31 Days of Halloween: The Pale Door

2020, Aaron B Koontz (Camera Obscura) -- download

Was there a pale door in this movie? I don't recall ever seeing one, nor connecting with any reference to one. If it was there, and able to slip by me, then maybe it wasn't done all that well. Which is the best description of this horror-western.

The Dalton Gang rides again, to rob a train laden with riches. Leader Duncan (Zachary Knighton, Magnum PI), his tag along little brother, and the rest of the murderous crew expect to find a lockbox full of gold, but instead find a pretty young thing all dolled up like Hannibal Lector. If you find a girl, chained and gagged, and locked in a chest protected by at least ten gun toting Pinkerton agents, best leave the girl in the box. But she promises them a reward, so off they go.

They arrive at the newly built set in the wood, no mud, no dust, just houses and shops made to look old, but obviously new; I mean, not even the grass was trodden down. I liked to think that the mystery behind the Girl in the Box would explain that, in story, but no, it was just sloppy production. Cue the rest of the sloppiness. 

The rest of the movie plays out like a bunch of cosplayers of the weird-western RPG Deadlands as the women (and only women; first hint!!) of the Girl in the Box's town turn out to be witches, witches long ago burned at the stake, but somehow still alive, occasionally glamoured to look like whores, but usually scrabbling about on the ceiling like spiders. After some initial bang bang, claw claw, dead cowboys, and plenty of shot-dead witches, the survivors collect in the church. If the witches cannot go into a church, why have they let it stand in their town? Who knows...

To be fair, the performances were pretty B-Movie decent, and the actors committed to their roles, but wooo-weee pardner, the directing and editing was Z-Grade. There is some feeble attempts at backgrounds and motivations, continuously interrupted by scrabbling burned witches, or looming ravens, but the movie goes nowhere and we just don't care.

P.S. It started with a "presented by Joe R Lansdale" which means what, exactly? Almost felt like there should have been an opening monologue where he uses a quote and mentions a pale door. Alas, I did not see anything that hinted of his influence, except maybe his brother helping write the movie.