2021, Jon Watts (Cop Car) -- download
I need a new segment, "I Really Should ReWatch" where I just don't get around to writing about a movie when its fresh in my mind, so it gets relegated to the "3 Short Paragraphs" which are never short, and often not three. This also aligns with my desire to rewatch Marvel movies, as they are now, all these years later, just comfort food, something to put on in the background when you are allowed to be distracted by your phone, or washing dishes, or supper or the cats. But I haven't done so for Dune yet [ed. note: yes, I did !], which I really need to do, and I haven't done for this one yet. What is tampering with my desire? Did I not like it? It was alright enough and chock full of nostalgia, which is always my game. But what... what is it? What delayed me? What required multiple failed attempts?
Peter Parker has been revealed to the world by the faux extra-dimensional hero Mysterio, in a final ploy before his death. The accusations are cleared up pretty quickly (without any real resolution), but the secret identify cannot be put back into the box. Its affecting everything about his life, and the life of his friends and family. So, he goes to Doctor Strange to get a spell to ... change things? Everything about that premise just seems off to me, as well as this depiction of Strange. That he would even consider the idea of altering so many memories or reality itself made me wonder if this was entirely a side-reference to the coming Strange movie, and this was most definitely not the Strange from the other Marvel movies, but some multiverse doppel. Even the hair was weird. Alas, no such reveal or hint is really made, he just makes weird choices which have huge ramifications, as Wong points out immediately.
ed. note: rewatch started; stopped, restarted again.
OK, let me get this out of the way. I understand they make the world's reaction extreme, because we wouldn't have a movie about things going Much Worse, if things hadn't gone wrong to begin with. But why? I get that Mysterio came along and beat up some Bad Guy elemental monsters, but Spider-Man was one of the Avengers who Saved The World. Even if the world at large isn't deeply aware of everything he did, the information is out there. So, why believe Mysterio over all these high profile people who obviously Did Good ? Sure, just like in our Pandemic World, there are fucking idiots who believe the worst about everything, and they are highlighted by the reactions of the PE Teacher in Peter's school, but... really? The world is so against him he and his friends get banned from every university? Just not buying it. Or moreso (I don't usually subscribe to the idea that the masses make the language, but in this parallel universe, "more so" is a single word), I don't want to buy it.
Alas, without A we don't get B, so...
Enter Bad Choice A. Peter goes to Doctor Strange to ask for the spell to change the world's memories, so they don't know he is Spider-Man. And despite the two wizards, Wong and Strange, saying its not a good idea, they still proceed with an attempt. But mid-casting, Peter asks Strange to alter the conditions... multiple times. Basically he wants all the people who knew he was Spider-Man before the Mysterio incident to continue knowing he is Spider-Man. That Strange is going to just blunder into casting a spell on the wishes of a teenager, one that will alter the fabric of reality, without thinking it all the way through first is just ... weird. So weird that I quickly started my own head-canon that this was not the MCU's (616) Strange, but one of the multiverse Strange's who's up to no good, as I said above. What If has already introduced the idea of a number of nefarious Strange's who want to alter reality to suit their own desires.
But no, no head-canon, just really Bad Choice B - the actual casting of the spell and altering mid-casting.
That leads to the actual point of the movie, and the most fun bit, so I'll allow it (yes, in MY universe, everything is on my allowance, of course). As the spell is being cast, villains and characters from the other Spider-Man movies appear in MCU Peter's universe. First up, Doc Ock from the Raimi movies. And then, more. Enough more that Strange gives Peter a magical doo-dad to help capture all these other universe interlopers and cage them in the basement of the Sanctum Sanctorum. But when Peter learns that each of them dies in their own universe, he devises a plan to help them instead of just returning them.
Bad Choice C. Dude, just leave well enough alone. Stop messing with the multiverse. Stop being such a Nice Guy Hero.
ed. note: rewatch derailed.... for months. And then restarted, and finally completed.
Of course, it all goes wrong, even more so than the idea of Bad Guys From Everywhere showing up. Peter's Good Dead goes severely punished, as first Green Goblin proves himself more goblin than Osbourne, and kills Aunt Mae, but also Electro decides he likes being his electric self (I mean, are we that surprised by that?) and the energy this universe, the Iron Man arc reactor energy, can provide. Peter's plan has failed miserably.
Note: I am not sure if it was this prevalent in the original Spider-Man movies, but Green Goblin seems to have super strength and limited invulnerability? I always assumed he was just an insane genius on a flying carpet armed with bombs, but he goes toe to toe with MCU Peter, doing an INCREDIBLE amount of damage to Happy's condo and building.
All is lost; enter other Peters. The first time I saw this, I thought it cute but kind of annoying. This time I found it terribly endearing. Maguire Peter Parker is kind of like the pizza-eating Spider-Man from Into the Spider-Verse but less angst, more "hip youth pastor", as Garfield Peter Parker points out. Garfield is definitely full of angst, even anguish, over what he has lost. They are all rightfully grossed out as to where Maguire's webbing comes from. But without much multi-verse brain bending, they pull together for MCU Peter Parker, to actually "cure" all the villains of their universes.
Exxxxxxcept, the damage done by Strange's spell is already gone too far, and OTHER universe villains seem to be seeping through the big purple cracks in the sky. Really, Strange? This is all Peter's fault? Surer he interfered with your spell, but it was YOUR spell. If you are so high and mighty as the Protector of the Multiverse, then why the fuck did you fuck with the entire world's memories in the first place? That said, its ironic that the only way to "cure the universe" is to wipe EVERYONE'S memories of MCU Peter Parker. Not sure how that effects the already messed up timeline, and Peter's place in this world, but sure... make already sad Peter, sadder.
So, this one established firmly, in the MCU (cinematic, not TV) that the MultiVerse is there, not just out there but right there, on the cusp of being irrevocably altered by the MCU futzing around in it. So, then Stange comes along as does just that.
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