premise, of a number of rich kids in a house during a hurricane, trying to figure out who murdered one of them, it felt like it might be going the teen-slasher route. But instead, it took a much more interesting path of... social commentary? If you think stating, "rich people are the worst" needs being said.

Sophie (Amandla Stenberg, My Animal) and Bee (Maria Bakalova, The Bubble) are on their way up to <insert semi-rural area where rich people have compounds> to party at David's (Pete Davidson, The Suicide Squad) parents house during an hurricane. They are a new couple and Sophie just got out of rehab and has been out of contact with the group of friends while she was in recovery. Walking in on the pool party, there is instant tension. David's pissed off at Sophie, or just pissed off in general. Sophie's ex Jordan (Myha'la Herrold, Plan B) is there. Alice (Rachel Sennott, Bottoms) brought 40sumthin year old Greg (Lee Pace, Pushing Daisies) to the party. And Emma (Chase Sui Wonders, Bupkis) just seems... fake.

Despite Sophie being straight out of rehab, EVERYONE is doing every intoxicant available, like immediately, including Bee. I am not sure why she expected otherwise. These kids are the worst. I am going to keep on saying that, like my grandmother yelling at the screen. I hated them all, other than Bee, and maybe Greg, because despite being in an entirely inappropriate age bracket, he just seems like a dozey surfer dude, too stupid to be hostile. 

After dark, as the hurricane ramps up outside, they play what they call "bodies, bodies, bodies", their own version of Werewolf or Mafia. As everyone creeps around in the dark, Bee sees David slam up against the glass door. His throat as been slashed. He dies while everyone in their coke/booze/weed/pills mindset freaks the fuck out. There is no cell reception, the phone lines are down and nobody knows who did it.

They begin blaming each other immediately, because, of course they do. They are not really friends, just a collection of toxic co-dependent narcissists who feed off each other's egos. Except Bee. And maybe Greg, who is mystified and terrified when they accuse him, each holding a blade on him. And then Bee kills him with a kettle ball. Fuuuck.

One by one, the stupid little fucks kill each other off, but not before turning on each other at random intervals. Even Bee and Sophie end up at each other's throats, after all the other girls have been shot, fallen down stairs or kicked over the stair railing. They are fighting for a phone, where there is probably evidence of Sophie cheating on Bee with Jordan, when they see David's selfie video of him slashing his own throat, accidentally. Fuuuuuuuck.

Nervous laughter, to the appearance of Max (Conner O'Malley, Palm Springs), the absent suspect who asks, "WTF happened?"

WTF indeed.

So, not a horror movie but entirely worth the watch, if only for the schadenfreude one feels watching terrible people have terrible things happen to them. And the performances! It takes skill to make you constantly switch between sympathy and loathing until you are rooting for ... no one.

Yeaaaah, it doesn't make you a better person to just accept all these horrible people being killed all due to a .... misunderstanding.