3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania

2023, Peyton Reed (Ant-Man) -- download 

WTF did I just watch?

Kent's still immersed in actually, regularly reading comics (I am assuming so? Its not like we actually talk about it, or write about) so I get that he might enjoy the correlation, and I might even agree; if. If we were talking about those regularly bland comic stories where they just did WTF for the sake of WTF, occasionally had cool visuals but ended up just being filler until the next writer/artist came along with something actually meaty & tangibly good, then I would definitely agree. And yes, that was the thing about comics, in that enjoying the medium meant you accepted the less than stellar stories because you just appreciated the medium onto which it was written. But does that translate onto The Big Screen?

Not sure it does...

That said, I have to argue with myself. I have a spate of movies in this blog alone that I watch, and enjoy, purely for the sub-sub-genre they are part of. Scifi movies with robots and heavy on the CGI depiction of interfaces? I am so there...

I will watch this again once it legit hits Disney+ but I have a feeling I might end up legitimately, and actively, as I did with Thor: Love & Thunder, not liking it. Oh, there are elements to enjoy and tons of cool visuals, and its boat loads of fun. But did I enjoy? I.... don't think so.

Or, as I did with the first one, I could end up liking it much more with repeated viewings. Remember, self, I am the one who did not like The Guardians of the Galaxy when it first came out, but then once I had stopped dissecting it, I began actually, truly enjoying it.

OK, we start with coming back to The MCU via Scott Lang's (Paul Rudd, Clueless) place in it. He played his part in Saving The World and is (finally) reaping the benefits with a moderately popular novelization and book tour. Kids have his face on backpacks and (most) people recognize him but he's no longer an Avenger because there are no more Avengers. The entire world has their own version of MCU Fatigue it seems, and I would like one movie to explore this post-Blip/Undo, post-Avengers world more fully. What is Lang doing now? Not much. And people are judging him for it.

Maybe I need a post where I dissect all the Marvel TV shows that are set post-Blip for just the parts that reference What Happened.

And that's where the character story ends.

Suddenly they are whisked away into the Quantum Realm via Cassie's (now played by recognizable face Kathryn Newton, Supernatural) attempt at super science. Oh, did we mention, she's now also a science genius. Not sure how, as she's not related to the Pyms (despite calling Hank "gramps") but let's hand wave it all away for fun. Fun, right?

P.S. Where are her parents?!?!

Anywayz, Quantum Realm. Funny looking aliens. Cities and sentient spaceships. Human looking aliens. Bill Murray. Slurp the goo made from the body of a red blob guy and speak the local common language. Laugh at the funny telepath guy who knows the thoughts you should keep to yourself. Meet the leader of the revolution who looks like Mongal. 

And meet Kang. Remember Kang? He's the ultra cool & suave baddie from Loki who has a shadowy agenda, and even shadowy-er powers, and is tied to the multi-verse (multiverse; not sure why I hyphenated that) because they are using that plot element to tie us to the Next Big Thing. I thought the Next Big Thing would be cosmic, with Skrulls and aliens, but maybe they will all tie together? Who knows, Kang is scary and has a scary conqueror agenda. In the comics, he's called Kang the Conqueror, so he has to say the word at least 5 times here. 

Conqueror !

Anywayz, they split the party. Scott and Cassie are captured by Kang, while the rest of the family goes to an underground nightclub to meet Bill Murray (Bill Murray, Ghostbusters) and hint at Janet's (Michelle Pfeiffer, Batman Returns) less than stellar performance last time she lived here. And hangout with all the cool alien revolutionaries, including aforementioned blob guy (who waves his arms like Kermit the Frog and loooooves holes), laser cannon for a head guy, Mongal, telepath guy, and a bunch of weird (but interesting!) looking background characters. They are revolting against conqueror Kang and his army of blue glow-y heads.

MacGuffin is a glow-y ball of multi-versal (dude, multiversal) energy. If Kang gets it, he can get out (go up?). If the heroes can get it, they can get out. Kang uses Scott to get it, leveraging Cassie against him, because Janet did something size related to it, and they need Pym Particles to undo. Buuuuuut its surrounded by sooooo much multi-versal (Marge Simpson sound) energy that it causes the biggest mindfuck but in reality. Lots of Scotts. LOTS. And then Hope (Evangeline Lilly, Real Steel) shows up and saves Scott but loses the MacGuffin.

And so on.

Suffice it to say they take the battle back to Kang, defeat him, reunite with Cassie, smash lots of things, and causes TONS of collateral damage to the residents of The Quantum Realm, but defeat Kang.

But dooooo they.

The post-credits scene.

TBH, that was the only thing that had me invested. It showed so much, showed so little but hinted at everything.

I didn't intend on commenting on my own commentary as much as I did, but I realize that was one of the initial ideas we had for this blog, in that we write the post together. So we did. Well me and me. And that is my brain these days. Let's call it Multi-Versal Toast. Multiversal! DUDE !

Also, how did you NOT even reference M.O.D.O.K. ?!?!  Well, other than being mildly disappointed he was not voiced by Patton Oswald, I was, honestly just weirded out by him, which I gather was the point. That whole, "Am I a dick?" conversation? Even Scott was having trouble being subtle... Cassie should have been given the opportunity to throw a train at him.