3 Short Paragraphs (Or Not): Kraken

2026, Pål Øie (The Tunnel) -- download

Blah blah, insert some repetitive commentary about Norwegians being the only one doing disaster movies these days. But this isn't a disaster movie, is it? No, but kaiju are a type of Natural Disaster, wouldn't you say? And it matters not, as I am always there for a giant monster story, except maybe the Russian movie of the same name that came out the year prior, which struck me more as a mockbuster of this one.

This is where I admit I was entirely suckered by "Clash of the Titans" and their subbing of Cetus (Greek tentacle monster) for The Kraken, which is actually of Norwegian origin.

Johanne (Sara Khorami, Troll 2) is a marine biologist sent to a fish farm in Sogneford, a Norwegian fjord know for having the deepest waters. Something has been causing strange fish behaviour and die-off's which everyone assumes is linked to the revolutionary technology being used at the fish farm, a device that utilizes sonic waves to shake off "fish lice". Think of this as the same ecological impact as fracking, but water-based -- locals are upset with it but its allowing the fish farmer company of bring in Japanese investors, hoping to expand to other fjords.

It starts with disappearances and unexplained deaths -- tourist kids on their jet ski, local kayakers. Meanwhile something is hinky as Johanne investigates the fish farm itself; we immediately do not trust technician Georg (Jon Erik Myer, Furia), while Johanne clashes with the lead technologist Erik (Mikkel Bratt Silset, The Tunnel) who happens to be her ex and has utilized technology they developed together, but eventually abandoned. Meanwhile the daughter of the owner of the fish farm is playing junior eco-terrorist and poking her nose where it shouldn't be.

The movie breezes past any real suspense, doing a cookie-cutter approach to monster movies: unexplained deaths, grim body discoveries, shady corporate antics, old men with monster history, well-meaning scientist, even a Jaws-like "no, we can't close down the water". It all culminates in a silly battle with the kaiju itself when it attacks the fish farm -- the fish-lice tech was going way beyond its self-imposed safety specs and had awakened the beast from its slumber in the deepest parts of the fjord. Stealing cues from Deep Rising, the tentacles "chase" people through duct work and our heroine whispers, "We need to stay quiet !" Why? Tentacles are not ears, unless this movie is postulating that kaiju octopuses listen with their entire body? No matter, they run and hide, bad people are pulled under and Johanne destroys the tech just in time. BUT her and Erik rig up the remaining tech to turn it into a ... bomb? What? How? Whatever, she escapes on her own to trigger the device before being dragged down herself, a heroic sacrifice to save the people of the fjord. Does she kill it? Send it back to its slumber? Who knows; whatever "logic" is at play, it would be tossed aside for any planned sequel.

It was a silly movie that took itself way too seriously, and while it had earnest well-done performances, the characters were all paper thin and the dialogue was common place. The CGI was decent enough but the destruction was far too reserved for a kaiju movie. And yet... I liked it?

Poster commentary. IMP Awards only had the Russian movie. I was amused that Google offered me many versions of the "Kraven" movie poster... only one letter difference, right? The tag-line "only 5% of the ocean has been explored..." has very little to do with this movie.