3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): Ghosted

2023, Dexter Fletcher (Eddie the Eagle) -- download

To be honest, it doesn't matter how much acclaim he gets, he will always be "that guy / one of the guys from Band of Brothers" to me. Sorry Dexter.

That was cute.

I am tempted to end the write-up there, as that is pretty much all I thought about it. He's cute, she's cute, it was cute. But there has to be something else to be said about it?

How about, "What was it about?" A cute guy (Chris Evans, The Losers, finally bulking down) who cannot seem to hang onto a girl, despite being Chris Evans, hooks up with a cute girl (Ana de Armas, Blade Runner 2049) despite them not clicking. They have a perfect all-night. Then he text-bombs her, and she doesn't immediately reply. He gets called out for "love bombing" her, basically sending far far too much to her, scaring her off with that much emotional connection, and her responding by ghosting him. Thus, movie.

Then he stalks her. RomCom terrain has changed a lot in the past decade, as men and women get called on their odd behaviour often attributed to romcoms. Should he just respect that she isn't replying? Does she need or even want a grand gesture? IRL, probably not. In the romcom universe, it is required. So, he tracks her to London, UK and off he goes. Buuuuut, he ends up getting mistaken as the spy she actually is, and gets dragged into her cameo laden espionage world.

OK, that is definitely something worth saying about this movie -- the cameos are great!

Cute Girl is a spy and as soon as Cute Guy gets tied up in her world, she cannot leave him behind. He's freak out, as he should be, and they fight, with each other, as well as the Bad Guys. Constantly. Bickering. Even if the near constant escapes from death shouldn't end their possibility at a relationship, that should. But remember, in the RCCU (romcom cinematic universe) bickering means I Wuv U. I hate that. Eventually they beat all the Bad Guys and have time to have sex again. The end.

The cameos? Tim Blake Nelson as torturer Borislov, who likes bugs. Other Spy-ish assassins: Anthony Mackie as Sam's Grandson, John Cho as The Leopard, Sebastian Stan is God. Burn Gorman drives a cab. Ryan Reynolds is an ex. And director Dexter Fletcher is locked in the trunk of car, missing the opportunity to play a Hip song.

It was cute. They were cute.