3 Short Paragraphs: Wrath of the Titans

2012, Jonathan Liebesman (Darkness Falls, Battle Los Angeles) -- cinema

So, if you read the last review, you know the basic plot of this movie as well.  Someone (Hades this time) wants to release the Titans in order to destroy the world and it is up to our hero with the attention of the gods (Perseus this time; son of a god no less) to defeat them.  This one is the sequel to the moderately popular remake of the Clash of the Titans.  The original was one of the handful of formative D&D movies in my childhood stable.  At least one of my characters had a mechanical owl and all of us wanted a Pegasus. But this is not about a remake but a sequel to a remake but one that would fit well into my adult collection of "only if its cheap" collection of D&D formative movies.  Hell, just about any movie where the heroes fight with swords and CGI monsters are defeated enters that stable.

Again, I found this movie is quite enjoyable -- and I remember saying this about the first movie -- unless you pay attention to the dialogue. Oh Em Gee, what comes out of their mouths is so extraneous.  The plot (???) is incredibly focused so anything they say really doesn't matter, and it was almost as if the script writers knew that.  I felt like a typical action fanboy talking in my head (where they scream it out loud to the screen), "Blah blah blah, quit talking!!  Swing your sword !!"  The hero is dragged out of his "i don't need the gods even if one is my father" life and into the sibling battle between Hades and Zeus against their dad Chronos, the Titan they imprisoned in order to become the sole rulers of the world.  Their power has been waning ever since Perseus proved you don't really need the gods around so they need the prodigal son's help again.  Perseus has to trek to the bowels of Mount Tartarus to try and stop Hades from releasing grampa.  As you see in the trailers, he doesn't succeed so we get another titanic battle. Yes, you can groan at that comment.

Again, this one isn't remotely related to the mythos it supposedly bases itself on.  Again we get an insertion of a labyrinth (brilliant performance by Bill Nighy as Hephaestus) and a Minotaur.  Again, it doesn't really matter to the story.  At least Hephaestus had his buddies the cyclops, which was a nice touch.  Andromeda is back, but he saved her from being chained to a rock in the last one, so this time she is the powerful queen with an army at her back, an army setup to be slaughtered by the Titans.  I never got that part -- not only did the queen not evacuate the unfortunate village on the slopes of Tartarus nor did she turn her army around and RUN when Chronos is released.  Its not like a couple of thousand men the size of his little toe have a chance to defeat a mountain sized walking magma golem.  Meh, makes for a good battle scene I guess.  Like all hollywood sequels, we have to recreate a key scene from the original -- this time, Perseus swoops and dives as he flies Pegasus around Chronos, like a boss battle in the PS3 adaptation of the movie.  Or the trench run in Star Wars -- you choose your analogy.