3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): The King

2019, David Michôd (The Rover) -- Netflix

So, in 2013-ish Joel Edgerton and director Michôd collaborated on the screenplay for The Rover. At the same time they revealed they had worked also together on a script for an adaptation of Shakespeare's "King Henry" plays, often called the Henriad, which cover the reign of King Henry IV and the rise to power of his son, Henry the V. I fully admit I know very little of the plays, only knowing Branagh's 1989 film. I also know very little of the historical period. But it fascinates me that this movie displays as a historical drama, yet retains the fictional character of Falstaff, from the plays, as played by Edgerton himself.

Enough of the meta. This movie just looks & sounds goooood !! Its grim and gritty, yet so very fucking precise in its use of language (close, but not quite Shakespeare-ian) and imagery. And very oddly curtailed in its "historical" depiction. Usually these kinds of movies cover a long range of time keying on points from the history blogs, the sound bites of a figure of notoriety. This movie focuses on Hal's coming to power, and his famous battle with the French at Agincourt. That's it. It helps that its based on plays and not history.

So, Hal (Timothée Chalamet, Dune) is a bit of a layabout. He doesn't care for his father at all and spends his time in Eastcheap drinking and whoring with John Falstaff (Joel Edgerton, Train Dreams), an ex-soldier given to fat and hanging out with the wrong sort, leaning on his royal friend to get him out of tough situations. Meanwhile after fighting the Scots, King Henry's vassals are less than happy with his paranoid responses, one named Hotspur going so far as to insult the King to his face. That leads to the King (Ben Mendelsohn, Captain Marvel) naming them outlaw and sending his son to deal with the "rebellion", his younger son who he has now named as heir, because of Hal's rejection of everything.

Hal is actually incensed, knowing his little brother to be weak, ineffectual and desperate to please their father. He interrupts the grand battle between armies by challenging Hotspur to singular combat. The two fully armoured knights clash, grunting and striking each other in the mud until Hal comes out victorious, stealing glory from his brother. You get the feeling that despite Hal being a drunken fool, he knows how to fight and is keenly aware of his father's failings. Not long after, his brother still dies, trying to prove himself in Wales. And soon after that, King Henry IV dies in bed, covered in sores and regretting everything. Hal is forced to accept the crown.

Hal bears his crown with a heavy heart but a stubborn desire to Be Better. He doesn't want to be his father, a man continually at war with everyone, but also doesn't want to be seen as ineffectual. When, during his coronation, the French send him a single tennis ball, he doesn't react with violence to the insult, as all expected of him. But it becomes clear to us, the viewer, if not Hal himself, that there is a lot going on he was never aware of and there are constant outside factors influencing every aspect of his reign. This is probably when Hal could have used the friendship and guidance of Falstaff, but he leaves the man to his drink and his debts. Until he needs him.

It doesn't take a keen mind to see Hal is being manipulated, primarily by his lead advisor, Sir William Gascoigne (Sean Harris, Mission: Impossible - Fallout), a man always quick with loaded advice, and a very very affected way of standing, as if posing for the camera. It is William who unmasks an assassination attempt leading to the execution of two nobles, one who was Hal's friend in childhood. And it points all swords at France, a challenge not even peace-seeking Hal can ignore. 

Dude, you are being played.

Hal apologizes to Falstaff and brings the drunken knight along as a chief advisor, and they all set sail for France. They are armed with the attempts on Hal's life and some complicated, probably fabricated explanation as to how the King of France is not legally entitled to be king. But in front of the king is his foppish and arrogant son, The Dauphin (Robert Pattinson, The Batman), a cruel man who taunts Hal. They "easily" take the first castle but when they meet the Dauphin's army proper, he has The Higher Ground.

The Battle of Agincourt, the definite point in history. This is where Falstaff's brilliance comes into play. He is a man who suffers from his experiences in wars past, but wants what is best for his friend, and king. He also wants as little death as he can allow to happen, devising a plan where the lightly armoured English will feint an attack on the outnumbering, but heavily armoured French, allowing everyone to go down in the mud. It goes as planned, but at the cost of many English including John. Peace is drawn up and Hal is to marry the French princess (Lily-Rose Depp, Yoga Hosers) to seal it. He asks one thing of her -- always speak truth, because if there is one thing Hal needs it is an advisor who isn't entirely self-serving. 

The movie ends with Hal realizing how everything, the insults by the French and the entire war, was put into play by Gascoigne, to better the man's holdings. Hal dispatches the man in a less than dramatic fashion.

Again, I say the movie just looks good. There is budget and intent in the depictions. The lighting and colouring remains grim even in the lighter scenes, of which there are few. Given the movie is less a recollecting of historical facts, it is not surprising it is more a collection of artfully built vignettes.... much like a play generally is. Dialogue is at the forefront and it also is very precise, but not entirely period nor Shakespeare. If anything, it does feel a bit muted, with the tale of a heavy crown obvious, but not really impactful.

1-1-1-KsMIRT: Djanucembary

K'sMIRT is Kent's Month in Reviewing Television, where each month(ish) I step through the TV series I completed watching each month in the 1 Great-1 Good-1 Bad format.  These are the shows I finished (mostly) in December '23 and January '24.

This "month":
For All Mankind Season 4 - AppleTV+
The Crown Season 6 - Netflix
Letterkenny Season 12 - Crave
Fargo Season 5 - FX
Slow Horses Season 3 - AppleTV+ (6 episodes)
Echo - Disney+ (5 episodes)

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For All Mankind Season 4 - (6 out of 10 episodes watched)

The Plot 100: There's an established multinational base of operations on Mars, but there's division between the military-bred employees of the government, and the for-hire menial labour, especially after a particularly catastrophic asteroid mining operation gone wrong. Meanwhile Cold War tensions reignite after a military coup in Russia.

(1 Great) The episode with the strife in Russia was easily the season's most compelling. It brought stakes to and fallout for every aspect of the show. Margot, particularly, was held captive as a dissident but who are her captors reporting to? On the Mars base tensions run high as there's division amidst the Russians as well as with the Americans, North Koreans and the "neutral" third-party work-for-hires.

(1 Good) Apple isn't shy with their budgets, and FAM never ceases to surprise me with how good the sets look, whether it's era-specific living rooms on Earth, control rooms on space ships, or outdoor settings on the Red Planet.

(1 Bad) Our lead character, Ed Baldwin (Joel Kinnaman) was already an experienced pilot and astronaut at the start of season 1, which was set in 1969. This season starts in 2003, 34 years later. Ed is, conservatively, in his late 60s but seems to be acting closer to his early 80's with his bad grey hair dye and his thickly slathered-on wrinkles and his pained posturing. I can't believe this old man, regardless of his accolades, is still in the rotation. He's also a direly unlikable crank at this point, a self-absorbed hypocrite, and they hint at a romantic entanglement with a Russian cosmonaut at least half his age which was just...no thank you.

META: At this stage there's three original characters left from the first season. The rest have retired or been killed off or don't fit the storyline. It means introducing more new characters, which the show doesn't seem to care about as people, but just as devices for telling their story of class struggles. The carryovers from season 3, Kelly, Aleida and Dev, were supporting cast now bumped up to spotlight players, and I don't think any of the roles are up for the task. By the time I gave up on the show, I was only invested in Margot's story, and even then, hardly enough to keep watching.

FAM is a show built around moving forward in time quickly, and dreaming of a different reality where the space race never ended, leading to a much different focus for our modern conflicts, all centred around journeys into the great unknown. But it does so at the expense of stability. I think its creators (Ronald D Moore, Matt Wolpert and Ben Nedivi) have a clear idea in mind of each step of this series, where it's going and where it wants to end up in terms of advancing humanity's reaches into space, but it struggles with grounding itself in its characters. Conceptually they know what types of stories can be told within the framework, what type of intrigue and drama there can be, but it's always gotten weighed down by cast and striving for continuity. I think Season 4 might have played far better had it been an entirely new cast front and center, with maybe small cameos from old characters. I think then it would feel like it was advancing.

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The Crown Season 6 - (10 episodes)

The Plot 100: Broken into two parts this season, the first half deals with divorcees Diana and Charles, and the ever-growing circus around their lives, culminating in Diana's death. The second half deals with the fallout on the family, with Diana's spotlight now shining on William, as well as Elizabeth and Charles coming to terms with their futures as monarch.

(1 Great)  - This is a particularly banner season for its one-off stories of reverence for and scandal amidst the royal family. I'm not a tabloid guy so I didn't actually know much about the Diana/Dodi relationship, and it was fascinating to watch it unfurl, especially with the prior season's spotlight on Mohamed Al-Fayed and his fixation on the royals, and how he used everything, including his son (and his son's death) to try to ingratiate himself to them, only to be rebuffed (was it racism, or just being too keen, and trying too hard to be liked?). 

(1 Good) - My favourite episode perhaps was "Ruritania" which pitted Elizabeth against Tony Blair, who successfully petitions Bill Clinton's aide in the Kosovo War and is riding high, much to the Royals' chagrin. Losing a popularity contest against the PM, she consults Blair in "modernizing" the crown, but in the process unveils centuries of legacy traditions and roles that would otherwise be lost were the crown not to preserve them. I liked that spotlight, even though I still felt like Peter Morgan was taking bad faith pot shots at Blair because of his party's position on the monarchy that conflicts with his own.

(1 Bad) - this season, more than any other, seems less guided by a narrative for Elizabeth. In fact, Elizabeth shrinks into the background throughout most of the season, as the sensationalism of Diana's life and death captures all the attention. It is a series called The Crown afterall, so it should be about the monarchs yet to reign as well, but Elizabeth has been such the core of the series that when she's not, it feels like it's missing something, as compelling as it still is.

META: I think perhaps because of the time period this season takes place is when the royals were most in the public eye the dialogue felt the most overwraught and pointed, unnatural and hyperaware. It's not the first time I noticed the dialogue in The Crown but I have never noticed it this continually. It's not bad writing, but the family often felt like characters, and not real people, especially Diana and Charles. The glamour of Elizabeth Debicki and Dominic West, well above that of their real selves, was positively distracting, despite being incredible performers.

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Letterkenny Season 12 (6 episodes)

(1 Great) Episode 2 finds Jim Dickins wanting to make a country song and accompanying video, and learns that the gang, to his dismay, don't really have any time for country and western music. But they agree to help him anyway, which of course means they find Strt and Roald are involved on the creative side. They've broken down the components of country and western music into two essential elements: 1) a unique, dumb hook that's also the title (the dumber the better), and 2) as much hick shit as possible.  This leads to a music video that is at once a tribute AND parody to nu-country music.

(1 Good) The main story of last season found the gang taking in a former "good guy"-turned-upcountry degen Jivin' Pete in and trying to help him turn his life around (the implication being he's trying to kick a meth habit), but when he relapses they beat the shit out of him and his degen friends. It's a weird message. This season, Dary falls in with the degens, because, well, he's sick of being the punching bag among his friends. Up til now, the degens have largely been an amorphous group but here they get into the weeds of it all and, yeah, they're trash and proud of it, which just makes them that much worse. Dary gets in too deep, but the message of friendship prevails.

(1 Bad) Flashbacks? Seriously? Letterkenny, for 11 seasons, has been FULL of callbacks. It's not that it gets mired in the past, but rather, it's a show that's developed a population for its fictional town and a shorthand of patter to go along with it. The characters remember jokes they enjoyed in the past, stories told, fights that happened, and refer to them like anyone would. It's just a part of the rapid-fire comedy machine that Jared Keeso built. But they've never needed flashbacks. Flashbacks just get in the way of the rapid-fire comedy. The key trait needed to watch Letterkenny is an attention span, because paying attention pays off, so why in Season 12 do they think we've all of a sudden stopped paying attention. It's a not-very-funny comedic slap in the face.

META: I burned out on Letterkenny in December of 2022 when the wife and I did 10-season binge-watch leading into Season 11. At that stage I'd seen the first few seasons a half dozen times at least. I knew the show inside and out. Strangely my favourite part of Letterkenny was the relationship dramas (such that it was, it was always pretty subtle but made for good cliffhangers).  However once Marie-Fred and Long-Dick Dierks were out of the picture, the relationship drama didn't seem like it had anywhere else to go. Those were pretty high points. So season 10 and 11 felt a bit...floundering and directionless. But Season 12, in turning the relationship drama inward, into conflict between Dary and the group, made for a pretty good season, even with flashbacks. 

The season's other arc is found the characters exploring feeling "stuck" only to, in the end, find themselves content with their lot in life.  You're only "stuck" if you're unhappy with where you are. It's a satisfying end note that, like many a cartoon, signifies that this comedy machine *could* keep on trucking for another dozen seasons if it wanted to, but, perhaps, the creatives are thinking that they themselves are *stuck* and need to move on from Letterkenny.  So while the characters are left happy where they are, Keeso and Jacob Tierney are getting unstuck, set to prove that they can succeed elsewhere, outside of Letterkenny.  It's bittersweet saying goodbye, but it definitely feels like time.  I don't know that this gives the whole town the sendoff it deserves, but, besides those darn flashbacks, it otherwise doesn't feel too pointedly a "final season", which is a good thing. Fitting.

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Fargo Season 5 (10 episodes)

(1 Great) This season is incredible! Tackling toxic masculinity, domestic abuse, female solidarity, right-wing extremism (in its various guises), class structures, city-vs-country, the debt crisis, trauma, and, ultimately, compassion. It's a lot, and it is not shy about it.  It paints a very dense and intricate picture in how all these various components interact, and is sometimes blunt and sometimes sly in its messaging, but it's quite powerful throughout.  It's also darkly funny and frequently intense opening with an incredible sequence that turns the baseline Fargo kidnapping-gone-wrong on its ear in spectacular fashion, and doesn't let up from there. This is Noah Hawley's tightest season of scripts yet (I'm assuming the extra time during the pandemic really let him hone this season to a razor-fine edge) Every episode has its purpose on its own but also in fulfilling the whole picture, and I can't think of a single one that felt like it dipped in quality at all.

(1 Good but also Great) The cast in every season of Fargo have been incredible, but this one was a pretty huge surprise, starting with Juno Temple. Coming out of Ted Lasso, I wouldn't have thought she had this kind of performance in her. Munch calls her a tiger, and he's not wrong. She is absolutely fierce, and resourceful, but she's not an action hero, she's a survivor, and she's smart. It doesn't mean she's infallible, and the show never walks into the trap of having her be anything more than human. I seriously didn't see this in Temple before, but now I don't think I can go back to seeing her as Keeley.  Of course Jon Hamm is great. This character is basically the bastard offspring of Don Draper and Reverend Richard Wayne Gary Wayne (from The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt), just a real self-entitled prick of a human who thinks god speaks through him and his extremist ideals and position of power make him untouchable. His comeuppance, 10 episodes in coming, is so sweet. Jennifer Jason Leigh delivers a stern, poker-face role of the smartest woman in the room, always holding the highest hand, but can still be taught a thing or two by the right person. Dave Foley pops up playing a fixer character, the likes we've seen him do a dozen times in sketches in years past, but bringing a certain aged entitlement and wisdom to it. New Girl's Lamorne Morris, Stranger Things' Joe Keery, and Never Have I Ever's  Richa Moorjani both deliver marvelous performances that show some serious dramatic range outside their popular past roles, and Sam Spruell as Ole Munch, this season's force-to-be-reckoned-with manages to be seemingly the most dangerous piece in the chess set, but also have us filp-flop in rooting for and against him time and again.

(1 Bad) There's really no bad in this, besides bad people. So many bad people. But if I had to pick a "bad" in the story it would come from Lars (Lukas Gage), Moorjani's absolutely useless waste-of-space husband whose tick-like parasitic mooching, driving her deeper into debt and despair. This culminates in a barf-inducing "I want a wife" speech. It's every last dollop of male privilege and white entitlement wrapped in shit and hurled like a grenade with "love" being the pin that's removed to let it explode. The danger he represents is not a physical one, but one of confinement, of restraint, how immature men, led to believe in their own superiority, hold women down by being emotional and financial burdens. 

META: Easily the best season of Fargo yet. It has all the same tricks -- all those Coen Bros. references, the metaphysical element, the cops, the dangerous hired help, the incredible set pieces -- but it transcends them. Season 1 took Fargo the movie and made a TV formula out of it. Each season was a remix of that formula, but still felt like the formula. This season felt like the formula was added to a whole new recipe, creating a much richer, more satisfying dish.

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Slow Horses Season 3 (6 episodes)

(1 Great) It cannot be undersold how incredible Gary Oldman is in this show as Jackson Lamb. He's committed to physically looking his worst, playing a disgusting, flatulent, belligerent sot who still manages to have the sharpest mind in all of intelligence and run circles around his superiors. Few can tolerate being in his presence, and those who can he pushes away at every opportunity. If he's punishing himself for something, we'd like to know it, but it's yet to be revealed.   

(1 Good) Lamb is in charge of Sloe House, and, in each season, you keep expecting the band of MI-5 rejects relegated to Lamb's employ to show a certain level of competency at some point, yet at every turn the Slow Horses manage to affirm exactly why they remain at Sloe House, should Lamb deign to keep them on at all. I love that about the show... you know these are trained field agents, and so you can never anticipate when their competency is going to fail them.

(1 Bad) Watching this season week-to-week.  We binged Seasons 1 and 2 together, but even compared to them, Season 3 was particularly cruel in its cliffhangers each episode. The latter half especially, where the shit started hitting the fan, and then just kept erupting like a geyser.  

META: The show is following the novel series by Mick Herron and each 6-episode season feels like a novel divided into chapters. It feels like a very different way to adapt a novel series into television, being unconcerned with building a cast, in as much as the cast only stays as consistent as the novels. It doesn't matter if the audience likes X or Y, they're staying true, which gives the show the feeling of "anything can happen" which few shows ever truly have.

This season really delves into the games people play when they're part of this world, and adding "independent contractors" to the equation is pretty scary shit, but I'm sure even scarier and upsetting in real life. By the end, the status quo is shaken (not stirred) yet again, and it's a mystery if all the surviving faces from this season will still be returning in the next. I wait expectantly. 

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Echo Season 1 (5 episodes)

(1 Great) Years before superhero fatigue set in globally, there was an entirely different fatigue felt about the Netflix series featuring the Marvel heroes of the streets of New York. They were series that came out the gate strong, a lot of good to great first seasons, but very quickly they started to feel samey and formulaic, and made for the sake of making them. Late stage superhero movies and TV shows feel like they've gone the same route, just a product made impulsively, without much or love or care. Echo is different.

Echo feels different. With lead actor Alaqua Cox, Marvel got a threefer, a Native American (Menominee) performer who is also deaf and wears a prosthetic limb. I'm not meaning to be reductive, since Marvel *could* have simply hired her to check boxes, but, on top of being who she is physically, she is also a very commanding performer. Tall, broad shoulders, with striking facial features that are both hallmarks of beauty and toughness. The jackpot keeps ringing. Alaqua doesn't change her facial expression much, but like tough guys of cinema past who were similarly stone-faced, the performance just makes you pay closer attention.

(1 Good) Echo would be nothing without having a story that embraces Echo's world, draws us into it. The show does so by having extended conversations in sign language, or extended action sequences without much audio, that put you alongside the star in her exploits. And it's so different as to feel shockingly fresh, even if it's largely using the same templates in the past.  The sound variances, the amount of quite moments, they attention getting. It trains you early on that quiet moments are when you read dialogue, but then they quickly also become the times when the action is happening. Being in Echo's hometown in Oklahoma brings with it a heavy Choctaw presence, and a completely different pace than New York's Hells Kitchen. Like Reservation Dogs (which shares many of its performers with Echo), the atmosphere is a lot different, and it seems less melodramatic as a result. Of course, Echo is trying to escape her past, from her adoptive uncle Kingpin, Wilson Fisk (a returning Vincent D'onofrio, gargantuan and fantastically threatening).  But Fisk is not just a ringer, he is both family and foe, and his story, which started way back in Daredevil which started 9 years ago, is deftly recapped here that provides something meaningful to both him and Echo.

(1 Bad) But Charlie Cox's Daredevil, heavily touted on the trailers and commercials for Echo is such a ringer. He's in one sequence, allowing a younger Echo from a few years earlier, have an encounter with the devil of Hells Kitchen and come out with basically a win, impressing uncle Kingpin. That is the extent of his appearance.  

META: The show's opening half hour is a bit of a muddy trek as it tries to strip out what's still important from the Hawkeye series in which Echo debuted for this series. It mixes in new footage with reuse and there is noticable minutiae between them that really feels like disconnected hodgepodge. At the same time as it's trying to either catch up new viewers or refresh prior viewers, it's also seeding in its own lore based in Choctaw ancestry for Echo's power-set beyond being a tough-as-nails fighter. Once you make it past the rough opening, and Echo returns home, it's three and a half really, truly solid episodes of action-drama TV that sometimes transcend. The finale, though, feels the weight of its reduced episode order (from 6 to 5) as it does feel hurried and certain characters do get a bit of short shrift (I could have done with much more Devery Jacobs). I appreciate how Echo sort of de-escalates the situation rather than making it larger. It was a much appreciated tactic for shifting the whole thing.  As a package, I liked it far, far better than I was expecting and it

So This Is Christmas Leftovers: Kent Edition

In prior years, when we'd do the XMas Advent Calendar, I would go a little overboard in preparing.  I would sit down sometime in late-October or early-November and scroll through all the upcoming Hallmark, Lifetime and other channel Hallmarkies looking for the intriguing or different ones based off the cast list and one short paragraph descriptions.  It wound up being a lot.  I would start watching Hallmarkies in November and keep watching them, certainly seeing more than the allotted 12 I'd need for the Advent Calendar.  I overdid it last year, and it was like gorging on something to the point of barfing, I became a little averse to them this year.  I made a plan for the Advent Calendar, a list of 12 movies or specials with a couple alternates.  I mostly adhered to it, but a couple of things I watched didn't pan out as something worth writing about.  Like the "Christmas At Sandringham" special on CBC Gem, which I was going to do as my follow-up to A Royal Corgi Christmas.  For some reason, in my head, I thought this was going to be the actual Queen (RIP) taking the viewer through a tour of her Christmas house at Sandringham.  I don't know why I would think such a thing. This was a talking heads "tour" of Christmas with the house of Windsor family of Royals (by the tenor of such things this was made just before Harry and Meghan flipped the family the bird and fucked off to California) led by former caterers and employees, Royal watchers and comedians.  Having recently blitzed the latest season of the Crown, it did put a few things into context, but it also reaffirmed the excesses of the Royal family (a staff of 200 required to put on a Christmas dinner for one family of 25 people? Fuck off).

Netflix's Murderville returns with the special Who Killed Santa: A Murderville Murder Mystery was a more drawn-out episode of the series, with not just one celebrity "rookie detective" accompanying Will Arnett's bumbling senior detective Terry Seattle, but two, in the form of Jason Bateman, and Maya Rudolph.  Rudolph joins part way through the affair, which seems unfair, given that part of the point is the celebrity is supposed to figure out who the murderer is based on the clues presented to them.  Bringing out a third, surprise celebrity rookie detective late in the third act just before it's time to pick which of the suspects is the murderer makes for some pretty funny twists, but it also like the Murderville team saying they're already kind of bored with the premise they've established for the show.  That there's no honest guess that Rudolph or celeb #3 could make means their selections are, yes, rediculous but as valid as the chance they've been given.  Sean Hayes, Kurt Braunholer, and Eliza Coupe also guest star as suspects and murder victims.  It has some exceptionally funny moments, and, frankly I think this episode might be funnier than any of the previous, but I wonder if the formula has already run out of gas.

Speaking of Will Arnett, a 3-part Lego Masters holiday special was a bit of a bust.  Four returning competitors from the past 3 seasons of Lego Masters are paired up with four small-c celebrities (certainly not of the Jason Bateman/Maya Rudolph caliber) with little Lego-building experience to compete in three builds for a charity win. It really highlights how the competition/elimination format of Lego Masters is a necessary part of the show's appeal.  I just wasn't into this, fast forwarding to the judging of the builds.  Perhaps the Lego Builders were teaching the celebrities some tips and tricks about Lego building but I couldn't be bothered to find out.

The podcast How Did This Get Made did an episode on Mar Vista's The 12 Pups of Christmas (2019, d. Michael Feifer - CBC Gem), an off-brand Hallmarkie that is, in the parlance of HDTGM, bonkers.  It starts with Erin, a New York pet therapist (the third pet therapist I've seen in a Hallmarkie this season, and the second from a Mar Vista picture) learning, on her wedding day the day after Thanksgiving, that her fiancee has been sleeping with her best friend, then leaving to her new job in San Francisco which she had already accepted before the wedding fell apart.  The company is a "tech startup" working in designing tracking collars, but they've been at it for a year and the thing is still a brick. She meets the boss, who's a bit prickly, and he charges her with helping find homes for the 12 puppies who were left behind after a photo shoot. Erin is settled into her new, fully furnished apartment, which is in a house where, like, half the company lives. They insist they're like a family, and it feels cult-ish, but Erin is into it.  Her and the boss start spending time together giving away puppies, and Erin (a pet-therapist, remember) revolutionizes the company with her various ideas. Things get intriguing when Erin's former best friend turns up on her doorstep begging forgiveness, and the worm turns even more when boss-man insists Erin go with him to present to the primary investor...in New York, where they fall in love (or, rather, he falls in love and she seems to go along with it) and then her ex turns up in the hotel lobby and he and the boss man get into a fist fight (yes, actual violence in a Hallmarkie).  And that's just a minuscule offering of the absurdities this film has to offer.  Lead actor Charlotte Sullivan is the lynchpin of this film's appeal.  At first her sleepy-eyed, monotonal performance seems way too subdued to draw us into caring about Erin's journey much at all (she seems so disaffected by everything) but at a certain point it becomes readily apparent that there's a sublimely savvy comedic performance, dryer-than-dry, happening here, and unfortunately nobody else is working on her same level. The rest of the cast are operating on the level of a genuine Hallmarkie, whereas Sullivan is basically subverting the whole production, with Erin being a satire of the conventional Hallmarkie lead.  Don't get me wrong, this is not a good movie, but it's ridiculously entertaining.  Honestly, I'd probably watch it again.

And finally, there's Adult Swim Yule Log (2022, d. Casper Kelly - Cartoon Network), which begins like your stereotypical fireplace image of burning wood, crackling away, with an instrumental recording of "Good King Wenceslas" playing over top.  But, are those the sounds of a car driving up in the background? Car doors slamming shut? The sounds of the cabin door opening, the music turns off, legs and bags and a vacuum cleaner step into frame and then out again.  The vacuum cleaner becomes the soundtrack over the crackling fire.  A phone call.  A knock at the door.  Hillbillies.  Murder.  Cleanup...and then, time to go, as more people arrive.  A couple, one who adjusts the camera's lens to a wider shot of the room, as they talk, and he sets up a proposal, while, in the foreground the Hillbilly murder is seen peeking out from behind a door reflected in the distorted shape of a metal vase.  A knock at the door.  The sheriff's department. They're warning of murderer on the loose, and then extinguish the fire warning that the log on the fire came from a cursed tree, once used for lynching. After they leave, the couple argue, anxieties risen.  Weird glimpses into other times pass across the screen.  But they're once again interrupted by a knock at the door.  A quartet of stoners arrive.  The place has been double booked.  Ooops.  They're true-crime podcasters, there to explore the many murders, curses, hauntings, and alien abductions that have happened in the area. Awkward chitter chatter but an agreement is made for the night, rooms assigned, and everyone splits up.  One goes off to shower, and we're left with static shot of the room and the unlit fire....which reignites itself, and the flame shoots out of the hearth towards the camera.  Raimi cam starts trailing throughout the (very, very nice) cabin, up the stairs, into the bathroom, through the shower curtain, and bashes in the head of the stoner showering.  And that's the first 20-ish minutes of the 91-minute horror movie from Adult Swim regular Casper Kelly (Too Many Cooks).  It's an exceptionally bizarre film that refuses to play by the rules, introducing no less than five different threats to the cottagers, taking time-traveling diversions into the fireplace, and just going way overboard in sometimes gross, sometimes scary, sometimes delightful, sometimes puzzling ways.  As a whole it's not boring, but I also don't know if it's an entirely successful production.  Given the static shot of the opening 20 minutes, the fake-out fireplace channel set-up, and the Hillbilly murderers, and then the layers upon layers of exposition and peculiarities introduced and generational traumas invoked, it's really hard to invest in the couple that are, ostensibly, the leads of the film (Andrea Liang and Justin Miles are both very likeable performers, however).  I had only heard a one line synopsis for this, a fireplace channel that becomes a horror movie, but for the first half I kept thinking that this would possibly have been better as a conceptually artistic horror movie (basically a radio play) where the lens never leaves the fireplace and we just hear everything that happens.  Of course Kelly's ambitions were much larger, and the second half of the film is a very weird smorgasbord that just keeps piling on top of itself in an admirable tour de force of craziness, absurdity and horror.  Best approached as a viewing exercise rather than as straight cinematic entertainment.  Mike Geier, aka Puddles Pity Party, sings the wonderfully operatic theme song that closes the film.

T&K's XMas (2022) Advent Calendar: Day 11 - A Royal Corgi Christmas

 A Toast to HallmarKent
2022, d. Clare Niederpruem - Hallmark

The Draw: Corgis!

That's not even the dog that played Mistletoe
Mistletoe was a Cardigan and that's a Pembroke

HERstory: The Isle of Comfrey, where "playboy" Edmund, the estranged prince, bought his mom the queen *another* corgi for Christmas. Well, actually he won him in a poker game.  He's an untrained, year old pup, so good thing the family have that "corgi wrangler".  Oh, but that posh twit Carrington is a "Royal Corgi Handler...corgis with bloodlines that go as far back as your own.  At a year old the dog is unable to be trained, at least by Royal standards," he snootily remarks.  (The corgi wrangler is also snogging the princess on the side and he has an inferiority complex about it).  At a really, really sad press junket the Queen is holding for the purpose of - unbeknownst to Prince Edmund-- announcing his ascension to King, "Mistletoe" (what he named the Corgi) runs amok and hauls the runner off the buffet, knocking all the food to the floor (why was there food there anyway? Are press conferences typically catered with ham?), and the video of it becomes a viral internet sensation.

Across the pond, Cecily (Hunter King, Nailed It!) is a dog trainer and author (a book on dog training called "DOG-MA: How to parent your pup") promoting her book on a talk show.  It's implied that she recently went through a break up (a story point given very little weight but is meant to be a big emotional underpinning of Cecily's character). Her gay bff and/or press agent (oh, manager...) is a royal watcher, and sees "Mistletoe" as a big opportunity for Cecily to promote her... training?  (Oh, wait, it's to promote her "Rover Rehab" charity where they train and socialize adult dogs).  But from Edmund's perspective, if he can turn his corgi around then he maybe will prove himself King-worthy to mumsy (don't ask me how this plan makes any sense).

Arriving at the "castle" (the ugliest castle I've ever seen, which just may be a superimposed cardboard cut out in wide shots)  Cecily is brought to Mistletoe who's barking away while Edmund's fencing trainer is clearly letting him win because that was some shitty fencing, even from my untrained eye.  Cecily's first encounter with Edmund is basically "oh good, you're here, fix my dog, don't talk to me. C-Ya!"  Cecily's like "But this is your dog, you have to be part of it"... but he's already gone.

Cecily meets Carrington, the Royal Corgi Handler, who snootily shits all over Cecily "the youtube trainer" to her face and ah-ah-ah's her attempt to pet the royal corgis Juniper and Holly. Cecily explains to the family that she doesn't train dogs, she trains people to train dogs, and Edmund's like "Not me" and she's like "Yeah you" and he's like "Nuh uh" and she's like "Yuh huh, or I'm Audi five thousey.  Tah-tah."  The Queen's impressed.

First session of dog training proves that Edmund doesn't know shit about dogs.  It's reiterated over, and over, and over again that Edmund hasn't spent much time in Comfrey for the past decade, but he needs to become reacquainted with his country and people if he's to be king... "the least qualified monarch ever" he calls himself. Cecily has ideas on how he can endear himself to his people (and it sounds something like holding a charity event for Plover Plehab).  According to the princess (earlier in the film), talking to Carrington, Edmund already has a complex about people using him for his title or his money... I'm sure that's not going to come up again.  

Out on the streets with Cecily and Mistletoe, Edmund starts to meet and greet the people, including a little orphan boy name "Pee-tah" who just loves Mistletoe.  Edmund takes inspiration and delivers Christmas presents to the orphanage, and then plays some basketball with the kids.  It's weird.  Later Edmund asks Cecily to dinner...not a date, just going to dinner and having a nice time.  But dinner was reserved under the prince's name, so the paparazzo will be swarming.  So instead the prince and Cecily go to the kitchen and make "Comfrey Pie" and talk about Churro, the dog she lost after a breakup (no lament over the relationship), and then they dance. But oh no, the pie starts burning after 4 minutes.  Um, how hot is that oven? 

A corgi derby, with betting for charity. A Christmas ball.  An invitation to the Christmas ball.  Awkward feelings abound. Scheming and plotting from the Royal Corgi Handler whom we suspected all along would be scheming an plotting.  The misunderstanding (sigh).  The Queen retiring (at, like, what? 60?) and announcing a new... queen(not Edmund!). A reconciliation. Corgis corgis corgis. This is a bad, bad, bad, bad, movie

The Formulae: Baking time (not a montage though). Fake traditions - the Legendary Wishing Tree of Comfrey, where the royal family (and guests) tie a ribbon around the tree's branches (congrats to the set decorators for actually weathering some, but not enough, of the ribbons already on the tree).  Hot Chocolate (for the Queen).  A ball.  The blue dress. The bullshit misunderstanding where the dude gets all in a snit because he he's given a piece of information about the girl which completely changes his mind about her, because Hallmark people never understand how to put things into context.

Unformulae: There have been pet-based Hallmarkies, and Prince-based Hallmarkies...but has there ever been a pet-based, Prince-base Hallmarkie?  Probably. With the exception of someone using the words "corgi wrangler", there's nothing unformulaic about this.  Everything is predictable and completely telegraphed.  

True Calling? I guess there are royal Corgis, and it's Christmas, but the "Christmas" part is sooo shoehorned in.  It's very much like they did not have the budget to really do up the Christmas aspect.

The Rewind: I rewound to see what the title of Cecily's book was called.  It wasn't worth the extra seconds.  In a "movie" with corgis, that I didn't once rewind to see some fun/cute corgi action really underlines how terrible this movie is.

The Regulars: This is from the writer of Merry & Bright  and The Nine Kittens of Christmas (the most disappointing Hallmark experience I've ever had) so I shouldn't be surprised by how not great this was.  This is Hunter King's first Hallmarkie, and I just feel so bad for her, she seems better than this.   Surprisingly it's everyone's first Hallmarkie (save the writer and director).

How does it Hallmark? The romance is soooo forced.  Some might say obligatory.  All the emotional moments (dead father talk, parental issues, sibling issues, extended family issues) all ring very hollow.  There's no chemistry between any of the players here (no romantic chemistry, no sibling chemistry, no familial chemistry, no royal chemistry).  Nobody even seems *that* attached to the corgis (and the corgis don't seem attached to any of these people).  Comfrey is the worst fictional European territory.This is bad, even by bad Hallmark standards.  One of the worst ever. 

How does it movie? Audio quality bad.  Set decoration...so bad... certainly no "the Crown", is also no "Princess Switch"...it's not even "King of Queens".  It's real bad you guys. It's like dollar store posh.  The wardrobes, equally bad.  The bloody queen wears the same bloody outfit (which looks straight off the TJ Maxx/Winners rack) twice in seemingly as many days.  And there's no sense of royal decorum or formality. The queen's private secretary, Hobbs, totally has the hots for the queen and then makes the moves on her before the Christmas ball.  For serious? Or the royal line of succession is so informal as to surprise someone with the news that they're taking over?  I wish this was even fun bad but it's just so painful.

How Does It Snow? As if things couldn't get any worse... no snow. None.  At all.

I Saw This!! What I Have Been Watching (Kent Edition) - *Another* Another One

I Saw This (double exclamation point) is our feature wherein Kent(me) or Toasty attempt to write about a bunch of stuff they watched some time ago and meant to write about but just never got around to doing so. But we can't not write cuz that would be bad, very bad.  60 hour work weeks at work bad.

What I Am/Have Been Watching is the admitted state of typically Toast, but in this case, Kent, spending too much time in front of the TV. But what else has the pandemic been about if not toobin? Sure, we got a few breaks from being confined at home, and might have actually gone outside (gasp!) and socialized with (double-gasp!) human beings (faint-dead-away) but we always ended up back on the sofa, flicker in hand, trying to find something to watch amidst the many streaming services pillaging our credit cards every month...and yeah, Kent still has cable.

"Another One" is quick thoughts on subsequent seasons of things I've already watched/reviewed on the blog.  I'm going to reread (and link to) my review(s) of previous seasons and see what, if anything, different I have to say about them in comparison....

The Flight Attendant Season 2 - HBO/Crave

Season 1

I was incredibly satisfied with Season 1, an utterly compelling, delightful surprise of a murder-mystery/substance abuse/personal trauma/espionage comedy-thriller.  Yeah, it juggled a lot of balls and it did so expertly.  By the end of the first season it closed off the main threads that a second season didn't really seem at all necessary.  When you have something this complete, this good, you almost hate to go back to it and ruin it with more. I had intended to just avoid season 2, but I believe a lull in the schedule and perhaps a snippet of a trailer was enough to pique my interest and bring me back in.  

Season 2 is definitely not as tight as season 1.  It has an exceptionally strong, resonant story about Kaley Cuoco's titular flight attendant having relocated from New York to California, and working through a recovery program to stay sober... and failing, all while working as liaison to the CIA (and circumnavigating said work for her own interests).  It's the glue that holds the season together and absolutely the most compelling aspect.  Where it doesn't quite gel is in the comings and goings of the returning cast from the prior season.  Despite the fact that the mystery/espionage aspect centers much around an on-the-run Rosie Perez, Perez isn't much of a focal character, to the point that when they do decide to focus on her and the family she abandoned it feels more like filling time than an honest attempt at character exploration.  A lot of this awkwardness can be chalked up to COVID shooting, and a great deal of Cuoco's scenes have her performing against herself (as she battles with her darker urges and wrestles with exploring her past traumas more deeply).  I don't know what's left for a third season (and there's certainly nothing at the end of this season demanding such), but I'm genuinely invested in the character, and I think it would be fairly blank slate for pretty much anything to happen in a return season.

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Never Have I Ever Season 3 - Netflix

Season 1 | Season 2

I absolutely love the first two seasons of Never Have I Ever.  In my opinion it's Netflix's best original situation comedy.  I've watched the first season three times and the second twice, and the third season was hotly anticipated, to the point that we effectively binged the entire season in one marathon sitting.  It's almost unfair to the show to binge it so hard, just mowing down, barely tasting the comedy, or the drama, rather than savouring it one or two episodes at a time over multiple days (or weeks even).  But it is a show that is so dramatically propulsive that it demands binge watching.

This season starts with Devi and Paxton as an honest-to-gosh item, but it's very clear (as it has been in the past) that they're not a perfect match.  They're very different people, but also each struggling with their own insecurities that prevent them from having an honest relationship.  The great thing about the series is Devi doesn't keep repeating her same mistakes from prior seasons...no, she just finds new ones.  

We spend more time this season with the broader cast, though Devi is still the main focus.  There's another Ben-centric episode and Paxton feels more fleshed out as a person, rather than just eye-candy.  Nalini, Kamala, Fabiola, and Eleanor all seem to have their own growth moments and entertaining sub-plots that seem to share equal time.  The device of John McEnroe narrating Devi's innermost thoughts is still paying very strong, very hilarious dividends. But it's still Maitreyi Ramakrishnan as Devi leading this all.  She's been good from the outset, but she's downright amazing this season, just fully in control of the emotionally out-of-control Devi.  Just a massive, massive talent.  This may not be the strongest season story-wise, but it is Ramakrishnan's finest outing yet.

This season seemed to end almost on a note that it was wrapping things up...but mercifully it looks like a fourth season is on its way next year.  I cannot wait, but I can always rewatch in the interim.

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Only Murders In The Building Season 2 - Disney+

Season 1

Much like The Flight Attendant, the first season of Only Murders In The Building was such an effective surprise, with an equally satisfying resolution, that I didn't necessarily need another season.  Unlike The Flight Attendant I wasn't worried about a subsequent season treading on the goodwill imbued by the first, since the real draw was the trio of Steve Martin, Martin Short and Selena Gomez.  They're each such radically different performers and personalities that their blending in this show is just some potent alchemy.  

The end of the first season had the "Only Murders" podcasting gang being the top suspects in another murder in the building, of the recently "retired" head of the tenant board, Bunny.  The death of Bunny leads to very public exposure for the trio, which brings new people into their sphere (some old faces from their past), as well as a very meta podcast about their podcast from on of the top true crime podcasters (a returning Tina Fey).  The police release them after interrogation but continue to monitor them, meanwhile it's revealed that they may have a more personal connection to this then just being wrongfully accused.

The mystery isn't as strong this season, but it does effectively provide the jumping off point for investigating our leads at this very moment.  The show also manages to weave in some very effective returning guest spots from the prior season (thinking that perhaps we wouldn't see much of these characters again), and those become some of the finest moments of the series.  On the only really negative side, the inclusion of Amy Schumer as a version of herself as the new penthouse suite tenant (taking over from Sting) pulled me out of the show every time she appeared.  I generally like Schumer, but this appearance just didn't feel organic in the slightest.  The guest spot from Shriley MacLaine, however: magnificent.  Great fun.  Season 3 is teed up, and looks like a blast.

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Mythic Quest  Season 2 - AppleTV+

Season 1

As I write this, the third episode of Season 3 just dropped on Apple.  It hasn't been that long since I watched season 2, but already the memories are fading.  One of the threads finds Jo (Jessie Ennis) abandoning David (David Hornsby) to instead be Brad's (Danny Pudi) protege.  Jo going from David whom she can utterly manipulate like a puppet (but then David is such a beta pushover, anyone can do so) to the keen understudy of Brad's Sith-like teachings made for great comedy, but the power dynamic shifted in a great episode where Brad's brother comes to visit, and he's proves even more devious than Brad, and Jo thinks she has found an upper hand.

Another fantastic episode takes a step 40 years in the past to the mid-70s at a science fiction magazine where new recruit C.W. (F. Murray Abraham, but here portrayed by Josh Brener) finds likeminded souls in two of his fellow copy editors, all aspiring to be the next Asimov.  The story is a light drama (much like season 1's historical side-step into a tangential fore barer to Mythic Quest) but it pays off with a tense reunion between two of the three, featuring William Hurt's final performance, and honestly, it can draw a few tears.

The rest of the season stays exceptionally witty, the core of Ian (Rob McElhenney) and Poppy (Charlotte Nicado) strained relationship as co-developers evolving beautifully, their egos waxing and waning throughout.  It's wonderful to see what is basically a marriage story about a discontented couple who never stop arguing about their kid, only this couple is a game design partnership and the child is a game.  There's no "will they/won't they" here, the relationship they have is almost too much.  The season ends with a massive shake-up that could easily serve as a series finale, but it's intent was just fuel for season 3.  

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What We Do In The Shadows Season 4 - FX

reviews: Movie | Season 1 | Season 2 | Season 3

Nandor (Kayvan Novak), still very much looking for love after the last season, gets a little push with the help of a Djinn who grants him 52 wishes.  Thinking deep back in his past, he asks the Djinn to resurrect his harem of 37 wives to see if any of them are his soul mate.  It surprisingly doesn't take long for Nandor to find the one, but then it's a pretty rapid road to discontentment.

Nadja (Natasia Demetriou), meanwhile, opens a vampire nightclub with the help of The Guide (Kristin Schaal returning, yay).  Things are wonky as she deals with labour troubles (those damn wraiths), faulty blood sprinklers, celebrity guests (Sophia Coppola and Jim Jarmush drop by for a spill), and money issues.

Guillermo (Harvey Guillen), looking after the house (which has fallen in disrepair quite dramatically) starts to look for happiness for himself, having a new long-distance boyfriend. Nobody ever lets him rest though, as he tries to keep all the plates spinning including hosting his living family for dinner with his vampire family.  It doesn't go well.

But the big event of the season is Lazlo (Matt Barry) raising Baby Colin (the uncanny valley of Mark Proksch's head on a baby or toddler or child's body as he rapidly grows this season).  The dynamic is so surreal and hilarious.

The best episode, however, finds stand-up duo the Sklar Brothers performing ala The Property Brothers and hosting a faux home renovation show as they fix up the homestead.  Despite the show already being a mocumentary format, switching to a home reno format is its own specific style that is clearly differentiated.  

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Rutherford Falls Season 2 - Showcase

Season 1

After having expected Season 1 to have more of an edge, but kindness porn winning out, I was better prepared for season 2, knowing that it's a gentler show with the only agenda of telling funny stories with a heavy (but not exclusive) Native American cultural focus.   

With Nathan Rutherford (Ed Helms) having learned that history is often told from a tainted lens, and been exposed publicly on a podcast for perpetuating the lies of his family's past, he disappeared from town for 6 months, and Reagan (Jana Schmieding) has taken over the town history museum with Bobby's (Jesse Leigh) help.  But Nathan turns out to have been hiding in a hidden room the whole time and Reagan draws him back out into public life just as an election for town mayor is called.  It's imperative to Terry's long-term plans for the town that his anti-progress nemesis, and front-runner, Feather Day (Letterkenny's Kaniehtiio Horn) isn't elected, so he looks to Nathan for support.  But Nathan instead nominate's young Bobby, who, despite their youth, seems more than up for the challenge.

As a whole, the season is very focused on the character journeys - Reagan finding love and trying to get land on the Res despite not being married or having a family; Terry having to confront his own limitations and start asking other people for help, despite the bruises to his ego; Nathan coming to grips with having no focus in life, and learning his fling with the former mayor has resulted in a pregnancy - yet each individual episode does tend to feel a little disjointed.  Even still, it's a charming show from start to finish each episode, and there's such warmth even when there's conflict.  There's absolutely no shame in kindness porn, and in fact we need more of it.  Sadly, Rutherford Falls was cancelled by Peacock... the streaming wars are going to see a lot of casualties over the next two years, mark my words.

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Resident Alien Season 2.5 - CTV Scifi

Season 2.0

The second half of this second Season of Resident Alien tried to go big, but ultimately it pulled back understanding that, even facing the end of the world, it's not a big show.  At its heart its story comes from a small town mentality, and it thrives off the connections between its populace.  

For me, the specifics of what happens in the show are almost negligible.  The over-arcing story isn't especially unique or satisfying, it's all character dynamics here.  The story is basically something to hang this hour-long comedy-drama upon.   This season did really pushed past the first in the scope of storytelling though, with a global conspiracy of another invading alien race, and a whole message sent from the future, plus deepening the connections of alien abductions to the characters of Patience, and some threads of parent-child relationships.

I like most of the characters on the show and where I typically find the stuff with Mayor Ben very dull his history of sleepwalking turning out to be a result of recurring alien abductions was a nice twist for him to spice him up more.  A whole storyline about developing a resort in town, causing friction between Ben and his wife, seemed to be filling time, as did the story of Darcy's addiction to painkillers tanking her first stable relationship.  I like the ongoing story of Asta and the daughter she gave up for adoption...it's exceptionally well done with potent, soulful performance from Sara Tomko, and Corey Reynolds as Sherriff Mike gets a lot more to chew on this season, including a deeper backstory, a romantic entanglement, and some parental issues. 

But every week I come back for one thing, and one thing primarily: Alan Tudyk's absolutely incredible portrayal of Harry Vanderspeigel/the Alien.  It's absolutely the best comedic performance on television, and I laugh harder at Harry than almost any other character on TV.  He won't ever get recognized for it, as the show is too under the radar, but it never fails to make me hurt laughing.

One final season to come.

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Big Mouth Season 6 - Netflix

Season 1 | Season 4 | Human Resourses

Here's the surprising truth: I think I prefer Human Resources to Big Mouth.  Human Resources is like filthy Pixar, like Monsters Inc. or Inside Out where something very conventional or intangible has this whole entire infrastructure backing it up.  Human Resources was built out of 5 years of Big Mouth so its rich world of hard coded job descriptions and whatnot didn't just arrive out of whole cloth, it owes Bit Mouth everything.  So coming back to Big Mouth and having to deal with Nick (Nick Kroll) and Andrew's (John Mulaney) shtick once again was a little less enticing this time around.

However, Nick really took a back seat this season.  Jesse (Jesse Klein) really took the co-lead alongside Missy (Ayo Edibiri), Matthew (Andrew Rannells) and Andrew.  Jesse was dealing with her hatred towards her pregnant stepmom and her fear of the looming sibling replacing her, to the point that she indirectly develops a yeast infection.  Missy starts dating a new boy, Elijah (Brian Tyree Henry), who discovers he's asexual.  Matthew is very much into dating Jay, for some reason, but that relationship starts taking its toll on both of them.  Andrew finds himself in love with Bernie Sanders (Kristin Schaal) and gets a new love bug (Chris O'Dowd), at the same time his parents (Paula Pell and Richard Kind) relationship seems to be falling apart. Meanwhile Maury is very pregnant, and Connie still wants nothing to do with the baby.

The world of Big Mouth has become so huge that each episode feels pretty jam packed, and somehow it keeps clicking.  It's hilarious, shocking, gross, and sometimes exceptionally poignant and sentimental.  Talking genitalia are still all over this beast, and unexpectedly seeing too much of everything is to be expected.  It's still got a lot of legs, so long as it keeps recognizing the diaspora of sexuality and the stories that can result.

 

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Unsolved Mysteries Volume 3 - Netflix

Season 1

The first episodes of Unsolved Mysteries this season upset me to the point that I would wake up in the middle of the night dreaming about it and then not be able to go back to sleep thinking about the particular horrors that were experienced (both by the victim, and by those who found her) and the mystery behind it all.  You really feel for the family, wrestling with so many questions about the loss of their loved one, and the gut-wrenching empathy you have for them, and the victim... you can feel sick to your stomach afterwards, and helpless.

The nature of the show is that these mysteries are unsolved, so after spending an hour with each case and the facts involved, there's no closure so you're left thoroughly unsatisfied by these stories.  I have to say, as challenging as these are to watch, as emotional as they can get, as heavily as they can weigh on me afterwards, I much prefer this format, which is much more documentary-style, interview-heavy, with timeline graphics and maps when needed, and less reliant on recreations and quick little facts vignettes that the old show would employ.

This season features one episodes on a mass sighting of UFOs that were documented by the local police department and the man operating the weather radar at the time.  It also features a story on the Navajo Nation rangers who would investigate paranormal phenomena on the reserve...everything from UFOs to poltergeists to Bigfoots.  The retired ranger concludes, at the end of the episode, that these things likely bleed from another dimension, a parallel reality.  The Navajo Nation Rangers paranormal investigation unit is a scripted TV series just waiting to happen. (Following this episode is the story of "What happened to Josh" a college student who disappeared a decade or so ago while walking between dorms one night... the answer was not UFOs but that was my immediate thought, connecting the dots before me.)

The theme song still gives me the willies.

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Harley Quinn Season 3

Season 1 

In Harley Quinn's third season of destroying all the mystique of Gotham City, Harls and Ivy are now a solid, if oddly matched, item... in love and making it work despite their differences.  Harley has to deal with a great many things before her, including an over-eager Batgirl wanting to be her friend, her ex-abuser the Joker (now reformed) running for mayor, and discovering the secret of Bruce Wayne and being kind of cool about it.

The show takes the piss out of costumed vigilantes and costumed villains alike.  Harley, being an agent of chaos and straddling the line between them, seems like the only sensible person in a world of madness...until she's not.  Kaley Cuoco (The Flight Attendant) is so damn confident in the role, and just nails every note perfectly.

Meanwhile Clayface gets a job on the set of The Thomas Wayne Story, working with director James Gunn and lead actor Billy Bob Thornton...until he accidentally kills BBT and takes his place, just hoping to high hopes hi isn't found out.  Just like in Resident Alien Alan Tudyk knows it's a go-big-or-go-hope type of performance.  Clayface is not as eccentric as Harry Vanderspeigle, but with that "master thespian" voice with a hint of lyricism to it.  

The jokes, as usual, come fast and heavy, some obvious, some so sly you almost miss them (or maybe I did miss them, because they're so sly).   I sometimes have to brace myself for the level of piss-taking the show takes with characters I otherwise take seriously in the comics, but it's important to remember these aren't actually sacred things and it's okay to make fun of them.  It (hopefully) doesn't dispel their dramatic impetus in other venues.

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The Crown Season 5 - Netflix

Season 1 | Season 4

The third watch has stepped into The Crown and it's maybe its most powerhouse group yet, with Imelda Staunton as Elizabeth, Jonathan Pryce as Philip, Lesley Manville as Margaret, Johnny Lee Miller as John Major, Dominic West as Charles, and Elizabeth Debicki as Diana.

Clearly in this time period of the 1990s, Charles and Diana are just falling apart.  Andrew and Sarah have already split, and the country is starting to really question the necessity of the Royal Family more than ever.  So things are not going well at all, and it's hard to see them improving, as Diana starts lashing out publicly, via a tell-all novel (though disguising her participation, it's obvious) and doing a BBC interview coaxed through a lot of false claims and deceptive tactics by the interviewer to fuel Diana's paranoia.  Debicki is utterly magnificent as Diana, capturing the well known head tilt and soft-spokenness, but really humanizing her, showing all her complexities and in no way deifying her.

Notably handsome man Dominic West (McNulty from The Wire) is a curious choice for Charles, but through posture and mannerisms he manages to evoke the Prince (now King, eh) quite adeptly, showing a side to him that is much stronger and savvier than we've seen from Charles in the past seasons, but also still retaining some of that naive vulnerability.

Staunton's Elizabeth is a much harsher Queen than Olivia Coleman or Clare Foy.  It's understandable, after 40 years as sovereign she's rather entrenched in her role, and her sense of what her duty is has remained unwavering...unfortunately the world has changed around her as she has remained steadfast, and it does come with a bit of reckoning.  Philip spends his time with a new love, horse carriage racing, which he brings his godson's wife into after she loses a child.  It's a reunion of Pryce with Natascha McElhone who costarred together in the underappreciated classic thriller Ronan and that same paternal relationship is rekindled here.

The standout episode of the season is almost devoid of the royals altogether as we find ourselves following Mohammad Al Fayed as he first sees the Duke and Duchess of Windsor in Egypt in the 1946 and becomes entranced by the elegance of British royalty.  As he ages, it's his greatest desire to rub shoulders with the god-like beings, and he accumulates wealth and status in very pointed maneuvers, including purchasing the Harrods, and Duke of Windsor's French estate, to bring him ever so close to them.  The most affecting part, however is the relationship Al Fayed forges with the Duke's former valet, Sydney Johnson, who he then hires as tutor in the ways of all things royal. An incredibly sweet platonic romance results. 

With seemingly no expense spared it's frequently "wow"-inducing, and with the in-house drama reaching its heights, exceptionally compelling viewing.

T&K's XMas (2020) Advent Calendar: Day 7 - The Princess Switch 2: Switched Again

A Toast to Hallmarkent: The Princess Switch 2: Switched Again
 2020, d. Mike Rohl

The Story:

When last we left the Princess Switch, Stacy (the baker from Chicago) was married to Prince Edward making her Princess of Belgravia.  Lady Margaret Delacourt, duchess of Montenero, (Edward's ex-fiancee and somehow identical twin to Stacy) meanwhile had fallen in love with Stacy's business partner Kevin, was adored by his young daughter Olivia, and there was insinuation that he was going to propose.

Well, it's two years on and Stacy has been keeping busy in her princessly duties, too busy in fact, such that Edward is feeling ignored.  Stacy's just so worried about her twin not-sibling Margaret who has, as a result of the death of her uncle, and abdication of her cousin, become Montenero's Queen-in-Waiting.  Because of her new royal responsibility, she and Kevin broke up, and it's causing Stacy to fret.  With the coronation a few days away (on Christmas, naturally), Stacy thinks there's one last opportunity to get Kevin and Margaret back together.

Back in Chicago, at Kevin's bustling, pre-COVID bakery (where Stacy is a silent partner), the goodies are in total demand, and Olivia is child labor working the register.  Kevin (who sports a real beard throughout the whole movie appears to have a fake beard in this scene for some reason) looks like hot garbage, wearing sweatpants and a dumpy sweater to bake in.  He looks unhygenic, quite frankly.  They should have CGIed in flies and stink lines.  Stacy mocks his post-breakup misery and implores him to come to Margaret's coronation.  Just close up your busy shop that is probably the only way you make money and fuck off to royal gaga land (but if you can land a Queen then you don't need to worry about money, so maybe it's a gamble worth taking).  Also, Olivia didn't mail the RSVP declining as her dad had asked her to.

In Montenero, the gang all arrives together, and Margaret's palace is looking pretty drab for almost-Christmas.  The dust covers are still on virtually everything.  So, the gang (and the ample staff of the palace) decorate the shit out of the place.  It's completely overblown and excessive and it looks festive as fuck in there (two "fucks" already, what's up with me today).  Seriously, Margaret's bedroom is more festive than a Santa Claus parade.  Then Margaret and Kevin are left to go make hot chocolate for everyone (and by everyone I mean only the main cast, surely the legion of staff who did the majority of the work get no hot chocolate...hot lemon water at best).  Kevin cracks a joke about how Margaret has probably never even been in this kitchen, and she gets him back by looking in the oven and saying "oh, all the food is gone".  Actor Nick Sagar has to do so much fake laughing and fake enjoyment of trite things in this film...you can see a little bit of his soul die with every smile and half-laugh.  Things escalate when Margaret drops a bag of flour on Kevin's face and it devolves into a "we have servants to clean this shit up" flour fight (where Vanessa Hudgens keeps throwing the flower in Nick Sagar's face but he's obviously been instructed to avoid her makeup and hair because he throws it only at her chest).  

They get a little closer but are interrupted when  Margaret must go see her chief of staff, Count Antonio Rossi, who, you can tell from the first second on screen is a real jag. And most definitely not Italian.  Margaret has known him forever, and now he's making eyes at her, professing his interest in ruling by her side.  Ugh, he's slimy and gross.  But he's an effective approximation of a Disney princess cartoon villain in real life.

At an evening event, Kevin and Margaret start to dance (Kevin: "lets show them how it's done".  End result: nothing at all spectacular), and they have a moment, but they're once again interrupted, this time by Margaret's cousin ("cuzzy"), the posh and flamboyant Lady Fiona Pembroke (Hudgens again).  It was all trite, cliched b.s. trying to get lapsed lovers back together until Fiona shows up, and suddenly the movie (20 minutes in) is laid bare... three Vanessa Hudgens?!?  There's going to be some triple switching happening.

Well yes.  First Stacy wants to switch with Margaret to give her some quality alone time with Kevin, hopefully rekindling the romance.  Margaret is reluctant but Olivia, Frank (Edward's chief aide) and Mrs. Donatelli (Margaret's chief aide) are all on board for the Princess Switch again.  But there's triple trouble, since Lady Fiona is pretty much broke, so she and her two dimwit lackeys (Reggie and Mindy) scheme to switch places with Margaret just long enough for the coronation and to take a respectable half of her fortune before going off to some tropical paradise where there's no extradition treaty.

To fast forward through all of the shenanigans, Edward has a heart-to-heart with Stacy-as-Margaret,  Olivia distracts Edward from the switch with Christmas Eve shopping, Margaret and Kevin build snowmen which is all it takes to profess love for each other again, Fiona switches places with Stacy who she thinks is Margaret, but when Margaret returns to switch back with Stacy, Fiona keeps up the Margaret act and calls her the imposter.  She totally can't believe that worked (nor can anyone watching), as Margaret backs off.  Then Fiona-as-Margaret tells Kevin off and send him packing on a late evening run to the Montenero airport on Christmas Eve, although the weird magical old man from the last movie turns up as the cab driver.  Why? I dunno.  

Anyway, Margaret regroups with Edward, Frank and Mrs. Donatelli (who Fiona fired...on Christmas Eve... after two decades of service... seriously...and there was nothing suspicious about that unprompeted, out-of-character action?  C'mon!) and they plot to rescue Stacy, who kind of escapes on her own, leading to Edward punching out Reggie (with Frank assisting with a well-timed judo chop).  Fiona-as-Margaret encounters Antonio (sigh) and he's onto her right away (she has a damn tattoo on her finger ffs!).  Turns out Antonio, despite being a count, is broke too, so they hatch a scheme to step up the coronation to late Christmas Eve, rob the kingdom blind and he takes a cut.

But they're busted. Antonio gets arrested and Margaret and co rush off to the airport to stop Kevin from leaving. She's the almost-damn-queen of Montenero...no security is going to hold her up from chasing after her man who is getting ready to board a plane.  They get married by a priest who's about to miss his flight to London, because Kevin was actually going to ask her last summer and still carries the ring everywhere he goes. Fiona, meanwhile, was kind of left unattended at the church, so she makes a run for it, with a couple of crown jewels to show for it.

The coronation happens, the Aldovian Christmas Prince and princess and royal baby from that other Netflix movie series are there, and Margaret looks amazingly queenly (not quite the same budget as The Crown happening here, but inspiration taken for sure).  Ah, but looks like Fiona got caught and was escorted to the coronation by the police.  And Boss Nass holds up the glowing orb and shouts "peace"! Now all the Moteneroids and Gungans live happily ever after.

PS. There's no discussion, at all, about what's happening with Kevin's bakery in Chicago.  Don't worry Kevin, it's going to get shut down for COVID concerns in 4 months anyway.  Go live in your wife's estate and be happy.

The Draw:
I watched the first one and enjoyed it for its differences from the usual Hallmark/Lifetime fare, so I watched this one...remembering early on that it's not *that* different from the usual Hallmark/Lifetime fare.

The Formulae:
Stupid misundertandings because people don't frickin' talk to one another.  Playfully romantic(?) food fight.  Grownups, without any children around, building snowmen (and women...snowpeople).  The race to the airport. The gross, manipulative third party trying to snake his way between the romantic couple.

Unformulae:
All that, cheap boring action, and role switching.

True Calling?
It's true, the princess did switch again.

The Rewind:
They actually do a very shrewd job with the body doubles that you think you see multiple Hudgens in the same scene more often than you ever do.

The Regulars:
Almost the entire cast is the same from the last one.  Van Hudg is actually really great, crafting three distinct characters and making them play very well in disguise as the other ones.  It's kinda fun.

How does it Hallmark?
More engaging the the usual Hallmark fare, but that's not saying to much.  Much, much, much better production values.  Crowd scenes look crowded, the palace and decorations are gorgeous, the costuming is more than just H&M wear, and looks really really good.  Wigs and makeup are great (don't see to many wigs in Hallmark, do ya?) particularly in helping Van Hudg define her three personas.

How does it movie?
It's tough.  Van Hudg is so damn charming she makes almost anything worth watching...and yet this one's a bit of a mess.  It doesn't spend enough time with any of its plots to really make them stand out...the switch and double switch seem forced and really doesn't last all that long... the story relies upon people being oblivious when they should be more astute... and the contrivances are often too, too much.  I don't like that the stakes of the big evil switching plan was really just Kevin and Margaret's relationship.... there should have been grander stakes involving the well-being of the country...but then the typical audience for these things just wants the lightest and fluffiest escapist fare.